010: Hustle, Believe, Receive with Sarah Centrella

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Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up? We aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback. On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. Sarah Centrella was married to her high school sweetheart and together for nearly 16 years. As a stay home mom with three kids, she was content. After watching a TV episode about husbands that cheat. A quick moment of women's intuition found her looking at her husband's cell phone. That quick peek altered the course of her life forever. Sarah read a text that said just a few simple words. I can't wait until you're finally free and all mine. No more sharing. This text ended her marriage and her life as she knew it. In an instant. Her husband was having an affair. He moved out that night, leaving her and her three children behind. Broken and scared. Survival was Sarah's first instinct. On welfare, food stamps. She asked herself now what? She sold everything she owned to stay on track, begged and pleaded for someone to lease her and her kids a tiny two bedroom apartment. And she decided that she would not allow any negative thoughts in. She decided that it was her choice with the next chapter of her life would bring as she shut up any voice within her that told her otherwise. She shifted her focus to what's possible and that was liberating for her. Within 18 months, she had manifested her first vision board and created a whole new life for her family. Meet Sarah today as she shares how she leveled up and created everything from nothing. Sarah Centrella, I'm so excited to talk to you today because when I started reading your book, I couldn't believe the parallels on how our story started. So thank you for being here today, Sarah.

Oh my gosh, Natalie, I'm so excited to be on the show and just chat with you today. And I love the fact that we have a similar background and can understand where each other is coming from. I know there's a lot of women out there and your listeners who will as well. So I'm excited for our chat today.

Yeah, so. Okay, so take me back a little bit because I know people see you now. You're this amazing author. You've got these workshops. You people are seeing you on social media. They know who you are. But I know that it was not always like this for you. You weren't always this incredible success. In fact, you are really at a rock bottom place. Can you share where you were before this success took off for you?

Yeah, absolutely. And no, I wasn't any of this. Literally, I tell people that the life that I'm living now is something that I created out of thin air. I created it from an idea, it created it from a thought. None of the life that I'm living now existed when my story began. And it did really start with a rock bottom moment. As I think many people can relate when you go through something traumatic as I did back in. Actually, it's been 10 years this month ago. And essentially the pivotal moment for me was at that point I had been married, my high school sweetheart, we've been together for 16 years, married for eight, had three kids, you know, like, had done all, quote, unquote, the right things, built a life that I thought I knew all the answers to, right? And that it was planned for the rest of my life. And just one day he came home from work and I had been watching the Oprah show that afternoon and they were talking about signs that your husband was cheating. And it's kind of ironic that I had muted the show and was like, you know, like, I don't need that because I just never been that type of woman. Like, it never crossed my mind. I was not at all the phone checker type. But it was crazy because after he came home, we had dinner and he went in the shower. I had that instant kind of feeling, or premonition, whatever you want to call it. And it was just connecting those two dots. It was that subconscious seeing the show. And one of the things they had talked about was if they're hiding their phone. And it was just instantaneously, I was like, oh my God, he's been hiding his phone. Where's his phone? And it was like in that same second, I just knew. Like, I knew, I knew I knew. And of course I wound up finding it in the clothes he was gonna put on. He was still in the shower and read a text message that changed my life in a split second. And it was from her. And I literally turned the water off in the shower and said, get the fuck out and don't ever come back. And that was the end of my world. So a five minute end to. To my world.

So no signs at all. You're in a happy marriage. You think you're in a happy marriage? 16 years, known him, three kids, and you're just watching TV. And you, you happen to hear about being aware of this, it just hits you.

Yep. And I know that, you know, the universe works in mysterious ways. Right. And it'll send you the signs if you're not paying attention. And clearly, you know, after everything it was said and done, I could go back and see like a couple things. But when I was living it, nothing. Like, absolutely nothing. And so I think that's what it had to take to be like, hello, wake up. This is going on in your life. And it just. Everything that I had planned and the future and just all of it came crashing down. And at the time, I was a stay at home mom and it was in the middle of the financial crisis here, and so it was just the perfect shit storm. I mean, everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. And I didn't have a dollar to my name, didn't have a way to get a job because I had the, you know, my twins were a year. It was just one of those things like, how do I even get up tomorrow? What do I do? How do I survive? How do I be? Just the basic survival stuff first. And then over time, it became, well, okay, if I have to do this and I have to start over at 33 and just reinvent a new future for myself, a new life for myself, then why don't I ask myself, what do I want and what do I want to be and who do I want to be and go from there. And that's really what I did. And I began creating it after that.

Okay, so back up a second. So when you, when you, you catch him and you catch what's happening, like, you don't want to know, you don't want to believe it almost. And you go and you're telling him to get the F out and you're shutting the shower off. Was there some part of you that was hoping it wasn't true? Were you shocked that he wasn't defending, you know, saying this isn't true, or it was just like you were so super clear that you're, you're closing this chapter and you don't even know what's going to happen next?

