Living with Stage 4 Cancer with Maria Kang

Imagine the most fit person you can think of, somebody that you admire. Look up to someone who has a vision of health, someone who you feel has been super inspirational to you, motivating something you're striving for, learning that they have stage four cancer. Now imagine yourself finally reaching an area where you felt really great in your life. Healthy, strong, empowered. In fact, you have a brand called no Excuses, no Excuse Moms. And you learn that you have cancer that turns into stage four. How would you navigate that? What would you need to learn about yourself? How would you talk to your answer? What would you do about treatment options? And how would you just get through life? Show up as a mom, show up as a leader in your community with your clients. What would you do? Today I'm really excited on Midlife Conversations to talk to Maria Kang. Now, I have been following her for years. We both launched our businesses around similar times. I remember seeing her on at magazine cover, so and I'll put a picture up for those of you that don't remember this, but she had her three young boys and she was super fit and it said no excuses. And she had a lot of controversy around it. A lot of empowerment, but a lot of controversy too. And I remember cheering her on on Facebook, but following her brand and following her business over the years. And then I was stunned to learn recently of her cancer diagnosis and even more in really just been following her journey, watching her stories daily, watching her social, watching how she's navigating this and still showing up strong and really believing and deciding that this is not going to take her down. This is something that she has determined to is teaching her a lesson and she's going to get rid of it. So Maria, thank you so much for being here today. I've got you here on YouTube and on my podcast. And if you're watching on YouTube, by the way, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you don't miss other episodes. And if you are watching this or listening to this on Midlife Conversations, the podcast, make sure you subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Thank you so much for being here today, Maria.

Thank you for having me. And I loved following you too, Joy.

So let's back up a little bit. Let's back up. And let's start with years ago. What got you into this whole idea of fitness and was it like intentional? Was it an accident? Like what happened?

Most of the things I do in my life is super intentional. Like I like to plan in decades kind of deal. And it was definitely Inspired by my mother, you know, growing up with a very just sick mother. She had a lot of. She had strokes, diabetes, she had a kidney transplant. She passed away a few years ago. 60. So I was really a witness to what happens when someone doesn't take care of their health. And it's been such a journey because I actually thought I was doing all the right things to take care of my health. And it was a huge wake up call.

When you say you thought you were doing all the things, what did that look like? And like, and I want to also take back to years ago when your boys were young and you were super fit. Like, were you always fit? Did you get yourself fit around that time? Like, tell me a little bit about that journey right there.

So I've always been, I've never played a sport in my life. I was scared of balls being thrown at me and I don't know, I just never played a sport. We just didn't have the resources to. I didn't grow up very wealthy and so I always wanted to look fit. And I think that's important to know because there's a lot of people who look fit but are not fit or not healthy.

So true.

You all know this, right? And I was the epitome of that because I competed in pageantry, I've done fitness competitions. I was, you know, I did a lot of things, like I did in the bikini, California, you know, I was in Model America, all of that stuff. But I would say I was generally fit most of my life. I mean, I did undergo an eating disorder in my 20s. I did, I dealt with binge eating a lot of my life. I did gain 30 pounds prior to pregnancy. So I know what it means to go through the emotional roller coaster of trying to be healthy and doing all the things and when I mean the things I'm like working out, you know, five, six times a week, counting my macros, you know, that was my early on obsession. As after I became a mother, however, I became more lax in my approach and I started to incorporate other things like meditation and breath work. I mean, again, when I, I'm now 43, going to be 44 this year. And I mean, I was doing all the things, you know, I was, I walk every day, I go to nature, I have grounding mats, I'm breathing, I'm meditating, I'm eating, juicing. Well, all of the things, the checklist.

The checklist of things that we're told to do. Don't eat these things, eat these things, count this, do this. Add that. Yeah, yeah. So, okay. Before we get into the cancer, which I really want to. I want to dive in a lot into that, I want to think back to when you were the no excuse mom. When that was, like, when that started. And I loved watching you then. I remember you on that cover with the. I can still picture that picture with the three boys. And I remember the comments coming in on Facebook, and it was either, like, this awesome support, like, oh, my gosh, you're amazing. I want to do this, too, or it was this hate. You had a massive divide there, and I watched how you navigated that. Can you speak into that? Because I think this is a lot. Very telling about your personality in general, about challenges.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I made a commitment to myself. I went through a big spiritual awakening in my 20s. And what I mean by that is I just really felt a sense of love, you know, from source, from God, whatever you want to call it. And I understood why I existed and. And knowing that I did have some hard times. Like I said, I didn't grow up very wealthy. You know, I didn't grow up with a lot of. I grew up with a lot of people disliking me. I was bullied as a, you know, as a teen. And I realized that I was able to overcome so much because despite. Despite what the world was telling me or the things that were put in my path, I. It never really changed my attitude. I always kind of came from a place of love and understanding, and I chose to act instead of react, you know? And so when I came out with that picture, which I thought was an incredible picture, you know, I was proud. Was proud. I had three kids. They were three, two, and eight months. And I had. You know, I had worked really hard because that's what happens, you know, you work really hard, you're very proud of yourself, and you want to show others that they can do it, too. I mean, I. I had businesses at the time, I had my children. I was very. You know, I come from. My genetics isn't necessarily, you know, super fit either. Again, my mother was obese. And so when I came out with that image, it was very polarizing. And was I surprised? Not that surprised, but of course I was surprised to the extent of the backlash, the extent of the media coverage. Of course, it was amazing for, you know, overall, for the career. Right. But the way I tackled it is how I tackle everything. Like you said, I don't. I realized that it was really a projection of the collective, of what the people were Feeling. Because when I said, what's your excuse? I'm talking to 75% of Americans who are overweight or obese, and they have. Or they think they have an excuse. And I'm really kind of breaking that glass ceiling because I am a mom. That's not an excuse. I have a job. That's not an excuse. I'm tired.

I have.

I lack resources. I. You know, I don't have support sometimes I don't have the best genetics. That's not your excuse. And so when I had that, when I heard the feedback, I heard a lot of people talking about themselves, not necessarily talking about me, exactly.

I felt like it was a projection of their own beliefs that you nailed that there. And I love that perspective that you just shared, because some people listening, they've got their own brand, their own business, they're starting to do that, and they get stopped by that judgment from others, you know, and it's always about the person judging. It's never about the person being judged.

And that's very difficult, though. And it's difficult as the person receiving it as well, because you do get triggered. I mean, I'm not a perfect human. No one is. But I had to really examine the times when I was triggered, and it's usually because I was at a low state of vibration. I was just like, you know, sad or depressed or whatever. But for the most part, yes, it is. It is always not about you. It's about them whenever they're making judgments. I mean, I can understand if I actually hurt you or if I actually talk to you and a specific experience together. And it wasn't kind, but these people did not know anything about me, but was making lot of snap judgment on my character.

