052: Creating True Leadership Through Traumatic Events with Jenna Ballard Phillips

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback? On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. For years, Jenna Ballard Phillips did not believe she was worthy of fairy tale love, career success or financial abundance.

Now why would she have believed that?

Although she had celebrity clients like Ben Stiller, Katy Perry and others, her low self esteem was blocking everything that mattered Now. Things had to get really bad many times in her life before her true light would start to shine. A rape, a head injury, brain damage, a coma, even a life threatening disease diagnosis. Now things happen for us as Jenna states. And those events led her to the committed action of shifting her mindset. She changed her thoughts and ultimately her elevated self esteem and dreams started to become a reality. Today, Jenna is on a mission to motivate and inspire as many people as possible to become leaders and make this world a better place. Jenna is clear that her purpose is to empower others to break through their limiting beliefs and create unforgettable lives. In 2016, she co founded Ascension Leadership Academy with her husband and together they have coached hundreds of people into their greatness. She's also the founder of Unicorn University, an online membership community where women never spend another day being broke, beige or behaved. Join in today and learn how Jenna leveled up and created everything from nothing.

Today on leveling Up, I've got my good friend Jenna Phillips Ballard. I'm so excited to have you here today, Jenna. Thanks for joining me.

Thank you so much for inviting me. I love that you're doing this podcast and it's like the world is better for it. So I'm just thrilled to be here.

It's my favorite thing to do. Literally my favorite thing to do. And I love when I get to talk to amazing people like you especially. So thank you.

Thank you.

So Jenna is the co founder of Ascension Leadership Academy. That's actually how I initially met her. And she's also the founder of Unicorn University. And if you were to look at her social media right now and look her up online, she literally looks like she is everywhere. She is just this magical person that you look at her and you think she just radiates positivity, happiness, motivation. You want to be in her presence. But I also know, Jenna, that that's not who you were 10 years ago. And I would love to take us back to who was that girl then, and how does she get to where she is now? So let's start with who were you then?

Oh, boy. Okay, so how old am I now? I'm 36. So when I was 26, I was a personal trainer. I worked with a lot of celebrities in Los Angeles, and I was a trainer for about 10 years, and I taught spinning, and I had this outdoor fitness program called Mission Possible, and it was like the thing in la. And I really was in this place of creating and accomplishing success in such a way that I was all about chasing my dreams and crushing my goals and being a maniac on a mission. And I really felt inspired and called to support people in transforming. But it was all about the exterior. It wasn't from the inside out. Even though I had this, I really brought positive mindset and love yourself and you can do anything. Into my workouts, there was this even deeper sense of transformation that I hadn't experienced yet, because I hadn't experienced the world of transformation as you and I know it. Emotional intelligence, personal development. I really was just on my own mission to really motivate and inspire people, because I got a lot of my inspiration from the time that I was in a head trauma accident. When I was 17, I woke up from a coma with brain damage and made a full recovery. And through that experience, that's how I learned what it meant to persevere. And that's when I really got into health and fitness, because I was also diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. So I really took life in my own hands and realized that I got to be active and eat well. And so that's really how I kind of got into the whole fitness thing. But I was really. I found myself constantly outsourcing my worthiness, like I was always trying to. I was gauging my worth based upon the kind of accomplishments that I had. And I also based my worthiness based on the kind of men that I was dating or not dating. And so I really had this endless experience of not feeling like I was enough.

Okay, so wait to back up a minute, because you gave me so many things are now my head's whirling around with questions. So the first thing I wrote down that you just said, you mentioned that you initially were basing success on exterior things. Can you explain what that means? Like, do you mean, like, literally the way you look or like, you mentioned the men that you were dating. Explain what you mean by exterior, because I think a lot of people do this, and I want to explain what that means.

Yeah, I, you know, I really. I didn't realize this until I went through my personal development journey, through the trainings that we offer at Ascension Leadership Academy. Now, when I went through this as a student, I had no awareness around the fact that I felt like I wasn't worthy, But I didn't realize that that was a lie. I literally thought that that was actually true. So I felt like I had to prove. I had to prove that I was amazing. I had to prove that I was awesome. And I found myself showing up in relationships with this pretense of I'm not worthy. So let me kind of reinvent who I am in this communication or in this conversation so that you think I'm awesome or. And so I really attracted a lot of really powerful people into my life. My first private client was Ben Stiller. And so I realized, and I felt so good about that. I was like, wow, maybe I'm really great. And so maybe I'm really awesome. And I kept attracting these really powerful clients into my life. Not seeing it from the standpoint of I'm attracting these kinds of people into my life because I'm intrinsically abundant, I'm intrinsically worthy, I'm intrinsically amazing. I really kind of gauged that on just my external success and kind of paired those results with that. I didn't realize it was all coming from within.

