Final BEST YEAR EVER CLASS LIVE | Natalie Jill
Natalie Jill leads a live coaching session on goal setting and motivation. She walks participants through reflective exercises about their current state and future vision, including interactive moments with live attendees like Jen, to help clarify goals and the reasons behind them.
Hi, everyone. Can you hear me? Okay, wave if you can. Awesome. I just muted everybody. Let's make sure we mute everyone and you'll be able to unmute as you have questions. Thanks for joining me. We're going to be. This is the final Best Forever class that I'll be doing for 2019. And for those of you that are on live, amazing. If you're watching the replay, welcome as well. I'm so excited to be chatting with you. I've done a few of these classes and they've been really successful for people with giving you actual things. You can start taking into 2019 to make your best year ever. So I hope you find value in today. Before we get started, I want to go over a few little logistics on Zoom, if you're joining me live. So you know how to work this. If you're new to Zoom, this will be helpful. For starters, let me just share that you can turn video on or off. If you can have video on, that's amazing because then we're actually. It's like we're together really real time and I can see you, you can see me. And that way it's a lot easier to connect that way. So if you're open to having your video on, that would be amazing. So it'll feel more like a real class. That's the first thing. The second thing is you'll notice if you hover over your image, you can stop your video at any time. You can also mute or unmute. So I've started with it all muted. You can unmute yourself if needed. When we get into questions, there's also a chat box if you look to the right side of your screen, where you can at any time type questions that you have and communicate with other people on the class. That's a chat role that will go on if you write them publicly. Me and Liana, who's also on helping to moderate, we can see those questions and we'll make sure we address all questions. And then the final thing on Zoom, because I am going to be recording this. So that way, if you have to jump off at some time, I am going to be sending out the replay to those of you that were on live, so you will be able to circle back and watch this again later, which seems to be helpful. Now, before we get started, I am going to encourage you to grab notepad, paper, something to write with. That's going to help you a lot. You are going to want to write down things. I am actually going to take you through a few Assignments. And if you are open to them, they can actually help shift you towards your goals and getting them to happen quicker by just doing these assignments today. So grab a piece of paper and a pen if you can, so you've got that, so you can write things down. Okay. And then also further thing on asking questions, you can do that by either typing it in the comments or by physically raising your hand just like that. Or you can hover over your image and you can raise a cartoon hand. So any of those ways, I'll see that you have a question. I may not address them right while I'm in the topic, but I will make sure to answer every single question that comes up. Now, the class itself, we're going to be together for about an hour, 45 minutes or so, is going to be teaching you and having you go through some assignments. And then the last 15 minutes, I'm going to be presenting an opportunity for you guys and also taking unlimited questions and answers. So just so you can prepare your time. And I'll let you know when that's happening. So if you have to jump off, you can. If you don't want to stay on for question and answers, you don't have to. But I'll let you know when that's coming about. So I'm going to jump right into it. Okay. And then also one more last thing I forgot. There's a speaker view. You can press speaker view. That means you can see who's talking, or you can look at the class and that's the little dots you'll see on the top of the screen. So you can choose how you want to view this. All right, Ready to get started? All right. Okay. So first and foremost, what I love to start with is that if it was easy to achieve goals and have everything that we wanted, we wouldn't need to be here. Right? If it was super easy to just lose the weight, to get healthy, to make all kinds of money, to be in the relationship we wanted, it was really easy just to hit goals. We wouldn't need to be here. So I want to first point out that it's not as easy as people tell us it is. Like, we see memes that you just have to do this or you just have to do that. And I want to just acknowledge you that you are taking the time to be here, because it is not just as simple as that. There is a process to it. And that's what I want to start to share with you today. And this applies for whatever your goals are, whether they're with your health, your fitness, with your business, with your personal life, with finances, whatever it is. There is a. It's not as easy as people make it out to be, because the bottom line is, you guys really do know what to do with things. Like, we know the general ideas behind eating clean. We know the general ideas behind working out and having intensity. We know the general ideas about saving money or creating income. We know those general ideas, but it's not always as simple as that because we wouldn't need to be here, right? We wouldn't need to be here if it was just that super simple. So I want to ask you some questions to sort of prompt us, because I want to help get laser clear on where you're actually starting from to where you want to go. Now, if you were a weight loss client of mine and you were sitting in front of me, the very first thing I would want you to do is get on a scale and have measurements. And that seems painful for some people because they don't want to know. It's like, I don't want to know where I am. I just know I'm not happy. So they don't want to even jump on and know that. But you all know if you've ever worked with me or if you've worked with anyone in the weight loss space that you had to get real and know where you were starting from first. Okay, same thing. If you were sitting in front of me and you were a business development client, I would have to ask you some questions to get really real with, where are you right now? Like, what is happening in your business? What's happening with your job? Where are you income wise, we'd have to have a big reality check on where you are right now. So we knew we wanted to improve. Same thing. If you're listening in and you're feeling like, lost for a vision, like you don't know what your vision is, I'd have to know, okay, well, where are you right now? What's happening in your life? We'd have to take a step starting point test, right? We have to. And I call it the mirror reflection. So I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to write down your answers. No one's going to see these except for you. This is to help prompt getting really real with where you are now. So these questions may land with you, they may not. I'm asking questions based on the person I'm typically talking to. So for those of you that if you've never met me before, if you don't know me, I'm Natalie Jill. I'm 47 years old. I'm a licensed master sports