How To Transform Your Life With Raquel Diehm

All right everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Business Blast podcast. I'm your host Tyler Wagner. Today I have Raquel Deem with us. She is a transformation coach and founder of I Am Intention, where she helps people find clarity, remove unseen blockages, elevate, and transform their lives. So welcome to the show.

Thank you so much, Tyler. Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited to be here.

Of course, pumped to have you on. We got good energy, so like, I'm pumped to have Um, so first one I got for you, we go deep pretty quick on this show. So the first one is, what is the best story from your life that has an underlying valuable message?

Okay, so the best story from my life that's kind of brought me to where I am today, what I want to be doing in the future, is it all happened in college. So I had two classes that totally transformed the way that I view myself, the world, and other people around me. So the first class that I took was this class called existentialism, which is the meaning of existence in a nutshell. And taking that class allowed me, it gave me permission to question the fabric of everything, question the fabric of my beliefs, why I believed what I was believing, what did I even believe to begin with, what are my thought patterns, why do I think those things, or my emotions, why do I feel these certain things in these certain types of situations? So it allowed me to break down everything, and then it was in, it was in an environment where people were being very open and sharing about all their thoughts, their opinions, their experiences, their perspectives. And it allowed me to put myself in everybody's shoes in a very open way to be like, what would it be like if I actually believed this? If I actually felt this in a way that I never would have thought before. Usually when someone comes at me with a different perspective or opinion, I usually come back standing up for my own. You know, well, this is the way that I see it. This is the way that I see it. You know, so I'm pretty much like grounding my identity. But when you're growing up, your identity is pretty much a reflection on the whole world around you. So you're like, wait, why do I think that? I don't even know. I've never asked myself that. So putting myself in other people's shoes, literally, and being like, if I believe this, how would I actually see it? How would I feel it? So it allowed me to shatter everything that I pre-notion with my life and allowed me to reconstruct with intention of how I want to see the world. So it broke down everything and allowed me to realize that we are way more similar than we are different. And we just love, we love to look at all of our differences because it makes us feel like we're something, you know, like, oh, well, this is my team, you know, this is what I represent, this is who I am. So because we, even though we're like, oh, war is bad, fighting is bad, we secretly love it because it makes us feel like we're individuals and we're important. So allowing that to be like, hold on, okay, I know we like doing that, but we also have a lot more in common. So can we put our attention there for a little while so we can sit in the joys of life, you know? So, so that allowed me to totally start over with my entire worldview on how I viewed myself, the world around me, and others. Then the second class that changed my life was the Science of Happiness. So in this, I got to, and I actually took this class, it was so serendipitous. It just happened to work with my schedule and la da da da da, so I found myself in this class and all of a sudden I became obsessed. I was like, what? Hold on. There is a science to living your life the best way possible. There's been studies, there's been from all around the world, and there's steps that you can take to actually make you happier. So I was like, yo, if I'm gonna die in like 80-something years or whatever, how many years, I think I want to live my life the best way that I possibly can. So yeah, I'm gonna take some action, okay? So then I became so incredibly fascinated and just obsessed with this. And what really got my wheels turning was I was looking around me and I was like, I think I'm the annoying kid in the class because I was raising my hand all the time, I had a million questions, I was overachiever and all this stuff. But when I was, and I was like, and I was looking at everybody else around me, I was like, why isn't anybody as excited as I am? Why? No, like people were like, oh, like, how can I get through this? How can you get through it? You are learning the keys of life, of happiness, of prosperity, of everything that you want. Like, why are you not excited about this? And people were just trying to get through the class. People were just trying to brush it off or like find the easiest way out. And I remember sitting there and actually even looking at my teacher, and my teacher was even unhappy herself. I remember I became, because I wanted to know so much about it, I actually became her therapist at the end. And I was like, wait, You are teaching happiness class. You are not even happy yourself. I was like, wait a moment, what is going on here? Then, it allowed me to actually take my life and put it in perspective. I am like, OK, well, where am I in my happiness level, my happiness scale? Looking at everybody around me, not only in that class, but everybody else in college, I came to the realization that so many people were doing things that they don't want to do. They hate their major, they hate their classes, they're just trying to figure out what's the easiest thing to get by. I'm like, first of all, you're paying for this, and second of all, don't you want to enjoy your education? What actually do you want to learn? Like, it's not about the piece of paper, it's about the experience, and it's about you learning what makes you feel alive. But people were just trying to get by, and everyone around me was so incredibly unhappy. I'm like, hold on, yo, there's a problem going on here, you know? Like, this is the time of our lives where we're supposed to be the most excited and curious, and it's dead. It is completely dead. So that almost birthed the start of being what I do now of transformational coaching. I'm like, you don't have to be unhappy. You don't have to do things that you don't want to do. Sure, you have to put in your reps, and sometimes we experience pain, but it's all part of the experience. You don't have to go to a gym that you don't like to. Go to the gym that you do like to, you know, and then put in your reps, you know. So that was just a huge realization that I had. And I was like, I can live my life the way that I want to do it and I can construct it myself. It's not going to go the way that I completely think that it will. Life happened exactly the way that I thought it would. Said no one ever. But if I can put in those fundamental principles and I can live my life with passion and curiosity, like that energy will never run dry. And that's what a huge energy crisis that we're going on right now. What's the best drink? What's the best thing? What's the best? All these external solutions. Yo, it's internal. It's internal, bro. Like, you gotta start within yourself, and that's where all the energy comes from, and that's really where you're gonna find happiness. And, you know, even success, it's just gonna be a symptom, you know, of living your best life, pretty much in a nutshell.

