184: Life In Question with IN-Q

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, Fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback? On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst, learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. Inkyu is a national poetry Slam champion, award winning poet and multi platinum songwriter. His groundbreaking achievements included being named to Oprah's Super Soul 100 list of the world's most influential thought leaders, Also being the first smoke and word artist to perform with Circuit Du Soleil and being featured on A&E, ESPN and HBO's Deaf Poetry Jam. He's inspired audiences around the world through his live performances and storytelling workshops. Many of his recent poetry videos have even gone viral with over 70 million views combined. What I love most about Inkyu is his unique ability to channel emotion, feeling and instruction extreme presence through his art and inspire, uplift, entertain and empower so many others through this art. Join in today and learn exactly how Inkyu levels up and creates everything from nothing. Today on Leveling Up, I'm here with the one and only in Q who I'm excited to chat with. I've heard him perform a number of times. He's a songwriter and an entertaining poet and he just released his first book in quote within. So I'm excited to chat with you today. Thank you so much for being here. Nq.

Yeah, thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

So I've got to ask, for starters, where did the name ENQ come from?

So in Q I was given when I was 15. It was a nickname that my buddy Jay looked at me and said, you should be incue because you're always asking questions. So originally it was inquiry.

I love it.

And then eventually people started calling me in Q and I rarely heard my real name after that actually, so.

Oh, that's funny. I love it. So stuck. So thanks, Jay. Thanks, buddy Jay, for that. Did you always have the performer in you? Like, were you a kid that was performing to others or is this something that happened as an adult?

No, I mean, I started writing and freestyling when I was around 14 years old and it just, you know, I fell in love with it.

Yeah. Was it? The writing that you do is very unique to me. It's very entertaining. Very few people that I've encountered are able to pull together meaningful poets and be entertaining at the same time. Is that something that, like, was this literally just natural to you, or did you have coaching around it, or did you have a mentor that you had looked at to learn this?

No. So when I was around 14, I fell in love with hip hop, and I started freestyling with my friends. And freestyling was really my first form of meditation, because when you're freestyling, you can't think about anything else but the next word or the next rhyme. So it drops you into the moment. And I was born and raised in Santa Monica to a single parent. My father was not around. My mom was a school teacher. And I had a lot of, I think, emotion around that subject and other subjects. I never really felt like I belonged, that I was able to funnel through this art form and allowed me an outlet in a way that nothing else had up till that point. And I felt empowerment and freedom. And then when I was 19 years old, I wound up in an open mic for poets in Los Angeles called the Poetry Lounge. And to this day, it's one of the biggest, if not the biggest, open mics in the country for spoken word. So people would show up and, you know, 350 people would pack into a room to watch someone sign up on a list and be vulnerable from a place of strength and share their truth. And it was the first time that I saw people being celebrated for their vulnerability. So if someone got up and they spoke something that was real and it resonated, the whole audience would snap and clap and cheer, and I just felt at home immediately. So I started putting up my rapping acapella. And over the years, we ended up being on HBO's Deaf Poetry Jam together. You know, we won the National Poetry Slam championships. That community became a family. And one day I woke up and realized I was more of a poet than I was a rapper. And that started my poetic journey.

Oh, my gosh. I have so many questions in cue, because, first of all, this is really powerful, what you just said, that it's almost a form of meditation because it brings you to the moment. I want to hear a little bit more about that, because so many people listening right now understand the value of meditation, but they don't know how to do it. And I love that you just brought up that what I'm hearing you say is that there's not just one form of meditation, that anything that brings you to the present moment can create that.

Yeah. I mean, that's why they talk about moving meditations. Walking, meditations, meditations while you're doing your dishes. Anything can be a meditation if you're fully present. But I mean, I have various degrees of success and failure, you know, every single day trying to accomplish that. That's why I do specific practices. And meditation is obviously the foundational practice for bringing you into the breath and into the moment. And meditation isn't about being good at meditation. It's about practicing letting go. It's about going to the gym for letting go, letting go of your thoughts and your emotions over and over again. And we're returning to the never ending now. And once you build up that muscle, then when you're in the world and you get triggered, you're less likely to respond from a past projection or, you know, some desire for the future, and you actually can respond to the information that's in front of you. And. And so it's been invaluable as a tool for me. And there are many other ways that I try to find access to that same presence.