So I remember that time when I remember reading the comments and getting, like, sucked into that. And I also remember coming to your defense a lot of times, because what I saw was there was a lot of moms that were struggling with their weight, and what I wanted them to do is look at you and go, wow, I could do that, too. And, wow, what are some tips? And how can I do this? But instead, it was like it wasn't working for them yet. So it was this quick, like, decision and way to. To snap out at you. So I just. I learned a lot watching you navigate that. I thought it was pretty powerful and incredible. So let's fast forward a little bit.

So then you.

You ran this business for years. You helped other moms. That's really what you've done. When did you first notice that something was wrong. And how did this cancer diagnose come about?

I want to merge my 30s with my 40s. So, you know, just so you know, I have a nonprofit called Fitness Without Borders. And within that nonprofit is a program called no Excuse Moms. And what we did was we created these free workout communities throughout the world. And our. At our peak, we're at 500 communities in, like, 35 countries. And in addition to that, I own care home businesses for the elderly. So I. I was. You know, that's what I do. That's where my bread and butter came from. And then I had my children. You know, I don't have a nanny or a cook. And I. You know, unfortunately, I took some pride in that and. And I see. Unfortunately, because as mothers, we take pride in doing it our. You know, all on our own, when actually there's a lot of goodness that comes in asking for help. And I learned that most recently. And so I was really. I was really on this fast pace, you know, this fast track towards my career. You know, I wrote a book. I was on shows. I did all the things. But I also was feeling extreme pressure. You know, there was a point last year when I was traveling every couple weeks, and I was already thinking of my next work trip, even before this one. Been there, you know? Yeah. I wasn't being very present. And when the cancer diagnosis happened, which was late last year, November 10, 2023, I already knew for at least a year and a half that something was wrong because I had blood in my stool. Mm. I was extremely fatigued, but I had. I always had ongoing anemia since I was little. And then I had changes to my discharge. You know, I was like. My bowels were more loose. You know, the smell was different, you know, And I went to. I was seeing a Western doctor, then eventually an Eastern doctor because of health insurance issues, And I just couldn't figure it out. Now, keep in mind that my stress has always sat in my gut. Like, when I was stressed, I would be constipated. I wouldn't go for days. Okay.

Which is very common, very common.

Not only was it common that not only is that common, but irritable bowel issues were common. Yeah. And that's why I didn't address it. Ulster. Yeah.

Because you think this is normal. This is just how my body deals with stress. This is. Everybody has this.

Yes. That's something I know more intuitively now is that I always think that people who are unfit or unhealthy, like, maybe they don't know what it means to run really fast or climb a mountain or the feeling of just being just so healthy. They don't know that. So you can't want what you don't know kind of deal. And so for me, I was healthy. I was healthy in all areas of my life, except I've always had digestive issues. And I think a lot of especially quote unquote fit women have a lot of digestive issues.

But what's interesting is you. You had those, but you had them while you were healthy and fit.

So you.

I get why you wouldn't have thought there's anything unusual.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It was normalized, just like being overweight in society is normalized. Yeah.

And honestly, I would do the same. If I had, like, loose stools, I would think, oh, I had too much magnesium, or you just. I wouldn't even connect it as there's something wrong.

Yeah. But the thing with cancer in my situation is that it was ongoing. So I was trying to troubleshoot in so many ways. I was drinking celery juice, I was taking different supplements. I was gluten free. I mean, all the things. And it just wasn't. Nothing was solving the problem.

Okay.

So when I was finally diagnosed, it was. People ask me all the time, how did you feel? Of course I was shocked, but at least I had an answer.

So, yeah, it must have been a little bit of a confirmation. And it was a confirmation in my head.

I knew that there. Knew there was something wrong. I knew it was not in my head. I just didn't know what it was. No.

How did you had a colonoscopy before any of this was starting? Had you ever had one or. And is that how you were diagnosed?

So colonoscopies aren't usually performed on people that are under 50. So for me, I found out because I had very low iron, and I mean, of course I've been anemic most of my life, but then it was really, really low and I had other signs. And so I have a really good primary physician. He ordered me a CT scan. And in that CT scan, they saw a mass. We didn't know what it was. Then we went into a colonoscopy.

Was the very low iron from the blood that was coming out?

Is that it was coming. Not only was it coming out of me every day, but, I mean, the tumor feeds off of it, too. The tumor takes your blood, too and feeds off of, you know, the nutrients in your blood, you know, and so I got the colonoscopy they did a biopsy at the same. I believe the biopsy, you know, kind of punctured the tumor and made it spread a little bit more, which caused an infection in me. I was hospitalized.

So I remember you sharing about this. Yes.

Yeah. So when I was hospitalized, it was actually very traumatic in the discovery of it. But yeah, I went through that was the stages. It started with symptoms, you know, trying to treat it naturally, then finally, you know, getting some blood work done, ordering a CT scan, finding out that there's a mass, doing the colonoscopy, biopsying, and realizing it is cancer.

How did you even begin to process something like that? I mean, I know you just said it's. It was confirmation, but, like, what were the thoughts going through your head?

You know, it's really weird when. I mean, obviously I've been. Imagine this cancer isn't something that comes overnight. It's been living on you for years. And this is something I had to, like, come to grips with. Like, it's. Imagine you waking up like any other day, but it's not any other day anymore. Now you have cancer, but you've had cancer for the last year and you're fine the whole time. And then now, you know, and it's a whole different day. It's a whole different life. It's. The level of awareness is fifths. Immediately, of course, you go through a lot of sadness and there is a lot of victimhood. I mean, at first, of course, I'm shocked because I'm so healthy. You know, I did all the things and. But then I also went into Maria mode, which is, I'm going to kill this cancer. You know, like, I can figure everything out because I do everything. I've always done everything. And. And so I started that journey. Let's figure out how this came. Like, I not only want to do, I want to cut this out, which I didn't. It hasn't come out yet. It's still there. But I wanted to figure out the root of it too, because I understand disease. It just doesn't come out of nowhere. It comes from somewhere. And in my study of people who have overcome cancer, many of them come out of remission. There's no cure and there's no root. I mean, it's a very interesting place to be when you have a disease such as cancer, because there's no guaranteed path. It's the weirdest thing you're going to go through. And one out of two women will have cancer.

One out of two.

One, one. So there's Two of us here, One of us has cancer. Yes. Yeah.

And I think it doesn't discriminate either. I mean, there's just too many stories of people that are super healthy. They're like, I don't know that there is any profile that. That is not touched by it.

Not anymore. I think that. And this is a very humbling realization for myself because I remember I was kicked off Facebook one time because I had this. They're just very particular about me at the time because I was polarizing. Polarizing. I was a very popular person at the time, and I was kicked off because, I mean, I made a statement that said, you know, you can tell when someone's not healthy because, you know, whatever. And. And it's true to a certain degree. It's true. Someone looks unhealthy or even if they're 30 pounds, 50 pounds overweight, you know that there's going to be underlying diseases that's going to happen. But this has been so humbling because now I look at what I've said in the past and who I am today, no one can tell that I have stage four cancer.