So first, I don't know if anybody's ever told you this, but you are amazing. Like, you are incredible. And Secondly, like, I feel when you— what you were just describing, we have lived very similar lives in at least this respect. Um, it is so interesting what you— I feel like I've literally said that and explained those exact words. Like, when I was in school, I dropped out after 2 years, and I actually had one of my teachers— my major was entrepreneurship, and the teacher never actually had ran a business. I found out the first day of class. So I was like, that was one of the reasons why I was like, this is weird. So kind of comparing, like, not saying your happiness teacher was bad, but your happiness teacher should probably be happy. That would only make logical sense. So, but like, and also I had, even when I was younger, I always kind of just realized, I'm like, why do people do things they don't like doing? Like, I don't understand it. Like, I'm like, If I had to choose, you know, all this money doing something I don't like or a lot less money doing something I do like, I would choose the second one. And what's funny is it's like that's the long-term game. Like, if you choose what you love, maybe in the short term it might be less abundant financially, potentially, but over time you, you'll have endurance with it. You know what I mean? Like, somebody was asking me, and me and you were talking about with the podcast, when I knew the podcast was the thing for me was when I I thought to myself, when I'm 80, could I see myself doing the podcast? And I was like, hell yeah, I could. I was like, yes, I could. So, if I know I got, yeah, I got like 33 more, or no, what is it, 53? Bad at math. 53 more years till I'm 80. That's a lot of time. I can stay on the mic. I'll just be rocking the mic. So, like, I don't, I just think like, if you can start to focus there and stop— and I know you got to pay the bills, I totally get all that, so you got to make ends meet— but if you can at least start to focus, bring your awareness toward like fulfillment and happiness and enjoying what you do while making ends meet, then you can start to slowly get to that thing where you actually are earning money for what you enjoy doing. And that, I think, is really the key. You know, because then you're only doing—

totally aligned with that. Yeah, sense of longevity, you know, because right now a lot of what we— we love short-term gratification. We love— we want now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now. Yeah, we kind of don't think that tomorrow is tomorrow's right now, you know, like how— yeah, I kind of want to maintain this, you know, like I don't want to just be like, oh my, and then I come down, you know, I gotta get high again. Oh yes, I love that, you know, it's more longevity, long term, you know. Yeah, and it'll just build up over time, you know. Yep, quick fixes don't exist, you know.

You gotta, you gotta think the long game. The long game is the game. Um, so that was maybe the top, uh, answer to that question in all the episodes, and it's recording. And I'll say you, you rocked it. Yeah, that was like Full-on storytelling right there. So appreciate it. Um, so next one is, what is the most valuable piece of information we should know that's within your expertise or industry?

The number one thing that always comes over again and again and again through all different areas of our lives is that change happens today, and I'm saying that in all different areas of our lives, not just business. Business is just a quadrant in the area, the whole area of life that we live in. You know, we're multiple beings here. You know, we have our physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, financial. So there's so many different sides of us, and sometimes we get caught up with not, you know, wanting one thing to be better or one thing is worse and all these different things, but change happens Today in that sense, and it's especially now with social media, it is so easy to get caught in the comparison trap because you can see everybody else's success in one second, you know, like, oh, this person's more successful physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, in business. And change happens today. Like yesterday, yesterday if you failed, awesome, you're one step closer to succeeding today, you know. Almost like instead of counting all your successes, like count your failures. Even something like, oh, how many times can I fail this week? And if you don't fail enough, yo, you're not gonna get that success though, you know? So you have to be like, yes, I failed 17 times this week. Heck yes, you know, in that sense, because you're gonna take that and you're gonna mold it and use it as clay in order to change today, you know? So every single day is entirely, it's a reset button. It's a new start. You can change in any direction. Just because something happened yesterday doesn't mean that you can't switch directions today. You can. If you want a better body, you can change that today. If you want a better mindset, better friends, social groups, environment, no matter what it is, you can take actions and you can take— the first action is a thought. You have to actually want it. You can dream about it. You can think about it. You can flirt with the idea or whatnot, but at least put your attention there because that's where it all starts, you know. So if your thinking will change, then your emotions are going to change, then that's going to manifest into your actions, you know. So just keep on that attention right there, and you can change. Like, don't discourage yourself. You might not be where you want to be, but you can change. You can change. And that is something that I remind myself daily because I'm like— because it's so funny that When we feel a positive emotion, it's so easy for us to be like, aww, it sucks that vacation is over. I guess I have to go back to work tomorrow. We can already see that once it comes, it goes, you know, like we can see it when it feels good. But when it's a negative emotion, we feel like it's there to stay. I'm like, all right, come on in, negative emotion. I'll fix you a blanket and like I'll keep you here forever. Like we feel like it's never going to leave, you know, but they leave. They come and then they go, you know. So once that leaves, you know, and you have that clarity of mind and you're in an elevated state, then take those actions and take those steps. It's okay. You can be the person you want to be. Doesn't matter how old you are, doesn't matter what your past is, doesn't matter your emotions today, no matter what it is, you can take the steps and you can change. So that's something that's good for business and for personal life in my experience.

