120: How to be Authentically YOU with Jamie King

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback? On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. Jamie King. She caught my attention. Her bright purple hair, her many tattoos, her totally unique, expressive self. I wanted to know how does this girl who stands out so much not care what others think? How does she have so much confidence? I also wanted to know how does she create a seven figure coaching business so fast out of nowhere? Join in today and hear exactly how beauty school drop out, who was also a teenage mom and is now a busy mom of three, created everything from nothing. Today on Leveling Up. I'm so excited to talk with Jamie King. Really caught my attention on Instagram first with her big, bold purple hair and dark lips. I just love that. I love anyone that just stands out and is owning their personality. And I was curious about who she was and then I learned about her stories and I'm so excited to dive in today and share with, share with you all. So, Jamie, thank you so much for being here today with me.

Oh my God, thank you so, so much for having you. For having me. I was a huge fan of yours doing your fitness programs like five years ago to lose the baby weight. So to be here is totally full circle for me and it is an honor.

I love it, I love it, I love it. So take me back. Those of you listening right now, I'm going to take you back to when her journey first started. But what I want you to know now, before we even dive into that is right now, as you're listening to her right now today, at 33 years old, she is a seven figure earner, she's retired, her husband, she's a mom of, she's really accomplished quite a bit coming from a place where you wouldn't think that would happen. So I'm going to go back. So Jamie, take us back. You were 19 years old and you were pregnant. You found yourself pregnant. I'm assuming you didn't plan that.

No, it's. What are you talking about? It's every 19 year old's dream to get pregnant, right? No. God. I find my. I find myself pregnant and I have all these big goals, right? I'm going to move to California and be a hair and makeup artist. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do all these big things that you think going to be. And then, oops, time to get a real job and go to corporate world.

Yeah. So. So you're in the midst of moving to California and becoming a makeup artist and going. You were in beauty school at the time or you were not?

I had just dropped out. I had literally just dropped out because it hurt my back because I have scoliosis. So hurt my back to do hair. So I just dropped out. And like, now what am I going to do with my life? I was waiting tables and the whole, you know, like, bartender thing.

So you find out you're pregnant and what happens? Do you. Are you scared? Do you have people supporting you? What was going on through your mind?

I had a great support system, but the first thought in my head was something that rhymes with smash motion. But I was just like, scared. That's my initial thought. And thank God. So thankful for that support system that I had because I made the right decision for me and my family. And I decided to step up and become the mom that I always wanted. And I bought my first house when I turned 21. I was in an unhealthy relationship, so I stayed with that person for a couple of years because I thought it was the right thing to do. Right. You get right. That's what you do when you get pregnant.

Like, you're supposed to be the father of your baby.

Yeah. And we're no longer together. So I bought the house and I was like, okay, now we got to stop being a bartender. It's time to get a day job and do the corporate thing. Because there was nothing left for me and my ideas of what I had for my life. I was like, okay, this is the only way was to go get the 9 to 5. Even though my whole life I told my professor, my professor, my teacher in high school, I'm not going to college because there's nothing I would want to do to go to college for. I knew. And I was a straight A student, advanced placement. Like, I was very intelligent. I just didn't want to do that.

Yeah. So you drop out of beauty school, you're pregnant, and you move in with the your first baby's father.

Yeah.

And what do you decide is next on your list? Like, what. What do you start working on and doing?

So I decided to work my way up. I applied 17 times to this great company that's here in my City. I live in Louisville, Kentucky, and Humana is a major insurance company, and they're located here. I applied 17 times before I finally a job there.

Okay?

And then I worked my way up the corporate ladder, and I was the youngest leader, and I managed call centers of 500 people and 22 supervisors, two ops managers when I was 24. So I worked my way up that ladder. And then I got married and met my husband and had my son. And then that's when I fell into postpartum depression, anxiety fitness. That's when I found you and was really trying to get my, like, identity back, being a mom again. So that was the moment when I was like, I can't do this corporate job anymore, okay? And once I had dropped my baby off at daycare and I'm pumping my tits in an airport, and I'm like, this is not my life. This is not my life. How am I doing this? Because I traveled so much for that job. And so I was like, I'm not leaving my kid behind with strangers and traveling across the world to be with other people. I have to figure out something. And that's when I started online fitness coaching.

