Community, Fashion and Connection in Midlife with Lindsey Schwartz

Today on Midlife Conversations, I'm excited to be talking with Lindsay Schwartz. Now she's not only an author and investor, a master community builder and the founder of PowerhouseWomen, but she's my new friend in Arizona. And we had been following each other on social for quite some time back. Probably from fitness days, I'm assuming. Lindsay from fitness days, probably. But what I love about Lindsay and what I have been dying to interview her about for you all is her power in community, the importance of community, how she's built it. She's got this knack for pulling people, especially powerhouse women, together. And this is so important, especially, especially now with how divisive our world has been the last few years. I hear from women continually how divisive it's gotten and how much harder it is to meet like minded people, to find community, to find friends. So many questions for you today, Lindsay. So thanks for being here.

I'm so excited to have this conversation.

So I want to back up a minute because I'm assuming you didn't grow up thinking I'm going to be a community builder for powerhouse women.

No. What did that come about? So my start was in health and fitness. I'm guessing that's probably around the time that we connected because I was doing the whole fitness competition thing, had some supplements, network marketing company I was aligned with and I loved it. But I always had this feeling there was more. There was just something else for me and. And around my mid-30s I really started to just feel restless. It led me in this direction I never thought I would take, which is that I ended up self publishing a book. Really just I don't know if anyone else can relate to this. I just needed to kind of like shake myself out of this walking coma I was in. Like I had achieved this level of success, but I didn't really feel fulfilled. Cause I don't think I was really challenging myself to try new things or attempt things I didn't know I would be good at. And I didn't really think that I would finish writing this book, you know, better than anyone, it just takes a lot. And I was still very stuck in who's going to read it, who am I to do this. So it ended up inspiring this bigger conversation which was pretty simple. That what I wanted to write about and what I ultimately did write about was this idea that, you know, I think it's easy to look around at people who have success, especially with social media and think, well, they can do it, but I can't. Or here all the reasons why I'm not qualified to do that. And every woman I would talk to who was having these thoughts of, gosh, there's more for me in the very next breath, she would tell me why she didn't feel ready. She didn't know the right people, didn't have a big enough audience. All the things that I'm like, well, wait a minute, I. I feel that way every day. I. I never feel completely confident. Like, maybe we're not sharing enough of the real story behind the scenes of what this looks like, especially back in the days of, like, the perfectly curated Instagram. So it led me to write my.

Book because it's so interesting, because I don't know anybody that's super successful that doesn't feel that way. So this is the big secret. I mean, I don't know anyone that's like. And anyone that says they're just, oh, I'm fully confident. I don't ever have that. I don't believe them because.

Or then they're not really stretching themselves. They're probably not working towards something that is bringing them to that feeling. Because I think you're supposed to feel that way.

Yeah. So you decide. So you had this idea to write the book. You didn't really know that you would do it. How did you battle those thoughts every day? I call them false, assume truth. Like these, these. This voice in your head that's telling you, why can't. Why you shouldn't. How did you. Did you just do it anyway? And you kind of shut up. That voice or what? How did you navigate that?

Yeah. So luckily now, looking back, it was kind of a combination of three things. I had joined a program to help aspiring authors finish this book, kind of do this hybrid self publishing model. What that gave me number one, I'm too proud and cheap to spend my money on something and then not get the value out of it. So, quite literally, the fact that I was invested helped me to keep showing up, even in the. On the days that I really, really wanted to quit. The second thing was I already knew what it felt like to have a big idea and then quit on it. I had bought podcast equipment years earlier, thought I was going to start a podcast, never did. So I kept going back to that fact of, like, you know what it feels like already. You know how that story plays out if you, if you cute quit, which is what I like to call it. It's like that quit, where you're not even being honest with yourself and saying, like, oh, this sucks. I'm scared I want to quit. And it was more like, oh, this just isn't a good time. And justifying. You justify it logically and make it sound cute so that you don't have to. Because none of us want to identify as quitters. So I do this, like, cute quit, where I'd be like, oh, my bandwidth right now. Right? We, like, have all these cute ways of saying it. But every time I would show up to these calls as part of my program, we'd have to read part of what we wrote out loud, which in itself was terrifying for a recovering perfectionist. But every time these women on the call would say, gosh, I needed to hear that today. And I remember being so pissed, like, damn it, I was gonna quit today. Like, today was the day I was gonna kind of like turn in my notice and say, oh, this just isn't a good time for me. And then I just kept coming back to this thought, like, well, what if I don't? What could happen if I don't? And I finished the book, ended up titling the book Powerhouse Woman Just one. And that went on to inspire this event which became the community. Obviously, that's glazing over a lot of other lessons along the way, but it really was just that commitment to doing something that I didn't know I could do in order to. To almost like meet a new version of myself is what I didn't know I was looking to do. And ultimately what changed my life.