I think, well, the text message said, I can't wait till you're finally free. All mine. No more shame sharing. So it just so happened that it wasn't one of those oh, you looked cute today text messages. It was the beginning, middle, and end as far as I was concerned. Like, and in a lot of ways, it was that specific text message that charted the course of everything because for me, as a woman, it was like, oh, my God, you know, like, the second you have that premonition and you just know in your gut what it is, and then you see something like that says, okay, we've been having an affair. It's been going on behind your back. We've been planning to get out of this. And, you know, it was just like, everything you needed to know as a woman. And so for me, it was kind of like, what are you gonna say? There really isn't you can say to back yourself out of this one. And so, yeah, I think I was initially. I mean, there was really nothing going on as far as any type of conversation other than pointing at the door and saying, go. But I do think I was shocked that initially he didn't even try. Didn't even try to.

And then what was going on through your. In your head as a mom? Like, you know, now you've got these three kids, and you're dealing with your heart being broken and being betrayed and all that, but you've also got three kids that you're looking at, like, I've got to feed them. I gotta take care of them. I gotta tell them what's happening.

Right, Exactly. And I think the hardest part was, of course, my son. He was. He was five and a half, and he was super close to his dad. And so that instantly I knew was gonna be, you know, the place that needed all of my love and all of my attention. So it was in that type of crisis mode where I'm just so thankful that something beyond me could see a few things clearly, because there wasn't much I could see clearly, I'll be honest. But I knew that my stuff, as far as the relationship part, was gonna have to wait. Like, I needed to first figure out the survival stuff and most importantly, needed to make sure that my son was gonna be okay and to pour in, you know, more love than ever and all of that stuff, which thank God, I did, and I always continued to do as the years have gone by. And they're. They're doing awesome now. But back then, you know, in the very first, like, couple days, and even that day, it was really about, like, now what. You know, like, what. What does this look like? How do I create a plan? Like, where do we live? What do we do? And how do I make sure the kids are okay? And how do I feed them? Basically, like, it was. It was that bad.

So what did you do? How did you even start?

Yeah, so I actually had to sell everything we owned. I Put it all up on Craigsl and took about a week. And we just had people cycling through the house, like, taking everything that we. That we had. And I, you know, had my sister watch the kids so they didn't have to watch that happening. And. And it was. It was just so awful on so many levels as far as trying to get something going for myself, because we had just filed bankruptcies of getting an apartment without a job with a bankruptcy. It was just going, like, apartment to apartment and just crying in their lobbies, and they're like, there's nothing we can do. Like, who's going to rent an apartment to you? You know, like, sue let.

So you had filed bankruptcy.

Yes. Two months before. Whoa.

So you're already in bad financial problem. Oh, yeah. This is just.

And we just lost our house. We'd lost our house in the financial crisis right before that. So it was. It was literally the perfect storm of everything to go wrong.

Oh, my gosh. Okay. And then I remember reading in your book, I mean, just the symbolism behind when you sold your wedding ring, even.

Yeah, yeah. So I remember when I did finally get an apartment, and it was literally just begging, you know, someone to give me a chance and paying two months rent or whatever. And so I moved us into this tiny, horrible apartment that we had. People have gunshots down the road. I mean, it was just crazy. It was one of those, you know, And I remember probably about a month in where I knew the one thing I had left to sell was my ring, and that would be enough to get maybe a month's rent. This was before I had a job. And so it had come to that point, I put it on Craigslist, and this woman shows up, and she. I remember, like, her looking around, and I was about to tell her, you know, well, this is why I'm selling the ring and whatever. And she just looks at me, and she was like, don't tell me. Please do not tell me. She was like, I don't want that juju anywhere near these rings I'm about to buy. She, like, handed me the money and ran. And I was like, I don't blame you. I don't want to hear it either.

Sue, what did you tell yourself about yourself in that moment? Like, what was going on through your head? I mean, what did you feel like?

I mean, I think whenever we're kind of, like, pushed to a wall and it's about taking care of our kids, I don't. At least for me, it was. There was no more sentimental attachment to anything. It Was, oh, my God, I'm so excited. She actually bought them so I can pay the rent and I can take care of my kids for another month. You know what I mean?

You were in fix it mode.

Yeah, I was just like, all I need is one more month, and I know I'll get a job. I know I'll get back up, and I'll know, you know? And so I've never looked back. I never even really thought about it. And I remember, you know, a couple people back then saying, like, oh, don't you want to keep them for your kids? I'm like, why would I want them to wear these? You know, it didn't. Didn't make sense to me. It was just. There wasn't any more sentimental value now.

Where you just said a few interesting things to me, and I'm curious about the mindset because I feel that when bad things happen, you know, people either lock up and think, woe is me. Victim mode, can't do anything, and then there's another type of person. Or maybe it's a decision that people make where it's, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to power forward. I just know it's going to work out. I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to do one day at a time. And it sounds like you moved to that camp. Was that an instant move to that camp, or what did it take to get to that place?

