132: Healing from Addiction with Courtney Andersen

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback? On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst, learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. Courtney Anderson had a drinking problem, quite a big one. She would start drinking and then she'd black out, waking up in strangers, beds, hospitals, fights, even in jail. But she couldn't stop. Her addiction to alcohol took precedence over Living. On August 18, 2012, she decided to stop the madness. Today on Leveling up with Courtney, we are having an important conversation talking about what causes addiction, the cycle of it, how to talk to loved ones battling it, and how to put an end to it. Join in today and learn exactly how Courtney Anderson leveled up and now helps other women heal from addiction. Today on Leveling Up, I'm so excited to talk to Courtney Anderson. And what got my attention with Courtney Anderson is she's a sober. Now, I've met a lot of people that were counselors or help people through addiction, but she calls herself a sober coach and she happens to bartend on the side. And I thought that was an interesting combination. But I really wanted to dive in with her about addiction, what causes it, what she walked through, how she figured it out, and then how she's turned her pain into purpose now. So thank you so much for being here today, Courtney. I'm excited to chat with you.

Thank you so much. I'm so honored to be here. A little nervous, but I'm excited.

Ah, no. No reason to be nervous. No reason to be nervous. So take us back. I mean, I'm assuming you.

You didn't.

You weren't born addicted. You. You weren't a child addicted to something. Take us back. Like, what happened? What caused you to dive? Go down that road and tell me when you realized you were actually in it.

Okay, so I have to start by saying this. I do think that addiction is 50, 50% genetics and 50% a learned behavior. So I do want to put that out there to anybody listening, going back to the child that I was, I was shy. I was the baby of the family. So I kind of felt. I mean, I think a lot of people think the babies of the families get everything they want, which they do. But I also think there's a Lot of kind of neglect too. I was the youngest out of four. Yeah, my parents divorced when I was seven years old. There was a lot of traumatic, traumatic things happening in my childhood as I got older. In my teens, I will say that I stayed away from alcohol, but I did smoke pot, I did ecstasy, did mushrooms, and I stayed away from alcohol because alcoholism ran in my family. Alcoholism and mental health.

Okay, so we back up for one minute because I got a lot of people listening that don't have never touched pot. I've never touched, don't even know what mushrooms or ecstasy or any of those things are. So that's not right in itself. Normal right away, like being, saying I was younger and I tried those things. So how did that. So you said you stayed away from alcohol, but where was that other stuff playing a role? And did you think that was normal to do?

Well, you know, I definitely, it was in high school. I do think that marijuana gets introduced in some point. You know, drugs and alcohol get introduced in high school. It happens. Now it's young as in middle school, which is terrifying, you know, but so, yeah, so in, in high school I just, I started smoking pot with my friends. I again, I had three older siblings. They, they smoked pot, they were into.

A party scene, thought it was normal. Like it's just, it's part of the thing.

Yeah, I thought it was normal. You know, started smoking cigarettes at like 16.

Did your parents know this and did they say anything about it? What was their take on it?

They knew, but I did. But they didn't say anything. I mean, once it was the fourth child, you, you know, my, my oldest two siblings, I don't want to say were like the black sheeps of the family, but they were, they got in trouble with everything. And then there was me and my brother who just kind of like skated by, you know, like we were at the level of my two oldest siblings. But, and when I say that, like getting into trouble, how they used to get into trouble, totally. I kind of think by the fourth kid and just the circumstances of my family at that point, my mom was a single mom working 16 hour days at home, so her attention was not towards the kids. And again, my parents divorced at seven, so I only went to the, to my dad's house on the weekends.

So it's not that your mom didn't necessarily know or care, but she may not, she may have just been too busy. She was so wrapped up trying to take care of you as a single mom. She's working that it's like it may have gone unnoticed.

Yeah, I think unnoticed and just too. At that point. I mean, my mom did the best that she could, but then she had her. Her own stuff. She had her own stuff.

