The Real Reason You Feel Like Life Is Flying By (The Fix Is Simpler Than You Think)

When we think back to our most memorable experiences, we can remember every detail. How we felt, where we were, how excited we were, or how down we were. But experiences are really what set the tone for incredible memories. And I see as we navigate midlife, a lot of us get distracted in daily to do so. We're caught up in our phones or our laptops or to do lists, and we seem to make less memorable experiences. And time seems to compound. It feels like time is just flying by. A lot of times when I talk to women, they say, gosh, it seemed like time was so expansive when we were younger, and now it just seems to be flying by. One of the things I've been very committed to in the last several years is how can I create more memories, more experiences? And when I am looking at where I'm investing time and money, it is in those things. And experiences in travel and being with friends, in things that create memories. When I wanted to do a topic around this conversation today, I thought, I have to reach out to Jesse, my friend Jesse, because she. She is one of those people that is epic at creating experiences. Now, what she truly does, what she does in her career, she'll say she's an event coordinator. She does a lot of top events. She's worked with some very, very big names. She's like a concierge event coordinator. But what I think she really does is creates memorable experiences. I remember walking with her not too long ago in Bali. She was the one that coordinated that whole trip. And I was asking her a gazillion questions about her life. And I said, like, when your kids had a birthday, did you do just a normal birthday or did you have to make a big experience? What your friends, when you go to lunch, are you always thinking and experience? And her answers fascinated me. So thanks so much for being here today, Jesse.

Well, thank you. I'm excited to be here.

Before I dive into the gazillion questions I have for you, because I want to really help women with how they can do this and curate in their own life. Can you just tell us a little bit about your back and like, how did you even get into this? Was this just one of those natural things, or did you learn how to create these incredible experiences and events?

Yeah, well, I would say I've always kind of been the one that planned the homecoming dances and the spring breaks with my friends back in high school. But really how I got into the industry is I had a quarter life crisis. I went to college. I was a broadcast journalism major, and I Was sending my VHS tape right out to the different stations and I had a quarter life crisis. I was like, I don't even like watching the news. It's sad, it's depressing. What am I doing? So, so I pivoted. I moved to San Diego, lived in a beach house with way too many people. It was a one bedroom, there was like six of us crammed in there. And I just started looking for jobs. And I got a job with a company called the Learning Annex that put on events with speakers and best selling authors and celebrities. So I have been in this industry and since I was, you know, right. Fresh out of college. But I would say the style of my events has evolved as well. Like you said, experiences. I thrive on experiences. So now when someone hires me to do an event, I'm like, okay, yes. However, how can we create these little magic moments, these touch points that'll make it an experience for everyone?

What do you think people do wrong when they, when you just look. And I'm not even thinking necessarily big, huge, giant events, but we can, we can go there too. But what do you think people do wrong in events which makes people feel like, gosh, that was just draining or I'm tired or not a great experience?

Yeah. I mean, what makes experiences is kind of looking at the whole thing, you know, like the colors, the graphics, the coffee breaks, making sure you give enough breaks. You know, a lot of times people like, when they're doing an event, they cram way too much in. And the magic moments are really in those times when you're connecting with people, right? The attendees or your friends. So it's like making sure you're really putting some breaks in. But then I think also it's like, don't just think because like if you're putting on an event and you're doing it at a hotel or something, that you can't still create little epic moments for people. I'll give you an example. One of my clients, they're called AT1 Ventures, it's a venture capital firm, okay? They have to do every single year, an agm, an annual general meeting. Boring, right? These events are typically where once a year you get all your investors together. You're reporting on numbers, stats, facts, what companies you're investing in. I'm like, there's no reason we can't make it an experience. One of the companies they invest in is cruise foam. Okay? It's foam company. They also invest in this company called Verve Coffee. I'm like, let's do instead of doing A coffee break from the hotel. Let's drop these foam coolers with the coffee in. Right? Let's surprise and delight and really work in these magic moments. I'll give, you know, example. Like, you. You and I have been on many trips together. You've been on lots of events. When we were in Italy, I always like to try to put in a little surprise and delight, I call them. So you guys, you knew we were going to be going on a Vespa city tour, but you didn't know there were going to be some little magic moments along the way. We had gave out gelato coupons and everyone got to get gelato. Right. It's like some of these little things, these little touch points don't cost a ton of money. And you can organize them ahead of time for your girls trip or your family trip or your work trip ahead of time and just surprise and delight people. A low cost point.

