197: Reignite Your Relationship and Achieve Optimum Success with Dimple Thakrar

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback? On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst, learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. I am so excited about the chat that's about to happen. Hasn't even happened yet, but I already know it's going to be a good one because I've got my friend Dimple Thakra here and she's a newer friend of mine. She is known as the love coach. I met her on my trip in Costa Rica week one, and I liked her, got to know her initially, and then she did this massive interruption one day to me over breakfast, like, completely interrupted me. I don't even know what I was rambling on or saying, but she just looked me in the eyes and completely interrupted me in a way that really disrupted the way I viewed my relationship with my husband, the way I viewed my relationship with every man I've ever had in business and love and friendship. It was so powerful to me that it really, it literally stopped me in my tracks and changed me. And I really got to know her even more over this retreat to during this week and what she teaches, what I learned, the way she communicated it to me was just so incredible. I thought, I've got to have you on my podcast. I've got to know your story and I want to hear some of these tips from my audience. So, Dimple, thank you so much for being here today.

Oh, my God. It's an absolute privilege and honor to serve you and your audience today, Natalie. Thank you. What a gift and what fun we had in Costa Rica.

Yes. Yes.

So let's, let's.

I want to rewind a little bit. Like, what brought you, for starters, to this retreat in Costa Rica? Because we both didn't really. I didn't really fully know I was going into my brother, my brother. My husband. My husband said we are going to a couple's retreat in Costa Rica. And I'm like, okay. I didn't really ask any questions. Like, okay, I'm just thinking massage and sun and water. I didn't really know what I was getting into. How did you end up there?

So it's so interesting because I'm a firm believer in fate and universe and Destiny. And I literally met one of the co facilitators at an event that I was speaking at in New Jersey in January. And that event, it was for 1800 people. And he saw me on the stage and literally that evening he came up to me and he said, I was blown away by you. Your story, your energy, your. You must come and help facilitate this couples retreat in Costa Rica. Right? So this was January and the retreat was in February. So we're talking four weeks. And bearing in mind I live in England, I have two children, I have a husband, you know, and I have a business. And I am of the firm belief, and this is something that if I could gift your audience to start off with, if there's something inside of you that is saying, yes, don't worry about the logistics, there's a reason for it, just go with it. And I have always done that. And something inside of me said, I need to be in Costa Rica.

Wow, I'm glad you chose that because you blew me away that weekend. And just to set this up, this was not Dimples retreat. She was not the main facilitator of this. She. And where she interrupted me and where I learned the most was during a casual girls conversation when she interrupted me. And I thought, who is this woman that is coming head to head with me with this interruption right now? Who are you? Just to back up a bit, you're known as the love coach. But does that mean you had the perfect marriage forever? Like, talk to me about.

So funny. Honestly, I am doing this work, so I have been coaching for about 24, 25 years now. That hasn't always been in intimate relationships. And here's the thing, I do this work now because my relationship was on the brink of divorce. I've been married to my beautiful man now for we'll be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary in August the year year. And it wasn't always that way. Actually. On our 20th wedding anniversary, we had planned our divorce like a business strategy. We were booking our, like, we were literally setting everything up for our 25th wedding anniversary when our children were adults so that we wouldn't cause them any more pain, stupidly, because we were causing them so much pain because neither of us were happy and we didn't know how to make each other happy.

How are you causing them pain? Were you fighting all the time? Did they see this? What was. Tell me what it was like in this marriage because there's a lot of people listening right now that are thinking of divorce or on the brinks of It. But I want to. If you could set the stage a little bit. Like, what was actually happening in your marriage at that time.

Yeah. So the. The way that the marriage panned out. The first 10 years. The first, I would say 10 years. First year was great. And then my mum died. And then after that, something, a switch flicked in me, bearing in mind I was 22. My mum was 47, so it was all happened very fast, and something. A switch just flicked in my brain, and I started to resent my husband. I started to have. And when I look back now, I thought it was him.

Okay.

So we were fighting. We were arguing. There was months where we'd go where there was no sex. It was very hot and cold. Hot and cold. And that was the first 10 years. And then the following 10 years, we were kind of like roommates.

I know a lot of people can relate to that. Yeah. Where you're just kind of like. You get along, you're living together, but it's like. Feels loveless.

Yes. It's not so much loveless because there was definite love there. It feels passionless.

Okay.