So what's the danger in that? Because I know a lot of people do that. Like, they're so concerned with how they look, which obviously is a never ending vicious cycle. You know, like, whether that's how you physically look or who you're hanging out with or what. What's the danger in that? I'd love for you to touch on that.

Well, the danger in that is that if you're constant, it winds up being like a hamster wheel marathon. It can really be exhausting. So I actually did a post about this on Instagram this morning about how women who are so great at doing. They're great at doing their goals, they're great at doing the things, they're great at doing their to do list, but they don't realize that actually what has them create and attract and experience their most rewarding experiences are because of who they're being. It's like because of their magic, because of their confidence, because of their warmth, because of the way that they be with people. It's because of their heart. And so I know a lot of really powerful women. You know, I work specifically with women, I work with men and women in ala, but what I do in the online space is all really geared around women. And so the women that I really love to support are women who are powerful, who have created and generated a lot of success in their life. But they're missing, there's something missing in them. Either they, they don't give themselves time to have joy in their life or playtime. They really are constantly in the doing this and it really is exhausting. So if you're constantly looking for an external source of your sense of worthiness, then you will never be fulfilled. Yeah, the actual source from within.

Okay, so you were living this. And if I had told you this 10 years ago, you probably would have like a lot of people listening to this might be like, okay, I hear you, but it's not really resonating yet. They're still in this chase of this external validation. Do you believe this head trauma and the type 1 diabetes diagnosis, which I want to dive into that a little bit more too. But do you believe that that happened for you at this point so you could see this?

Absolutely. So I, it was really interesting because I didn't know anything about Law of Attraction and you know, for all of you who are super science based, I just want to say that Law of Attraction is not this airy fairy woo woo hippie stuff. Like it really is actually physics. So. So when you have a thought, whether it's positive or negative, and you continue to have this thought and you continue to fuel this thought, like it winds up being a story that you keep telling. That's actually how you attract the very thing that you're thinking about. So your thoughts are just as powerful as your words and your actions. Because everything is an energy vibration. Like everything is energy, everything is vibration. And when we start to really understand that everything is actually connected in this universe, that's when we can really tap into our magic to be able to call in everything. So at the time that I, I was in my head trauma accident, I was actually really depressed. I wasn't taking care of myself. I was living a very unhealthy life. I was smoking cigarettes every day while.

You were a trainer. I love.

No, this was when I was 17. Okay, got it before my head trauma accident. So I'm talking about how I basically manifested.

Okay, okay.

