161: The Art of Slowing Down to Speed Up with Natalie MacNeil

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback? On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. Natalie McNeil. She's a calm, focused person who has a contagious energy about her that is so soothing, reasonable and super empowering. And she was not always that calm, focused person. In fact, at one time, work totally ruled her life. It was how she numbed out. It was where she felt all of her value was. And she was totally burning out. Today, as an Emmy award winning media Entrepreneur featured by Inc, as one of the 27 Women Leader Changers in the world, she's devoted to expanding human potential and inspiring people to live deeply meaningful lives. Through her books, videos, interactive films, coaching experiences and live events, she's been featured in Elle, Glamour, People, Time, Forbes, Entrepreneur, and more. Natalie has learned the art of slowing down to speed up and she's more successful now than ever. Join in today and learn exactly how Natalie McNeil leveled up and created everything from nothing. Natalie, you know I love your name. Clearly we were destined to do this talk. You know, it's funny, I've run into you a few times. It's like we have the same friends, the same paths, the same people. A couple times we were both interviewing on the same podcast and we happened to be back to back. So we were destined to talk and dive into to you today. Thanks for being here.

Thanks so much for having me.

Yeah. So my gosh, Natalie, so much that you do. So accomplished. You really are a force to be reckoned with. And a big part of what you do now is you support women in figuring out and being their purpose and being in their power. And gosh, that's such a big topic. I think there's a lot of women so stuck in it. I am assuming, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, that at one point you were stuck there like you didn't know what yours was.

Yes, and I knew from a very young age that I was going to take a very different path, an unconventional path. Like I just, I felt it in every fiber of my being and I had no idea what that was going to look like. But when I got to university, it started to become Clearer and clearer that I wasn't made for a 9 to 5. I didn't think I was going to be able to fit into that mold. And I started to explore business and entrepreneurship, and it kind of happened serendipitously in terms of how pieces started coming together, because I was really interested in media, and I happened to have a neighbor move in next door to me who was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing, but he was like a decade ahead of me. And I ended up getting to start working with his company. And then at the same time, I started this little blog called she Takes on the World. Just writing about the exploration that I was on, writing about some backpacking I was doing while starting a business and what my experience was. And then that blog started to take on a life of its own.

Yeah, I tend to find that sometimes the blogs that start that way or the writings, the books that start that way, where it's like you're in search of something yourself and you're sharing it, those seem to be the most authentic and what tends to take off. So I'm assuming you kind of started the blog almost for yourself. I would imagine.

Yes. And at first I had like seven subscribers, and I was so grateful that there were seven people who wanted to be along on this journey with me. And then, you know, that grew into thousands and then tens of thousands and then hundreds of thousands. And it was all so unexpected. But I think what did bring people into the journey was that they felt like it was a journey that they were on.

Yeah, I love what you just said, Natalie. And I just, like, got chills when you said it, because there's a lot of people listening that if they started a blog or project or Instagram or YouTube or whatever, and they had seven subscribers, they would be so stupid. Stuck on the lack mindset of, oh my gosh, I only have seven. But what you just said, I hope you all heard that I got chills. Like, literally, you just had gratitude for those seven people. They're not just a number, they're people.

Yes. I'm so glad you said that, because one of the biggest blocks that I see people come up against when they want to start a side business or they want to start an Instagram feed and start exploring what that might look like as a business or starting their own business. Those first one to two years, when you're in that growth stage where there's a lot that you are putting out into the world, there's a lot of relationship building, and oftentimes you're not seeing much back. You have to build that foundation. And I see people after three months, be like, it's been three months. There are like a hundred people that I've been able to get onto my list. I'm giving up. And I see people walk away because they're looking at the numbers. And we've become so obsessed with these vanity metrics of how many people you have following you. And people associate that with their own worth as well. And my journey has been to be grateful for those people. And here's the thing. If you have a small audience, you can have a relationship with every one of those people. I knew seven people's names when I got up to a few hundred subscribers. I knew everyone's names. I emailed people who personally and built those relationships. And that became the foundation of my brand. So no matter where you are, if you have like 10 people on a list or following you, honor those people. And that's the foundation for a lot of success later on.

