237: From Heroin Addicted Parents to Living the Life of Your Dreams with Melitsa Waage

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned lifestyle and high performance coach. Welcome to Listen up the podcast. On this podcast, I do what I do best. Taking complicated information that is relevant to us now and breaking it down simply with actionable steps you can implement to level up your life. I also regularly interview some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on the planet who at their worst, learned how to achieve success greater than anything they ever, ever dreamed possible. Creating everything from nothing. If you are new here, I encourage you to go back and listen from episode one when this podcast was previously called Leveling up for the Full Transformative Experience. Today I'm here with Melissa Wagi and listen today. So today she's a bestselling author and international speaker, founder of Epic Talks Miami, which is the number one marketing event in. Sorry, networking event in South Florida. She's a high performance mindset coach. She has a whole list of accomplishments, but her who she is today is not even close to who she was growing up. This story is going to blow you away. When I heard her story, I wanted to whip out a recorder right away. So I'm excited to have her on the show today. Melissa, thank you so much for being here today and talking with my audience.

Thank you so much for having me.

Gosh, you've accomplished so much and you're just such a light and I love everything you do now, who you are in the world, how you've shown up. But take us back because I know you had a very, very different childhood than people probably expect. Growing up was not easy for you. Can you take us back to who you like? I want to go back to when you were a kid even what was going on?

Well, I was born into heroin addict parents. So I had a mom and dad that were highly addicted to heroin and because of that they lost their three kids. So I went into the foster care system at the age of three and it was. I don't come from a victim mentality standpoint. I'm so grateful for my past because I truly believe because I went through that is who I am today. So. So that's pretty much it. I was in the foster care system until the age of 15. You know, I had my trials and tribulation struggling with identity of, you know, being in a family where I was confused, you know, and I didn't feel that I had the love that I deserved as a child. You know, even.

So I'm gonna cut you off right there for one minute. Cause I have so many. Cause I love how you Just like scooted over like, oh, I just born into a heroin addiction. Parents, and they lost, but I'm not a victim. So I want to talk to you a little bit more about that because there's a lot of people listening right now that are in a circumstance situation where they can't see past that. So I want to, if you're okay with it, I want to sort of dive back into that. Like, first of all, do you remember being three with your parents? Do you have any memory of that at all?

I actually do. I remember a memory where my mother was high on the couch and my little brother and my little sister, we were all together. And I remember I was starving and I was three. And I think the reason why I remember this is because it was so traumatic. And I remember opening the refrigerator and there was nothing there at age three.

Wow.

Yeah. And a lot of people question that, well, how can you remember that? Well, you. You actually can.

Yeah. It was a pivotal moment. Do you, do you. And you said you knew your mom was high. Was that as an adult perspective or do you actually remember as a kid thinking, something's wrong with my mom?

Well, now as an adult, I look back and I'm like, oh, okay. That's because she was, you know, she was feeling this certain way and, you know, she couldn't get out of it. You know what I mean? Addiction is a powerful thing and it can take over. You know, obviously, like, it took her and my father as well. And yeah, it was just a moment that at the time, I didn't understand it, but there was a moment where we had like, the cops raid our house and come in and take us, you know, like, literally, like we were like in a war.

So when this was happening and you were three, how old was your. Were your siblings?

My brother was five and my little sister was nine months.

Oh, wow. So you literally, at three, you're almost taking care of a nine month old, I would imagine.

Well, between me and my brother, like, I wouldn't say I'm taking care of her because I can't really remember a moment where I was holding her. But I see this as a picture right now in my past. And. Yeah.

What happened that interrupted that? Because I would imagine, here you are, you're three, your brothers, you've got two siblings that are also here. Your mom is high, your dad is in the picture somewhere. What interrupted it? How did people find you? How did they know that something was going on? How did this change?

Well, the neighbors started complaining because they started seeing the Neglect and, wow, I haven't spoken about this in a long time. And, you know, they started calling, like, social services and stuff like that. And then once they finally came and took us away, you know, I guess there was a Christian family that found out about us. And, you know, they wanted to. They couldn't take the three of us, but they wanted to take me and my brother, and that's what ended up happening. They found. They found us through a church because in the community, the church was big or whatever, and kids needing help and stuff like that, and that's pretty much how I got out of it. Yeah.