So the other thing I'm picking up from you, which is pretty cool, and I say this because I have a 12 year old who lives in her heart and her emotions. I find that she doesn't really get an outlet. So I'm interested in a little bit more about that. Because you learned like at a young age that it's important to be vulnerable, it's important to share and be that. How come that was able to happen for you? I'm curious, your perspective where other kids really struggle with being able to do that. Like they're, they're very interested in what others think of them or they get teased about that. Did you face any of that? Was that something that came up?

I think that's a part of growing up and we're taught in this culture to externalize our validation. And then if you really think about it, by the way, that's because of consumerism. You know, they basically sell you your own insecurities so that you can buy something and hopefully find love. You know. But let's go back to tribal days when you were in hunter gatherer times. If you basically got kicked out of the tribe, you would die. I mean, if you saw someone from a different tribe, you guys would probably try to murder each other. So, you know, to be rejected or judged by anyone in your environment triggers these very, like, old survival feelings. So of course, you know, you know, kids are going to go through that, but ultimately, hopefully they can find something where they can express their truth and just get it out of Their system, you know, hear their own voice and find empowerment. Because every single person has a very unique perspective and a unique story to tell. And it doesn't matter how they decide to tell it, they just need to tell it.

I'm wondering too, if it was maybe a little bit easier when you did this, because, like, I look at my daughter right now and she'll want to express something through music and she'll go put it on YouTube. But then what happens is she'll get one negative comment and it affects her self esteem. So I'm wondering if. Because when you started, it wasn't the day of social media. It wasn't out like that, if that made a difference at all.

No, I had other issues to contend with. Yeah, yeah, for sure. But what I will say is that, you know, that's natural. It's natural that you would, you know, be really hurt if someone doesn't like something that comes from your heart. So I think that this idea that we're supposed to be invincible towards other people not liking something that was really, like, from our heart and our soul, and we were vulnerable. If we're vulnerable and someone throws it back in our faces, that's a horrible feeling.

Yeah.

But you're not gonna please everybody. And that's a lesson that we all have to learn. If we don't learn that life is a miserable experience because you're running around trying to get everyone to love you all the time. And if you're not willing not to be liked, you'll never truly be loved. Because even if they love you, they won't love the true you. Yeah, we shouldn't be adapting to what we think other people want or what we think we should be. Our self image, I mean, it's so exhausting. There's so much energy, like, to hold up this mask and to hold up this armor and, you know, it's a horrible, horrible time filled with pain and suffering. I'm not disregarding that in any way, but I will say that there are some good things that are coming from this. And one of the good things that's coming from this is that people are less likely to hold up this perfectionism thing. You know, celebrity culture is boring to me. It really is. Like everyone pretends that they're perfect. We put our heroes in these pedestals and. And then resent them when they don't live up to our imaginary expectations later. Our whole entire culture is built on looking up to people or down on people. We never look at people. So to take this back to Your daughter. That one negative comment is some person out there who actually feels pain and they're trying to increase other people's pain. It's like two pain bodies trying to find each other. But when you know that and you can acknowledge that and you realize that you don't need to get everyone, then you can really step into your truth with empowerment. And even if it hurts your feelings, you can just kind of go, all right, well, I'm not going to focus my energy there. I'm going to focus my energy on the other people that actually liked it and appreciated it. And if you want to be vulnerable in your life, be vulnerable first. Even in a conversation. Or the people around you, your friends, your family. If you're vulnerable to someone and they don't respond well, they're probably a fucking asshole.

Yeah.

And then you don't have to hang out with them anymore. So it's a shortcut, you know, like a Trojan horse to deciding if you want to continue the relationship.

I love everything you're saying and it's super logical and it makes sense. But why do you think it's so hard for some people? Because I like what you said. So many people are stuck in this people pleasing thing or everybody has to like me, which isn't realistic. But how do you actually shift out of it? Because sometimes logical makes sense logically, but it doesn't happen. And I think it's something that really is holding a lot of people, especially people listening back. Is that fear of judgment or people not liking them?

I don't, I don't quite understand the question. Can you ask it again?

Yeah. Yeah. So logically we know, okay, the person making fun of us or being a jerk, that's their own issue. It's not about us. But how do we shut off that, that from stopping us from moving forward or from getting rid of that feeling that, oh my gosh, I just shared something vulnerable and now people don't like me and now I'm going to hide. Like, how do you. How did you get to a place where you could just look at it logically and say, okay, this doesn't affect me anymore?

I don't always look at it logically. Sometimes I look at it emotionally.

