Jim Heaney: Choosing Presence | The Authors Unite Show #940

All right everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Authors Unite show. Today I have Jim Heaney with us. Welcome to the show, man.

Uh, pleasure to be here.

Awesome, man, pumped to have you on. So if you can start us off, just tell us a little bit more about you and what you do.

I'm actually a businessman and I'm semi-retired, but I've been actually practicing presence and teaching presence for approximately 20 years in the jail system as well as giving talks teach in groups teaching. And it's, it's something that's needed very much by everybody. I don't know anyone, including myself, that doesn't need to be more present.

Yeah, I agree. I remember my initial presence journey, if you will, was I read this book called The Presence Process when I was like 20 years old. I think, 20 or 21. And then, I can't remember the name of this other one. It was, I think, his name was Michael Singer. I've read a book by him and then, I started to get into meditation and I guess, I could say, I experienced multiple occasions of the present moment but I think, it's typical. You kind of go in and out of it, you know. So, the one thing that caught me there, there's 3 things actually but the first one was in the jail system. So, Is that where you started teaching this presence, like in jail systems? Is that what you said?

Yeah, roughly around 20 years ago. Then I moved it into private, you know, my home, teaching it, classes of my own, giving talks to different groups. But the jail system, first of all, it's needed. But going back to what you said initially, you know, you've read some books about Presence, which is good. And all the books written about presence are good. And the reason I wrote this book, after practicing it and teaching it for 20 years, all the book, just about all the books about presence, even though they are good, they don't talk about how to do it. How do you access God's presence in your daily life and connect with God's spiritual energy, which is— spirit is, this is from Webster's Dictionary, the force within a person that is believed to give the body life, energy, and power. And it seems as though we've lost connection with that power. And by losing connection with that power, What it's made very obvious to us is today in our society, anxiety, stress, worry, lack of self-esteem, inner fears is just causing so much suffering that really does not have to be.

Yeah, I completely agree. So let's start back from the beginning. So you said business and then we'll work our way up here because obviously I think that's what people want to know is like how do we get into the present moment? What are the practices that we can be taking to get there. So, you said you were a business— so, before a businessman, when you were younger, like, your career, is it where you saw yourself, like, becoming when you were younger? Or was there something that, like, happened that you then became a businessman? And then, obviously, elaborate on, like, what you actually did.

Yeah. Well, I've been in business for over 35 years. I'm not, I'm not Retired? I'm not retired.

Oh, okay. Gotcha. Gotcha.

Our children actually now run our business.

Oh, fantastic. I like that. Cool.

And they do an excellent job. I oversee it, but they run the day-to-day. And well, I've probably been, I've been on a spiritual journey for many years, probably 30, 35 years and all good. Anytime you actually, let's say, realize you have to connect with a power greater than you and you go on a spiritual journey, all the actions we take normally are very good. But the practice of presence is different. It— I'll give you an example. If we were to say to ourselves, Anytime that I have anxiety, worries, fears, lack of self-esteem, and I said, am I in the present moment now? The answer 100% of the time would be no. Now, anytime that we felt inner calm, freedom, just a sense of peace within ourselves. And I said to myself, am I in the present moment? 100% of the time, the answer would be yes. So we've identified what the issue, what the issue is. And the issue is, for all of us, is all the compulsive, repetitive, negative thinking. It is absolutely making us suffer far too much. And what just too many people don't realize is that there is a choice. When you choose to practice presence, there's certain very specific things we do. Okay? We start the morning with a daily practice. And by the way, I've made, in addition to the book Choosing Presence, which is on Amazon, I've made a free app. It's called Practicing Presence: A Christian Way. And it makes the practice of presence much easier for the average person to do. It takes away a lot of the resistance. So what we do is we start a morning practice. Okay? We can go anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes or longer. And we set a timer and it walks us right through it. If we follow that, we're going to get it real quick. And then it gives us an hourly reminder. But an hourly reminder, not just hourly reminder, is to remind us to take 3 conscious breaths with the right intention. And the intention always is to connect with God's spiritual energy, that power I mentioned earlier. And when we do it consistently, what happens is we do what we call inner condition ourselves. And we're going to condition ourselves to a point where we become very aware of what's happening inside. And as we feel unease build up, we know we have a choice. Come back to the present moment through the breath and we stop the normal cycle, which is negative thoughts, negative emotions, negative reactions. We're able to catch it at thought before it causes us negative emotions and negative reactions, which is the core of our suffering.