Do you remember them coming to get you? Do you remember what that was like? And what was your last, like, conversation with your mom in that time? Do you remember any of that?

I don't remember any of that, but I do remember our foster care person. I can't remember what you call that, an interventionist or something like that. Michael Sabata or something like that. And I remember he used to always come with, like, balloons and little toys to come and see me and my siblings. And I remember him walking us to our first home, which, yeah, my family that I lived with for 12 years. And I just remember walking in and they were all, like, waiting there, greeting us, and they even had, like, a little rabbit waiting for us like that. And I remember that entrance. And that. That's kind of. That was a pivotal moment in my life. But at the time, I think I was in the foster care system for, like, nine months, because as I was entering this home, I was almost four. So.

Do you have memories of the foster care home before you moved into the family where you remember walking in and feeling that love?

Yes. I don't remember the transition exactly, but I was. I remember I used to suck my thumb when I was little, and I guess that was, like, something, like, comforting for. And there was one of the foster families that I was with that the lady came and she's like, next time you suck your thumb, I'm going to cut your finger off.

Oh, wow.

You literally put a scissor like this and put pressure on me, and I was scared. And then also a moment where. Because back then, if you had a foster child, the government used to pay you so they would get money to take care of us. So I think really took advantage of that. And thankfully, I. I wasn't sexually abused or molested, but mentally, that trauma stayed there. And I remember staying out in a picnic one time and they just said, hey, come here, Come here and follow us. I Started following them, and they were like, stand right there. And I'm just, like, standing there. And all of a sudden, they made me stand in an ant pile. The ants started crawling up my leg and started biting me, and I just went crazy. And they started laughing, you know, so it was more for, like, their entertainment, you know, so that was. That was traumatic as well.

Yeah. And you were. So you were here. You were almost, maybe four.

I was almost four. And then from there, I transitioned into. Into the foster family that had me for, like, 12 years.

So what did you. In that time of your life, when you think back to that? I know you said you haven't talked about that in a while, but what. What was your beliefs at that time when you were that person? Were you. Were you sad? Were you looking for your parents? Like, what was the mindset of you as little girl, Melissa, then?

You know, I wasn't sad. I was just kind of rolling with the punches. You know, it was part of life. I didn't know what a normal childhood was. So to me, that was my normal. You know what I mean? And did I miss my mom? Was I confused? Was I scared? Did I have an issue trusting people? Yes. I remember my foster family that had me for 12 years. They used to pick me up, and they used to try to give me. Me love, and I used to smell them in their neck, and I would just be like, put me down. You stink.

Oh, my gosh.

And, you know, that was my way of getting away from them. But. Yeah.

Did you miss your mom? And were you thinking about your parents? Were you talking about them? Did you understand that you weren't with them anymore? What was your. What was going on then? I'm just trying to think of my daughter being little at age 4. What would have gone through her head?

I was confused, and I don't know. I can't remember missing her. I just wanted a place of normalcy, and I wanted to be loved, and I wanted to be in a home that felt safe and secure.

So tell me what happened then in the foster home?

I mean, I'm thankful for this foster family because, I mean, I'm close to them now, and they really instilled in me a lot of values. You know, I grew up as a Christian, and, you know, that's always been in the forefront of my mind. Growing up as a Christian and, you know, knowing about God and the Bible and all that stuff, you know, things got difficult at a point, you know, especially when my biological mom would come and visit us. You know, I would have abandonment issues every time she would come, you know, and there was a lot of struggles when it came to that. And, you know, both of my moms not like, understanding or respecting each other's space because this is my daughter or I saved her or whatever. You know what I mean? Or so it was. It was a little confusing. Confusing. And I dealt a lot with abandonment, and I feel like I still have. Even though I've worked a lot on personal development and healing my traumas and everything, I still feel like I. Abandonment is still something that triggers me sometimes.

I can imagine. I can imagine. So take us on the journey. So then. So you were one of the fortunate ones that got into a good foster family that was teaching you skills that taught you love and kept trying, it sounds like, even when you weren't ready to receive it. So take us through what happened next.