So you took this big, scary step, despite all the voices, and I love that you had this whole idea of accountability. And I'm going to invest in myself and make it happen. So how did that go from that to an event? Because I like looking at you online right now, or women listening looking at you online, they're like, oh, if I had that big audience or if I knew those people, or they're. They're putting this if I. Right. But you didn't actually have that writing this book. So how did that bridge, like, what, did that just give you that permission to take that next step? Or what happened?

Mm. So we're seven years in for perspective. So if anyone is looking at the most recent event where we did have 600 women in a room, that's seven years of cultivating this community, which I love talking about because it. I didn't start with that, but what, what happened was the, the program I was a part of. So it was a hybrid, self published. The publisher editor that I worked with said you should do a book launch event. You know, Because I was doing all the marketing for it and I was like, well, heck, I know nothing about putting on an event, but when I look back at that, at that time frame, what I was starting to realize is that I know we're going to dive into this. It's connection and feeling a part of something is ultimately what we're all craving. And I realized that as I was having these conversations that were within the book about my own struggles, it actually had people relate to me, but also had them feel really seen and not alone in the struggles they were feeling. So it was pretty easy for me to think, well, okay, what would it look like to have these conversations in a room, maybe invite some women. But my vision for it, and I love sharing this part because if people see the event now, my vision for it was literally to have it in someone's living room. Really, Like I was going to have like a little tiny little book launch.

Celebration, like a tea party.

That's a much cuter version than even what I was envisioning. And I did expand the vision eventually. For that first year, I think we had about 100 women in the room. And, and it was the first one.

Was there 100 at the first. And so you didn't, you didn't think this, you're thinking, I'm gonna have an open room. So like, how did that even happen? Did you start inviting people and you had more yeses than thought that what happened?

Well, I, I wish I could tell you that I even know where they all came from. I remember the, the doors opening and people coming in and I was like, I don't know any of these people. How did they find it?

Sure.

But here's what I will share. I remember this moment where I had the aha. That I didn't need to know. I think at that point I was like, well, maybe we could have 50. That felt like such a stretch. I don't need to know 50 people who would come because people look at my network now and I could probably make a list of 50. I couldn't make that list back then, but I remember sitting down with a pen and paper, old fashioned, and I made a list of 10 women who could probably invite five friends. And that was the point, kind of going back to community, realizing that, oh wait, this doesn't have to just be on me. What if I share this vision with people who are willing to share the vision? And it grew from there. So luckily we had some speakers that were willing to share it. And I just think that I didn't know what I didn't know. So I didn't know it was supposed to be hard to fill this event. I just was sharing this passion, and I think it was at a time that people were really looking for it. So very first event, it still seemed so small to me because it was only a half day. That's all I could even wrap my mind around. To see what it's evolved to today is just really cool.

So, Lindsay, if you had done that first event and 10 people had showed up or five people had showed up because it wasn't in your vision to have this, would that have stopped you? Or do you think you would have kept going? Like, I'm. Because somebody listening might think that. And I want to. I want to interrupt that as well.

That's such a great point. So maybe I'll share this version of it. I don't think I would have stopped because I was actually having the events with five people or two or there was one where no one showed up. There was. Before this book ever came out, I was.

Wait, tell us about the one where no one showed up. I need to hear this.

Okay. So I used to host this little lunch called Ladies who Lunch. Okay, I know brilliant branding. And I. I remember it was in a season where I was just wanting to connect more. Kind of like you. I was newer to Phoenix and I was looking to grow my network and. And have something to invite women to connect with each other. So I, once a month, I would rent out this room at a restaurant, would host this event. And I did. Sometimes two people came. There was one where 20 showed up. And I remember being so nervous to facilitate conversation. And then, of course, there was the one that no one showed up. And I remember this. The waiter was this, like, teenage boy and felt so bad for me not realizing I'm actually more of an introvert. So it was fine. I was just going to eat lunch by myself.