Okay.

You know, so I acknowledge whatever is going on, but then I just allow it to move through me and I decide to take a positive action anyway. You know, it's. It's not the emotions, the shadow emotions that get us in trouble. It's the fact that we perpetuate them. We blame other people we victimize ourselves. We get angry at God, you know, and then we stop ourselves from taking positive actions or steps forward. And so if. If something hurts my feelings in life, I acknowledge that it hurts my feelings. I don't ignore that or distract myself from that, and I accept it. And then I take that energy and I try to create something from it rather than destroy something.

Got it. Okay. And that's what you've done a fabulous job doing. Can you. I would love to. For the audience to hear a little sample of what you do and how you do your poetry and how you share. Because even as you're answering questions, to me, it's so interesting. It's like it comes out so naturally. All of your answers almost sound poetic to me.

Thank you.

It's really incredible how your brain does that. So I'd love. Is there something you could share so people can hear?

Yeah, sure. This is called Father Time, and you mentioned beforehand that people who listen to your podcasts are more story oriented. So this is a clearly a true story.

Okay.

I'm staring at the number wondering if I should call. I can hear the tick tock from the clock on the wall as it meshes with the thump thump beat of my heart. Sometimes getting something started is the hardest part. I didn't meet my dad until I was 15. I'd seen his photograph, but his image was sickening. A coward with a dick, but no balls to back it up. See, when he left me as a kid, I had cause for acting up. The funny thing about hate is the person you hate doesn't feel that hate. You feel that hate. But wait. The weight can be too much for a person to take. And personally, I was hurt. So I just locked it away. I was angry all the time and I didn't know why. I couldn't handle my rage, so I would hide it inside. Pretending everything was fine became a daily pastime. Time passed and I started to believe in my own lies. I took it out on my mom because she raised me alone. The rage I couldn't own had left me totally numb. It was like landmines in my mind that I didn't understand. So when the boy inside cried, the young man outside yelled. I think I learned about my masculinity from tv. The people weren't real, so I knew they couldn't leave me. I'd sit there for hours right in front of the tube. The images that I saw were my depiction of truth. It was manhood in a box, and I bought into it the censorship of anything inside of me that's sensitive. The sentence is a lifetime of tears suppressed in a stone face. An overblown ego they've distracted through a paper chase. Back when I was nine, I imagined in my mind that my father was a spy working for the FBI. And that's why he couldn't stop by, right? Or drop a line. He was off saving our lives from the bad guys. But that was just a lie that I used to used to get by so that you wouldn't see the tears welling up in my eyes. When you're rejected by the person that you're created by, you secretly feel like you don't have a right to your life. I thought if I confronted him, then it would make it all right. But since I couldn't forgive him, it just recycled my spite. I remember meeting him for the first time. Every time a person passed by, I would ask, mom, is that him? I look a little like him, right? No. Oh, what about that guy? That was what it was like to meet the man that gave me life. To shake his hand and look into his eyes. We talked till he apologized, then said our goodbyes. I walked away on my own. Then I began to cry. Now, for years after that, I acted like it was all resolved. I told him what I thought, so I figured problem solved. But it just re evolved. My insecurities were eating at my mental health. I took it out on the world because I hated myself. That's when I finally decided I needed some help. I opened up. I started writing and sharing about my past. I got honest with myself and I started chipping at my mask. I looked into the mirror and confronted what I saw. Accepting the reflection by embracing every flaw, then directing the connection into breaking down the walls by reflecting the perfection of the God inside us all. I stopped focusing on everything that I had been hateful for and started focusing on everything I'm grateful for. And personally, there is a lot you can be thankful for. If pain is dragging you down, just cut the ankle cord. That's when the weight lifted and I really started living. That's when my hate shifted and I really started giving. It's when my fate twisted. It was like an ego exorcism. Your mind state can be the most powerful of prisons. My father never played catch with me or gave advice. But if nothing else, that man gave me my life. And that's enough for me if that's all he can ever give. Because I'm appreciative for every day I get to live. And even though I don't need my dad to validate. I thought that I should write this poem to thank him for creating. Because every moment that we are alive is like a gift. And if that's not enough to forgive, then what is? I'm staring at the number wondering if I should call. I can hear the tick tock from the clock on the wall as it meshes with the thump thump beat of my heart. Sometimes getting something started is the hardest. I pick the phone up, the dial tone begins to sing. I punch his number into it and it begins to ring, ring, ring. Hello? Mike? Hey, man. It's Adam. Yeah. Your son. Wow.

