Elena Cardone: The Story Of Elena Cardone | The Tyler Wagner Show #1030

Alright everyone, welcome back to another episode. Today we have Elena Cardone, the best-selling author of Build an Empire: How to Have It All. So welcome to the show.

Thank you.

Yes, and thanks for having me. So it's my show, but we're in her domain, so appreciate it. So it'll get brighter, but I want to start out— I did read your whole book, love your book.

We're going to the dark side?

Yeah, I want to start out a little dark. That's where I'm leaning. There was a pivotal point early on in your life where I think it was one of your best friends that died and the house like burned. So, and then you say something in your book along the lines of after that you like guarded or like sealed your heart. So what were you like before? And then how would you say you changed dramatically after that experience?

Well, before I just felt like I had this innocence of childhood freedom, carefree. Um, I've always been an affectionate, loving person. Um, after that situation, I mean, it was just— I, it was like a pain I've never even felt since then. I mean, my father passed away, he was 90. It was very painful for me, but, but I was ready for that. I was mature. It was time. I could logically cope with that. So this particular time, at that particular age, it was just something I could not confront. So after that, that pain, I don't know, it just meant don't let anyone in. It didn't mean— so that equaled men as well. Even though she was a she, it just was like, don't ever let your heart or be exposed to that much pain again. Because I just, I really had a very difficult time dealing with that.

Got it. And then I do want to get to like how you did end up dealing with it, but in a little bit. So I want to brighten things up a little bit now. You tell a story you were really attracted to this guy with a mohawk when you were younger.

And he's so gross now.

Oh really?

Oh my God.

Oh, I'm so sorry, mohawk guy.

I know, I know. I almost slipped and said his name. I was like, oh my God, what happened? You used to be so cute.

Oh boy.

Anyway, go ahead.

So one of the stories you tell is when you were running on top of cars for like blocks. So can you—

Exhausting.

Yeah, I just want to like hear— I listened to the audiobook, so I did hear you tell it, but maybe there's some more details in there.

No, I was on ecstasy at that time.

Oh, see, I didn't know that.

Oh, I didn't say that in the book? Okay.

You said you did ecstasy, but not before the cars.

I was on ecstasy at that particular moment in time. And you know, when you take, I don't know, I don't know a whole lot about a whole lot of other drugs, but the hallucinogenics like acid and X, like I could consume copious amounts of alcohol and not feel drunk. I would still just feel the drug. So there was a lot of drinking involved, but I was on X and it was about New Year's Eve. And so, you know, I was dared and I always took a dare and I always have competed. I compete with everything, but especially guys, cuz it's just fun to compete with guys. And so yeah, New Year's Eve, we just had this bright idea because every— in the French Quarter, you literally park bumper to bumper to bumper on, on, um, that street. Yeah. Um, And so yeah, we just raced each other. And so we ran up and over and then jumped and ran up and over for like the equivalent of a block. And I was gasping for air. And then I fell on the last like car and like really hurt my hip, which is— which that could be the cause of this injury that I'm having right now, actually. And yeah, I just remember thinking, you know, because you know, your mind's different. I just remember thinking, wow, that is not what it looks like How it feels and how it looks in the movies are two different things.

Totally.

And so good workout, but incredible workout, but I wasn't in shape and I didn't pull it off perfectly. You know, it didn't look fabulous because I had the fall.

Yeah. You know, was there any repercussions like legally or did you like— oh, okay. It was just like a fun little— okay, I got you.

Like, no, no one even— I mean, you know, in New Orleans it wasn't even odd. Yeah, that's just not even—

that's the feeling I got from your book.

Like In New Orleans, it's really like a Fellini film. It's just very bizarre. Anything goes. You could see something like that and it's just normal. No one thinks anything of it. It's just very bizarre like that. That's just normal. That is normal.

That's amazing actually to just see a girl like running on your own car and just be like, ah, that's just a Tuesday.

I know, it's just, oh, there it goes.

So for all the people out there that are not maybe doing so well financially, another thing you talk about in your book, is that you were a master of shoplifting. So I think this could be helpful for people that don't, you know, that need to steal right now. So I was curious of your strategy of how you—

For real? You want— I didn't say this in the book.

No, you don't give the strategy. You just said you were good at it.

I am good at it. Well, I used to— back in the day, I was, you know, like punk rock.

And yeah.