Well, my brother always really struggled with his identity and also with acceptance. And, you know, he kind of started rebelling himself where they had to let him go, actually, and put him back into the foster care system. But it got to a point where there were certain experiences and situations in my childhood where I didn't think were fair. And I was always the type of person to really stick up for myself. And I felt like I'm very intuitive even since I was a little girl. I mean, I've been through a situation where you're like, how does that little girl know how to do that? Right. So it wasn't the best childhood. But then again, I'm thankful because I went through that adversity. A lot of misunderstandings with my sisters and, you know, with family members and stuff like that, and a lot of rejection as well. I mean, even my foster mom told me one time that she couldn't love me the way she loved her kids because she didn't have me, you know, and I was 12 then, and, you know, it was part of my growing up. You know, I tried to commit suicide twice, one hanging myself and the other one with a bottle of aspirin, and it didn't work. I guess obviously God had bigger and greater purpose for me.

But wait, Melissa, you know, I'm going to ask about that, too, because I love that.

I love.

First of all, I love your commitment to not being a victim. So I promise I'm going to. I'm going to totally go back over to that because I think that mindset is so powerful. But I have some questions about this because I. And I want. And I know this is hard for you. I just want you to know that I know there's people listening right now that are where you were. So for them, I want them to understand how dire the situation was. So, like when you said you try to kill yourself twice, like, what happened? Did somebody find you? Did somebody interrupt it? Did you just wake up yourself? Like, what happened with that?

I remember when I was in. I was just fed up with what was happening in my family and. And I was just like, you know, I just wanted to just end it, you know what I mean? And I had aspirin. I think I took like 25 or 30 of them. And you know what I mean? And I was just trying.

Imagine it just made your stomach hurt a lot.

I can't even remember what happened. But it didn't work. I woke up the next morning like, oh, shit, okay, didn't work.

Got it.

And then I remember, and maybe I was doing this for attention, but even my sister was sitting in the kitchen and the table and I had a rope and I was outside in the balcony trying to figure out how I could hang that. Put that rope so I can hang myself, you know? And she never asked me, like, what's going on? You know what I mean? And yeah, it was just one of those moments where I don't know what to say here.

No, I mean, you're saying it all. I mean, it was that bad. It was that rock bottom that you didn't want to even be here. What do you think shifted from that? I know you said God intervened and it wasn't meant to be. What do you think happened? How did you get out of that and decide, I'm not going to end it, I'm going to find another way.

You know, I've just always been. Always been the life of the party. Yeah. And even since I was little, even my teachers, I remember having a kindergarten and a first grade teacher, they wanted to adopt me, you know, and just. I just knew that I was created for greatness and I would feel it by how other people reacted to me. And it's funny because it's true what they say. You don't know what you have until it's gone. Right? And to me, that's what my family had. They had like this amazing little gem that was destined to do so much more. And I don't know that they could see that because they were so blinded by their past traumas and their way of growing up. And I don't blame them in any way. You know what I mean? It's more like they didn't know any Better, you know what I mean? And now this. The way I see my sisters treat their kids and the way my parents are with their grandkids, they're fucking epic.

Yeah. So this is your biological parents that want.

No, these are my foster parents.

Okay.

My mother, my biological mom, she always tried to prove herself by coming to, like, visit me and. And, you know, bring me gifts and bring her family members and stuff like that. So she tried also, but it got so bad that. That my foster mom told me that my mother died. You know what I mean? Because that's. She didn't want her to continue coming. And. And so that was kind of, you know, And I still look at it now. I'm like, damn, that was messed up. You know? But again, it's part of the process. It's part of the journey. And it's crazy because they've forgiven each other. They're in touch now through Facebook, which is a beautiful thing. And I have an amazing relationship with my biological mother right now, and I still have a relationship with my foster mom, but then again, I don't blame them for anything.

I love that. And I fully. I can't wait to ask you so many questions about mindset shift, because I've always shared that from a victim standpoint, no matter what has happened to us, and it's as horrible as it feels and as bad of a situation as it is, we can't grow from a victim standpoint, we stay stuck. And then when we can look for what is my alternative? Where can I be forgiving? Where can I find some responsibility? Where can I find the blessing in this? That's the only way I see out. And it's interesting because even as you're talking, I see how strong you are to and how committed you are to not be in victim mentality, even though you had horrible, horrible things happen to you.

Yes. Thank you. I appreciate you saying that.