That is so amazing. You're literally the first one I've ever interviewed that brought that up. Like about a small number. I've heard the opposite. Like, I had a small number and I felt defeated. But like, I love that you just shared that because they really are. They're humans, they're individuals. It's not just a number. Did somebody teach you that or did you just figure that out? Has that always been you? Because I'm imagining the ego gets in the way. And at some point you had this like, oh, I only have seven followers. Did you just shut that up right away? How did you know to have gratitude?

I love people. Like, I love people so hard. And I want the best for people. And I know that for me, I like when I'm not seen as a number. Like, we're human beings. And I think I see this a lot in Los Angeles. Like we live in Los Angeles and there is a lot of vanity around followers. There's a lot of people who chase those numbers. And I've just never, I've never chased the numbers. I've always just focused on people and seeing people and how I can serve and find from that place. Everything has unfolded so beautifully. And here's the thing. You don't need a huge following to make a very good living and have a beautiful, profitable business that you love running. I know people who have 1,000 people who follow them and who are on a list and have million dollar businesses.

Yeah.

And my business didn't need tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of Followers to become a seven figure company. But those relationships, I believe, were key because then you have higher conversion rates. So the people who have smaller lists, they often convert higher because of that personalization and knowing everyone.

Yeah, you can go deep.

You don't need a million followers.

No, and I agree. I'll tell you my fate, personally. My Facebook performed so much better when I had, you know, a few thousand people. Now, at almost 2 million, I don't reach the same people. Like, it's like, I don't know who I'm reaching.

It's.

It's a random, you know, gamble every day.

You have to pay for the engagement as well. You have to pay to reach all those people versus being able to reach them organically, which I think is easier with a smaller number as well. So I just want people to really let that land, like, take that in. You don't need a big.

I love that.

A big following.

Natalie, where did this come from? In. You were. Did you ever feel that you were being treated as a number? Like, is this. I'm. I'm sorry, I'm going to go deep here because I got to know. I want to know how you're wired. So was there a time when you were younger? Is like this. Is that where that came from? Or did you witness that? Where did that come from?

I. I can't trace it back to a particular moment, but I grew up in a family that really valued people and connection and being part of a community. So I'm from a smaller city in Canada. I've only been in LA for the last few years, and my upbringing in a small city of Canada was like, we're a community. Our community is extended family. We care about people. We would, as a family, go out and volunteer at the local food bank or we would prepare food for homeless people. Like, we, we just grew up in a space of caring for the people around us. And I think that that was just a. It was a core value that I was raised with that I've carried into.

That's beautiful. Yeah, that's really incredible. I think it's a huge thing that's lacking right now, especially in the world of social media. I see it's very much lacking.

And we all want to be seen. We all want to be. We all want to be seen and we all want to be acknowledged. Like, we're. We're humans and we go around on these phones and devices and we're not connecting. Like, we're connected more than ever before through technology. But that leaves us starving for Connection, ironically. Yeah.

So do you believe that that is, do you teach that in your work? Is that something that you help people do to get back to connection? And how do you help? How do you do that? Like, I'll tell you, I struggle with myself. Like that dang cell phone is always there with a number or something lighting up.

Always a notification. I think it's having the awareness. So my most recent book is called the Rituals. And in it there's 36 practices to return you to purpose and aliveness and joy and connection and presence. And I believe that we have to make that time and we have to see it as a priority. And I think before we can make it a priority, we have to understand the ways that we, we are limiting ourselves by the way that we're living addicted to our devices. And when we have the awareness of how the devices keep us addicted, I think we have to have that awareness before we can step out of it. So when you get a notification that's a microdopamine hit to your brain, your brain starts to crave it and starts to feed off of those notifications, the followers, same thing you're following going up. Those kinds of metrics actually change. They're making changes to your brain and they're keeping you addicted. Social media platforms are designed to make you addicted to them and keep you logging in, keep you coming back. That's a big deal. And it is so much noise. And when there's so much noise, you can't hear your own inner voice and your own truth and be connected to your own purpose and secret newsflash. Like I believe that we all have, we all have the same purpose. And we, I don't think we truly know our, like our purpose or our part of the bigger purpose and bigger mission until we're taking our dying breaths. And if you can take on that belief that your purpose isn't out there for you to find, I believe that that is a big distraction of the ego that in always seeking your purpose and what is my purpose? And having that keep you from taking action? Because clarity comes from the actions that we take and from diving in and experimenting and seeing what lights us up, not from thinking about it and trying to find it. If we step into a place of like, okay, my purpose is like, I'm here, I'm here for something. I'm having this human experience. I'm here to love and to come to know myself. And we come to know ourselves by knowing each other. Like we're mirrors. We need each other. And I Will know what my mission was when I can look back on my life, when I'm taking my dying breaths.

