224: Using Your Gifts to Overcome Physical, Sexual, and Emotional Abuse with Maxx Nies

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned lifestyle and high performance coach. When odds are stacked against us, how do we shift and create everything from nothing? How do we level up when we aren't feeling it yet or have had a big setback? And how do we adjust quickly when life throws us major curveballs? On this podcast, I do what I do best. Taking complicated information that is relevant to us now and breaking it down simply with actionable steps. Steps you can implement to level up your own life. I also regularly interview some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on the planet who at their worst, learn how to achieve success greater than they ever dreamed possible. Leveling up, Creating Everything from Nothing if you are new here, I encourage you to go back and listen from episode one for the full transformative experience. Music Saved her life in 2018, Max niece picked up a pen and began writing songs to heal from the sexual, emotional and verbal abuse that she had suffered as a child. Her first single, no Good at Love from her album titled Daddy Issues is about how she never felt clean enough to love herself or others. You see, Max used to take many showers in a day trying to wash off the feeling of feeling dirty, all which was brought on by the guilt and shame she carried at age 20. Now Max, through writing that title track, she shares that she was able to heal quickly and even forgive her abusers. As she began to write more and more songs, she was able to navigate through the pain, hurt and all the disorders that she experienced. Now, eating disorder and medication free, she has turned her pain into quite a purpose. She's a singer, songwriter, survivor and thriver with a heart to help others heal through music. Join in today and learn exactly how Max Nees has leveled up, creating everything from nothing. I'm really excited for this interview today because I'm talking to Max Neece and if you guys saw her, you can't necessarily see her on video right now because I'm recording for audio, but she looks like spitting image of my daughter and so I'm recording this also for my own selfish reasons because I have so many questions because she's a singer. She just got her first song out and my daughter's a singer too, so I this instant connection here. I wanted to know so much more. But what makes Max so unique is the crazy beginning of her life, the crazy stuff that she went through as a child and how she's channeled that into her music and how she's busted through a lot of things that could have gone a very different direction so, Max, thanks so much for being here today and being open to talking with me.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and talk to you.

So, Max, 20 years old, you just got your first song out in a big way, but take us back. Like, who were you, kid? What was going on in your life?

So as a kid, my mom's. My mom and dad were always separated. They were never married. And spending time at my mom's house was always fun and happy and exciting. I have great memories there. And then my dad's house has always been very. A very dark, scary experience for me and very lonely and isolating. And so from. I didn't see my dad the first two years of my life. He never really wanted to be a father. He. Once I turned, I think I was two, he agreed to start seeing me and was like, okay, I guess I'll give this dad thing a try. And it just didn't really work out. Like, he didn't want to be doing it. He. I don't know. It was.

Did you sense that as a kid? Like, did you know as a kid? Because I think young, you're just thinking, like, mom, dad. Like, did you. Could you sense he didn't really want to be involved?

So, no, I didn't think about it until, like, age 9, honestly. And that's when everything started, like, happening for me. Like, I lived from age 2 to 9 just, like, going through my life just thinking everything was normal and, like, I had nothing to compare it to, you know, Like, I was just like, okay, this is how it's supposed to be. My dad treats me this way. My mom treats me this way. This is my experience here. This is my experience here. Whatever. And then when I turned nine years old, I started, like, getting all these, like, memories and flashbacks, and I would start talking about, like, what was going on at my dad's house, and people were like, oh, well, that's not really supposed to happen. And at the same time, I started developing, like, really bad anxiety and OCD and depression, and my body and mind just kind of started shutting down. And there was this period where I got to, like, such a rock bottom emotionally that, like, I just stopped doing normal human things. And I stopped, like, showering. I refused to go to school. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to talk to anyone. All of my friends, I just, like, dropped. Like, I was just. I just gave up on myself.

So I have so many questions right now. So, like, for one, like, what did your mom used to say about your dad, and does she know that what was happening over there?