So I have a lot more questions about the journey, because I know there's a lot more. But I do want to ask you, do you remember making a decision to not be stuck in the circumstance, or was it the only choice? And I'm asking because there's a lot of people right now super stuck in circumstances. So what do you think the difference is? Like, why do you think some fall totally into victim story and stay there and go down a really bad path, and then others see that the way out is to have forgiveness and to look for solutions? Like, what do you think happened that made you go to that camp?

You know, I think it's because I truly loved myself. I loved who I was. I loved making people happy. You know, that's one of. I think my strengths is making people laugh and being authentic and being there for them, you know? And I just. I just knew that I needed to get out of that household in order for me to shine. Because when I was there, even my sister's husband, he's like, oh, if you leave here, you're gonna end up a heroin addict like your mom. You're gonna end up fat like your mom and all this stuff. And the one actually who's struggling with life right now in a disease is him. You know what I mean? And that's why you have to be very careful with your words, you know, and the message and story that you're telling other people and yourself, you know, And. And that's basically it. I just knew I was destined for more. And the moment I got that household, that's when I was like, okay, here we go. This is my chance. It's almost like I got out of prison.

Yeah. So then you had another massive awakening in your early adult life. You ended up. Can we. Can we talk? Dive into that a little bit? Because that was like a double whammy.

Yeah, sure.

Because you.

You.

You got married.

Yes, I did. And I do want to mention one thing. I got kicked out of high school, and I was told by my principal that I was just another Latina statistic that would never amount to anything.

Wow.

And I just would love to see this man right now because I remember him being short and fat and miserable with his job. And I'm just going to be like, thank you. Because once he kicked me out of high school, I had to go ahead and finish high school on my own. Right. So I had to go one of those special programs, and I didn't have that normal regular graduation. I was also homeless and lived out of my car in front of a Walmart parking lot. And I remember I put myself underneath the lights because there was cameras there, and I'm like, just in case anything happens, you know, there's proof. So why were you.

Why were you homeless in the car? What was happening? Why were you not in your foster home at that point?

I ended up leaving my foster family, and I found my mother, and she ended up. I spent some time with her, and then there was a lot of, like, resentment issues and a lot of fights and everything. And then she got married.

Yeah. I wonder why. Yeah.

Then she ended up marrying an amazing man. And at the time, I didn't Think he was amazing. I just thought he was coming to again me dealing with my abandonment issues. So here's somebody that's taking the love away from my mom, right? So then I ended up moving to Orlando. She left me with her mom, and then her mom was gone for a while, so I was literally by myself. And then I started my high school friends who, their parents were very successful. They were like, hey, just come and stay with us, you know what I mean? And like, we'll cook for you, we'll bow, whatever, you know. And then. And I was with them for a while that way. And then I was able to purchase my own car. I had like three different jobs and. And then, yeah, I just started. I got my own apartment. I think I was like 17 or something like that. And, you know, that's how my journey began. And I was like, all right, I'm doing this on my own. And every friend that I had, their parents all bought them a car. Their parents, like, you know, I did this on my own money and like.

You know, so, yeah, so super accomplished. So then things are working well. And I know you ended up getting married, and I know this is hard, too. So I'm sorry, but I want to really paint the picture so everyone understands everything that you've been through, because it's really quite the journey. So what happened then? How did you end up. You ended up married and then what happened?

Well, I ended up moving to New York City at the age of 20 and then met my ex husband at the age of, I think, like 21 or 22, and pretty much stopped everything that I was doing in order to commit myself to a relationship with him. And, you know, we moved back to Miami. I started a real estate business. That's when, you know, the real estate market was hot and popping. And, you know, I luckily found a business partner that came in, gave us the money to start flipping properties. And then in 2008, the market collapsed. And we know what happened. I really thought I was on my journey of creating wealth and millions of dollars and that I was going to be able to change the world and change my family's life and all that stuff. And then I found myself in square one again. And I said, there's got to be a better way. And at the time, my ex husband had like, long. He's Cherokee Indian and Italian and German. He had like this thick, long hair, and it was beautiful. And I told him, if we're going to do business, you need to cut your hair. You know, you got to look Professional, whatever. And he was kind of ready to get let go of that, too. And I remember sitting on my couch and I was like, what are we going to do? And at the time, MySpace was hot. So I was like, he was looking for a beauty salon to cut his hair, and we couldn't find anything online. And this light bulb went on in my mind, and I was like, omg, we can start Hair Society. And at the time, it was called the Pro Stylist. And I was like, we can create a MySpace for the hair industry and where hair designers and fashions and makeup artists can come and showcase their work in the before and after. So that started a whole new journey of five years. And, you know, at the time, they used to charge us so much. I'm sure you remember 10, 15, 20 grand to build a website. You remember when it used to be that expensive, and I was literally just working for that, and I was the investor in the business. And then that majorly failed. And then we had an investor come in trying to put in a million dollars. Then he disappeared with all of our intellectual property.