And so we used to wear cowboy boots or marching boots because in New Orleans they have these marching bands. You know, from Mardi Gras. And so they were white boots that have these little tac tac tac tac tacs on them. So I used to wear those or cowboy boots. But the trick is you wear cowboy boots. So like, let's say you go into the dressing room with 4 items and one's hiding, so but it's really 5 items, right? So you go into the dressing room, well, you come back out with your 4, but with the 5th you've shoved it into your boot or, you know, on each side or whatever. And in my case, back in the day, we used to wear a lot of Spandex, like zebra-colored Spandex pants with little skirts and cropped little shirts and, you know, we— whatever. I was a teenager. So yeah, I would steal that kind of stuff and no one would ever know. And I even knew how to take those little things off back in the day.

Those things?

No way. They didn't have the ink stuff back then. That's new now. But yeah, I could take those things off easy. No problem.

Got it. Okay. That's awesome. So, and then obviously I want to talk about like your business and where you currently are, but I think it's important to see like where you were and how far you've come. So last story of like your childhood is the mushroom story. I thought that was so cool.

Oh wait, back to the stealing part.

Okay.

This is very important. You always buy something when you steal something. So even though my boots would be loaded with like shirts, tank tops, and spandex pants, but I always bought something. So I just felt like that would throw off the suspicion.

That makes a lot of sense. And it's kind of like you're giving a little and you're taking a little.

Yeah, yeah, right.

This is fair.

Because I had the mentality back when I was punk rock that You know, I didn't like rich people, you know. And so our concept was like steal from the rich, give to the poor. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we were, you know, agnostic. We were anarchist, you know what I'm saying? So, so it made perfect sense to me back then.

I feel like that's pretty common, actually, like, and actually kind of what's going on in today's world a little bit where, like, once you start to make money, then you like completely flip that. But before and what they're teaching in college is exactly Yeah, that's a whole nother thing.

That's a whole other thing. Yeah, I've evolved since then. Okay, now I don't steal anything.

Yeah, yeah.

I had a situation, I was in Japan, I was modeling there at the time, um, I was 18, and, um, and I stole. I stole in Japan. I would steal, you know, fruit in Japan. It's like $5 an apple, and this is back in '91, '92, so it's expensive. So I would steal all these little fruits and whatever from the grocery store. And one day I went out and I had this leather jacket that I had had flames drawn all up on the arms, you know.

Yeah.

And someone stole the jacket. It was this black leather jacket and I was dying because it was my favorite black leather jacket. I mean, this jacket had been everywhere with me, you know, French Quarter, okay, slam dancing, stage diving, and So I had heard that in Japan, and it's really true, in Japan they're very ethical people. Like, no one steals in Japan. Like, everyone, at least that's how it was back then in '92. I mean, super safe. I mean, so ethical. So the fact that my jacket got stolen was just bizarre in the first place. But the owner of the bar, and I was praying, I prayed, I was like, please God, give me my jacket back. And the owner brought a whole bottle of like Midori. For some reason, Midori was a valuable item, I guess. So brought a bottle of Midori to a bar down the street because it was actually stolen by these mafia, these Japanese mafia type. So the owner said, gave him a bottle of Midori so that I could get my jacket back. And it worked, and he gave me my jacket back. And I said, oh my God, this man gave something so me, the thief, could get my jacket back. And that day forward, I have never stolen anything in my entire life.

Yeah, no, that—

like, I make it go right, you know what I mean? Like, even if someone mispays me the right, I'm— I'm— I actually make sure I pay the right amount back. And since then, I have lost Chanel purses, they always come back to me. I've lost wallets in the parking lot of the Renaissance Festival, it got mailed back to me with everything. I mean, I just have really good karma in that area now because I'm so clean in that area. That's what I think.

Yeah, well, I think a lot of things, well, everything is like an energy or like frequency. So you're putting that out now. So that stuff just like comes back to you.

Yeah, it just does. Like when I lose stuff, I don't really panic 'cause I'm like, oh yeah, it's coming back for sure.

Got it, yeah. No, that makes a lot of sense. And before, I'm sure, like when you were, then it was the opposite. Yeah, right, right, right. So yeah, I do wanna hear about the shroom story.

Yeah, you wanna hear the shroom story?

