Health Talk on Self Healing | The Authors Unite Show - Charles Gray

All right everyone, welcome back to the Authors Unite show. Today we got a good friend of mine, Charles Clay. Welcome to the show, man.

Yeah, good to be here, brother. It's good to hear and see you again.

I know, dude, it's been a while, man.

Love to have you on.

Um, so yeah, to kick us off, I know you just made a move. Um, I don't know if that'll be part of your introduction, but hit us, man. Tell us about you.

Yeah, more currently we, uh, just moved in to NorCal from SoCal, so moved from Ensenadas to beautiful Bay Area here and enjoying landing here, man. It's been great diving into new conscious community and finding new trails. We did a— woke up in the morning the other day before sunrise and did a hot springs tour. It was just amazing. So before that, you know, graduated from Washington State University, got my degree in kinesiology. So I've always been on a search for optimizing human potential and getting the most out of the greatest technology on the planet, our human bodies. And, um, that has led me down, um, a really powerful path. Um, you know, one of my transformations was actually from, um, one of my most painful experiences, a snowboarding accident where I broke my back. And I remember a lot of doctors were telling me, you know, you're, you're so jacked up, spinal issues, you're going to need surgery. And despite their recommendations, I chose the self-healing path. And that took me on a journey of discovering some of the old ancient wisdom of healing and new modern age science, combining that to find really powerful ways, including neurokinetic therapy for healing myself through this, and coming back into full alignment and feeling stronger than ever. And that gained— I gained so many amazing gifts through that, that journey that it's just such an honor to be able to share that now with others and help them and men turn pain, their pain, into purpose. And it's, it's been such a, such a treat. I'm really happy. So that, that inspired me to create Empowered Men's group training and group mastermind, and just been just blown away by the results and the men that have been showing up for this. Just such a treat, man. Like I said, a real honor to be doing this work. So glad to be here right now.

This is awesome because, uh, you know, a lot of our listeners, they're, they're like authors, entrepreneurs, coaches, speakers, you know, that type of, uh, individual. And like, I think especially like high-performing— what will go towards the men's side because that's who you coach— like, and me, I'm always looking, how can I like get more focus? How can I get more energy, more clarity? So like, do you have— do you have some tips on that?

Oh yeah, oh yeah. Every— I mean, I'm sure a lot of you can relate, like the distractions are in full effect more now than ever. And so our— literally our minds are getting hijacked. By like things that really aren't important to us. And, and that, you know, can create addictive tendencies and, and literally an untrained mind can be the root of all suffering. So that's why a lot of people are experiencing anxiety on a regular basis. And, um, you know, and, and all this like overwhelm and, ah, there's not enough time in a day. So we've taken a deep dive and found some of the most amazing, profound ways to train the mind. So that we can lead with our heart space and connect these two, which for some men, that 12 inches between the heart and the mind can be the longest distance. And I, and I know because that was me, like Charles 1.0, you know, I was so stuck in my head. So gung-ho, got to do, do, do, and always thinking about like, you know, what can I get out of this? And going from that place of the mind and ego to learning how to drop into my heart space and realize like, Wow. Look at everything I have to give. And, and that's that change, that shift internally creates an entirely new experience for you externally. So it's been, it's been a real treat taking the men on this journey. And you know, one of the, one of the trainings we offer one week on the live modules is, um, the laser focus method. And this is just diving into hacking, You know, some of the distractions, like getting through all the clutter, all the brain fog into, from going, like, it's amazing seeing these men go from like, dude, I do not have enough time, like in the day and just flustered to all of a sudden, that was me too. So going to that, from that place to like, I've just crushed so many tasks. I just got so much done. And now I have all this free time to do what I actually love doing, like all the things that I really want and passionate about in life. And that's when you're activating your genius, right? And so there's ways that we can get into flow state, even doing the tasks that we don't even enjoy, right? Just by, by changing that, that little tweak. So like real quick, um, you know, one of the first steps in the laser focus technique is you get to take your to-do list. And crumple it up and throw it away and just, just feel how good that feels for a while, because that to-do list can be a huge stressor, right? It can be like this thing that's floating in the mind. That's like, oh, I haven't done this yet. I haven't done this yet. I haven't done this. So if we throw that away and then we create a new list and it starts with your not-to-do list, right? So you do a quick list of like all the things that are your biggest distractors. Like whether it's Facebook, uh, whether it's, you know, running to the kitchen to get food or what, whatever it is that, you know, whatever you're supposed to be doing, whatever veers you from that, you write that down so that you have awareness about it. Right. And these are the things that you're going to be aware of now when they come up, you're like, ain't nobody got time for that. Right. And then, then you get to write your get-to-do list. And this is a huge difference. Because one, just think of the frequency of that, like your vibrations. It's like things that I get to do, because on the other end of these things, I'm going to feel what? Accomplishment. I'm going to feel, you know, productive. I'm going to feel like I'm spacious. So huge difference there. And then when you attune to those feelings that you're going to get when you finish this task while doing it, and then you set your alarm, you literally set like, okay, this task, I'll put 20 minutes to, right? And you don't want to go much longer than 45 minutes. Because science has showed us that that's when our minds can only maintain focus strongly on one thing for about 45 minutes, hour-ish, unless you're like Einstein or one of these super geniuses, right? Or really, really hacking this work and you get good at this method and you can extend that. But for now, keep it into like little short bursts that, you know, you can crush that. And as soon as you hit the timer, There's no going to the bathroom. There's no going to the fridge. There's no hopping on Facebook. You are just getting into flow state on this one thing, right? You're just like honing in your focus. And, and you get good at this, like anything, right? It becomes a practice. And, um, and then it becomes fun and it becomes a game. And you're like, how fast can I crush this? Boom, before the timer even goes off, then you get to celebrate, add some movement in, you know, do some fricking jumping jacks, handstand pushups, you know, a cartwheel, like your state. And then boom, you get to go to the next one on your list. And that list, instead of like 10 things that you had before on your to-do list, your get-to-do list is like 3 things. And the one that's the most challenging that you've been putting off the most is the very first one. That's the one that's like the swallow the frog, right? That's like, this is the one that I have the most resistance to. You're going to crush that one first and get to the vibration, what that feels like when you're done. And when you're feeling accomplished and productive, then the other ones on the list really easy. Yeah, super simple, right? So that's just like a quick overview of one, one of the weeks that we get to, uh, teach in the program.