And the reason I'm asking some of these questions, Courtney, and is because, depending on who's listening, somebody this might be is going to resonate with them, with their. Somebody that's. We're going to. When we get into addiction, that they're struggling with, but it also might be that they're kids and they're not aware. So that's why I'm asking a lot of these questions. So. So. So the pot seems somewhat normal. All your friends are doing it, doing cigarettes. Your mom's not really aware. You think it's normal. And then some of the harder stuff, like the mushrooms and the ecstasy, that. That's not. That's not necessarily normal. I know that that's available in high school, but was that just, like, what made you okay to try that? Were you scared and talk to me about that a little bit?

Uh, I wasn't scared. I was not scared so much. The ecstasy, too, that was. I think that was about when I got into my senior year of high school. Um, I graduated in 2000. So I'm just trying to set up the timeline for your listeners of, like, from, I don't know, 95 to probably 2005, there was a huge boom in the rave scene, underground raves in that. And then ecstasy started coming on the rise in the suburban neighborhood. So I definitely started, you know, experimented with that my senior year of high school. And again, it was. It was. My friends were doing it. I was gonna partake as well. And I think I was already open to the idea. And I'm not. I'm not saying that marijuana is a gateway drug. I don't believe that. I do believe trauma is the gateway to it all. But I was also already open. I already opened myself to experiencing and experiment and experimenting with drugs. I was open to that.

Got it. Okay. So you do these things. And it's funny because I think back when I was in high school, I too, marijuana was really heavy. But like, some of the. I never did the other stuff because I was always scared or I was. I see the commercials on TV about what they do to our brains or whatever. So I feel like everyone has a different experience around that. So you did that stuff, but you weren't touching alcohol?

No, I wasn't touching alcohol because alcoholism runs in my family. So that was something that was always ingrained into My head that just, like, I didn't want to risk becoming an alcoholic in the damage that it had done on my family and the dynamics of it in my family unit. I just was so against it.

Okay.

So, I mean, I drank a couple times, but not to the extent of what it turned into, because, again, you're in high school. You know, I remember one time drinking.

Beer at a party.

Exactly. And the first time that I did that, I got so sick, and I think I had, like, four or five Bud Lights and, like, just chug them. And I got so sick at this party. So it wasn't really like, oh, this is a good time.

Got it. Okay. So you mentioned something a minute ago. You said that you don't believe that marijuana is the gateway drug, but you believe trauma is. So before we get into, like, where you went with the alcohol addiction, did you had. Did you have trauma?

I did have trauma in my life. And trauma looks. Trauma looks different for everybody. Again, my parents divorced when I was 7. We had a babysitter who committed suicide in our kitchen.

What? Wait, back up. Like, she's babysitting you and does this. She.

My mom. After my parents got a divorce, my mom was out of town with her boyfriend. We had animals, but this lady watched us. She was our babysitter for a long time. Friend of the family we went to. Me and my siblings went to stay at my dad's house for the weekend. And then she came that weekend to watch the animals.

Okay.

And that weekend she committed suicide in our house.

So your mom comes home and finds us.

Her. The babysitter's fiance and sister found her. My mom. The cops brought my mom into the scene, and this is where stuff started to change for my family. With my family, with my mom. My mom had a breakdown. Because no one should say that.

Yes. That's a horrible thing to witness. Yes.

Right. So this was back in 93. 93. So they brought her into the house because they thought it was a murder. They didn't think it was a suicide because it was that gruesome.

Yeah.

So they had to bring my mom in since she was the owner of the house. And that caused a breakdown for my mom. Go into the hospital. So then starts in with a lot of mental health issues with my mom. And, you know. Yeah.

So here your mom's a single mom. She's working her butt off. She's got kids, and then she has this happen. And I'm sure the police are questioning her, so she's not. She's innocent. But that's going to create stress. So she's got a breakdown. So now your mom, now how old are you at this time?

Let's see. Third. Four. So I was eight, Nine.

Wow. Very young. So. Yes, definitely traumatizing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, you know, even being seven when my parents divorced, I mean, that's young. So. And just being exposed to such topics as alcoholism and you know, knowing what bipolar is back then and what Prozac is when you're, you're eight and having someone commit suicide in your house, so that really starts the trauma and then it goes. And then we had to live with my dad for a couple months because my mom was in the hospital and that was living in a two bedroom apartment and, you know, my dad having to play the mom and the dad and then visiting my mom in a, you know, psychiatric hospital during that time.