nutritionist and a functional fitness trainer. And what I do is I kill fat for a living. So not just the fat in our bodies, the fat. I also call it false assumed truths, those things that stop us from achieving goals. And so the person I'm talking to with these questions is typically a woman close in age to me. So you're in your 40s or your 50s, and typically you feel these things. So if you are out of that scope, if you're listening in and you're a man, for instance, or you're a female, that's a lot younger or a lot older, that's okay. Just get the idea from the questions I'm asking to figure out exactly where you're starting from right now so we can figure out how to get you to move forward. Ok. All right, so here's the questions. Number one, are you feeling a little overweight or a lot overweight? And I want you to write down what you're feeling with that and use the word I'm feeling and get really real. This is just for you. So we have a starting point, but how are you feeling right now? Get really clear on that. So I'm feeling. And use the word that really explains it. So I'm feeling chubby, I'm feeling fat, I'm feeling a little overweight, I'm feeling whatever that is, but write that down. The next question is, do you feel like the ship has sailed? And I use these words and these questions because this is something that people have told me before. They say, I feel like it's too late, the ship has sailed, like, I'm too old for this now. It's too late for me. Do you feel that? And if so, write it down. Do you feel low on energy or tired or fatigued or exhausted? Write it down, whatever it is that you feel. Say, I feel tired or I feel lethargic or I feel low energy, whatever it is. Do you feel like you need energy? Do you feel like you're constantly low on energy and you need something for that? Are you constantly looking for caffeine or an energy shot or something to pep you up? Do you feel low on energy? Write that down if you do. What about exhausted? Use that word. Do you feel exhausted? Write it down if you do. Do you feel that it is too late for you to reach your goals? I'm asking you these questions not to bring you down. By the way, I'M doing this. We're going to turn this. I promise. I'm asking you because we have to do that reality check on where we're starting from so we know exactly where we're starting. Do you say Things like, I'm 55, I'm supposed to feel bad, or, I had three kids, I'm supposed to be overweight? Do you find yourself justifying in saying you're supposed to be a certain way, I had an accident. I'm supposed to be in pain. Write it down if you do. Do you make excuses and you guys know what this excuse is or not? Do you make excuses? Write it down if you do. Do you feel it's a big one? Do you feel that you have let yourself go? I hear this a lot. I feel like I've let myself go. Write it down if you do. Do you feel like. And listen to what I'm asking here. Do you feel like you're hiding from how you really feel? A lot of times I work with women, they say they can't really. They don't tell their family or their husband or their friends how they really feel because they feel their shame around that. Do they feel like they're hiding how they really feel? Do you feel that you're hiding how you really feel? If you do write that down. I've got like a glow on my face. I'm trying to turn it so you guys can see. See other than just a shadow. Do you feel that you are hiding from how you really feel? Here's another question I hear a lot. Do you feel like you're living in the past? Like, do you compare to the past? Do you say things like, well, I was a cheerleader back in college or I used to be a rock star in business before this? Or I used to be in a really happy relationship before this. Do you find yourself living in the past saying things like, well, I used to. Have you lost your confidence? Do you feel like you've lost your confidence? What about your motivation? Do you feel like you're looking for how to get motivated? Are you looking for motivation? Do you feel like you've lost that now? What about your relationships? And it could be anyone. It could be your spouse, your kids, your family, whoever. Do you feel unhappy in relationships? Like, write that down if you do. I feel unhappy with relationships, with my relationships. And then what about your career path or your passion or your vision? Like, do you feel like you hate that or that you don't have one? A lot of times I work with women that you know, it's like two extremes. Maybe they've been in a corporate job for years and years and years, but they don't feel passionate about anymore. They know there's something more. Or maybe they've been a stay home mom for years and now their kids are grown and they're feeling like there's something more. So whatever it is, do you feel and use the word that you feel like? I hate it, I'm bored with it, whatever it is. Okay. And then you can add a few more things. If there's anything else you're feeling that I didn't tap on, feel free to add it. So you've got this down. Okay, now here's what I want you to do next. I want you to get a new piece of paper or turn the page or turn that one over. We're gonna start a new piece of paper and I want you to, on this one, I want you to write on the top of it. Where do I want to go? This is really important. It's important that we put it on a new piece of paper. And no one's reading this. So you're going to be really honest. Just like I had you be really honest in the last one about where you're starting from. On this one, I want you to be really honest on where it is that you want to go, knowing no one else is reading this. This is for you. But I'm going to give you permission right now to really dream and visualize what it is that you want. And same way as I prompted you with those questions, I'm going to prompt you with some more questions so you can feel through, you know, what it is that she wants. So the next question is, on this new piece of paper, where do you want to be? So if it was a year from now we were back on this zoom call and you had everything you wanted in your life happen, where would that be? And use how you'd want to feel when writing that. I would feel thin. I feel strong. I feel like I'm heard. I would feel happy. I would feel confident. What is it that you want to feel? I feel abundant. I feel generous. I feel sexy. I feel hot. What is it? I'm going to ask you some questions and pick out the ones that resonate with you and write them down. Do you want to feel confidence? And if yes, right. I want to feel confident. Do you want to feel relevant again? I hear that a lot. That's why I ask that. Like, I want to feel. I want to feel important and relevant. Like who I am matters again. Do you want to feel relevant again? Do you want to feel attractive, Authentic? Do you want to feel authentic? A lot of times women tell me they feel fake, like they don't feel they're really themselves, they're not really seen. Do you want to feel that? Do you want to feel like you're enough? And if you do, say, I want to feel like I am enough. Write that down. Do you want to feel like you're in control, like you run the day? I always hear people telling me that they feel out of control, like they don't even know where their time goes. It feels out of control. Do you want to feel in control? Like you wake up and you're in charge