198: Utilizing Tapping to Defeat Anxiety with Kyle Brown

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or we've had a big setback? On this podcast, I'll be talking to some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on this planet who at their worst learned how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up and creating everything from nothing. Kyle Brown was once known for being 5% body fat and a year round anatomy chart. Now what's wrong with that, you ask? Well, that was his whole identity. In fact, he would preach that your body is everything and that it is all about mind over matter. Now, it wasn't until he himself found himself literally in a code blue at the hospital with the checks that X ray that was super disturbing that Kyle's life changed. Now today, Kyle Brown empowers conscious entrepreneurs to break down barriers in order to master life. This is a process he calls rapid harmony. World changers, top CEOs, Fortune 500 companies, professional athletes and countless celebrities have all worked with Kyle to develop a sustainable, fit, happy, peaceful and aligned and balanced lifestyle. Join in today and learn exactly how Kyle Brown leveled up and created everything from nothing. Today I've got my friend Kyle Brown on. We've known each other from the fitness space on and off for years. He's also local in San Diego to me. But what really got my attention with him was he right now helps people align mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. He's not just a trainer and I did a session with him recently on tapping for anxiety and for pain and it was quite fascinating. So I wanted to dig into Kyle's story because Kyle, first of all, thank you for being here today.

Thank you, thanks for having me. Much appreciated.

And I'm assuming that even though now you help people align mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally, that's not always who you were, you are not always aligned that way. So take me back, tell me who you were before all of that.

Awesome. Well first off, much appreciated for having me on today and I am excited to help anybody out who is really looking to uplevel their own path. But for myself, I was way too much into the fitness nutrition side like fully out of balance. Personally I got into health and fitness for some unique reasons. As a really little kid it wasn't to get super like from fat to fit story, it was a trying to fit in. I felt like an alien growing up in a human body and Human experience. And then I realized I probably am in many ways.

Okay.

And so I used fitness as a way to really build self confidence and get in touch with my body and it became a huge part of my self identity.

So that's interesting that you said that because I've not actually interviewed a guy that said that, but that's very common with females that they're doing it either to control their weight or to fit in socially that it becomes like this obsession. But I haven't really had a guy share that. So tell me what that was that more of like, like were you a smaller guy and you wanted to look more powerful or what was the conversation you were having?

I needed an outlet for just not feeling aligned. When I look back at it, I had aggression, I couldn't, I didn't feel connected to people around me, I didn't feel like everybody else. So I really needed an outlet. So I would lift weights like crazy. And it was like it wasn't the end result of if I change my body, therefore I'll feel like I fit in. It was like I have all this energy that just isn't in alignment with everybody else and I need an outlet. So I would lift weight.

What's wrong with that though? What's wrong with. Because that would be, I would think that would be good, like get channel that energy out in that exercise.

So there was nothing wrong with it. It's a totally beautiful thing until it becomes the most important thing. When you get to a point where for me career wise, my identity was, oh, you're the guy who shredded year round. It's, it's far beyond the substance of the individual. And when you then start to take your self worth and your identity based on your body rather than looking at the depths of your self worth, far beyond the physical being, that, that's to me the goal. And for me it was just a big moment that just shifted everything.

So, so what happened there? Because I can relate to this because I built a whole business around fitness and looking a certain way and then the injuries start kicking in and you start questioning everything. So was it an injury for you or what made you realize this was a problem?

So it was actually a moment where for me I would always preach that the idea is it's about being fit year round and healthy around and your body is, you know, your health is your wealth. But I would neglect the other aspects of health. Like I didn't really think about the emotional health, I thought about mindset, but not the depths of mental health. And not the depths of like, looking beyond, just the physical. So what happened to me was a moment where I tried using mind over matter, where I got really sick. I had severe pneumonia. It was back in 2000 or back last January. And, oh, yeah, huge. I've been going through a pretty deep spiritual personal development journey for about seven, eight years already. But I had only read books, I'd only listened to audios. I'd only studied and pondered. But the truth is, always experiential is the master when it comes to this stuff. And it's usually not a fun, pretty process. It's, you know, I'm definitely pro utilization of plant medicine, but sometimes it takes the world really kicking you on your butt to wake you up. And the heaviest level. And for me, it was a moment of you can be here or you cannot. It's your choice. Wow, Some crazy stuff.