She. So my dad despised my mom. Like, he just. I think a big part of it was he was like, when she got pregnant, he was like, no, I'm not having a kid. And she was like, no, I am having a kid. This is my body. This is what I'm doing, and I want this child. And he just automatically was just, like, angry about that. So he hated her for whatever his reasons were and refused to have any communication with her unless it was, I think, either text or email at one point. So. And I didn't know to say anything. So my mom wasn't getting any information. She wasn't even allowed to, like, go inside of his house. Like, when she would drop me off, he was like, you have to drop her off at the end of the driveway.

Wow.

So.

So how did it even get to a place where your dad could see your. Could see you? Because I'm assuming if he wasn't in your life the first two years your mom had primary custody, how did it even get to a place that he was seeing you?

Well, I actually. I don't know what the custody was like when I was, like, a baby, but my mom wanted him to be a part of my life. She, like, begged him to be, and he just refused. Like, he was not interested. He didn't want to. And I think his parents were pushing him to be a father. So finally he just gave in.

God. Your mom was doing it from the right place of intention. Like, she's like, well, I want her to have a father figure, so let's. Let's push this.

Yeah, she didn't really. Like I said, they were never married, and they weren't even, like, very serious in their relationship before they had me. So it wasn't like she knew him like that. Like that.

Totally. I get that. So, okay, so what was going on over at your dad's house?

So what was going on was he. It was like he ignored me a lot of the time. Like, he didn't give me attention. But when he did give me attention, it was very toxic, unhealthy, and abusive. He was not very big on, like, physical abuse. It wasn't like he was just, like, beating me up 24 7, but he would do, like, weird things, like squeeze my wrists to the point where they would have, like, marks on them or the back of my neck. He would like, very things that people couldn't see on the outside, like, in public. But, like, then at the same Time. He would never, like, show me any kind of affection. Like, it was, like, weird. Like, he wouldn't hug me or hold me or comfort me when I was upset. He was very weird about being physical with me in, like, a normal fatherly way. So he also would lock me in closets and rooms. My room at his house, actually. If I shut the door on the inside, I was stuck in the room. It, like, automatically locked. So I wasn't able to get out of my room. If I closed the door, he was the one who had to let me out. And at the same time, there was sexual abuse going on by his friend that he allowed. And so how old were you, Max.

When this was happening?

So from what I can remember, the sexual abuse started at 6 years old. But my dad's abuse of just being verbally and emotionally and sometimes physically abusive, that was going on my whole life.

So your dad had friend or friends, and he would, like. Like, he would let them do their thing, and then he. So it's like. It's not that he was. But he was not stopping it. He was letting them.

Yes. It was, like, kind of like a deal they had going on and. Wow. Yeah.

Oh, wow. So did you. Did you tell your mom any of this, or did you not know it was something to tell her?

I didn't at first. It was something I didn't know to tell her, and then it was like. And this is a common thing for people, traumatic experiences where you don't have a full memory. It's like, you know that something happened to you, but it's clear. And I didn't have, like, all of my memories of what I do now until I was, like, 14. And I get it. When I had my first memory of my sexual abuse come up, and it was, like, pretty clear, and I knew that it had happened to me, and I really just didn't want to admit it or think about it. And. And I remember how it came up was I started asking my mom questions about the man who I had the memory with because he was like, my dad's one of my dad's best friends, and he was at my dad's house a lot of the time, when. Even, like, when he wasn't doing those things.

So was this person. And I want to get a little bit more. And I'm sorry. I know this is, like, a painful thing to kind of go into, but I think this is helpful for some people that don't recognize it's happening to their kids or that they haven't even coped with it.

The.

The person that was abusing you sexually did. Was he like, a monster to you, or was he, like, befriending you? So you thought. Because I think there's this. I've just heard from people I've interviewed, there's this, like, weird thing where they feel almost guilty, like they like the person because they're being nice to them and they're getting attention.

It's interesting that you asked that, because that's how I felt about my dad. Like, I always love and he's my dad, so I. Like, that's kind of a natural thing. But I always just had this. It was like I was angry and sad. I had those feelings towards him. But then at the same time, it was like, I always had this other feeling of, like, it's okay because I love him. And I. Like, I would call him when me and my mom would get in fights and then be disappointed because he was never there for me. Like, I just had this expectation of him.