of your day, you run your day. How about confident and inspiring? Do you want to feel inspiring? Write it down. If you do. Now, when you show up on a date, if you're single or out with your husband, you're dating your husband, or when you're playing with your grandkids, when you show up to whatever is important to you, how do you want to feel described? Describe how you want to feel. Do you want to feel youthful? Like, I want to feel youthful. Do you want to feel sexy? I want to feel sexy. Describe how it is you want to feel. What do you want your day to look like? What would your day look like? Would it feel like you have space, like you're connecting with people, like you're empowered? What would it feel like? I asked you a lot of those questions because many of you know, maybe you don't. This was me. This is 11 years ago now. So I'm going to be real. This was 11 years ago. This was me after I had my daughter. It's funny showing this now because she's like an adult. She's 11. But this was me then. And in this picture, I was 60 pounds bigger than I was now. Now. What does this have to do with today? What this has to do with today is the exact thing that got me out of here is the same tools I've used with clients to change them and get them through their goals later. And that's why I'm asking these questions first. And it starts with getting really clear on where we're starting from and really getting clear on where it is exactly that we want to go. So you just made a list of, like, where you want to go. What I want to know is, why now? Do you want that? So here's the question I'm going to ask you. If it's the best year of your life a year from now and you feel all those things and everything happens. What does that look like? What does that look like? I want you to think about that for a minute. Now, a lot of you are off video right now, which is fine, but I love when I can see you through. Open up. Putting video on. Is there anyone that is open to. And this is. I'm not going to call on you, call out on you, but is there anybody that's open to sharing? Because if you are open to sharing, this could be really powerful for you and everybody else listening. Is there anybody that would be open with sharing what their vision is? And let me just put this out there. I know people get nervous about doing this, but when you declare your vision, it always happens. So keep that in mind too, that if you take this jump right now and you declare it with me and we talk it through, your vision comes to reality. So let me know, raise your hand if you are open to sharing that with me right now. The new scroll. And see if anyone's open to it. Everyone's got their cameras off. All right, so you guys are saying you don't want your vision to happen. That's what I'm hearing. So, ok, if you change your mind, raise your hand because this could be really powerful. But the first step that gets to happen with making a vision happen is declaring it. I'm going to talk about that in a minute. So. Okay, let's talk about why. Let's start on another piece of paper. Turn it over again or draw a line or start someplace fresh. I want you to think through why you want this, why you want this. Why do you want, what it is that you want. Now, why do I ask that? A lot of times I'm just going to take weight loss because it's the most obvious thing that usually comes up for people. People say I want to lose weight. And I say, well, why do you want to lose weight? And they say, well, I feel like I'll be happy. That's what they say. I feel like I'll be happy. And can any of you relate to that? Like, I want to lose weight because I want to be happy. And then what happens is I give them a nutrition plan to follow and a workout plan to follow, and what happens is they start strong. And then a week or two or maybe a month in, they say, I just don't feel like it anymore. I'm not motivated. It doesn't work. Not motivated. It's too hard. So why does that happen? The Reason that happens is we never got really super laser clear on why it is we wanted a certain goal. When you're clear on the why, it always works out. What we tend to do, especially as women, is we get very clear on the how. Like, we get clear on the how, but we don't get clear on the why. And the how gets subject to feelings and mistakes. So there's an example I share, and I'll share it again because it's effective for this. But if we were to all get in a car right now, if all of you were to get in a car and just start driving, and I said, okay, everyone get in a car and just start driving. Where would everyone end up? Well, the answer is, it would depend. We would know the how is the car. Okay, so we're clear on that. We're getting in a car, we're going to drive. So we're how? But we don't know where we're gonna end up because a lot of variables come up. How we feel, how the traffic is, the mood we're in, the temperature outside, what we feel like. All these variables come up, right? So we know how, we know we're going our car, but we're gonna all end up in different places because. Because what? We're not clear on the vision. We're not clear on where we want to go. However, if we flip that and you were all to get in a car right now, and I would say, I don't care how you get there, but we're all going to go to New York. We were all very clear that we were going to New York. Well, what would happen? We would all end up in New York, that's for sure. If we were all clear, we were going to New York. But what would happen is we would all get there at different times and in different ways. Because somebody might drive to the airport and fly there. Somebody might drive there with navigation. Somebody might get out and walk. Somebody might drive to a train station, somebody might hitchhike. It might be clearer, less traffic someplace than another. We would all end up in New York, but we would get there. The how would matter. We would all just get there because we had a vision. So what happens with goals? What happens with goals all the time is that we get very clear on the how, but not where we are going, not the vision. Can any of you relate to that? I know I definitely did that before. Like, I am going to. This is the diet, this is the workout. This is the plan. This is whatever. I was clear on the how. But not the vision. So what I'm going to ask for you to do is to start going deep into your why. Now, I call this your driving core motivator. Because when you're clear on your why and your driving core motivator, it's your secret weapon. It becomes the thing that carries you through when you're not motivated, when you don't feel like it, when you don't want to. It's a thing that carries you through. It's your secret weapon. So how do we get to that? Why? I'm going to take you through a process, and I would love to do this live with somebody. If any of you are open to it again, remember, if you declare it and you're open to the coaching, you'll have a big breakthrough around this. So if you're open to me taking you through figuring out your driving core motivator, now raise your hand. I'll select one of you. Just raise your hand if you're open. Jen. Yes. Hi, Jen. Hi, how are you? Hi. Thanks for volunteering. So, Jen, before we do that, are you open to pick one of your goals or what your vision? Vision is like, what is it that you think you want? Let's start with that.