So I was smoking weed every day, cigarettes, self medicating, drinking alcohol, taking pain meds, and I was self diagnosed depressed. And I wound up going through therapy. But what I didn't realize was that I had diabetes in the early stages, developing my body. And high blood sugar levels can actually create symptoms of being depressed, low energy, sluggish. And so I didn't realize that that was happening in my body. But I kept focusing on this. I didn't believe that I was worthy. I felt like I wasn't enough. I felt like I didn't have any friends. So I kept thinking I would literally lay in bed and obsess about this at night. I wish that I could witness my own funeral, because then I would see who actually cared about me. Then I would see who actually believed in me and loved me. If I could see who would show up to my funeral. And I focus on this so much that it got to the point of it feeling very real for me. And I thought I was like, geez, that's kind of. Kind of dark. I don't want to die, actually. What if I could be in some kind of an accident where it would be serious enough for me to be in the icu? I wouldn't break anything. I wouldn't damage my face. I was modeling at the time. So I was very specific about this. And you really were. You placed your order literally. Like, I literally set my order. Like my to go order for the universe. So I really thought about it. And then, sure enough, a couple months later, I moved into a new house with my stepdad and my mom and, you know, my new family. And I was decorating for a huge party. We had a barn on the property, and I was in the hay loft, and I was hanging a sheet on the ceiling, walking backwards, and I basically ran out of floor and fell 14ft, landed on my head on concrete, and I don't remember falling at all. And the doctors. So I was instantly in a coma. I was unconscious. I went to the icu and my doctors were saying to my parents, you know, this is. Even though your daughter's in a coma, and we're not sure when she's going to wake up. This is a miracle. We don't know how she didn't break her neck. We don't know how she doesn't have any broken bones. It doesn't make any sense. It's a total miracle. I had a fractured skull, two brain contusions. So my brain was bruised on either side. So my brain was swelling. And they said, you know, we don't think she's going to wake up from her coma anytime soon, but when she does finally wake up. If she does wake up, she will likely have permanent brain damage and she'll never be the same. Wow. So the miracle was that I woke up literally the next day after this whole thing happened. And because I woke up sooner than later, my brain damage was not permanent. Like, I still. It took me a long time to. I had no short term memory. I had to relearn how to read and write and communicate, put my thoughts into words. And I still have some. I still make up words every once in a while. Like, I talked in this weird gibberish language right around that time. And I sometimes still kind of like blend words and make up words. And I attribute that to my temporary brain damage. But, you know, it just. I really learned how to persevere, and I learned how to rise above, you know, to level up and rise above what it meant to work really hard. And I only had one semester left of high school, and the doctor said, we don't think you're going to be able to graduate on time. And this is when I really learned what it means to utilize the power of I am. Because my doctors were having this conversation with my mom saying, we think it's going to be way too stressful. She shouldn't even try to finish high school on time. So we actually think she should just really take it easy. And I'm thinking, you don't know me. I'm like, I am going to graduate on time. I am class of 2000. I have to walk my class. So I went. I missed three weeks of school. I went back, I hustled, I studied, I applied myself, and it was very challenging. But I graduated with the highest GPA that I ever had because I really applied myself in a way that I never had before. So it absolutely happened for me. And I, you know, I really learned that I've just really kind of been my slogan that everything happens for me, not to me.

Wow. Okay. Gosh, so many different things. But what I'm hearing now, what almost is coming up for me is that that gave you this. This opening to Law of Attraction and the power of your mind and saying I am and all of that. And it's almost like you got directed into this one direction with the personal training and these celebrity clients and all of this stuff. And that was not fully your path yet.

You know, it's like you.

You. It's like you almost. You heard that you need to make an impact. You started making it, but you weren't fully aligned with what your path is.

What changed?

Because you could have Stayed stuck in that and the LA scene and the celebrity clients, you would have continued to get more and more and more of those. What shifted you into what you do now?

Well, I found myself feeling very unfulfilled. Like, I. At one point, personal training and screaming at people and getting them inspired to get in shape was really a passion of mine, and I really enjoyed it. And then I started to feel like I was just collecting a paycheck. And I realized I actually used to train Jackie Warner. Do you know who Jackie Warner is? So she was my client, and we would always talk shop about how she's created the success that she has as a trainer. And she said to me, I'll never forget it. She was in the middle of a butt exercise, and she said, don't ever do it for the money. I was like, got it.

Okay, noted.

And it was really interesting. I ran into her probably. I would say, probably like five or six years ago, and I said, jackie, I was like, do you remember me? And she's like, totally. You got my butt in amazing shape. And I said, I just want to acknowledge you, because this was after I'd done all the work that I did through personal development. I said, I really learned the power of acknowledgement. I said, jackie, I want to acknowledge you because you gave me the best advice that anyone has ever given me. And she's like, what was that? And. And I said, you told me to never do it for the money. And she's like. I said that. She's like, I wish I would have listened to my own advice. Because she wound up getting into this place of kind of doing it for the money, and she wound up starting over. So I really learned. I kept remembering that when she told me that it never left me, and I realized I'd gotten to the place with my personal training, and I work with amazing people. I worked with the entire Marciano family. They're the founders of Guest. Very abundant people. I worked with princesses from Saudi Arabia, Mark hoppus from Blink 182. Just really amazing, amazing people. And even though that was fun for me, I found myself being very limited because I was working with one person at a time. And I was like, what would it look like for me to work with groups of people, like, groups of influencers, where I can really stand for them to really transform their lives from the inside out? Because I felt like there was something deeper available for me. I just didn't know what it was going to look like. And then somebody enrolled me into the trainings that we now offer at ala. And I had all these stories. I was like, I could probably teach the course. And I've done every. I've done all these things. I've read all the books, I've listened to all the podcasts, blah, blah, blah, on and on. But I couldn't have been more wrong about it, because when I actually went through the training, it was just. It was so different and unique and something I never really experienced before. So it was really powerful for me to look within and then see the world through a different lens that I didn't even know was possible.