Absolutely. And I think a big point you said there, and I always tell people this, like failure is literally a part of success. And like you said, like instead of counting all your successes, I think counting your failures is actually better. And actually, like, and it sounds weird, but actually like going out and not trying to fail, but like allowing to fail. Yeah, but trying to fail. Yeah, because like, and being okay with it, you know, like, yeah, you gotta— it almost gets to a point where it's like funny. Like for my example on it was like I'm working on being a stand-up comedian just as like a side thing for fun. And I get up there and like sometimes it goes really well and then like sometimes like it just bombs and I've— it's awkward up there when it bombs, you know, like it's like shit, man, that wasn't good. And like I get red.

You're supposed to laugh, right though? Yeah, it's like, oh, that's good.

But like, but it's like once you can be okay with it, it almost— during it I don't enjoy the feeling, to be honest, but afterward I can laugh my ass off about it and be like, yo, that was a bad joke, man. And if you can seek that out, like seek out things that you have a chance to fail, then that means that you're reaching past like your potential limits, if you will, or extending yourself. Because if you're succeeding all the time, you're definitely not growing, you know what I mean?

Like, oh yeah, it's almost ammunition, whatnot, for relatability. Because we're such social creatures, we need connection to survive. That's not like a That would be nice if I had an extra carrot cake. Like, no, like, we need it. Like, so if you don't fail, you're never gonna taste failure. How the heck are you gonna relate to anybody else in the world? You're not. If you were born perfect, people would be like, um, so I hate you, please don't be around me ever, you know? Like, it's so good to be like, oh, I have this juicy story. Like, one time I made this stupid joke and it was terrible. People be like, ah, you're relatable, I love you, you know? It's good. We actually want it. Just like you were It sucks in the moment, but we want it.

Yeah, it is. It's so true because the story too, the story, um, that you can tell about it. So, so I think we may have covered it, but I'll still ask you, like, what's your best piece of overall business advice? So I think like what we spoke about there could relate to any, you know, business, but if you have more, we're always open to hear more.

Well, I got an answer for you. Okay, my best business advice is one that pretty much I'm giving to myself, but you weren't meant to do it alone. And I, for me, I always go by the, pretty much the principle of like, oh, well, I see my own vision, so no one else is gonna do it better than me. I'm gonna do it and it's gonna look like this, it's gonna be perfect, and I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. However, in that aspect that when I have main focus, I have so one focus of one goal, then I'm like, okay, here's my eye on the prize. But in order to make that happen, all these little pieces have to go into it. And I get distracted with my distractions. You know, like I get distracted with having to do this little thing in order to make this work and having this to do in order to make this work. And then I have to spend a lot of energy and a lot of time with all these little practicalities and all these little pieces in order to make the vision work. And sometimes it's necessary. Sometimes you have to do it. But time and time again, I put it all on myself and then I get overwhelmed and I get stressed and then I lose track of what I'm actually trying to do because I have to sit there and learn something else that's not even part of my expertise. The one thing that I found so incredibly helpful, I'm sure have you heard of the website Fiverr?

Yeah.

Oh, well, if your listeners don't know, Fiverr is this amazing website where you can go on, you can hire all these external people to do all your like nitpicky work like for business and whatnot. Like logos, videos, intros, outros, editing, all these different things. And it has helped me so much in that sense of just delegating. Just delegating. And it's really awesome because I love being creative and whatnot. I've worked with a lot of creatives and sometimes creatives can act like as a mom-and-pop shop where it's like, oh yeah, things are gonna be really inconsistent. My communication is going to be terrible with you. I'm going to give you like kind of okay work and I'm going to cost you, you know, charge you a million dollars. This is even more stressful than doing it myself. Fiverr is like a really awesome like transactional place where it's all professional whatnot and you get amazing, amazing results and whatnot on different things and the price is amazing and you can just delegate. So doing that and then getting opinions of like your friends, your family, you know, just asking for help. People want to help you if you have a vision. If you have something that's you're going for, they're so more than willing to help you. All you have to do is just ask and you can delegate, you can bring people together, you can create a community, and you can grow your business and be financially or just, you know, more successful than if you were just by yourself. So especially with the entrepreneur mindset, of course, like, I'm self-made, I am the only person who can do anything. Like, you can't do it alone, you know? So like, give that up. Just give it up. You weren't meant to do it alone. You're meant to do do it together. You know, we're stronger together. Like floss, I can just break that string right then and there, but a rope, you know, that's gonna be a little bit harder to break, you know. So like doing it together is just, it's so much better. So that would be my personal advice. That's something that I have to remind myself on a daily basis, you know.