One of my goals is to.
Lose.
The 40 pounds I've put on in the last 15 years.
Okay, got it. So we're clear on that? It's one of the many. Yes, we'll start with that one. We'll use that as an example. That's a great one. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to take you through a process right now, and this is going to get you to get deep into what this driving core motivator is. And you're going to see the shift. Everyone and everyone that's listening, you can do this. You can do this on your own, with your own. And I just want to see in the comments real quick. Joanne, you said no sound on your laptop. I think you should hear it on your laptop. Just turn your go into the settings and make sure your volume is up or turn off your volume. It should work there as well. Okay, so, Jen, you want to lose 40 pounds. Okay, so just without, like going deep into your head, why do you want to lose £40? What's the first thing that comes up.
To feel great again.
Got it. Okay, so you want to feel great. Because if you feel great, what does that mean?
That means I'm confident. It means I'm healthy.
So if you're confident and healthy, what does that do for you?
I feel like it just puts me in a better headspace.
Got it. Okay, so if you're confident and healthy and you're a better headspace, what does being in a better head space do for your life?
It just makes everything better. My marriage is better. My family is better. My interactions with my children are better.
My.
Work life. I work for, my family's business. Just all the relationships that I'm surrounded by, everything just gets better.
So if your relationships and all of your communication with people is better, what does that do for your life?
It makes my life. It enriches my life so much more.
Yeah. And if your life isn't rich because of better relationships, what does that mean for you?
It just means I'm excited to get out of bed each day.
Because if you're not excited to get out of bed every day, what happens?
It makes the days very long. And it can be very.
Just, I.
Guess, for lack of a better way to put it, depressing sometimes.
Yeah. And if you're depressing and the days feel long and like they're drying out, you don't want to get out of bed. What does that make you?
That makes me, I feel like not taking advantage of the gift that I've been given of the life that I have.
So you're. You feel like you're not living right. Okay, do you all see what I just did there? So what's, what's Jen's driving for a motivator? It's probably the same for all of your goals, Jen. You want to feel alive. You want to feel and feel alive and feel passionate. That's what I'm hearing. That's a lot bigger than. I want to lose £40. Do you see the difference? And I happen to know you personally, Jen, because you've been to my breakthrough weekend. But you. That's the same thing with your business, with everything, really is. You want to feel alive and passionate. Yeah. So that's a driving for motivator we can work with. So what happens is so many people. Whoops. Somebody just started a screen share. Let's get that off. I don't know who that is. Somebody just shared their computer screen. I need you to stop that. Hold on. Can you see on your end who that is that did that? Interesting. Okay, let's see. I can't shift out of that. Whoa, Kelly, if you're on. Kelly, can you sharing your screen. There we go. Thank you. There we go. Thank you. Okay. Okay. Sorry. So if you guys see that, what happens is when you are very clear on your driving Core motivator. That becomes your secret weapon to all your goals. Now, most people get very, very stuck on that initial thing that they said, and then they want to know, why am I not motivated? Why am I not this? Why am I tempted here? Because you're not really connected to what your true driving core motivator is. So thank you, Jen, for being my experiment there. I hope that helped you. And I know this is just scratching the surface there, but that's the first thing that we get to do with our goals and really go deep on why it is that we want it. And I helm clients on this. Like, what is the why? Let's get to that driving core motivator. Because that's what makes the difference. That's what makes the huge difference. When I was here, my driving core motivator was I wanted to live my life. I wanted to be a good mom. I wanted to have energy. That's what I wanted. But on the outside, I just said, I feel gross, I feel fat, I feel yuck, I feel depressed. But I had to get to my why so I can shift it. Your driving core motivator changes over time. My driving core motivator now today, 11 years later, is very different than it was there. My driving core motivator today is one of them is you guys. If I let myself go and don't take care of myself, how does that help you all? You wouldn't be on the zoom right now. So your driving core motivator changes over time. Okay, so here's what I want you to recognize next. Your best thinking. Your best thinking got you to where you are right now, today. All those things you wrote on that first page, they all got you to where you are right now, here, today. So everything you think you know that you've done, they got you to hear. So I'm not going to argue, like, right or wrong, but just recognize that those decisions got you to here. So we have to change this, right? Otherwise, you're stuck here. You're stuck here. So what I'm teaching you today is a great start because it's a different way of thinking. So recognize that now. And I also want you to recognize, and I hate going backwards sometimes, but it's important to point out that if you don't fix this problem, if you don't fix it, you don't start shifting it. Things unfortunately do get worse. They do get worse. And here's why. The problem is not going to get better on its own. We are getting older. We are getting older. So they do get worse. And eventually those questions I asked in the beginning, eventually it will be too late and the ship will have sailed and you won't be relevant. Like that is a fact. We are all getting older. I can talk about aging in reverse all that I want, but the years still do go by. So if we don't take advantage of things and take action and change our thinking, things do unfortunately get worse. So what I'm starting today with you is the start of a solution. So here's the thing I want you to write down. You can be an entirely different person. An entirely different person a year from right now, today, by changing two things. Just two things. One, your