Okay, so talk us through the online fitness coaching, especially because I have a lot of people that follow and listen to my podcast that have an online business or that, especially in fitness, because that was where I started that they are following for fitness. So talk to us about that. What was that like? How did you get started and what happened with that?

Accidentally, I was, you know, like, stalking people like you on the Internet and trying to find a solution just to lose the baby weight. I was unhappy. I had gained 50 pounds with my son and I couldn't get the baby weight. I was like, oh, this is so. It was. I thought it was gonna fall off because, oh, when you're 20 and have a baby, it does fall off very quickly. But when you're 28 and have a baby, it does not fall off as quickly. And so I was, like, going through the postpartum hormones and depression and anxiety and then traveling for work and not eating healthy, and I was like, I have to. I saw this girl on the Internet, and I saw lots of girls on the Internet. I started following everyone on the gram and Facebook videos and doing workouts on YouTube, and I saw this girl doing Beachbody. I did network marketing, and so I followed her, and I was like, I have to figure out how to get out of this corporate life so I don't have to drop my baby off at daycare. And then Fly across the country. So that was when I started the fitness journey because I saw it as a means to leave my corporate job while also losing the weight because I had a long way to go on that side of things. But for me, I should be. If anyone follows me now knows I have a brand called Chardonnay and Slay. I should be no one's fitness coach. Mama likes her wine. I am not passionate about fitness. I was joining for an opportunity and I think that was the disconnect. Because for me, fitness was something. I grew up an athlete, I played sports. Sure, fitness was always a part of my life, but I hated it. Always. I was never into it. And so me trying to be someone's fitness coach is like someone who hates hair and makeup trying to be a beauty coach. Yeah.

It's interesting and I really, I was sparked an interest in what your story is because I think a lot of people do start careers or jump into a business because they hear that there's good money and they're like, I could do that versus it being their passion and where their calling is.

Yep. And that was where it was out of alignment for me. And so I got, I. I always tell people, you can force and hustle your way to a certain point and then you can't fake it anymore. People will know. People knew that I was the girl probably spraying water on my face saying sweaty selfie. Look, I just did my work.

So you were forcing and hustling it. So was it one of those things where you knew you had a post you knew you had to write, but you just weren't feeling it? What was, what would happen?

Well, it's like I was not working out for the joy or love of working out or for the journey of working out or for my own self care. I was working out because it felt like I had to because of a job. I was never into that side of things. I was only into it because I thought I could leave my corporate job and make money doing this. I saw it as an opportunity. So when you follow an opportunity, you will burn out very quickly. And I burn out very quickly in that. And I did that for three years. But I burn out so quickly because I wasn't passionate about the fitness. I was always an entrepreneur. I had four or five businesses before that. I sold vintage clothes, I did paleo baking. I did all the things just trying to find something. Just trying to find something. So this was just another thing, another stepping stone. And I think a lot of us have to try things to really know like, what is our passion? Because if we're forcing, following an opportunity or following the money, yes, you might make a quick buck and you might make money, but that's not sustainable long term.

Totally. So when was that moment, like, what happened that made you aware that, okay, this isn't working, this isn't my passion? And then how did you figure out what your passion was?