Got it. Okay. Okay, so take us through what happens. What's next?

So, so as I, you know, as my life progresses and in my teens and my mom just doing, working, doing the best that she can also too, with spouts of bipolar, having a father who is a functioning alcoholic, it's just, you just get lost in the shuffle. You know what I mean? Like, it's not like parents aren't present. There's no Sunday dinners. There's no, there's no warm and fuzzy feelings.

You're going through your own trauma with stuff and there's not really the love and the unconditional safety that you need.

Yes. And two, when you have parents who are not present like that, you are not getting what you just said. Those emotional needs met.

Yes, yes. And emotional wounds cause a lot.

Right. You know, and no matter what anybody's situation is, whether you're privileged, we were, you know, I was a white middle class family and I was, I've been blessed in my life, but that doesn't mean that that's okay for the emotional needs not being met.

Right.

You know what I mean? So it's just like everyone's situation is different and this is where addiction does not discriminate. So. So I just wasn't receiving that love. I, that's where I became very close with my grandmother.

Okay.

And she met those needs for me. But it's still. There was just no structure in the home. And, and by the time you still.

In the home that this happened, the trauma had happened in.

No, no, no. We. We sold that house. Yeah, so we sold that house. But so, and then it's just, just a lot of dysfunction after that. That's all I Can really say it's just like a lot of dysfunction for anybody who is listening who has dealt with parents who are either bipolar or a functioning alcoholic. You know what I'm talking about, where it's just, it's chaotic.

Yeah.

There's you.

So you think you're controlling by saying, I'm not going to be involved in alcohol because I'm not going to create that. But the drugs are still an escape for you.

Yeah, the drugs are still an escape. And just like, you know, at this time I'm a teenager, I'm like, oh, this is fun. And then it starts. So I live in the Detroit metro area.

Okay.

You can, when you cross Canada as obviously our borders and there's Windsor. And the drinking age in Canada is 19. So when I hit 19 from where I live to Canada to windsor, it's a 20, 25 minute drive. So all the kids go over to Windsor to get drunk. And we went over there for my 19th birthday. And that's when I fell in love with alcohol. I fell in love with bar scene. I fell in love with how it made me feel. I felt safe. I felt.

You said you fell in love. It made you feel safe. You like the bar scene. Tell us for the listener that doesn't drink to that level. It doesn't understand. Like, I've had, for me, for instance, I've had a glass of wine at a time that's like I think the most I've ever drank. Like, like I feel that little tiny buzz and then my control kicks in. So talk to us about getting past that because I think there's people that do understand what you're talking about. There's a lot of people that don't. So what does that feel like and what does that provide for you? You said it gives you fun. What is it doing for you?

It's making me feel, it's making me feel safe. Like, it's making me like that shyness that I had as a kid. I'm no longer shy. Like, I just, I can do whatever I want. I can say what I want. I can dance without being like, oh my God, somebody's looking at me like I just give zero Fs when I.

Kind of like an alter ego. Like, you're like. It's like almost like you're putting on a costume or you get to be something else that day or you step into something.

Yeah, I put on my. I put on my cape. I put on my protective shield.

Yeah.

You know, being able to, to just feel free.

Yeah. Okay. So you're thinking it's a good thing. You're like, okay, I've been avoiding it, but this is a good thing, right?

Exactly. So. So at 19 to about 22, 23, I believe it was all fun. And, you know, it's like, I'm young, going to school, working. I'm like, this is what people do. And then it starts taking a different toll. So that's why, too. I'll never regret that life of mine because. Or if I ever see pictures of myself with girlfriends when I was like 19, 20, I can't get mad at that person.

Okay?

I can't. I've. You know, it's just because there were some fun times.

So you're being funny, you're actually being sort of responsible. Like, you're not. You're working, you're in school, you're doing all the things. So you're not. Right now, it's not hurting your life.

No, not, not at that time. And then it starts to. About 22, 23, it starts to get dark. I'm blacking out more frequently. You know, there's a point where I'm blacking out from 22 to 29. When I quit drinking, I blacked out once, if not twice a week from drinking.