thoughts to your actions. By changing your thoughts, what you're thinking about, and taking different actions, you can be an entirely different person. This works with everything. If you are overweight right now and feeling miserable about yourself and you're looking at a friend of yours as a size 8 and super fit and amazing, if you took their thoughts and actions, you would become them. If you're in a business struggling and you know somebody that's in that same business doing really well, if you did those same thoughts and actions that got them there, you would become that, too. Now, I'm not going to tell you to go be somebody else. That's not what I mean by this. But I just want to share that by changing your thoughts and actions, you become a different person. By keeping your thoughts and actions the same, you stay the same. And this is not just from me. This is from everyone I've worked with and so many people. Let me just show you some examples. This is Terri. When I met her, she had certain types of thoughts and actions that got her here and she was stuck there. This is Terri now. Now, what shifted? Was it just her diet and her workouts? No, it was changing her thoughts and actions. This Terri here is a very different person than the Terri here. Entirely different person, because you changed your thoughts and actions. Same with Nicole. This was Nicole when I met her. She has a very similar first page to probably what a lot of you wrote. This is Nicole. Now, no one had a change. Was it her diet and her exercise? Of course. But what the bigger thing was was her thoughts and actions. She had to start thinking like a fit, thin person and she had to start acting like a fit thin person. The same all the time, constantly. You change your thoughts, you change your actions, you change yourself. Do you want to know how to do this? I'm going to give you the tips on exactly how to do this. Are you ready to do it? Okay, so write these down. This is the goal right here. This is the goal. Now, this is the simple part, to write it down. The challenging part is to actually do it. So know that I'm with you on that, but this is all you have to do. Number one, write this word down. And if you follow me on social media, you see me talk about this all the time. You have to decide now, what does decide mean? Decide means you're not saying, I'm going to try. I'm going to think about. I'm going to consider. I might. This may happen. Deciding is, this is happening, Jen. It's saying, this is happening. This £40 is going. I'm getting my confidence back. I'm going to want to bounce out of bed every morning. I'm gonna want to be on fire with my life. That's a decision. So a decision is not. I'm gonna try another plan. A decision is, I don't know how it's happening. Like the car to New York example, I don't know how it's happening, but it is happening. It is happening. I am going to make a million dollars in my business. I am going to be in the body that I want. I am gonna have the best relationship that I can possibly have. It's a decision. I am going to Australia this year. Whatever it is, it's a decision. You don't have to know how, but you have to step up and decide that it's happening. That's step one. Step two is you have to declare it. Why do you have to declare it? If we don't tell anybody, then is it actually going to happen? No. The reason we don't tell people is why? Because we want to stay safe. We want it out. We don't want to declare it because then we have to make it happen. But when you declare it, it happens. At 47 years old, me, I do this practice all the time. Every time I have a goal, I'm like, ok, I decided this. Now I have to tell people and I don't want to. I get the sweaty palms. I don't want to tell people, but I declare it. And that's what works. So recently I decided I was going to learn to do the splits. I don't know why, I just wanted to learn to do the splits. I have a couple reasons why, but I decided. So deciding wasn't good enough. I had to go declare it. So I declared it publicly on social media. Well, what happens when you declare something? You're going to show up and practice and do it because you're going to make it happen. You're committed. So declaring is that next step. And if you skip that part, you're not following the formula, so you have to declare it. So, Jen, with your example, it would be telling people, losing 40 pounds this year. It's happening. Telling your family, telling your everybody, social media, this is happening. It's scary, I know, but that's what makes it happen. And thank you, Jen, for stepping up and doing that activity with me, because that even there, that act is a part of declaring next thing. Step number three, figuring out your driving core motivator. And that's that exercise I just took Jen through. It's literally asking yourself, and I call it 10 levels deep on that. Why? Going 10 levels deep on why it is you want that goal. Getting really clear on that, really clear. Why do I want this? It's called your driving core motivator, and that's what's going to help seal the deal through Clarita. I see your hand up. Do you have a question about this? I probably clicked something. Okay, no problem. Just want to make sure. Cool. Awesome. Thank you. Ok, so driving for motivator. That is step number three. Number four, get crystal clear on your vision, where it is you want to go. Now, a lot of people get stuck here. They say, well, I don't know what my whole big picture vision is. I am not asking you to figure out your entire big picture vision. You don't have to know everything. You don't have to know exactly everything, but you have to know it somewhere you want to go and be clear on that. So I want to be living at the beach. I want to be 40 pounds lighter. I want to be whatever it is. But get very clear on your vision. Now, a really easy way to get clear on your vision is to create a vision board. Because vision boards, you don't have to think. You just get a stack of magazines, you start pulling out pictures that appeal to you. And what's super cool about that is all those pictures start triggering like what it is that you actually want in your life. I have a vision board at all times around my house. I make them every six months. I have one right now I'm looking at as I'm talking to. It has like specific things that I'm working towards and that I want. And the cool thing about vision board is it actually gives you something to look at that evokes a feeling. And when you evoke a feeling, we