Yeah, absolutely. No, and so two big points there, right? So first thing is, and I find this with a lot of entrepreneurs, is that A lot of time you start out, you become an entrepreneur because you want full control, right? So in the beginning, you wear all the hats, like you do everything. But what's funny is to get to like the next level, you actually have to let go and delegate, like you're saying, um, to others. Because you can't— and it depends what your goals are and things of that nature— but like, if you want to have a company that grows, let's say, past 7 figures, you can't do that all on your own. Like, most likely not. Like, you need to delegate. Like, you need people from Fiverr or full-time employees. You need to let go of the control that you desired so much. And yeah, so it's funny how it's like what we got into it for, to grow in it, you actually have to be the opposite.

How funny is that?

Yeah, so that. And then the second thing, just to highlight what you said, is, um, is like people want to help you. So Uh, what I find interesting is it's like, uh, a lot of people are like scared to reach out to people that may be more successful than them, or, and I don't like to say above or whatever because I think we're all equal no matter what your financial—

but that could be your perception in business. I, I understand.

Yes. So just like, whatever, like bigger. Um, but the thing is, is like once you have success, like you and you— everybody likes to help people regardless. But I feel like once you have success, you like to give back. So it's like when you ask, say you ask somebody to be your mentor or something, and you feel like you're taking away from their time and that it's all, that's all a take, try to reframe that a little bit and realize that it feels good to give. So like, yes, maybe they're helping you, but you're also in some way helping them as well because it's fulfilling a need of giving back. So don't be afraid, family, you know, anything. Don't be afraid to like ask for help, and you need the help to grow. So like you said, the rope, um, I just think that's big because a lot of people are afraid. They're like, I don't— I have to do this on my own, or like, I'm afraid to ask this person. It's like, dude, I'll ask anybody, man. I don't care.

It's also super scary, uh, admitting that you have no idea what you're doing.

Yeah, that's true.

Like when you're starting out, you're like, well, I want to put on my professional hat and I want everybody to come to me and opening up their wallets and going, yes, your majesty, you are the best, you know, especially with entrepreneurship, you know, but starting out and being like, hello, I need help because I have no idea what I'm doing, can you help me? Like just being vulnerable to do that will strengthen you because if you don't do that, then you're never going to get stronger, then you'll just be in that, you'll just be really vulnerable and quiet and not knowing what you're doing alone, you know, like you're not gonna go anywhere, you know. So I think honesty, you know, and just allowing yourself to, to just start, you know, I think it's huge.

Absolutely, man. And that's the thing where it's like the whole fake it till you make it thing is, I don't really dig it because it's like If you fake it, I think it's so hard to make it then, you know. So, it's like if you're just real in the upfront and you just like build this mastermind of like smart people around you from you being honest with them, letting them know where you want to be and where you currently are, they're all willing to help. You'll get to where you want to be so much faster if you're just honest with everybody rather than like fake it. So, I don't know. That's a whole nother thing maybe, but the fake it thing—

People respect that too. They respect vulnerability and they respect openness. You know?

Yeah.

Because they're like, oh yeah, I've been there. I know you're totally— yeah, everybody has, everybody has felt those emotions. If you pretend and fake that you don't, they're like, yo, you know, they're like, yeah, you're putting on a show and we can see right through you and you know it and I know it.

For sure.

You just won't get the help that you need.

We've all been there in the beginning. So, um, so now we'll talk about your younger self. So if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?

Patience. Yeah, patience, my dear. Patience, patience, patience. And that sense of when I was in college and I was going through all those things, I had no idea what to do with this desire and craving that I had. I was like, I want to live my life the best way possible. How the heck do I turn this passion into a career. Like what the heck, you know, like I didn't know like life transformational coaching like was even a thing, you know, that I could help people, help them become the best versions of themselves. That was always my mantra. I was like I want to help people become the best versions of themselves, but I don't know what to do with that, you know, there's not help people become the best version of themselves school.com, you know, like that's not a thing, you know, so I'm like I don't know what to do with myself, you know, so I'd like, you know, I got into, I was like okay, well I guess I can help myself because the best version of myself. So, you know, I put all my energy towards myself. Like, I was like, okay, how can I master— like, as soon as I got out of school, I was like, how can I master myself physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially? So I created all these, like, healthy habits and whatnot, but I felt like I was a hamster on a treadmill of just going like, okay, now, well, now that I've, like, you know, did some good things with myself, how— what the heck do I do with all of this? You know, like, I don't know what to do with myself. And I was like, okay, I just need to be patient and allow things to unravel. But being patient is so hard when you don't know the end result. Oh my gosh, it's like torture, you know? So just sitting there and allowing things to play out. And then when I was able to discover this, I was like, awesome, heck yes, now I can able to do something with this. But what do I do from here? You know, like taking it one step at a time and just being patient with myself and being patient with the process. And allowing things. And it's funny that grace happens way more than we give it credit for. Grace happens so much and we almost can expect it if you just keep going and you keep just trying your best. Just trying your best and your best looks different in every area. Your best looks different when you're tired, when you're energetic, when you're drunk, when you stayed up too late. Like your best looks different in all those areas, but if you just keep staying and just keep trying your best It'll come. Like, things will happen and fall into place. The more that you pay attention to the world around you, the more that you realize, I swear somebody has written a script for all this. Everything just like in line and in place. It's so weird when you pay attention. It is so weird. You're like, wow, everything's kind of perfect. You know, like, it's strange, you know. So you just have to be patient and just trust the process. Trust that everything is happening exactly the way that it needs to, not the way that you expect expect, but the way that it needs to happen, and things will always fall in line. So as long as we just trust the process and just be patient, it's going to be okay. Things will unravel the way that it needs to. So if I was to give one piece of advice for my younger me, it's just hold on, keep going, try your best every day, and just be patient. It's gonna—