Yeah, explain that. Okay, a couple questions here. Explain that, because the types of trainings that you offer are very different than typical masterminds or coaching or weekend seminars. What makes that different? And I know a lot of people sometimes will say, well, I'm very up to date on personal development. They read, they listen to podcasts, they do that. Can you talk about that type of training and why it's different to be in the experience versus just reading and listening?

Well, what's really amazing about our trainings is that they're all experiential. So there are workshops like. Like Landmark, for example. So Landmark is a very cerebral, heady kind of training. There's a lot of lecture. And what's different about our trainings compared to Landmark, or compared to a mastermind or compared to, like a speaker event where you go and you listen, you take notes, and you write stuff down. Our trainings are completely experiential. So the way that I'll compare Landmark to ALA is at Landmark, they tell you what it would be like to have a strawberry in your mouth. But at ala, you literally have the strawberry in your mouth. So you really get to, on a somatic level, experience transformation, experience different metaphorical situations where you get to look at how you show up out in the real world and everything's a big mirror for you. And so you give and receive honest, direct, intimate feedback, which is really, for a lot of people, the first time they've ever experienced something like that. And for me, there are three different levels to our trainings. And the first level, when I went through as a student, I realized how not intimate I was. I realized that I was not vulnerable in my relationships. I realized that I didn't. I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust other people. And it really. I wouldn't have been able to see that had I not gone through the experience because I thought, literally, I thought that I had deep connections with people. I thought that I was close with people. I thought that I had, you know, credibility in my relationships. And I learned very, very quickly that because of my subconscious belief that I was not worthy, even though I didn't realize that was a subconscious belief, because of that belief, I created a wedge between me and the relationships in my life. And it really.

A lot of people do. A lot of people do this. What would you tell somebody listening that doesn't like personal development or doesn't believe there's a place for it?

Here's what I believe. As long as we're alive on this planet, we're always going to have opportunities to grow and learn and expand. I think that the very thing, the most important thing that's missing in schools is emotional intelligence and personal development.

Can you explain what emotional intelligence means? Because I know people hear that term, they hear personal development. What is the difference? What does that mean, emotional intelligence? Because there's statistics now showing that it's not your iq, it's your emotional intelligence that is everything.

Absolutely.

Your success, that shows your happiness, everything. Can you explain what that is?

Sure, yeah. So we all have emotions. And when we have emotions, we get to realize that it's not necessarily factual, the emotions that we're having. It really is a response to a situation that we find ourselves in. So every event is neutral. And how we choose to respond or how we choose to react in any given situation is actually entirely up to us. And when we realize that, when we realize that we are actually responsible for our own emotions, then not only can we kind of navigate them and put ourselves in check rather than be angry and be triggered and react and respond in a way that's not ideal, then we can be grounded in the way that we communicate to people. We can take the higher road. We can learn how to forgive. We can learn how to let go of our anger and our resentment. And this is something that I wound up facilitating. A level two. We obviously have level one, two and three. At ala, I facilitated a level two for teenagers at another center in Ohio. And to see these teenagers let go of their anxiety, their angst, their lack of confidence, their lack of self worth, and scream out like from the depths of their soul who they really authentically are. I can't even tell you how beautiful and amazing that was. And I really. My vision is that this is available for teenagers all across the country, because that's incredible. And yes, of course, this is powerful for also adults. And I think that the biggest challenge is that because teenagers don't have access to this kind of work, we wind up having a lot of adults who are walking around without any awareness about their emotions or any awareness about how they show up in the world. They have no awareness about who they are in relationships or how people perceive them. And it's not until we have this metaphorical mirror held up in front of our face that we can actually see what's hiding in our blind spots.

Yeah. And I'll tell you from a personal experience, those trainings changed my life. I wouldn't have this podcast if it wasn't for those trainings. So I understand everything that you're saying. I highly recommend that work. I think it's a huge foundation. It's so important for so many people. What do you want people to know about you now? Like, who are you now? What do you stand for now? What do you want them to know?

What I stand for now is a world filled with worthy women. And when I say worthy women, at the basis of a woman, when she knows that she's worthy, she treats her body with respect. She doesn't allow people to come into her life to take advantage of her or not respect her. She puts her self care as a number one priority. She fills up her cup so she can give in a more powerful way. She allows herself to receive and attract the abundance that she's worthy of. She doesn't allow people to nickel and dime her. She really lives her vision and she focuses out in such a way that she can be in contribution to the planet at a higher capacity. So the work that I'm committed to now is creating a tribe of women who are leaders, who are worthy, who believe in themselves and really live their vision. Because I believe that the future is woman. I really do believe that.