So I've always so in. When I managed a call center, I was in leadership development. So I really taught supervisors how to be leaders, and I taught their associates how to be better service representatives. And so I was in so much public speaking what I was doing, and really I realized that I had coached basketball before. I had coached volleyball, and now I was coaching leaders on how to be leaders. And I was like, wait, I am really good at this coaching thing and uncovering where their blocks are and diving deeper into what they actually want and helping them become the person they want to become. So I had been in this coaching world, and then I got into the fitness coaching and found out that I was able to build business leaders within an organization. But my own fitness journey wasn't that great because I wasn't super excited about it. So I was like, there's a common denominator here. But the rock bottom moment was when had our last baby. We have three kids. Audrey Jo, she is now two and a half. I started this business when she was about 6 months old, and she got diagnosed at 4 months old with infantile scoliosis, the bad kind. Progressive infantile scoliosis, meaning we had. As soon as she got diagnosed, we scheduled her first outpatient surgery, like a casting procedure at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. We had to drive to a specialist because no one in our state even worked on infantile scoliosis. There was not even a specialist here. So we drove to Cincinnati to seek treatment, and she had a 1.8% chance of correcting on her own without surgical treatment. And so we got this huge diagnosis, and immediately a doctor was like, we need to do mri, see if she has kidneys, see if there's, you know, a genetic. Genetic birth defect, all these things. And I was like, oh, my God. What? I was enjoying my four month old.

Yeah.

What do you mean? Now I have to spend hospital, like, time in hospitals and surgeries and castings, and she's not gonna be able to take baths. And, you know, this was not my life. And so the real rock bottom was when my original first fitness mentor, Nikki Whiting, she started a GoFundMe page for us. And I was like, is this my life? I can't afford to pay my medical bills for my daughter because we had a high deductible health plan. And it was gonna be about 12 grand back to back within a. Because it was like, where the calendar on the deduction, it was gonna be like November and then January. So 12 grand within two months. So I was like, oh, my God, we can't pay our medical bills. This is not my life. This is not what I hear.

You had a business, like, you're doing the right things, you're thinking this stuff, and now you've got somebody setting up a GoFundMe with me. So what was. What made you not go into victim mode with that? Because that's the thing. A lot of people will have things happen to them, and then they. They shut down with like, okay, well, this happened to me. So here I am. I'm going to go on unemployment. I'm going to accept a GoFundMe, and I'm going to. What made you not go there and go to like, figuring out your calling?

I think every story that. I think that one of the most. The quotes that helped me the most not even know where this came from. I won't quote it as myself, but it's really good. It's rock bottom is the solid foundation for which greatness is built on. And I remember having like, tears sitting in the parking garage with my husband. And my husband does not cry. Maybe five times I've ever seen my husband cry. And where leaving the doctor's office after this dramatic diagnosis and just holding each other and just hysterically crying and thinking, how are we going to afford this? How are we going to help her? This is not our life. And I was making decent money. I was making two or three thousand dollars a month as a fitness coach and outwardly looked successful, you know, as a brand. But I was like, oh my God, this is not our life anymore. I have to do the thing I've been wanting to do. So I had actually taken a course a year prior. I don't know if you've ever bought an online course or maybe some of your listeners have maybe bought an online fitness program or committed to something and then not done it. Of course, I had bought a course on how to become a coach, an online coach, and start my own coaching business. So I had bought a course like a year and a half prior to that. And guess what? It sat in the closet. Metaphorically, it sat in my digital closet and collected dust. And I never did anything with it. And I was too scared. I had the imposter syndrome. Like, well, who's gonna take me seriously? Or who's gonna buy whatever I have to offer? And so, too afraid to do it. Then I had this moment, and I said, oh, my God, I will not be broke anymore. I will not sit back and choose my daughter's medical care based on what we can afford, not based on what she deserves. Because we were looking at doctors. We were gonna go to a charity hospital, and we did. We ended up going to a charity hospital over the. Thankfully, it ended up working out for the best, but we ended up having to switch her care based on what we could afford. I was like, no, I decided. And I know people say that, oh, it was a decision. I decided. It is that simple and that complicated at the same time. Yeah, it is complicated. Okay, that's cute. I decided. I literally sat down with my husband. This is what I'm going to do. I'm not going to be this person anymore. I'm done. And I went all in.