No, I mean, if you are sharing your lows on, like, I would never. You look at you, you look so put together. You look pretty, you look fit. You have all the things, so. And then you even have a bag, but you still feel like, oh, look at her, she's glamorous. She's making the bag look good.

It looks stylish.

Like there's this whole. And I relate to you so much because I have that same controlling personality. And that's probably what my brain would do too. Like, I can fix this. I can kill it. I can do, you know, let's conquer it. And we can't always do that. So if someone were to ask you, like. Or maybe you have asked this, like, what do you think creates it? Where do you think it comes from?

So I've been through such an incredible journey. You know, I started my. My intentional spiritual journey again in 2020. I actually went through a plant medicine ceremony with my then husband because I wanted to really go back to who I was in my twenties when I experienced, you know, so much love and unity with. In the Source and all that. I was very inspired, in fact, in that time.

You mean like ayahuasca or what was that?

So what I did in 2020 was psilocybin. I did a hero's dose. And remember, not remember. No, you wouldn't remember because we just kind of met virtually. But I don't get drunk, I don't smoke marijuana. I am just such a clean person. Just. I don't even really take medicine. So for me to do this was a big jump for me, but I was like wanting more. I knew that there was something that I wasn't seeing in my life because I was unfulfilled as much as we, you know, the accolades, the things, the, the whatever it was, it wasn't filling my soul. And so I did a hero's dose. And in 2020, I, I realized, and keep in mind I went there for my then husband because I thought he had a lot of issues he need to work out.

Yeah, we always think of somebody else.

There to be support him. Right. And then I realized I had a lot of trauma right from my childhood. And I believe that everybody. There's not one person listening that does not have trauma. And when I say trauma, I don't like to use the word trauma because it sounds bad. Because you want to know, you know, you love your parents, you know, you had, you love yourself, you love who you've turned out to be and that. And you don't want to say, no, I didn't have trauma. But actually there is something that shaped your personality. There's a reason why we, you and I are so driven, why we are so put together, why everything has to be controlled by us. You know what I mean? There's probably some chaos that we experienced or a lack of something that happen usually through the ages between 0 to 7, something that we don't remember because we only lose use like 10% of our brain. So this is really tapping into those memories that we covered underneath.

I've done, I've done a hero's journey. So I'm very familiar with that. And before anyone's like judging or has their opinions, if you haven't, if you haven't done it, there's actually a lot of studies and, and that are using this with cancer patients and also end of life patients. They a lot to help them feel more connected and have that greater awareness. And so a lot of studies that I did mine accidentally, that's a whole nother story with my husband.

I accidentally do a hero's death.

But yeah, you definitely learn a lot about yourself. And yeah, that was interesting. It was a few years ago and so I know what you're talking about there. And you also, I, to me, I felt more connected to God, more connected to love, more connected to why we're here. Like there was a lot of that that came out of it.

For me.

So I think I know what you're talking about there.

I will say that for those again who are kind of like, on the fence because they think, oh, plant medicine. I mean, people take pharmaceuticals every day.

Oh, yeah.

Every day. Like, I'm just taking something out of the ground that God made.

No side effects. Like, doing it where the other pharmaceuticals have a million things.

Yeah, yeah. The only reason why you would have opinion about it is because someone fed you an opinion that that is untrue. And the reason. And there's a reason why they feed you these opinions. And you have to ask.

I asked my husband. They're like, who was the first one to ever try that? Because where it grows from is, like, manure. I think I'm like, who looked at it and was like, I'm going to try to eat this and see what it does?

And that's so interesting that it grows from shit.

Yeah, it does.

But it's true, you know, it's interesting what comes out of shit. And that's what. That's my life right now. The thing out of this. Yes.

Truly an epiphany.

Oh, there's a thousand epiphanies. I had number one. I understood that I was holding on to a lot of old shit, literally, because that's what happens in your digestion. It's your colon. It processes the world around you. It processes what you consume. And I literally couldn't process anymore because I was holding on to a lot of shit. In fact, cancer. There's a lot of repressed anger that comes from cancer. You know, it's emotions and wherever the cancer is in your body that actually is symbolic of what trauma you may have experienced in the past. A lot of women who experience uterine or especially breast cancer usually have some type of sexual trauma in their past. Yeah, it's very interesting. There's a reason why everyone needs to be in tune with their body and see where things get blocked, because there's a reason why, and they're symbolic of something greater. So with the psilocybin journey, I, you know, realized I had some trauma. I did a Joe Dispenza retreat later that year for my 40th birthday, and I learned how to meditate, like, really deeply. And then I did fufo the next year, which is a toad bed. I mean, I'm on this search. I'm on this journey. And after I got diagnosed with cancer, coincidentally and non coincidentally, I had an ayahuasca trip planned two weeks after, which is. I mean, everyone was shocked that I was going to still attend and go to Costa Rica. I just got discharged from the hospital. But I felt like there's a reason why this medicine called me. There's a reason why this lined up exactly as it did. And so I went to Costa Rica, did four ceremonies of ayahuasca, and I still couldn't understand what I saw or under. You know, it's taken me up until today to truly integrate what I experienced in that ayahuasca ceremony. But something that the shaman did tell me, he said after he did his healing, he said, you need to find your joy again. And I was like, whoa, I don't even know what that means. And so this journey in the last year of healing myself has been a journey towards joy.

And I watch that with you in your classes and the things that you're doing and determined to have fun despite feeling. Having your bad days and feeling sick and having your. Your hard times. I've watched that with you.

Yes. And so I actually meditated and I asked myself what brings me joy? Because, you know, what brings you joy? Your. Your children, your dancing, working out, like being in nature, like making money. You know, all the things. Right. But then when I. In the stillness and the. Why meditation so key for everyone out there, because that's when you can hear yourself and feel yourself. I heard phrase and it said doing absolutely nothing. And I was surprised because I'm a productive human being. I can get 10 things done in one hour.

I'm almost allergic to that statement.

And you say it like, right, that's how I felt. Like, do nothing. Because I don't even watch tv, you know, if it doesn't fit my goals, I'm not doing it kind of deal. And so when I heard that, I didn't understand it until recently, where I've literally done nothing. I'm going to fast forward until a month ago. So I decided I was dealing with some difficult things with my doctors. I mean, I'm. I'm more eastern than I am Western when it comes to things. I'm holistic. But they were really giving me a hard time with pressures for chemo and radiation, and I really just wanted surgery. In all honesty, they should have.

You just wanted it out. You just wanted it out.

You just wanted it out. They refused to take it out. And to be honest, why?

What was the reason?