Yeah.

Every time he. Like, I put myself or put him in a place to expect some love from him or something positive from him, it was always a disappointment. So I had that feeling of, like, that loving your abuser thing with my dad, but with the friend growing up, I hated him. He was always, like, rude to me and teased me a lot and was just inappropriate with me.

And so from day one, he was that. And so you would notice your. He's. This man's being uncomfortable with you and rude, but your dad's, like, sort of looking the other way, and you didn't want to rock the boat with your dad.

And anytime I ever asked my dad anything, he would say, usually this was like, his line. I'm the adult. You're the kid. Don't ask questions. Just do what I do and do what I say. And I was just like, all right.

Wow. So, gosh, that's. I feel so much in what you're sharing that, like, every little girl wants their dad to love them like they. And we do tend to look other ways at treatments because we want that. So at age. Is it age 14 when your full memory started coming out? Is this when you first started sharing with your mom what was happening?

So when I was. When I was nine and I started going through all of my depression and anxiety and just shutting down, my mom put me in therapy. And the therapist, when I started talking about what was going on, therapist was like, she has to stop seeing him. Like, this is not.

Yeah.

And then my mom was made aware of what was Going on. And she immediately, like, took me out of the state.

Like, I can imagine your mom was just devastated. I can't even as a parent, imagine.

In shock, too. Like, she had no idea.

And then the guilt, too. Like, even though it's not her fault, like, that guilt, like, oh, I wanted her a relationship with this person.

Exactly. Like, my mom has gone through her own whole thing.

Totally.

But, yeah. So then from, like, 10 to 14, I was just dealing with the fact that my dad wasn't even fighting for me to want to stay, you know, it was like, I was just so sad that he didn't want me, and, like, I wanted to be around him, but then at the same time, like, being around him made me have panic attacks. It was just a really confusing time for me.

I can imagine.

Yeah. And then I started going through. I had an eating disorder, and my anxiety was just awful. Like, I was just not doing well. And I was actually put into a rehab center because I was so malnourished. And they worked on, like, getting me back to health physically.

So talk to me a little bit more about the eating disorder, Max. Because a lot of people assume people with eating disorders is that they just want to be skinny, and that's typically not what it is. I find that it's a control thing. It's something you can control. Can you talk to me about your experience with that?

Makes my body, like, burn up. Because people really do think that, a lot of people, that eating disorders are just about the way you look and this and that. It is literally, like, at least from my experience, I didn't even want to be skinny. My problem was one day I was so depressed and so anxious that I just stopped eating. And I wasn't eating for, like, a good amount of time. And now, naturally, my body, I lost weight. And when I would feel okay enough to eat and I did eat, I got this feeling in my stomach. Like, there were, like, bugs crawling in me. Like, feeling of having anything in my body or my stomach being full was so uncomfortable for me that I just didn't eat. And then my body, I think, got addicted to the feeling of just being empty. And then when I actually put forward food in me, I wasn't able to, like, process it properly.

Wow.

And, yeah, it was just, like, a snowball effect of it.

It's almost like. And I don't know that there's any proof behind this or anything, but what comes up for me is when you look at kids or teens that, like, cut themselves or starve themselves, it's Almost like you just want to feel something. So you're. You're doing this to. To have a fear to feel.

Yeah. Well, I was actually talking to my grandma about this this morning, how. Because she was asking me, like, why do kids think it's their fault all the time that, like, their parents get divorced or that dad abandons them? And I'm like, well, think about it this way. Like, you're a little kid and you're on the playground and you're being bullied and someone calls you names and is being mean to you. You're like, oh, that person doesn't like me. So that's, like, how you feel when you're, like, a little kid and your dad is being mean to you, like, playground. Oh, they don't like me. So I feel like I used my eating disorder and any other abusive things that I did to myself as a distraction from facing what was going on with my dad. Get it? I'm starving myself. And if I'm punching myself in the face and I'm feeling all this other pain that I'm creating for myself, I don't have to think about the pain that I have to deal with that went on at my dad's house, you know? So it is a distraction. And it also. Control is a huge thing, too, because being at my dad's house, all of my control was stripped away from me. He controlled me. And, I mean, as a kid, you are supposed to. You're not supposed to have all the control. You're not supposed to make all the decisions, but it was in such an unhealthy, dramatic way.