Wow.

So this is where it gets into waking up in jail, not knowing how I got there.

Oh, my gosh.

Waking up in hospitals, not knowing how I got there, waking up next to men not knowing what their first names was after I slept with them. So it's stuff like that. It's me picking fights with boyfriends at the time or family members or, you know, girlfriends, and just getting very mean, saying very, very mean, harsh things that I would never say sober. So what would think it?

Walk me through this for a minute. So like, any one of those things you just named, waking up in jail, hospitals, men, fights, all those things, any one of those would be a huge wake up call for a lot of people. Why didn't one of those episodes. So what would happen? You wake up in jail and you're like, holy crap, how did this happen? But then you go out and do it again. So walk us through that conversation. Like, how does that. And I'm really just trying to understand, like, how does that one. How does one incident not stop you? How does it. What happens there?

Because I wasn't ready to give it up. Because I loved alcohol. I grew an extremely toxic relationship with it. And that's where the addiction, like with my drinking, I won. Like how you said you're able to have one and be done. There was no off switch for me.

Okay.

Once I started drinking, I could not stop. And this is more common than a lot of people think. Binge drinking. That's where I went into was the complete, complete binge drinker of just, like, never I would be able to function in a blackout and still have conversations with people, but, like, nobody was home inside.

So this is so interesting because it's almost like the reward of that first drink and being able to zone out and numb out was so powerful that it didn't matter about the jail, the hospitals, the loss of memory, or the strange men. Is that accurate?

Correct.

That's how powerful it is.

It's that powerful. And if you look at my age, like, my age during it, it's like, I still almost felt like, okay, this is like, this is. I'm the party girl. That's kind of how I became, like, everyone wanted me to go out and be with them. And then after midnight, I was like a gremlin, you know, turned into your friends during this.

Like, they just knew this was something about you. Like, do they try to intervene? Do they try to help you? Like, would they call you the next day and say, we're concerned? Like, where. Where was their role in all this?

Yeah, I had a couple good girlfriends who would. But then at the end of the day, too, it's like, what could they do? Their lives were evolving and, like. But they still loved me and still cared about me and wanted me around. But, I mean, there were periods of times I would go without talking to my very close girlfriends because I pissed them off so bad a night before and just, like, embarrass them and, you know, did low blow, said low blows, and tried picking fights where it's like, that was my friendships for a very long time. And then I found people who enabled me and didn't care because they had a problem as well. So. Okay, but what I want to say is how you just asked, like, why waking up like that, like, why wouldn't that have stopped me waking up next to strange men and all of that. Because this is the cycle of addiction, too. It brings you to a point where you wake up the next day and how the way I drink, I was always still drugged the next day and, like, then hungover, all of that. And then the shame would come down on me being like, oh, my God, I had another drunk episode. I'm never gonna do this again. And then a couple days later, I was right there. Because after a couple days later of your Body leveling out. And then once, two. This is now a habit. And that's all I knew. Drinking was my hobby. Drinking was my life, my world, everything. I didn't have any other hobbies except for going out and partying. So then it's just like wired into your brain of, like, that is what you do.

Wow.

And then, so after a couple days, I would start feeling a little bit better and be like, okay, I'm like being productive in my life, cleaning the apartment, like, whatever it is. And then self sabotage comes into play because I never fully felt like I was worthy of feeling good.

Wow. So it's a cycle here.

It's a cycle. It's 100% a cycle.

Wow. Is there anything, someone, before I get into, like, how you really figured this out and then how you healed and shifted and brought this full circle. Is there anything anyone could have said or done while you were in this, before you had your wake up that would have changed your course?

No.

None.

No. And I'm a firm believer of, you know, life always happening for you, and my life happened for me how it was exactly supposed to. How everything laid out, how everything was. It happened. It was supposed to happen that way.

Okay, so then in hindsight, in that time of your life, not when you figured this out and started healing in that time of your life. Parent listening right now. Is there anything that they should know or should do or tell their kid?

Yeah, that there's help. That there's help. And that they, the parent is there for them when they are ready to get the help. You cannot force that upon somebody. You can't. You can't. You cannot. I mean, just got chills.