I think a lot of people listening are probably thinking, gosh, that's me. I feel the opposite of all those things. I know there's women listening, thinking that. What would you say? First of all, I want to know why is that such a trend that people start feeling unworthy? Where does that even come from? And what would you suggest if people were to start trying to shift that right now? What's something they can do do to start shifting that?

The biggest thing. And I actually just completed my first ebook that I'm going to be launching any day now. And I really talk about this in my ebook. It's called I Am Her Now, A Mini Guide to youo Inner Abundance. Okay. And I really talk about being able to give yourself permission to connect to the source of these beliefs. Because these beliefs we're not born with. We're not born with a belief that we're not worthy. When we're born, we have universal knowledge, we have universal wisdom. We know that anything is possible. We know that we can literally have anything. So when we're two years old and we hear and understand, no for the first time, I mean, that's a complete meltdown because it goes against everything we believe in. You know, like we live the truth. The fact of the matter is we absolutely can have whatever it is that we want. And you know, it really is understanding that there are things that we have and things that we experience in our life. Like our dad forgets to pick us up from school or our mom forgets to go to our school play or you know, our uncle lies to us, or we expect experience these things, these heartaches and these heartbreaks. And in those moments, from a survival, from a survival standpoint, we make up this story to kind of wrap our brain around it, to understand it. And these stories are based upon, you know, we don't have this emotional tool or this emotional guidance in the moment. So we create and generate these stories that aren't even real. Oh, I'm not worthy. My dad forgot to pick me up from school. So I must not matter. I must not be important enough to my dad. If I'm not important enough for my dad, then who will I ever be worthy enough for?

Or even worse, I feel that people might not even verbalize those words, but they start justifying like, oh, it's okay, it's okay, right?

Absolutely. And so what I kept generating in my life, the source of my lack of self worth was a belief that I was never ever, no matter what I did, even though I was an over accomplisher, no matter what I did, I was never going to be enough for my dad. I was never going to be approved of by my dad. And when I was younger I just wanted to play with Barbies and sing and dance and be super girly. But my dad was an uber athlete. Like he was like a world class athlete. He taught Olympians how to ski. Like he was just amazing. He was the coach of all things, soccer, softball, baseball, everything, basketball. And so I watched him celebrate the athletes where he was the coach of these sports. And I didn't really get that from him because he loved sports so much. So I was like, well, I need to play sports if I'm ever going to get the approval from my dad. But because I didn't care about sports, I wasn't that good. I was never A starting player. I was never a first string player. So then my ego got to be right about the fact that I'm not enough and I'm not worthy. So I kept generating these experiences and I would look for validation in other men because I wouldn't get it from my dad. And so I found myself seeking these unlikely relationships. So either they were too young, they were emotionally unavailable, they lived too far away, or it was this challenge. And so I would create these conquest like experiences. And then once I got them to be my boyfriend for however long, then I felt like I accomplished something and I felt worthy. And so I kept creating and generating these experiences in my life. And that was also another reason why I was really calling in something different. Because I kept experiencing these failed relationships and feeling unworthy, even though I had all the success in my life. So it really was through these trainings that a, I realized that I'm worthy. I realized the kind of relationship that I wanted to attract. And it was a couple months after I graduated from these trainings that I manifested my now husband, Brad Ballard. And you know, I was always looking, I was always on this mission to find my person. And so I was being very masculine in my, in my pursuits. And I really didn't create space for a man to be masculine enough to pursue me.

So explain what you mean by. Because I think when women hear women being too masculine, they think of all of a sudden this total butch, you know, like manly man woman. But that's not what you mean by that. Can you explain what you mean? Because this is really important for women to hear too. A lot of women, yeah, especially successful women tend to step into this masculine role. Can you explain what that means?