Because they didn't think it was safe enough to take out. And I should have advocated more. I should have actually left my current healthcare, but I didn't. And I do know that the reason why they said that? Ultimately, I talked to another doctor, and the surgeon said, the reason why we require chemo before is because we noticed that half the people don't come back for chemo after it's taken out. That was his excuse. That was the last surgeon. And I've spoken to many surgeons. I was shocked, but I wasn't shocked.

Because that would be the goal. Like, if you get it out.

I've heard so many different things. But the reason why I don't want to be a conspiracy. I am a conspiracist. It's money. It truly is. It's yours.

The other reason, that's that. That sounds like brainwashing to me, that you have to. You want to tell people this is a standard, that you take it up. So they come back for this.

Yes. And they say it's because it's. Your likelihood of living is longer. But I'm thinking, where are the studies? Show me all the studies. You know, show me everything. Anyways, I didn't get the surgery, obviously, because they refused to give it to me. They kept refusing, refusing, even telling you it was too an infection, Getting a colostomy bag, now my shit's diverted to my stomach kind of deal. And they still wouldn't perform the surgery. And so I said, you know what? I'm just going to go this route 12 weeks. And I created a plan. It was called Operation Save Maria's Life. And I did said I was going to do all of these protocols for the next 12 weeks. And I found a surgeon who would commit to doing the surgery if the tumor shrunk naturally, because they weren't even committing to it for surgery, even if it shrunk naturally. They were saying, no, you have to do this. And so after I had done all my protocols and did all the things, I got rescanned and the tumor actually got a little bit bigger. It didn't spread to major organs. Now I have to make some choices. And so currently I am doing chemo. I'm doing my second round actually, today, later. But I went through a huge ego death in this process. And, yeah, because you had to give.

Up that control and say, okay, I'm doing not what I wanted.

Well, you know, the thing is, it is part of what I wanted because it's part of my contingency plan. I said, if I. If it doesn't shrink, I'll do chemo. And it's going to be six rounds. It's going to be no radiation. This is what we're going to do. It's going to take this long. Like, again, I have to like, think it in my brain in order for it to come alive, right. And for me to fully commit to it. So it was part of my plan. But I also, in that moment, I realized that could die. That never hit me prior that I could possibly die in this process. And it wasn't actual physical death. There was like an emotional. This death of like letting go and just being so angry of everything that I couldn't control in the last year and dealing with everyone and everything. And then I was just so tired. I was tired of going to all the treatments, taking all these supplements, juicing every day. Like, I was just like following this lesson. There was a point when I realized that whatever created the cancer is still creating the cancer because I wasn't stopping. I was still the same Maria that created the cancer. I was hustling. I was hustling to heal. That's what I was doing. And so when I was in this state of just despair, I started to become more still. And I had to, because I was now in pain. And that's what happens in life. You have to feel it. The entire time. I refused to feel this tumor that was inside of me. And I said it out loud, you know, on my socials, but I was talking to the tumor this whole year. And I'm so grateful to a certain degree that they didn't take it out because I was able to have this conversation with this pain that's existed in me since I was very little. And that pains really stems from a lack of self love. Because in that, what I've understood in this journey is that this is a journey towards joy and it's a journey towards you, finding you. You cannot love you if you don't know you. And I didn't know myself because I was so imprisoned in this cycle of busyness, of like completing things, doing things, you know, being rewarded for things, traveling to things. But none of that was making me fulfilling. It wasn't making me happy. I wasn't fulfilled. And so I really had to look at my life. And in doing nothing, just like what my meditation said, doing nothing, I started to find what made me happy. And I found out this is.

Yeah. And not only is that like just such an incredible awareness, but just even how you explained it, it's just so brilliant and so many lessons in that. And I'm sure listeners are feeling the same way I'm feeling hearing you say this, that. That was so powerful what you said. The same Maria. That is Trying to fix it is the same one that created it. Like, that's not going to fix it.

No. And that's another thing is that we are all like, doctor, save me or someone do this or do this, or like we're all, we're giving our power away every single time we want someone else to do something right. And that's what I was doing. Like, I was hoping that the celery juice would heal me or this pill will save me, or this doctor, come cut me, cut this thing out of me. But truly, it doesn't matter what happens. It comes back. It's. We're going to have to go. And I've seen this happen. In fact, I had a lot of people come and tell me their stories. I'll give you a story of someone that I met who went through this whole series of breast cancer treatments, radiation, surgery, like reconstruction, all the things. And as I'm talking to her and she, I could feel her energy. She, she was happy, she was sharing her story, but it looked very exhausting and she looked tired. And then I saw her husband come in the room and they had such a really nasty exchange. It wasn't very. It didn't feel good and it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. And I realized that's this environment's not good for her. You know, it's not healing. And I. And then she told me later that he had left her or he had done this and that. And I'm just thinking, and he's still here, you know. And then I heard recently that she had cancer, came back after the whole fight, an entire fight of, you know, came back. And I wasn't surprised because that's what happens. You. In fact, I have another girlfriend I saw recently who had cancer. She got it taken out immediately. She's like a high powered lawyer and she went straight back into politics, straight back into, you know, and then came.

Back because no lessons were learned, really.

Now she's dealing with it in her lungs and her bones and it's because she didn't learn the lesson. So if you don't learn the lesson, it's going to come back. I don't want this to come back. We have to fix what created the problem. So.

So you're almost, if I'm hearing you correctly, you're almost grateful it's stuck around right now because this is how you got all these lessons and had these were able to understand this.

It took a lot of. To get to the state of gratitude. It took a lot where Are you when you're not grateful, you're in victimhood.

Totally.

You're in victim. And I didn't realize that because who. I'm a victim. I'm never a victim. I'm Maria. You know, I was victim. I was victim to many things. And I didn't realize what I was a victim to until I did the work. I had to do the work to understand who the little Maria that had to control her world, that had to make sure everything was perfect, that she was perfect so that she can survive in the environment that she grew up in. And I had to forgive those people. And what's interesting part is in that they talk about this all the time, that this is a journey towards forgiveness. And you always think, okay, I forgive, I forgive my perpetrator, I forgive, forgive that bully, whatever it is. But really you have to forgive yourself. Because what happened was, is that I forgave others, but they did what they did. I had to adjust myself self in order to forgive them. You know, I had to betray myself in order to make up for their insufficiencies. Like my mother wasn't, you know, a good operator of the house. So I'll operate the house, you know, my. My husband wasn't a good father. So I'll like take care of the kids and I'll play sports and I'll clean the garage, you know, you can't provide. I'll do this, you know, and. And so even though I was forgiving people that hurting me, I was constantly betraying myself to make sure I can hold up this illusion that I was okay when I was not okay. The entire time I held it inside of me and it was the cancer. And so when you release it all and everything falls, the illusion drops.

This is so wild. I've not ever had a conversation with anyone in cancer that has had these awarenesses. Maybe they have and they just haven't talked about it. But this is so powerful. Everything that you're sharing here, like this is so powerful. And I think it's going to add so much more value to people than people just going, here's all the things you do. Here's the celery juice and here's the cut it out. And then because that's very misleading and that doesn't allow everyone to heal, truly.

