Rae Davenport: Uplift, Inspire, And Motivate | The Tyler Wagner Show #1025

All right, everyone, welcome back to another episode. Today we have Ray Davenport with us, so welcome to the show.

Hi, thank you, thank you for having me.

Of course, grateful to have you here. Um, so if you can, can you start us off a little bit more about you and what you do?

Sure thing. Like he stated, I am Ray Davenport. I am actually a registered nurse by profession. People always kind of find that surprising because I don't mention that much. But I am a motivational speaker. I am an author. I'm working on some other projects, nonprofit organizations, and things like that. Um, but I just love what I do. I love motivating people. I love uplifting, inspiring, motivating. And if you, you go to my website or anything that I've been a part of, you'll see that that is my life's mission is to uplift, inspire, and motivate.

Love it. Okay. So when you were— I was, I was reading your bio prior to us, um, doing this interview when you were younger, uh, let's just go middle school, high school. Did you see yourself doing this, um, like what you're currently doing, like at all, or was your vision like something completely different?

So this was not a part of my plan. I did not want to do this at all. Um, if you all know just a little bit about me and, you know, you can go to my website. One of the things that, um, that happened to me is I was a teen mom, right? My dad was killed when I was 13 years old. And that was a huge part of my life. I was really a daddy's girl to the fullest. And so when my dad was killed, my life kind of shifted, you know? And I became a teen mom. And it was in that process that, you know, laboring and delivering and stuff like— I had a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful nurse. She didn't judge me by my circumstance. It didn't matter that I was a teenager. Having a baby, literally a baby having a baby, that didn't matter to her, right? She just saw me, saw the need. I was a patient. She really, really took care of me. And so that's how I got into nursing. I wanted to be on TV. I wanted to be in Hollywood, in movies and commercials and things like that. But the impact that she made in my life when I really needed it the most, right? That's how I got into nursing and into healthcare, because I wanted to be that for someone else. Now, moving into the things that I'm doing now, being a motivational speaker, a life and divorce coach, it seems like I've always had that type of influence. My family and my friends would always come to me for advice or just a listening ear. Sometimes people don't even need you to say anything, they just need you to listen, right? And so I was always that for other people. And I just moved into it after I got divorced, after I went through my situation and I got divorced. I decided to be what other people needed, what I did not have during my divorce and my marriage. And so that's how I got into the motivational speaking and the life coach and the divorce coach. I've always had those gifts. But I didn't fully utilize them until after, um, my divorce.

Got it. Okay. And as much as you're willing to share, I'm just like curious to kind of start there because, um, you know, obviously just— I cannot even imagine. But so you're 13 and your father gets murdered. Like, what, what actually— like, what were the feelings running through? Like, what can you like elaborate a little bit more there? It's just like so mind-boggling to me. I can't even imagine it.

Yeah. So I remember that day like it was yesterday, literally, Tyler. I, I received a phone call and I thought it was my dad calling me to say, hey, I'm on my way because we, we had planned a family event. I can't remember exactly where we were going, right? But it was our time to go and spend some time together. And I got the phone call and I hurry up and jumped up because I I thought it was him saying it was on our way, but it was a family friend saying that he had been shot. And I'm like, oh, you know, what? What's going on? And so we rushed out to the scene where it all happened. And once you see the yellow tape, you kind of know, OK, we know what this means, right? And so as we get closer and closer to the scene, as close as the police will allow us, one of, you know, the people, not witnesses, but who was kind of around, came up to us and let us know that he had already died. Now, it didn't come from the police, it didn't come from other family members, it came from someone who was just not far from where it happened. And it seemed like, Tyler, in that moment, my entire life just shifted and just changed from that, from the moment of me hearing that he had, you know, been killed, it's like a part of me left when he did. And so it's— imagine being 13, um, and your whole life not perfect, but you have everybody that you know in your life. No one has really passed away at this point other than, you know, the elderly who we expect to die. But my dad was actually in his 30s at that time.

Wow.

And so life completely changed in that moment.

So then, okay, so then in 2 years after that, then you become a mother. So in those 2 years, like, what, what occurred? Like, did you kind of like— and this is just because I, again, I can't even imagine. So like, do you kind of like spiral out of control a little bit? Do the— and it's also though, like, kind of to get into trouble and stuff when you're a teenager is kind of normal, but I guess, can you explain like what were the 2 years like leading up to you becoming a mother?