Yeah, that's such a great point, because I do think some people are wired that way. I am not one of those. And so it was a decision. I don't know how conscious of a decision it was back then, but looking back, it definitely was a decision. I think having my children, having them be so young, was the ultimate motivator. Right. Like, somebody asked me not too long ago, would you be where you were if you didn't have kids? And I probably wouldn't. I mean, I could have very easily slumped into that other camp. And. And I think instantly, almost like that day, I remember just, like, laying on the floor and crying for hours and hours and hours, and my face was, like, literally stuck to the wood. And in that moment, like, the hours following, I somehow knew that it was my choice what was gonna happen next. Like, I. I knew that many people can fall off into all kinds of addictions, and you just can fall off the map right. When something that unexpected happens, or I could figure it out, and for whatever reason, it was as clear as, like, a fork in a physical road in my Head that it was my choice which way I went down and having my kids and knowing, like, I'm responsible for them and no one's ever gonna take care of them but me. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, oh, no. Come hell or high water, I will never put us in a position where anyone is going to question if I got this or not. As far as, you know, being able to support and take care of my kids. And that was what clicked instantly. I was like, I don't have time to mourn this marriage. I don't have time to mourn this man. I don't have time to mourn any of this. Like, I need to feed my kids. I need to get a job and, and get going. And even in that, that same moment, the other thing that kind of just kept on going through my mind was, you know, this thought of like, I can't do this. I can't do this, I can't do this. Like, especially in that six months when we had lost everything already financially, it was kind of one of those things like, well, you couldn't do it as a united front with another income. How in the heck are you gonna do it on your own? Yeah, but I think we all have this other voice inside us, all of us do that most time we don't listen to. And it's always presenting, like, the counter argument so that we can try and see things a little bit clearer. And for me, in that moment was just like, what if you can? Like, you don't have to have the rest of it figured out, but just like, what if you can? And that I let breathe.

Yeah. And I think it's so powerful what you just shared. Because, you know, I think with anyone making great decisions into the right direction for our future and their vision, I want to point out that those thoughts do pop up. That if this isn't going to work, the evidence of why, what if it doesn't work? And you literally just shut it up. It's like, okay, I noticed this thought. I'm not even going to let it in my space and use that. What if I can?

Exactly. And that is. That's where rock bottom can push you. You know what I mean? And in so many ways, I think rock bottom saved me because it left me no other alternatives. And I knew spending time thinking about all the 80 trillion obvious reasons why I could not survive and make this work wasn't going to get me a paycheck, wasn't going to feed my kids, wasn't going to get me an apartment, you know, and so being, I think, pushed into a corner to that degree, I was like, oh, hell no. I'm fighting. I'm fighting till the end of time. And then like, the more you do that and the more you put your focus there instead of on everything that is going wrong, the more that grows. Like, literally anything you think about, the more you think about it, the more gross. So I'm so grateful to God or universe or whatever you want to call it, that in that crisis mode of the first couple months, I just did that. And I never read a self help book before. I didn't know anything about anything, but I knew that thinking about how bad everything was physically made it. So I didn't want to get out of bed physically, not be a good mom. And I was like, I can't afford that. Just, I literally can't afford that. So it can't have my. It can't have rain, like, control this.

And as you know, Sarah, I always tell every people that, you know, the only thing that makes a difference between somebody that's in a failure mode or successful mode is really thoughts and actions.

Yep.

Thoughts you think and then the actions you take towards them. And the cool thing is you can control both of those and that's what you were doing.

Exactly. And I didn't even know it at the time. Like, I was a huge Oprah fan, you know, like everybody. Probably back in the day where when she used to have the show on every week or every day. And the only thing that I had ever heard about any of this stuff was Louise Hay was on once. And I remember her saying something about controlling your thoughts. And I just remember thinking like, is she crazy? What is she talking about? Like, I literally couldn't get my head around it. I was like, what are you even saying? But somehow, as subconscious stuff happens, right? And that, that was like two years before this had happened. It had to have shaped how I was dealing with it, right? Like, I don't. On a conscious level, I don't think I knew, but somehow it had to have been there that I realized that focusing in, on any level on what was going on in the moment would destroy me. Like, destroy me. And so therefore, I had to shift focus onto what was possible, even though I didn't know what that was. And so I really just spent the time thinking about what could be possible. And it was, in a way, so oddly liberating just the fact that I had never in my whole life had an open slate. Right. I'd known him since I was 16 years old, so my life had been planned since I was 16. So for the first time, I just started allowing new thoughts to come into my life of like, well, maybe this, well, maybe that, you know? And I think that's the big difference is most of the time we all have that happen, but we turn those off instantly.

So what actions did you start to take?

So I think the biggest and most dramatic thing that I wound up doing that had the biggest impact was I took a vision board, which was just literally pictures of a life that I wanted to create. That's why I say I made it out of thin air, because I just used my imagination to invent truly, because none of it was real in my life. And so I just thought, like, okay, well, who do I want to be? What does that woman look like? How does she dress? Like, what kind of job does she have? You know, what kind of mom is she? Where does she vacation? What is her career look like? Or whatever. And I just found pictures and I put it on a board. And when I did get a job, I plastered my cube with those pictures, and all day long, I started creating imaginary worlds around each one, and they made me feel happy. And it just literally transported me from what was going on into this imaginary world that was really happy. And then 18 months later, it just started showing up. And it hasn't stopped.