start generating actions and thoughts towards that so get clear on your vision, on what it is that you want. And a vision board is a great first step for that. Ok. The next thing, get very clear who and what you take into your world. What do I mean by that? What I mean by that is what you're listening to, who you're surrounding yourself with, what you're hearing, what you're watching matters. So if I'm in your ear all day long, it might annoy you, right? It might annoy some of you, but it also might remind you. It might be an interruption to what you want. What are you letting in? Are you letting in news negative things? Are you letting in reality TV and gossip magazines? Are you letting in gossip with friends? Are you letting in other people that are validating excuses? Or are you letting in things that are going to help you grow and become a better person and step into possibility? If you want to lose 50 pounds, 40 pounds, 30 pounds, what are you listening to? What are you watching? Who are you hanging around with? Are you hanging around with friends that are gaining weight and not interested in health? Are you interested in friends trying to improve themselves? Are you hanging out with them? If you're working on changing your thoughts and being more positive and having more hope, are you listening to people that are telling you it's not possible? Or are you surrounding yourself with motivation and people that talk into possibility? So what are you taking in? What are you reading? What are you watching? What are you listening to? That stuff gets to change too. The next thing is, what actions are you taking? When I was that girl that had gone through my financial hardship, my divorce, my weight gain, when I was that person, I knew, looking at my vision, that I wanted something more. But I also knew I couldn't keep taking the actions I was taking. It's one thing to scroll things and lay in bed and eat Doritos. Not that you're doing that, but I definitely was. It's another thing to actually live like the person in your vision. So when I wanted to live at the beach and I wasn't yet living at the beach, I decided to drive and walk on the beach every day. Because walking on the beach made me feel like I was living there. And I was. I thought if I was living at the beach, I'd be walking on the beach, so why not take those actions? I had fit girls on my vision board and I used to say, well, what would that person be eating today? What would they be doing? And I started taking those actions because remember your thoughts and actions can make you an entirely different person. So by changing those, you become a very different person. The next thing is we start dropping excuses. And some people think, I'm super harsh with this. That's okay. I would not be a good coach. I would not be a good coach. I would not be working towards your higher self. If I validated excuses for you. That doesn't work. Me validating excuses for you or friends validating excuses or family validating excuses. Guess what it does for you? It keeps you comfortable and stuck. If, Jen, if you were to say, I struggled all these years with my £40, I've got this, this, this, this, and this, and I were to say, yeah, that sucks. You're right, it does suck. It is hard for you. It's terrible. You might feel better and like me at that moment because I'm making you. I'm validating it. But am I helping you improve by doing that? No, but we people please, and we don't tend to interrupt people. We all do it. I do it, too. A friend will say to me, I feel fat in these jeans. And what do I say? Oh, no, you look great. Okay. Is that being a good friend? No, it's not. I'm trying to be liked and comfort them at that time, but that's actually not being a good friend. So I might do that to some of my friends. And I don't mean to, but I'm human also. But I will not do that with you right now because validating excuses does not help us get better. I don't want anyone validating my excuses. It doesn't help us get better. I had a ruptured disc last year, 16 months ago now, and it was bad. And I had all kinds of people tell me I wouldn't be able to work out like I used to. I wasn't going to be able to walk straight. I had all kinds of things being told to me, and I had to make a decision not to listen to it because I could find all kinds of evidence online with friends, with doctors of why that injury was going to stop me. But I chose to find evidence of why it wouldn't stop me, just like countless of other people do. Many of you might know or you might not know. I have a podcast called Leveling Creating Everything From Nothing. And what I specifically do on that podcast is I interview people that overcame massive hardship despite society telling them they can't. I've interviewed countless people on this. I interviewed Janine shepherd, who was an Olympic athlete, hit by a truck, paralyzed, told she'd never walk Again, refused to let that information in. And she's walking again. But she had to decide to not validate her excuses. The whole world would have validated her excuses. Take somebody with an illness that's sick. Why do doctors tell them they don't have time to live? Why do they do that? How is that helping them? Just say you have two months to live, you have three months to live. Why put that on somebody? There's always a miracle, there's always a chance, there's always an opportunity. But the second we believe that there isn't, there isn't. When we validate excuses for others, we're hurting them, we're harming them. When we let people validate excuses for us, we're selling out on ourselves. I don't want people validating my excuses. And believe me, I have a lot of them. They come up all the time. I don't want people validating them. People in my life know that I'm clear about that. And I want an interruption. And I hope that you'll embrace having that interruption and being that interruption as well. Because people validating your excuses doesn't help. Now, you might be listening to me going, but I have a thyroid problem. But I have this, but I have that. I'm not denying that those are actual medical things. What I'm saying is I'm not going to feed into that. That's what's in your gap, and that's what's making things wrong. Because the second I do it, there's no chance. And what do we do as women? I do this. We go on Google and we start Googling whatever it is our ailment is and why it's a doomsday. And now we have support that this is awful, this is terrible, but that doesn't help us