So there's. There's this sex is still there, but it's very functional, mechanical. Yeah. Well, and not just that. It was kind of like fixing an itch, if I can only describe it, like, you know, and this. There was still so much love. Oh, my God. So. So that. That has been the foundation of our relationship. My husband loves me unconditionally. He is the most incredible man. And I was lost, and I blamed him.

So what were you lost about? Because that sounds like, okay, that's not so bad. And you have kids together. Why not just, you know, make that work at the time? Which. Spoiler alert. She did make it work, and that's what we're going to talk about. But what was. What was it that you were blaming him on? What was it that you were thinking you deserved or you needed or what was it that you felt you weren't getting?

I felt like I wasn't getting a man. I felt like I was getting somebody, a yes man who. Who always said yes and didn't, like, fight. You know, didn't have that, like, ram gonna stand up. And, like, I ended up making all the decisions. Like, even things like, let's go out for dinner. It'd be me that say, let's go out for dinner. And then he'd say, okay, where do you want to go? I'd have to make all. Well, you decide where. Well, no, if I decide, and it's the Wrong thing. And you don't want to eat that whole conversation, you know, over.

Totally.

And that day in, day out, and I was like, where's my man gone?

So it was very, like, almost like you were wearing the pants in the family. Like you were the masculine.

Yeah, okay.

I think there's a lot of people listening that. That can relate to that. And I know there's times in my life where I definitely have been in that role. And for me, it caused resentment. Like, why do I have to be the one doing all the things?

Yes. Huge resentment. Huge resentment. And I ended up blaming him for my pain.

So when you say pain, tell me what that means. Because there's people listening in a bad marriage because they're being abused or neglected or. That's not what was going on here. Was it more of like an entitlement feeling or like, looking back now or what? What do you think it was?

It was a bit of both. It was a bit of entitlement that, you know, I've married you and why aren't you making me happy? And then the other piece was, I feel like you're ignoring me all the time. So if you feel neglected.

So someone were to ask you when you were in that spot, what would make you happy? What would he need to do, do or be. To make you happy? What would your answer have been?

My answer would have been to prioritize me over his business.

Interesting.

Okay, yeah. Or anything else for that matter. I felt like I was the lowest priority, like, over his family, his parents, his business, the children, the dogs. Yeah.

Okay. All right, so then bring us to. And I know some of this I'm gonna. I'm gonna prompt along, but so bring us now to what happened because you joined Tony Robbins. Right. So I want to hear what happened there.

So I joined Tony Robbins platinum partnership. So five months, five or six months into my brand new business, I had no way of knowing how I was going to finance it. And we were on the brink of divorce. It's the first ever Tony event I've been to. I didn't even know who he was because in England, he's not as popular as he is in the US So I had no clue who he was, but I just was. Again, this is another moment in my life where my gut instinct sure said yes. So I joined. Then I rang my beautiful man up at midnight, and I said to him, I've done something crazy. Please don't shout at me. And he said, and he never shouts at me. It's not. And he Said to me, dimple, I have been traveling for 48 hours around the world. Can you please just tell me what it is and we will deal with it? So I said to him, this was lesson number one. I said to him, I've joined platinum partnership and it is US$75,000.

He said it real fast. Like that. Like that.

I vomited it.

Yeah.

And he said to me, I nearly cried. In fact, I did cry. He said to me, 20 years ago, you took a job so that I could grow my business, and you were the breadwinner so that I could grow my business and be the serial entrepreneur that I passionately love to do. He said, now it's time for us to invest in you and your business. And that's what I see.

They says, and you still, like, even him saying that, that didn't feel like. Like him prioritizing you, like you still wanted the divorce.

That was the first lesson. That was the first awakening. That was the first aha moment. But of course, think about it, Natalie. I've had, like 20 years of building all this evidence against how bad he is.

I want to just kind of frame this a little bit because I. I understand you. Because I. This is. Brooks is my second husband. So I. And I. My poor first husband. Like, I've apologized to him a million times now because I always blamed him until now. Now I get a lot of this. But I want to. Just for people listening, what were the things. What were the beliefs you had about your husband at the time? Like, if you were. If I was your girlfriend in the time, and you were ranting to me about, oh, if he would. Just this. What were the things that you were saying?

So the things that I'd be saying was like, my God, he's such a wuss. He. He's a pussy. Why can't he just get some balls? What is wrong with him? Like, why is he always saying yes to me? I want somebody with a bit of grit that actually will stand up to me.