Incredible.

Thank you.

So talented. I mean, gosh, is that how you're able to express yourself that way and just draw feelings and emotions in other people? It's really such a gift that you have. Really brilliant. And I would love to be in your mind to see how that. Even how you're able to do that. I wonder if that is something people can learn because it really. It sounds like it's just a natural to you. It just. That's how you. Your brain thinks. That's how, you know.

I mean, I do workshops all over the country in the world. I mean, at least before the quarantine.

Yeah. So people can actually learn. They can learn how to do this.

Yeah, but they don't even need to come to the workshops. I mean, the workshops are very specific experience, and we'll continue to do them on the other side of all of this, and we'll probably do digital ones as well. But really it's about people choosing something that's moving and meaningful to them.

Yeah.

Really? Have any rules for poetry? I think if you intend it to be a poem, it's a poem. And if you choose something moving and meaningful that you wouldn't necessarily talk about at a dinner party, after 15 minutes, something that really charges you, then the rest of the poem will almost write itself if you give it enough time and space. You don't need to have rules. It doesn't need to, like, rhyme. It can rhyme. It could be long, it can be short. It just has to be real.

Yeah. I can feel, as you're communicating it, like you can feel the emotion in it. You can feel the connection to it when you're sharing.

Right. So if you just choose a moment that changed who you are as a human being, for example, or a fear that you're moving through right now and wind up in hope and empowerment and infinite possibility at the end of the poem, you'd be surprised at how quickly it flows and then the other part of it is sharing it with someone, being witnessed.

Yeah, it's really brilliant. Do you know or care if your father has ever heard it?

I don't know if he's heard that poem, but we definitely had interactions before he passed, so I was able to get to know him as much as I needed to. And I certainly came to my own understanding of how forgiveness is forever intertwined with gratitude.

I was also something. It's interesting you just said that. I was really picking up on how. I think it's so important to find gratitude in things, and so many people would say that there is no gratitude in that. But I love how you expressed even just the gratitude of he gave me life. Like, if nothing else, he gave me life that was super powerful.

Yeah. I mean, look, my story is amazing compared to many. You know, I had a really great life and a really great childhood, even through the challenges that I had. And I know how lucky and blessed I am. But I think that no matter what the circumstances and the details of the challenges that we all go through, individuals, we ultimately, whether or not we understand why it happened, have to come to a choice of whether or not we're going to choose to be a victim. We're going to choose to blame other people, or we're going to choose to find gratitude and forgiveness and empowerment. Because the things that we experience make us who we are in this moment. And, you know, we have to embrace it whether we understand why it happened or not. I actually think understanding is really overrated. I've, like, spent my whole entire life trying to understand, but sometimes the questions are more important than the answers. And sometimes it's good to just acknowledge that you're not ever going to figure out why this happened. And you don't have to understand in order to find gratitude.

So understanding is overrated. That's because you're right. Because a lot of people get so stuck in the why but why, but why and why did they do this? And you're saying it doesn't matter. It doesn't necessarily matter why.

Yeah, I mean, look, why is an important question, but you don't have to beat your head against a brick wall, you know, for 10 years on why.

Yeah, yeah.

Eventually you're just not going to get through the wall. You're just. You're going to give yourself a big headache.

Totally. And it's not going to change it.

I think instead of why, you can move to how, you know, if you can't figure out why, move to how you can find Gratitude. How you can take positive steps in your life to forgive. How you can take positive actions in your life to alchemize the emotion.

Inkyu. Tell me about Inquire Within. Why did you want to write that?

Well, you know, about a year and a half ago, we decided to write a book. And I've been, as I said, traveling around the country and the world. We've been doing 70 shows a year. And so these poems that I've been writing have always been living, breathing documents for me. And they would change as I would change. They would evolve as I would evolve. I would edit them, you know, years after I wrote them, you know, I would stand on stage and say, I don't like this anymore. I would take it out. I don't believe it anymore. I would always give myself the opportunity to change what I believe and remove them from my poems. And yet I never had a home for my art. And so I was kind of like this weird person that would show up and, you know, perform or do a workshop, and people would have these really, really intense transformational experiences, and then I would just disappear. I wasn't extremely active on social media, which we've now started to do, but, you know, I would do videos. I've had viral videos, I've had multi platinum records for songwriting. I've won many awards. I was the first poet to perform with Cirque du Soleil. I mean, I have an enormous, you know, list of things that I've accomplished, but I never had a product that anyone could buy and share and own. And so we decided to do that. So it was very, very quick. We ended up getting a publishing deal with Harper One, which is the spiritual division of HarperCollins. And they do the Alchemist and the Four Agreements. And. And then we created this book. And if you see Inquire within, the branches mirror the roots. And if you turn it upside down, the roots become the branches and the branches become the roots. And then when you turn it to the side, it's lungs.