And then, like, you couldn't get a break. You just couldn't get a break.

So it's just like hitting a wall. Hitting a wall. And that's okay. That happens in life. So how are you going to overcome that? How are you going to step into the best version of you? Because of that stuff that happened, right? So then when that happened, I ended up finding him a job that he was making $7,000 a month, which is a lot of money. And, you know, and he cheated on himself. You know, he just thought that there was better options out there for women. And I decided that I'm not gonna stay with somebody who's gonna cheat on me. I deserve better than that. And his excuse was that I emasculated him. He needed to prove his worth by getting attention from other women. And that's fine, too. You know what I mean? And I think a man that says that he just doesn't know how to step up as a man to contribute to his woman.

So, Melissa, so much stuff from the time you were born, like, literally over and over again, like, it's like you couldn't get a break. What do you think was meant to be seen by all of this happening over and over again? Like, what have you learned from this? Because it's like, first of all, I can't say it enough. I love your commitment to not being a victim. It's so incredible. And I'm going to. I have A bunch of questions about how you stay committed to that. But how. What are the lessons that you. When things happen again, are you now looking at it like, here we go again, or is it like, what do I going to learn from this? Like, what happens now when there's a setback because you've just had so many of them.

I kind of chuckle now and I'm just like, okay, what is this preparing me for?

Interesting.

Because every time there's been a setback and I have my heart broken, something better comes along the way. Like, you know, six months later or a year later, two, three or four years later, you know what I mean? It's always something better. And then whatever better happens than when that defaults, then something better even happens. You know what I mean? So you can't preach something you haven't lived. And I truly believe that, you know, the universe or God, whatever you want to call it, is using me as a beacon of hope, a beacon of voice, a beacon to be able to impact the world with my stories. So I'm kind of like, bring it up.

So what do you.

What do you.

What did you do? Or how did you become so able to focus on solutions? Like, do you remember making a decision around that? Or did somebody teach you that? Or, like, what was the light bulb moment? Was it your faith in God? Like, what helped you to do that? Because, and I'm asking also for the person that's stuck right now, because I know, I know there's always someone. I get messages every time I do a show like this. Somebody's like, wow, I'm exactly where she was. And I needed to hear that. So I want to help them too. Like, what was, was it a decision? What changed for you to be able to focus on solutions and how to not be in that mindset?

Well, number one, I want to honor anyone that's listening right now that's going through a hard situation and you're trying to break through from it. You know, we've all been there. And what I can say about that is I remember looking at my family and looking at my mother and the stuff that I, that I went through and I said to myself, I never want to be like them. I never want to cause this pain on anybody. I never want to be struggling for money. I never want to be homeless in my car again. I never. So what am I going to have to do in order for me to commit to my life, to get out of that situation? So that's the answer for me.

How were you able to forgive your parents and what's your relationship with them now, and what did that do for you to be able to forgive?

You know what's crazy? I've been getting. I mean, I got into personal development six, six years ago, thank God. And I remember really struggling with my mindset and trying to overcome that, which is the reason why I become a high performance mindset coach. But then it wasn't until recently, I think like a year and a half ago or two years, where I started getting into spirituality and meditation and reiki healing and all that stuff. And I remember I went to have a podcast interview like you and I are doing, and it was in person. And the moment she hugged me. Her name is Maya. She's a spiritual healer. I came with makeup done, happy da da da da. And she hugs me and she goes, what's wrong? That was her first thing. She's like, I feel your energy. What's wrong? And I sat down and I was just like, I don't know. Like, I'm overwhelmed with emotions right now. And she literally gave me like a 30 minute consultation that gave me a breakthrough. And after we did our podcast, I ended up getting in my car and I felt a voice that said to me, call your mother, your biological mother, and tell her that you forgive her. And my mother, she's epic. Like, she was able to go through heroin addiction, getting deathly sick, to committing herself to God, where she now has her own little church and community in her place. And I know she's always looked for my approval. I'm not trying to brag about myself, but I am her golden child. From the three of them that she had, I've been the one to kind of overcome everything and doing better out of the three of us. And, you know, she just always. I knew she always does everything to please me. Like, what do you want?