But I also knew, well, that was a cute quit. That was a cute quit. I was going to. I was going to just eat by myself anyway.

He's just going to. Well, so it wasn't. I felt like in that moment I knew, oh, this is just kind of like this. The one of the things you go through in starting to build something like this. So I think that had that first event been smaller, it. It wouldn't have deterred me. But what actually made it become something that went beyond just that first day was when some of the women there said, okay, when's the next one? And I remember sitting on Like, I waved everyone at the end. I was like, well, thanks for coming. And they're like, when's the next one? Or what do you have for us? And I was like, quite literally nothing. I have not thought beyond this point, but it was that desire from other people that they wanted to connect. And I realized that I did really love it. So it started to grow from there.

I have so many questions. So, okay, did you charge for these first ones? Or were you. And because that's another thing, I think women, they say, they're like, I'm not gonna charge. They. It's like, almost like they're. They're not going to put value on themselves and say, I'll just do it for free. So I'm assuming, did you. Did you charge or. And how did you decide to do that? And did you have that story in your head, like, I should do this for free?

So the lunches that I used to do were free. You just paid for. For your meal. But I do remember having that exact same fear when I went to put out the very first Powerhouse Women. Eventually, that event with a hundred people, I think the tickets were $70. Such a random amount, not even 75 or 170, because what it was is it was the maximum that I could imagine someone paying to come to this thing that I. That I didn't even know what it was because I had no proof of it. I had all these stories just like you're saying of, well, you're thinking people for this.

Okay, got it. So you just picked a number based on that, and that's what you went with.

Purely out of nowhere. I think it was. Yeah, it was under $100. And I just remember being floored that people actually bought them.

What did you learn about connection and women through this? Because there's a couple reason I'm asking this. There's. There's somebody listening right now that's thinking, I should host something like this. And then there's somebody also listening, saying, I don't want to host something like this, but I should attend something like this. Talk to us about the importance of connection or what you've learned and what you've experienced and any advice you'd have to either of those women.

Okay, so for someone sitting there thinking, gosh, I have been thinking, I'd love to be the one who starts connecting people, whether that's in an event or at a coffee shop. What I realized ultimately was the value that I bring didn't have to be that I was the most impressive speaker or I had all these things, life changing things to say. It was the fact that I was willing to bring people together, the environment that I create for them to be able to connect with like minded people was the value. That is a value that now people pay hundreds of dollars to come and spend one day at our events. And it's, yes, it's because we have great speakers, but I remember feeling like I had to get these big name speakers otherwise no one was going to come just for me or just for these.

But that was your story, right? You realize that now? That was your story.

It was. And that that's actually the opposite. One of the best things that I did and anyone who's thinking about being that connector is I asked for people's feedback when they bought the ticket. Hey, what's the number one thing you want to get out of this? And I remember that second year thinking, gosh, if I don't have a big name speaker, will people come? And when I went to the comments to see what do people want to get out of this, every single person just said connection. And I realized that's all I had to provide. So on that side of things, I think the person who is feeling a call to be the connector, that probably means you're supposed to do that and you just start, start small. It, you know, even today when I start new things, I start small just to test.

It's so interesting you say that because I look at you as the super powerful connector. I see you as that. And I, and I'm, and I also see who you bring in to speak at your events. And I've always thought looking at your events is, she doesn't even need, I mean, you've got great speakers. And I'm like, you don't even need them. I feel like people would show up regardless. So it's interesting that you just pointed that out because I think it's, it is a story lot of women hold, including you apparently, of like, oh, but I need to have these names or I need to have this. I have countless, countless entrepreneur clients that I watch like spend so much money on speakers and I'm thinking you don't. That's not what they're coming for. It's so wild.

Well, you know what's funny? Because it switched. So that was my 2018 story. That was the year that I realized, wait, the value is in the connections with each other. Now my, my view is actually the opposite. My view is these speakers who have become my friends, they're amazing women in the industry. I actually get to do them a favor by allowing them to come in to our community because we really have like the die hard of all die hard.