You can be here or not. It's your choice. So this is. Is this when you were sick? You sort of felt that?

Oh, yeah. So I ended up getting severe pneumonia where I didn't realize I was sick. I said, I've got a temp, big deal. But mind over matter, I'm fine, I can push through it. I don't get sick at all. I hadn't been sick in five, six years, even with a common cold. And all of a sudden I get this feeling that's just a little off, my temp is up. And I was just like, all right, I'll take some stuff and I'll push right through. It took all the different natural things, kind of kept moving. And it lasted 14 days of high temps. And I have a lot of relatives who are doctors who are kind of monitoring this, and they just couldn't understand the levels of where I was at. And finally I went in for a chest X ray. And so I go in for the chest X ray. And it was like a scene out of Gray's Anatomy. They bring me in, they put me on oxygen, they did the chest X ray, and all of a sudden they call code blue emergency.

Whoa.

Looking over at them like.

Like you're alive and awake.

And you're saying, who is this? Who is this for? And they're like, you. And the other doctor comes in and is like, oh. He's like, whose X ray is that? And you go, his. And so they rushed me over, they put 2 liters of fluids into me and dumped. And I'm so big on. I don't take any allopathic medicines unless it's an emergency. Well, this was the emergency and they gave me every antibiotic ever created on this planet. Wow. Dumped it in. And I was actually in critical condition and spent a few days in the ICU fighting to choose to be here.

Wow. So, gosh, that's so crazy. So you were sick. You were almost like. It was almost like you were ignoring it. Like, I'm not sick. I'm not sick. My husband does that. Like, I'll be like, you have a fever. I'd be like, I'm not sick. I don't want it in my subconscious. But, like, there's a. There's a point where you have to, like, actually get some help or take ownership of, okay, maybe I actually am sick or maybe I need help. So that's what was happening with. You were, like, in denial about it.

Yeah, I was in total masculine energy denial. Just mind over matter. Dedicated and determined. Keep my hustle going. I can push through this. I can push through anything. I don't get sick. If I'm going to be sick, big deal. I'll be fine. I'll get right through it and it'll go away.

Wow. And I think a lot of guys do that. They do. I think a lot do. What would you. Why do you think that is? Why did they do that?

I think a lot of why we do that is because of roles growing up that we fit. We feel like we need to be the superhero. We need to be the one who has everything figured out that others look to that are going to have all the answers. And then I moved into a coaching training role, was doing the whole celeb training thing for years. And people looked at me like, well, this guy, he's doing TV stuff. He must really have all the answers. So you start to fall victim to it. And it's not just like a total ego thing that you think you're better than anyone, but you're like, well, I've got this all figured out. And usually when you think you have it all figured out is when you get the big wake up call that everything is fluid, it's always changing.

Yeah. So it's interesting because it's. You said for seven or eight years before this happened, you were on this a little bit of a path anyway, so you must have had something in you that knew that you were meant for more. There was something else there because you were apparently drawn to these books or learning or reading. So what was that? Was that something somebody was telling you or were you. Were you feeling called to that? What was coming up for you that you gravitated towards that stuff.

So I was there. I left and suppressed there and then I came back. So 12 years old on my 12th birthday. My aunt who's studied everything from she's a Hawaiian shaman to Jinsen Jitsu to NLP to energy work and Reiki, she's been doing all this stuff forever. She's in her, in her early 80s. So on my 12th birthday, she took me to a metaphysical store to pick out my spirit animal cards. And I got really into that stuff and very aligned with it. Then as I started to get into late teens, early 20s, I just suppressed that whole side of me and just focused fully on being the athlete. I mean, in high school I wore moccasins around school and tie dyed overalls. So I was always a little bit out there, more artistic. But then I just went full masculine and I just suppressed it. And then I transformed that into full entrepreneurship.

It's so funny because I think it becomes easier for people. Like it's almost easier just to fit in and be the athlete because it's easier. You don't have to explain yourself. You could just be that person. And when you are the artistic one or the one that thinks outside it's, people are intrigued by it and want to learn. But you're also setting yourself up to be picked on or made fun of as a kid. So I can see where that happens, where that divide starts to happen with kids completely.