Okay, I. And I've lived firsthand with this with you, so I see that. When you say surprise and delight, I think people's brains automatically go to, this has to be epic or I'm not creative or how do I do that? Help us, like, if I want to kind of take it down to the level, like, we're just getting together with some girlfriends. So somebody is going to a lunch with some girlfriends. Maybe it's they're celebrating someone's birthday or whatever. Help us, like, what are some ways that, like, you could surprise and delight there? Like, what would make that special special or different versus, like we're just showing up for lunch and everyone's bringing the little, you know, the same thing that we always do.

Yeah, I mean, like, little inexpensive gifts are always fun, right? Especially like wherever you're going. Like, let's say you were doing a girls trip to San Diego. Maybe you're doing a fun little food basket with all San Diego food companies. Or maybe you're like all female, you know, you're supporting female owners in San Diego. That kind of stuff is like so delightful. Right? Or maybe you're going out for a girlfriend's birthday. I'll use an example. Dawn Eason, a friend of mine and a client, it was her 50th birthday, so we went out for her birthday after. And I'm like, I went ahead of time and I said, we need a signature cocktail for her. It needs to be hot pink. It needs to smoke. Cause she's smoking hot. Right? She likes spicy margarita. Well, that was me just stopping in ahead of time and coming up with the Bartender saying, hey, I want a specialty cocktail for her on her 50th birthday. So I think you can just put a little bit of creativity into, of really knowing like what your girlfriend's like or your co workers like, and then surprise and delight them that way.

You know, I have a friend, a good friend of mine who I. She's like a high promoter personality and I always just. She stands out as that person that makes everybody feel special on their birthday. So like, I remember on my birthday one year, she didn't come with just like a, a gluten free donut and a thing of flour. She came with like a mound of flours and like a huge box of gluten free donut. It's like she goes over the top. But I always remember that about her and it made me realize how like, I want to make my friends feel special on their birthday. I want to do that extra thing. It's so interesting to me that our brains don't automatically go there, but we'll remember the other person that does that. Do you think like, did you have that kind of promoter brain? Did you have to learn these skills? Like, how did you develop that? Because you're so good at that.

Thank you. I mean, I will say I personally am like so uncomfortable when people celebrate me. Like if they plan stuff for me, like birthdays, I get like anxious. I love, like my love language is creating experiences for people and it has always been that way, right? It's like if I was gonna make a family dinner, it's like when I was 10 years old, I wanted to set a cool looking table, right? So I do feel like it's been in me for a while. I will say what's important though. And I make all of my best friends do this. My family, my kids, my co workers is I make them take the love language quiz.

Okay?

We did this with my nephews, my teenage kids, my sister, my mom. Just last Valentine's Day and we had him over and we talked about that. And I think it's really important because some people might like gifts, right? If I know that about my girlfriend or my boss or it might be words of affirmation or quality time. One of my best friends, her love language is quality time and touch. Like, she literally just like wants to hang out and like needs hugs. Like she just needs that, right? So it's like, how easy is it if you know this about all those important people in your life? But I've even done it with my co workers, right? When I'm Bringing in women and men on my team, that's important for me to know. If it's words of affirmation, how easy is it for me just to go and stop and take a couple minutes to thank them. Right.

I feel like yours has to be. Yours has to be acts of service and affirmation. Is that yours?

Words of affirmation. Way top on my.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. How do people take that test like that? Is it something you Google and find it? I know, I don't mind.

I can give you the link and you can go to it. It's free. But it's so fascinating. It takes a couple minutes.

Yeah.

Have everyone do it.

What's your acts of service and words of affirmation. And Brooks is the opposite. His definitely physical touch. And so my daughter's is gifts. So it's like. So I definitely know that about them. But I never thought about having my friends knowing what all my friends are and other family members. That's key.

It's fun just to do on a girls trip. Start it off that way and then just share about it.

Yeah. Okay. So when you go to events that Jesse has organized, what I noticed about your events is sometimes people do goofy things at events and it makes everyone feel uncomfortable or like half the room's uncomfortable. You know, have a way of making it inclusive for everybody. Is that something you've, like, intentionally thought through? How did. How did you do that? And help us, like, look at big events, like, what is going wrong versus why? Some just feel like a huge hit.