I do because to me, I've done mushrooms. They're pretty fun. And—

I don't endorse any drug, by the way. I haven't done a drug since December 31st, 1999. I'm not an advocate, but okay, good. So my dad and I used to go shoot shotguns, and so it would be out kind of like in farmland, obviously not in the middle of New Orleans, it's a city, right? So we were driving past some cow pastures. It was like late in the afternoon or early in the morning, I can't remember, but that's the time the shrooms grow, either early in the morning or late afternoon. And you know they grow out of cow poo, of course, you know that, right? And so anyway, I tell my dad, pull over, I need to collect some mushrooms for a science project. So I had my dad and I climbing under barbed wire fence onto private property of somebody, and we kicked over— I told him how to do it. We kick over these cow patties, and there's two types of mushrooms that grow. The one that you have done, which is it goes like this and it has like a little bulb, a little bulb and a little purple ring underneath. But then they have another kind that's a flat kind of a white mushroom that grows like that. That's the poisonous, dangerous kind. They will not— they get you sick, not hallucinate.

Yeah.

So we, we picked like 2 bags, gallon bags of these mushrooms for my science project. Well, well, I decided it would be a great idea, um, to chop all the mushrooms up, which we did, little fine, like super, super, super fine pieces. And I made all these gallon jugs of Lipton tea, you know, Lipton sweetened tea. I'm from the South. Oh yeah, that's sweetened tea. But then I added in this big batch that I made, I added a pound of sugar. Okay, so then I had this batch, and then I filled up— I had my little funnel, and I filled up like these gallon jugs of this mushroom tea. And then I went to the French Quarter and like, you know, punk rock, you know, with the mohawks and like, you know, like we— everyone just drinks out of every— no one cares.

Yeah, there's no law there, right? Open container. Oh yeah, you can just have a handle.

Oh yeah, yeah, you leave one bar with your drink and walk into the next bar with your drink. Like, you drink on the streets there. So I mean, this was— that wasn't even an issue. But the thing is, is we were all so shroomin' and people were taking the big things. And I mean, there'd be tourists walking in the street and we'd hand them the drug and they'd drink the drug. So everyone, like, I felt like everyone in the French Quarter that night was on shrooms, which was— talk about a Fellini film. It's just bizarre. Like, you can't even make this stuff up of what you actually see because New Orleans is crazy.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. I've only been there a couple of times, but it's nuts.

The people are nuts. You will come across some characters, that's for sure.

That is one of the best stories. So I just wanted you to share it because when I was listening to the audiobook, I was like, I've done them, but I've never, like, dosed others. So I was like, this is sweet.

This is so horrible. No, this is good. I mean, horrible. Oh my God. You see, now I'm on a karmic journey. I'm on a spiritual journey to make a difference for the better, to like amend myself, you know?

And I'm sure everybody had fun that night. So I mean, you know, but you know, drugs, they come with them. They come true.

They come with you. You have the key out, the exciting part, but then you also have the key in where you pull in darkness. Yeah, I know there's a, you know, it's dark. Definitely.

Yeah. And you actually, you talk about that in your book as well. But, um, so, so it's like after your friend died, it seems that's when— is that kind of when the drugs— okay. So then from there though, what was the first Hollywood— because I think that was your first career in Hollywood and then you moved to LA, right? I think it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I did my first Sprite— I did my first job ever in New Orleans.

Oh, it was in New Orleans.

I earned $7,000.

Oh, nice.

A lot of money.

Yo, and then too, that was like a lot of money, right?

And so I went to LA, I bought myself a Toyota Tercel, a white Toyota Tercel. I had no air conditioning and no radio. My back would be sweating when I'd show up to, um, an audition or a go-see for an, uh, for modeling and stuff. But yeah, I bought that. Yeah, so go ahead.

What, what was your like, uh, overall take on that industry? And then when did you start to transition out of it?

Well, there's good and bad, right? So the good part about the industry is Well, I love how creative it is. I love when you go on a set, there's a sense of family and you really feel close to people. I love that it gave me a toughness that I don't think I would have had I not been in that industry. Sort of a really thick skin. And it puts you in a situation where you have to be courageous. Like You know, going in and auditioning in front of a network at NBC and 40 heads of studios and producers, I mean, it's nerve-wracking, you know what I'm saying? I mean, and doing that over and over and over again, and then you get the job, and then there's lights, camera, action. There's marks that you have to hit, and you're supposed to— it's just, it's like, whoa, like you have to rise up to the occasion. It's difficult. So I love that part of it because it's It's just made me a stronger, tougher person. The part that I don't like about it is all the vampires in that space. You know, the people that just like suck. Yeah. They literally suck. You know, the people that have intentions to hold you back. I've seen that a lot, you know, where people are made to be small and degraded and, you know, just so they could be— have the upper hand. And then I don't like that I always felt that it was very cliquey. Like, if I was really successful, then it was okay, I was cool enough to hang out with a certain group. But if I got too successful, then I wasn't cool anymore. And then, you know, so you never kind of fit in no matter where you're at.