You know, I used to say that to my ex husband, like, man up. Like, I can't believe that. I can't even believe I would say that.

Now I know I'd be like, what's wrong with you? Like, everybody else's man knows how to take care of his woman. What's wrong with you?

Okay, so you go to. You join us. You see this, like, glimmer of he's supporting you. He's being that person. It's his first sign, and then what happens?

So the reason I wanted to Join was that there was a. An event called Relationship that was only for the platinum partners. So we go along to this event now. Here's the second lesson. My husband started a new business. He actually took over a new business which he never normally does. He normally consults. He actually purchased a new business that was the family business. And the time of the relationship event was in Maui, one of my bucket list places. And that was exactly the same week that his brand new business had their biggest trade show in France. So he had to choose between 150 people and his brother and his father or me in Maui. So he had to decide between love and work. And he chose love.

Wow. And you still didn't see this as a gift at the time.

And at the time I was like, this event is either going to make or break us.

So it became like an expectation like this, like a black and white this. I'm doing this. So it was almost like it could be his fault again.

Yes.

No. So this is what I'm doing. I'm trying to fix our marriage. You're coming to this. Otherwise this. So. But you didn't absolutely at the time, what he was sacrificing.

Imagine, like how many wake up, like. And so this is why. This is what I do for my clients. I give them a wake up. I like literally wake them up. Because this is the process that I went through to wake me up.

Yes.

You know, so that was lesson number two.

Okay.

Lesson number three, which was the one that literally woke me up was, so we're at the event and day one goes beautifully. And day one, in the evening.

We.

Have the biggest fight. And the fight is all to do with him not being friendly enough with my friends because he was tired, because he's only travelled halfway around the world and him not being man enough and not having enough stamina to keep awake. Right. Yeah. Wow.

So you guys can't see the face that she's making right now, but she's making this face like, I can't believe I didn't even see this. Like, exactly the face, like, whoa. Like, slap my forehead. Wake up. Yeah.

So, so then day two, I say to him, that's it, we're divorced. I'm done. This is not working. You sit wherever the hell you want, but you're not sitting next to me. Yeah, right. 500 people. He doesn't know anybody. These are my friends now because I've been on two or three events with them. So I sit at the front, on the front row with my platinum partner friends. And I leave him to wherever the whole day goes by, he's trying to comfort me. I have a face on me like I've, like, swallowed a piece of shite. Like, it was just this stony face that how dare he put me through all this pain. How dare he not be the man that I'm represent? I should be. Have next to me this strong man.

Okay.

And so I can't believe I'm actually saying this. Every time I say it, it makes me literally feel sick to my stomach.

Okay.

That I behave like this. So anyway, half past ten at night, he spent all day trying to comfort me. Everybody's noticed. Even the coaches are like, what's wrong with you two? And half past ten at night, there's a speaker on this. On this, the Skype. Tony is sat at the back of the room. And I stand up front row and say to the speaker, brilliant. So you don't have to forgive one score for me. Right. And then I sat down. And you know when you feel the energy in the room suddenly drops.

Yep.

Like, oh, my God, I have said the wrong thing, because I felt this energy, this almighty energy from the back of the room come up and it was literally like, fee fi.

Oh, my gosh.

As Tony Robbins comes pounding down the aisle and he says, where is Dimple?

Whoa.

He bellowed. And I knew all the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I stood up and he was right in front of me. So just to put paint the picture a little bit, Tony Robbins is 6 foot 7. He's a giant. I'm 5 foot 2 and I'm small. I'm a little Indian lady. And he's towering over me with this horse head. That's all I can describe it as. It's like a horse head, right? And he starts to bellow at me with full strength. And there's people who have been platinum partners for 15 years have said they've never noticed that intensity with him before. Now, before I carry on, I do want to make this point really clear because it's really important. There was not one moment in that whole two hour intervention that I ever felt intimidated, scared, or threatened by Tony. His intention is so honorable. I felt completely safe. And here's why. Because I felt his love. I felt him doing the right thing. So I want to make that really clear. So. So this starts. And this is lesson number three.

Okay.

As this starts, within a minute of it starting and him screaming at me at all. From nowhere, my husband came round with his shoulders back, his chest out, and he is heading for Tony full steam ahead.

Wow. Like to protect you.