So you flipped it.

It's really good because I never expect a big name speaker to fill my event. People are going to come to my event because. And it's not even my event, it's our event. They're going to come because of the energy and that connection we create. So it's now that very much is the case. And your second part of the question was for someone who really is craving that connection and maybe they're seeing events like whether it's powerhouse women or someone else's event online and thinking, gosh, do I belong in a room like that or am I worthy of those kind of connections? I think I said earlier, I am so much more an introvert at heart. I actually have in my past struggled with a lot of social anxiety, putting myself into new spaces. So I get, and I really honor that. It can feel like for some women, just walking in the room is their breakthrough. Anything else they get that's on top, cherry on top. But I have met so many women who feel really lonely, especially the ones who feel really ambitious and they're the most ambitious person in their friend circle and their family. I am that person also. So I get it.

Yeah.

And the people you want to connect with aren't going to come to your doorstep. They're not going to knock on your door and say, gosh, I heard you're new to the area. I, I heard you were looking for some friends here. Why don't you come and connect with me? But the moment you put yourself in communities and in rooms where those people hang out, they actually want to connect with you just as much as you want to connect with them. So that's why I love curating spaces. Whether it's events or now we're doing it on a smaller scale with some in person live podcast events where we only have like 25 to 30 women in the room. And because I know that my gift is curating the environment for that connection to happen.

Yeah, you're a facilitator.

Exactly. And if given the opportunity and if you're feeling that call to connect, it just means like, go find the room that starts to. That resonates with you, whether it's an event that we're doing or someone else. But I just think so many of my friendships have started in rooms like that.

That's amazing. So if I'm hearing you correctly, so the person that is listening. That's like, I'm a connector. I want to do this. You're going to tell them just to go for it anyway. Just do something, even if it's small and the person that is nervous to attend something, you're going to say also, just do it anyways.

Do it.

Surprised at who else is there and that they might be feeling the same way.

Yeah. And if it makes it feel easier, find a buddy, even if it's a buddy that isn't as into this idea of connection as you are. That's my actual secret, is I'll just find someone who's willing to go with me even if I have to pay their way. Like, if I really want to be there and I really am struggling with, like, showing up by myself, I will pay for someone else to go with me just so that I have, like, that security blanket friend.

Yeah.

When I was in the early, early days of starting to attend some of this stuff.

Okay, I'm going to ask you something maybe a little out there that just kind of came to me, but if you were to move someplace else, you're moving to, I don't know, you're moving to another city, and you happen to know nobody there. Nobody knows you. You're, like, starting over right now. So they don't know you online. They don't know. So you're in both of those boats. You're a connector, and you want to meet people. Would you repeat the same pattern? What would you do? Starting all over?

I think I would start with making connections for me and maybe spend the first 30 to 60 days doing that, but doing it in things. Like, one of my passions right now is I love dance. So I'd find a great dance class. I would find, you know, things that are aligned with my other interests. I love to work out, and I feel like I've seen you do this now that you're, you know, in a new city, too. And then, yes, I would start small and just assume that if I want to connect with other people, other women probably do too, and probably just do it at a coffee shop. Say, like, hey, the third Friday of the month, I'm just gonna host this little, like, collaboration hour. We're gonna come together to share what we're up to. And. And I think now that I've had the story of, like, yeah, I've had it where no one showed. I didn't die. It was fine. It really, really. I think it's like, if you can get over the ego part, it's like, it Was. It was December. Everyone was busy with Christmas. I get it. So I don't think there's any fear there. But whatever the fear is, I always say, like, go to the worst case scenario. If your biggest fear is, oh, if I host this event, will no one show up? Let yourself go there and say, like, okay, what would I do if no one shows up? Let's say you spent money, you paid for the room. There were actually, like, financial things on the line. Okay, great. Could you salvage that in some other way? Could you make it a win? Even if there's no one in the room, maybe you still get video footage of you speaking on stage even though there's no audience acting as if. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's like, would that probably suck? And could you have real emotions about it? Absolutely. It's easier said than done. But if you let yourself go to the worst possible case scenario, ask yourself, what would I do if that happens?

Good.