Yeah.

Like, I couldn't even eat food when I wanted to, and the food that I was able to eat was rotten and stale. And, like, it was so controlling that when I stopped seeing my dad, I was like, oh, my God, I need to control literally everything because I don't know how to live a peaceful life.

So did you. When you were going back and forth to the houses, did you. Would you get, like, that anxiety before you were going to your dad's house? And then what? But you never. Your mom never picked up on that, or you didn't share that, or you hit it from her?

So what would happen was when. So I first started sleeping at my dad's house, and then one day I came home and I just said, my mom told me this story. I didn't even really remember it at first, and now I do. But she said one day I came home from his house, and I was like, it was a weekend that I slept there. And I said, I'm never sleeping at daddy's house ever again. And she said, why not? And I said, I'm just not. And she said I was, like, 7 years old, and she never got the answer why or anything. And I didn't. I didn't sleep there. And then one day, it was fought. It was Father's Day, and I asked my dad what he wanted. I think I was around, like, 8 years old, and he was like, I just want you to sleep at my house again. Like, it's weird that you don't sleep at my house. Everyone else has kids that share custody and they sleep over at their dad's house. And I was like, I can't do it. And he said, why? And I said, I have such bad anxiety about sleeping out. And, like, I couldn't sleep at anyone's house. And now I know why. Because there were certain things going on that were scary to me. But. Yeah. So, like, three days before I would go to my dad's house, I would start getting anxious, and it was like, people would be like, you're being so dramatic. Like, just live in the present moment. Just like. Like, why are you thinking about three days ahead? And I would get so frustrated because I couldn't relax. Like, I. And then they would, like, on the day that I was supposed to go over to his house, my. Whoever was picking me up to take me there or dropping me off, I would have, like, panic attacks, and to the point where I would start hyperventilating and couldn't even go sometimes because my anxiety and panic was so.

And I would imagine your mom probably thought, like, a lot of moms would think, like, it's just separation anxiety. Like, she wants to be around me and. But I'm doing the right thing. She needs to have her dad in her life. I can. I can feel. I can. I don't even know your mom, but I'm feeling that would be the whole conversation going on.

That's exactly what it was. And it was very much easy to believe that because my mom and I, it's just the two of us. Like, I'm an only child, and we've been, like, best friends.

Yeah.

Like, we have a very close relationship.

Yeah.

She. A lot. It was easy for people to just think, like, oh, she just wants to stay with her.

Wow. Okay. I want to shift a little bit into the singing and we'll come back to the story. But I'm. Because I'm thinking of just, like, my daughter as a singer. She's been singing since she was 2 years old. I mean, just constant singing. Did you. Were you doing that, like, at both houses or were you, like, I'm noticing, like, she'll be at my house or her dad's house, and she's always singing, always singing. Were you doing that? And what was your mom saying about it versus what your dad was saying about it?

So at my mom's house, I was singing. I was putting performances on in the living room. I was dancing, I was doing choreography. Like, I was a full on, like, artist and I was like a baby, you know? Like. Yeah. When I was, like, probably 6 years old, I started, like, doing little performances and totally.

Like my daughter does. I get it. I love it.

A little keyboard. I had, like, my songbook, I got. For every birthday, I got music presents. Like, everything was, like, acknowledged at my mom's house and my dad, it was the same every single day. I would arrive at his house, I would put on the tv, and I didn't really even know how to control the channels. So Channel 7 was always on. So I would sit there and watch Judge Judy for, like, Judy was on. She became my new best friend. And then I would just go back home. Like, my dad never put in any effort to.

So he didn't know you had this talent or care or. He wasn't. He didn't. Okay.

No, not at all. Got it.

So how did singing become. What was that an outlet for you initially or did that evolve into an outlet?