get better. Do you see this? I can validate excuses for you, but it just doesn't help shift you or help give you opportunity or make you better. So I speak into possibility, and I hope you will, too. Couple more quick things I want to share about this before I shift to questions. So we hear a lot about taking massive action. I know if you've listened to Tony Robbins talk about massive action. I'm not denying massive action works for things. No question. But here's the problem with massive action. It stops people because it feels overwhelming. If you think, I've got to do this and I have this whole list of things I've got to do, it might get overwhelming. So instead of massive action, I want to suggest small steps forward. Every Day one step forward. Every day gets you closer to results. If you feel like you have to do 50 things to get to your goal, do one of those things. Do one of those things. Can you add more water? Can you walk more? Can you choose more vegetables? Can you connect with a friend? Could you be kinder to yourself? Could you tell yourself something nice? Could you work on your vision board? Do one thing. Every step forward is a step in the right direction. If you start taking those steps forward, eventually you get there. So take small steps forward every day. The next thing. I want to share, and this is where so many people fall off. And I just want to. I know because we've had. My husband and I, Brooks, we've had hundreds of conversations with people over the years, thousands, probably of people that are so scared to do this. Invest in yourself, time and money. Invest in yourself, time and money. If you think you don't have time or you don't have money to help yourself, then you are choosing other people and other things as priority over you. Make no doubt about it. When you invest in yourself, that's saying you are worth it. When you put yourself and time first, you are worth it. You will be a better mom, a better spouse, a better employee, a better boss, a better everything. When you've taken care of yourself. You've all heard the expression about putting your oxygen mask on first. If we do not do that, we are selling out on people. We are not our best selves. We are not our best selves. So investing. I can't tell you. We have applications going around right now for our coaching and our breakthrough weekends. And people will say, one of the questions we say is, how committed are you? Everyone puts a 10. I'm 10 out of 10 committed. What are you willing to invest in yourself? Nothing that's not committed. Just notice that. Not right or wrong, not judging. Just notice it. You're 10 out of 10 committed, but you're not willing to invest time or money in yourself. That's not a 10 out of 10 committed. Be really aware of that. Okay, here's what's gonna happen next right now. And I'm gonna open up the whole group right now so I can see you. Okay? So I just covered a lot of information quick. I know it was a lot. I did record it. So I'll make sure. I'm sending you out the replay. So you have a choice right now. You can take what I just shared with you and you can literally go run with it and apply it. And I'm. Thank you for Joining me on this and you've got some tools to get you started and I'd also love to know if it helps make a difference in your life. So you've got those tools, you're free to jump off. What I'm going to do now, because I want to be really honest with you is I'm going to share an opportunity to work with me and I'm also going to open it up to questions about anything, about anything I covered about fitness, nutrition, any question is not off limits and about the experience I'm going to talk to you about. So you're totally free to jump off now if you feel like you've got everything you need. Otherwise, I'm going to jump into a unique opportunity I've got. And if you've got questions, definitely be typing them or raise your hand so I can call on you. Okay. So my favorite thing, my absolute favorite thing to do in the space that I'm in is actually connect with people. So like I love right now like I'm talking to you on Zoom. This makes me happy. This is my favorite thing to do in a day. It's a lot better doing this when I can see your face than just going on a Facebook live. I also love working in my smaller group programs, but my absolute favorite thing is the in person events that I do. I do a couple of these every year where I have a very small group of you work directly with me and my husband where we do a small group coaching over a three month period. But we also invite you to what we call our breakthrough experience where you are with us. It is a retreat like experience. I have done two in my house. I did one at a resort. This next one is at our new house here where you literally come in your full emergence with us to break through what is holding you back, to break through that, to figure out your actual vision and what it is that you want for yourself. And we help you create a plan to get there. And what's cool about it is it's two and a half days that you're fully submerged with us and with other people on the same agenda as you. So you can't escape it. Most of you know when you actually experience something, it sticks. When you're half doing something, like when you're listening to class and you're working, some of it's sinking. When you listen to a podcast, some sticks when you read a book or an article, you might have moments, same with watching a movie. When you actually live in the experience and you surround Yourselves with others doing it. You form habits and change happens. Change happens. So the good news is I am doing two this year. The bad news is I'm only doing two. I'm only doing two. I'M doing one in February and I'm doing one in April. We right now have 120 applications. We've extended invites to a very small amount of those. Right now I am at about 70% full on these two breakthrough weekends. So if you are at all interested in this, there is an application process you'll go to. And Liana, if you don't mind, if you could type it into the zoom, type in. You go to www.nataliejillapply.com. it's an application. You'll fill it out. And if this guy is gonna come in and say hi. If this guy, if it stands out to him, this is my husband, say hi. Hi, Brooks. If it stands out to him, you're gonna get a surprise phone call from him. Sit down and talk here. Sit down and talk to him for a minute. So they know it and then they can ask questions. Sit down here and they can see you. Yeah. Hi.