What do you need?

So I called her and I was like, hi, Mom. And she said, mellie, she always gets excited when I call her, and she's like, oh, my God, how are you doing? I was like, mom, I just want to tell you that if I ever offended you, if I ever hurt you, I just want you to forgive me. And when I said that, she just started crying. And she's like, I've been waiting so many years to hear that. And she's like, they don't have to ask me for forgiveness. You know what I mean? She's like. She's like, I love you. And, you know, and ever since I did that, it was like a thousand Bricks that were lifted off of my shoulders. And my relationship has never been better with my mom. And it's so funny because I am so much like her, which is hilarious. She's had her Church for 20 years now. Like, she's created a community where they come and they. If they need money, if they need food, if they need any type of nurturing, she's there. And in a way, church is epic talks, you know, like, where I've been able to come together and love and all that stuff. So that was powerful for me.

Your mom is in recovery. Obviously, she's recovering.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, she's. She's been out of that for 25 years now.

Wow. Wow. How powerful? Because, yeah, it sounds like your mom has just so much remorse, too, for what happened.

Yeah, yeah. And. But you know what she tells me? She's like, Melissa, she's like, I've been asking God for so many years to give me peace. And he's like. And the only reason why I've been able to keep myself sane is because I have found that peace within myself. She's like, you can't give it to me. My son can't give it to me. My little daughter can give it to me. Nobody. She's like, I found it within myself.

Now, how are you still. Do you have a relationship with your siblings and how are they doing?

I don't talk to my older brother, and there's plenty of reasons for that. My little sister just recently saw her again, and, yeah, she's doing amazing. I'm proud of her. I ended up having custody of her when I was 18 years old. The foster care system randomly found me, and she was going to juvenile prison because of something she had done. And they said to me, the only thing that will save her is you taking custody of her.

It's really so interesting talking to you because anytime we look at kids involved in drugs or crime or delinquent, whatever it is, usually there's a story behind it like this. And I think humans tend to forget that. That kids are doing the best they can do with the circumstances that they came from.

Exactly.

Just like your mom was doing the best that she could with what was happening to her. And then it sounds like you got. I mean, of course you all got into trouble. What, you didn't have any other kind of role model or help or love or that unconditional that. I think kids all are looking for and need. What about your dad? Any relationship with him? Is he still alive?

Well, he's still alive because if he'd be dead, I would have known about it. I haven't spoken to him in public probably 20 years. I don't care to. I don't think that just because you're bonded by blood that you need to. You. You just know when something is rotten, you know what I mean? Unless like a huge, some type of, I don't know, phenomenon event happens or whatever. Like I just, I just decided not to because I know he hasn't changed, you know, and I just don't want.

So he's still into the drugs and to whatever was that lifestyle. Got it. Okay. So I want to pivot a little bit because you really have grown so much. And I would love to hear because you've been very quick to acknowledge that you still have abandonment issues. You still obviously have sad feelings around all this, which is totally expected. What happens now in life when there is a setback or when you do feel abandonment issue coming up, or my gosh, you go to date or whatever it is and you have these stories from your past, like, what are the tools that you use to stay in this creation mindset and keep moving forward and creating the greatness that you've created?

Okay, so I know my triggers, right? So when it happens, I acknowledge it. I'm like, okay, remember where this comes from. This has nothing to do with the person that you're with. Right. And right now I'm with an amazing man. He's the man of my dreams. Right. And it's a six month relationship. Yes. Are we still in the honeymoon stages? Absolutely. Have we gotten into a little bickering and stuff like that? Yes. Has he kind of distanced himself a little bit because of the bickering? For a day? Yes. But then instead of me going into my abandonment mode, because I know where that comes from, I'm like, nope. I'm like, let it sit. It's fine. Give this time, give this space. Nobody's going anywhere and just acknowledging it, you know? And then if I'm still having trouble with it, I go watch and watch a video. I go to YouTube and watch something that kind of reminds me, you know what I mean? Because it's like, like, it's like when a baby touches a hot pan and they get burned. They're going to remember that. Right. So I truly believe you're always going to get triggered with certain things, especially when it was extremely traumatic for you. Right. So just acknowledging that moment, taking a step back, accepting it, and knowing that you've become that person because of that, does that make sense.