All in, all important, because deciding always comes first. And I think every single person I've interviewed, they said it started with a decision. They made that decision. So you drew a line in the sand. You decided, and then. So then what comes up next? Because here you have this fitness business, and I'm assuming especially with what you were doing with the fitness business with other coaches, they were. You had this Persona of being successful. So how do you explain I'm out of this, and I'm going into something else. How did you. How did you get to that point?

That's when I created the slay coach. So I created my alter ego. I was not brave enough yet to stand on my own as this blonde fitness coach. Now transitioning to business coach. I wanted my audience to see a clear distinction that I am no longer that person anymore.

Oh, I love that. Okay, so explain what that means, because I know what alter ego means. A lot of people don't. Can you go a little deeper into that? And you guys can't see her right now, but I'm looking at her, literally. She has purple hair and purple lips and tattoos, and she's saying that she was blonde hair. I haven't seen that picture yet before. So tell me more about this, because this is so cool. And tell me, like, how did you get to this about what an alter ego is? How did you get the idea to create that, and how did that work for you?

So I knew that if I wanted to be truly me, I couldn't copy and paste trying to be like everyone else on the Internet anymore. I was trying to be like my mentor. I was trying to look like her. I was trying to drop dress like her. I was trying.

A lot of people do that.

Yeah. I was trying to like, okay, I need to have the house and I need to look like this. And this is what success looks like. I said, no, if I'm gonna be really, really successful, I have to be so different and I have to be 100% me. So I asked myself, okay, who is me? I started having a conversation, who am I? And this was actually my favorite topic to talk about because I didn't mean to talk about this today, but this was what I talked about at my event last two weeks ago. And this was my whole presentation because I'm so passionate about it. I went back to who I was at five years old. I love this because you have a middle schooler, I'm assuming Middle school, right? Yeah. I have a seventh grader too, and I feel like sixth, seventh, eighth grade is when they start to learn that people judge them. Yeah, when you're two. My two year old does not know judgment. She. I have an Instagram story of her the other day saying, get out of here, haters. Like, she doesn't know that people are like, looking at her or that people are judging her shoes or that people are judging her outfit. She doesn't know judgment. And so sometime around the age of 10, middle school, we start to understand that people's opinions are being projected onto us.

Yep, you're speaking my language right now. I talk about this a lot with my aging in reverse community, about judgment, people pleasing, all this stuff showing up as, you know, middle school and high school and that forming and shaping us where authentically as kids we are expressive and we're not worried about judgment. We don't care. We're very present. We're very aware of who we want to. How we want to express ourselves. So you. I love that you did that. So you thought back, did somebody teach you that? Did you read that somewhere? Like, did you go to like a, a shaman? Like, what happened that got you to.

I probably heard a podcast, it might have even been a Chalene Johnson podcast years ago that just said being your most authentic self is the way to make it okay. It wasn't no particular thing, no particular training directed me towards that or no particular teaching, but lots of layers of education or inspiration over years was like, okay. I knew I had to be me. Yeah. I had to find who that really was. So I was like, if I were creating who I always wanted to be, if I really didn't give a crap when anyone thought about me, and sorry if I cuss you guys, bleep it.

Out like a sailor.

But if I were really to be truly authentically me, who was that and what did that look like? So if anyone that's listening is an 80s baby, you might remember Jem and the Holograms. Jem was my hero growing up. I wanted to be Jem my entire life. I was like, I'm going to be a pink, purple haired rock star. Jem and the Holograms. I'm going to grow up and be just like her. So when I was little, I always wanted purple hair. And my mom's like, well, you can't dye your hair purple. Yeah, you know what? I'm going to do that thing. I'm going to color my hair purple. And I had dabbled with like tips or ends of colors. I'd never gone full on purple. So when I created this alter ego, my audience had to know that I'm no longer available for fitness coaching. Here's where I'm going to help you build your empire. Wow. I went all in.

I have so many questions, Jamie, because I love, I love, love, love this so much. I want to like, shout out from the rooftops because. But it's so rare. So how do you, you advise, like, for the person listening that maybe doesn't want to dye their hair purple?