Like to protect me, right? He's full steam, like. And so my husband is 6 foot. He's not a small guy, but he's a slim guy compared to Tony Robbins, he looks tiny. But here is the drop the mic moment. I didn't notice him.

Oh my gosh. Wow.

Took four Tony Robbins to stop what he was doing with me, put his arm around at all and say, is this the. The brother you're talking about? Not forgiving. Oh my gosh, is this the brother? And he said, I effing love this brother. I've seen him face his courage and absolutely come here and be prepared to take me down for you. That was the. It was like a mind blowing moment. That was the moment I realized how much this beautiful man.

Wow.

And if I haven't seen this, what else?

Wow.

It still makes me tearful and upset to think that I spent 20 years not seeing how much he protects me and how every day he steps up, up. How every day he steps up to. Sorry, I'm just getting a bit.

Always.

Every day he steps up to protect me.

Wow.

So the very thing that I was after was right there in front of me and I didn't notice.

Yeah. Wow, wow, wow.

So that was the wake up call. And then the intervention went on for another. It was two hours in total. And I ended up going down on my hands and knees and begging for forgiveness. And that's where the awakening happened for me. And that's why I do this work. Because I know what it feels like to be my masculine and not. I know what it feels like to lose that masculine mask in my relationship and have my man rise so that if I take care of the boy, the man will rise.

So let's. That's so powerful, Dimple. So many things that you're saying there. And really, what a great, awesome example of just a massive interruption and how that can shift, shift us. Talk to listeners right now about what this all means. Masculine, feminine. Because when people hear masculine feminine, if they haven't really studied a lot into that, they just think of it goes to weird places. They get really girly girl and old fashioned and whatever. Break down what that means. And before you do that, just real quick, the interruption that Dimple gave me as I was sharing. And just to be really clear, Brooks and I are not having marital problems.

We.

We've had them in the past. We have not. We've been very solid for the last several years we've been together. For 10 years. And there's a lot of reasons I would attribute that to. But we're both very committed to always learning, evolving, and working. But even with all the work that we've done, I have that tendency to. To live in my masculine. Which she's going to explain in a minute with what you look like. Or it's. It's how you be. It's how you show up.

Yeah.

World. And Brooks has let that go in a lot of ways. Like, he doesn't. He doesn't stand up to me with that. And I was. I don't even remember what I was asking. I was asking you a question like, but what if. It was a blame question, but what if your husband. This. What if you're. And that's when she interrupted me and said, stop it right now. And she. She was loud, she was firm. And I do believe that that's what I needed. I needed. You needed to. You have to meet somebody in their masculine, in that power, with a powerful stand and voice, just the way Tony did to you.

Yes.

That you said, stop it right now. She goes, you are demasculating your man. That's what she said to me. And I'm like, wait, what? You were demasculating him? And then she went on. She gave me evidence first. She said, you interrupted him 30 times last night. I counted. I was like, okay. And. And she. She wouldn't let me speak for him. I mean, she just said, let. You're demasculating him. And this is what will happen if you don't stop. And it got my attention. So let's explain. What. What does that mean? What does that mean to demasculate your man? And what is a feminine and masculine difference in what?

Okay, so here's the piece. Masculine and feminine. When we talk about masculine and feminine, we're not talking about men and women. We're talking about energies. So what we're talking about is where you're most comfortable. So I'll give you an example just to illustrate, Natalie, the point. Before my awakening. And I can say this now because I have hindsight, so I can. I looked back and reflected on this. Before my awakening, I was probably operating at around about 80% masculine, 20% feminine energies. So what does that mean? Masculine energies is very sort of direct, is very driven, is very firm.

And.

Feminine energy is very much in your flow, going with the flow, not releasing control. And so I was operating in probably 80% masculine. So I was taking charge, making the decisions. And for me, that balance, for me Was not healthy. How did I know it was not healthy? Because there was plenty of pain in my body. When women operate in their inauthentic masculine for too long, they produce a high level of testosterone.

Now, just because I want to clarify right now you are not saying, and you don't believe that having masculine energy is bad. Like, you actually feel it's powerful in business and in negotiating, and that's what a lot of women succeeded. But you're talking specifically about how we show up in our relationships with men.