Yeah, so that was, I think at first it was just like a distraction that I craved and that I loved. Like, I just really enjoyed doing it. And then when I started, I started writing songs when I was probably, I think, seven or eight years old. And my first song was about my great grandma who had just passed away, and she was like, the first person that had ever died. And, like, in my life, like, first time I was experiencing something like that, and I didn't really understand it too much, but I did realize, like, how sad everyone was. And I even felt sad. And I knew that it was just, like a sad moment going on. So I wrote a song about it. And a lot of people were like, oh, wow, that's actually pretty good. And, like, people were impressed by it and that made me want to, like, do it more. And then I realized that I was feeling good after I wrote the songs. And it was like a release for me and it was a distraction, and it was like a good distraction. So I did that a lot. And then I got into singing lessons at 8 years old. And that just motivated me even more. And I started performing, and it just snowballed into, like, this. This amazing addiction that I have.

Yeah. So it's funny, my daughter always says this, and you'll probably understand this more than a lot of people listening. She always says that she can. She only can feels that she can write when she's in her feels. And I was like, what does that mean, in your feels?

She's like.

Like, if something's going on, something she's sad about, or that's when she says she comes up with lyrics. Did you find that for yourself, too?

Yes, I totally understand what she means by that, but I also. It's weird. I feel like it's either one extreme or the other. Like, I can't write in a middle area. Like, I can write when I'm in a really good place because I feel like my mind is clear and able to, like, process things very clearly and properly. And then when I'm really sad or in my feels, like, how. Because that's when things are so, like, raw and emotional and you can really, like, tap all that emotion. But I don't know when I'm just like, okay. I'm just like, I have no motivation.

Yeah.

I need to be, like, on one extreme or the other.

Yes. Okay. So now, how did you go from being a kid that was coping and navigating what you'd been through with your dad and depression and eating disorder and all of these things and enjoying singing to, like, actually getting a song released? Like, that's out there. That's real. That's. How did that happen?

So I actually, like, in my early teenage years, I started losing motivation to do pretty much anything. I was riding horses for a really long time consistently, and that became my new savior and distraction and coping mechanism. And then one day I just woke up and was like, I don't think I want to do this horseback riding thing anymore. I was like, I had just graduated high school, so I was taking a year off and, like, trying to figure out where I wanted to go to college and what I wanted to do and, like, what my next chapter was going to be. And I was like, I think I want to get back into singing and writing and music. And I started doing that. I started taking lessons again. And my teacher at the time introduced me to this producer, and I brought him one of my songs, and he was like, let's. You have an amazing talent. Let's start working together. So we did, and we wrote our first song. And after Hearing that and, like, seeing that come to life, I was like, oh, my God, this is possible. Like, I can do this. And then songs just started pouring out of me. But most of the songs were about, like, just light things, very poppy. Very, like. About, like, breakups and crushes and, like, it was mostly surrounding, like, boys and just, like, what. I was going through life at the time. And then my uncle, who's a life coach, he's a spiritual life coach, and I started working with him because I was just. I don't know, I was just all over the place and not feeling great in my own mind and body. And he helped me tremendously. I, like, say every single day, day or every time I talk about him, he saved my life because he really, really did. He started inspiring me, and not even inspiring me. He started forcing me to write about what I had gone through with my dad and my feelings and emotions and everything that I was dealing with. And I was like, no one wants to hear about that stuff. Like, that's depressing. That's like, it's not gonna be on the radio. Like, how do you make a fun song that people want to dance to, people want to listen to, people want to hear on the radio about depression and anxiety and suicide and abuse? Like, I'm not writing about that stuff. And he was like, just wait and see. Like, you're going to love it. And I was like, all right, you're crazy. Whatever that. And then one day, I went into the studio, and I had awful anxiety, like, to the point where I was shaking every single day. Like, and I didn't even know why. Like, it wasn't like there was some big thing. It was like my body was just, like, trying to shake the anxiety out or something. I don't know. And I went in, and I was like, I have to write this song about anxiety. Like, it's taking over me. I have to get it out of me. And I left the studio, like, more peaceful than I've ever been in my entire life. It was like this released it. And I still, to this day, have not had that crazy shaking anxiety. I mean, I get nervous here and there, but it's never.

