Bryn Bamber: Career Burnout And Intuitive Business Coach | The Business Blast Podcast #453

Welcome to the Business Blast podcast. I'm your host, Tyler Wagner. This episode is brought to you by Authors Unite. Authors Unite provides you with all the resources you need to become a successful author. You can learn more about Authors Unite and join the free community at authorsunite.com. Now let's jump into the episode. Alright everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Business Blast Podcast. I'm your host Tyler Wagner. Today I have Brynn Bamber with us. She is a career burnout and intuitive business coach who helps sensitive souls build a life and a business aligned with their goals. So welcome to the show. So pumped to have you on. Everybody listening, this is going to be a really fun and valuable episode. I am excited. So are you ready, Brynn?

I am ready.

All right, we'll dive into the first one. The first question I have for you is, what is the best story from your life that has an underlying valuable message?

Okay, big question. Awesome question. So, okay, here's where we're gonna go. So picture this. I am on a film set for the first time in my life. It's a documentary film. It's really simple. There's a black backdrop. There's a stool, and a girl walks out. She's about 14 years old, and she starts to tell her story. So she talks about her childhood. When she was growing up, in her family there was a lot of love, but there was also violence in her home. And so she tells her story. At some point, she gets taken away from her, her parents by child services because of the violence. Someone finds out, she gets taken away. At about age 12, she starts to do drugs. Because she ends up in a foster home where there isn't the love. So her initial home, there was love, but there was violence. And then in her foster home, there isn't even love. So she turns to substances, she turns to drugs. And then at some point after that, she gets involved with the justice system. So the girl tells her story, she talks about her hopes, her dreams, what she wants to be when she grows up. But there's this kind of underlying, you know, challenging childhood. And then the next girl comes out and tells her story, and it's almost exactly the same. Some of the small details are different. Sometimes the violence was, you know, her father doing something to her mother. Sometimes the girl herself experienced the violence. But girl after girl after girl comes out and tells a very similar story. And the thing about this documentary film shoot is all of the girls are wearing masks. They're wearing masks that they painted themselves because this documentary is happening in a prison. So all of these girls with these similar stories are all of the girls who are in this youth custody facility for females under the age of 18. And so You know, it broke me. That day really broke me. It broke my heart to hear story after story of what happened. And the thing that was so strange for me was that the stories were so similar that it was almost a formula. By the end of the day, it seemed like a formula. They all— none of the girls that ended up in prison were living with their families. None of them still lived with their parents. They had all been taken away. And then it was sometime after they were taken away from their parents that they ended up involved with the justice system.

Wow.

So it taught me a few things. It taught me that like to think about maybe what a prisoner is differently. Because, you know, like, these were teenage girls, they had crushes on Justin Bieber, they were, you know, they were like every other teenage girl I'd ever worked with. And that, and, and yeah, they just seem the same. But their family circumstances were different. And so they ended up with a totally different life than some other teenage girls. Wow. So it taught me that. It also broke me. It also led to me quitting that job because I couldn't do it anymore. And it led me to— I ended up, you know, I was exhausted. I was overworked. It was my dream job, but I couldn't do it. I was so torn. And so I eventually left and I ended up moving to an ashram, which is like a yoga center, and learning more about myself and connecting to my spirituality and learning a ton. And then after 2 years, like I quit and I lived at this ashram for 2 years and studied my mind and meditated and did yoga and like, you know, learned about all the gods and goddesses. And then I went back to the same job working with very similar youth, but with a new set of skills and a new kind of understanding of the impact that I was able to make. And, you know, I was better at, you know, not beating myself up and, you know, all of the things that I was doing before.

Wow.

Long story. Yes.

That was— yes. Thank you for sharing that with us. I literally like, there's visual. So wait, are you saying this is like a documentary that's like out?

Like, you know, the sad thing is, as far as I know, the project wasn't finished. We did the filming.

Wow.

But it, but the filmmaker was doing it pro bono. And she got swamped with her other programs. I wish it was out because, you know, the way we were gonna do it is we were gonna kind of show the girls' stories and only reveal later in the film, they were using custody to allow the visitor, visit the viewer to kind of connect to the girl and not just see them as a prisoner. But I don't think it's out. I've since left the organization, but when I, when I left it, it wasn't finished.

Got it. Okay. Yeah, because I have like a visual in my mind. So I was like, I want to know. That's, yeah, thank you for sharing that with us.

Yeah.