Sarah, I am so. I can't even believe I'm just getting to know you now because exactly how my vision and business started with the vision board, and I shared that. So people listening that are. That are from my audience, they know I'm so passionate about vision boards. And what I've always believed is that. And the way when I was in my rock bottom personally, I remember thinking, I can't even imagine what it would feel like to look good, feel good, be happy. But maybe if I put the pictures there and I stare at it, imagine what it would be like to be them, I can start generating those feelings.

And, oh, my God, it's amazing. That's amazing that you did that. That's exactly, exactly what I did. And I'm telling you, isn't that so powerful? It's so I created the life.

You have now done it so many times since. And what's crazy is I pulled that vision board out years later and, like, literally everything on it happened.

Oh, yeah, Everything. Ye.

So now my vision board, Sarah, I just want to share. My vision board now has, like, private jets. I'm like, I know mine is too.

Oh, my God. Like, yeah, Now I finally cracked the code on dreaming big, and I'm like, okay, I. Is the absolute limit. Yeah. No, my very first board, 2009, I guess it's like the first board, everything on there has manifested except for Oprah.

I have Oprah on mine too, Sarah. I have OPRAH on my 2000.

Oh, my God.

And that's the only thing manifested.

Oh, my God. We're close though.

Oprah, are you hearing this right now? We want to meet you.

Getting closer every day.

That's amazing.

And since then, I've manifested six boards and the board that I did at the beginning of this year in January, because now, you know, it took me a while to really kind of click as to what was happening and how to kind of repeat the process and whatever, but now I redo them every January 1st. It's like my sacred day. And the one for 2018, over half of it is manifest in the first six months of the year. I mean, it's just. Yeah, it's literally spooky almost.

I want to share. For people listening, if they're skeptical about a vision board, it's not about just putting vision up there and it's just woo, woo. And it just happens. I mean, what it is, it's about you putting your. Put yourself in the space of visualizing, imagining, dreaming what you want, being clear on what you want. And then, and then, then there is the taking action part. Can you speak into that a little bit?

Because there is, yes, 1,000%. And that is the big differentiator between this and anything that the listeners might have in their head about what they think a vision board is. Because there's a lot of stereotypes about it, and this is not that. And the biggest difference is exactly what you just said. I mean, the title of my book is called Hustle, Believe, Receive. So that tells you right there, there's one word that is different in that. You know, I'm not talking about just asking for what you want. I'm saying get your butt out there and start working for it. Like, put in the action. Figure out anything you can do today right now that will get you closer, that will close that gap right between this life that you want that's on a board versus the life you're living now. And the beautiful thing that will start to happen if the board represents you. And that's the biggest key, I would say. So my board, when I'm coaching somebody or walking them through a workshop or something, it actually, we don't get to make the board until we've done a lot of groundwork first, which goes right to what you were just saying, Natalie, about, like, what do I want? And I need to see it in my head first. Right. It has to come alive there. And then you find a picture, and what the picture does is remind you of that and give you motivation and make you know what you're working for and help you see and feel what that life is going to be like before it happens. And then when it happens, it's like deja vu. It's like, didn't I already live this? Yeah, it's crazy.

So what. In that. That I've experienced, too, where something. I'll have. Something will happen. I remember specifically, I was hiking one day with my. My now husband, and I remember reaching up to grab his friend's hand, and it was like the exact image on my vision board. So it's like, oh, my gosh.

Yeah, you have that total. And you're like, why am I having this feeling? What is this feeling? And it's almost a deja vu, because you lived it that clearly in your mind before, just by being surrounded by it.

So can you take us through. Take us through some actions that you took because of that vision board that helped you create the life that you have right now?

Oh, absolutely. And I still do. So back to that first one. What it did for me in the very kind of beginning, as I was starting to frame up what my life was going to be, was I was in corporate sales, and I was at the kind of bottom of the run. It was in the version of calling cold, calling all day, right in a cube. And so the action that I initially took way back then was to, instead of thinking of, oh, I need to hit all these arbitrary sales goals and sales numbers in order to, you know, keep my job and blah, blah, blah, I was like, what if I want to take my kids to Italy or I want to take my kids to Hawaii? And that is my motivation. So when I hit XYZ or get that check, that is what it means to me. It means I get to take my kid to Bend, go to Disneyland. To Disneyland. And so kind of changing the way I was looking at how I was building success and how I was framing success. Success to me meant I could have this life or I could start living this life. And then the beautiful thing that happened is the more I started focusing on those experiences, not just material things, but experiences I wanted to live, they started showing up in my life way before I could pay for them. And that is an amazing thing. An amazing thing. So I'm talking when I was starting out making 45 grand a year, which for a family of four, is close to the poverty line, right. I was starting to live this life that literally, NBA players live, like, an insane life, because I had focused on the experiences. And so the experiences were coming to me in a way that I didn't even have to pay for them. You know, it's a nimble.

Share an example of that. I want listeners to hear this. This is really incredible.