Gosh. Okay, so there's. Now I've got like a million questions for real. I'm writing fast. So there's three things that you said that are very common things that come up when people have a personal tragedy, like a personal health scare. They almost die or they have a massive setback. And I know because I've interviewed countless people on their. Their traumas and they had this awakening, this spiritual awakening. And they said these three things and you just said them all, that they realize what's important now is connection being present and that we're all one. Like, basically love, like we're all one and we're all connected. How did you figure that stuff out without having the huge health sc? Because this is a common thing for someone that's almost dying or, you know, they tragically lose something. How did you get there?

Yeah, there's a few things. This is interesting because I've only unpacked this, I think in the last few years. I was with a healer in Bali and he. If you've ever been to a healer in Bali, they like do a lot of things with your feet. They'll take a stick sometimes and they'll like put a stick in your ear.

I have not done that.

Stick into the bottom of your foot. And you're just like, what's happening right now? And he said to me, you had a traumatic birth, didn't you? And I was like, yes, I was taken out with forceps and people can't see. I have this scar on the right side of my face.

Wow.

And I almost died. They thought I was dead. And he said, because of your birth experience, you were imprinted with a very deep purpose and sense of purpose and connection. And it was just imprinted on you from having a near death experience as you were amazing.

So even as an area.

And when he said that, I just. I could feel the truth of it in my. In every cell.

That's wild.

And I could. I remember growing up, I would look in the mirror and my scar growing up was very noticeable. You know how scars can have like a purpley blue color? Like at least with my skin tone. And they can be very noticeable. They're fresh. For years through my childhood, I had this like purpley blue scar on my face that a lot of people would comment on and ask me about. And I was a little insecure about it growing up, but I would look in the mirror and I would Say to myself, I must have survived for a reason. Like I must be here for some, for some reason. And I'm grateful that I made it. Like it was just something that was part of me. And then when I was a kid, when I was maybe I think I was around five years old. And I've had a few stays in the hospital throughout my life, but I had a stay in the hospital because I had this infection in my respiratory system that I had to be hospitalized for, for a little bit. And I was around a lot of people who were really sick. And I just remember having. I remember feeling so held and I could feel this sense of like love and connection and spir. And it was a really profound experience for me too. And one of my earliest memories.

That's amazing. You're the first I've heard that it was like that young. I've literally only heard people get this either from a traumatic experience, traumatic life experience, or plant medicine, like a lot of plant medicine. Then you can hear that too. But those are like the two, the two themes. So I think it's brilliant. And for anyone listening, if you. I used to be this person. I used to be that person that would cringe at those words. Like, cringe at connection. Like, I didn't want to be connected, I want to be disconnected. And I used to cringe at presence. Like I thought, you know, multitask, get more done. And I also used to cringe it like, we're all one. I mean, my gosh, my slogan was excuses or solutions, you decide. And I meant it, you know, But I'll tell you, I've come to this place of really believing that connection being present and that we're all one is the key to life. Like it's, it's, it is the key to happiness. And when we figure that out, we maybe don't have to go through a huge tragedy to get there.

Yes. And when you return home to yourself and your true nature, and I believe we can do that through meditation, we can get there maybe a little faster through plant medicine or having. I mean, I don't wish a near death experience on anyone. I know that really wakes people up. But we don't have to have those experiences to awaken into the truth of who we are. But we do need to drown out the noise because we live in a society where there is more noise than ever before. We're constantly hit with these notifications. We have our phones with us all the time. And like, it creates a lot of noise. This 24 hour news cycle. And we need to drown out that noise and return to stillness so that we can really feel the truth of who we are. And I believe that everyone can touch that feeling when they give themselves the space to do it.