Yeah. So it's not about, about what you look like, it's about how you be, it's who you be so that have masculine and feminine energy. Everything in nature is masculine and feminine. If you think about a flower, the stem of the flower is masculine and the blossom, the, you know, the actual flower itself is feminine. So there's, there's a masculine, feminine balance in every living thing. And so I my ways of being the way that I generated and created success. I thought that because I was still trying to kind of heal my relationship with my dad was being very, very masculine. Even though underneath it all I wanted to be this feminine, graceful woman. I didn't feel saf. And my story that I made up was I'm not strong being feminine, I'm not strong being a girl. So I was always trying to like I had this big masculine car, like this chunky car. And you know, and so I just, everything in my, in my space, I was doing, you know, battle ropes and I was like, yeah, like, I was like, you know, so, so masculine in my energy and my ways of being. So I, I realized after I'd gone through these trainings and then I did a workshop called Grace that my, one of my mentors created. And, and in this training, it's all somatic training. And I really got to em the difference between masculine and feminine energy. And I'm like, oh, actually my strength is in my feminine and what it means to actually receive. I mean, if you think about it, women are genetically designed to receive, so it's actually very natural for a woman to receive. But we, today's modern woman is a dream chaser and a goal crusher. And like, do, do, do. I got this. I don't need a man. Which is fine. However, if you're wanting to attract a masculine partner, you really get to be clear about the kind of energy you're putting out there. So it really. When I made that mental shift, I declared to the universe, I said, I am worthy of being found by an incredible man who's going to love, cherish, honor and respect me. And literally three days later, Brad found me@match.com and sent me a message and we began this whole back and forth. And on our second date, we knew we were going to be married. So I love that. Yeah, we all have the power to use this magic wand and we all have one. We just get to remember that we have access to it.

Wow. Okay, Jenna, I want to also, I want to shift a little bit to. I've watched you do it twice where you from some other place created a whole new brand, Avatar Direction. So for instance, you were a trainer in LA and you literally moved to San Diego because of a vision and created a business from nothing. I want to know. And then I watched you do it again with Unicorn University. What does it take to do that? Because there's a lot of people listening that are, they don't love what they do. They don't feel called to what they're doing. Maybe they're resonating with some of the things that you said, but maybe they're just not. They are doing it for the money. Maybe they're just not happy. What did it take to be able to make a decision and just do it? Not knowing what the future was going to hold for those things?

Yeah, well, I definitely took a blind leap of faith and I'VE reinvented myself so many times. My branding has looked so different, so many different times over. And, and I really am an explorer. I love to explore, I love to have new experiences. You've heard me say this in our trainings before, that nobody needs to travel, except I kind of need to travel. I really love to experience all that I can. And so when we came down to San Diego and literally created a massive community of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of amazing people, it really took a decision, like simply deciding that it's going to happen. Because if you go into something, I actually kind of bring this back to when I jumped off a 35 foot cliff in Jamaica not too long ago. I was standing at the edge of a cliff and this guy who was kind of guiding people to jump off the cliff, he was the lifeguard. He said, he started counting down from three. He said three, two. And when he got to two, my whole life was flashing before my eyes. And I was thinking about how this is a perfect metaphor for my life. I knew that as soon as he got to one, I had to go. I couldn't, I would not go if I thought about it or if I gave it too much. I literally just had to make the decision to just.

My hands are sweating listening to.

So he. So it was crazy. I thought about Unicorn University, I thought about I Am her now, this program I just launched. I thought about Ala. I thought about all the things. And as soon as he got to one, I jumped. I just, I just literally let go of the edge and I'm like. And the first five seconds was really cool. And then about halfway down I'm like, this is not a good idea. And then I. It was all good. It was amazing. Which is just like life with, you know, when you start something, you're excited, like, okay, this is a really good idea. Wait, maybe not. I don't know, maybe I should not have done this.

It's too late.