I just got chills. Because that. That's like so incredible what you just said. Like, so I hope parents hear that. It was. It's not scolding them, it's not forcing them, it's not intervening. It's saying, I'm here for you and there's help available.

Right. Because too with addiction and how it is. And I mean, this has been an epidemic for years. I don't even want to start about. You know, everyone thinks that this has been an epidemic because of the opiate crisis. This has been an epidemic for.

Oh, yeah. Since the beginning of time, like with alcohol.

And then, you know, you think of like the 80s crack epidemic, like, and then now it's the opiate heroin epidemic. So then there's this level of shame as a parent where you're thinking, what did I do wrong? I give my parents. They did the Best that they can, they could for their circumstances and who they are as people.

Totally. Okay, so I love what you just said. I just wrote that down. I'm here for you and help is available so that. That's it. Parents, that. That's all you can do. We can't force anything else. Okay, so. So now tell us what happens. Like, when do you. What forces you to wake up and say, okay, I've got to get help. I've got to fix this?

So let's see. I was 29 years old. I was probably about six weeks shy of turning 30. And it was September 18th of 2012. It was my last night working at the bar because I was transitioning myself to go into the. Into full time medical field.

Okay.

So I was living with my boyfriend at the time, and he was like, hey, like, please don't go in and get all messed up tonight. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And of course I did.

You know, it started your nightly thing.

Yeah, yeah. You know, and it was my last night at the bar that I worked at for a long time. Like, we were gonna have a party and celebrate. So the next morning, I woke up to my best friend. My two best friends stayed the night because we were all drinking together. And my one best friend, Kristen, was like, court, Fiona is gone. We can't find Fiona. And Fiona is my cat. And Fiona is the cat that my boyfriend and I rescued from the streets.

Okay?

Now, my second time, losing her in a blackout because I left the screen door open to go outside and smoke.

Okay?

And then Kristen's like, and Matt is not happy. And I was like, oh. I was like, fiona's in the house. It's no problem. I'll get her. And whatever was Matt. Okay? So Matt comes downstairs and he is pissed. He's upset that Fiona's gone. And he tells me. He was like, we've been together for a year and a half. He's like, and if you want to keep drinking, go right ahead. He's like, but if you continue this, I'm not going to stay with you. So I said, okay. So I made a pact that if I found fur pants, that's our nickname for her, if I found fur pants, that I would stop drinking. Because from 25 to 20, I was going in and out of, like, spurts of, like, trying to moderate drinking, all of that. So I found her three days later. And when I found this cat, I was outside, I dropped to my knees and it was. It was a spiritual moment. It was like time went by. Slow. And I could cry about this. Anytime I tell this story, I could cry. Time went by slow. I dropped to my knees, picked this cat up. She had leaves all in her hair, you know, and like, just she was a mess because she was out in the wild for three days. And ever since then, I haven't drank because I made that promise to Matt, who's now my husband, and Fiona got it. And it was time for me. It was making that promise to myself, but having these two things that I really loved. And I ruined so many romantic relationships with guys because of my drinking. And then he was the one who just changed it for me. So, you know, he didn't force me to. He gave me a choice. And I'm forever grateful for the choice he gave me and for the cat who lived.

Wow. Wow. So it was a decision right then and then. And I always say, deciding comes first. So you made a decision. Did you just stop or did you go get help?

I stopped. And then it was. It was. I stopped. Made the decision to stop. I spent about a week in my room, really, because I drank myself. So I had so much to drink. I detox for probably like a straight week. So I did go to AA for a little bit in my beginning of sobriety. And I also just started healing. I really got into personal development. I just celebrated my seven year sobriety date.

Okay.

Through these past seven years, I'm a person who likes to try a lot of things different because they are things differently. Because I noticed how I've grown so much where it's like, you don't always stay the same. So one thing you might try that, it just doesn't work out for you. You got to keep trying to find it. So I've done personal development. I've been in and out of therapy, did a 12 step program.

And what do you think about that? Because a 12 step program seems to be the staple. Give us your thoughts on that.

