055: Reinventing herself at 50 with Terri Murphy

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback? On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst, learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. Terry Murphy will be 51 this August. She is bubbly, glowing, has contagious energy about her, and she is extremely fit. By looking at her, you would assume that she is just genetically blessed. However, when I met Terry Murphy a few years ago, she was overweight, depressed, low on energy, and in her own words, hated herself. She had tried everything. Yo yo dieted constantly and continually would lose faith in getting and staying healthy. As I talk with her today, she's a totally different person than the Terry that I had met a few years ago. She is healthy, strong, glowing, full of passion and purpose. You would never know by looking at her that the different Terri ever existed. Terri took a first step. She decided that enough was enough and that she was ready to make a change. She today, with the excess weight totally gone, a newfound confidence, and a love of life, Terri shares exactly how she leveled up and created everything from nothing. Today on Leveling Up, I've got Terri Murphy. Special edition today. Terri, thank you so much for being here today.

Thanks for having me, Natalie. This is going to be so much fun.

I'm so excited you said yes to this. Okay, so who is Terri? Terri is one of my favorite clients. I have so many favorite clients, but I'm going to say you're one of my favorite clients. And I really wanted to interview you today because I was telling Terri before we started recording that I know that I've had success with a client when they literally don't need me ever again, and I never hear from them. So they become that person I saw in them that I knew they could step into. And when I don't hear from them anymore, I know, okay, we've won. We've done this. They are there, and that's you. So thank you so much, Terri, for being here. I'm dying to jump in and interview you and share with my audience who you were and who you stepped into and become, because your transformation is seriously out of this world.

Well, thank you.

Yeah. So, Terri, okay, when I met you and you guys, I'm going to have a. I'm Going to have a picture so you guys can see this, because this is just absolutely incredible. I'm going to put the picture on my social media so you can see it. When I met Terri, she was a completely different person than she is today. She was overweight. She described herself as depressed, sad, didn't really have a purpose or a vision for what she wanted. She just knew she wasn't happy. And she has literally stepped into this whole new person. I don't even recognize her. She's. First of all, if you saw her right now, like, you would look at her and go, she's just genetically beautiful and fit. That's what you would think. But I know that before the old Terri, the history of Terri, the person you were pretending to be when I met you, because that's not really your authentic self, was a very different person. Do you remember, Terri, who you were when you first came to me?

I do, Natalie. I had to go back and think about that a bit when you first asked me to come on the podcast, because, honestly, I had forgotten all about her. I moved forward, and I'm living my new life that I love so much, thanks to you and your programs. And I do remember her, but thankfully, I do have to go back and think about those days. And I'm certainly glad that I was over, you know, able to overcome adversity and move forward and become the person I am today.

Yeah. So tell me what you remember, whether it was from your notes or what, but who was that person that reached out to me first? Like, who. When you. Because you were overweight at the time and you were sad, like, tell me what it was like living in your body at that time.

Well, it wasn't fun, that's for sure. I definitely didn't like myself. I. In my younger years, I was always fit and healthy and happy. I was a figure skater and very outgoing and loved myself and loved life. And then I was in an accident and had an injury, a serious back injury. And after that, I never recovered. I never regained who I am, and I definitely gained a lot of weight. I was overweight and unhealthy and unhappy, and I. I didn't like myself. I didn't like my life or where I was going. And it was. I felt like I was stuck in a rut and had no way out, and there was sort of no light at the end of the tunnel. And I knew that I didn't like where I was, but I didn't know how to get to where I wanted to be.

How long, like, how many years would you say you were living in that place? Because you said you started, you were a figure skater, you were fit, Then you had this injury. Was it. Was it that injury that changed your thinking around your physical body? Like, what. What was the span from, like, injury to where you had gotten yourself?

It was a lot of years. So it was. I found after I was injured, it was just snowballing and it kept. I kept getting more unhealthy and more unhealthy and worse and worse. And so it was. Oh, my goodness, it had to be about 10 years that I felt unwell and didn't like myself and stuck in a rut. And it felt like it just kept getting worse all the time instead of better. I didn't see how to make it better.

How was your energy and focus during those times?

It was terrible. I was exhausted. I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. I felt tired all the time. Very low energy. Not probably. Or Pepe or my. The self that I am now at all. And. Yeah, just exhausted and low energy for sure.

And did you put that together with your health? Like, did you know you were low focus, low energy because of your weight, or what was the story you were telling yourself? Was it because of the accident in your mind? What was going through your mind on why you were there?