So good. So good. So the person listening right now that's like, okay, Melissa, I'm hearing you, I hear your story, but my gosh, I'm so stuck. Like, I feel that there's all these. They're in the situation of all these things happening to them and they just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel or how to get out. What would you tell them right now? What could they do? What do they need to create or do or think or focus on to change that?

Finding clarity in your life, finding 100% clarity in your life. And I truly believe that a lot of people are stuck into depression and they're sad is because they don't know how to get out of it. They don't know a better way. They don't know what their purpose in life is. They don't know what their strengths are. And for me, in order to create who I am now, I dove deep into personal development. I made it my religion. I invested in myself. You know, the only reason why I'm sitting here in front of you right now is because six years ago I made the decision that I'm going to get into personal development and I'm going to change my life. You know what I mean? Not only Jill was able to do it, I can do it. If Chris Lee was able to do.

It, I can do it.

All these other powerful leaders that have gone through the freaking dirt, you know, to coming powerful they are right now, they did it because they made the decision I want to change in my life. And guess what? I did. I invested in coaches. I invested in programs that were going to help me out. I invested in becoming the best version of myself. And every single day, I still wake up and I say myself, who is Molitza going to be today? What does she want to accomplish? What are the three things that she's going to do today that's going to help her step into the next best version of her?

So good, Melissa. So I recently changed the name of my podcast. It used to be called Leveling Up. It's now called Listen up because I think it more important everyone. It's also ways of leveling up. Right? But I think there's always some takeaways. If you got the podium right now, and I'm. The whole world is listening to you and you're going to say, listen up. What do you want people to know?

Oh, wow, that's a really good question. I want people to know that no matter what happens in your life, you are Created for greatness. And you could definitely own your power. And another important thing for me is who are the top five people you're surrounding yourself with? Who are the people that you're taking advice from? Who are the people that are in your group chat, in your text messages? Women. I mean, we're in a group chat together. They're all powerful women. Right?

Yeah.

We inspire one another. Hey, ladies, I got this going on, if any, whatever. We're there for each other. Right. And I truly believe that when your circle of trust is not strong, you're gonna fail, you know? And I had to literally get rid of people that I truly loved, that I truly loved, because they weren't leveling up. They were stagnant. They were. They saw me grow and growing, and they wanted to stop me.

Yeah, right.

Oh, well, why are you doing these events then? That's not going to go. Don't do this fitness championship. Don't write this book. Why are you writing this book? Why do you want so much attention? Like, I don't want attention. I want to create an impact in this world, you know, it's not about that. So literally letting go of those bad seeds, they will not allow you to grow.

Oh, so good. Okay, Melissa, everyone needs you more in their life. How do they find Epic Talks? How do they find you? Where do they. Where do they go? I know Epic Talks is in Miami, but I'm assuming, can people listen in from anywhere, tell people where to find more to learn from you?

Definitely. I mean, they can look us up on Instagram, Epictox Miami. Also the website epictox.org for more information and to find me as well. Melissa.com all my information is there. The information on my book detoxify your mind, which is I share the principles that I basically created in my life in order for me to step into the best version of me.

So good. I'm put all the links in the show notes if you want to find her easily. If you go to my Instagram, I am following her so you can look for her name there under my following. And if you like this episode, please please rate it, review it, share it with others. Tag both me and Melissa if you share it on Instagram or Facebook or wherever you're sharing it. And thank you so much for joining. And thank you so much, Melissa.

Thank you, Natalie. I love you. Thank you.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to listen in as my guest today. If you found this episode valuable, please share it with friends and on social media. I don't advertise this show, so I rely on word of mouth and reviews to get it out in the world. The biggest thank you that you can give me is Leaving me a review. And a nice one. I hope. By the way, this is how others find these episodes. If you do leave me a review, be sure to Message me@supportataliejofitness.com with a screenshot of your review because I would love to send you a free digital download of my DSR journal as a thank you. And please don't forget to connect with me on social media at Natalie Jill Fit on Instagram and Facebook.