My thoughts on it is I'm a firm believer of everyone should try it, go in, do it, take what you want and leave the rest. That is what I did. But it was just to a point where I just wasn't. I wasn't in agreement with all of it and not saying that 12 step is wrong because it works for a lot of people. But for me and what I was seeing and how I wanted to do my recovery, I just. I just didn't feel like it was a fit for me.

Yeah.

Because there's no one way to recover. And that's the whole thing. About 12 step programs that has. That's the only one thing that has been there since I think like 1930, when Bill W. Started AA. So, you know, and rehabs are extremely expensive. Rehabs are not cheap at all. So. And I've worked with Mindset Coach. So there's a lot of things. Fitness has become part of my recovery. Meditation, huge personal development, huge. So there's a lot of things that I do to recover.

So what's your stance now on alcohol and drugs?

Alcohol. Alcohol is a hard one. I am not against it because not everybody has a drinking problem who drinks. Like you said, you can have a glass of wine and turn it off. And you know, some people only drink like once a month. Some people drink like twice a year. I think with alcohol it's. It's the most. It's the saddest thing. It's just sad because it's on every street corner. I mean, it's everywhere. They have alcohol in movie theaters now where it's like, come on, man, you really need alcohol to sit down, watch something on the big screen. Like, we're just taking innocence away from people.

You know, you said at the beginning of this interview that sometimes you could still have a drink and shut it off, though. Why even go down that road? Are you not. You're not scared of it going back that way?

Oh, no, I could never have a drink.

Okay, so you don't. So I misunderstood. So you don't have. You take. Stay totally away now.

Totally way. I think I said that I am the type of like my brain, I can't shut it off.

Got it. Okay. Do you. So when you. Are you ever tempted still?

No, no, because I know what it would do. I mean, I would just be right, you know, for me, drinking is. Is attempted suicide.

Amazing.

Every time that I drank, it was a slow death.

What about what I. What I've heard from a lot of people that had struggled with alcohol is that they may decide that, but then something stressful happens or something sets them off and they get tempted. Are you ever scared of that?

Well, yes, because for me, even though I'm here at seven, I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. And it's still. Again, I have. When I'm stressed out in my life, I'll have drinking dreams where I'll wake up in like a cold sweat and like, did I drink and then have to check myself? It's just a part of me that is, you know, for a long time, those first four years especially, it was like you had the devil and the angel on your shoulder being like, yeah, come to this side, you know, and it. Because it's about coping. Totally. How I coped with everything in my life was I turned to drinking, even if it was something good that happened, would have been like, you know, if you would have interviewed me today, and I would have been like, oh, my God, I'm on Natalie Jill's podcast. I would have been sitting here with a glass of wine and, like, having.

Fun, like, thinking it's fun and that's the way to do it.

It's fun. Exactly. And that's the whole thing. It's just like, yeah, for some people. Some people just cannot handle alcohol.

Totally. So, Courtney, do you have kids now?

I do not, no.

Okay. So do you think you might one day have kids?

Yes, we would like to have children. Yes.

And the reason I ask is when you do, how would you talk to them about the drinking, knowing what you've been through and knowing what you know now?

Well, that's great that you asked that, because my husband Matt, my boyfriend at the time, he gave up drinking too. Matthew didn't have a problem, but he definitely has had a lot of his own trauma due with alcoholism running on his side of the family. So before we talked, you know, when we stopped drinking, it was a choice to break the cycle with us for our kids and to have an alcohol free to have present parents.

Yeah. But will you tell them? Will you tell them what you've been through? What?

Absolutely. I have a niece who just turned 18, and I've said to her for past seven years, and I was like, you, you have to be careful with it.

Yeah.

You know, all my nieces and nephews, I'll be. I'm honest with.

So, you know, what I love about what you're sharing right now too, is, you know, I've worked with transformations in all different levels. Like, I've worked with transformations with fat loss, with health, with aging, with. And then on my podcast, I've interviewed so many people on how they transform their health, but even how they transform their bank accounts, you know, went from like homeless to millionaire or whatever. And there's such a theme with everyone I interview. And it. What's so interesting is you said the exact same things with. With recovery from addiction you started with. I made a decision, like, I decided it. I declared it like, this is what's happening, and you had a vision for something better. And I'm believing that that's what keeps you accountable now, is holding onto that vision for Something better.