Yeah, you know, I think that's one of the biggest things that hold people back is like, I don't know if it's jealousy or like wanting others to not succeed. That I think makes yourself also not succeed. Whereas if you're happy for others when they're crushing it, then maybe it's that karmic thing where it like comes back to you. So I don't know. I think that's what holds a lot of people back.

Yeah.

But so then what was your favorite gig? And then I have this image in my mind. I could be completely wrong, but I used to be a big fan of Saved by the Bell. Did you ever make an appearance on that show?

I did.

I thought so.

The College Years. Okay, The College Years. I was in the pilot episode.

I thought you were in one. Okay, I'm so glad to hear that.

Okay, and the producers of that, uh, Peter Engel was the one who cast me as the lead in USA High.

Okay.

Yeah.

And was that like— so your favorite gig, was it USA High or something? No, sure you had a lot.

Well, you know, I was a tormented actor. I was a tormented actor, so I never liked anything that I did. You know, I just, I was very horrible to myself mentally.

Yeah.

Yeah. I've since become and learned how to be a friend to myself, but I wish I would have had that back then because then I would have really enjoyed it more. So even though I went to all these places and worked with incredible people, I always felt like I wasn't good enough. I didn't do good enough. I hated it. I could never watch myself. Like I would just like, you know, just like beat myself down so much. But USA High was a good memory because I worked for 3 years. I had a consistent paycheck, you know, it was a nice kind of family vibe. But, you know, with family comes problems too.

Yeah, for sure.

You know, personalities involved, you know. But I bought a house during USA High. I bought a house. I had all these hot rods. I had a hot rod collection. So, um, so it was, it was good times because I would work all week as an actress and on the weekend I in the shop with the guys learning how to build hot rods, and that was cool.

And then, so then from there Grant enters, right? So somewhere along that path. So can you tell the story of how you and Grant met? Because I thought that was really cool.

We met on a commercial shoot in downtown Los Angeles. It was at night. He knew the director. He came— it was a night shoot, um, and so he came on and I didn't think anything of him at all. Just thought he was some guy, you know? And then I leave from that shoot and he calls me, got my number from the director. Director's not supposed to give out the number of anyone on the call sheet, but he gave my number out. And Grant calls me, we have this phone call. And look, I had been in LA since I was 17. Now I'm mid to late 20s. And I'm from New Orleans, so I mean, I know I'm naive, but I'm not that naive. I'm a little street smarter than I actually look today. And he gives me this call and he's like, yeah, you know, people around me, they tend to do better when they hang out with me. And I just thought, oh my God, like, I've never heard a line this bad in my life. And he's like, so get a piece of pen and paper and write down, blah blah blah. I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And I just hung up the phone and I thought, this guy is like, he's this some rich guy that thinks he can buy women and he's so arrogant and, and he's not even my type and he's short. Like, forget it. I'm never like, this is, this is, I'm never talking to this guy again.

Mm-hmm.

And then he would call and leave a message on my answering machine twice a month, every month for the next 13 months. And I never called him back because why would I?

Wait, 13 months? That's what you said?

13 months.

Oh wow, okay.