Then at that point it's like, well, what do you have to lose, really?

I'll share that. For those of you listening, some of you know this, some of you don't. I mean, I moved to Scottsdale recently for four weeks before we were recording this. And I didn't know one person here. I mean, it really did not know anybody here. And I joined a Facebook group, which is so out of my character because I've got that introvert side, like you talk about. And I posted that I wanted to find people that would love to go hiking. And I couldn't believe it. I thought one girl was meeting me and nine did. So it was like, instantly met nine people, like hiking. It was fun. I messaged people like Lindsay, who I didn't know you, but we knew people that knew each other. I just connected with you. And we ended up meeting for lunch. So I'm walking through. I've walked through what we're telling you all listening to do too. So same, same thing, same thing.

And I think that's such a great point. And I, I did the same thing when I first moved to Phoenix. Now for me, it's been about 15 years, but realizing that if you take the expectation that you're not trying to meet your best friend tomorrow, you're just looking to meet some people. And then in that group of nine, maybe one or two, you really resonate with. And I, I had so many first friend dates when I first moved to town. And it's okay if, like, it just doesn't really ever go beyond that first friend date. You just never know who you're gonna connect with.

It's true. It's kind of. It's like dating your. Your guy. I mean, it's like when you meet, if you think about it that way, and I, from that friend from that hike, there's a girl that I have ended up working out with a few times. So it's like, I totally agree with what you're saying there. I want to talk about something else that is super unique that you do that I thought I've got. This is actually the main reason I wanted to have you on. I forgot about this. But this was the main reason I wanted to have you on here.

So.

So when I look at Lindsay's events and I've never been in transparency, I've not been to her events yet. I'm gonna have to go to the next one. But I've not been to her events yet. But I always watch because I've always seen them online and I have friends that have spoken at them. So I see. And it's like this full fashion expression show and I. And it caught my attention because I post a lot, especially for midlife women, about if you don't express yourself now, when will you. And I happen to be someone who loves fashion and I don't follow rules and I, you know, I will dress up and create things that I want to dress up in just because it feels like me and I want to express myself. So I notice that people really stretch themselves at your event. Where did that come from? And what have you seen that do for women?

It's so funny. I giggle every time this topic comes up. It's one of my favorite to talk about because I love to share the story of how for me, being stylish, feeling fashionable, being much less having people. Now it's to the point where there's a whole conversation thread leading up to the event on Instagram about what will Lindsey wear this year? Like, what's her outfit? It's like. And it's funny to me because had we met seven years ago when I was going through that transformation process, writing my first book, I had this story about myself. I used to call myself the vanilla sister.

Oh my gosh. Right?

I have this very fashionable younger sister who is just what I. What I admire about her is she just really is her own person. She's always been really self expressed and. And I just had this story that I was more like dressed really classic. I kind of dressed more to fit in. And then one day, I don't know if you've had any. An experience like this, Natalie. But where you hear yourself say it and then you're like, oh, that's how. That's how I've been describing myself. And what happened is in the book writing process, I changed so much on the inside. I realized that the outside didn't match anymore. I quite literally would walk into my closet and I would be like, whose clothes are these? Wow. And it. It set me on this journey of. I. I believe heavily in mentorship. So I've hired. I literally hired style mentors to teach me how to dress for this new identity I knew I was stepping into. And so I've worked with different people over the years. I still love to this day working with a different person who can just see me through a lens of, like, they don't know me. They don't know the past me. And what that did was I started to share that story more with our community because I do believe that, like, the way I present myself, even if it's something small, like. Let me give you a small example. Before pre book, Lindsay, I felt so weird if I ever would wear, like, a bold, bright lipstick, just, you're wearing, like, the most beautiful pink lipstick today. And I. I remember I used to feel what it was is I. I felt like it was too. It was. It stood out too much. It was too much attention on me. But what I would say is I was like, oh, I feel like I'm like a little kid playing dress up. Like, it just doesn't look right on me. And so I started to experiment with, like, the things that I. I actually would look at other women who were wearing these amazing bold lip colors and be like, oh, that looks so good on her. Meaning it was resonating with me. I wanted to embrace that, but I had this story why I couldn't. And I just started to experiment in little ways. Wearing a. Like, there was a season where if I wasn't wearing red lipstick, people were like, oh, I didn't even recognize you, because it became such a staple. So I started to really just challenge myself. And I think this is so important as we age too. Like, as I get into my 40s, which I'm like, right on the doorstep of. I'm so excited about continuing to bring this in because it's always this question of, where am I telling myself the lie that, like, oh, I can't pull that off or that doesn't work for me. I bet there's a way I can find a way to have it work for me and my body Type and that it'll. It'll actually look better on me than I thought if I just give it a try. So this has become a story within our community. We have this hashtag people will use because I just started to say it's like styling your higher self. It's like styling that part of you that you want to bring out the energy you want to tap into. And the event happens to be just this really beautiful place where people were seeing me do that every year. I'm reinventing myself quite literally from the inside out. And the event is sort of that opportunity to step into that next version of myself and to see the way that the audience has also embraced it. You can almost tell the people who are there for their very first year versus when they come back year two and they're like, oh, we can go like so much further.