Maybe it was like your first time truly sharing your truth. Like, you were taking your truth because you. You had made all these reasons why. Maybe it's not as bad as I think, or maybe, you know, but you were sharing your actual truth. And I think that maybe makes sense why you felt that in your body at such a visceral level.

Yeah. And then after that, Song I was like, wow, this is amazing. Like, I just released all that anxiety, and now that anxiety that I hated and despised every day. I kind of love it now because it. Song. And now that I. Anxiety. I think of my song, and I love this song.

That's incredible.

This very dark, negative thing. Super positive. And then, wait, I can do that anytime I want to. So now I've just been, like, crossing off the emotions and the mental struggles that I've had and writing songs about them. Anxiety, depression, suicide, loneliness, eating disorders, sexual abuse, all of it. I just. I like to write about it now.

You've totally turned your pain into purpose.

Exactly.

That's amazing.

What.

Now tell me, what is your relationship with your dad now? Do you not talk to him at all? Is he know that you have a song out?

Like, what is.

Where are things with him?

So I. I stopped seeing my dad at, like, nine years old. And I think up until I'd say, like, 13, I tried to call him and I tried to talk to him about, like, having a relationship with him. I tried fixing things, and every time I picked up the phone to talk to him, he would just basically end up saying, you're a liar. None of this is true. You're crazy. Your mom brainwashed you. She kidnapped you. She like all this stuff. And I was just like, oh, my God. Like, wait, what?

Basically gaslighting you, trying to make you think that it's not true.

Exactly. But, like, at the same time, feeding me all these lies, and I was like, if I keep talking to this man, I will literally go crazy. Not just, like, go crazy like the saying, I'm gonna go crazy. Like, I will go crazy, lose my. And I felt myself getting to that point finally just stopped communicating with him. And then they start. Him and his family started, like, harassing me on Facebook, Instagram. Like, they would. They would, like. I had to change my phone number. It was bad. So I blocked them on everything and didn't talk to any of them for years. And after I started working with my uncle, it had been, like a year of working with him, and I just got to this place of being very content with myself and loving myself and not being scared of what had happened to me or my dad or my abuser, any of that. And I'm just in such a good place that I, like, got to this place of wanting to see my dad and talk to him, and not just that, but tell him that I love him and I forgive him. So every year, I'm from New Jersey, and my family lives There. And every year we go there for my grandma's birthday in the summer. So this last August, I decided to, while we were there, go to his house without him knowing. I just went there and I knocked on his door and I ended up saying hi. I love you and I forgive you, and I know what you did, and I know what your friend did, and I want to say that I'm forgiving both of you and I'm so sorry for whatever you went through to want to do that.

Wow.

But I've forgiven you and I'm letting it all go.

How amazing of you to have done that. What a gift.

And I, like, I always say, like, I did that for me. But then at the same time time, I saw how it helped him. Like, he. There was emotion in his face for the first time. He wanted to hug me for the first time. Yes. Yeah. It was very uncomfortable because hurt people hurt people.

And it doesn't excuse the behavior, but when you. You're right. Because that holding that anger and hate and blame is gonna keep you hostage.

Exactly.

It doesn't make him right. It doesn't make anybody right for what they've done. But staying in that place of victim, it doesn't give us any power to move forward. So I think it's incredible what you did and that you recognize that and what a gift to him. And I hope that he shifts and changes because of that.

Yeah. And he has. He just had another kid, and I got to meet him that day, and all I can think about was, how is this kid's life gonna turn out?

Wow.

And I just, like, hope every single day that anything that I do and anything that I put out there can have a positive effect on how this child's life is turn out, because I have no control.

So from that moment, that day that when you had this, which must have been so scary for you to go there, I can only imagine what that felt like. And then that hug. Have you had communication since that with your dad?

Well, it was. It wasn't that. It was like. It was. It was definitely nerve wracking because I hadn't seen him in so long. But it scary because I realized that he's just this sad, broken person, you know, like, after I saw him, I wanted to hold him. I wanted to, like.