I think what happens is even if you are cool with a little bit of uniqueness, there's a level and a magnitude that you can handle as a kid. Right. You may say I'm different, I'm unique, but if you really look at teenage groups, I'm different, I'm unique means my group of friends are different than somebody else's group of friends. Right? You have the gossip. Yeah. You have the goss who all said that they look different, but they all wear the same black eyeliner and black clothes and everybody still fit into some form of a group. But if you don't really feel very human, so to speak, and you don't feel really aligned with what's going on, then you, you have to figure out, well, I have to, I have to find some ways to really be relatable. And we're, we're connected animals.

So, okay, you've said something several times that I wrote down. You said, I don't feel really human. Tell me what that means.

Ah, yeah, like, are you an alien?

What does that mean?

I know how it sounds as it comes out of my mouth and kind.

Of we all are human. So when you say I don't feel very human, what does that mean? Like, I don't feel very dog because I'm not a dog.

True, true, true. And if, and if we're looking through, through the, through the left brain, we typically sit back and say, okay, well, we all are this, but we all are also unique versions of humans. But for me, I think it was maybe at the younger age I realized that I am human temporarily. Right?

Okay.

Spiritual being having a human experience. So if we take that concept that we hear, but we don't gloss over it, we say, wait a minute, I am a spiritual being having a human experience. Then if you don't feel normal and comfortable in this human experience, you want to find ways to ground yourself. And as I sat back and reflected on this, this wasn't insight I had, you know, pre full frontal lobe development of hitting 20 years old. But this is stuff that, you know, really meditated on. I think a lot of my connection to fitness and sports, everything like that, was to feel into my muscles, to feel into my body, feel into the physical. Now it did become a career path, but if I step away from it, I think it was much more ways to like, I wanted to feel present.

Yeah, Gosh, that's. I can relate so much to, to everything you're saying here. And I know we connected around this, these topics before, so. But I can relate too, because I don't think I connected the dots on all this. And I'm 48 now. Until probably a year ago. Yeah, same. But it had to. And I went through a similar path. So what do you want? There's a lot of people living in old Kyle. There's a lot of people stuck in. Maybe it's the physical, like I have to look a certain way, but maybe it's just in their career or they have some people get lost in it as a parent, you know, like I. This is my only role. Or when your whole life, identity, everything is attached to this identity or this role, what does that do to a person?

Anything that gets thrown out of alignment creates issues. And the key is if you can set the foundation around soul alignment, which basically says, all right, I'm going to look at every facet of health, fitness, wellness, my life, my family, my relationships, my business, Everything that I do and I experience, not as a pie chart or to do list or checklist. I like the spiderweb analogy where everything kind of pulls and interrelates.

Okay.

It eliminates the idea of compartmentalizing things, right? It's like, I did my work check. I did my this check. I'm this check. Oh, well, this particular piece is low, but that's okay. And a lot of people do that with fitness. They say, well, right now I am focused on my fitness. You can't neglect other facets of your life to focus on going hyper in one, and those will just stay on a pause button. Right. Just like you can't do it with your business and neglect your fitness, and they stay on a pause button. Everything works interchangeably. They all work intertwined, and things are either growing or dying. There is no maintenance stage. There's no pause button stage. So if you're working, like, obsessively on your physique, like I did when I was a competitive bodybuilder, or I did with these things, the other facets of your life start to fade away. And a lot of times you just become very selfish. Right?

Yeah.

It's like, enough about you. Let me tell you more about me.

I think it's the right intentions, though, because I believe every crutch, addiction, crutch is a way of numbing out and feeling connected and loved. Like, I believe that. So whether somebody turns to alcohol or drugs or diving into work or obsessive about their body, I think it is the right intention. It's to give purpose. It's to give meaning. It might not be the ideal way, but I believe, and I can speak for myself, I would. I would feel. I used to say I was bored. Like, I would be bored. I had to stay busy. But now I know that's not boredom. It was more, I didn't want to be with my feelings. I didn't want to sit and have to be with my feelings. So if I stayed busy, if I stayed focused on my workouts, if I stayed focused on my business, then I didn't have to be feeling. So I'm wondering if that resonates with you at all, because I do look at people that get extreme into anything as a way to numb out and not have to feel.