Oh, wow. Wow. You really. You really find meaning in everything. That's pretty incredible.

And the two halves of the book are Inhale and Exhale. So Inhale is the personal poems. It's kind of like my poetic hero's journey. And Exhale is the social and political stuff. And it's all of the stuff that I've basically brought together over my whole entire career. And there's a very specific conceptual through line to the book. And then we have 60 illustrations by a guy named Mustach. So it kind of has my style, but mixed with the Shel Silverstein esque type of a thing. And then we also did the audiobook where I'm like reading all of the poems for two and a half hours, basically so people can hear me poems whenever they want. And ultimately it's about if you change yourself, you change the world. And it's about going inside to find your answers. You know, in this culture that we're living in, if I don't know something, what do I do? I look on Google or, you know, I consult a coach or I ask a friend. And I think that that's inextricably tied in with consumerism, with looking outside of ourselves to find who we're supposed to be and what we're supposed to do. And in this modern world where there's just so much technology, it's very difficult to find a moment to hear your own internal voice. And so here's what I would say to anybody that's listening to this. If you have something that's going on right now, you know, you can certainly listen to a podcast, you can certainly buy a book, you can certainly go on YouTube. But you can also just take this time that we all have now. And if you have the time, it's a privilege, because it's a privilege to quarantine. If you have this time, you are blessed and just sit by yourself and wait for all that external noise to fall away so you can hear your own true voice rise to the surface. Because that's going to give you a purpose, it's going to give you your passion. And I hope that inquire within is a window for people to hear their own voice.

This is so beautiful and I love this is so timely, especially with what's going on in the world right now. Because it's so interesting that before the quarantine, before coronavirus, everybody would say that their biggest objection was time. You hear it all the time from people like, I don't have the time. I don't have the time. I don't have the time to learn this now. We've been gifted all this time. And just like you're saying, so many people, they're still turning for validation. Like it's not going, let's be on Facebook more. Let's see what everybody else's opinion is on social media. So it's like even with the time, people are still seeking this external validation is how I'm spending my time. Okay. Is what's happening in the world where what a gift that we really do have that space right now to go within and practice what you're talking about.

Yeah. The real question is, what are you going to do with your time? And by the way, that is a universal question. What are you gonna do with your time? It is a fucking miracle to be alive. It really is. And we take it for granted 99.9% of the time. If you wave some keys in front of a baby, they trip out, you know, or a toddler, they just. They're so amazed by everything. They see the light bouncing off of the keys and the sound and the shapes, and they're just mesmerized. And yet, look around you. Look how amazing the world is. All of the shapes, all of the colors, the way that the air hits your skin, you know, the next breath that you take into your lungs. I'm hearing a siren in the background. You know, life is happening. Infinite possibilities in every single moment. The way the taste is in my mouth. I mean, like, it is really an absolute privilege to be here. What are you going to do with your time?

Yeah. And like, you just gave the example of babies. I always. I think children and babies are hyper present. They really, truly live in the moment. I noticed that with pets, too. My dog is very in the moment. And it's interesting how we waste time. So many humans tend to waste time and not see the gifts that. As you're expressing them.

Yeah. I mean, well, babies are closer to creation. They're closer to the infinite possibility. They're closer to the empty space. And they don't have an identity yet to get in the way of them experiencing the world and experiencing the present moment. And dogs don't care, for the most part, like, what you think about them. You know, it's not like dogs often get their feelings hurt, right? No, they just, like, they come right back to the moment. You know, it's like that whole thing, like, Obama's dog doesn't know that. Like, Obama was the president.

Right.

He's just like, in the. Like, you just love, you know, and so that's why animals are so amazing, because they bring you into a meditative moment when you can really connect with them.

Yeah.