Yeah, you felt compassion.

Hey, like, I wanted to come him. And when I left, I just felt so powerful and sorry. But he actually, before I left his house that day, was like, can I please have your phone number? I want to talk to you. I want to have a relationship with you. And I just said to him, like, I am open to that. I don't know when I'll be like, yeah, but. Because I just got over everything that.

Yes.

And I'm in such a good place right now, and I don't think that, like, having a relationship with him is not my priority anymore.

And kudos to you that you're even talking about this, because the amount of people you'll help with your story is so powerful and incredible. And I know how hard that must have felt, like, because it feels almost like you're betraying a parent. Like, I know. Even though you're not. Like, that's how heavy that parent relationship is. So I think it's so magnificent that you have taken this and you're giving. Not only making incredible music with it, but you're helping so many others that haven't spoken out or don't know that there's something that they can speak out.

Yeah. And that's, like, 99% of the reason I want to be doing this. Like, yeah, an easy thing. And it's definitely scary. And, like, I've had so many thoughts and still, like, after doing. Because I've been doing a few podcasts since my release, and I've been thinking, like, oh, what are my friends gonna think of me? Like, what's this person gonna think of me? Like, now everyone knows this big secret I've been holding on to, and I just keep reminding myself, like, this is you. This is who you are. Like, this happened to you. This is, like, nothing you should be.

It's your truth. It's your story. It's your journey.

You're, like, telling people. If you're not telling people that this happened to you, you're kind of lying about yourself.

Like, and imagine how many kids you're actually giving the space to speak up now. Because there's people listen. There's somebody listening right now that has been avoiding confronting. There's somebody listening right now who's sensing it in their child and isn't. Like, you're giving permission to open up a conversation. And I think that's amazing.

And I've already had people reach out to me and say, like, wow, you've really inspired me, and this has helped me so much. And it's. It's the best feeling in the world. It really is to be able to connect and, like, not even just have them send me that message of, you've helped me, but to be able to continue to help them and connect with them and Be like, oh, you're going through that. Well, this helped me. Maybe this will help you. Or if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Like, I don't care if you're in Australia. I don't care where you are. Like, I will talk to you over Instagram. I'll talk to you on Facebook, like, anywhere. Like, I'm open to talking to anyone. That's what I want to do. That is what I want to use my story.

And if anyone's listening, that is on the other side of it. That's the abuser. What do you want them to know?

I want them to get proper help. I want them to take their anger and sadness, not take it out on people. I want them to really look at themselves and ask, why do I feel the need to be doing this? Because it's not something stupid like, I just don't like my kid or I don't like my girlfriend or she lied to me the other night. There you abuse. There's no reason for abuse. There's no reason. So really look at yourself.

Yeah. And I'm going to add to that. That gaslighting and telling people that they're making it up doesn't help things. But I think the first step in peace and love and coming back together is owning it and just admitting and saying, I screwed up.

Yeah. And it's a very hard thing to do. But once you do that, I mean, I've even had to do those things and admit to things that I am not proud of and forgive myself for certain things. Like I even just personally with myself. Like, I abused my own body for years because of what I had been through and that was just my way of coping. But I built this. Like, it was like I was fighting with myself. I was in a war with so long and I had to like, forgive myself and tell myself, I'm sorry for doing that to you, you know?

So, Max, where can people follow your. Follow more about you and where can they get your song? Because, I mean, I know so many people are going to want to check this out now because. So talented and so wise for being so young. What's the name of your song?

The name of my song is no Good at Love.

Okay.

It's out on all music platforms. My Instagram is Max M A X X. Nice N I E S. I have a Facebook page. I think that's just Max. All of my music platforms are Max M A XX. I just put out my music video last Sunday and that's YouTube and also on my Instagram Instagram TV page, all.

The links down below. Everyone check it out. Support I love journeys like this. I love that you've turned your pain into your purpose. And I know you've got a bright future ahead of you. And I'm so. I'm honored that you let me interview you about all of this. Thank you so much, Max.

Well, thank you. Thank you for giving me your time and having me on here.

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Sam.