I think you completely nailed it. They don't have to feel. They don't have to look within. They just have to focus on go, go, go, go, go. Experience, experience, experience. It's. It's. It's forward thinking versus present thinking and present experiencing. And I think that's an okay stepping stone. Like, it's okay to utilize that as a catalyst. If you look at the idea of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we go food, clothing, shelter first before we ever even Start thinking about self actualization, right? You can't take somebody who's living homeless on the streets, shivering to death, hasn't eaten a meal in three days and said, hey, you know, I've got this philosophy book you should read. How about a sandwich? Oh no, no, I can't give you a sandwich. It has to be an organic salad, right? You've got to meet people where they're at. So as a catalyst, that was a great, great catalyst for me. It was a great catalyst for you. But then there becomes a next level in the evolution where you can sit back and say, all right, how can I stop looking at my feelings as a sign of weakness? And can I look at all of my feelings as a sign of strength?

That's so good, Kyle. Do you still fight? I still fight it. Like I still go to, I'm bored, I gotta stay busy, gotta be, gotta be busy. And then I have to remind myself, no, like what am I avoiding? Like what am I not wanting to feel? What am I not wanting to be with? Like, it's a challenge. Do you experience that?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely. I say that both myself and most of the people that I surround myself with I call a personality types. So yeah, it's a complete challenge. And then add into that some practicality. I'm a parent, I've got two kids, one's a type 1 diabetic, so that's like having three kids. I've got two puppies a year and younger, then I'm married. So if you throw in a lot of this practicality with running your businesses, you've got a lot of stuff to juggle. It's a lot easier to go sit off in a cave and meditate and just say ohm, and this is great. Or if you're a single male or female living in an apartment, you're like, I'm just shutting off the world for the next three hours for self care, right? If I went right now, the idea that I'm even stepping away for an hour and having silence in my so called soundproof office for an interview is just remarkable if it actually goes through. So everyone has to be met where they're at and find the practicality. And I think that the true putting your money where your mouth is with any one of these types of transformative experiences and up leveling your life is like, okay, how can you make that work in this real world that we're living in right now?

And how do you. Because like a guy. And I'm sharing about myself because I can relate so much here. I struggle with this. I mean, I struggle with my mind goes to boredom, stay busy or go to sleep, like go to sleep. And I go to sleep early, like to avoid. So I fight with this. So I would love to know, like some tools because. And before you even get into the tools, why is this important? Because what is the danger in living the other way?

Oh, well, the foundation of everything is more damaging to your body than anything. More damaging to your friendships, more damaging to your lifestyle is stress. It is such a necessary tool, but it is actually the biggest thing that keeps you from being who you truly are. Yeah, stress is just a fancy word for fear. It is definitely. You won't hear many guys ever say, I'm afraid. They'll say I'm stressed and they'll wear it like a badge of honor and I was just as guilty. But stress is the ultimate thing that needs to be overcome. Because when you get into a state of stress, you can't function, you can't be your true self. Right. Because you're not being your true self. Stress means I'm under attack, I'm in danger and things can come to an end right now. So all the blood goes to the places that it needs to go to keep you totally focused on fight or flight. Running away, kicking someone, punching somebody, or keeps you on the total narrow. If you can sit back and say, all right, how can I get out of this? Stress rate using words like I'm bored are usually another form of stress. It means I'm just not comfortable in my own skin or in this present moment. So one of the greatest tools that I found was eft, emotional freedom techniques, tapping. And I found that back in 2006, I went in for my 10 year high school reunion back to Chicago to Dr. Mercola's practice. And I went in as a patient as I was setting up my own clinical nutrition business at the time. Time I want to see what this guy was doing because I knew he had the top naturopathic or natural health website at the time. And I sat down with this woman and I was pretty confident in my alpha state. I knew I was going to get all my blood work and everything done, that everything was going to be remarkable. My food was there. I was actually almost looking for the pat on the back as I went through it. They sit me down and she sits there with this silly thing where she takes her fingers and she's tapping on her face, talking about loving yourself. And I was looking at her like, well, this is a Little strange and alien and silly. But wait, it's working. I feel relaxed. I feel like I just smoked a joint. This is pretty awesome. How crazy is this? And so I started digging into it a little bit and incorporating it into my personal experience and in my practice. And then since then, especially after this, we'll call it near death experience. It's become paramount to my foundation of my entire business, especially with these a personality types. And I really think God, the universe, source whatever you want to call it, has the most hilarious sense of humor. And for me, I sat back and I looked at what's going on in life and I said, everything that I've done, I've had to earn. Like, I felt like I was going off to war. I had to sculpt my body by training my butt off. And I wasn't genetically gifted for this. As a 6 foot, thin, white Jewish guy who looks like Bob Saget, I was not built for this sport whatsoever. So I just had to hustle and do biochemical stuff and crush it and nutrition and training. But with tapping, it was like, all right, I know you think that everything is hard work pays off, but what if flow and ease and letting go pays off just as much if not more? And tapping is really that you're feeling into it and you're letting it go. And I also said, well, everything is about long term results. Stop looking for the quick fix. All you pill poppers out there, wait, I feel better right now from this. That's crazy. One time. Yeah, and it's been pretty beautiful.