Heal, this is what I will tell everybody who's listening. And this is something I heard in my meditations and during Aya Ayahuasca. The first thing I heard was, stop lying to yourself. Stop lying to yourself. I Have a great marriage. No, my marriage was not very good. You know, I'm very happy. No, I'm not very happy. Forgive you. Actually, I'm not forget. I'm mad at you. And you keep doing it over and over and over again. I keep forgiving you over and over again, and that's insanity. But who dies when somebody is constantly hurting you? You are. You're dying if you choose to stay in that situation. And after you wake up and become conscious to it, now it's a conscious choice to die. And. And that's what I realized in trying to find my will to live, because I didn't realize I didn't have much will to live, which is shocking because I have so much to live for. Everyone's telling me, actually, all the things I have. I know what I have. I have a great family. I have children, all the things. But actually very tired. You know, I'm a mother. I've been serving these kids for like 15 years. I had three kids back to back. I've been running all these businesses. I mean, I need a break. And I couldn't honor my break. I couldn't honor myself to stop. And I actually didn't have much will to. And that was something I had to. That was another humbling thing because no one wants to say, I don't want to live. The fact is, is that if you have some type of disease, there's something inside of you that's hurting, and there your will is coming down. That's why your immunity is going down, is because there's a part of you that's dying that doesn't want. That doesn't, like, the. The illusion that you're creating in your life. You have to be real and authentic with yourself. This is like, you have to break it all down so you can find yourself again.

Truly, if it had been cut out and healed and celery juiced out and all the things right away, I think you would have started campaigning harder. You would have been working more. You would have started another business. How to. Like, that's.

Yeah. Oh, no, I would have written a book on, like, like, how to conquer your campaign. Yeah. And this is what I know for certain, and this is why I struggle. This. Even when I wrote my book, I never talked about. This is what you need to do. I believe you know this. Like, everyone needs to create a workout routine based upon, like, their own likes and dislikes. Number one, you know, like their diet. If you are eating chicken breast and broccoli, you're not going to stay. It's a diet you can do it for. Like, we all did it.

Competing.

We all did it. We all did it. But then at the same time, we all have our own injuries or our own, you know, weaknesses, all the things and strengths. So even in this cancer journey, there is no perfect path. So it behooves anybody, anybody out there saying, this is the way. This is what you should do. No, that's. Sometimes chemo works for some, sometimes it doesn't work for others. Sometimes, you know, red light therapy and PMF and. And, like, mistletoe and all the things I've done, like, if there's 100 treatments, I did 90 of them.

You did them?

Yeah, I did them. But what I know for absolute certainty, that everyone's path is different. You cannot judge others or tell someone what to do. That's not your place. They need to find their own intuitive awareness of where they need to go. That's something that men and women, but especially women, you need to find your intuition. You lost your intuition the moment you started betraying yourself. The moment you started betraying yourself, you start to lose your sense of internal navigation. So you need to go back, remove all the stuff that doesn't that's not real, find yourself again. And when you find yourself, then you can start being guided by the light, truly. Because every decision you're making in life, and especially in a cancer journey, is coming from fear or faith. And a lot of people and I always struggled with this from the very beginning of the diagnosis. I asked myself, everyone's so scared of dying. Like, that's all they're scared of. They're scared of dying. So they do all the things. The question is, like, why do you want to live? Yeah, like, why do you want to live? Like. Like, instead of focusing on the fear of dying, why don't you focus on your love for living? You know, that's brilliant. Live your life. If you know, you have limited time, and we absolutely know when you are a cancer, you know, patient, then why don't you live your life with as much joy, happiness, love, and gratitude right now, every single day instead of the. The last year of your life and pain in all the things, and because of all the treatments, and it's just so sad. I understood all of this as I was going through this process.

This is brilliant. Everything that you're sharing. I mean, this is, to me, the answer, like, listening to you like, wow, this sounds like the ultimate spiritual leveling up. Honestly, like, this is. This is really facing things. Are you Scared now or what? What is your feeling around it now?

I've never been scared of death because I have such strong faith. And again, I was. My biggest fear growing up was death until I had that spiritual awakening my twenties, and I understood that, well, we're all going to transition. Number one, death is inevitable for everybody. It's how you live your life. Stop focusing on death. Stop. Start focusing on life kind of deal. But where am I now? I am so happy in ways that I've never been happy. I'm, like, almost reborn. I'm not almost. I am reborn. Because we have so many different deaths every single day. I mean, our cells die and regenerate every single day. Right. But for me, I. The Maria that created the cancer is not the Maria today. And I can. I can tell, you know why. I had a video that happened the first chemo. I don't know if you saw it, but, like, it was accidental. And I said, hey, you guys want to see my medicine? Because I had a chemo. I had my chemo on me because I had to have a slow drip for 46 hours. The old brewery would never call that medicine. I was shocked that my subconscious. Yes. Said that. And then I was eating and I was tasting a fry. Like, I could taste how it was made. I could taste like. Oh, they must have, you know, like a. French fries. Yeah, like a French fry. Like, I was, like, eating it and almost like I was eating it for the first time and I could taste how it was, like, cooked. It was weird because I never tasted food before. It's kind of like being reborn. Yeah.

Because you were not in touch with your emotions or your feelings, and you were not present.

So I wasn't part of it. That's what happens. Because when you're part of. Everything was functional to me.

Yeah, I get it. It's so relatable. Yeah, yeah. So relatable.

I just need to eat it so I can survive, so I can go and do the next thing right.

Yeah. To get the fix, not to enjoy the process.

No, no, none of that. So it's so different. Like, every single time I bring my boys to school, we see a gratitude prayer, and I talk to them about things and. And there's little nuggets every day that I share with them. You have. It's such a different way of living when you exist because you're present versus trying to just in the past. And I think a lot of people. No, I don't think. I know a lot of people are just robotic, like Joe Dispenza says 90% of the thoughts you think of today, you thought of yesterday. Everyone's in a cycle. They can't get out of the cycle. They don't even know how to, because it's embedded in your biology. It's embedded in your cells from your generations. You know, I understood that. You know, as I meditated and did plant medicine and did my spiritual work, like I am my mother, in fact, my whole life, I said I would not become her, and yet I became her. When my mom passed away, she had many diseases. She had a colostomy bag like she had a chess port like I do. She had a very difficult marriage, just like I did. And I. So I recreate. I became her without wanting to become her.

But you're almost breaking the generational thing here. It seems like.

Yeah, but that's what we're here to do.

Was your mom somebody who was doing all the healthy things to her?

No.

Was she a different type? Okay, so that's an interesting thing to bring up, too. And I want to talk a little bit about more about that there because, like, I look at that with my mom. My mom and I have very different lifestyles, us, but we have the same markers on our blood. And I notice the same things creeping.