How do you start to do that, Natalie, for the person listening, that is the not as evolved you, the person that is me a few years ago with this hustle, and I've got so much to do on my to do list, and my kids and my boss and all this stuff, and they feel like they have to keep doing that. How do you even start to drown out that noise without feeling behind or like getting into overwhelm?

It starts by giving yourself little hits, bursts of evidence. And that feeling, it's when you can touch that feeling, even in a small way for a moment, that we know that there's something deeper there to explore. And I actually don't believe that you have to sit for like an hour in meditation, because I know that if you ask someone to sit for an hour in meditation, which does have benefits, there's a lot of resistance to that, especially when you're just starting. So I like to ask people to set a timer for like two minutes. Can you do two minutes? Actually, the first time that I ever meditated, I was a teenager. I was in China, and I was in this monastery, and this monk asked me to meditate, and he said, just close your eyes for a minute, for 60 seconds. And after 60 seconds, he rang a little bell and he's like, that's enough for today. And I was like, huh? And I wanted more. I wanted more because I felt something in that moment. And I started doing like a minute more every day until I built up to longer periods. I'm also a big believer in no extra time practices, which means bringing awareness to the things that you're already doing. And that starts to actually change your brain. It actually starts to create different neural pathways, new neural pathways, when you are doing things a little differently or bringing presence to the things that you are already doing. So, for example, when you are eating or when you are about to drink your coffee or your tea in the morning, can you bring your full awareness to that one thing? Can you bring your full awareness to, wow, these coffee beans that were grown on this farm in Costa Rica, I am so grateful for that farmer, for those farmers who, who cultivated those beans. I'm so grateful for the roaster of this coffee. I'm so grateful that I have these beans that I get to grind them, for this smell, for the feeling of having that coffee like going into my body. I love coffee. As a ritual. So can you make more things in your life a ritual? When you're taking a shower, instead of just being in the shower, can you use that time to take a few deep breaths? You're going to shower anyway, so can you take a few deep breaths? Can you let the water wash over you and cleanse you? Like, cleanse you on a deeper level? Can you release. Can you imagine your stress and tension going down the drain as the water rolls off of you? And the more presence you step into, the more that presence opens. It's like it starts to crack you open and you'll want more of it because that's just something that connects you to your true. To your true nature and to who you really are. Everything else is a distraction.

Yeah.

Like, if you feel like you always have to be doing, you always have to be hustling, that is distracting you and it is masking something that you are avoiding. There's like a fear there. There's a block to you being in the truth of who you really are.

Yeah. I think it's another. It's another way of numbing out, I believe. And I'm guilty of it. I was definitely guilty of it. Like, it's a way you don't have to feel, you don't have to be in the present moment, because then it requires you to feel and be with yourself.

Yeah. And the question to ask yourself is, if that's resonating for you and you're listening, like, what am I avoiding feeling? What am I distracting myself from? What is all the doing masking? And what's underneath that? And a practice. Another ritual that I love from the book, and I do this one every day, is stream of consciousness writing. And you can do this for just 60 seconds where you close your eyes and you ask a question. So the question could be, what is me numbing? Or what is me, like, hustling all the time? What is that preventing me from? And sitting with that question for just like 60 seconds, close your eyes, and then pick up a pen or pencil or pencil crayon, and for 60 seconds, just write whatever is coming through. So you write and you don't stop writing for that 60 seconds. And you can build this up to two minutes or three minutes. But if you get stuck on a word, you just write the last word until the next word comes. And it helps you to start to unlock what is stuck. It helps you to start unraveling all the ways that you are actually keeping yourself stuck or Playing small. Because the truth is, all of that hustling and all of that doing, sometimes we think it is bringing us to a certain result. When really when we slow down and we return to this place of our power and return to a place of presence, a lot more is available to us in that space. More joy, more happiness.