I agree. It is funny. I agree so much. And, um, One thing too, I always tell people too, it's like the beginning is, is, um, is the hardest part in my opinion. But there is such thing as like momentum. Like momentum is real. So it's like if you can even just like kind of embody that and just realize that, yo, the beginning is the hardest part. Like before you get your first few clients and you're not really sure, like proof of concept, like all those things, like you were saying, there's no like, um, like necessarily like coaching like you were talking about. There's no like school for it. So like you were kind of creating something new in a sense. So it's like, okay, first I gotta prove the concept. But once you get those first couple wins, momentum really takes over. Like, momentum, confidence kicks in. Yeah, it's real. Like, once you like make impact with a few people, you're like, okay, this is real, let's go. And then you go all in and it's— yeah, exactly. So allow yourself to have patience to taste it because sometimes it could take maybe a couple months. Sometimes it could take a year to taste it, you know. And sometimes you got to work a job maybe that you don't like. It's possible to make ends meet while you're pursuing what you want to pursue, and that's okay too, um, you know. But just don't— understand, like you said, grace. Like, it, it does always seem to fall in place so much so that it is almost weird. It's like, so yeah, that could be a We'll do a whole nother one on that, where we dive deep into the origins of what is going on here.

Seriously, we live in a crazy place. What is happening? I love it.

So next one for you is, in your opinion, what is the key to happiness?

In my opinion, the key to happiness sustainable happiness is self-awareness. Self-awareness in the sense of knowing the separation between what you have control over and what you don't, because the things that you don't have control over, if you can identify those, you can let them go. Ha! You don't have to worry about them. They are out of your control. What a blessing. You don't have to worry about it. You don't have to stress about it. You don't have to cry about it. You don't have to get angry about it. It is out of your control. Let it go. Now you are at peace. And then the other end where you have control, now you have the power to change those things. You are like, oh shoot, I have control if I want to have a really buff body. Go to the gym. You know, like, oh, I have control over, you know, the type of people who I want to hang out with. Go seek out those people. You have a cell phone. You can find all these different groups and communities and all these different things. And having that action gives you power that you can and the power of confidence and it makes you feel alive, you know, going forward. You're either growing or you're dying and growing feels so good. Oh, it feels so good. It's the best feeling sensation ever. So if you just focus all of your energy on the things that you can control, then you're able to go in the direction that you want to go, the direction that you want to grow. And then of course the part that, that you can't control sometimes interferes, but as long as you're able to recognize it, then you're able to be like, oh, okay, cool. Now I know that I can't control that. Okay, let me carry on. And then feeling in that you can grow in the way that excites you, that makes you feel alive, that makes you feel passionate. And then you're at peace, which makes you feel happy, you know, and then you're able to just be in awareness. So the more that you're able to be aware of yourself, all the different areas of yourself, your physical self, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, financial, business-wise, you know, like basically it's the most awareness on who you are, where you are, who everybody else is, and what you're doing here. Because those are the big fundamental questions of everything. So if you're able to just to think about and kind of sit in awareness as much as you can, then you're able to go, okay, there's no way that I'm able to understand that, so I have peace with it. Peace. I do, I can understand this and I'm going to be plugged into the game because pretty much life is like a video game, you know, like you're kind of, you're plugged in and you're this character and you're like, okay, where do I want my character to go? Okay, I'm gonna have my character go over here. But as far as you know, as far as you know, you didn't choose to be a character in the video game. I wouldn't, I didn't choose to be, I didn't choose to be born as far as I know. I don't know. So yeah, I didn't choose to be here, but I find myself here. So I'm like, okay, so I'm here. And the more— have you ever had something where you felt you were too cool for a situation so you tapped out of it? People don't like that. You know, you're like, oh, I'm too cool to dance at a party. You get tapped out of it. I'm too cool to do all these things, or I'm too spiritual, I'm too aware to do all these things, so you tap out of it. The more that you tap out of the game, the more that you lose the game. So like, I feel like the best way to live your life is to play the game the best way that you can. You have to be plugged into the game. You have to play it the best way possible, and that's when you look back and that's when you have the accomplishments. Because life is a story, you know, like your humble beginnings and you're just this little thing, and then you grow and you become, you know, this person, and then you have the climax of your experience, then you come down, then you die, you know. Like it's a story, you know, we all live a story, you know, all different versions of it, but it's all a story. So if we're able to just get plugged into the story, recognize that we're in this video game pretty much, and we get plugged into the story, become as self-aware as possible of all those questions— who am I, who are you, what are we doing here, and how can I do this the best way possible— yo, that's— that'll make you feel good, you know, that'll make you feel really good. You'll have a lot of joy, a lot of excitement, and you'll be able to find a lot of energy instead of external energy— food and energy drinks and other people. You don't need to take energy from external things. It all comes from inside of you. So It's, it's getting plugged into the main source, you know, God, source energy, wherever, wherever you want to call it, you know, you're getting plugged in. So that's, it's like, it's like our power source, you know, it's like, that's the, that's the power source of the game. So if you get plugged into that power source, yo, you got unlimited energy.