So what do you think, like, what is, I guess, causing it the most right now in society? Like, you know, there's a lot of talk with like technology, phones, and all that. Like, it's it's causing more and more anxiety for people. And obviously with what's going on currently with the coronavirus and everything, like, I guess the question is, how do you get— because the more you try to be present, it's almost like a paradox, right? Because if you're trying so hard to be present, then you're in your head so much that you're not present. So it's almost like this thing that you have to let happen, but you have to know how to let it happen. Does that make sense?

Yes, it absolutely does. And what that— how we do it, okay, is basically what God told us to do. Be still and know that I am God. But in order to be still consistently, we have to actually practice presence. So let's say again, that morning practice, those grounding ourselves every hour in the present moment, taking 3 conscious breaths or more necessary, no matter what it takes. See, all of us know this, but we really are not very aware that how often it happens. Whenever we are outside the present moment, what we call unconsciousness, We are living through memory or anticipation. We're thinking or obsessing about something that did happen or thinking or obsessing about something that might happen. And it's in that unconscious space that we create all our inner fears and conflicts, always. As we practice presence consistently, and again, we inner condition ourselves to know when we're getting too far out of the present moment, when inner unease is building up, which turns into negative emotions and negative reactions.

Gotcha. So, um, let's say, um, this— so you have your book Choosing Presence. A lot of our listeners, they are, uh, they're authors and aspiring authors. So I'm curious, and then I want to come back to the book's content then, but What was it like writing your book? Like, did you have any sort of practices beforehand that allowed you to sit down, be present, and actually write a book? Because, you know, a lot of people want to write a book, but it's very difficult for them. So what was that journey like for you for writing the book?

Well, as I said, teaching presence for 20 years, but presence has been also primary in my life over that period of time. And by what I mean primary is I recognize, especially 15 years ago, practiced presence 5 years before, let's say. But about 15 years ago, I recognized it had to be primary because there's nothing more important than what is my state of consciousness at this moment, as it is for all of us. And once I realized that I truly have a choice, practicing presence becomes a very easy practice to do. Because what makes us keep coming back to it is the unmistakable difference of what we experience inside when we are consciously present compared to when we are unconscious. When we are conscious, we always have a sense of calm or peace at some level. Now, presence is not a permanent state because there's too many distractions in each of our lives, but It is a state we can come back to over and over again throughout the day. And as I always say, God never leaves the present moment. We do. And the power— I talk about the power and peace of the present moment because it truly is a power. It has the power to change our awareness of our inner well-being. And when we sense that inner awareness deteriorating and becoming negative, we know exactly what to do because that spiritual energy is always present in this moment. We just have to stop all the inner negative dialogue.

So what— and I apologize if maybe we skipped over this, but what— was there an event in your life that like really motivated you to start studying presence? You know, because I think you said 25, 30 years ago is when you started it. So like—

Well, I started a spiritual journey.

Spiritual journey. Oh yeah. So what led to that?

Right. And everything was great. You know, I certainly went to church every Sunday. I was involved in parish ministries. And then about 20 years ago, I went to something what we call a men's rite of passage by Father Richard Rohr. Okay. And it was a life-changing event for me. And that's in that experience over 4 or 5 days, I realized, wow, I'm missing something here. And that's when I actually started practicing presence. And actually, the teacher, Richard Rohr, was actually what I call my pointer. He pointed me toward presence. And I've just continued to grow in it over and over again throughout the last 20 years.

Gotcha. Okay.

