Dr. Jen Faber: Unconventional Mindset Coach | The Business Blast Podcast #578

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All right everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Business Blast podcast. I'm your host Tyler Wagner. Today I have Dr. Jen Faber with us. She is an unconventional mindset coach and author of The 90-Day Life: How to Live More in 3 Months Than You Have in 3 Years. Realizing that something in her life was missing, Dr. Jen sold her practice and everything she owned to live out of a suitcase. Dr. Jenn now coaches people to break past fear and stop putting life on hold. So welcome to the show.

Hey, Tyler, thanks so much for having me.

Of course, grateful to have you here. I'm excited for this episode. We'll jump into the first one, Dr. Jenn. The first one that I have for you is what is the best story from your life that has an underlying valuable message?

I love this as a question to kick this off because One of the experiences I had when I was in this 18-month period, I had sold everything I owned. I'm hopping around from location to location around the US. So I was fully digital, fully nomadic, sitting down having some drinks, and this woman comes up to me, we start chatting, and she asks, "Where are you from?" When you're nomadic, that's an interesting conversation, right? Because you can't really say, "I'm from here," because I haven't lived here for only, you know, a couple of weeks. So eventually I said, "Well, I live anywhere and everywhere I want." whenever I want. And she said, "You're so lucky." And when I heard her say that, I've had a lot of people say that to me during that nomadic period. "You're so lucky. You're so lucky." And at first I'd say, "Gosh, thanks. You know, I am. I'm really lucky. I'm so grateful I can travel and I can have this online business and I have all this freedom." And the more I answered it that way, the more I realized I'm doing these people a disservice and myself for my story and for the lessons I've learned. Because it really wasn't luck. It was a series of choices and it was a series of wake-up calls I had in my life. I had a lot of things going for me before I sold everything I owned. I had a really successful private practice. I had a waiting list of patients. It was stable, consistent. I had great recurring revenue. I had friends, I had a life, and yet I woke up and I wasn't really happy. I wasn't happy in the city I was living in. While I loved my patients, I wanted to be more entrepreneurial. I wanted to have more freedom. And Tyler, that, that turned into a string of decisions that were hard and they were scary. And I had to strip away everything that I knew. And while I was happy and still very proud to have doctor in front of my name, to not actively practice and let that go after all the time I spent building it, that's a big thing to detach from. So the biggest lesson I learned in that woman saying, "You're so lucky," is I said to her, "You know, I appreciate that, but I made a lot of decisions to get here." Life doesn't just happen, and we don't have to just get stuck in a life if it's not making us happy. We're always at power to choose and change our path anytime we want.

Definitely. Yeah. And I can't— well, I mean, I guess I can imagine with some decisions that I've made in my life as well. But when you have something so successful, maybe like financially, that is like a hard decision to make. It is.

And I think there's attachment, right? Like we can get so attached to things because we're these creatures of comfort. Even though as humans, what we actually really crave is novelty. We create new things, new stimuli, changes in directions. But yeah, we can get so attached to our past decisions and our current life. It's our degrees, our jobs, our stability, our routines, the people we surround ourselves by. Sometimes it's important to take a second and just look around at your life and ask yourself, what's really nourishing me? And am I really happy staying on this path for the next 5 years? If I am, awesome. And if I'm not, what do I need to change? And that's what I realized. I, I loved a lot of things and I was really unfulfilled in a lot of things too. So I think it's important to always have a moment of self-reflection to really make sure that you're on the path you want. If not, you need to course correct it.

Yes, agreed. Thank you so much for sharing that with us as well. The next one I have for you is what is the most valuable piece of information we should know that's within your expertise or industry?

The biggest thing I'll say is this: a lot of people that I work with are dealing with a disconnected life. They're typically burned out, overwhelmed, stressed, and they're trying to go after the biggest thing that so many people who are professionals go after, and that's success. Success isn't about what you achieve. I've recognized that. It's really about what nourishes your soul. And I'll tell you, being a coach now for almost a decade, I, at first, was driven by teaching people how to be more successful, how to be more lucrative, profitable, more productive beings, and how to go out there and crush it and maximize on their time and their money and their goals and just be these high-achieving machines. I think the challenge of what I found in putting a lot of pressure on myself as a business person, myself in my own life, and being a little more Type A perfectionist from my past, is that we live and breathe in a culture that defines success that the more you get done and the faster you get it done, the better and the more successful you'll be. I have grown through life and as I've grown through into how I coach and how I impact others by helping people redefine that success is about what nourishes your soul. If you're doing things that make you happy, if you're doing things that make you feel ecstatic, pleasure, novelty, rejuvenated, excited to get out of bed in the morning, you're on the right path. And if you're not, you need to change one of two or a combination of things: your perspective your circumstances, or both. But it all comes down to redefining that sex— success is really more about happiness and nourishing your soul than anything else.