Yeah, I agree, dude. I'll just, uh, I'll stop saying I agree, but I do. Um, and the biggest thing too is that, and I think this is like the key to unhappiness is trying to control the things that are out of your control. And I think, like, I don't know the percentage, but it might be 99% of people that do that. Like, they're trying to control things or they're unhappy about things that are out of their control. And I think it's like a great exercise to do is to just get a piece of paper, put a line down the middle, middle of it, and list the things that are out of your control and the things that are in your control. And then, like you said, just be at peace with the ones that are out of your control and like literally allow them to remove, like, out of your mind. Because it's, it's like you're trying to like catch your tail, like you can't, it's not possible. So it's like, yeah, um, and so many—

such a good key point too with writing things down. You, you can't see what you can't see. I have no idea what's going on in my mind, but Putting things down, writing them down, you're able to align your thoughts, which aligns your emotions. You know, it's way more harder to run yourself than to run a city. You know, you can see a city, but you can't see what's going on inside. So like writing those things down, it sounds so like, oh yeah, that's too easy. I'm not gonna do it. I'll just listen to it on the podcast and then do it in my head and then call it a day. But like really actually doing that, it doesn't take that much energy, by the way. By the way. I'm sure as you know, but just writing that down or just journaling, writing down your thoughts, that it takes everything out here, puts it in existence. You're able to categorize it and make sense of it, which allows you to let go of those things. You know, I think a lot of the times what gives us a lot of anxiety and a lot of negative emotions is when things aren't organized. You know, that's just like your physical space. If you're like walked into your room in your house and stuff's everywhere where you're like, the anxiety! You're just like, it's messy, which makes my head messy, you know? So like, your head is messy, you got thoughts and emotions and all this stuff going on. So if you just take them, put it out there, organize them, then you'll find a lot more peace and a lot quicker too. So I think you brought up such a good point. I totally align with that.

So next one is What is the best book that you've read and what's the number one thing you learned from it?

Okay, my number one favorite book— have you ever read The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer?

Yes, I have, yeah.

Oh, so then perfect, then we could talk about it. So the number one thing that— so this book is pretty much a lot of the things I was just explaining. So it's going a lot on who you are you are, because a lot of the times we are just reflections on the experience around us. So if someone's like, oh, like if you're, you know, when you're a child, you're just like a video camera with legs pretty much. You absorb everything. You're a sponge. So when someone's like, you are amazing, you're like, I guess I'm amazing. Like, you are terrible. I guess I'm terrible. Like, we just absorb and we take those things as true. However, those are just opinions. So we grow up to be just mirrors of reality, of pretty much everything that's been thrown at us. So when we grow up and we mature, we realize, oh wait, those were just reflections, but who's behind the mirror? You know, what's going on behind that? Who am I really? I'm not just a person. I'm not just a wife or a mother or a sister or a brother or a doctor or, you know, someone who's shy, extroverted, introverted. I'm not just these adjectives. Who's behind those things? and the more that you're able to understand who's behind those things, the more that you realize that everybody else is on that same wave. Because I like to think of people as everybody's a door. Everybody's like a walking door, and you can go up to any of those doors, and when you knock on the door, sometimes you have to knock louder and harder and longer than other doors, but when eventually when you knock on somebody's door, eventually the door opens, and when the door opens, you know, everybody's door is decorated differently. They all look different, their own style and swag and whatnot. So when you knock on the door, eventually the door opens, and on the inside of the door is a mirror, and that mirror is you're seeing yourself. You know, we're all made of the same stuff, but we all have different exteriors, so we look different, you know. So the more that you do more self-realization and more self-awareness awareness, the more that you realize that everybody else is also you too. We're all reflections of each other. So that brings so much more understanding and clarity of the world around you because then you realize that there is no bad intentions because you've never had a bad intention. Your intention is to live your life the best way that you can, and sometimes that looks nasty. You know, if I'm trying to get back at you, I'm trying to live my best life by putting you down. You know, I have a good intention. Still. So if you realize that about yourself, you realize that everybody else is operating the same exact way. You know, so you're like, oh, that's why anyone would do anything. You know, so the more that you realize who you are, the more that you realize who everybody else is, which brings a lot more happiness and clarity to your life because all we want is connection. You know, that's our main, our main goal. Everything that we do is to connect with somebody else. You know, I want to be super successful and have a lot of money so I can be Connected. I really want to have this awesome outfit so I can go out to the club so I can get laid. Connection. You know, so I can make a lot of money for, you know, my family. Connection. No matter, you know, so I can get a lot of huge following or all these people will love me or I can be the president. Connection. Everything is connection. So I think if we focus on ourselves and we can be connected with others, then we can find a life of satisfaction.