Do you have.

What would you tell them? Like, what are those first steps of figuring this out? Because even you that were clear that when I was little, I wanted my hair to be purple, like, it's still. You probably had those judgment fears come up, like, what is. What are my kids going to say? What are my family going to say? What are people online going to say? Like, how did you combat that voice and just go for it.

So I did hire a mindset coach that I was working with initially when I was building this brand and I was like, even if you look at my first pictures, it was all purple, but it was light purple.

Okay.

So if you're creating your alter ego, you are baby stepping into her little by little. So I want you to dedicate five minutes a day that you can become her. So five minutes a day that you can act as if. Because as kids, they play pretend, they play house to learn how to be adults. They act as if they are playing alter ego game every single day. So if you can dedicate five minutes a day in the beginning, then 10 minutes, then an hour, then. Oh. Every time I go to a networking event, I'm acting as if I'm this person. That's so cool. Yeah.

Because why do we, like, why do we stop? Like we were five, you're dressing up as princesses and we think that's normal. We go to Target like that. Like, why does that stop?

Why does that stop? And that's my favorite thing about this hair, Natalie, is when I go to Target, Kroger, Trader Joe's, whatever, and little girls, the way they look at me. The way they look at me is how we all should feel all the time.

So cool. Okay, so people that do. Because people are going to judge no matter what we know that they're going to judge. Whether your pairs purple or it's not purple. What do you say to the person listening that is a judger. What would you say to them when you.

This is a quote from Gabby Bernstein. When you are judging someone, you're revealing a part of yourself that you need to heal and work on you every time you are triggered or when someone is doing something that either makes you mad or angers you, or you're like, I'm not here for that. That's not okay. Look deep down and ask yourself, what about me is pulling this emotion out? Where do I. Yeah.

So did you, after you did it, did you feel free? What was the feeling after that when you kind of started stepping into this alter ego?

I was pretty nervous. It wasn't, it wasn't just. It was the whole way I wore I dress. I cleaned out my entire closet.

Okay.

I decided to create a wardrobe to what I went from just, you know, fitness casual, like cute little blonde, you know, half edgy blonde girl to like full edgy biker boots. I mean, I'm not like a biker girl at all. I'm super girly, but wearing whatever I want. Glitter, sequins, everything loud. Everything I do now is loud. But it didn't have. It was probably like a six month loudness gradually getting.

And I'm assuming like you kind of stepped into this alter ego, but you didn't know. You didn't have a vision for the business yet. You just knew you were stepping into who you really wanted to be. Is that correct?

Right? Correct. And I just thought if I'm gonna teach people how to go big, I have to go big myself. I have to be an integrity.

Yeah.

So you stepped.

So you stepped in and so cool. And then how did this new. Because now you have a seven figure business that you didn't expect at that time, you were trying to solve an initial problem, and you really wanted to be your authentic self. How did that go? Because you find this program, you start stepping into yourself. Take us through the steps. Like, what happens next?

What happens next is I was looking for mentors, online courses, whatever. I was like, education. I want to soak it all up. I was looking for mentors, and. And someone told me no. And that was the most powerful thing that anyone could have ever told me. Someone was like, no, you're not ready. You can't do that. I hired. I interviewed a coach, and she, you know, I was looking to hire someone. She was like, you're not ready. You can't do that. I won't work with you if you want to do that. You're not ready yet. You don't make enough money yet. And I was like, whoa, don't believe me? Just watch. Came in. Yeah. And that was really. So I had a little bit of a chip on my shoulder. So I want you to look at anyone that's ever told, you know, you can't do that. You can either let that know break you, or it can make you. You can take that as fuel to the fire. Okay. Don't believe me? Watch prove you wrong. Yeah.

So then when did you decide what you were going to build for the coaching business?