2 times every month for 13 months he'd leave a message on my answer machine, but I never got scared. It wasn't like he was a stalker or anything. I wasn't scared. It was just like one of the many guys because I was in my 20s, you know, back then. So I never really thought anything of it. And then finally he left a message because he found out from one of my friends that I used to shoot shotguns. I used to compete back then. So he said, oh, you know, I've rented the whole shooting range, da da da da da, and it's expensive to shoot. Like how I shoot, it's expensive to shoot. So I was like, oh, he wants to play that game. Well, I'll use him. I'm just gonna be honest. I was like, I'll use him for— he can pay for the show, and then I'll be done with it. He wants to play that game. All right. But obviously the joke was on me because I went And I saw that he was, you know, a terrible shot, but he was cool. He was cool. He wasn't as bad as I thought, you know, and I was like, but there was still no liking him. Okay, but at least it just kind of made him tolerable in my space. Okay, and so the same friend that he found that out about me is then she started bringing him out. And back then I was doing all the clubs all the time and going out, 20s you know, whatever. And so he would show up and I was like, oh, he's not so bad, like he can hang. And then we became friends. And anyway, the rest is history. We became friends and then like I knew he liked me, but he never tried to like be with me because I hate when guys do that when you don't like them. It just puts you in a really awkward situation. And then most guys, after they hang out with you, even though you make it clear that you just want to be friends and you're friends and you're friends and they let you think that they're cool with that, most guys at some point get mad at you for not liking them and cut you off and do this thing. So I've been down this road before, okay? And I was like, okay, this is— we're going down this road. But he never did that. And then I was like, oh wow, you know, kind of started to like him, which really freaked me out, you know? And then I was like, okay, then I got scared, so I tried all my little tactics to get him to like leave, go away, like you can't hang with me, right? But no, he met every single challenge, which was weird because no other guy could do that. And he seemed to be able to see through me and know all my tricks. And I just felt like he played chess equally or maybe even better than me, which really freaked me out because I finally felt like I met my match.

Got it.

You know what I mean? And his persistence in just knowing that I'm a super freak, that I am really weird, especially back then I had issues and just I just— he didn't try to stop me, control me. He understood me. And, you know, he was just like a rock where I really felt for the first time, I'm not getting away from this guy, and maybe I can open up just a little bit and let me see what that's gonna be like. And every time I did, it was just safer and safer and just more real and more protected. And, you know, like, it was just something that I had never either allowed myself to experience or no other guy actually got me. And I remember one time he said to me, he said, you know that monster inside of you that you think is so big, you know, it's like, it's, it's about, it's really about that big. And, and I was just like, it like hit me. I was like, how does he know me so well? Like, I just felt like he knew my crazy. You know what I mean? And he was okay with that.

So, so would you say that he, like, it was, it was obviously a combination, but he kind of like opened your heart back up again? Because earlier in the book you say like it seals off.

Oh, totally.

Yeah. So that was like the—

yeah, the only one. And, and it was, it just became more real because it's so uncomfortable talking like this, but you know, there it just became at some point I was like, this is not about the poo nanny anymore. Like, because, because a guy would have dropped off at that point.

Do you know what I'm saying?

I was like, what is it? Like, I don't even know. No. And then, you know, there was more. Then there was all the challenges and you know what I'm saying? Like all the other tests and everything else. And he just, so I felt like, wow. Like I just couldn't even understand why he was interested in me. Like I didn't even, like, I just felt like it was more than just that. Like, wow. He's like really serious for some weird reason. 'Cause I wasn't even as cool as I am now. I was cooler in a different way, but not now. Now I feel like, wow, like now I could see, ego aside, but I could see why a man would want to be with me now because of what I can bring to the table.

So did you kind of feel like maybe he thought more highly of you than you did yourself at the time? Is that a little, like you were, 'cause you kind of said that you were like surprised.

Yes, in the relationship department.

In the relationship department.

Because in the relationship department, I wasn't willing to give anything, you know what I'm saying? I wasn't, you know, like, I mean, I kind of knew at that time I was somewhat— even though I was like a basher and an invalidation person of myself, I also knew on the flip side of that I was somewhat badass. I knew I wasn't like a normal chick because I, I had hot rods, I know how to work on hot rods, I shot shotguns, like, do you know what I'm saying? So I knew I wasn't— I knew I had my New Orleans background and upbringing and like all that punk rock, hardcore, like just different. I'm not like a girl.

Yeah, like a girly girl.

Yeah, like, like guys can relate to me because I, I think I, for a long time, I think more like a guy than a girl.

Yeah, you seem like you'd be fun to hang out with, I'd say.

Honestly, now I understand and appreciate women like never before. Like now I'm like, oh my God, I need to be around women because now I feel like women I understand women now. Like, I get it. And now I really appreciate when they get me. And now, like, I'm doing this whole other thing. So now it's just like, it's just come full circle where I can really—

The 10x Ladies?

Yeah, the 10x Ladies that built— like, I just love my woman community. Like, it's so amazing that I didn't have that my whole life and now I do. It's incredible.

