Helen Ollerenshaw, a transformational love coach, shares a story from working with an Indigenous community where her mentor taught her to "go with the flow" and accept non-linear progress. She advises trusting your intuition, healing limiting beliefs from childhood, and playing to your strengths for exponential returns. Happiness, she says, is aligning with your heart and higher self.
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Welcome to the Business Blast podcast. I'm your host, Tyler Wagner. This episode is brought to you by Authors Unite. Authors Unite provides you with all the resources you need to become a successful author. You can learn more about Authors Unite and join the free community at authorsunite.com. Now let's jump into the episode.
¡Hola! ¿Cómo estás? All right, everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Business Blast podcast. I'm your host Tyler Wagner. Today I have Helen Ahlenschral, and she is a transformational love coach, facilitator, and a published writer. So welcome to the show.
Welcome. Thank you very much for having me, Tyler.
Of course. We'll dive in, Helen, to the first one. The first one I have for you is, what is the best story from your life that has an underlying valuable message?
Oh, look, we know that as we grow up we get lots and lots of stories, but I think one of the most powerful for me was several years ago I was working in a little 4-block mission town out the back of what we call out the back of the black stump. So it's on the Darling River in New South Wales, so it means it's in the middle of nowhere. So it's a tiny little inward-looking, really, really complicated, violent, disenfranchised, impoverished community that was experiencing like generational traumas, multilayered and very deep grief. It's quite a complicated little town. And most of the people who worked in that town, like me at that time, were what we call blow-ins in Australia. And that means they blow into town and do something and eventually blow out again. They don't stay around. So it was a town that was really fueled on racism and hatred and there's little work for the young people, the Indigenous community. And they're the ones that I was there to work with. So, it was also a time, at that time of year, it was the middle of summer and there'd been lots of elders who'd passed away. So, really kind of deep, heavy stuff going on for them. And I was working with some of the elders and I was also trying to work with some of the non-Indigenous community about creating change for the young people. And I could see lots and lots of opportunities where small changes could make a really big difference. But every time I tried to work with people to enact it, I was getting brick walls in front of me. So I was standing on the wharf one day overlooking the river. There used to be big steam engines and things, steamboats come through and take produce down the river. And I was standing there talking with my Indigenous mentor. Now, he was a really big guy called Phillip, like he's 6 foot tall and he was built like a big unit. I was just sharing my frustrations and he kind of just looked at me, as he did, really quietly and looked down and then he turned to me and he said in his really big deep voice, "Ellen," because he never called me Helen, we dropped the H when I was up there, "Ellen," he said, "Look down there," and nodded at the river and he said, "Just go with the flow." I kind of thought, "That's not helping me very much." You know, I thought first he meant that I chill out, take it easy, let life move along, you know, that kind of stuff. But I looked at the river and I turned to Philip and I said, you know, how do I do that when the river doesn't flow in any one direction? Because, you know, big rivers don't. They don't just flow down nicely. They flow forwards and backwards and they have eddies in the middle of them and, you know, things get stuck. So he was quiet for the longest time and then he just took this really deep breath and he said, "That's right," and he walked away. And I was just— couldn't kind of cope with what he'd said, so it took me a while. I was standing there looking and leaving. And then what I took away from that eventually was there simply isn't always one right direction or one right solution. And the frustrations or the sense of moving backward or standing still are equally as much as part of the process of whatever's happening in your life, whether it's work or family or relationships, that flow moving backwards, or sometimes when you feel frustrated and stuck still, they are as much part of the process as the times that your life flows really, really smoothly. And each time that you feel a frustration, it's an opportunity to learn and grow and to gain something that's going to help you for something that you don't yet know is going to happen in the future. So every time I feel stuck in life, I just think of Philip and his big deep voice looking at me saying, just go with the flow, Helen, just go with the flow.
I love it. Thank you for sharing that with us. The next one I have for you is, what is the most valuable piece of information we should know that's within your expertise or industry?
There's— the first one is really, there's more, there's always more than one. So it's really hard to narrow it down to just one. The biggest one for me is, is that You already know the answer to everything that's going on in your life. You, you really need to trust your heart. Now, some people might call their heart their gut or their instincts or their intuition or whatever it may be, but there are always people who need you and what you have and your solutions and not a copy of somebody else. So don't try and be someone else. Follow your own heart and follow your own instincts.
And what's your best piece of overall business advice? So not necessarily industry specific.
I think the thing in terms of business is really quite this simple. It's not the 3 keys or the 5 keys or the 10 keys to anything else. It really is this: stop letting your inner 5-year-old ruin— run your life. So we all, you know, their job is to play and explore and laugh. And what that means is we all have beliefs that we have created from the age of 0 to 7, and those beliefs determine how we interact with the world, how we make decisions, how when we have adversity, what we do. Because that 5-year-old, they're generally about 5, has decided that this person can't be trusted or I can't, I don't deserve nice things or from a whole series of events. So if you work out what's going on for your 5-year-old and deal with that, Then you stop your 5-year-old trying to do an adult's job.
And if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would that be?
My younger self? Oh, it would be simply this: trust you. Really trust you that you are absolutely right. What you think or feel or know is right for you. Other people in your lives can only give you advice based on what they believe would be right for them. In their circumstances. So trust your own knowledge about what you need for you right now.
And in your opinion, what's the key to happiness?
Key to happiness is connecting with you, connecting with your heart, connecting with your intuition, connecting with your higher self, whatever you might call it. Because when you can do that, the world will reflect back to you that connection that is you. So, so in my world, the world is just a great big reflecting mirror. If you're not in tune with you, then the world around you is out of tune with you as well. So when you get in tune with yourself, the world will start to play the same game.
I love that. And what is the best book that you've read and what was the number one thing you learned from that?
Well, aside from my own book, which is, um, is there's, there's a couple in terms of business that I think are really powerful and they're They're both by Tim Roth and they're the Leadership Strengths and the Strengths Finder books. And the reason that I think they are important is because they teach you to play to your strengths. You know, everyone has a unique combination of skills and strengths. And once you know what yours are and focus on those areas of your life, your business can become easier. You know, let's, let's face it, you can, you can always employ someone who does the stuff that you don't do really well. And by trying to fix what your weaknesses, then really you're spending 90% of your time to get a 10% effort and outcome. If you focus on your strengths and put the same 90% in your strengths, you're going to get 110% back. So play to your strengths, read those books, work out what your strengths are, play to your strengths, and get someone else to do the stuff you can't do.
And what is your favorite quote and why?
Oh, this is my favorite one that I use all the time, and I'm not sure if it's a quote or whether it's a saying, but I use it all the time, particularly when I'm training people and working with people, is that you don't know what you don't know until you know that you don't know it. So it's a reminder to treat yourself kindly, that there's more information out there in the world than any one person could ever learn in a dozen lifetimes. So it's about saying, well, I didn't know that. So now I, now I know that I don't know that. What can I do differently next time? So just to— it's about learning to think and access information, not what to think, and also not to beat yourself up if you get something wrong.
Yes, I love it. Thank you so much for coming on. The last question I have for you before we let you go is, where is the best place for people to find you online?
Okay, I'm easy to find online. Um, also I'm on LinkedIn and Facebook. I have a website which is called lifeetherial.com.au, which is L-I-F-E-T-H-E-R-I-A-L.com.au, or Helen O at lifeetherial.com.au.
Perfect. Thanks again for joining us. We appreciate it.
Hey Tyler, thanks very much for having us on board. Have a great night and I hope we talk again soon.
Sounds good.
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