So for me, I knew I wanted to work with what I call baby grapes. Early on, I wanted to help them start. Some of my earliest clients were wedding planners and bakers and event coordinators and beauty artists, makeup artists. Like, I started all the gamut. So I started wanting to just bring women together, all entrepreneurs. So I started a networking event for female entrepreneurs called Chardonnay and Slay. It's a nonprofit, and we bring together women of all different backgrounds because I would see, like, professional networking or young professional networking or fitness networking or this networking. But there was no space that brought together baby grapes because they don't feel welcome. They feel like, oh, I don't have a business. I can't go to a business.

The way that you felt when the coach said no to you.

Yeah. I felt like, okay, no one took me seriously as a fitness coach, so why would I go to a networking event? I didn't feel welcome. So I created a space that was welcoming to people of all stages of business. So we invited specifically women that had no business or just an idea or just a hobby and put them in a room with successful business owners and say, look, they're just like you. Yeah, that's really how the momentum started for the slay brands was creative, attainable solopreneurship, bringing women together of all different backgrounds, of all different levels and experience levels to sit at the same table.

So what I hear when you start talking about this versus like when you were in your initial business is that purpose and passion behind it. And I think that's really critical and I'd love for you to speak a little bit more onto that because I think when people say that they're bored or they're tired or they don't have ideas for their content, I think what's really going on is you're not in the right place. You're not. Because when you are in a purpose driven career, you're following your vision and you're authentically being you. I think things just come to you and I just love to get your take on that.

Yeah. So when you're following, I ask you to go back and look at what have you always enjoyed and do you think it's, are you not following your passion because you don't believe it's possible? So the majority of women that I feel like, well, I always loved this when I was a teenager or I always loved this or I always thought I would do this one day and I say, well, why aren't you doing it? Like, oh, well, there's no money in that. I'm like, says who? If you're really all in, like, really all in, like purpose, passion, excitement, your energy, belief and excitement and value that you're bringing to the table is what will make you money. It's not that. Oh, this industry doesn't work. Like you said, like, we're talking about fitness and fitness coaches. If you are 100% in integrity with that as being your passion, it will work if you are consistent.

Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that. So how do. I'm curious how you talk to your kids about their passion and vision now because you've got a mom like fully living, expressive in like her avatar, basically. What's the conversation you have with your kids around that?

This is great because my daughter's the same age as your daughter. So we're in the stage of where she's starting to want to be active in my company. She wants, she's starting to do graphic design for me. And so we're giving her little things like putting her into different creative things to help her find what it is that she actually likes. So we're giving her a little taste of everything that we do right now to figure out what is going to be her passion, what is going to be her niche? And then I think the best thing you can do for your kids is throw them into everything and see what sticks.

So if somebody starts working with you now, I'm just curious how that. And they're. Maybe they're stuck in that fitness business or whatever else it is that they're not feeling this. What's the process you take them through? Like, how do you start them down this road to figure out who they are and who that avatar for them is? Because I love, by the way. It's like, it's almost like some people would say it's a costume, but it's really, you're just stepping into you, you're just expressing who you actually are by how you look. And I have so much admiration for people that do that because I think most people don't do that because they're hiding and they're scared to because that whole idea of I have to look normal and be acceptable, that's the whole problem. Like, we all should look like, you know, who we authentically are. So how do you speak to people and get them into that? Like, I'm sure not all of them, all your clients are dyeing their hair, but like, what are some things that you have them doing? So, like somebody listening could start taking on to figure out who they authentically are.

Yeah. So really start to take a deep dive inventory on what lights you up and what makes you happy and what drains you energetically. So for me, taking an inventory of am I surrounding myself with the people that are going to move my dream and vision and passion forward in life, or am I surrounding with people that are detracting from my energy? So baby grapes, we take them. Like, I have courses and programs and all different things that we take them through to actually develop them. But the podcast and the freebies, I create a ton of free value around building your brand, building your alter ego, stepping into the person you are meant to be. Because it's really easy for someone that will just say, well, act as if. But it's not that simple. Act as if you're a seven figure business owner right now. Like, okay, that's fine, crazy lady, but.