Yeah, it seems to me that from reading your book, the two biggest themes I got was being supportive and the ability to adapt. That seemed to be like the two themes that like ran through the book for me. That's, that's why I mostly got it.

Yeah.

So, um, how did you and Grant build your first, uh, wealth? And then I know like 2008 things kind of took a dump, which for everybody that kind of occurred. But, um, how did that look like your first time building it? And then I want to get to the obviously the next time you had to build it.

Well, let me just clarify, like when I married Grant, I mean, that was more money than I had ever seen or been around, you know, because the guys that I had dated before that just didn't have money or anything. So he was already a millionaire, multimillionaire, you know, maybe in the 10-ish range. When I married and met him, I had no wealth to bring to the table. My show had ended, like I gave my house, to my ex-boyfriend, just with the promise.

Oh yeah, I remember that.

Yeah, I think he's still in that house too.

But anyway, good gift then.

You like it, right? Um, but that's it. He stayed there and I moved on. But, um, so, so Grant had really kind of the money. I was still working as an actress, but here, you know, like normal money, normal people money. Um, so he had that. And then 2000— so we did— so my point is, is I didn't help him build that. He already had that. And then we were married for like 4 years, 5 years when 2008 happened. So we were really comfortable, um, we thought we were great. And then the economy collapsed, and then we were under lawsuits, and I was pregnant with our first child. And so that I wasn't bringing in any money at that time. And so that's when I had to really look at Wow, what am I doing? How do I— how do we not die? How do we survive this moment? How do we not lose it all? That's when I made the decision because I've always been a visionary. I've always been kind of an architect, but Grant's the hammer. He's the one that can do it. I don't know how to— I'm learning how to do it now because I'm doing it now for my first time. And so I feel like I'm light years ahead of everybody else who are doing it for their first time. Because I've been around Grant for 18 years and he's been my mentor. I call him sensei. Yeah, you know, in that area, not all areas, but in that area he's sensei. But so at that time I had this vision. I was like, well, I'm willing— am I willing to trade in my acting career in order to trade up to this idea of this vision that I had, which was like an empire? And what would it look like? And if I could bring all of my assets behind him to support support him, which I'm glad you noticed that because that is my superhero power. I didn't know that, but I am like super awesome at support. Like, I know how to do mindset, infrastructure, and support. Support: show active interest in the success of. I do that very well. Support: bear the weight of. So I mean, if I'm bearing the weight of Grant and his world, how much stronger do I have to be to bear the weight of the thing that I'm bearing the weight of? So I take that with pride. A lot of people don't like being in the support role because they think it's second best or whatever. I don't see it that way. I see it as maybe the most important element because it's the foundation of everything else. So I was like, wow, you know, and I was an actress. I'm used to being, you know, in the limelight and the star. So I had to look like at a bunch of different things, and then I had to look at, you know, all the imaginary women voices in my head that was like, oh, if you go support your man, then you're a sellout, you're some servient woman, like you're, you know, then he's just gonna leave you for a hotter woman later anyway. So I had all these things that I had to like work through in my head, and that's when I finally came up and was— thought through it, and I said, well, I have to live my life for me, not all these imaginary women who are gonna hate me and like want to kill me. And, and then I also looked at it, what's the— what's the worst-case scenario? He leaves me. Well, I I look humiliated. I felt like I've done that to myself my whole life. I'm okay with that. It's painful, but I can get through it. And then I just looked at like, I'm never going to be a victim no matter what happens to me, no matter like if you murder me, I'm not a victim. I'm still going into the next life a warrior. You just killed my body. You didn't kill my spirit.

I love that. Yeah.

So I feel, I felt like nothing, there is no worst case scenario. So anyway, I put the chips all in on him. It was my first entrepreneurial move. You know, betting on somebody. And I just figured out, how can I get behind him where I can put all of my strengths behind him so that he could build this thing up and that we could eventually have this life? And there was no losing it from that point. So, you know, we didn't— we didn't— because I didn't build it from him in the beginning. In the beginning, the first 4 years of my marriage, I was still vying for this male-female role position. So we were kind of doing our own thing, coming home and kind of tearing each other apart. Because I, you know, had issues. Because I was like trying to be this, you know, you can't control me, I can never depend on a man kind of woman, you know, hear me roar. And so that's, I don't think we created our wealth in those first 4 years. I feel like I'm behind 4 or 5 years. I feel like had I done what I had done from 2008 to now, back then, we'd probably already be at our $10 billion mark. But we're just at our $1 billion mark.