Absolutely. So if you think about a picture, that seems like the biggest dream you could ever imagine. So one of the very first thing I ever manifested was New York City. And so on the first board, I had a picture of Times Square. And it was back when I was on food stamps and could never have afforded to go to New York City, which is clear cross country for me. I'm in Oregon, by the way. And so when I. About 18 months after he had left and I was recreating my life, I got a promotion. And one day my boss was like, hey, we got to go to New York City next week, get everything together. We're going, whatever. And that was the moment where I had. As I packed up my desk and got ready for the trip, saw that picture. And for me, that was the first time it ever clicked. Where I was like, wait, how are these two things related? Like, I just knew it wasn't a random thing that I just so happened to get a promotion, just so happened to be at this company. Just so happen, you know? Like, I. I knew that wasn't the case. I knew that somehow I had made it happen. And then, you know, when I'm in New York and it's a week, all expenses paid, and I'm, like, using the company Amex and just living literally was like stepping into a world that was so far removed from my current situation. Again, I was, like, still struggling, paycheck to paycheck. But in this moment in time, I knew what it felt like to live that life that I was working for. And that's what I've learned about manifesting is it will give you. I call it a taste or first pass or whatever. It will let you live that experience so that you know what it feels like. So then what that does is that gives you motivation to not quit. Right? So when stuff gets hard later on the. Down the road, you're like, I know what it felt like. It wasn't just a fantasy. I got to experience it. I got to feel it. And that's just one And I mean, we've. I've sat NBA, you know, courtside, NBA games. I've taken my son field passes to NFL. None of those cost me anything. So be open to putting your dreams out into the world, no matter how humongous they are, and then let go of the part that you can't control and continue to work every day towards what you can, which was my hustle. I worked my butt off. My work ethic was not going to be beat by anybody. I took every opportunity that came my way, even if I felt way over my head on it. I wasn't just sitting around waiting for it to happen. I was like, this is the life I want. This is why I want it. This is what it's going to feel like. This is how it's going to change my kid's life, how it's going to impact the world. This is going to. How it's going to build my legacy. It's worth everything to me.

You're super clear on your vision and your purpose, which is what I'm hearing. And then. But what you added. Because a lot sometimes people will say, well, I'm clear on my vision, my purpose. But then what they're doing is they're allowing these negative thought patterns to coming up and they're not taking action. So I want to be clear that you, you not only created a vision and were clear on your purpose, but you also stopped any negative thought in your way and you took massive action hustling. That was the winning formula.

Absolutely. And when it comes to thoughts, I mean, there's a chapter in my book, one of the eight steps is think it. So it's the second chapter where it talks all about how we actually change our thoughts. I remember when I was starting to kind of get my feet wet and all this looking for the answer, like, how do I do this? All of a sudden I knew that it could be done. I just did not know how to do it. And everyone said, just think positive. And I was like, how the hell do you do that? Like, I'm not a positive person. Right. And so what I've learned is that there's some very simple things you can do that are practical that anyone can do. Like literally in this moment and from here to forever that will change your thoughts in this moment. But then what happens is when you change them in this moment, they begin changing over time. And when they change over time, that changes your beliefs, which change your reality. So it's this beautiful chain reaction that you're in control of and so it, to me, it's always a mix of offense and defense when it comes to your thoughts. So, you know, if, for example, the thoughts coming in, I'm fat and ugly and unmotivated and whatever. You know, women, we love to tear ourselves down, right? And what your goal is and your dream is, is to be fit and beautiful. So if you're telling yourself all day long, I'm fat and ugly and horrible and whatever, how motivated are you going to be to then put in the work to be fit to live the lifestyle you want?

You know what, Sarah, it's interesting that you just spoke into that, because it's not even just that. I see especially coming from a place of fitness and fat loss and all of that, what I see a lot of times is women will tell me, you know, I want to be trim and toned, and they tell me what they describe, what they want. They describe the size that they want, the weight that they want, how they want to feel, look and whatever. And then that same woman, when another woman walks by in her little skimpy workout outfit, looking that part, what do they do? They roll their eyes at them. They say, oh, tear her apart.

Yeah.

And I'm always thinking, but you just.

Right, you said you wanted that. Yeah. Yep, yep.

So it's not even just the thoughts about ourselves. It's the thoughts of what we say about that. Even so, it's being aware of all that, those thoughts. Because you're not gonna ever achieve that goal if you're putting down others in that spot.

Well, it's literally like trying to be in a speedboat with the anchor down. Right? So they're telling you they want one thing, but everything they're putting out into the universe is the opposite. There's no way they're gonna achieve it because you're giving messages to the universe. So you're saying, yes, I want that, but I have all this negativity around what that means and what type of woman I would be if I was that. And people are gonna say all these things about me. So it gets so much deeper. And it's really the deeper belief system that you have about what a woman in that body is, looks like, things about herself, whatever. That's what you have to address. If you don't address that and change that, you're never gonna look like that. And if you do look like that, you're never gonna feel the way you thought you would feel, and you're not as you thought you were gonna be.

This is critical because it's Also that way with people trying to create. With wealth, whatever. Same thing with wealth. You could say, I'm not making money, I'm trying to make money. But then you are, you know, thinking.

That rich people are bad.

Yeah. Putting your nose up to them or, you know, whatever it is. So it's. It really is that pattern. It's a. It's a big thought pattern. It's not just what you think about yourself. It's what you're thinking about others in that situation.