I love what you're saying because that's not what that actually means. Act as if does not mean act like you already have millions of dollars if you don't.

It's little by little taking baby steps and being intentional every single day with becoming that next level version of yourself. And that doesn't mean if you're on a fitness journey. That doesn't mean that you're going to go all out on this crazy extreme tomorrow and you're going to cut out all carbs and you're going to go to the gym six days a week and you're going to work out for an hour a day. And no, we're stepping into little by little making a promise to ourselves to become a better version every single day and taking an inventory every night before you go to bed. Did I live up to my own expectations today? Not the world's, but my own.

I love that. I love that. That's so important. So how you built your seven figure business very quickly after you sort of stepped into this role, can you walk us through that? And I'm assuming you didn't expect that to happen.

No, I didn't expect it to happen. And then little things started to happen very quickly. And so my private client, you know, private coaching, sold out very quickly. And I was like, okay, well now I have people on a wait list. Now how can I help them? And then I expanded into, okay, well if I have a wait list, I'll do a group coaching program. Okay, well then I have a wait list for that. Okay, now I'll do a course. So it wasn't just overnight. I like had a whole product suite of six different offers I created one at a time. And so I just, here's a fun fact of why I was able to build this thing so quick. I won't say quicker than everyone or quicker than other people in the industry, but like why I was able to do it so quickly. I dedicated to ridiculous. Like if anyone knows who Gary Vee is, like Gary V. Old school content and value overhaul. For the whole first year I was like, I'm not backing down, I'm doing whatever it takes. And I created over 200 opt ins and freebies. Oh my gosh. In a year.

Okay, that's a lot. How did you, how did you find your first clients?

My first clients came from just a general first coming out announcement when I posted the purple hair picture.

Yes, I'm sure. Like, like what's going on? What got into you? Yeah, what is unfollow too? And you just let go.

I lost so many people, like so many followers. And that's the scariest thing. When you pivot, you're like totally. Oh my God. But if you focus on what you're going to gain, not what you're going to lose, you'll always stay motivated.

I love that. Yeah, it's funny. I just. I got my first tattoo. I don't have quite as many as you. I had my first one and I posted it and it was just funny. Like some of the people that wrote unfollowing, and it's like, okay, oh, my.

God, I saw that. I mean, I didn't see anyone say that. I saw your tattoo and I was.

Like, yes, but I didn't care. I mean, that's part of why I got the tattoo is what you're saying, like, you do things for you and the right people are attracted to you then for that. Because that's. Because the thing I think what goes on too is people that are not authentically them, they're trying to be someone else. They are so affected by haters and negativity because they're being called forth for not being who they are. You know, it's like you're trying to be this image and people think, tell you you're not, and then you get it triggered by it. But I think when you're authentically you and you're really being you, it stops triggering you as much because it's like, but I'm being me.

Yeah. And so funny that I have because I had so many. Because this is such a huge problem in the beginning stages of your business, worrying about other people's opinions and worrying about the haters and worrying about what happens when you pivot is that I actually created a mug in my online shop because people kept asking for this so much. It says, haters pay my bills. So if you can look at it from this perspective of that hater is now bumping that post in the algorithm for you. So we need more haters to like our stuff. So if you can shift the perspective to haters. Don't bring me down. Haters. Bump your posts in the algorithm, girlfriend.

That's amazing. I love that.

So bring them on.

So, Jamie, do you ever have days of, like, going like, this has become your new norm. But have you ever had days of like, oh, I just kind of want to blend again? Or tell. Tell me about that. I'm going to your kids school meeting. Do you ever think, like, I should blend again?