Got it. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

You know, because I understand avalanche theory too. That's another thing that people need to understand when they're starting up. Like sometimes things take a long time to get going. Like, and I know these are numbers and I don't want it to sound like I'm bragging, but it's just being transparent.

Yeah.

The first $100 million for us was very hard and it took a long time. The second $100 was like super easy. I mean, not easier, a much easier, much faster. I mean, we made $100 million in one deal, like, on this portfolio that we had. And I was just like, oh my God, because there becomes a time when the momentum and the strength and, and it just snowballs and it becomes easier and easier and easier. So anyway, we didn't lose it after that point, but it just took us about 10 to 12 years before we could— we really got the momentum really working. Working. But we really know how to— to— we got really clear how the wealth happened. We got really clear on who we are as a couple, what we stand for, what the purpose is, the goals. How do we delegate the roles based on strengths and weaknesses, not on male/female? He gets to be the boss of the areas that we agree he knows more than me, and those are his strengths. I get to be the boss of these areas So I'm no longer fighting him for this because he makes all those executive decisions. We agreed on that. Whether I like it or not, I have to stand behind those decisions and I give him advice or, you know, however I can help. At the end of the day, he's the boss. Like in this roof where we're Cardone Enterprises, Grant is the boss. Grant knows about everything— sales, follow-up. I mean, I mean, I just can't do that. He's the boss here. He makes the business decisions because he's a trusted terminal and I know that he's not gonna mess up. My job is, as I— when you come to my house, everything under our household is run by me. He doesn't get to bypass me because I make all those decisions. You see what I mean? So we each get to be the boss of the— of our worlds. Yeah. And we work together. So, so if I'm creating a distraction-free environment at home which just so happens— I know it does seem more like a female role, but it just happens to be where it— that's my strong suit. I mean, it's just, it's just the way it worked out, right? But my role is to provide a distraction-free— I mean, he didn't tell me this, this is just my create in the role— I want to create a distraction-free environment so he's not worried about his wife, he's not worried about his kids. Like, we're running on like the top of our game so that when he's making decisions on $100, $200, now a billion-dollar deal that we're working on now, biggest one ever, that he's not having— being distracted or pulled or whatever, so that he can make it and not make mistakes. Because I depend on him, the kids depend on him, the staff depends on him, the investors depend on him. So I need to make him protected in a safe environment. So I think security and and, and who comes in and who comes out and who gets to be friends with him and interact with him, whether he knows it directly or not, he knows that that is all me. And I control— I don't control, but I have all my people in place where if I need to eliminate somebody, I can go to this person and say, make them disappear, they can't come in anymore. And they're not going to go tell Grant, oh, Elena said— they just do it, do you know what I'm saying? Because we all need to protect the crown jewel so that he can be the best that he can be so that we can all reach the heightened level of success, so we can be the couple that we want, so we can hit our targets and goals. Because when you hit your targets and goals, that's what love is, right? That's the greatest act of love that I can give somebody, is to help them achieve their goals and their dreams, and vice versa.

Yeah.

So the more that he wins and the more that he's doing that, the more he's in love with me, less likely he's going to leave me for another one. But also the same thing, right? The same thing that when he helps me achieve my goals and my dreams, that's when I fall in love with him even more. And that's when we become stronger and more fortified. And the more victories that we have, the more we fall in love and we continue to create on the marriage. It's not just like, oh, this honeymoon thing. I mean, you know, yeah, that's— that's not life for us. Like, it's a create.

Yeah, I think you guys are very clear with each other, like clear communication, maybe over-communication, which I think is—

no, I don't think we have over-communication. There are things on —action item list that I want to talk to Grant about that's been on here for weeks and I'm trying to find the right time when he's not distracted or when it's going to be a yes, yeah, no. I would not say all of them. But you're right, we do have a very good understanding of the goals and the mission. We want to win the Super Bowl game of life.

Yeah, and I think what most people don't realize actually, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that you actually had the idea of Cardone Capital. And it came from some deal that like didn't go so well. That's right. And so that's accurate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, think about, you know, that's worth a lot. Yeah, it's pretty huge.