Dude, that's so awesome. Like, I, um, I'm actually— I'm currently going through this, uh, program. It's, uh, by Steven Cutler. It's called Zero to Dangerous. Um, and it's like, it's, it's all about flow. Um, and it's just like, he talks— so far I haven't gone all the way through it yet, but he talks about some of the older philosophers like Nietzsche Friedrich Nietzsche. And like what they discovered is like exercise before, like they would go hiking and it would like get—

and I think it was like a nature and exercise combination, like grounding.

I don't know if they did it barefoot or not, I'm not sure, but I know that that would help. And after that, and during, they'd be in flow during, but then if they did their work after, like writing, like it was just— it would just pour kind of out of them is what he's talking about. So I just think, so my question for you here is on working out, because I think a lot of like entrepreneurs are like, some of them are like, I'm too busy. And I love the quote on meditation. It's, uh, Tim Ferriss. I don't think it's his quote, but he shared like, if you don't have 15 minutes to meditate, you should meditate for 2 hours or something.

Exactly. Yeah.

I'm like, yeah, I like that.

It's so true. Yeah.

So like, what's your 80/20 for like exercise if you, if you have one?

So exercise, this is one of those things that should be always being part of your morning routine, right? Like, yeah, I look at my morning as like the most important things first. And the most important thing is me in alignment with my highest, greatest version of myself. And I do that with movement, with breathwork, and with meditation. And, and this is a really profound activation that I've acquired over the years. And it's, it can be like, 2 minutes, 5 minutes to an hour, you know? So I have that frame where I don't have to be stressed out. Like, oh, I'm not going to have enough time for my meditation. Like 2 minutes of burpees, 2 minutes of breathwork, 2 minutes of meditation, sitting still and observing your thoughts. Like literally that 2-2-2, that can be enough to get you back into a state of alignment. When you get good at this. And then from there it's inspired action. And you're like, dude, I'm going to crush that get-to-do list. Right? Like, because even that 2 minutes of exercise is going to make you, it's going to change your state. So it makes you feel really good. Right? Do, when's the last time you did jumping jacks or like cartwheels? Right?

Cartwheels have been a while. Jumping jacks.