Absolutely. So I was searching for that male love that I lost. One day I had it my whole life and the next day it was completely gone. And so I was really searching for that type of attention, that type of love, right? And that's all I wanted. My mom was there. My sisters and everyone else was doing the best that they could. But they— my mom knew, like, she was hurting for me because she couldn't give me that type of love. And so I wasn't crazy out of control. But I did change. And I can honestly say that I did change. And so I was searching. I just wanted the attention from a man, from a male. And so that's what— I got it. I thought that this gentleman, he was my friend. We had been friends for such a long time. We had grew up together. And so he knew what my dad was to me. He knew that influence. And he knew the love that he was giving me and the love that I had for my dad. And so you do things when you're not thinking correctly, when you're immature in yourself, 13, 14 years old, you're very, very immature, right? You do things that you're not supposed to do. At that age, you think on a level that you're not supposed to be thinking. And things, you know, um, actions have consequences. And, you know, I became pregnant, and one of the, the things— I, I had to grow up really fast. 13, daddy's killed. 14, pregnant. 15, I'm a mom. It's, you know, a lot of steps of life gets missed when you go from a child, bam, to having to care for another child, right? So I had to grow up really, really quick.

And so that was— is that kind of what, like, this is what— there's no other way I know how to word it.

Is that what— go ahead, come on.

Is that kind of the thing though that kind of like lit a fire under your butt?

A hot fire.

Yeah, because you were like, well, what's interesting, right, is then like You, you know, you graduate high school with honors, um, enroll into college. So it's like, it seems like after you had the baby, you know, you know, you had to grow up fast, but it also kind of helped you to kind of get your, your shit straight, if you will.

That's perfect. Perfect way to put it. It absolutely does. Because guess what? Now it's not just about me. It's about this life that I now have to care for. And what am I going to do? I can't succumb to the pressure. I can't depend on anybody else to do what it is that I need to do for him. Although I can— I will say this, I had great help. I had a wonderful support system, right? But the ownership and the responsibility still fell on me. And so I did not want my son, you know, I gave birth to him in '90s, September of '96. I didn't want my son my son to have a mom that he couldn't depend on or a mother that he really couldn't look up to. Even though I was a teenage mom, right, I still wanted to give him the best. And so I had to get my stuff together really, really quick. And I did.

Yeah. And then so are you and him, like, very close now?

We are so, so very close. He made 25. Yeah, this past September, and he is an amazing, amazing young man.

Yeah, you know what's so interesting is it's like, um, so I have a cousin and her first baby was, I think it was 15 as well, um, and although young, uh, right, and, and I guess in a lot of cases not necessarily ideal, right, but like If you look at it from a longer-term perspective, to me, uh, and again, I, I don't— I, I'm not saying it's like good or bad. I just think it's— if the younger you have a kid, I feel the potential for you to be close. Like, they become almost more like a friend. Like, I'm 30, so I'm, I'm only 5 years older than your son, you know? Like, and I just think like your, your age gap with your son is like close enough that like you would have more in common than if you were, you know, older is one thing. So it's kind of interesting. It's kind of cool in a way too.

Absolutely. Because you have to think, uh, we grew up together. Yeah, there you go. Literally, literally, we grew up together. We went through so many transitions, you know. We went from— because we're from New Orleans— we went from New Orleans to California and California to Houston and we're vacationing. I mean, it's a lot of changes that we do or that we did together that brought us very, very close. And now that he is a full adult, we have such a wonderful relationship and connection. And now, you know, he's understanding certain responsibilities and the decisions that I made and had to make for— for us, you know, for his betterment. And but he couldn't see that then, of course. But now he's like, oh, I get it now, Mom. It's the real world, and I completely understand, uh, the things that you did and, um, you know, what we went through. And he's much more appreciative of it because some kids, they just don't know. That's my mom said do this, or mom said do that. But, but because we're able and we had those experiences together. It absolutely, uh, is the reason why we are as close as we are.

Yeah, that is, that is awesome. Um, so let's talk, um, uh, now that we have like a good backstory, let's talk a little bit more about like your business and, and really it seems like what your passion is. So that's awesome. It seems you've like combined them both. So, uh, like just right in the, in the first header of your website, it says here to uplift, inspire, and motivate millions to greatness. So What are like the top ways that you are doing this currently? Like public speaking, YouTube videos, like what is the overall mission or goal or impact that you're trying to leave?

Absolutely. So yes, I do public speaking in person as well as virtual. I have a YouTube channel. I, one of my favorite things to do is like private webinars. There are many groups even churches, organizations, companies that will bring me in to speak to their organizations. Many, many different topics. But when they feel like the morale of the organization is low, then, you know, they'll bring me in to come and speak to them to, like I said, uplift, inspire, and motivate. I do it in many, many different platforms. It is a passion of mine. It is a joy. It is something that I can do without preparation, because it's, it's a burning desire that I have to get to as many people as I possibly can. I know I'm just one person, right? But my desire is to just speak life into the individuals or anybody that may be struggling. Sometimes someone else can see things inside of you that you can't see for yourself, because life does that to us, right? The things that we go through, it makes us feel like we're not worthy. Time is ticking. If it hasn't happened now, it may not happen. And that's just not the case, right? And so I like to be the one to— to— like, I had a fire lit under me. I like to light the fire under other people as well.

I love that. I love that. And then you have— how many books do you have? Is it just one or do you have multiple?

I have one book. I'm working on two right now.

Oh, okay. Nice. So, well, just out of curiosity, what's the next one going to be about? And then let's talk about the one that's on your website.