Yeah, it's too late. Like you can't turn back. So, you know, anytime I declare that I'm going to do something, I do it. And so I moved my entire life, Brad and I moved our entire lives to San Diego. And I had a. I lived in LA for 14 years. I had a tribe, I had a community. There was really no reason, no logical reason for me to leave. But I knew that our next step was to create this container because nothing else like it existed in San Diego. So we really were the pioneers of this work in San Diego. We just decided to make it happen and So I declared to the universe that it was going to be done. So I personally enrolled 19 people into the first training in a matter of like two weeks. And I just, I was going to speaking events. I just simply decided, I don't care what it looks like or what I have to do, I'm just going to make it happen. And so I really just did everything I possibly could to get creative and think outside the box. And we really were just, we were so blessed to create and generate this amazing tribe. And then with Unicorn University, you know that that vision actually was birthed at Burning Man. So my first time ever going to Burning Man, I was literally a unicorn. All week long I had these outrageous costumes. And my vision for going to Burning man really was to embrace the fullest expression of myself because so I went when I was three years ago. So, yeah, I think I was like 34 when I went to Burning man the first time. And it was about five years after I was raised by a man that completely turned my world inside out, upside down. And so I stopped modeling after that experience because I didn't feel safe in showing my skin or being the fullest expression of me. So I really found myself kind of limiting who I was being and not being the fullest, fullest expression of me. So it was really powerful because I got to really explore what it meant to be the fullest extension, the fullest expression of me at Burning Man. And then when I got back from Burning Man, I thought about it, about how I looked at all the different speaker events and all the masterminds, all the things. And I thought about how similar they all are and how it's like the boys club and how there's like most of them are just a lot of guys. And I thought about, I'm like, what if I created an experience where women, where I could bring the magic of Burning Man, I could bring the magic of what it means to actually be a unicorn to the event space. And I had this vision for creating this unicorn, like event. And I literally went home and I downloaded this just information that was really outside of me, but really within me. And I completely downloaded my six week course and created the idea for Unicorn University. And within a matter of like three hours, I simply just opened up my mind to a different possibility and allowed the information to come to me.

Okay, you just said so many golden.

Things that I want to circle back a minute. So one, I want everyone to notice that just like every single guest I've had on the show, like literally every day, single it's textbook. Every single guest, there's three things that they all say that they were able to create everything, nothing from. They all had a vision, they decided it, and they declared it. Hands down, every single guest has said that it's never without fail. So if you don't have a vision for what you want, you don't actually decide and you don't declare it, it doesn't happen. But those three things are that formula. So I want everyone to notice that the next thing is you totally blurted out and then skipped right over it, the rape incident. And I just want to know what that was and when that was, because that was that before you went through this work, Was it after you went through the work?

This was literally a few months after I graduated from this work. And Brad and I had only known each other. We'd been dating for like two weeks when this happened. So I just met Brad. We just decided we're a couple. It's a thing. We're together. And I went on a vacation with a girlfriend of mine, with two girlfriends of mine. We'd been planning to go on this cruise for like, months. And so. So we're on this cruise. And it was a really interesting time for me because I just finished doing this 90 day challenge of a different kind of fitness every single day. And strictly Paleo. No sugar, no dairy, no coffee, nothing. I was super uber Paleo. And my physique, my body was in really incredible shape and I had all this energy and I felt great when I was on this cruise. I think it was like the second day that I was on the cruise that I stepped on a. I was barefoot on the ship deck and I stepped on a wine glass that was laying on its side. I couldn't see it because it was clear. And it sliced my foot open. I broke under my foot. A huge shard of glass was sticking in the bottom of my foot and I had to get stitches and I was in a wheelchair basically the rest of the time. And so I was so bummed out and just really depressed about the fact that that had happened in my mind. My vacation was over. And there was one day where we had. We got off the ship and my friend and I basically drank our body weight margaritas. I drank so much. I wasn't being responsible with my body. I wasn't taking care of my body, and I was completely blackout drunk. My friend wheeled me back onto the ship and we get back to our room and I pass out. I fall asleep, and it was just pitch black in there. I woke up to. I was completely just not coherent. And I started to come to. To, like, wake up because I realized something was happening to me. And I woke up to a man with his fingers inside of me. And it was, you know. And I used to classify rape as, you know, like sexual intercourse. Like, sexual intercourse. But I realized that I started to really look into what I experienced. And any type of foreign object or any type of foreign. Anything that enters your body without permission is considered rape. And I really started to, like, look at that. I'm like, wow. So in that experience, I made my body wrong. I found a lot of shame in what had happened, and I learned that the guy who did that to me was the guy that my friend was hooking up with. So when we got back to the room, he came into the room and they were hooking up. And then when she passed out, he came over to me. So it was a really. I was embarrassed. I felt so much shame. I made my body wrong. And I started to binge eat. I. I ate so much food the rest of the time I was on this cruise, and I couldn't exercise, so I was gaining weight. I go back to Brad. I'm like, this gimp. And I didn't tell him what happened for like, a year after it happened. And it really turned me inside out, upside down. And I found myself. Here's why I'm. I wouldn't wish this on anybody, obviously, but I chose to see why. I was actually grateful for the experience because it had me understand humanity in a community completely different way. And I believe that it actually made me a more powerful leader because I'm able to work more directly with people who have had trauma at that level, and I'm able to support them in releasing it. And you've experienced the work that I've done with people at ala so I'm really passionate about doing somatic work with people and really healing trauma.

