115: How to Stop Self-Sabotaging

Welcome to Fit for your Mind Friday where I share an insight from me to you. Do you feel that you self sabotage? So I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day about her struggle with weight loss, health, confidence in her own skin. Now she feels she self sabotages. And she recognizes that she is privileged, meaning she, she has the time, the freedom, the money, the access to healthy foods, trainers, information, and pretty much anything she would need. So she has the privilege. But what was in her gap? Why did she continue to self sabotage? She asked me for feedback and I'm gonna share it with you because this is likely something that will help you in an area that you're self sabotaging. You see, we haven't all nailed life. In every area of our life, there's usually an area that we thrive in and an area that we struggle in. And sometimes within the struggle is the self sabotage. Now this friend of mine, she's successful in every area of her life, but she was failing in this one area, her personal health. So what was in her gap? Why was she so successful? Making money, in her career, in relationships, with friends, with every other aspect of her life. But this one area she kept self sabotaging. So we dug in and we figured out, and I hope this is going to support you too. So we figured out that she doesn't currently identify herself as a healthy, fit or slim person. And doing the little I am statements like I am healthy, I am fit, I am strong, that wasn't going to work for her because her brain was disagreeing. Can you relate to that? When we say I am, I am, I am, if our brain doesn't agree, it's not like we're really hearing it. So we did a little exercise. I asked her to describe her ideal person as someone outside of her. I had her describe her ideal person, not her as the ideal person. So she described her to a T with me. She described her as fit, strong, beautiful, healthy, thriving, moving free. She described her in vivid detail, the conclusion that we came up with there she gets to force that vision. So every day she'll ask herself before she self sabotages, before she makes those choices, what decisions and choices would that person make? What decisions and choices would that person make? You see, when we take it away from the I am and we create a vision of what it is that we want, it's a lot easier for our brains to connect those dots and look at it as what would they do? The second thing we realized is that it wasn't uncomfortable enough for her to change. You see, it was more uncomfortable for her to make changes in habits than to stay in the habits that were no longer serving her. For example, if she was out at a party, dressed in a fitted dress or nice jeans and very body aware, she would feel uncomfortable. So in those moments, she wanted to be thinner, she wanted to be stronger, she wanted to be healthier. But at home, in those comfy loose sweats on the couch, cozy, watching tv, she's not uncomfortable. It's not uncomfortable enough at that point. So at that point, the choice to get up and work out or eat healthy, that doesn't sound so appealing. That would sound uncomfortable. But we were sure that when she has in fitted jeans out in public, it's more uncomfortable to make not so healthy choices. So we discussed new habits that she can implement, like wearing fitted jeans at home to remind her to create discomfort. You see, if we don't create discomfort, we're not going to change. So deciding always comes first and then always creating a vision and then making the current comfort uncomfortable. And that's what we did. She decided she was done self sabotaging. She created a vision of what that person would look like, be like, feel like, think like. And then she decided to make current situations more uncomfortable. She decided to take this on and I hope that you will too. It.