That was beautiful.

What did you get out of the book?

Honestly, so I'm, uh, I'm glad you asked that. It was like 3 years ago, uh, when I moved to Miami and I was listening to it. And I don't, uh, on audiobook, I don't fully remember, um, like everything about— as much as far as I remember, it's about the author's Michael A. Singer, right?

Correct.

Yeah. So he like, I, as far as I remember, like he gets really successful in the book, but it doesn't necessarily like make him that much happier. And then what happens is I think he like opens up this like spiritual community, right? And then like a lot of people like come in and what— and his businesses, I think it's a software company or something, like continues to grow and that's great. But where he finds the most fulfillment— and correct me if I'm wrong because I'm not fully remembering it— is this like spiritual center that he builds. And allows people to actually, I believe, come for free, that that's where he ends up getting a lot of his fulfillment from, is like actually like being with those people in that like spiritual center, like out, I think it's like out in the woods somewhere. Is that accurate?

I actually have no idea.

Oh, okay.

No clue, but I'm listening. I'm engaged.

Yeah. Okay. So no, that's what I remember. That's what I remember about it. I should probably give it a re-listen. Um, but yeah, it was 3 years ago, so I don't fully remember saying that in the book.

Was that in the book?

I believe it was, yeah. When did you last listen to it or read it?

Um, probably a couple months ago. I kind of—

okay, you're right. So like, listen, this podcast has been going so well, so I want everybody to understand what I just said may not be true.

Okay, who knows? I guess we'll both have to Do a re-listen.

Yeah, yeah, but that's what I remember about it. But if you were 3 months ago and I'm 3 years ago, chances are you're on the right path. I am, uh, misconfigured.

Or maybe that's what he does outside of it, you know. Maybe you've heard that from somebody else or something like that.

That might be—

that's what he's doing now, maybe after the book.

Might be. So I wanted to ask you too, have you ever heard of this guy Alan Watts?

Have you ever heard of him? Yes.

Okay, cool. What do you like about him?

Okay, cool. The thing that I love about Alan Watts is that he brings so much lightness and so much humor to life. And it's so funny when we go to all these gurus who are like, let me tell you about life. It's the most serious thing that you'll ever have to deal with. I'm like, yo, life is not meant to be this like crazy, super deep and heavy sensation. Life is supposed to feel light, you know, and like full of laughter and joy and whatnot. And I think that's a lot of the tone that he brings. And he brings— he recognizes a lot of like the ridiculousness of life and he just laughs about it. And I love that. I'm just like, life is so ridiculous and I love how he just totally embodies it.

Yeah, no, he's— I'm glad, uh, if you hadn't heard of him, I was gonna be like, yo, you'll love him. So he's I— he's like my spiritual guy. Like, that's who, like, every day. So that's cool. Uh, we could even—

what do you like about him the most?

Oh my gosh, so much. Uh, I think one thing that I remember, uh, that he kind of— he says it in a lot of different ways because, like you were saying, like, his voice, first off, unbelievable. Um, just great voice, you know? You can just— it is, it rings the ears, like, it's good shit. Um, But he says that like you can't have one without the other, so like darkness and light. So one big thing that I got out of listening to him over and over again is like it's— they are the same thing in a sense because you can't have one without the other. So like if you do fail or something negative does happen in your life, it is actually— if you view it this way, it can be like a reflector Right? So, it's like, yes, this horrible thing happened to you, but like now everything else is like, if this is the worst, then anything you're going through in life that's difficult, you can kind of almost compare it to that and be like, yo, this ain't that bad. Like I went through this. Like it's a reflection. So, instead of getting held up on it, you can almost view it as like, and it sounds weird, but it bringing more light to your life actually because it's a reflector. So yeah, and just the way he— oh, one thing he says too is like you didn't come into this earth, you came out of it. So, you know, regardless of everybody's like, you know, beliefs and things of that, I find that to be like it feels good to feel like not like a visitor to the earth but rather a part of it. And that makes you even feel more connected with everyone. Like you were saying, like we're all one. So yeah, those are two pretty big things for me.

I'd say, yeah, I love that. I think it's this, this sounds so weird, like totally contradicting, but like everything that is also isn't, and everything that also isn't also is, you know, like the paradox.

I love it.