So it's totally. I'm super visual. So for me, I think of it as literally offense and defense. Like if you're watching a basketball game. Right. So part of it is I need to put out into the universe what I want. That's offense. Right. So I'm putting out what I want. But then the defense part is I'm turning off the other thing. Right. I can't have both voices trying to steer the ship. We're gonna, you know, it's not gonna happen. So you have to do both. And I think the message that was always out there before was just think positive. That's only half the equation. So. And that isn't enough a lot of times, because if those thoughts are deeply rooted in their belief system, just thinking positive is not going to change them. You have to do more than that. So you have to not only put out the outcomes you want, start to see that taking shape, starting to see yourself like that, but then you have to change the belief system and the thought system that goes beyond underneath that. And how you recognize it is it will pop up throughout the day. Right. So as soon as that thought comes up and says, oh, you know, I don't want that wealth because wealthy people are bad, you're like, I see that thought and I'm going to change it. I'm not going to receive it anymore. I'm batting it back. Right. Like, no more that the old me used to absorb whatever came at me. Now I'm in a bubble. I take what I want, the rest falls off, and that doesn't serve me anymore. That's not who I am anymore. And you throw it back every time. And it's. The more you do that, the more it changes over time.

So, Sarah, you're so clear and so living in your vision now, and you're so committed to manifesting and visualizing and taking that action, doing the hustle. How do you shift your mood when you just don't feel like it? Because I know you've got to have days. You're like, oh, God, I don't feel like it.

So many. Oh, do I? Yes. And so there's a couple things that I do. And I think having kind of tricks up your sleeve or tools that you know will work for you is so key, because you don't want to have to reinvent the wheel every time, and you don't want to have to think, how do I get myself out of this? Or whatever. Like, you've got to know three or four things that can snap you out of it can, like, you know, slap you up to the head and be like, come on, get back on it. Right. And so for me, kind of depending on what it is, that's wanting to pull me under right in that rabbit hole. So there's always common ones, right? Like finances. If something goes bad or, you know, something comes up where you weren't expecting it, we can go down that finance rabbit hole. Right. And the more we do that, what happens? The worse our finances get. So we don't want that. We know that that's the outcome. We want to stop it. So for me, a lot of times, putting on music that is motivating will be enough to get me out of it. So if it's a new thought and I haven't entertained it all day, I can snap out of it by putting on a song that I know always makes me feel good. And it's usually hip hop, I'll be honest. So, you know, I'll put on Drake or Post Malone and I'll be like, okay, I can mentally just shift off into this, and it's almost like changing the subject in my brain, right?

Yeah.

But there's other days where it's a bigger deal and that isn't going to cut it. And so on a day when I'm like, questioning my vision or questioning why I'm doing something or having a deeper day that needs a little bit more help. For me, Pinterest is kind of where I go to re see my vision in a new and exciting fresh way. And one of the things that I personally am super passionate about is traveling with my kids. So if I'm having a really bad day, I can grab a glass or a bottle of wine and I can sit down with Pinterest and I can pin pictures about Paris. And in the hour that I'm spending doing that, I've literally taken myself to Paris in my mind. Like, it does that for me at this point. It transports me. And so by the time I'm done with that, then I can see more clearly the Reality of the situation. Realize, listen, it's not the end of the world. I can shake it off. So there are definitely a couple tools that are kind of go to's for me. Guided meditation is another one. So if I know I just am having a day where I, you know, I'm not feeling it, I can take a nap. And while I do it, I'm listening to guided meditation, that's changing what my brain is receiving so that I know it's receiving positivity while I'm just taking care of myself for 30 minutes or something.

So that just brought me to two questions that go with that. So do you. I Want to know 1. Do you have a routine that you, you do every morning to kind of start your day into this mode? That's my first question. And then my next question is, I want to know about your inner circle. Like who do you surround yourself with?

Oh, good questions. So I wish that I was super routine driven. I've tried so many times and it would make my life so much easier, let's be honest. If I could just go up and just do everything clockwork. But sadly that's not how it usually is. But I will say that I try to put on. So I'm a big believer in putting positive. I am statements out into the world because over time we start to believe what we tell ourselves. And so I want that to be positive. So there's several great videos on YouTube that are literally just that it's kind of like a quiet meditation. So actually we'll set my alarm for 15 minutes before I know I need to wake up. I'll just hit play on that. Kind of still be sort of asleep for the next 15 minutes. So that is all getting absorbed right into my subconscious so that when I do get up and get the kids ready and start the craziness of the morning, that is already in there. That was the first thing that was kind of shaping my day before I was even awake to really know what was going on. So that has really helped. And that I've done this year as a new thing that I've added that has been tremendous.

So do you get it ready like before bed? So it's ready to go? So you're not tempted to go look at text or Instagram or whatever else?

Oh yeah. And I've learned now that in that mode where I'm literally doing it asleep. Yeah, I'm not gonna look at anything else. I'm gonna grab my next 15 minutes. But the beautiful thing is our subconscious is most Absorbent at that time when we're kind of half awake, half asleep. And so it's really doing a lot of good. I think of it as, like, maybe drinking a protein shake after a workout. It's like putting what our body needs back in, right? It's fueling us. And so I think it's been a powerful thing for me. And then the second part of your question, remind me again, I want to.