Yeah. And to when I was about 25 years old, you know, when those dark times in my life, intuitively I always knew I was gonna have to give up alcohol. I knew it. I'm like, this is not working in my life. I mean, you don't want to go out and get so drunk and then try to kill yourself. You know, it's just like, this is not working for my life. All the missed opportunities, you know, sleeping with men. I have zero clue whose names there are.

Yeah.

Just not for me. So, yes. When losing Fiona and when Matt said that to me, I'm like, this is it. Yeah. I can't, like, I cannot go into another decade of my life continuously continuing the cycle.

Yep. Someone listening right now. Maybe they're drinking and they're in this denial that they think it's okay, but they know deep down, because I believe, you know, you know, at your core that something you're doing is not right. What do you want them to know?

That there's help, that there's help out there. You're not alone. Do not let that shame keep you down in your own addiction, your relationship with alcohol, whatever it is you want to call that, because I'm not here to tell people that they're addicted to. That's not my place. That's on other people to, like. That's on you to figure out. So whatever type of relationship you have with alcohol and you can live a thriving life sober, and you can still do all the things that you do now, drinking sober.

Yeah, I love that. Courtney, I asked this question to everybody on my show, and with you, it's going to. The question changes a little bit, but I typically ask if someone's listening and then their own personal rock bottom, and you're going to give them three pieces of advice to shift out of that level up and create everything from nothing. What would you tell them? And I want to ask you that same question, but as it relates to. To either somebody listening that has someone in their life that they see struggling with this, or they themselves are struggling with this. If you were to give them three pieces of advice on how they can start to level up and change this, what would you tell them?

This one makes me emotional, too. I would tell them they're not alone. You are not alone. There's millions of people who have. Are at where you are or have been where you are. You have to speak up and ask for help. Whoever it is. Even if you want to reach out to me, speak up and just know that you and Your life are worth it. Because for so long I didn't think my life was worth it. And when it's transformed into today, it's just night and day difference.

Amazing.

And people love you and care about you and want to see the best for you.

Yeah. So good. Tell us about what you do now because you really turned your pain into a purpose.

Yeah. Now I sober coach so that I work with a lot of one on one clients to helping them stay accountable to sobriety and to their sobriety and help them form new, healthier habits. When I quit drinking, I had to Google hobbies, guys. I have to google it.

What am I interested in if it doesn't involve alcohol?

It's true. And my husband and I laugh about it till this day.

Yeah.

When you had to Google hobbies, I'm like, now I have hobbies that are healthy and, you know, just helping people thrive in sobriety, Being able to go to concerts sober and just really change the way of thinking. And this relationship you had, you once had with alcohol and then two. I bartend on the side. So, I mean, I left the medical field because I was working in a pain clinic, which was a very triggering job. That's what I thought I wanted to do. I wanted to go into nursing and all that. And after six years, I was like, I can't do this anymore.

Yeah.

So I was able to go back and pick up a couple shifts a week to supplement some income. So. And I do that. And for the longest time I didn't. I was like. When I went back to that, I had this fear, but I was like, I don't want to fear alcohol anymore. And I'm able to be around it and just be like, whatever.

That's actually really interesting. I don't know that I've ever met somebody that can bartend and had overcome that. That's crazy.

When I tell people, I mean, they're like floored by it. They're like. But that's what I mean. But that's the perception. There's a lot of people who are sober in the food and food and beverage. Totally.

Courtney, where can people find you?

You can find me. I'm really active on Instagram, so you can find me, Courtney, or just find me at Sober Vibes on Instagram. You can go to my website, courtneyrecovered.com and I do a podcast as well called Real Aligned Women.

Amazing. I love it. Thank you so much. Courtney.

Thank you so much for having me on. It's been a pleasure.

Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found it helpful so others can join in. And don't forget to hit that subscribe so you don't miss out on future shows. And if you would leave me a five star review. I appreciate those so much. I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you you information that you find valuable and come interact with me over on Instagram at nataliejelfit. I read all the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day. Creating everything from nothing.