And one of the things that I was gonna say earlier about the celebrity culture that I hope is starting to fall apart in all of this is, you know, the technology isn't perfect anymore. You know, you watch the news and people are like, basically like, you know, live streaming from their house, and you see their libraries behind them, or, you know, there's stuff in the corner or their kids run into the room and you just kind of realize, wow, like, even the smartest people in the world, they're all schlubs like us, all of celebrities. Everyone's wearing pajamas. You know, everyone's trying to figure it out. No one knows what's going on here. And hopefully that leads us to more true, authentic connection, compassion and empathy. Because empathy is what the world needs most right now.

So do you. Personally, I'm curious about your habits because you're very grounded in this space and in the understanding of being present and creating and going internal. Do you find yourself having to block yourself from looking at external sources? Like, how much time do you scroll social media or look at news or what are you. How do you practice around that?

Well, I mean, I've had to promote for the book in the last two weeks. I mean, the book came out last week, and we've been number one in American literature and number one, two and three actually in American poetry for, like, past week or something like that, which is awesome and a real blessing. And we've gotten so many amazing, amazing responses from people, like really overwhelmingly positive, transformational messages. And I'm just, like, humbled and grateful for that. I think that once you make a piece of art, it's outside of you, so the art is more important than the artist. I actually have a line in the book about that and this. I want to have a life of its own now, and I want other people to be able to experience it however they're supposed to experience it, not how I intended it. And so that has been my main focus during most of the quarantine so far, has been promoting the book, which has been wonderful and also difficult because it's been very difficult to promote while I'm so keenly aware of how much pain and suffering is. Is in the country and in the world. But I do think that this book was medicine for me to write. And I hope that it's been and will be medicine for people to read. So it's been worth it.

I believe it. I believe it will be. It sounds really. I get just from even your sample, what you just shared right now, a few moments ago was incredible for that. How do you. But when you're promoting or you're online doing that, how do you protect yourself from taking in that outside information and then shifting your mood? Do you. Do you let yourself look at any of that? Do you stay away from that?

I'm curious, are you talking about the news? Are you talking about negative responses to.

Me or, you know, not about you in general, but about what's going on in the world. So how does that. Because you're very grounded in let's be present and appreciate life and look for gratitude and things. So you're very grounded in that. How do you protect yourself from outside sources influencing that? Do you. Do you not look at any of it? Do you allow.

No. I watch the news every night and I cry. I mean, when it's not just conjecture, you know, when it's actually, like, people sharing stories about. Look, all these people that are dying, they are not statistics.

Sure.

They are human beings that have families, dreams, hopes, you know, and they had to die alone and they couldn't even have a funeral with their families.

Yeah.

I mean, it is infuriating. And Trump, in my opinion. Not even in my opinion. Fuck my opinion. In fact, his lies killed people. So for me, you know, I don't protect myself from it. I stay informed. But I also know that I can't help anyone from my fears or my anxiety. So I try to work as much as I can throughout the day, do positive things, spend time with my amazing girlfriend and develop our relationship more and create. And then in the evening, I watch the news, and then I try to do something else that takes my mind off of it and I start the whole process again the next day.

Here's something you said that is absolutely brilliant, though, and I hope people really caught this, because this is how you live and this is what works for you and for many is you said, I watch the news every night and I cry. I feel it. And that's something I think people are not doing. They're not actually feeling it. They're seeing something. They're passing it along. They're creating this story around it. But I think, I believe that the actually letting yourself feel it is why you're able to move through it, because that's something you're gifted with, an ability to be able to truly feel and express that. Where I think so many people try to numb out, avoid, or create something different from that.

Yeah, I mean, it's way easier to do that in the short term, but in the long term, it's a disaster. So everyone has to make their own mind up about how they want to approach their life. And I don't have any judgment on other people's process. And I don't think that my process is right. It's just right for me, and it's only right for me right now. It might change, but emotion is only, like, energy.

Sure.

It's literally all it is. So if you trap it inside of yourself by distracting yourself or ignoring it, pretending it doesn't exist, eating, running to alcohol, doing all these things, it doesn't go anywhere.

I believe you have a strong gift to this. I watch. My daughter is a very emotional person. She has a good cry every single day. Every single day. And I'm envious of it. I tell her that when I was a child and I would cry, my dad would tease me. So I grew up believing emotions were bad. And I struggle with it. I struggle being able to release it. So with her, I'm very aware that this is healthy. And I tell her it's healthy that you cry every day because she's moving that energy out. It's. I think it's beautiful. And I'm envious that you even say you can do that when you. I love that.