Yeah. And I can explain why in a moment. I'll explain the shift and the difference between work and play. So just to illustrate the point, I was actually having severe neck pain because I was operating too often in my inauthentic balance in my masculine. So what does that mean? I was effective at work and I was not switching it off when I got home. So I was modeling masculine role models at work what I thought was successful. Yeah, but it wasn't.

In your household, you're like managing your household in your relationship, like it's your business.

Exactly. And actually in my business as well, I was operating inauthentic to me, because we don't have to do it the way men do it necessarily. We can have superb feminine role models that are successful in business.

So how does a woman. I have so many questions right now, but one, how does a woman know that they're operating this way? Because most, a lot of women listening would be the way I would have responded a few years ago. I would have said, well, that's antiquated. That's outdated. Like, what do you mean? I don't want to go back to. To I'm not going to act or pretend like, this is what makes me successful. Like, they would get very defensive. So how do they know that this is actually an issue and a thing and that they should want to fix this?

So the first piece is getting defensive.

Yeah, I live there. Yeah.

Interestingly enough, the first piece is getting defensive because if you're not prepared to grow and hear other people's opinions, you are operating in a place that is a bit inauthentic for you. Because actually, if you're really happy with where you're at, you wouldn't have to defend yourself.

Sure.

You'd be like, okay, great. That's your opinion.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, when someone crazy talks to you, you're just like, okay, thanks.

Yeah, this is, you know, but. But the fact that you're that way. And the second piece is, if you have a world class outstanding relationship that you are so incredibly happy with, then great, you're both operating at the levels you need to be. But if there's something in your heart that's telling you that you have this longing or this resentment or guilt or unhappiness, then I would always question, who are you blaming for that? What story are you telling? I was blaming Atul the whole time. And the story I was telling was that he's not man enough.

Yeah. So what Dimple taught me, which I didn't understand before, is that if a female lives in her masculine, that you've got to create polarity. So what will happen is even a masculine man, if the female is acting too masculine, they will almost roll down. They will almost. And they will start operating from their feminine, which create. And that's the only way a relationship starts to sort of work. I mean, it doesn't work in the ideal form, but it'll start to work. Because you can't have two people operating in the masculine.

No. And this is what happens in a lot of long term marriages and it's what happened with ours. I can literally pinpoint what happened. So I rose in my masculine in the first 10 years at all remained in his masculine because there wasn't the polarity. We fought, there was a lot of fighting, but very little intimacy because opposites attract, you know, so two, two masculine energies isn't going to create that passion. So the number one thing that a man desires in a relationship and what is his goal is to keep his woman happy. How many times have you heard your man said I can't keep, I can't make you happy or all I want to do is keep you happy. I can't seem to make that is because it's the truth. That's all he wants. So what happens in a lot of relationships and what happened in mine in the, in the second decade was I because didn't know I was in my masculine in my relationship a lot of the time he dropped into his feminine so that there was some polarity, but the polarity was inauthentic because both of us, my happy levels is when I'm about 80% feminine and 20% masculine. Because even, even as a mother, I need to get stuff done. So sometimes I have to be directive and sometimes I have to make decisions. But I don't like to be in that place all the time. And I can actually run my business successfully and I am more powerful in my feminine than I am in my masculine. We actually can influence a lot more in our masculine than we can in our feminine. And so what happened was the polarity was there again, but it was inauthentic. So with that pattern interrupt that Tony did, it dropped me, it woke me up. He matched my masculine. So imagine how intense my masculine was and it allowed me to go back into my comfortable, pain free feminine. My neck pain went. I didn't have to have any physio, I didn't have to have any acupuncture, nothing. And what happened was. Now here's the piece. In order for you to feel safe in your feminine, your man has to rise in the masculine. And the masculine is all about protecting. It's all about making you feel safe. And they do that through taking charge and taking the lead.

Okay.

So sometimes ladies, it will feel like you're gonna have a fight with them because it feels like they're making all the decisions. But actually, here's the gift. I have learned through letting go of my masculine in my relationship that actually sometimes the path that he takes me down is far sexier, exciting, more enriching than I could ever dreamt of. And I learned so much more. And it's fun.

So can you. And I just pulled up my notes from when you're in Costa Rica. And I had taken a whole note. And so I don't. And I apologize if this didn't come from you. And this was different conversations, but I want to, I want to. This was really important to me. Um, this was a pivotal moment for me. Was it you that was telling me about the different Cs and that like the, the different things that we do and the Cs and that the use.