Yeah. So we don't even consider this stuff as exercise. Right? But you get back to combining exercise with play. And then you get dive in deep on like, why is it that you're exercising? Is it because you want to have huge biceps and bench press like 300 pounds? Or are you kind of over that since high school and now you want to actually just feel good? Right? So tap into your why. And then if you're doing your movements, um, to connect deeply to each and every cell in your body and every molecule, then man, you can really just feel good in all of your movements. And then, You know, when you're feeling really good, you want more of that, right? So then you're like, dude, how can I add in another 2, 5 minutes break where I'm doing some exercise and burpees, some, some Spider-Man pushups, some power squats, some Plyometrics, you know, like you can add these things in. I have a lot of my clients have a kettlebell next to their desk so that when you crush these tasks, boom, then you get to go to Get in your body, you know, use your power muscles, use your glutes, your core, and do some swings, some power moves. And that gets you back into the state, gets the blood flowing, and then boom, then you go on to your next task with so much more, you know, tenacious energy. You can just like crush it instead of, uh-oh, it's time for another cup of coffee. Right. Cause I'm about to crash. You know, there's, there's that, there's breath, there's a breath of fire that that I offer the men is so powerful. And this is like replacing coffee, you know, because it allows you to have that focused energy instead of like the jitters and stuff too, that, that go with the caffeine. And literally what's great about this program is that a lot of men and a lot of people, like I've worked with women too, that are, are literally taking out pharmaceuticals in their medicine cabinets and replacing them with breath techniques, with movement to release resistance in the body and deep self-healing practices that are super profound. They're very simple. They don't take a long time. And once you implement these over time, then you get a compound effect, right? Just like an investment in a retirement account, right? You're getting a compound effect by continuing to do this work. So what's, So once everybody knows what to do, what's preventing us from doing it? It's not that, it's not that we don't know what to do. It's not that we don't know how to do it. It's that we aren't consistently implementing because we get thrown off by distractions. Right? So that's the power in numbers. That's why Empowered Men's Group Training is so powerful. And any of these men's groups that are really focused with a good purpose is that You are setting a container where, where men can actually fully be themselves for one, like take off all the masks. Like I don't have to be wearing this hat anymore for work to try to be a certain way and shape-shifting, right? I get to like share what's true on my heart and not feel judged and be okay to like let out what's really going on internally. So that's super healing, right? Then too, What is it that you need support with? What are you stuck right now? You know, and that's where you get accelerated results because you're getting accountability, support, and resources so that you're not staying stuck. Cause we all get stuck. We all hit resistance when we go step into greatness, right? But you don't have to stay there. That's the beautiful part is that, you know, when you have a team, that's all like heart-centered, purpose-driven men that are like, dude, I'll hold you accountable on that. You just need, we need, you need to make sure that you're doing your morning routine. Boom. I'll check up with you on that. You know, um, how can I support you in that? And you have, that's where you get massive results is because when you're investing your time into a group that actually supports you in that, then, then you're working towards something greater than just yourself. Right? You got people like, you know what the difference is? Like when you try to do things yourself, like, ah, I'm going to quit sugar this week. Right? And then it's really easy to like, ah, donut or something, right? When you're not feeling good, you post on Facebook or in your men's group, like, hey, I'm cutting out sugar for a week. Um, you guys can hold me accountable. Then all of a sudden there's some clout there. Right? And that's when you actually are committed. and then you get amazing results. So that's just one example of how like men get to really start taking that, that deep dive into why is it that I'm craving coffee? Why is it I'm craving sugar? Why do I need a glass of wine every night? Right. And when you start taking that journey, boy, I, I took that journey and it is amazing. What's, what's at the bottom might really, surprise you.

Yeah, yeah, it's— I've actually recently taken it as well. I've recently cut alcohol like pretty much all out, um, like limited a lot. Like I went about a month without it and now it's just like a very, very occasional thing. And dude, alcohol is a very bad thing.

It can be.

Yeah, without alcohol, like whatever you've accomplished while drinking alcohol just a minute, you can times it by a million without alcohol.

Yeah, for sure.

So, but so a question for you, this may be a hard question to answer, it might be a lot, but I want to ask you because I think you do it very well and just the whole Encinitas community does it well. So I don't even know how to structure it. How do you become, how do you live from your heart? Like how do you become heart-centered? And I think especially even for men I don't know, it's for everybody, but I think for men, because there is that kind of that mask you were speaking about, I think community helps, but I'll let you answer it.