Yeah. Last year, personally, I decided I was going to. My goal for the year was to create space. I just had this idea that I needed to create space everywhere. And by creating space, that meant saying no to a lot and taking a lot off my plate. But that single change, just saying when I look at my calendar, create space has opened up so many more opportunities, so much more creativity, so much more of fun and presence just from that. So everything you're saying is really resonating with me because that very idea of creating space, like, for instance, even interviewing right now on this podcast. I used to book like four podcasts back to back, like an hour, hour, hour. And I don't do that anymore. I don't do more than one, maybe two in a day. And there's a two hour block because I want space to think ahead, I want space to think after. I want to do the intro, I want to do it well versus, like, rushing through it. So that idea of creating space is really what everything you're saying right now allows for that, to create space. My question for you is, do you ever struggle with that? Like, do you innately ever want to go into the hustle and how do you stop yourself?

Yes, I have this, like, war. It's felt like a war within me between Warrior Hustle CEO Natalie and, like, playful. My inner child wants to be taken care of. I live in la. I want to be outside all the time. I don't want to work so much, Natalie. And I actually visualize them, like, sitting down and having a conversation and working out the details of what that looks like and what, what do those parts need? So, like, the part of me that wants to be hustling, that wants to be in warrior mode, like, okay, tell me what you feel you need. And when I speak to that part of myself, that part of myself wants me to feel taken care of. That part of me wants to know that my future is secure, that I have enough money, that I have a thriving business, that I have retirement savings, like, that part of me wants to feel fully taken care of. And that part of me feels like it is a protector. And then when I ask the playful part of me, like, what do you need? Like, what do you want to be experiencing. What are you not getting? It's like I want to experience the world with my own two eyes. I want to find and unlock new parts of myself through connections with other people or visiting places. Like I want to truly live. And then they start to sort of integrate. And now those parts of me actually feel much more integrated, whereas they used to feel like they were at war with each other. And that part of me wants me to also be in a creative flow. Because when I'm in my creative flow, when I'm playing more, I actually make a lot more money too. When I started playing more, when I got to la, because I used to live in Canada and in the winters, like for a six month period, I didn't like the cold, so I would just work non stop. And I got to LA and I'm like, it's nice outside. I want to be outside all the time. And I was terrified that I was going to not make as much money because I wasn't working as much. And the opposite happened. I was like working half the amount of time that I used to work and I was making twice as much.

Isn't that incredible? I've heard that story over and over and over again.

You see it over and over and over again. And I think for people listening, it's really a hard thing to grasp. Like for me, I could not grasp that. I'm like, there's no way I'm going to make more money by working less. It's just not. It doesn't add up, it doesn't compute for me until you give yourself the evidence of that. And you have to start somewhere to dive in and to do things a little differently and to see what happens as a result. And now I just have the evidence in front of me of when you have creative space, when you take time to do things like of high quality, instead of trying to do all this stuff you like, everything converts higher. People resonate with it. People resonate with it because you're taking the time to share something very authentically and powerfully. And as a result, business soars. But I needed to experience that for myself to really believe it. So I don't expect anyone listening to believe that until you try it.

I went through that same thing, but I will share for anyone that doubts that. I guess the first thing that made sense to me with that is that if you have less time that you're working, you're going to say yes to only the priority things. So that's the first thing is it helps with your to do list. Like your to do list goes down. At least I found that. I used to have this forever to do list and now it's like my to do list is minimum because it doesn't even go on my to do list unless it's really something I really want to do or really is going to help move my business forward.

Yes, absolutely. And I love separating my priority list and to do list. I love that you brought that up. Because. Because our to do lists are never ending. Like, you cross one thing off and you add three more things. But a priority list, those are the things. For me, the priority list are things that are going to matter a year from now. A year from now, it's going to matter that I took on that priority. Whereas my to do list is just all the stuff that has to be done for administrative purposes and for me to just be able to live my life day to day and run my business like it's never ending. There's always something.

Yeah, super Aha moment. Because not one of those social media notifications or emails are going to matter in a year. Not one of them.

Yep, exactly.

Wow.

Exactly.