Would you say that tapping gives the same outcome as a deep meditation? Like, is there more than one way to get. There is. And why tapping versus doing meditation or being part of your. Like some people get this from just being really involved in their religion or like there's different methods to get there. Why tapping?

Oh, great question. So I do all of the above, but for different purposes. So for me to get a different perspective, that's where I find meditation and comedy, right? Either watching stand up or even doing standup stuff, I find that that is a great way to step out of body, so to speak, float above the world, look down on it and say this stuff that I'm freaking out about, it's actually kind of funny or not that important or not what really matters. So that is what I get when I do any type of meditative work. When you do comedy, when you watch comedies, you just stop taking stuff so seriously. And it's beautiful. On the other side, what tapping does is tapping is basically A combination of ancient Chinese acupressure. So you get the benefits of acupuncture if you're afraid of needles like I am, which is awesome. And cognitive behavioral therapy. So what the tapping does, especially if you take it in a more clinical way, like I like to, is you start looking at root causes. Just like with naturopathic medicine versus allopathic medicine, you dig into the root emotional causes of why are you feeling a particular way, where did this stem from? And why are you so confused that you don't realize how absolutely awesome you are? That's the gist of it. We're all absolutely amazing beings, but we get so stuck in our own way that we believe a lot of these stories either consciously or subconsciously that others have told us based on our experiences. So with tapping, you know, I had a guy just a little bit ago, I won't get into too much details on his personal stuff, but I'll get more into the details on just the incredible things you can do with tapping. Is this client that I just dealt with last week, we were looking at different things related to sexual trauma that he had been through. And how is that? Basically if it's a choose your own adventure or even not choose and have forced on you other aspects of your own adventure, how did that help transform him into what he does now, which he's actually, you know, totally involved in energy work and bottom line is he looked at stuff related to, you know, moments. I said, you know, go back to the first moment that pops in your head where you felt this particular way and he gets this vivid memory at four and a half of just some really, we'll just call it horrible trauma where somebody then saw what was going on, freaked out, you know, shut her door, locked the door and didn't come to his rescue, never called the cops, never did anything.

Wow.

So within, I mean, 10 minutes of meeting this guy and three minutes of tapping, we're at this moment like, and we're bringing it to the present. And what we're doing is we're taking away the charge. And by taking away the charge, you can then fast forward all the way to today and get rid of this thing that has impacted so many of his decisions, from his business to his self worth, to his money issues, to the way that he looks at his relationships, to his own self value and eliminate that charge and help then change the direction of where he's going to go for the next part of his life. So to me that's exciting that you can do these things and it's not me doing some magic over this person, but by tapping. When you're tapping, you get out of fight or flight, you realize that you're safe. And then all of the answers that you need in that moment come to you, right? They enter your awareness because you're not worried about, I need to run. I'm not safe.

Kyle, this is so good. But how is it different or is it not different? And what are the advantages or disadvantages over EMDR or hypnosis?