I think it's the thing where there's like three people that died in the same family the other night.

Terrible.

I mean, I'm, like, looking at this and, you know, of course, I. You know, my girlfriend and I just. Yeah, it's. It's literally a heartbreaking.

Yeah.

Heartbreaking, unfathomable situation that's going on in this country and around the globe. The globe. But look, to your point, I think that's why vulnerability is strength.

Sure.

You know, and, you know, I'm sorry that your dad teased you for that, for example. And I know why the older generations did that, because life, in some ways, was harder back then. And so there's this idea of toughening everyone up, you know, but the thing is, is that it actually comes back to haunt us. Totally does on the other side. And that's one of the reasons that people are getting so many diseases or taking it out on other people in traffic. It's because when you trap the emotion inside of you, it has nowhere to go.

So true. I think pain in our bodies is from that.

What's that?

I think the pain in our bodies. A lot of pain. Is that so?

Yeah, I think a lot of it is, too. Yeah.

I believe that as someone who's struggled with back pain and had two surgeries, I'm convinced that that's where that came from.

Yeah. So, I mean. I mean, then I. Then I would, like, very humbly, like, offer that to you to find different outlets that you could do that would allow you to release emotion, whether that was meditation or whether that was body work or, you know, whether that was some sort of a practice, you know, or a spiritual coach. I even think that that's, by the way, why people go do ayahuasca ceremonies and. And shrooms. I also think there's an element of, like, spiritual partying or like, that it's become trendy. So it kind of annoys me when people are like ayahuasca, like, you know, on a Tuesday night in Los Feliz. But what I will say is that this is an ancient tradition.

Yeah.

And what it is, many people believe what it's doing is it's. It's exercising all of that old, unexpressed, pressed emotion.

And you're appreciating the choir with this. I, like, I am a huge fan. That's why what I did in Costa Rica. Huge fan of. That's how I came.

Oh, that's what you just did.

Yeah. That's how I figured it out. So, like, plant medicine, I'm a huge fan of in the right environment, like you said, not as a. A party on a Tuesday night, but plant medicine. Especially for somebody, in my opinion, especially for somebody who has trouble expressing emotions or letting their guard down around that, it's a way to get through. And for me, you know, that was not my first time with it, but it really did allow me to see that connection. And it took things to a different level for me.

Yeah. Look. And I think it's great, and I'm absolutely in support of it. I also think that, you know, when I meet people who've done it 100 times, whatever, I'm like, dude, you're. That's ridiculous. It's like you're actually just becoming addicted to. Then this thing being your crutch to release your emotion. You need to find other ways. We're so afraid of our pain in this society that we get so far away from it that we don't even have access to it. So these things that we're talking about, they're hopefully access points that allow us to open up a window to our pain so that we can release it. We. But you don't want to get addicted to eating that access point. You need to actually learn how to open it up so that once you get out all the old stuff, you learn how to do it in real time so that when you do feel emotion, you know that it's okay. And you move. You move it through you. And by the way, anger, too.

Totally.

Insecurity, too, you know, jealousy, too. All of that. This is all a part of the human experience. And to ignore it is to ignore being alive.

Yeah, it's really, really valuable information. You're Sharing this is really helpful. Where can people buy your book? Where can they get it right now?

So you can go to my website@inq.com. you can go to Amazon, you can go to Barnes and Noble online. Of course. We worked so hard to get it in all the independent bookstores, so hopefully they have it that people can still order digitally there. And then you can buy the audiobook right now. And the audiobook is really, really special. I mean, we worked a really long time to make sure that we were doing justice to the poetry. And I think something that's really world class.

My husband's been raving about it. He saw you on my interview schedule today. He's like, I just got his book. It's incredible.

That's amazing.

I'm excited to dive in and I hope everybody listens. Listening. It's the perfect time to be listening to him reading his book. If you. If you're not already following him, please do. He's so gifted. You've really opened my eyes to a lot today. Thank you so much for being here today.

Yeah, thank you for taking the time. I really appreciate it. And to everyone out there, just know wherever you are, I'm wishing you a lot of love. Stay safe and be kind to yourselves and others.

Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found it helpful. Pool so others can join in. And don't forget to hit that subscribe so you don't miss out on future shows. And if you would leave me a five star review. I appreciate those so much. I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you information that you find valuable. And come interact with me over on Instagram at Natalie Jill Fit. I read all the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day. Creating everything from nothing.