I always have. So here's the thing about, like, thought control and being able to be the leader of your own mind. Those thoughts never stop happening. The thoughts of, like, oh, my God, what is everyone going to think of? The PCA meeting of crazy mom or my God, like, I walked into. Here's a really good example. I walked into for the. For the summit of slay event that I had. We were looking at venues, and I walked into the most bougie hotel hotel in. And I was meeting with their event planner. And I wore leggings and, like, a sweatshirt, and it was cold outside, and I rolled out of bed and I didn't do my hair and makeup. And he was like. And I was like, well, I need to see the space before I tell you what I need. And he was like, no, I'll tell you what you need, and then you can see the space. Wow. That he treated me, which I didn't expect because I walk in like, I treat everyone the same. And I was like, look, Richard, I was like, I have $150,000 budget. Do you want our business or not? And he was like, oh, he had this projection, right? Like what I'm telling you, regardless of how you look, your energy introduces you before you walk in a room. So if you feel good in yoga pants with messy hair and your hair not done walking into a PTA meeting, how you carry your body, your body language, and your energy introduces you, not your sweatpants. Yeah.

I love it. Oh, my gosh, this is so good. Jamie, you're such a unicorn. I think it's incredible. And I see why clients are drawn to you because you are not just talking the talk. You're walking the walk. And I think it's super cool. There's a question I ask everybody, and I'm curious how you would answer this. So if somebody is listening right now and they're their own personal rock bottom, maybe their child has a diagnosis like you you had, or it's their financial rock bottom. It's a health scare. Whatever it is, it could be a combination of much things. They're in their own personal rock bottom and they're scared like you were before you decided and you were to give them some advice on what they could do to start shifting their mindset and creating everything from nothing, what would you tell them?

Step one, Understanding that vulnerability is strength. Being able to ask for help is actually not a weakness. That is actually the signal of empowerment. So if I look at someone hitting their rock bottom and they're sitting there and they're alone and they're not telling everyone, that's not strength. That's weakness. Because they're afraid of what people will think of them. Strength is being able to be vulnerable. So start small. Start where you are. Expect little changes overnight. It's not going to happen. Consistency is the name of the game of changing or up leveling up, leveling your life in anything that you do. Get a list of personal development books. I always keep audible on at all times. Get a mentor, whether that be an accountability buddy, someone that's on a personal development journey that just up leveling any area of their life, that's their fitness journey or their business journey or whatever. Find an accountability buddy and invest in yourself. Time, energy, money. Invest in what's going to move you forward, not just investing in what's going to keep you safe and stuck where you are.

I love that. I love that. What's next for you?

Oh, my God, this is so exciting. So right now we're actually playing. I feel like I'm a crazy person for doing this again. I just got off the tails of Summit of Slay 2019. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but that is number one. The thing that has made me grow so quickly is I leap into hard. If I see something hard and it scares the crap out of me, that means I need to go do it if I want to get to that next level. So if I look at something and I'm perceiving it as hard, oh my God, I need to go do it. So we're Summit of Slay 2020. We just love what is Summit of Slay.

What's your vision with that?

So Summit of Slay is a female entrepreneurial summit, but also women's empowerment weekend. So we have drag queens, we have tattoos, we have glitter, we have a party, we have a spiritual medium, and we also have personal development seminars during the day. And it was an amazing transformative experience and I can't wait to do it again.

Oh, I love that. I love that. Where can people find you, Jamie?

You can find me@the SlayCoach.com or Chardonnay and Slay, your business podcast or the Slay Coach on Instagram. And you guys, I just joined TikTok. That helps.

I keep hearing about it. It must be a sign that we're supposed to be on TikTok.

Well, I'm. I feel older.

My daughter's obsessed with it. Same.

She made me do it. My 12 year old made me do.

It, but I wouldn't even know what I'm doing on it.

Still don't know what I'm doing. Total loss. But being willing to be a newbie and being willing to look silly.

Thanks, Jamie. That's awesome. Thank you so much. Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found it helpful so others can join in and don't forget to hit that subscribe so you don't miss out on future shows. And if you would leave me a five star review. I appreciate those so much. I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you information that you find valuable. And come interact with me over on Instagram @nataliejofit. I read all the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day. Creating everything from nothing.