So did you. Do you ever find that because you're wired really to be more, you are an entrepreneur and like you said, you're wired with these two sides of you where you wanted to hustle. If you're around people in hustle mode, does that add stress to you? Does that pull you back in? Is it like an addiction or have you really worked that you're more that calming other side now and you can bring them down.

It doesn't affect me like it used to. Do. You know what? It really affected me in New York and when I was still in Toronto, but in la, I feel like it's a completely different vibe. When I was in New York, though, I felt a lot of pressure to always be working. And in la, I know a lot of people who have more balance, whatever balance means to them in their lives. Like, they get out more, they prioritize. Like, we've been at a couple lunches where it's like midweek and we are at a lunch with amazing women and we're taking time out of our busy work days to connect with each other and to have that experience. That's pretty new for me. But in terms of the hustle, there are periods where I still feel like I step into that mode. Like right now with a new book out and I'm doing a new launch and I just rebranded everything and did a new website. I handed in two Manuscripts. This year, it's been a lot. It's been probably more on my plate than I've ever had before, but I relate to it differently. And I have this feeling at the end of the day of, I did enough. Like, I did what I could do. I did my best, and that is enough.

Yeah. For those of you listening, I. I know that probably many of you, like, if a friend asks you to meet for lunch, it's like, I don't have time for lunch. How can they even ask me for that? But if you really think about it, at the end of our lives, we're not going to wish we worked more. Why aren't we making it a priority to actually enjoy our life and live our life and meet that friend for lunch or do those things?

Exactly. Those are the things that are going to matter when we look back. It's going to be those moments. It's going to be the adventures that I went on. It's going to be time with my beloved, the people that I love. And I think it's really important to think about that. And actually, one of the things that I do every year for New Year's and on my birthday is I write my obituary.

Oh.

It's a ritual that I have that I think has made a profound difference in my life, because I think death and death is not something that we are comfortable talking about in Western culture, But I've been in Eastern culture and immersed in communities in places like Thailand or in Bali, and there's a different relationship to death. And I was at a. This is wild. I was at a cremation ceremony in Bali.

Whoa.

And watching. Because they burn the body on the pyre as a. Like, it's a ritual. It's part of the ceremony. And when you are. And so you're watching the body burn versus it being in a box in a casket, where, you know, the way that we do cremation is very different. It's like putting a box into what is essentially an incinerator. Whereas this is like a whole ritual. And watching a body burn on the pyre, which I was very triggered by when I was first invited. I was like, I don't want to see that.

That's what I'm thinking, as you're saying.

Was the most heightened energy and the deepest sense of aliveness I have ever felt in my life. And while there was sadness, there was also such euphoria and joy as the community was celebrating this person's life.

Wow.

And what he had meant to the community and to his Family. And in that moment, it just. Something shifted for me because I could see myself in that. I could see myself, like, being cremated. I could see myself being celebrated at the end of my life. And it just connected me to. It changed my connection to death. And I started writing an obituary pretty much every year. And that reminds me of what's really important and how I want to be remembered. And. And it becomes very clear from that place what my priorities truly are, and then I get to live in alignment with those.

That's really brilliant. Yeah. And I think. I mean, just listening to you say that, I'm like, gosh, that sounds so morbid. But hearing why you do it and what it's done for you makes me want to do it. That sounds incredible.

Sounds incredible.

Right now. You support women in helping figure out their purpose. I'm imagining talking to you. That a big part of that is getting them to unwind and slow down.