Know who you surround yourself with.

I knew I loved that one because that's so key. Oh, my God. Like, when I was. When I was first starting out, that first year and a half, that was one of those things that I realized really quickly. Like, I could not be around people who were negative anymore because I was naturally a negative person. And I was trying so hard to change that that I could not afford to have anyone be in my life who would take me back down that path. It was just like, mission critical for me. And I knew that. So the first thing I did was just cut pretty much everyone out of my life, to be honest. I was like this survival, guys, if you can't hang, I don't have time for it. And so the first couple years were pretty isolating in a lot of ways, which is why I started my blog, which is what led me to here. So in a lot of ways, I guess that was. That was a good thing. And then once I did start kind of opening up my circle a little bit, once I felt strong enough in myself, I started only surrounding myself with people who inspired me, who I was motivated and inspired by, and who, to be honest, they didn't feel quite worthy to be in their presence. Does that make sense? And I don't mean this in the, like, they're a better than me thing, but I think whenever you're around someone who you feel like is really smart and really successful, until we get that self confidence, we kind of feel that a little bit. At least I did. And I like that.

I mean, I definitely heard there's a common theme with successful people, and I've heard it over and over again, that they want to be the dumbest person in the room. They say that I want to be the dumbest person in the room and surround myself with. Now somebody listening might say, well, I don't know people like that. And what would I.

But they do. They do. They're just not. They're not. They're doing probably what I did. Like, it's very intimidating. And it's usually. It could be someone at work, it could be an aunt and uncle. It could be like a friend of a friend, but there's someone that everyone knows that's successful, and they could be successful owning five dry cleaners. Who knows? Yeah. And celebrity.

Even if it's not somebody in person, I will share. You can. By picking up books, podcasts, the right social media groups. You can surround yourself and pretend like it's in a circle. Like, I'm a huge fan of podcasts for this reason. Because you can literally select what you want to learn, who you want to learn from, and there's no difference between listening to that and walking with a friend.

Those are the voices that go in your head. Absolutely, absolutely. And that is so, so, so critical. And people just need to see how fragile their dreams are in the very beginning. Right. And so if you're. If you have a big dream and you're exposing it to people who are not on your level and who don't have dreams and aspirations like you do, of course they're going to shoot it down. I mean, don't be surprised if they don't. In fact, I'd be surprised if they supported it. Right. That's just the way it is. So why put yourself in that position? And that's what I really realized. I was like, whoa, if no one's going to see this, and I'm talking even what I do, even writing my book, I did not have a support team around me at all. But I was like, then I will put it on social media and I'll keep it to myself. Those will be the two lanes. Like, I don't need to talk to my whatever girlfriends about it if I don't want to hear that feedback, if I don't want to hear that negativity, then why would I. It put. Put my. Open myself up to it. And then the other thing is, like, always look for. There's got to be somebody in your life that you admire, probably from afar. But if you will take the initiative to get to know them a little bit and just be a sponge, curious. Like, ask them what it was like when they first started. Ask them if they were scared. Ask them if they had obstacles. Ask them how they overcame it. Ask them how they didn't quit. They will, like, open up to you in a way you never thought they would. Because nobody asks them that stuff. Nobody cares about that part of their story. They just want.

They want to take a lot of time. They want to take. It's like, can I meet for coffee and pick your brain? That sounds painful, right?

Exactly.

But actually caring and asking and finding a way to add value to them. I think too, 100%.

Bring value. Always bring value. Lead with that.

Yeah. So. Okay, Sarah, so you've obviously just incredibly really worked at manifesting and visualizing and changing your thought pattern and taking those right hustle actions. And it's incredible. What would. If you were to narrow it down, if someone was like, rock bottom spot where you were, or maybe it's a different story. They've lost their business, whatever it is they're in, they're in their own personal rock bottom, and they're grasping at straws and they're just starting out and they can't even imagine where to go from there. What are the three things you would tell them to do first?

Oh, my God. The absolute most critical thing, like life or death critical. I'm telling you, it is that serious. You cannot think about even for a minute what the current or past situation is. You just. You can't. You don't have the room to allow that because whatever you focus on comes back to you. So if you're going through it right there, focusing on that current situation and all the things that are wrong and everything that is happening bad, all that's going to do is bring more of that into your life. Like, period, end of story. It's a one to run. Pretty sure. I have tested it. I have proven it. You can go on, like, trust me, someone who's learned the hard way, you do not want to do that. So even though that's the number one thing you want to do. Right. That's a natural state.

So the question somebody might say that hears that is. But what do I. How.

How. Yes. So the alternative part of that. So stopping it is the. Is the defense. Right. So the alternative, the offense piece is then you have to think of anything that makes you feel better in a second, and probably nothing will. At first, you got to dig. Right. You really got to dig. And for me, it was travel. And even back then when I was like, well, if I am on food stamps and I can't pay my rent, how is thinking about travel gonna make me feel better? Like, wouldn't that make me feel worse because I don't have the money to travel? You can't look at it like that. You have to think of, like, can I visually take my mind somewhere that takes it off the crap I'm going through.