Of all, all the facilitators spoke about it. So I can recap them.

So that, so that was really pivotal for me. You. She mentioned that there are three specific ways that, that we demasculate.

Yes.

Men. And she said them. I was like shrinking in my seat because I'm like, oh my God, I do that to Brooks every day.

Yeah. So the three things are we coach them. So that is telling them how to do things. And as women, we do this with women all the time because we think we're helping.

Sure.

How it lands for a man is like you stabbing him in the heart. Because what that tells him is if you can't trust him to do this small task, then you can't trust him.

Like the examples that were coming up for me, like Brooks would do the dishwasher and I would be like telling him why he's doing it wrong.

Yeah.

As simple as that, like, just be grateful that he's doing the dishes. Like.

Yes.

It doesn't matter who's right or wrong.

Yeah.

Now, what I noticed when you went through these Cs, and I know you're going to share the other two is I also am bugged by when someone does the Cs to me. And I'm wondering if that's because I have a lot of. In my masculine.

It's habit. And also it's great that you're asking yourself that question. It's great because there's always room to grow. So I find when I'm in my masculine and this is my belief that these things bother me.

Yeah.

When I'm in my feminine and I'm in my comfortable zone, I don't actually hear them.

Got it. Okay. So I've got some work to do. So coaching was one. What were the other two?

So closing is another one. Closing is when you say things like I'm fine. When you say to your man in that tone, I'm fine.

Crap. I do that all the time. Pimple, dagnabbit.

And so what that does to a man is we all know that you're not fine. Right. We know that he knows it's manipulative.

It is manipulative.

It's controlling. It's manipulative. And it's not the truth. And he really wants to help you. And he can't help you and protect you if you're not honest.

Okay, I guess I'll stop saying that. Okay. And what was the third.

And then the third one is criticizing and interrupting. Criticizing, interrupting, go hand in hand where. And I've seen women do this in almost. It's become a joke for them where they'll say, oh, he's an idiot. At that. Of course he doesn't get it right. Or, you know, and. Or interrupt speak for him.

So I never did it like that. Where I would say like, oh, he's an idiot. But where you called me fourth, which was interesting because we were that night at the hot tub and you said 30 times. I remember specifically what was happening. You asked Brooks what he does for work and he paused too long on how he was answering. So I jumped in and said what he does. And then as he. You asked him something about his strengths and as he started sharing that, I elaborated on it. So what. Where I thought I was helping and adding to the conversation. What I didn't realize then is that was falling into all those categories. Like I was interrupting. I was like all of that where when I really looked at it, like, why did I need to do that? Why? What did it matter? Like, why do I have to say? He didn't ask for. If he had said to me, hey, how would you describe it? That would have been different.

Yes, that's right.

Things like, I would have gotten. I initially got defensive, like, well, that wasn't doing anything wrong. I'm good at explaining it. But I got. When she said it to me. When you said it to me.

Yes.

How that can make someone feel.

And I'm really grateful that you received it and the intention that it was meant. Because there was a question. I remember it disp in the hot tub. And I asked Brooke and I kept asking him questions and you kept answering. And I then continually. Because I could see on his face he was getting frustrated because he's like, oh, here we go. Like, there was almost a defeat and you weren't aware of it. It wasn't your fault. And there was a question on what is his passion? And before he could even answer, you said, cars.

I did. I almost just did it right now.

And you do it with love. It's not that, but it's about knowing how it lands for them. A man will pause for a moment because he's locating the file. His brain doesn't work in the same way as a woman's. A woman can access every 10 files at once. A man has to access the file because he's going to give you his 100% answer. He's not going to give you like a distracted answer that a woman can do with that. We're just. Our brains are different.

So I wrote these literally in my phone notes. I'm not perfect at them, but I release. And what Dimple shared with me is the first step is just being aware. So being aware can start to shift it a little bit. So then there was the yous. And these were really cool too. And this explained a lot to me. Let's go over those. What were those for? Women.

The three used for women. So. So the three years for women are being unheard. So how many times you say you're not listening unseen? So that's all about. How often do women want attention? All the effing time. And if they don't get those two, this is the biggie. They feel unsafe.

Yeah. And that was pivotal for me because I realized it. If I feel safe, heard and seen, then my. I do live in my feminine.

Yes.

The masculine doesn't need to show up. And when I'm feeling safe, heard and seen By Brooks. I'm way less likely to criticize Coach, control all those things.