Okay. So the next one, um, is A Painful Connection. That's the title of it. It's A Painful Connection. It's, it's being connected to I don't want to say the wrong individual, but kind of, sort of, it's like loving the wrong person, right? And so the one following that is another anthology that I can't speak on just yet because the publisher, um, has told us to keep quiet about it. Okay, but that one is— that one is coming out next year as well. A Painful Connection is also coming out next year, and that will be self-published by myself. I am happy about that. The one that's on my website is, um, it's an anthology, right? It's Living Life After Divorce. One of the things that, like I stated earlier, I did, uh, I was married for such a short time when I moved to Houston. I met this gentleman and he became all that I needed. Um, at that time I didn't know anyone, and so, you know, we connected and it seemed like it happened really, really fast. And so what I want to tell anyone, you know, is take your time so you can get to know people. Date them. Nothing's wrong. Date long so you don't marry wrong. I tell people that it's better to date long than marry wrong, right? And so our relationship, uh, went very quickly, and we got married. And in the marriage, I could see why he was not supposed to be the one. It's a nice way to put it. And so I got out of that. It wasn't a healthy situation. It wasn't a healthy environment at all. And so I had to use my courage to make the decision that this was not what God intended for marriage. This was not the individual that God even intended for me to be with, right? And so I made the decision to disconnect from him. I got the divorce. And so if you go on my website, Living Life After Divorce, my part— even I couldn't even put the whole story in the book, but a, a good part of the story is in there in that book, as well as some other ladies who, who had, um, courage to leave. Because I— people always say everyone's just getting a divorce, they're just making, you know, waking up and getting a divorce. That is not the truth. The decision to divorce comes after you battling with yourself for such a long time, because it is something that you said you were going to do forever. Death was going to part you two. And so when you finally make the decision that this is, is no longer for me, it is— it comes after going through so much. And it is absolutely okay for you to choose yourself. I'd rather you be here. I'd rather you be healthy. I'd rather you be whole and complete. As a single person than to be suffering trying to hold on to a marriage if it's abusive, um, if it's disrespectful, if you are not eating, not sleeping, you're in unhealthy situation. I'd rather you get up out of that than to try to stay in that and you're losing yourself.

100%. And then what I'd like to move to, you have some really interesting podcast, or excuse me, blog posts here. So, and obviously a podcast too. But what I'm seeing on your website is the blog post. So just to touch on a couple of these, the one that says You Are Still Worth It, what's that one about?

So You Are Still Worth It is about those that may have experienced life, whether you are single parents, single mom, whether you have had divorce, whether you are recovering drug, whatever, things that has happened in our lives that others may frown upon, right? That others may seem like, uh, she's just not as good as she used to be, or I wouldn't choose this person. You are absolutely still worth God's best. You're absolutely still worth the things that you desire in life for yourself. You are absolutely still worth your weight in gold. Many times people will, will shine a light on the negative things, the negative aspects, and the negative, um, experiences, and even choices that we willingly made, right? Because we don't always make the right decisions, people will, uh, like, they like to highlight that. And so, and because of those things, your past is your past. Your past does not dictate your future. And that's what you are still worth. That means I understand that you did this, I understand that you went through this, but you are still worth all of God's best for you.

100%. Yeah, I agree. So, um, what I'd like to do, uh, just because you have so much like content, so I kind of want to leave the floor to you if there's anything we didn't cover, you know, feel free, share it. And then also let people know like your website, podcast, where they can get the book, social medias, where can people stay in touch?

Absolutely. So first things first, I would encourage anyone to go to my website. It is raydavenport.com. I have a lot of information there, but I am also updating and putting new content on my website this week. So, uh, continue to check back and just, you know, save that as your favorite, right? Check out— check with me, um, a couple times a week. I also have another website, Ray on the Radio. I have a radio show that airs on Wednesdays, 7 PM Central Standard Time. Uh, you can catch that on gospelradionation.com, or if you would like to actually view it, you can go to my, um, Instagram, which is @raydavenport_. We do a live feed there as well as Facebook, uh, Rae Davenport Live, and my YouTube channel, Rae Davenport. Please, please go to YouTube and check out the videos that I have, uh, up there. Now we will be uploading several new videos. I took a break for a minute, um, on my YouTube channel because I'm restructuring, but I'm, I'm coming back fierce, very big. So you can absolutely connect with me, please, I encourage you to do so. Go to my website, go to, uh, The Living Life After Divorce, purchase the book. If you— you do not have to have been divorced, going through a divorce, a breakup, or anything like that to get the gems that's in that book. If you've ever been discouraged, if you've ever felt like you've been defeated, if you've ever just felt like you have a weight on you Get the book. I promise you, when you read it, you will be encouraged and motivated to do whatever it is that is set before you. There's so much going— I have so much going on. I would love for us to get connected and stay connected. Raydavenport.com.

Perfect. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Thank you for having me.