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I believe that there's a lot that our lives are trying to reveal to us, and we're just too busy, and we have too much noise in the mind to be able to hear it and to be able to really see it and feel it. So I work with people on essentially giving them a set of keys that unlock doors, that unlock portals within them where they can find their own answers and their own truth. Because I think we also are conditioned to always seek answers outside of ourselves, to always ask for, whether it's our parents or mentor or our boss or. We're kind of taught to be part of a system and to always be asking other people for their opinions. Like, even among friend groups, how many times do you sense something for yourself? But then you go to a group of friends and you're like, this is coming up for me. And people give you all this advice, and maybe it's counter to what you were feeling. And now you're like, okay, maybe that's not the decision that I should make then. So it's a matter of learning to ask others, but really trust yourself. And I see this a lot in business, too. We think that the next course or the next coach or the next mentor is going to have the answers, is going to bring us to the point that we want to really be at. Only we can get ourselves there. And I think that until you have returned to your own place of power and you have dove past, dove into all the layers and the conditioning, you can't get to where you really want to be. Like, we live in a world that has been interpreted and given Meaning for us. And what I want to know is what you would choose, how you would choose to live your life if somebody else had not told you how to experience the world, how you're meant to experience the world or be in the world, or how you have to show up. Especially as women, we've been conditioned to show up in a certain way in the world. And without all of that, how would you choose to be, and what would you choose to create? And I believe that life wants to reveal that to you. And you have to give yourself the space and the stillness to really hear that and be willing, have the courage to dive past those layers that we have created, Layers of a lot of the things that we've been talking about, the ways that we numb, the way that we disconnect from other people and from ourselves. Like, behind all of that, there's something really magical, really beautiful that wants to be revealed to you.

Did you know that this would be your focus when you were first having your awareness around this and you knew you wanted to start that blog? Did you know it would do this?

No. And actually, that first blog was called she Takes on the World. And I ran it for over a decade, until very recently, actually. And now I'm transitioning over to Natalie macneil.com because I used to really want to be out taking on the world and in that hustle mode, and. And I was seeking outside of myself, and there was something that felt off about that to me. And what I've come to realize over the last couple years is I don't want to be out taking on the world. And I've dove really deep into my inner world. And the more work I do in my inner world, the more the outer landscape changes and shifts and is more of what I actually want. So that outer world is reflecting my inner experience, which has been really interesting for me, and I had to go through a lot of pain to get there.

Yeah, that's what I wanted to ask about. What created that pain to get you? Like, what happened? Was it. Did it. I know you spoke into that healer. Did something happen? Like, does your business stop producing revenue? Like, what happened that woke you up to that?

I was still living in this small city in Canada, and I had been in a relationship for over a decade, and I feel like I used work to numb a lot in that relationship. I wasn't happy in it anymore. And I started feeling like I was a small pot, a plant in a small pot in a living room. And like, you can have a tree planted in a Small pot. And it will just be a little. A little tree.

Yeah.

If you want it to continue to grow and expand into all it's meant to be, you have to repot it bigger pot, bigger pot. Until eventually you would put it outside for it to expand into its fullest potential. I felt like a tree planted in a very tiny pot sitting on someone's coffee table in a living room.

Wow.

It had to get to the point where I. Where that just wasn't acceptable for me anymore. I had a comfortable life. People are like, you're with a great guy, you have a beautiful relationship, you have beautiful home. And yet I couldn't shake that feeling. And it took me a couple years of being in that space, being in that pain and going out and traveling and then coming back home and feeling like this is not the life that I imagine myself living. Like, I am so comfortable, and the comfort became so uncomfortable. And I had to get to that point where I was like, okay, I ideally want to be in the US And New York or in California. And then I had to go through, like, immigration and all that. And that is not a walk in the park. So it cost me a lot of money to do that, a lot of time. And yet I knew the whole time that it was where I was meant to be. And I was willing to go through the pain short term because long term I could sense, I could feel, I could see future Natalie, like, in all of her expansion and having an amazing life and more, the life that I had imagined living, which is the life I'm living now, I had to go through a lot of pain and keep the vision in mind. It was like holding that bigger vision of where I was headed, because Michael Beckwith says, like, the pain is going to push you until the vision is strong enough to pull you. And that is so true. Like, you have to have that vision that you are holding. Even though the vision is going to shift and evolve, you have to know that what you're going through, the work that you're putting in, the changes that you're making, the discomfort that you're going through is going to lead you to where you really want to be.

So good. So good. Natalie, if someone's listening right now and they're in their own personal rock bottom spot, maybe what you were going through there, or maybe it's not even so much a rock bottom spot right now, but they're like, gosh, I'm in the hustle. I'm in that noise. I'm numbing with work. I'm doing this. If you were to give them some advice right now on how they can start to shift out of that and level up their life, what would you tell them?