Yes. And the opposite as well.

Yes.

When. When we don't do the three C's, criticize, coach and close, they feel like manning up because those three Cs are literally, like, ripping their family jewels from them.

Yeah.

This is cool.

So what would you say to someone listening right now that's like, this just feels dated and I want to be me. Like, what would you say to that?

I would say if you're happy in your relationship and your. And your husband is happy and it feels dated, then that's cool. Do what makes you happy, because this is the ultimate aim, is to have outstanding relationships. I shared with you earlier, Natalie, about my mission is to halve the divorce rates. Why? Because I don't believe that every marriage that occurs, I don't believe that half of them should fail. I think that there are some marriages that shouldn't have ever happened.

Yeah.

I truly believe that. But there was some data to suggest that of the people that got divorced, 70% of them said if they had the right tools and strategies, they could have saved their marriages. If they had the right tools and strategies for communicating, for understanding the opposite sex, understanding the language of the opposite sex, they would have saved their marriage. My vision is to have amazing role models so that our children don't think it's the norm to get divorced. You know, for me, having those. And I was saying to you, or sharing to you that vision that, you know, in the street, sometimes you see an old, dear couple being really affectionate, cuddling and kissing, and they're in their 80s, and you think it's really cute, and you notice it because it's so unusual. I want that to be the norm.

Yeah.

So that. And this is why this work is so important, raising people's awareness. And ultimately, the biggest gift, if I can give your audience, is even if nothing else, you start raising your awareness, too. How often am I expecting in my relationship as opposed to appreciating.

Yeah.

Masculine and feminine. So that. That story you just. That example you just gave with the dishwasher, you were expecting it to be done your way. However, if you'd have switched it to appreciating. Wow, he's doing the dishwasher. Thank you.

Totally. Well, the funny thing is about all that, he actually does it better than me. Like, he has all night organized, and. And I just think it takes forever. So I. To me, I just throw them all in there. So it's not that his way is not Better, like, but that's what I, that's what I started realizing is like, why, what is my need to control things? Like, why do I have to tell him how it needs to be done? Wow, this is okay now if someone's listening and they're like, okay, this is really resonating with me. This is landing. I'm seeing how I'm doing this. I want to fix my relationship. Because by the way, listen up, ladies. If you are single or you just seem like you can't find a good man, I'm telling you, this is. Is probably what's going on. This with so many friends as they start to really jump in and learn more about the feminine and masculine power. If you think that you can't find a good man, I guarantee there's something around this going on.

I have, I have coached so many successful entrepreneurial women and men who have repeatedly had the same patterns over and over again. And they come to me and they say, dimple, what is wrong? My picker is off. I keep picking the wrong people and I give them the wake up call and I'm gifting that to your audience to say, take a look in the mirror.

Yeah, yeah. So if that's them and they're listening and they're like, okay, I'm really ready to embrace this. Where do they start? What do you want them? What do they do?

So what they need to do is start looking at themselves. I have loads of free videos, free content on my Instagram. Have a look at that. The Love Coach Dimple. I have also, and I haven't given this away before, but it's a special gift for your audience. I'm 100% confident that this is going to absolutely give them a new perspective because like you said, Natalie, the first piece is awareness and that's a gift for everyone. It's a Dimple.

I love that. That's so awesome. Thank you, Dimple. Where can they find you on Instagram, by the way? What is your. Say it again. It's the Love Coach.

So the Love Coach Dimple.

The Love Coach Dimple. And is that. Are you. Any other platforms you're on? Where. Yeah, okay.

I'm absolutely. I have a website called dimple.love.

Okay, that's it.

And also I am on Facebook, so Dimple Thakra. And I'm also Dimple Love on there. I have two pages and I have a group, the Love Tribe. So you can catch me on there as well. So. But the main place is my webpage because that's got all my social media kind of links and it's just Dimple love.

I love it. Thank you so much Dimple.

Thank you so much. And listen guys, you are not alone. You are not the first, you'll not be the last and we've all been there and the greatest gift I can give you today is wake up.

Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found it helpful so others can join in. And don't forget to hit that subscribe so you don't miss out on future shows. And if you would leave me a five star review. I appreciate those so much. I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you information that you find valuable and come interact with me over on Instagram at Natalie Jill Fit. I read all the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day Creating everything from nothing.

Sat.