Well, interestingly enough, I didn't put it together and I actually didn't know, or I actually just didn't know. And I think that when I was in that space, it was easier just to ignore it and not deal with it and not think about it and not figure it out. It was just easier just to continue on with the daily grind and sort of accept where I was.

That's so interesting because I think people listening, I mean, I know that they can relate to that. Like, it's almost like we just don't. We don't have time to deal with it. Like, it's there, it's heavy, but I have to focus on the doing right now. Is that what was going through your head? Like, I just have to focus on task at hand. I mean, you were a mom. You had all this stuff going on.

Yes, absolutely. Because as a mom of young kids and working full time and raising kids, I definitely put myself last and. And quit my job and put my kids first, which all moms do. But at some point, knowing what I know now, we have to decide that we're worth it and that we can invest time in ourselves as well. And that was the transition for me. When I decided that I needed to do something. And I didn't quite know what that was until I found you and your bubbly personality on the social media, actually. And I thought, I want to be just like her.

Oh, my gosh, that's so funny. I love that you just said decided, because I always say deciding comes first. I can't help anybody unless they've decided that they're ready to make a change. Like, that's literally that. So I'm assuming before you decided, I'm assuming you tried things at some point, like maybe somebody told you about a diet or shake or workout or whatever. Or maybe you didn't. Did you. What was. Did you have Those over the 10 years before you officially decided, were you like, attempted or tried something?

Absolutely. In fact, I. Yo. Yo. Dieted quite a bit. I would because I thought that if I was thin, per se, or had lost the fat, that that would make me happy. And so I did try diets and a lot of fad diets. And the diets work. You know what, you do the diet, you lose the weight, but diets aren't sustainable. And as soon as you stop that diet, I literally gained all the weight back. And then I actually gained more weight back each time and then would get further upset and further feeling bad about myself. And that's one thing that I really like about meeting you and doing your programs is the holistic approach. It's not just a diet, and it's not about losing fat and it's not about being thin. It's the overall holistic approach about why, you know, why do you want to be thin? What do you want out of your life?

Yeah, I sneak that stuff in, don't I? Like, people come to me for the fat loss, but I get sneaky.

You do get sneaky. It's not about the fat loss at all. It's about the holistic approach to your entire life. For sure.

Yeah. I love that. Ok, so talk to me about that decision to decide. Like, because you had evidence of. I tried these things, they didn't work. I gained more back. Maybe I'm just meant to be this. Like, we tend to people in life, we find evidence to support whatever we're going through. So how did it get to like, okay, now I'm done and I've decided, like, where did that. How did that happen?

Oh, wow, that's a good question. I'm just trying to remember exactly. And like, it.

Was it a moment that you did. You would your. Did your back at worse, did you feel did somebody say something to you? Was it your kids? Was it just health? Was it scrolling social media like something must have triggered that decision? And I want people to understand that because I know so many times we think we've decided, but we're so stuck on the trying. But once we definitively decide, like this is happening, whether that's with your weight loss, your health, your business, whatever, that's when things start to move.

Yeah. And you know something? I just can't remember. That is, I just can't remember. I was on. I literally was scrolling through Facebook and saw your cute, bubbly little self. And I'm trying to remember for sure. What if there was something specific, you know, so we'll just. Obviously, that's okay.

No, no, keep going. This is good. I.

It's.

It's. It's real and it's honest. I'm just. If you don't even remember where you decided, that's fine, too. I just want people to know because there typically is a turning point with making a decision. So it may be for you, it was accumulation. Maybe it was like, you know, you were thinking about it and then you saw me or whatever it was helped you get there. But there was definitely a line in the sand somehow, because you became. You were a different person when you stepped in because you had made that decision.

Yeah, I think part of the decision, Part of what happened to make me decide. Both of our kids were heading off to university and thinking about the future and thinking about, you know, being embarrassed to be at their graduations or, you know, being embarrassed to go to their weddings or perhaps someday having grandchildren and not being able to keep up and have the energy to play with them. And where I was, I was definitely not going to be happy or I didn't have the energy to participate fully in life. And I think the turning point was when the kids moved and went to university. And I at that point, decided, hey, this is not the way I want to live. This is not how I want to feel about myself. Right. This is not. Not how I want the world to see me. And, you know, I want to be a productive member of society and. And go somewhere in life and feel healthy, happy and fit and participate.

So what I'm hearing from you, this is interesting. So it's not just that decision. It's truly what you learned in Fat Loss Academy and in Full Body Reset. It's that, like that driving core motivator, that reason why. So maybe your reason why was actually coming before the full decision. So that's why? Maybe it was easier for you to figure out that driving core motivator.