But yeah, yeah, yeah. First it starts with your truth. Like, what is it that is working in your life and what's not working, right? Because we can— I spent years like figuring out that denial is not just a river in Egypt. I was stuck in denial. I was like, my, I can explain my journey and then how I help other men to get to the same place as well. It's like, cause everybody's different, right? So for me it was starting with my truth, like getting out of my head and into my heart. Like, what am I feeling? So you can always think of like your mind is what's thinking, right? Those are your thoughts. The more we attach to those thoughts, then the more we, they create a feeling and emotion, right? Whether it's a negative thought that, oh man, I'm feeling old today, right? So then if you see a gray hair in the mirror and you start thinking, oh man, I'm getting old, that's a thought that just went by, right? That's not you. That's not you or your true self. But when you attach to that and be like, think that's true and believe that, then in your body you get an emotion, right? Like, ah, I feel like crap. I'm, I don't feel good about getting old. Right. And then it can lead to this momentum and downward spiral. So you're using your greatest asset, your attention, your magic wand of attention to attach to these thoughts that don't feel good in your body. And then it creates more momentum, right? Where our attention goes, our energy flows. So instead, let that wave go by and then attune to a wave that feels better in your body. Like, hey, Gray hairs, they look good on Sean Connery, right? It's a shine, a sophistication. So that feels a little better, right? Like some silvers. Hey, it's cool. It's like, you know, I've got experience under my belt and that feels better. And those are choices that we get to make in any moment with where we're putting our attention, right? So that's just about a little example of the thoughts that we follow, right? And then when you're tuning into the feelings and that's what's going on in your body, you know, like stress about paying bills or something, right? Like you can feel that viscerally, usually in your gut or your solar plexus, right? So attuning to these energies, these are where, um, like the fear energy was stored, right? And becomes, shows up in our cells and stuff. So, so when you're ready to do the deep work on that, then there's some really powerful techniques. To allow that to be there, allowed to feel it, to heal it. And then this too will pass just like anything, right? So this is where a lot of the deep healing, um, really happens is when you're in this place of the heart. And another difference is instead of thinking of like, you know, how can I benefit myself? Um, it's a lot of like, how can I benefit my family, my community? You know, that's, that's the heart space compared to the mind, right? You're looking out for the wellbeing of everyone. And in place, you know, because you're always looking for win-win-win situations, right? So whenever you have an interaction, if you see a potential partner for business, you're always looking for like, how can I benefit them? How can it benefit me and benefit, you know, Mother Nature and, and Mother Earth, you know, like the win-win-win for everyone. That's in the heart space. So you can do this for everything. So another example of how, you know, to, to give everybody like a way that you can use this and get out of your mind. And into your heart is, um, you know, say you go to the same cafe every day, right? You're kind of living your same patterns, same neural pathways, go to the same cafe, get the same coffee. And it's kind of like Groundhog Day, right? So why not before you step into that cafe, set an intention, an intention turns on your reticular activation and that's your retina, the lens of which you see your reality is activated to whatever desire you want to experience, right? I want to experience and share more love. So maybe that's your intention. So you walk into the cafe and then all of a sudden, you know, you can look at the barista and, and as soon as you start a conversation with her, look her in the eyes and tell her you love her, but not with your mouth, with your eyes and with your heart, right? Because that can come off creepy unless you know her. Um, yeah. So you are just sharing love from your heart space to her as another beautiful soul. And, and then watch what unfolds instead of your daily routine of like, thanks for the coffee. Yeah. I had another good day. Yeah. You're doing well. Cool. I don't even really care. I don't have enough time to think about that cause I'm in my head. Instead, it's like, hey, how are you doing? You know, and you're beaming them love and you're actually present to hear the answer and wondering curiously, like, how are they really doing? And what you might find is sometimes it might be the first time that that person's felt important that day, or the first time that they felt loved in, you know, who knows how long, right? And so it lights people up and, and, and what happens is it creates these opportunities and these new experiences and new conversations. And then, um, you've just changed your whole entire experience. You've created vacation vibration in your daily routine of the normal cafe you would go to. You just created novelty by setting your intention and sharing from a heart space, something so simple as telling someone you love them with your eyes. Yeah. And then, and you know, what's cool about it? You get a lot of free stuff. People just want to like give you stuff, man. They're just like, your coffee's on me today because you're awesome.