Up on me that.

So what is your take now on the healthy things? Like what? Where do you think? Like, because I get what you're saying, like, I don't think that is the thing that makes or breaks things anymore. So what is your take on all of that?

So, number one, when I was there, when my mother passed away, like, the only person there, just coincidentally, quote, unquote, there's no such thing. But I saw her and I instantly. I thought, this woman, this powerhouse. She was a powerhouse. She built businesses. She was so care. Yes. She's so charismatic. She walked in the room. You knew this woman. She can. She can move objects with her eyes. She made, you know, everything. And so I saw this woman who's now sickly, who could handle. She literally. She fixed everyone's problems to everyone in the family. She was the person and how she couldn't be. And I saw her and I thought, this woman who I love with all my heart did not live the life she wanted to live, because I also knew a lot about her. I saw her struggle. I saw her depressions. I saw how she distracted herself with things and diamonds and career and all the things. And I just knew that she wasn't living the life she wanted and that love was centered to that self. Love and also love in people that she was in love with and the people, the things that she was just loving like in her, her ambitions. But what I know for certain right now, and I knew this when I started the journey and when I knew this at a young age, and we all know this, is that love will heal you and the lack of love will kill you. I didn't know what that meant in the beginning of my journey. But as I continue on this path, I understood that I did not know who I was because I was trained to be who I was. Kind of deal. I didn't love myself. I didn't honor like these things intuitive hits that I had. And I just never. I just allow things to continue even though I wasn't okay with it. So now I started saying no and to things I felt very no about. Started saying yes to everything I said. Yeah, I really felt in my heart I felt yes about before that I was so sacrificial. I was very obligation oriented. Yeah, I was very me last kind of person. Even though everyone around me thinks I'm a me first kind of person. It was really interesting how perception works, right? But what I know for certain is that we all live a life that we will and that inevitably die from. We just have to live our life with a lot of love, authenticity, compassion. Because there's nothing we can control in this world. Nothing we don't know. The stock market may crash tomorrow, we may lose our child, we might get cancer, all of the things. But it should never change the internal spirit that existed prior to coming into this existence and will exist after this. Because in this world your soul will be tested. And I'm not going to make that bully make me think people are assholes. I'm not going to make this cancer make me feel like I'm a victim and that life sucks. And I'm not going to make my, my whatever, my ex husband, even though he's not horrible at all. Although there was a lot of horrible things that happened between us. I'm not going to make it change who I am, which is someone who believes in love and believes it has faith in the goodness of things and people and that God, there's a reason why everything happens. So you cannot control anything. That's all false. Everything is false. You think you're in control, but you really aren't in control of anything when.

It comes to like the habits because you're still, you're still doing a lot of the habits that like I like to do. And I see when you look at food now, though. How do you feel about that? I know you said that. That's really not a lot to do.

With it, but do you. Oh, it has a lot. Everything.

Yeah. So talk about. I want to hear your opinion on that because it sounds like you can't control things with that, but where is your. Where do you land on that right now, knowing you did all the perfect things?

Okay, here's the thing with cancer. That's weird. And this goes dieting. So many people with opinions, like people say, go on the carnivore diet. Don't, you know, no sugar at all. They'll say just fast or vegan or everything. Like there's no correct path. Again, you have to figure out what works for you. In fact, I told someone recently I was eating chocolate. And of course it has sugar in it. And of course people think that cancer feeds off of sugar, which it does, but it also feeds off of other things, you know, like it's there. I mean, I didn't eat a lot of sugar yet I got cancer.

Exactly.

But what I know for sure, and this is again my journey towards joy. If this makes me happy, this pride makes me happy, my cells are going to be happy.

That's right.

Because everything begins from an emotion. Right? And however your body interprets that, it'll feed that emotion. And so the most, a lot of my life, I would eat something I hated. I didn't like it very much, or I learned to like it.

I can't do tilapia.

That was my. That was my quote, unquote discipline to like light things I didn't like. You know what I mean? And. And that killed me, literally. I was loving things I didn't really love. I was eating things I didn't really like.

Yeah, it was a lie to yourself.

Just like I was doing things I didn't really want to do. Again, going back to the lie. So in terms of the diet that I'm on now, I do whatever. If I'm hungry, I will eat. If I'm not, I will not. And naturally I will veer towards things that bring me life, which is usually vegetables and fruits and like, like all the things that are healthy for you. Your body will tell you. If you listen to your body, your body will tell you what it needs. But if you're not in tune with that, you will just eat whatever people tell you to eat and you'll instill you're forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do. You know what I'm saying? So now you.

I love that you just said that about fruit and veggies because as somebody who's a. Teaches nutrition, I have. I'm such a huge fan of fruits and vegetables for the reason you said they bring. I feel like they bring us life. And I feel like they've been so villainized with keto and carnivore lately and it's. Or the sugar, like the carrots and like what. So I love that you just intuitively said that. That's something I've intuitively felt, is that we need that.

Yeah, absolutely. Because people told me to eat all a carnivore diet, you know, during this process, and I could not even imagine. No, no, thank you. Like dead meat.

You're just eating dead meat all day. That's.

Yeah, that's not. That's not. You are. You become what you eat. Truly. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with eating dead meat because there's actually a lot of nutrients.

No. I love protein, but not as my only nutrient.

No. And this is the answer. The answer is in you. That's. Ultimately, this whole podcast is done. The answer is in you. And the only way you can know the answer is to be still and to listen to you. You don't know you until you find you. And how do you find you? You have to find what is not you. And when you. And when you realize what is not you, a lot of things break down. And that's where the emotional trauma and all the things, like I saw things that I didn't want to see, but I. There was the reality I didn't want to see that I had a bad marriage, you know what I mean? But I had to see it in order to survive kind of deal, you know, like I had. I didn't want to see that certain people were very toxic because I was. Again, imagine you have friends that you. If you didn't call them, you. There wouldn't be a relationship. So you said, I have this friend. But you already know that the only reason why you're friends with them is because either you're calling them or they're using you for some other reason. But if you stop giving to them, they wouldn't be your friend. So you had to break down the illusions of, like, all of these attachments that you have that truly aren't serving you. But you think it is, but it's all just fake because you created this theater that this is what it is, but it's not. That's all a lie.

Did you know what you just said, find what is not you, was an epiphany and awareness that Michelangelo taught when he built the statue of David. Did you know that?

Is that what happened?

So I just got back from Florence, so I was just, like, really in this? Because I just went and saw the statue of David in Florence and the story behind that. It was a big block of marble that nobody thought was usable. And he created this masterpiece, this, like, perfect statue of David. And when people ask how he created it, he said he just cut away everything that was not David.

It's so powerful.

Literally, that was his last. So what you just said just, like, tied right back into that.

And that gives me confirmation because I actually never, you know, I think things, but I don't express things through words yet. I eventually always do, either through verbally or through, you know, the written word. But I. That's the first time I ever said that I didn't understand what I was.