There's simply nothing more important. And if the average person and they said to themselves, okay, what is my deepest, what do I want deepest within myself to change to be better? So you can only find that through stillness. You got to stop the noise because when we stop the noise, we're in reality. And when we're in reality, guess what? Real life breaks through.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that makes sense. And I think it's interesting again, is it's where people, they will find anything to distract themselves. Because it's almost like when, when you're in that present moment, that's when the realness of what's going on in your life comes out. So if you're, if you're unsure if you're going to like that, then you avoid it through multiple different things. But the only way to fix it is to confront it. And the only way to confront it is to know what it is. And the only way to know what it is, is to be present.

Correct. What the power of presence does for us is this: it's not so much what we do, it's what's being done to us when we bring in stillness. Because what we actually do is surrender to the spiritual power of the present moment, and it truly is a power. And It's like any time, I'll give you an example. Any time that you or me had what we call a present moment, or I would call a spiritual moment, we saw a beautiful sunset, okay, or a beautiful sunrise, especially if we had a young, one of our children in our arms and we're holding them and we say Wow, there is nothing better than this. See, that is the core of spirituality. That love, that unconditional love that flowed from you to the child, is actually accessible to you always. But that love you didn't create. And you cannot control. You can only be present to it. That is the power and peace of the present moment. It's a power beyond us, but at the same time, it's working through us. And we absolutely know it. If someone tells me, if I'm giving a class or a talk or whatever it is, yeah, I think I was present. I tell them, no, you weren't. It's unmistakable.

Yeah.

It's not something you think you were. You know there's an unmistakable difference in how and what you feel, what you experience inside. You cannot deny the difference.

Yeah, I agree. And I'm curious on your thoughts on this. I, you know, obviously, I— you can tap into it at any time, but I do think certain environments make it easier to tap into it. What I discovered when I was younger, I lived in this place, it's called Encinitas in San Diego. It's like 45 minutes. Yeah, you're familiar players. It's a very— they— a lot of people that live there, they call it like a vortex, like it just has this energy about it. So I lived there for 4 years. I believe it was right next to this place called the Self-Realization Fellowship, and like Yogananda has history there. And there's this place called the Meditation Gardens. So I lived right down the road from there. And not every morning, but almost every morning, I would go to the Meditation Gardens. There's like these cliffs, and like becoming present in that location was dramatically easier than like being in Philadelphia where I was, uh, born and raised— not where I was born and raised, um, when it's like freezing cold out, you know what I mean? Like, that is just more difficult. So have you found like certain environments that make it easier to tap into it?

Well, I'll give you an example. We have a house in the mountains, but you know, Big Bear Mountain.

Yeah, yeah, Big Bear.

Okay, my house is there on Big Bear Lake. Now, if I go back 30 years, which I said 30 years ago, the only place I really am present and really connect with God's spirit is when I went to Big Bear. Now, as I started practicing presence, especially 15 years ago, when I talked earlier about inner conditioning.

Yeah.

See, when you practice it consistently, guess what? Whether I'm in Big Bear now or I'm in Times Square in New York, I can have the same experience. Oh, because as we practice presence, we grow in presence. And when people, I think, who try and practice presence or meditate, I think what they miss is it can't just be done in the morning. You have to keep close to the present moment throughout the day with the right intention. And that right intention is connect with God's spiritual energy throughout the day. And some of us might say, well, you know, that's too hard, I can't do that. Actually, you can't afford not to do it. Because every time you're breathing, you have zero negativity. Every time you're consciously breathing and every time you are aware of the present moment, there can be no negativity in it because it doesn't exist in the present moment. We bring it into the present moment. And when we bring it into the present moment, as you talked about earlier, different locations, let's say, or environments, they completely distract you. When you are inner conditioned, guess what doesn't matter? We actually say it in the book. I don't like crowds. Okay? We have an apartment in New York and we go there for about 3 months a year. I grew up in Brooklyn.

Okay, gotcha.