Well, I feel we will move to the next question, but that was a banger in the beginning. So Brynn, the next one that I have for you is what is the most valuable piece of information we should know that's within your expertise or industry?

Yeah, so I'm gonna kind of build on my story. So I, you know, like, I'm a career burnout coach. So I really burnt out after that experience with those young women. And I kind of learned how to heal and continue doing the good work, you know, even when things are difficult. And so what I really want to say to your listeners is, You deserve rest. You deserve to go to the park and read a book. You deserve to take a bath. Because one of the things that I learned from that story is that I think we get— we think about efficiency in the short term. We're like, what did I get done today? I need to get so much done today. And we can push ourselves in the short term, push, push, push, and then we break at a certain point. And so I like to look at efficiency in the long term. Like, think about what do I need to get done today? And how do I need to take care of myself so that in a year from now, I can still be doing this work? Or a year from now, I can be taking on even more because I've taken good care of myself.

Yes, and I will second the taking a bath. I like taking a bath sometimes. So I'm in.

Baths are amazing.

They are, yeah, I like them. And reading a book, obviously, great idea. The next one I have for you is, what is your best piece of overall business advice? So not necessarily industry-specific.

Yeah, so my— so I— so a lot of my clients are kind of perfectionist types. They're often very sensitive. You know, in the intro, you introduced me as someone who works with sensitive souls, and that's kind of, that's kind of my audience. That's who I work with. A lot of them are kind of leaving traditional jobs like engineering or trying to become a professor or those kinds of jobs and starting their own businesses. So I'm working with a number of of people who are making that transition. And I think the most important thing I've learned from working with these clients is that it's really important when you're building your business to know who you are and then to build a business that fits with that. Because I guess the type of businesses I'm really encouraging I want my clients to build are ones that are, you know, heart-centered, connected to their purpose. They're excited to do the work. They're not necessarily like, how can we make the most money? Although they, you know, obviously it's a business, it needs to be profitable. So it's not like forgetting, you know, going into the total woo-woo spiritual world where it's like, just don't worry about it, money will come. You know, it's a balance. But I think it's really about like knowing who you are, knowing what you're good at, and then knowing what you suck at. Because you need to ask for help. You need to hire people to help you with certain parts. You need to— the technology is amazing. Like you can automate a bunch of stuff that was like you used to have to do by hand. And, you know, often you have to pay for the software, but it's like way cheaper than hiring an assistant to do it. So knowing your strengths and then knowing, you know, knowing the stuff that you hate or that you're bad at and getting support with that stuff.

And if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would that be?

Okay, so first things first, my younger self probably would have told me to fuck off. So, I mean, I don't know if this would have worked. But, you know, I would have tried that. I would have tried to tell her to rest and to take a bath and to read a book and all of that stuff. But, you know, it really in some ways I had to break. I don't know. I was really— thought spirituality was stupid. I thought self-care was selfish. I was like, I judged people who kind of took care of themselves. So, you know, I don't know that I would— I don't know that it would have worked. But it would have been like rest, sleep, find out who you are, like, connect to your heart, like all of this stuff. And then, you know, she probably would have gave me the finger.

Yeah, I like it. Well, I agree with you. I think like, I think that's a part of the process is like breaking. And I don't know, I forget who says this quote, and I might be butchering it. But I think it's like a fool who persists in his folly becomes wise, something like that. So it's like, you know, you just like keep going, keep going, keep going, and then you break. and the break is like what turns you on a different path of like whatever you want to call it, quote unquote success, happiness, you know, whatever. But it is the breaking point is a necessary part, I think. So I agree.

Which means— Yeah, I wish it could be otherwise sometimes. Yeah, right?

Because sometimes the break is really painful. I'm with you, but you know, one way, I don't know, I just feel like sharing this. One way that I think about some things is like the biggest negatives can actually make like the positives even brighter because like the negatives are kind of like a reflector. So, you know, your biggest breaking point then, so it's like if today you have like 20 meetings and you're like getting stressed out, you can like remind yourself like, whoa, like what am I even stressed about? Like things were way worse at my breaking point. Like, this is nothing, man. I could drink coffee 20 times and talk to people today. You know what I mean?

Like, that's why.

So I don't know. I kind of— I like to view them as reflectors because I think that helps.

I like that.

Which leads perfectly into the next question, which is, in your opinion, what is the key to happiness?