Yes. And what's your— it could tie in, but what's your best piece of overall business advice, and not necessarily industry-specific?

Business advice would be set your standards before any opportunity comes to you. Set your standards. And communicate them. Because a lot of times what I'll see happening when it comes from a place of business is that a lot of times opportunities will come to us or we just get lost in doing things or doing things for other people or getting bombarded with all these different deadlines that we completely lose our sense of what our standards are. How do we want to operate in this world? How do we want to communicate in the world? And a recent example I had of that was I was in communication with a company that was interested in executive coaching and things just got kind of lost for several weeks playing email tag. And I realized I didn't set my standards up front of this is how I want us to communicate. This is what I think will be the most efficient. This is how we can keep the momentum going. The more you set your standards for yourself, for how you want to operate in your world and in your business, you'll actually cultivate better relationships, better opportunity, and better prosperity by doing that right out of the gate.

Yes, I could not agree more. I think that's such a big thing that like every entrepreneur, like it happens to everyone in the beginning because in the beginning you're just excited to like start a business and get clients and you don't even think about that. So yeah, I'm really glad you're sharing that because I think, you know, a lot of our listeners are, you know, some of them are far along, but some are just starting out. So if you can set your standards in the beginning, it will save you a ton of headaches.

Yes. And I say that also playing the entrepreneur who a lot of times is very like nice, nice people pleaser. I'm a very high energy person, but a lot of times that could also mean a really down to earth and super chill person too. And what I found is like, then I just get walked all over or things get delayed or things get put off, or I'm not charging as much as I deserve. So when you set your standards, it's not just about how you run your business, but you realize that your business reflects your connection and value to yourself and your life. And when you see how that's really synergistic, that's actually when the business momentum starts to happen.

Mm-hmm. And then if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would that be?

I would say follow your heart. More than follow what's expected. And I'll give you a brief story to illustrate what I mean. When I graduated and I got my doctorate in chiropractic, I spent 6 months looking around for a place in the mountains where I could work in a practice. 6 months of nos or no responses, and I probably didn't set my standards at the time like I should have. I wasn't following my heart. I was following what was expected. So rather than follow my heart and say, you want to live out in the mountains, trust your gut and go and you'll figure it out, I started looking at other parts of the US, larger cities, more along the East Coast, not really where I thrive, but I instantly found a job and that brought me to the East Coast for the next 10 years of my life. Now, a lot of happiness came to me by doing that, but what I also recognized, I was expected to get a job. It was expected of me and my own self-expectations, but right, you get your degree, you gotta get your job. That I had to find this job. I had to start making this money and I was putting all this pressure on myself. And that actually became a higher priority more than the lifestyle. If I followed my heart, Tyler, I would've gone to the mountains. I probably would've become a ski instructor, a bartender, and then figured out along the way, where is the practice opportunity gonna come? And realize that it's all gonna happen when it's supposed to. So that I think is really, really important that we just need to remember along the way, like, very easy to stay on a path that we feel is laid out for us based on what society expects or what our past has dictated. But you have to always follow your heart. And that could change on a moment-by-moment basis, but you have to listen to it.

Yeah. So I'd like to actually dive a little bit deeper there. So for that, like, because people ask me, like, how do you find your passion and things of that nature? And what I tell them, because this is what I experienced, is really just by, like, trying everything. Like, for me, I dropped out of school because I realized that I would never do well in a corporate environment because I'm not a suit and tie type of guy. By testing that out and joining, I was actually in a business fraternity, things like that, I realized, okay, that doesn't feel right. And then after school, started some companies. In the beginning, a few failed and then some started to succeed. And then this podcast, which I started about 6 months ago, this feels incredible. Like the only way I know how to like tell people to get in tune with like following or feeling into what your heart wants is by just trial and error. So I'm just curious, do you have any other like tips or like what did you experience? Like how did you follow?