And we go back there 3 months a year in the spring and in the fall. I do not like crowds per se. Okay. So we go down, my wife wanted to go to Times Square, some store. So we went into Times Square and first I went into resistance. I went, no, I don't want to do this. Then I started breathing. Within 2 minutes, I was completely at peace, completely calm. And I was saying to myself, wow, even I can't believe this is actually happening. But that is what inner conditioning is. If we do it intermittently, we're not going to inner condition ourselves. And like I say, we can't think our way into presence. But we can think our way into stress, anxiety, inner fears, inner conflicts, doubt, lack of self-esteem. And we do it all the time. And we always do it when we're in that unconscious state. And as we inner condition ourselves, we realize we truly have a choice. And this is a power that we're not creating. And we can't control it. So it humbles us every day. As Thomas Merton says, "Humility is the surest sign of strength." And it is. When we can realize that we can actually tap into the spiritual power that God told us is with us always, in his presence, and it actually happens, Is there anything better than that? I don't think so.

Yeah, I agree. I love— that's a great quote, though. So I wanted to ask you too about, like, if somebody is already at that point of, like, extreme anxiety or, like, a panic attack, do you have any recommendation on how to dial it back? Because, like, for me, for example, I've had a panic anxiety attack before. And it's like so extreme that like once you're there, it's really hard to like bring it back. So obviously, you know, the— from what you're saying, you know, we want to be practicing this not just in the mornings, but like throughout the entire day so that that potential issue kind of we would avoid it. But if we get to that point, do you have any recommendations for that?

Yes. My own experiences, I mean, times that I've had stressful, haven't had a panic attack, but I've certainly had some deep anxiety over the years.

Panic attacks are awful.

Panic attack, yeah. But I'm going to give you kind of two answers. One is, whenever we feel deep inner fear or conflicts, the first thing we have to do is say, I accept this. I accept the fact that I am completely stressed out. I am full of anxiety over this issue. Okay? Then consciously breathe. But you have to accept it for this reason. What we do not accept has power over us. And what we accept in nonresistance no longer has power over us. And when we do accept it and we consciously breathe with the right intention, there is a— again, there is a power beyond us that starts working through us. And getting through it, in my experience, any sort of emotional turmoil within myself, that's the only way to get through it. But getting back to the practice of presence, as you practice presence consistently, let's say, and there's a lot of people that have those reactions a lot of times, and it's a shame to say, every day.

Yeah.

See, but as we practice presence and condition ourselves, inner condition ourselves, what happens is those happen less and less and less. Like I tell people, as a matter of fact, that was one of the talks I gave over the many I gave. Someone asked me, well, and I said, When you practice presence, your inner negativity, your stress, your negative emotions are reduced by 90%. So the person says to me, yeah, but you still have them. I said, let's look at that. Let's say I had a chronic back problem. I was in pain all the time. Get up in the morning, in pain. Getting ready, in pain. At work, in pain. Social life, in pain. All of a sudden I go to my doctor and he says, I'll tell you what I want you to do. I want you to do this stretching exercise once an hour. Takes about 30 seconds. I do the stretching exercise. Man, in a month my pain is 90% gone. Meaning it's there at some level, but has no control over me anymore. It doesn't affect my life, my social life, my business life, how I do, how I go about every, my everyday living. It doesn't affect it anymore. And it might be there at some level, but it no longer has any power over me. That's what the practice of presence does for us. And if we do it intermittently, the first thing our ego is going to say is, oh, this don't work. Well, of course it don't work if you're not practicing it. Okay. The power lies in the peace of the present moment. You have to be in the present moment to experience its spiritual power.

So I'm curious too, because Like you said, you've done many talks and you have a book here. So have you— and you might not be able to name names— but have you worked with people like with— on this type of stuff, like one-on-one?

Oh, I've talked to people all the time about presence. Okay. Over the years, many people. Yes.

Okay. Can you share? Because I always think those are the coolest kind of things to hear is the stories of like, you know, and again, because it's probably pretty personable, so you might not be able to share their names, but like maybe somebody was at this point and then you spoke with them in regards to this topic and then it kind of like made a transformation for their life. Do you have like a couple stories that you could share in regards to that?

Well, I'll give you an example. Uh, my wife, okay, now she's been practicing presence with me but inconsistent, inconsistently. Over the years. And she'll do it for a week, stop for a few days, do it for a few days. Now, about 9 months ago, when I made the app, okay, I said, let me, let me, let me see if this helps Patricia, if it makes it easy for her to actually practice presence with me in my morning practice. And put the— try the app. Well, since 9 months ago when I tried the app, she hasn't missed one day of practicing presence.