Yeah. So, like, all my questions to your— all my answers to your questions are, like, gonna It's just the same thing repeated over and over again. So I think knowing yourself is huge. Like, when I think about myself, my younger, my 20-year-old self that was really stressed and pushing really hard, like, I didn't even know at that point that I was an introvert. I thought I was an extrovert because I was so scared of being by myself, which, you know, I don't even, I'm not even going to try and explain the psychology of what was happening for me. But, you know, like, I didn't know I was an introvert. Like, I've recently realized that I'm a highly sensitive person, which I don't know if you know about that kind of terminology and the research around that. But it means like, loud noises are really difficult for me, bright lights, and, and, and highly sensitive people are often also really aware of the emotions that are around. So since I've learned that I'm introverted, I'm highly sensitive, you know, I have these particular needs, I've been able to build a life that really protects myself and gives me a situation where, you know, at the end of the day, I don't feel like crap. Because I didn't, you know, like going to the mall is like actually the worst thing in the world for highly sensitive people and for me, because there's like lots of people, bright lights and lots of noise. So I've built a life that totally is taking care of my needs. And then I just am almost naturally happy because I'm not drained. And All of us are different. Like, you know, the person that I'm dating is super extroverted. He needs, you know, a ton of, of social stimulation to be happy. Some people, you know, thrive, thrive in downtown New York, like busy, you know, so I think it's really about figuring out who you are, what actually makes you happy, and then building a life around that.

And I could not agree more. And going back to the book thing in the bathtub, what is, what is the best book that you've read and what was the number one thing you learned from that?

Yeah, so I'm just going to tell you about a recent book because it overwhelms me to try and think of the best book I've ever read. Sounds good. I recently read And by read, I mean listen to, because Audible is amazing and reading, you know, it's hard to have time to like sit down and read, whereas I can like listen to a book on my bike, which is amazing, is Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. It's an old book of hers. I think it came out in 1992, but it's essentially, it's her interpretation on A Course in Miracles, which is a book I haven't been able to get through because it's big and dense. And the Audible reader sounds like a boring old man. So I haven't listened to it. But essentially, the essence of the book is that we can either make decisions from a place of fear or from a place of love. And so, you know, building a life that is going to, you know, serve you and serve the world is about moving from fear-based decisions to decisions that are based on love. So I love the book in some ways because it's so, it just simplifies, you know, it's like there's all these like self-help books that have these like complicated systems. And this one is just like, am I making this decision from a place of fear or am I making it from a place of love?

And what is your favorite quote and why?

So I don't have it written out in front of me, but I'm going to do my best. It's, don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you feel alive. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. And it's by Howard Thurman, who was a leader in the civil rights movement and did a number of different things. And I love the quote because I used to really be asking myself what the world needs. Like, I've always been, you know, since I learned about, you know, all the disparity and the poverty and the war and everything that is happening and has been happening forever. I've really wanted to make an impact in some way. And I used to be asking myself, what, you know, how can I make the biggest impact? How can I like be efficient? And, and that's what burnt me out, is by building my life in that way that was all focused on on making the biggest impact. And so, yeah, I love thinking instead, what makes me feel alive? Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Because this activist guy who I don't even remember his name did this talk all about the salmon, and he was crying about the salmon in the dams, and, you know, an environmentalist guy. And at the end of the talk, he said, you know, like, the salmon is my passion. It's what I'm obsessed with. But you don't have to do that. Because if you want to help, like, don't worry, there's shit everywhere. So if you want to be a teacher, like, you know, make, you know, you can teach the kids about the environment or other things. You can teach the kids about themselves. If you want to be a nurse, you can make an impact there. If you want to, you know, build apps that make other people be able to make their impact, like, do that. Like, you know, the world is messed up. Figure out what you're good at, and that's how you're going to make the biggest impact.

Yes, I love it. Thank you.

Woo! Woo!

We did it. Thank you so much for coming on. I do have one last question for you. Before we let you go, and that is, I'm sure everybody listening would like to know, where can they connect with you online?

Yeah, so, you know, the, the motherland is the website, brynnebamber.com, B-R-Y-N-N-B-A-M-B-E-R.com. I'm also really loving Instagram these days. At Instagram, I'm brynne_bamber. And I'm on Twitter, I'm on Facebook, so I'm on LinkedIn, so you can find me there, Brynn Bamber.

Perfect. Thank you again, Brynn. We really appreciate you coming on.

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Great questions. I love your questions. The podcast you just heard was published with Anchor. Got something you want to say to the creator of this show? Send them a voice message using the Anchor app, free for iOS and Android.