I think so. Yes.

So, so important. And I want you guys knowing this, that are listening. Trying another diet, trying another thing will never work unless you have fully decided and you know why you want it. And really going deep on the why. Like what you just shared, you wanted the energy. You didn't want to be embarrassed and moving away from that pain. Because that is a theme with people that have success with any goal is they definitively decide and they understand why they want that decision. So that's amazing.

Yeah, absolutely. I think in order, the reason I was successful is because I decided I was going to do it. And I decided that to commit to myself that I was worth it and to invest the time in myself into doing it.

So what did that look like, having that conversation with yourself and committing to do something? Because I'm assuming you had that voice in your head at some points pop up like, will this work? Like, I've done other things before. Like what? How did you handle that? Those self thoughts or that self doubt, if it came up ever?

Well, actually, when I first started Fat Loss Academy, I took the self doubt and I put it in a drawer and slammed the drawer and never looked back, literally. I decided it was going to work and I decided I was going to make it work forever and that this was my new forever lifestyle. No matter what, I just decided to do it and move forward and there was no looking back.

Okay. I love it. So, okay, now talk to us about progress then because now you're on this journey to this new person. So like, how long did it take? You're like, this was actually working, I'm shifting. And like, what was it that was shifting for you?

Interestingly enough, it didn't take long at all. I had results quite quickly and I think a lot of that was just the decision to do it and the mindset that I could do it. And also I feel that eating healthy and removing processed foods from my diet definitely helped with my mindset. So every day that I didn't eat processed foods and every day that I did exercise and all those things actually assist in changing your mindset and making your mind healthier as well?

Yes, they kind of. They go hand in hand. They go hand in hand. So did you, where would you say, like, did your daily habits start to change right away? Like take us through that process? Like, how did you. Because you literally became a new person. So did you have to start acting like that person you saw possible or was it one step at a time. Like, I'm curious how that worked with you.

Yes, I definitely changed my daily habits right away, and that was part of what I had decided to do. I had decided that if I continued on with the daily habits that I had at that time, then nothing was going to change and that in order to make the change, I had to change my daily habits. I literally took my old schedule and my old habits and refused to do them anymore and set myself a new schedule based on my new vision board and my new goals. And that's what I decided to do, and that's just what I did.

Gosh, I love that. And you're a total example of one thing that I share so many times with clients is focus on who you can become, like, who you're becoming and what you can add into your life versus on who you don't want to be anymore and what you can't have. Because when we focus on who we don't want to be anymore and what we can't have, that puts us down a spiral of, like, focusing on the wrong things instead. It's like focusing on your greatness and who you can step into and what I say is your authentic self. Because who I see now, this beautiful, fit person, is your authentic self. You just had gone a different direction for a while, but focusing on building that person and on what you can add into your life, I witnessed you doing that.

Absolutely. And interestingly enough, with your program, it actually led me right to that. And what it did was every day we added something into my life, and it didn't feel like I was missing or losing anything. What I was looking at was all of the great things I was adding in that would make me a better person moving forward for sure.

Yeah, I love that. Okay, talk to me about friends, family, support system. Like, what showed up there when you were changing? Because it was an obvious change. Like, you started looking different, you're glowing, you're talking different. So were people supportive? Did you have people not supportive? And how did you handle that?

Well, there's always naysayers. Definitely. My immediate family was absolutely supportive. They had seen with my back injury, the pain that I suffer every day. And I still do have pain. I still have bad days with the pain, but being fit and healthy definitely makes that more manageable. So my immediate family was absolutely 100% supportive. And actually, my kids and my husband even jumped on board, and they said, well, if you are cooking that food, then we will eat that food. So they were absolutely amazing. I think Having that support team around me definitely did make a difference. There were always those people that some people were like, oh, another diet fad. Or, oh, here you go again, like, yo, yo, yo, yo, dieting. And I truly just ignored those people and removed those comments from my mind because I think that people can drag you down and you just have to decide not to let them do that.

Yeah, that's really. I was wondering how you did that, because that is a real thing for people, especially if misery loves company. So if we're not feeling good about ourselves, we tend to attract more of that. So when we start growing and developing and changing and shifting out of that, that threatens people that were there with us, because now they're seeing themselves what they're not stepping into.