Yeah.

And transports me to a place that even if for a moment I feel a little bit better. And everybody has something. They probably just haven't given it focus time or whatever. So if your thing used to be walking, running, yoga, crocheting, I don't care what it is. There is something in your life that brought you even a momentary escape. And that is what can help to change that type of energy in your life. Because again, if you want to manifest happiness, you have to start getting in that lane. And by being in a victim mode or a woe is me mode or whatever, you're not in that lane. And all you're doing is asking for more crap to land in your lap, which is the last thing you want. So you have to really force yourself. You have to make that decision and say, no, you're not going to win today. You're not winning today.

Yeah.

Okay.

So that's the first thing. You got to think for a minute. You got to get out of your. You got to get it out of your head. Change your state.

Exactly. And then I think the second thing would be to really find that. Start to find that vision of, okay, well, since I don't want what I currently have, this is the last thing I want. Right. What do I want? And that is where I start everything. I mean, the first step in the book is dream it. So we have to first have a place to go. We have to have somewhere for those thoughts that want to obsess about all the bad they're add. They need a place to go. We can't just tell them to shut up. They have to have something to transfer the energy to. So that's where the vision and the vision board can really, really help is because it will give you some place to put those thoughts so then they can start, you know, daydreaming, obsessing, whatever.

Now, I want to add to that, Sarah, because. Because what might happen with the vision with some people, and I've been guilty of this myself, and I've had to work at it, is you have to dream and have the vision without worrying about the how. Because if you start going to the how, it stops you from a vision.

Yep. And I've really learned that there's really kind of two buckets of learners when it comes to this. There's one that's like the realist and the analytical. And so they really have a hard time with the how. Right. Because they like the plans, they like the list. They like to know exactly how something's going to happen. And then there's the dreamers who have no problem coming up with the dream. But where they run off the road is, you know, they get really overwhelmed Going, how do I execute on this? Both of those things. If we can kind of just remove that from the situation and realize that the best thing you can do always, even if you're not at rock bottom, no matter where you are, the best thing you can do is focus on where you want to go. This is going to start to work itself out, because the more excited you get about where you want to go and who you want to be and what life you want to live, then you'll be excited and motivated enough to be like, okay, well, now how do I do that? Yes. And then it's easy to create the plan.

Yeah.

But you can't create the plan unless you know where you want to go, what you want to do.

Amazing. Okay. And what's your third thing for them?

Oh, my gosh. So I would say that the third thing would be watch what you say. Because if our thoughts are predicting our actions and beliefs and all of that, our words are ten times more powerful. So whatever you're saying about yourself or your life is literally going to continue to be your future. So if you're walking around saying, I feel so sluggish, I'm so tired, I feel fat, whatever, you literally are forcing the universe to bring you more of that. So the one thing you can do is zip it.

Zip it. I like that.

Freaking zip it.

You don't have that hashtag in your book. You need that one.

I have the hashtag. No bitchin'. So that's the thing. Like, think about what your mom used to say. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it. Just think of your words as having superpower, and they are running out there to go bring you whatever you're saying. And if you do not want to live, whatever you just said, you better close your mouth. Don't say it.

Oh, my gosh, Sarah, I could talk.

All day with you.

And I'm going. I'm already, like, way going. I have so many more questions for you, but I'm going to stop with this because you've got a book. I want to talk about that. I want to talk about your workshop and your tour and where people can find you. Can you share?

Yes, absolutely. So the book is Hustle believe. Eight steps to changing your life and living your dream. And it is really kind of an autobiography of my story, because I always teach through my own story. It's the only way that I really know how to share what I've learned. But then it's also 51 stories of the people who influenced me and the people who were in my circle as we were talking about. So it's not just me, which I love, it's their stories too. And then it's how you, the reader can apply what we did and what you learn into your own life, which I think is huge. It has the same homework that I work personal clients through. So it's that powerful. And you can get that Amazon, it's gonna be re released in paperback next summer as well be wide release, which is exciting. And then I'm working on the second book which is Manifesting Gangsta and that'll also be out next summer as well. And then the tour. I'm doing my first ever 15 city nationwide tour where I'm gonna be crisscrossing the country every two weeks. I was just in Toronto this last weekend and heading to Minneapolis and then doing an east coast swing with New York and Boston and Philly. So if you want to learn how to do this, these are very small groups. They're maxed out at 50 people. They're between 30 and 50 people. So it's a small group and I teach you everything I know.

How do they find these groups?

Everything, everything and more that you ever want to know about me. You can find it sarahcentrella.com Sarah, you're amazing.

Thank you so much for being here.

Oh Natalie, this was so fun. Thank you so much for having me.

Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found it helpful so others can join in. And don't forget to hit that subscribe so you don't miss out on future shows. And if you would leave me a five star review. I appreciate those so much. I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you information that you find valuable and come interact with me over on Instagram at Natalie Shelf. I read all the the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day. Creating everything from nothing.