How's everybody doing?
Tell them what you have to do with us and why you're here.
What do you mean, what I have to do?
Besides just being my husband? Why do we have you join us?
Because I pretty much know how everybody feels right now that's sitting out there. Because that's where I was stuck for over 20 plus years and it was doing that work on myself and getting past the not worthy, the not good enough, the perfectionism, the procrastination, the. It works for everybody else, but it won't for me. Overcoming that voice in the head, massive scarcity mindset that started when I was, you know, a kid and. Yeah, so just all that stuff. So I just, I, you know, your pain becomes your purpose. And I found out, you know, I have a gift at seeing it in others, but also seeing their greatness and knowing how to, I say, like, snip those thousand pound invisible anchors, those things that are, you know, really truly, you know, holding us back from everything that we want. And the cool thing is there's, there's a process, you know, to, to correct it. And yeah, it's just, there's nothing I love doing more. So hopefully, if you have a nice application, we'll be on the phone and I will say I'm only getting on the phone with probably one or two out of every 10 applications that come in.
What are you looking for in applications? So they know what to share. When you're sorting through these, I'm looking.
For people that have something bigger there. You know, if it's just wanting to, like, hang out with Natalie, if it's just because I want to wear a bikini this summer, you know, that's not what we're looking for. There's a lot of people, because I can really empathize, that are, you know, they're in their 40s and 50s, and they're stuck, and they're big time stuck. And they realize that, you know, yes, there might. Maybe there's some weight loss, but that's really not even in the top five or 10 things that they're looking for. It's that bigger breakthrough, you know, again, because Natalie's audience is mostly women, a big thing is people have had kids, they started putting themselves last. And so there's a lot of that worthiness piece. And a lot of times, you know, a lot of these women, you know, the kids are 18, 20, 23, they're finally out of the house, and they're staring down 48, 50, 53 years old. And for the first time in their life, they're like, I want to do something for myself. And they feel like there's something much bigger that's possible for them, but they're just stuck. And they don't know what actions to take or what to do or how to get there. That's why having a coach is so important. I mean, I was a swimmer for 15, 16 years. I worked with Michael Phelps, his coach, for three and a half years. All your great athletes. Tom Brady has a coach. Michael Jordan has a coach. Your seniors, your actors. You know, anybody who's very successful has a coach, because that's just the way that mine works. You have to have somebody else there that's looking in your blind spot, somebody else there that can guide you, because there's going to be discomfort. I mean, that's what it always is. It's about really pushing that comfort zone. You know, I've used this example just because the super bowl is coming up. I mean, you have a guy that could have played in the NFL for 10 years. He's played, you know, hundreds of football games, but it's the super bowl, and he can read books about it, he can listen to podcasts about it, he can watch videos about it, you know, but in the end, nothing's going to change that. That nervousness and that feeling until he steps on the field. And that's why you see these events. Even someone's been playing for years. It's a different environment out of the comfort zone. And so that's why the first quarter, the first half of the game, you know, a lot of times it comes down to, especially if it's two new quarterbacks, who's going to adjust to the pressure the quickest because it's going to be uncomfortable. And there's no amount of reading books, podcasts, because I did that for years. You know, I was going to be ready to change once I finished reading these five books, once I took this course, once I listened to this podcast, there was always something else that once I learned that that was going to make it easier, but it doesn't. And it's just a matter of making the investment and breaking that pattern and pushing through to get to the other side of your comfort zone. And that's where the freedom is.
Now, I will share. There's a lot of deep work and there is. But there's also a lot of fun. So I just want to show you. Like, this was one of our groups from last year. So it's a fun group of women. It's an awesome tribe. And we're doing it a little different this time where we do surround it with three months of group coaching with both of us. So it's a very intense program. And then with that retreat at the end. So. Thanks, babe. And by the way, it's his birthday today. Retreats at the beginning. Sorry.
It starts with a retreat, and then, you know, you build these relationships and then we have the three months of coaching, so.
And it's his birthday. Say happy birthday.
Why am I saying happy birthday?
No, I'm telling them it's his birthday today. Thank you. Okay, any questions, you guys, about anything, Anything at all. Questions, Questions. Okay, you can raise your hand or you can type it if you have a question. See? No questions. Let's see. Awesome. All right, well, thank you all. We recorded it. So if you sign up through the email, you're going to get this recording so you can replay it. Thanks for joining us today. Bye.