Oh, wow. Okay.

That's awesome. And another experience is years ago, I'm giving, obviously giving classes. And actually, it was my wife's sister. And she says to me, "Jim, when are you giving your next class?" I said, "Well, next couple of months." I said, "You know, I'll let you know when I'm giving it." Then I was curious because she never asked me before. I said, "Well, why do you want to go to the presence class?" She says, I want what Patricia has. But there's many, but there's many people have told me, when I practice presence, okay, throughout the day, my mind just stops running so much less than it was before. And once we experience that power, That's what motivates us to come back. It's never, it's never, it's like this. Our mind retains what our body experiences. So you come back. Yeah, let's say you touch a hot surface, okay? But the next time you're around a hot surface, you know what it felt like when you touched that hot surface. So when we say inner condition, we know when we see ourselves drifting into unconsciousness, we know what that feels like and we know we have a choice. And that's the power and the gift of God's peace in the present moment.

So what were these, like, classes like that? Do you still run them or— well, I guess—

I haven't done classes in a few years because I've been writing.

I wrote the book a couple of years ago.

Read the book. But no, normally it's anywhere from 6 to 10 people. I actually do it in my house.

Oh, okay, cool.

It's over a 4-week period.

Nice.

And a matter of fact, now the book is published, I'm actually— I have the app and I'm actually writing a study guide for groups that want to practice presence.

Got it.

From the book. The questions are from the book and you use the app Practicing Presence: A Christian Way. You can download that, by the way, on your iPhone or Android at the App Store. It's free.

Yeah. What's it called, the app?

Practicing Presence: A Christian Way. Gotcha.

So what do you— because that was going to be my next question is What do you, or what about the app has made it easier for your wife to stay so consistent? Like how, what's the whole process? How's the app work?

Well, first of all, the morning practice. As I said earlier, we have a timer that goes 10 minutes, 50. If you're beginning, start at 10, but you want to work to 20. You go 10 minutes, 15 minutes, or 20 minutes. But what it does is walks you through the practice of presence, but it also tells us why we're doing it. That's so important. If you ask 10 people who meditate, why are you meditating? There's a very good chance you're going to get 10 different answers. Now, hey, guess what? Meditation works. Absolutely, for sure. But practicing presence is different. There's one core foundation. Connecting with God's spiritual energy, that is what has the power to change us from the inside. And again, it's not what we do, it's what happens to us when we bring in stillness. What happens is God changes us from the inside. So the app explains what it is and why, uh, presence is our foundation, how to actually breathe properly with that intention. And how important it is to come back every hour and renew ourselves by taking 3 conscious breaths again with the intention of connecting with God's spiritual energy. And it just makes— because let's face it, change, we all resist change. And This reduces resistance significantly, and I'm very happy about that outcome.

No, man, that's awesome. So, tell us, um, if there's anything else you want to share, I want to leave the floor to you, and then also where people can get the book. I know the app, Android and Apple. So, yeah, I'll leave the floor to you.

Well, Android and the iPhone.

iPhone, yep.

Yeah, and yet in the app, the App Store, I'm not very technically—

No, it's funny, it would look like I am in this video, but I'm not either, actually. I just have good technical partners.

Yeah, I mean, for me, the, the only important thing to share with everyone is, again, I'll say it, I don't know anyone, starting with myself, that doesn't need to be more present. But at the same time, when you start practicing presence and if you do it consistently, you will notice an unmistakable difference in what you experience inside when you are present versus when you are not present. And that is the motivating factor for each of us to come back. We know we have a choice and it truly is a power. It's a spiritual power. And hopefully more people will practice presence. That's the goal.

Yeah, I think we need it now more than ever. And so the book is Amazon, is available any other places?

Yes, I believe it's Barnes Noble also.

Okay.

But it's Choosing Presence and the subtitle is To access God's peace, to release fear, anxiety, and stress.

Perfect. Thank you again for coming on, man.

Oh, it's been a pleasure. Thank you.