Like you need that contrast, like you can't have one without the other. You can't be like, oh, there's so much sunshine today. Well, if everything was made out of sunshine, there wouldn't be sunshine. Just like, you know, explaining water to a fish, you know, or whatnot. You need to have the contrast in order to experience the other side. So that's why it's so good when we're in the experience. It seems like we don't like it. Seems like we don't like the darkness, you know. But yeah, everything was light, we wouldn't know what light is. We would just be in it. I think that's probably what it is. I mean, I my mind can't comprehend it because I'm only a human being with a human mind. But I think that's probably what it is outside of this reality, like going back to energy source, God, consciousness, whatever you want to call it. That's probably what it is, just like forever that.

Yeah.

But in order to experience itself, you have to go in nothingness in order to look at it, you know? So it's like I'm looking at you through this space and even though we're all made of the same stuff, we're all totally connected, I'm totally buying the illusion that we're separate. So like, I'm able to like check myself out.

You know, definitely. Yeah, you, you've listened to Alan Watts before for sure.

That's good.

And one thing he brings up too, it's like funny because, you know, he like brings humor to it like you said. So he's like, um, he's like, the word nothing is, is no thing. So you can't even have nothing without a thing. Like, it is, it's no thing.

Nothing is such a thing. Like, what is that concept? Yeah.

So, and that's where it's like, you can't have one without the other. So yeah. Um, so although we see separate, we are really not separate. Um, So that was, that was good talk there.

Where are we? What's going on? Really?

So next one is, what is your favorite quote and why?

My favorite quote is, take a chance. All life is, is a chance. The person who goes the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and Dare. The sure thing boat never gets far from the shore. Be the one to take the chance. Take the jump! And that's my favorite quote. I think it's from Dale Carnegie, and I love this quote because it gets you out of your comfort zone in that sense. It allows you to give yourself permission to be alive. If you're just sitting at home all day in your house, you'd be like, I'm so safe in my house and now I'm really bored. And I think boredom is the worst emotion that we could possibly experience. And that's it. It's a void. You know, when you're sitting there and you're bored and you're like, I need to do something. Like you're literally asking, you'd rather have pain than nothing. You know? So we're saying we'd rather feel than not feel at all. So even though like when we're standing on the edge of the cliff and we get that adrenaline rush and we get all that stuff, we're like, oh, this is so uncomfortable, but it's experience. We value experience over no experience at all. That's why even like, and that's even programmed in us biologically, you know, like we fight for our lives to the death even if we're, you know, even if we think our life is a piece of crap, you know, we're like, no, I need to survive. Like it's so ingrained in us. It's so ingrained with our programming. They're like, no, I want to be alive. I want to experience more than anything. So if we just taking that step and taking that jump, you'll be able to experience. That's the whole point of being here is to experience and to live. And the best way to do that is to get outside of your comfort zone. You can't just be sitting on your house being safe all the time. You'll be safe to death. Might as well just start burying your grave now. You know, like, get out there. Take the jump. So much more alive, so much more energetic, so much more powerful, and so much more happy when you just take the jump. And sometimes, you know, it's so good to have support of like friends and family and whatnot, you know, to be in your corner to say like, yeah, you know, you can do it and all that stuff. But however, friends and family, especially parents, their role in life is protection. So they're going to be the ones that are telling you, oh, you know, You don't need to take the jump 'cause they're risking you jumping and hurting yourself or dying, you know? And if they lose you, not only is your life lost, but they feel like that they have a huge loss. So like their happiness is at risk as well. And that's really good to have the role of protection 'cause we can die, we can hurt ourselves. So it's good to be protected. But I also feel like it's also so good to have a lot of people in your life, external people, are strangers because they're not afraid to lose you. So if you're around people who can encourage you, they'll be like, yeah, you're here and you want to get there? Yo, jump! They'll encourage you. So I think it's so good to be around people you don't know, be around strangers. And you know, of course you don't want to be around, you know, those weird people that are like, yeah man, you should totally jump off this cliff. Yeah, like, use your intuition. You got that for a reason, you know. You'll know when it's good advice and when It's not, but like be around people who aren't always going to act as an act of protection from you. You need to take the jump in order to feel alive, in order to succeed in your life, you know. You need to give and you need to get, you know. Getting is happiness and giving is fulfillment. So you just need to be around, you know, those type of people who are going to make you feel that way. And if they don't encourage you, take the jump because yo, we need that encouragement though, you know. We need that extra push sometimes.

So I think I, I love, I love that ending. Take the jump. That's it. Take the jump. Um, listen, it was a freaking blast. Um, my last one for you, I'm sure everybody listening wants to know, where can they connect with you online?

So the number one place as the main central place is through Instagram. So everybody can just find me on Instagram. That's where I do most, that's where I do everything. So my Instagram is Rocky, like Rocky Balboa, R-O-C-K-Y, and then last name Diehm, like carpe diem, D-I-E-H-M. So come and find me. I'd love to talk with you and connect with you and see what you thought about all our discussions that we've been going on. We had some good discussions today, Tyler.

Yo, it was amazing. I loved every second of it. Second of it. And again, I thank you for coming on.

Thank you for having me. I appreciate you.