All of those are also fantastic tools. I had an EMDR session when I was in some really gnarly car accidents. I was in two car accidents that were totaled three weeks apart. Hit by a USC cheerleader who was pretty stoned. Total my car three weeks later leaving the dealership. Car came and blew the red light and totaled that car as well. So let's just say I had some issues getting behind the wheel and I used EMDR and was blown away. I am a success story of emdr. I do not understand EMDR one bit, even as a success story of emdr, because it's more neurosensory, from what I understand, than we'll call it stuff that's dealt within the quantum field. Quantum energy, movement and moving energy blockages like you. Like you do with some of these other modalities seems a little different to me. Hypnosis is something that can actually be utilized in pieces during eft. It's just getting somebody into a more suggestible state where they let go of their guard and are more open and mobile and. And fluid. It's kind of like, to me, hypnosis. A big part of hypnosis is like, imagine after you get a good massage, you're more relaxed and pliable, and you can handle if somebody's like your kid screaming, right? If you're sitting here in your tents after a workout and everything, or before a workout, after a long workday, and you're sitting here and then your kids come up screaming. You may have a very short fuse and you may just lose it. You go get a great massage, and then your kid comes into the room. You're like, you know what? Just go chill out. Just relax. Right? So it's. To me, hypnosis is something that is a modality that gets you into a more subconscious, relaxed state where you can speak to your subconscious and help with some form of reprogramming versus with tapping. You're also incorporating the moving of the energy. And then also there's a lot of consciousness in tapping where you're dealing with the conscious awareness of, hey, you know, I'm not in my subconscious. I'm consciously realizing like, yeah, actually right now that shouldn't be affecting me. I think I'm okay from that. That's the past. Let me focus on the future. And you get that through a great sense of conscious awareness as well.

So how all these tools that you're using especially that's happening. Where are you now with Bodi? Like where have you, are you still bodybuilding? Are you still. Do you have a different relationship with what's happened there?

Oh, that's actually a great question. I had a very interesting experience with this is that I was known at being 5% body fat year round, looking like a human anatomy chart year round. And I identified with that and I was super happy with that. And then therefore that would turn me into a walking billboard for people asking me questions when I got sick. When I went through this whole experience, which I know you can relate to as well, having had everything that just happened with your arm, it's just like, all right, it's now time for this. And I truly believe that this was an opportunity, whether I wanted it or not, to step away from the body identification. And I was doing the same things. I was still working out and training and everything like that. My lung capacity sucks. So my cardiovascular endurance and stamina has taken a long time to rebuild. I was in the middle of training for a Spartan race when I got sick and I was a college water polo player. So everything was lungs. So lungs has a huge effect on your body. Right now I'm just getting to the place where I'm stepping out of going too far into the metaphysical and much more into the applied and feeling back into my body saying, okay, I'm feeling ready now to re sculpt my body, but from a place of integration. And it doesn't need to be a place of identification.

So that's a much healthier space.

Yes, so much healthier. Because then, you know, if you're sitting there at that moment, I don't have to look at myself as weak or less than if I choose to eat something that is not in alignment with the rigidness of my old eating lifestyle.

So powerful. And I would imagine there's just so much freedom that comes with that, like just a feeling of enjoyment and freedom.

Completely, completely. Because I know my self worth is not tied to my body and I know that I'm going to eat healthy to nourish my body from a place of love, not from a place of like I must maintain this image.

Yeah.

So we forget that it's like for who?

For who? Yeah, you're right. This is so good, Kyle. This is great. Do you. Where can people find you and do they. Do you do tapping sessions for them? Is that something that you do?

Yes. So I do tapping sessions. I do coaching, both one on one and group. The best way to get ahold of me is through any of the social media channels. You can go to Fit Kyle Brown and get into some of the stuff that I do with Redefining Fitness as well as through fit365 which we have a meal replacement shake business that we've had for about 15 years now. Totally dynamic. Some good stuff there which we're now moving more into just different ways to help and help everyone heal themselves more than just the physical products as well.

I love it. I'll link all that up. Thank you so much Kyle. Thank you.

Appreciated. Tons of fun.

Thanks for leveling up with us today. Please share this episode if you found it helpful so others can join in. And don't forget to hit that subscribe so you don't miss out on future shows. And if you would leave me a five star review. I appreciate those so much. I read all of them and it's how I know that I'm giving you information that you find valuable. And come interact with me over on on Instagram @nataliejillfit. I read all the direct messages and comments over there. Make it a great day. Creating everything from nothing.