Ties exactly to his lesson that he shared. Like, he literally was working on an unusable block of marble that some of the best artists said they could not touch it. And he didn't try to build David from it. He chipped away everything that was not.

And that goes against, again, both of our just linear thought. Like, in this. This world right now, we always think, build, build, build. But what about breaking it all down? That's what it was. I was breaking it all down. Let's break. I was burning everything. Let's burn the whole house down, because I'm about to die. That's how I saw it. I'm gonna die. So if we all are.

We all are.

We all are. But people. And people don't realize it, you could die again from a car crash or from something that's just instant like that, totally. But live every day like you're gonna die. If you're gonna die, what do you want to make sure you're doing if you're gonna die? You don't want to be doing something you don't want to do. You want to be someone you don't want to be. You don't want to be around someone you don't want to be around. But yet we are. But we are around these things every single day, these toxic things that are not serving our happiness and joy every single day. Like, why are you eating that hamburger? Does that make you happy? Like, you're not even eating it. You're not even tasting it.

Right? But if it, like, truly makes you happy and you're enjoying it, that's if.

It truly makes you happy. Then eat that thing. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Honestly, most people don't eat and really absorb the happiness of the burger. They're really just eating their anxiety. They're eating their stress. They're buying. They're buying things that validates that they worked. Because what did they work all this time for if they're not having a Gucci bag? You know what I mean? Like, it's just interesting. We all need this validation for whatever. But truly, are we really present in our life?

Okay, here's what I'm hearing from you, just all the. What I'm listening and learning from you. I don't believe cancer is ever going to go away from our world for this reason. I think it's going to be an ultimate teacher. I don't think there's a way that we're ever going to get rid of it. Two, I think you are going to be that story that had stage four and do not have it anymore. And the reason I believe that is you truly have the lessons. Because I've talked to many people in stage four that did not have the lessons, and they went down fighting. They never learned the lessons. You have the lessons. You're ready to part with it.

Yeah, you're all going to die. Number one. But.

And you're not attached, like, just like what you just said, you're not attached.

I know that when we do die, I had served my purpose. I had, you know, done what I needed to do. I. I know that I will die with a smile kind of deal. That's what our goal should be in life is to die with a smile. To die with knowing and excitement, to go into the next phase of our life. But if you're not dying with a smile, then you're not really, truly, you haven't learned the lesson.

Did your mom die with the smile?

No, she didn't. She didn't want to. She was holding on for, you know, it was. She was in so much pain. I know I was there to give her permission actually to pass because it was very difficult for everyone in our family, even though she was extremely sick. But I wanted her to just. To be strong. And that's what we are for others, just so you know, is that in our existence, we give permission for others to exist. And in this journey, like, I always thought I wanted to change the world through fitness, obviously. But what I understood in this journey is that, no, the only person you need to fix is you. And in fixing you and healing you, the world heals. With. With you.

Yeah.

Because we're all one. Even though people can't really relate to some of my life because I have such a different life and they have such different lives, we can relate to pain, we can relate to passion. We can relate to sadness and depression. We can relate to healing. And so as I find myself and heal myself, people are finding and healing themselves. With me, it's powerful. In fact, like I told you in the beginning, I really lacked a will to live. And as I just continuously shared online, because that's just my personality. I've had a website and a blog since 2005. That's how I process things. Yeah, I've always processed things through writing. But I realized that other people were like, I'm reading your stuff and I'm getting inspired, or this is really relating to my life. Or I can't believe, you know, like, they're looking forward to my stuff and they're telling me they're praying for me. Which was not shocking, but it was shocking when people would say, I don't know. I don't know anything about you, but if you passed, I. I already feel how sad this world will be without you kind of deal. I didn't know I had that impact, which is weird. Okay, again, because I'm a quote unquote influencer. But you really. It doesn't. This goes back to. You don't know what people go through. You could be the most beautiful, the most rich, totally influential, the most whatever, and feel like you're nothing at all, that you don't matter at all. In fact, I will say that most people feel that way regardless of what they look like on the outside or. Or how they appear. And so it wasn't until I felt the love and the prayers of other people who are wanting me to live, like I needed their energy as much as they needed my energy. Yeah, that's where we're all one. So self love is so key in the process of just defining your purpose in life. Because really, as a mother changes, the whole house changes.

Well, I can see the change in you big time. And. And the difference where old Maria would be, you know, tackling and hacking down the like, no excuses enumeria is like embracing and surrendering. Like, even watching you do that, it's like pole dancing or something. With the colostomy bag, I'm like, what? Like, she's making that look glamorous. Like, people want a bag now.

Like, what the heck?

Like, you're gonna have designer colostomy bags? It's just like, watching that, something that would really take somebody's dignity down or they would let it. How you've let that teach you lessons.

You know, your ability to adapt is going to be so huge in life, everybody. And that's one of my power tools in my life, is my ability to adapt. It sucks. Yes, but you can't change it. In fact, I was. That was the biggest thing I had a hard time with in this journey is letting go. Like, there's a point where I was just, like, I just been letting go. I've been letting. I'm like, God, I've let go. What do I need to let go of? Like, I'm still dealing with so much pain. And then I realized in a meditation, I didn't need to let go. I just needed to accept. Yeah, because there's things that will remain in your life. There are people, there is energies, there's family, there's whatever that's causing you strain, and you're trying to let that go or let. Or forgive them. No, you just have to accept everything as it is. You have to accept you have a colostomy bag. You have to accept you have cancer. You have to accept that you didn't have the best childhood. You know what I mean? You have to accept your divorce. And as you accept, you embrace it all. And you just allow everything to be as it is without changing anything. Because there is no such thing as control. Right. And yet that's what we do. I want to change that. I want to change that person. I want. I want them to react this way. No, just allow everything to be. And as you allow everything to be, then you can now direct the energy that you've been directing outward inward, because that's where you have to focus. Because whatever you focus on increases. And so you need to focus all that energy that you've been giving everything else into you, and that's how you heal. Because as you start to look at you, you start to look at, wow, I didn't. I didn't realize I was lying about that, or I didn't realize that person was like that. And it's a very hard look in the mirror.

And I love your choice of words here, because, like, you are looking at yourself as healed despite the tumor. You're not saying I'm healed when the tumor's gone. Like the tumor has healed you.

You know what's interesting is I don't even know what I'm saying. I just exist like you. Thank you for sharing that, because I'm not. I can Only be who I am. I don't know what.

No, you feel you've healed your trauma, you've healed your weight, need of control, You've healed this. This whole thing. And it's because of the tumor versus most others, me included, would have said, I'm healed when the tumor's gone. And. But it's like you have healed because of it. So you're. It's like you. You're living with it. You've, like, surrendered to it. That's what's healed you. That's wild.