Yeah. What do you want women to know about? Because there's a lot of women listening that have been raped or experienced something like that, and they're holding onto it, and they are the ones eating to cover it up or not talking about it. What do you want to tell. Tell them about healing that trauma.

What I want to say to you is, it wasn't your fault. You just get to understand that people who are hurting and suffering, if they're not responsible with their trauma, they will continue to try to get their power back. It was when I realized. I thought about this, and I thought, I wonder what happened to him in his life, that gave him the idea to do this to anybody else else. Like, who would have the thought to do this to anybody else. Like, that's not in my consciousness. I would never think to do this anybody else. So, yeah, a lot of. A lot of people. A lot of men who. Men and women sexually abuse men and women, boys and girls. Like, it's not just a man abusing women thing. Like, it really is. It's a. It's a. It's a thing that's been going on for thousands of years, and it's been plaguing our humanity for thousands of years. And so I'm committed to ending the cycle. And when I chose to forgive him and I chose to really have compassion for him as a human being, then it supported me in getting my power back and being able to speak about it in a way that I was no longer a victim. So that really began the healing of the rape and the experience and being able to support people and also getting their. I want to be a voice for the voiceless. My commitment is to use my experience as something that can actually fuel my fire and support my vision and my mission and becoming even bigger. Because this is something that impacts. I don't know if it's the majority, but really a significant portion of the people on this planet, a lot of it never goes reported. So the, you know, the statistics say that it's 1 in 3 girls is sexually abused and 1 in 4 boys is sexually abused. And by the time a woman is in her 40s, I think it's. I mean, I don't even know the exact stats, but it's a significant amount of women have been raped by the time they're in their 40s.

That's just incredible numbers.

Wow. Yeah.

All right, Jenna, this is a question I ask everybody on the show, and I'm curious your take on it. So if somebody's listening and they're on their own personal rock bottom, and you demonstrated many times that you've been through these, whether maybe they were raped or it's there or it's a financial rock bottom or it's the brain trauma, you had their own personal rock bottom, whatever that is, and they're feeling stuck right now. What are three things you could tell them to do that would help starting. Getting them to start leveling up and create everything for nothing right now.

Number one, I want you to remember that so far, you've survived 100% of your worst days.

Oh, that's good.

And nothing can hold you down. Nothing can stop you. And number two, I want you to realize that no matter what it is that you're experiencing, if you decide, simply make the decision that in some capacity, somehow, some way, it's happening for you not to you really make that decision, then you can start to look at the blessings and it's either there's lessons, blessings, I like to say blessings. So look at the blessings that are available for you through all of this and decide that for some reason it's meant for you, it's designed for you so that you can become a stronger version of yourself. And just know that the universe does not. And thirdly, know that the universe does not want you to fail. The universe wants you to actually persevere. And the universe only gives you what you can handle. God only gives you what you can handle. And just know that this is designed for you for some reason and, and trust that everything is temporary. Everything is temporary. And you also get to ask for support and know that there are people around you who have either been through something that you're going through right now, and there is an infinite amount of support all around you. You can get information online. You can read books, you can absolutely without question, you can look within, you can look outside of you. There's so much information out there that can support you.

Jenna, where can people find you? Tell us where can they find more about Ala? Where can they find more about Unicorn University? Where are you most, where do you spend most of your time online? Let us know all that so they know where to find you.

I used to operate significantly on Facebook. I just started taking Instagram more seriously so you guys can find me on, on Facebook and Instagram. I'm pretty easy to find. I'm the only Jenna Phillips Ballard in the entire universe, so you can find me pretty easily that way. You can also go to alasandiego.com you can check out jennifellipsballard.com unicorn university.com so there's a lot of stuff that's coming and keep your eyes peeled for all the things.

Yes, I love it.

Thank you so much, Jenna, for being a guest.

Yeah, my pleasure. Thank you for having me. I love you so much.

Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found.

It helpful so others can join in.

And don't forget to hit that subscribe.

So you don't miss out on future shows.

And if you would leave me a five star review.

I appreciate those so much.

I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you.

Information that you find valuable and come.

Interact with me over on Instagram @nataliejo. Fit. I read all the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day. Creating everything from nothing.

Sam.