Yeah, absolutely. Well, I love it because what you just said really tackles the present. I like to look at it from looking at the other ends of our life, our past and our future. So the first thing I would say to your listeners is this, is reflect back on your past and ask yourself, What were moments in my life that I experienced pure joy? What was I doing? More importantly, who was I being? And think about what are the different qualities that really made you feel alive and ecstatic and you, right? Just most authentically you. And start there, and then I'll give you part 2 in a second. But prior to doing my massive job search and getting a bunch of nos in the West Coast of the US, Prior to that, I did my internship in New Zealand, and it's one of the periods where I felt the most alive and the most free and the most like Jen. I love the way of life there. I love the surroundings. I love the people, and I wanted to recreate that in the States. But I didn't follow my heart. I didn't follow that period from my past where I felt a lot of joy because I had to follow this path of just get the job. So I would first look back to your past and go back to something you can relate to because for people, it may be like, well, I don't know. I mean, maybe they realize I've been I've been stuck in a rut for a long time, or I don't know, isn't this kind of what life is? Aren't I supposed to just wait until I vacation or retirement until Friday to do what I want to do? You have to connect with something that you know, and what you know is you from your past. And, we've all had moments in our life where we just felt on and alive. So, I would start there. The second thing that I would do is then ask yourself, what am I putting off? What am I putting off because there's time? What am I putting off because I don't feel like I can? I don't have enough money. I don't have the right skills. It's not the right time. I'm not the right age. I'm too old. I'm too young. I'm too fat. I'm too thin. Whatever excuses go into your head. And ask yourself, what am I putting off? Because inside each of us is also something we are inherently putting off because we think we have the time. For me, it was travel. I am the explorer archetype to a tee. I love to travel. I love to explore. I'm a restless, free-spirited creature that has massive wanderlust. And I kept putting off travel because I wanted to have the stability of my practice and the stability of my money. And it shut my brain off, not allowing me to see that I could have an online business. What are other entrepreneurs doing? What other knowledge could I share with the world? So if you look to what you're putting off into the future and connect that with the qualities of who you were from times you were happy in your past, your brain will start to unlock. And rather than stay stuck on a path and say, I can't, or I need to wait, you'll start to ask yourself, how can I? How can I do this differently? How can I make this happen? So those are the two biggest things I would say to look at.

Yeah, that was an incredible answer. That's you. That helped me out too. Thank you for that. Mic drop. Boom. Yeah, yeah, that is a mic drop right there. Yeah, that was good. Well, hey, well, so that was awesome. And I'm excited for your answer on this next one because I think it leads in pretty well. So in your opinion, and then what is the key to happiness?

Yeah, it's a great lead-in. I would say it's all about living with impermanence. And here's what I mean. People will typically wait for a golden opportunity in the future to do something that they want to do. But if you actually choose to use the clock to your advantage and start to act now, like the clock is ticking because it is, you'll start to act with a more positive urgency to act on the things that you've been too afraid to try or too buried in excuses to try. And I've really learned that lesson Tyler Wagner Wagner when I was 100% nomadic and I'm living in one location for 2 weeks and then I'm packing up my stuff and going to another location for 6. And I realized I have these teeny tiny little windows of time to experience Boulder or San Diego or other parts of the country. And when I was living in that mindset, I recognized, okay, what are all the things that I want to do in this place, in this location to experience the culture, the people, the surroundings, and the activities. And I found myself being exquisitely mindful of how I spent my time and leaving a place after 6 weeks feeling really fulfilled. Well, then once I got a home base, when I'm now not nomadic, I realized that's how I need to live my life. It's what inspired my book and it's what inspired how I coach now. We have an opportunity to choose to act like today really is our last. And that sounds cliché for a reason because it could be. If you actually live into that from a very positive urgent place, you'll recognize how much more you can just try and try to do and accomplish and just go for it. Just see what happens. You'll become more of the risk taker that becomes more afraid of not, "Am I going to fail?" but more afraid of not trying. And that's where you find your inner power. Choose to live with positive urgency. Choose to live with impermanence and time will work in your favor.

Yeah. And what is the best book that you've read and what was the number one thing you learned from that?

It's actually a book I read recently and I will confess I'm still going through it. It's The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. And this book came into my life at the time when I really needed it because her book is all about how to create goals with soul. And that's the number one thing I've really gained from this book is that for so many people and for myself included, a lot of my goals were based on what do I want to what I want to accomplish, what do I want to make, what I want to get done in a different day, week, quarter, and year. And then I've just found myself being constantly bombarded and either overwhelmed, stressed, or bored by these lists in front of me and not inspired. And this book really helps you connect with what makes you connect to you as you and what are those qualities, what are those emotions that you want to feel. So rather than being so focused on just getting a bunch of stuff done, I found myself asking, how am I feeling while I'm doing this? Am I enjoying this? Am I thriving while I'm doing this? Am I sharing the best of me with the world? And that's been a really great book to really just get re-centered on myself and what I want my output to be as an entrepreneur.

And what is your favorite quote and why?

My favorite quote is by Lao Tzu, and it says, if you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

I love that quote. Thank you so much again for coming on. The last one I have for you before we let you go, Dr. Jenn, is where's the best place for people to find you online?

Super simple. You can go to my website, drjennfaber.com. I got awesome free resources. There's a link to my book if you'd like to get the copy of The 90-Day Life and some free bonuses. If you want to get social with me, the best two ways to get it is LinkedIn if you're more on the professional side, but Instagram is also my jam and just search for Dr. Jenn Faber under either and you can find me there.

Perfect. Thanks again for hopping on.

Awesome, Tyler. It's my pleasure. Thanks so much for having me.

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