Absolutely. And that is so true. But also, on the other hand, there were those people where the misery loves company, and there was that sort of bit of jealousy and bit of, oh, this will never last. But then on the other hand, there were those friends who were like, well, if she could do it, I could do it. And they also jumped on board. And I was so excited and happy for that. To have my fitness buddies and my health buddies and all of my girlfriends that were like, yes, I'm going to do this with you. And for them to say thank you to me for helping them achieve what they're capable of. Yeah.

When you look back now at who you were, like, when you look at a picture of who you were and I picture you in the all black outfit sitting there, because I have that picture of you, what comes up for you when you see that person?

I am definitely so glad that I'm no longer there, and I'm grateful and thankful that I'm no longer there. But I also think that going through the trauma and of injuring myself and gaining the weight and being depressed and not being happy with myself and overcoming adversity definitely has made me a stronger person, made me more appreciative of where I am now. Probably made me a kinder, more grateful person. And it is part of the reason I am on this podcast today, because I just needed that help to move forward and be where I am now. So if I can do this and help one other person get their life back or move forward and feel great about themselves and do good things in the world, then that is awesome.

Yeah. I love that. When you see somebody now that reminds you of who you were, what thoughts go through your head.

I just want to help them. I just want to help them feel as great as I feel it would be amazing if everyone in the whole world could just be healthy and feel great about themselves. Yeah.

What would you tell someone that is there, that's listening and they're scared, they're maybe where you were. Like, they feel like they've tried everything. They've like, what would you tell them to start step wise? Like, what would they, if you were just to like give them like, okay, listen, I understand, I'm compassionate, I was there. Here's what I want you to know. What would you tell them?

Well, I would tell them that you're worth it. I would tell them that you can do it. I would tell them that a diet alone doesn't work. That it is a mindset, it is a lifestyle, it is your overall being, it is your overall daily schedule. And I would tell them that if you decide to do this, that you can do it and you are absolutely worth it and that you should do it for sure.

I love that. What tell us about you now. Like who are you now? Because you're a whole different person. Like how you're just glowing. Like how is your, what do you, how do you spend your time? What do you focus on? How do you feel about yourself?

Yeah, I feel great. I am, I am 50 years old this year and you look like you.

Are 20 by the way. You seriously aged in reverse for sure.

I'll be 51 in August and I definitely do not feel my age. I focus on moving every day. So my go to activity because of my back injury is actually Pilates. I love Pilates. Everything else I do is low impact. So I snowshoe, I bike, I hike. I did start skiing again this year. Downhill skiing. That was one of my goals, was to be able to get back on the ski hill. So I definitely move every day. I eat healthy now. I do. I am at my goal weight. I am happy with everything. So I do now if I want a treat on the weekend, if we are going out for lunch or whatever, then I just have it. But then right back on track that week and I think I just live a positive, more healthy, happier lifestyle.

Yeah, I love it. Now I have to ask the obvious. They can't see you right now, but I can see you and like your skin is glowing, your hair is all done, your dress can't like, you literally are not the person I met when I first met you. So talk to me about that because I tend to and I hate using this word, but I'm going to use it anyway because you described yourself as this before. But when I first met you, you would describe yourself as, like, frumpy and almost hiding. So what happens there? Because, like, I know what. What makes somebody. How does that change? Because I've seen some people in that spot that they still, you know, they do their hair, they put the makeup on, they try to step into that early. What take us through that evolution because you literally look like a different person. So when did that happen? And did you have to start doing that beforehand? Was that a result of feeling more confident? Tell me about that.

It was definitely a result of feeling more confident. So when we went through the vision board process, the things I put on the vision board were actually to wear makeup and to have a better hair, hairstyle, and to wear cuter clothes. So thank you for noticing. Those are actually things I have worked on. Those things came later for me. The thing that came first for me was actually the health and fitness. And once I felt fit and felt happy in my heart, then I started working on the per se, more superficial things like my hair, my makeup, my clothes. And those things had been on my vision board from the beginning, and because they were also things that I was unhappy with. However, I didn't have the energy or the drive to start working on the superficial items until I felt good about myself inside as far as my mindset and my health and my body. And then the sort of fingernails, hair, makeup, and clothes all came later. I love it. I've never been much of a shopper, but I've actually started shopping for clothes.

So what's funny to me is when I see some people in their unhealthy, not authentic self, like, who maybe you were, sometimes they'll judge people that are, like, put together with the makeup, and they'll be like, oh, that's so shallow, or whatever. I'm wondering, were you ever that person? Like, you would judge it and now you're into it, or were you always like, I like that. I want more of that?