Why? Why are you doing it? I think coming back to this place of why is really important, because when we understand the why, we can get there in other ways. Like, I was just speaking to an entrepreneur yesterday, and I asked her, like, why are you in the hustle? Why are you working the way that you're working right now? Why are you sacrificing your health for this particular goal that you're chasing? And she said, well, I want the money. Like, I want the money in the bank account. I want to see the number in the bank account. I have the number in mind. And I said, but. But what is the emotion, what is the feeling that you believe seeing that number is going to give you? And she was like, whoa. And then we got to get to the heart of what she was really after. She felt like that was going to be freedom. She felt like that was going to allow her to have the light that she wanted to be living. And when we dove deeper into that, we could see a lot of mistruths there. Have you ever heard the story? This is a great story. It's one of my favorites. It's the story about a fisherman in Greece. So there's this fisherman, he's on this Greek island, and he gets up every morning and he goes out fishing. He sells a few fish. And then the rest of the day he, like, is in the Greek islands and has this beautiful life and loves his, like, wife and his family. And one day a company comes to him and they're like, we have a really big opportunity for you. You can be part of our fishing network. You'll, like, go out, you'll have multiple boats, you'll manage more people. You're going to make a lot more money. And he started asking, like, why? Why, why? And at the end of the whole story, I won't tell the whole story, but at the end of it, they want him to be. He keeps asking why? And they're like, because then you're going to be able to, like, retire and things that you want to do and live an amazing life, like, on the island. And he's like, okay, cool. So that's my life now.

Yeah, so funny.

Okay, so I'm going to do all that work so that I can return to the life I live now, which is working a few hours a day.

That he's not appreciating. And that is so common. I love that you went down that road. I see that all the time with people. When you get to the why, whatever the why is security, freedom. So I could travel whatever. It turns out they always have that. It's like literally right now, it's an.

Emotion, is a feeling that you believe it is going to give you. And my whole methodology is called the transformational embodiment method. And it really is about being it now. And actually you said something at the very beginning of our conversation when you were first bringing me on the show. You said, Natalie supports entrepreneurs or supports women in being their purpose. And that is the truth. It's actually it is being the purpose. It is being the abundance, being the power. It's not about finding it and getting to it. It's about unlocking it within you and living from that place. So if you believe that the money is going to give you freedom, how can you be freedom right now? How would freedom show up right now? Does freedom look like an 18 hour workday and no sleep and being tethered to the laptop? No.

No.

How would freedom be? And here's the embodiment piece of it. It's being it now and it's not. It's very different if you are trying to do something that brings freedom versus just being freedom.

Yeah.

How would freedom speak? How would freedom go into the next meeting that you have? How would freedom leave the house? I was doing this with a client yesterday around sensuality. She really wanted a deeper connection in her marriage and we were talking about their relationship and the feeling that she wanted to experience was like sensuality and connection. And she wasn't feeling that anymore. And I was like, okay, well, how would sensuality get dressed up for a date with. With her husband even though you've been together for 20 years?

Yeah.

How would sensuality not in the sweats.

With the Haagen Dazs on the tv, Right?

Like what is it that you want to feel? What is it that you think achieving a goal is going to make you feel? And can you be that right now?

So good.

That will transform every area of your life.

Oh, so brilliant. Natalie, tell us about your new book. Where can people find it?

My new book is called the simple practices to cultivate well being, deepen relationships and discover your true purpose. And it's everywhere, books are sold. You can find it@natalie macneal.com the rituals book. Some beautiful practices in there that are simple, that are going to take you like an hour a day. Simple practices that start to awaken these truths within you and awaken you to your your purpose and your power and your pleasure and your aliveness where all the magic happens.

So amazing. I'm getting that book stat. It's going to my Amazon cart like right now. So thank you so much Natalie.

I have loved our conversation. Thank you so much for having me.

Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found it helpful so others can join in. And don't forget to hit that subscribe so you don't miss out on future shows. And if you would leave me a five star review. I appreciate those so much. I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you information that you find valuable. And come interact with me over on Instagram at nataliejofit. I read all the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day. Creating everything from nothing.

Sam.