Yeah.

Then we thought that there's nothing that's off the table and there's nothing that wouldn't be embraced and celebrated. Whatever makes you feel most like a.

Power now somebody listening. I already, I'm reading your all's mind. I know, I know my listeners here, they're going, well, she's just the beginning of midlife. She just turned 40, she looks good and everything. So they've got these stories around that. And what I want to tell you all is I'm 52 and I agree with what she's saying. And I watch lots of women transform by doing this. So it's interesting because we want to hide behind, you know, the leggings and the baggy clothes and whatever it else that we're doing. And. But the second you do step into that what she's talking about and you do style yourself and you do dress up, it changes your whole mood, it changes your whole attitude, it changes everything. So. So I love what you said, even the lipstick example, because stepping into that new version of yourself, it's almost like putting armor on or putting a co. You get to put on a new version of yourself and try it on. I love that.

It's true. And do I know that it will change as I enter these different phases of life? Absolutely. But some of my biggest style icons are women who are in 60s and 70s, the ones that are still so self expressed. And I just, I. That's the way that I want to go into this second season of my life or are my midlife season is I want to continue that reinvention of myself on the inside and then dressing the part on the outside. And I don't think that Ever has an age limit.

Okay. So I also know what's coming up for people is the idea of other people's opinions. People pleasing.

Oh, yeah.

And I know you've experienced this, so help us with that.

Well, I am a recovering people pleaser. I. I like to say I have people pleasing tendencies. I don't ever claim to be a people pleaser. It's just a habit I learned very early in life. And. And it still is something that I have to be really mindful of. You know, it's easy to say, just don't care. Just don't care what people say. Of course we care. Of course we want to feel accepted. But I do think it's. It's kind of both sides. It's number one. When you're around the type of people that we're talking about and you're maybe craving connections with those choices are celebrated.

Yeah.

I think that's one of the reasons to find connection with people who are really leveling up in every area of life, because in those circles, you're not judged for those decisions. And, you know, at the end of the day, I don't imagine that many people on their deathbed are thinking, gosh, I. I really regret wearing that thing I wanted to wear that made me feel great. That, you know, even if someone judged it or someone had a side glance or you get the DM or the snarky look from a friend or family, it's sort of like sometimes that's revealing to us who isn't really meant to have close proximity in our life. Like, those just are. I mean, I remember I had this crazy outfit for two events ago. I had this long. I have a short blonde bob haircut. I had this long braid that went down to, like, my butt. And I remember saying to my mom, just don't. Don't show this to grandma. Like, I don't want to have to explain it. Like, not that I thought she would judge it, but it's more. I'm just in the season of life where I'm like, I don't really want to have to explain.

Yeah.

Because she's not going to get it. And I'm just gonna. I'm doing this for myself and for the people who get it, who understand that, like, this is literally like putting on a character to help me tap into the energy that, That I want to embody that's going to ripple into. Have a ripple effect on so many other people.

So if I'm hearing you correctly, it's not about. It's not about just ignoring it or it's, it's just either you just accept why you're doing it and then also you can just avoid some people's opinions if you want to. Is what I'm hearing from you, like if you know someone's going to make you feel bad, just avoid their opinion.