Yeah, I was always envious. Obviously, anyone who looks amazing, I always think, wow, I'd like to be that person. I. I never put people down. If someone puts all that effort into themselves to look great and feel great, good for you. And I'm glad I'm that person now. But, yeah, I never was one to put people down, but I was definitely envious and wanted to be that person for sure.

Amazing. You know what's so interesting? So many people listening, I'm sure can relate to this. It's so interesting that people will get envious of others, but instead of Learning and emulating and learning, like, how to achieve maybe what they achieved. Sometimes people go into judgment and like, oh, I don't want that. That's not what I want. And then what I want people to realize is when you do that, you're pushing people away. You're pushing that goodness away. But if you come into it, like, with that open, curious mind, like Terri did with. I like that. I want to know more. I want to know how, like, how do you become that? Who do I need to be? Who do I need to hang around? What do I need to learn? What do I need to study? And that could be with really any goal. But the more we judge and say, I wouldn't want that anyway, or that's this, just know that we push that away when we judge like that.

Absolutely. I think that being honest is the most difficult thing. And even going back to the beginning, when I did feel frumpy and I was sad and I had no energy, the biggest hurdle to overcome was admitting that I had a problem and that the problem was mine. It's like, okay, you have a problem. The problem is yours. Take ownership of the problem and decide to do something about it and not begrudge other people that had already done something about it is to look up to them and level up to them and to decide to become like them.

I love that. I love that. And it's not about becoming like that. Like, I wouldn't describe, like, you're not like Natalie right now. You're the best version of Terri. Like you, I might have helped facilitate that, but you did the work. And you. This is you now. This is, to me, I look at you and I don't see someone that stepped into being a different person. You. You are. You just shed away everything that really wasn't Terri. And now you're really authentically Terri. This is the Terri that I always saw inside, and I'm just glad that she's back out.

So I agree. And it is about shedding. It's about getting rid of all of those things weighing you down. Like, I got rid of everything that weighed me down and prevented me from being the person I am now. And by letting go, I've really practiced, you know, letting things go. Like, if it doesn't serve my purpose, then let it go and move forward.

Yeah. That's so incredible. I love this. Okay. This is a question I ask everybody, Terri, so I'm going to ask you, too. If somebody is listening to this right now and they're in their own personal rock bottom so maybe it's where you were. They're the depressed, low energy, no focus, overweight. But maybe it's something totally different like they, maybe it's a financial hardship or a divorce or they've lost their business, whatever is their own personal rock bottom right now. Knowing what you know now, what are three things you would tell them so they can start leveling up and shifting and creating everything from nothing?

Three things.

Three things.

Okay. I would say admit that you have a problem and take ownership for the problem and stop blaming everyone else.

Oh, I love that.

I would say decide that you are worth it and find your tribe. Find a group of like minded people to help you move forward.

Oh, I love, love, love that. That's awesome. Who's your tribe now?

Almost everybody. I've surrounded myself with the most amazing people and anyone who is sort of a negative naysayer, I in a way distance myself from them. So my family is amazing. I have my Natalie Jill family tribe and interesting. We've all stuck together. Nicole is unbelievable. Her energy level is out of this world. Love her to pieces. And so I have all my fitness buddies from my pilates class and my hiking and biking buddies and so cool.

Because you would have said you didn't have that tribe before. So I love that. So you guys listening? You can create a tribe. So if you don't have it physically in person, that's when you can join groups, you can listen to podcasts, you can read books. Like you can invite that stuff in even if they're not physically there with you. So don't let I don't have physical people around me stop you from creating that tribe for you.

Absolutely. And one of the great things is when you join those groups, you're joining the group of like minded people so they are there doing the activity that you're doing so you instantly have a common interest and you can instantly start building your tribe from things that you participate in.

This was so informative today. Terri, thank you so much. I want to let you guys know that I'm going to in the show notes put exactly where you can find more information on what to Terri did with me. Whether you do a program with me or you do your own journey, I hope this information helped you today. I'm going to have a link in the show notes to Full Body Reset, which is the complete program that Terri did end up doing, which is the newer version of Fat Loss Academy that you started with. And also I'll put information on our free challenge that we're doing. So thank you Terri for being here. I appreciate it.

That's awesome. Thanks Natalie for having me.

Yeah, awesome. Thank you. Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found it helpful so others can join in. And don't forget to hit that subscribe so you don't miss out on future shows. And if you would leave me a five star review. I appreciate those so much. I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you information that you find valuable. And come interact with me over on Instagram at Natalie. You'll fit. I read all the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day. Creating everything from nothing.