It's interesting because it's like, how do you, how do you quantify that? Because yeah, I have an idea, Grant makes it happen. Yeah, together it's like a catch-22. It's like, well, what's the value? Like Cardone Ventures. Like that whole thing happened because Brandon's wife Natalie found me, turned Brandon on to Grant's material, showed up front row at the Diamond in, um, to 10X Growth Con, gets on our radar. Natalie and I kind of get together, push the guys together. Now we have Cardone Ventures, which is going to be a billion-dollar company in and of itself. Do you know what I'm saying? So there's a lot of the behind the scenes things that I've kind of pushed together and kind of made things sort of happen, but then he does it. So we're, you know, it's hard to quantify what, well, what did you do?

Do you know what I'm saying? Exactly. Yeah. And well, and the feeling I got, and again, correct me if I'm wrong, is in the book, I almost now after having read that book, I view you guys almost as one. Totally. Is that right? Yeah.

I mean, we're definitely on the same team. You know, we're definitely like, we work very well together.

Yeah. Yeah. You guys got both sides of the puzzle. Yeah. So another thing, which is kind of funny to bring up, but I did want to ask you. So you said a distraction-free environment in the house, and I would say also in the book, a very supportive environment in the house. So one of the things that you said in the book is that you never say no to Grant. Okay, um, so yeah, can you laugh right there?

Well, because— and probably again because I was an actress for so many years and I have been rejected so many times. Like, you know, how many times do I get close and fail? Or you're this or you're that, or you're not this or you're not that. And anyway, I just feel like— I don't know, like I don't want to be rejected. Yeah, you know. It's just not a good feeling. So I just thought, if you're married to somebody, why would you ever want them to feel that way? Like, I mean, you're the only person they're supposed to be being with in, in a monogamous relationship. So that should be like really sacred. Like, that should just be like a given, not like, oh, I have to punish you by taking that away or whatever. That's like the one special thing that y'all have that nobody else has. So I just don't think it should be messed with. Yeah. And I don't want to get in his head. Like, I want him so focused on producing and winning and hitting his goals that I don't want him worried about his wife or his own self-esteem or going into his head and having a distraction or an introversion or anything that's going to make him feel less than. Yeah. Like, go get those problems out in the real world. Don't— you're not going to get that from me. Definitely.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I loved that part of the book. So I know we're a little tight on time, so can you tell the audience too, like, everything you have going on now? And I love what we got to talk about in this interview because obviously I think in your interviews and the stuff that I've seen, you do talk about this part, but a lot of it's also business. So I feel like we— your whole childhood, like, we got pretty far. We didn't get to the complete end. But so you're working on a lot of things right now. What are you most excited about?

Well, the thing I'm most excited about is this kind of new— this, this new business that I'm doing for the first time. I became a licensed realtor with eXp Realty because I was taking one for the team by becoming a realtor so that Grant Cardone and Glenn Sanford, the founder of eXp, could do a deal together where Grant provides the training platform for the organization. So I did that so they could do that deal, and then I found out about it. And not only does a realtor make money from the commission side, from selling homes and transactions. But there's also the revenue, the revenue share portion, which if anyone is interested in having leveraged income in addition to their commission income, this is the vehicle. So you can get paid on up to 7 layers deep of the people that bring in the people every time they do a transaction up until they cap. So you can get a small little piece of that and And so that leveraged income really excited me because the numbers can be really big. And so, you know, I've been the woman behind the man for a long time. I feel like that's my superheroism. And I feel like with this vehicle called eXp, I have the opportunity to bring what I brought to Grant to all the other hammers out there, you know, to all the other, like, really empire builders. So I can offer mindset, infrastructure, and support into them for building their businesses and through eXp by providing the training and also teaching them how to attract and keep them going and working so that they can have this leveraged income. Yeah, you know, because that really excited me. I want to be the woman behind the thousands. So now I've been a realtor for 6 months. I capped on my first deal. Because I'll never do something I won't ask anybody else to do. And if you're in this business, you have to be doing deals. And then I also have 340 people in my entire organization, and I'm just getting started. So yeah, it's been— yeah, it's been— it's been exciting. And what's the website for that in particular? Join10xempire.com. If you want to get on my opportunity call, you want to hear about it, you want to know more, go to join10xempire.com. Because I want to build the largest— you know, I have small, small dreams— the largest, most successful real estate, uh, team in the world.

Amazing. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I appreciate it. Yeah, absolutely.