Just, just don't show grandma. Hashtag, hashtag don't show grandma. And I think it is, it's finding the people where that most self expressed version of you is celebrated. But then I think it also can be a mirror if, if what other people are thinking is, is stopping you from dressing a certain way, doing certain things. I think that's just a beautiful invitation to look within at that's probably stopping you from other things that you really want to do in life too. You never know what a little red lipstick can do to free you.

That's right. That's right. I do have two business questions and I know majority of you listening are not here for business reasons, but there's two things that you just have such a knack for that I'm so curious about. You had mentioned to me that just because somebody has an audience does not mean it's a community. Can you help explain what that means? Because there are entrepreneurs listening that they're trying to navigate that world and figure that out and, and they don't understand the difference between an audience and a community. And you seem to be someone who's really mastered curating it. So I'm curious about that.

Yeah, I love to talk about this with entrepreneurs. And for those of you that aren't entrepreneurs, I just want you to put yourself in the seat of how you feel in these different environments because it's going to, I think it starts to reveal to us why we love certain brands, certain personal brands versus others. And what I started to identify is, you know, from the very beginning powerhouse women has had, I have had a relatively small audience. Just in the last, I would say six months to a year. We've started to gain more traction now. You know, I think people looked at online it looks like we have a bigger audience but it's been, it's been slow going and it was small. I never saw that as a problem. I think that's number one. I always just realized I had to think differently. And without realizing it from the beginning, I prioritized something that's such the slight edge difference between an audience and a community. And I'm going to break it down like this. When I'm building my audience, I'm I'm trying to answer the question, okay, how do I get more people to connect with me, to connect with my brand, to know that I exist and want to follow along? That's valuable. We want people to know how amazing you are and all the amazing work you're doing. You're just stopping at a point where you have an opportunity to go so much deeper and cultivate more brand loyalty and trust. And that's to now ask the question, how do I get these people more of these people to connect with each other? Because the moment that I started to prioritize, not just attracting attention and thinking, I have to, like, have the newest, coolest, hottest thing on social media to keep their attention, What I realized is when women met their business bestie or their best friend group because of powerhouse women, or if they went through a program together, and now they finally feel like they found that community that they feel seen and heard and valued, that ultimately that provides a level of value that is hard to duplicate anywhere else. That the feeling of connection and belonging is actually, if you look at, like, the hierarchy of needs, it's just above food, shelter, and clothing.

Yeah.

It's important to feel like you belong and your brand can actually create that for people and become this unifying point where, you know, if I'm part of your community, midlife conversations, I know that. Oh, wow. The women who are having the kind of conversations that I want to have as I head into midlife are in your world. So it makes me want to plug in even more beyond just connecting with you. And that's the biggest difference.

So what I'm hearing, I don't even know if you recognize you said this, but what I'm hearing is that you just didn't make it about you. It's not about you. And I think so many people, more often than not, are making their brand about them, thinking, why aren't I getting more likes? Why aren't I getting more followers? Why aren't I getting more this? But they're not realizing they're making it about them. You did the actual opposite. You've never made it about you. You're making it about the experience, the connection and them. And I hope people are hearing that, because is when I look at someone's brand that's not working. It's because they're making it about them.

Yeah. It's so true. And. And there is. There is a role for you within the brand. So I do have a personal brand. I do have a place within the events, but the focus isn't on just me providing the value. The value, even back to our conversation about people come to the events not because of the stuff speaker lineup, but they come to connect with each other because that's always been what we've built into the fabric of the community is. The value isn't who you get to meet in the room. We're going to put some amazing speakers on stage because we want to give you that value too. But the ultimate value is how you feel about yourself and who you connect with while you're there.

I have one more business question for you, because this is something you do very different than others, including me. One of the things that I always have taught is to niche down, to answer, to solve one problem, to to have a solution to one problem and go very specific and narrow. You actually suggest something called a buffet year. Can you explain what that means?

Well, I love a good food analogy. So there's that about me and what I just remember being a new entrepreneur. So this, this isn't to refute the fact that, yes, the ultimate goal is to narrow it down because then you can go deep with your people. So if you're already there, this may not pertain to you. This is for those of you who have been sitting on the sidelines. You know you're meant for more. You really want to start a business or just start your own thing, even if it doesn't make any money. And you're paralyzed by this thought that you have to narrow down this perfect niche first. So what I did without realizing it, looking back at the early days of powerhouse women, is I had this season that I lovingly refer to as my buffet season. Here's what I mean by that. That if I think about eating at a buffet, which is hilarious because I don't remember the last time I actually ate at a buffet. Maybe at like a resort, I think.