Yes. Yes. And so I actually had. Again, I'm encouraging everybody to meditate out there, okay? Encouraging everyone to sit in their stillness. I know it's very difficult. There's a powerful reason why. And if you say you can't, it's because, number one, you said you can't. But if your mind keeps running, it's the observation of what's running. That's what meditation is like. We all have a very skewed way of what meditation looks like. No, it's just you observing your thoughts. Who. What are your thoughts? And why are you thinking it? That's really what it is. And so what I asked myself, you know, how do you cure cancer? This is my most recent meditation last week. And I heard that you don't. It's not something you cure. It's something that cures you so good. And then I'm not just talking about cancer. I'm talking about every single thing out there that's incurable, that you don't know where it comes from, like autoimmune issues. You know, there's people who are. Have. I have a friend who's getting paralyzed in the next 20 years because she's getting her back is stiffening. It's getting. Yeah, it's just. It's. There's so many things that people, you know, arthritis, they don't know where these diseases come from. But yet, if you do the work, you're going to understand where it came from, because everything stems from an emotion. In fact, everything we see today is going to stem from whether you're happy or sad. Yeah, you're happy. You'll see happy things. If you're trying to get to an appointment and you're late, every red light's going to hit you, Every person's going to annoy you. You know, so you have to understand where it came from. If you're in pain, where are you in pain? This is not your pain. It's representative of a pain that happens inside of you. Where is that coming from? And then you understand where it came from. But after. Here's the key, though, and this is something that's really important. You don't want to live in that pain. Like, understanding. There's a lot of people who live in their trauma. They know what happened to them, and they live in that trauma, and they find like, they trauma bond. Like, yeah, we all experience this. And now we're fighting this, you know, and now we're telling everyone to only eat keto, you know what I mean? Like, as if they're against something now, because this is the way it goes. That's not what it is at all. You know, you have to see what it is, because what disease does is that it teaches you how it came. Like, if you do the work now, you understand the root to how it came. But simultaneously, as you're unbecoming, you're becoming what you were designed to be. You're becoming what you were designed to do. The reason why you're imbalanced is because you're not doing what you were supposed to do in life. Your whole body was telling you, this is not the person you're supposed to be with. This is not the job you're supposed to exist in. This is not, you know, all of the things. Now you have to address it because you need to find your joy, you know? And so as you find your joy, you're finding your direction.

Yeah.

And as you find your direction, there's your purpose. And I know. And as you have your purpose, everyone in this life, whether they openly say it or not, they want to feel purposeful. They want to feel like they matter. They want to know that there's a reason why there's. They're living this life right now. Media and all the things are telling us, well, if you're not beautiful and rich, you're not really living this life. If you're not changing people's lives, then you're not. You don't really matter. But actually, you do matter. There's a reason why you are created, and it's up to you to figure that out.

Wow. So good. Maria, this is just been. This is probably my favorite interview I think I've ever done. And I just think I learned so much from you. And I know people are going to want to connect with you. I know you're about to embark on. You said six treatments. You're on your second, Correct? Is that. Did I hear that right?

Yeah.

How can people best support you and where can they follow your journey?

Support is Always in prayers and energy. And in terms of following me, it's Maria Kang Fitness or Maria Kang. Anywhere online. I post a lot, mostly on Instagram. I don't know. That's my happy place.

Yeah.

It's interesting is that people always say, like, you know, social media is, you know, what it is. They really demonize it. But I actually. I don't know if you feel this way. I love social media.

It's a connector for me. I love it.

Yeah, I love it. I love connecting to people. It's been such a beautiful community for me, and I think we need to really switch that thought process. It's only bad if it distracts you from you.

Yeah.

You know, like, if you're just watching and you're not doing or you're not learning. Yeah, it's not good. But if it's a way that you can communicate and connect, then it's. It's a whole different ball game. So. I really enjoy Instagram. I do a lot of stories. My blog is where I actually started when I was 25. I was single when I started it, and it just talks about my journey towards when I went viral, when I got married, when I got divorced, you know, when I got cancer, all the things. But I learned so much, too, in doing this podcast with you, too, Jill, because we truly are just reflections of each other, expressions and mirrors of each other. And there's things that you said that I would never have been able to. I don't see because I'm just me. So it's nice to have a mirror from someone who says that I'm healed, because I never said that. I do say that all the time in my subconscious. And I wake up, I'm like, I'm healed. I'm healed. You know, but when someone else says it, it's a whole. It's different. Yes. It's always different when somebody else says it. Well, this is what I.

That's what I see for you. Because, you know, I just think of interviews and conversations I've had, and this went the way I hoped it would go. It wasn't about, make sure you do all these tests and you do all this and you do this, and this is how I conquer. It was like, that would have been the old style, you know, this is like, you really just express something so. So amazing that I think so many people need to hear. It's about becoming who you truly are. It's about chipping away what's not you. It's about healing that.

And you know what? Every Disease. Any setback is a course correction in your life. It's just a course correction. You have to redirect your ship. That's what it's teaching you. You need to redirect your ship. But in order to redirect your ship, you need to know where you're going. And this is what. This is the last thing I would like to end with, which is, despite finding a will to live and also discovering my own love for myself, I needed to dream. Like, dream what you have right now, everyone in their life, they only have what they know. You can't have what you don't know you can't have in that. That requires you to have faith in the unseen. And this is where faith comes in. Whatever you believe in, you have to have faith despite all odds that something can happen or you could feel something you've never felt. Do things you've never done. Because problem with, you know, wanting to live is how hard is it to want to live when you don't even like the life you have?

True.

That's where you have to ask yourself. That's the truth teller, you know, like it's. Cancer's a truth teller. Disease is a truth teller. Divorce is a truth teller, you know, any setback is a truth teller. So you have to be honest with yourself. So after being honest with yourself, it requires you to be a little boy and a little girl again. Because when you come into this earth, it's so exciting. Like you're experiencing new things. Like, oh, that's. That makes me go really fast. Or I can run, really, you know, and all that. It's just so wonderful when you live in a life in the eyes with curiosity and what could happen and miraculous things constantly, you know, come out of the door. That's the way you have to live your life. There's no control. You don't know what's ahead. Anything can happen. But right now, what you have is what you know. You have to really go into the unknown. As you continue your life's journey, challenge yourself, do things that scare you. Everything is on the other side of fear. Every single thing is on the other side of fear. Break those limitations. Be careful of the words you say, especially when you say it like, I'm not into hot foods. I've said that before. I was eating a sandwich with a jalapeno in it the other day. I was shocked. I was. I'm breaking boundaries. In fact, from eating foods. I never. I thought I had all these allergies to different foods. I'm eating it now. It's incredible. I'm eating it now and it doesn't affect me. You know, it's amazing because it was all in your mind. Yeah.

So much is your belief set around it. Well, this is so powerful. Maria, thank you so much. You all follow her on Maria Kang Fitness, find her blog, follow her Instagram, and we promise to send you those prayers and energy. Thank you so much for today. Thank you, thank you.