Yeah.

It's so funny what unfolds. So, so that's like one quick takeaway that, um, how simple it is to begin to go from here to here. And it all starts with awareness of where your magic wand of attention is going, right? If it's on, ah, it's all like, I got to do this, I got to do this, got to figure this out. And you're stuck in your head. Cool. Then that's what you're going to experience externally. Is more of that, right? More of the same. Whereas drop into your heart space, consideration for everybody involved, and just like your cup's full. So you're beaming people with love. Then the conversations that ensue, the opportunities, the signs, the synchronicities that show up are like, next thing you know, you might be saying like, man, I need to get published in my book because I have these epic experiences I want to share in life. And I have a lot of golden nuggets that I can offer people. And then you might get somebody like days later, like Tyler Wagner, that gives you a call and says, hey, we'd love to have you at our new book that we're coming out called Better Business Book. True story. Right. And I'm like, wow, dude, here I had all these like mental blocks about like how hard it's going to be to write a whole book and get it published. And you know, like all the fear, all the self-doubt thoughts, I let all those go by like waves. And I just sat in the seat of consciousness and was open to all possibilities. And then literally you connected with me and I was like, who is this guy? Oh, I know.

You know, that was going on before we connected.

I didn't know. Yeah. Yeah. Like I was literally sitting in Sweden with, um, one of my best friends, Gustav, we call him good stuff. And I got to, I got to bring my, I brought him into our family when I met him here. He was kind of like, you know, I'm traveling solo and we took him in because we loved him. He had such a huge heart. And then he went back to Sweden, invited us over for Midsummer. So I brought my brother and we are like going on these epic, like just pristine, like hikes. And we felt like you're in like Lord of the Rings, right? And there's waterfall and we're eating, having a picnic that his mom made this gazpacho and like, amazing gluten-free quiche. And so I remember we're cliff jumping into this like ice cold water and we're just laying out on this bedrock and just like got our fix of adrenaline, which I was soaking it all up. And I literally just felt like deep connection to my higher self and just the energy that creates planets flowing to me and through me in that moment. And it was so much energy that there's no way I could contain it in this body. It was so much joy and just like love and admiration of of like how I got here that I knew I needed to share it. And I had that conversation with my higher self. My higher self was like, it's time to write a book. It's time to get published. Right. And I was like, okay, I'll get published by the end of this year. And, and then as soon as I declared that, that's when all those thoughts come, right? As soon as you go to step into greatness, you're going to be met by resistance. And it's how you move through that. It's how you, deal with those thoughts and don't attach to the ones that are of self-doubt, of limiting beliefs, of all that stuff that's not you. It's so easy to dive in and get attached to those and then notice how it feels in your body, right? And then come back to the seat of consciousness, like, you know what, I'm open to all possibilities of this happening. And that's literally how you and I got connected, was not long after that, dude. So it was like, dude, I manifested you. And that book was so rad, it was so fun. And of course my chapter was Vacation Vibrations. Because that's when it was born in Sweden. So how to incorporate that into your daily lives and into your business. So it's been a treat.

Full circle, man.

Yeah.

Oh, well, dude, listen, if you're down, I love to do— we could do a longer one, um, sometimes. So I don't know if you're down for a longer one, but for now, I know everybody listening would like to know, tell the people Where can they find you? Social, website, or you know, what's the best way to connect with you?

Yeah. So the easiest way, um, is, you know, I'm on Facebook. There's a link there. Um, greatestyou.com, greatest, the letter U,.com website. And, um, you can reach me at Vacation Vibration on Instagram. And for those that are interested, the men that are really feeling the call to like step into their greatness, to find ways to eliminate the distractions and align with the highest version of themselves, to really Share Your Greatest Gifts, Talents, and Passions, then Tyler will leave a link and you can just hop on a quick— we'll schedule a 15-minute call. It's super simple. It's just a support call to get to know you better and understand where you could use support and help. And even if it's not with us, then we have so many resources that we can send you in the right direction. So it's only going to benefit you. And we're just here to provide value.

Perfect, man. Dude, thank you again. This was fun. You couldn't tell I had fun during it.

I did. I love your smile. It's contagious, brother. And it's cool that we got to share, you know, the full circle story of how we met. And I appreciate you, brother, and all the work you're doing in the world. Keep it up.