When I was a kid, when my dad would take me because we had a coupon. But.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. So what I. What I remember about a buffet, all these different food types coexist in one space. But at the end of the day, let's just say you only have a big enough appetite to fill one plate of food, and that's your maximum. So you end up putting different things on your plate that look good, sound good, maybe smell good, but if I'm taking a bite of something after a few bites, if I'm like, oh, that's not good at all, I'm probably gonna clear that from my plate to make more room for something that does taste good. That does appeal to me. And I think what I ultimately did to get clear about the specific avenues that I wanted to offer within the business is I gave myself a little bit more freedom to try a couple of different ways of serving people all within one time frame with the understanding that my goal was to narrow it down. It was to eventually get clear about where I was best suited to serve. But there were some things I didn't know I didn't want to do until I did them. And so I. I really took 2019 and we tried different things. We took the Powerhouse women event on the road. We did two other cities. I realized that's a lot of work. I didn't want to do that, but I gave myself permission to try it. Because sometimes I think those of us that maybe like me, you feel paralyzed by the advice that you have to just really narrow it down. It might be limiting you. Like, imagine if you have blinders on and you just sort of like widen them a little bit. Maybe you're missing something over here to the right that you're not even considering because you're trying to go too narrow too fast. So what I did is I had a defined period of time where I was allowing myself to try a few different things. As soon as I realized it was not a fit, I would make plans to wrap that up, of course, like, making sure I was taking care of whoever maybe was paying me for that product or service. But then ultimately the goal was to narrow it down, and I took copious notes and feedback along the way. So it was this blend of, well, what does my community really want? But what. Where does that line up with where I am best equipped to serve? And so now we. We're at this point where we're actually going in the total opposite direction to your point of narrowing down a lot to even get more specific about the ways that we want to serve. But if that's for anyone out there who's feeling paralyzed, like you're not even getting started to try that first thing because you think you have to make the perfect choice right out of the gate.

But I also hear in that. Which was really good advice actually is it's. You didn't go to self beat up when something didn't work. So like, I think that's what happens and that's what stops a lot of you listening. I know this is that you. You try something, you're like, okay, that didn't go as well. Like you mentioned, you've given us several examples having hosting the luncheon and nobody shows up or taking it to on the road, and maybe that didn't go as planned, but what you've never done or that I know of, if you never said, oh, wow, that sucked, I'm a failure. It was just, okay, learned pivot, next step. And I think that is the reframe. Because if you put yourself in self beat up, you'll always find those ways to quit. Right. But if you completely, if you take it as what were the lessons? What do I do differently? What are my notes? What's the feedback? And then you pivot. You keep going.

Yeah, that's such a great point. It's so true.

This was so great, Lindsay. Okay, so the next question is, where do people find you and how do they go to one of your events and when do you have them? How do they. How do they find this? They're all going to want to go now, so how do they go?

I'm very biased. It's the best day ever, so I'll just say that. And it takes place in Scottsdale. You can come visit mine and Natalie's home. Now, we are very close to securing our dates. It's typically August, September of the year. And then because we're going all in on events this next year and our podcast, I always tell people the best way to stay in touch is just connect with our Instagram. It's powerhouse women. And you can find. I'm sure everything will be linked in the show notes too. But there's a lot of new things that we're going to be bringing to the community. More connection focused, going deeper in smaller groups of women, as well as our big, big event, which is going to be in August 2024. And amazing. I can't wait to announce more about that. Yeah.

Okay, so as of when, when you're listening to this, I'll have all this in the show notes. And as it gets closer, we'll update it with actual events so people know.

How to find the link.

So depending on when you're listening to this. Thank you so much, Lindsay. This is so good. Thank you.

Well, I'm so grateful you moved to my neighborhood and that we were willing to just reach out and make a random connection because it did end up in a friendship. And I think that is possible for everybody. And what a better way to illustrate what we talked about.

I love that. Thank you, Lindsay.