Yeah. I mean, I would say whoever's leading the event, if they're uncomfortable dancing on stage, the whole audience is going to be uncomfortable dancing.

Oh, so the lead. So it's based on who the leader is, who's running it.

Totally. Like, you know, an event you're speaking at. Coming up, Shalene Johnson's camp be more. She goes there, right. With the fun crazy outfits and the dance breaks. And so the women go there. We're like modeling that. You've been to your best life events. Right. It's our leaders get up and they dance and they're fun. But if they weren't good at that, that would be awkward. I would never like. We don't do dance breaks at that at one venture thing. Right.

That's okay. This makes a lot of sense what you just said, because you're right. That's where the awkwardness comes in. If you're hosting an event and you're not, that's not your personality. But you're like Oh, I should do dance breaks. Because I've seen that if that's not your personality, it's not going to feel right 100%.

And it's the same thing, right. It's like when you're at events and you're like, I don't know, doing meditations, like, it only works if the person on stage, the expert, is into that. Right. It's like, we wouldn't force that in the wrong environment. So I think it's important to read the room that makes so.

And then. No, yeah, yeah, you're right. Now I'm thinking through a bunch of events that was, like, awkward. It's because the leader was inserting it because they thought they should. But that's not their personality.

No. So, you know, Chalene and I are, like, working on this upcoming event, and it's like, we're gonna do some really cool stuff. We're gonna take women through some great processes. We're gonna talk about some uncomfortable topics. But it's her right, since she's not uncomfortable with these topics, it's safe for the whole room to be, you know, to listen on some of these topics.

How do you hone in clients? Because, like, when you're. I would imagine when you work with some visionaries or some super creative people, they have a gazillion ideas. How do you help them figure out, like, these are the. The root things, or this is how we have to do it, or this is how we're working in here.

Yeah. So I've learned, especially because I do a lot of international trips, right. That we all digest information different. Some people need to read. Right. They have to read it. Some people have to hear it. We have to have a conversation about it, or a voice note. And some people have to see it. I'm a very visual person. I need to see stuff on paper. So what I always do is it's the rule of threes. When I'm working with any client. I'm gonna put it in those three formats to make sure we're aligned and we totally get it. But then, like, how do I work with them when they're a visionary and they have a million ideas? That's great. I love your ideas, but I'm gonna give you the facts about it. Right? And I'm always gonna give it to you in those rule of threes and then give you in that rule of three. I always like to give three options, too. So let's talk about something like silly, like a pen, right? Like, you have to order a pen. For a workshop. It's like I'm gonna put it in like a budget format. You can read it. I'm gonna give you a visual. Like here. Well, here's two of the three of three pens for Chalene, right?

Yep.

I'm gonna put on paper for her and I'm gonna let her see the price and let her pick. Because at the end of the day, it still is your event, right. I want it to be your personality and you to pick it. But it's like I'm gonna try to narrow it down for you right now. And sometimes it's also like, hey, that's a great idea, but I gotta tell you all the way, you know, we can do it, we can absolutely do it. But here's what's gonna happen, right? It's going to delay your event, it's going to slow down it. So I'm always going to tell you the truth as well.

When your kids were younger and you wanted to make memorable experiences for them, help us with like some things that you did or some things that you thought through. Because I'm assuming your kids parties were just like crazy. Out of this world with the memories.

They. They were so fun. But mostly for me, right? Like at the beginning of like when my kids were little and I would throw these birthday parties, my husband and I would get in like the biggest fights and I'd be like, you just need to leave. Because it's my hobby. My hobby is like creating experiences for people. Truly it is. So like, I love going over the top. But it all started with a theme. Like what were they into? Right. I would just. One year, my son, he was 4, he was into dodgeball. So I went there, you know, with the dodgeball theme at a park and everything. The candy looked like dodgeballs. The centerpieces, the, you know, we brought in, we did dodgeball. My daughter one year wanted to have a pool party. So we did, you know, the sunshine theme. It's just, I think for me it's like zoning in on a theme and then colors.

Right.

You've seen this at all the events that, that, that you've come to with me. There's always going to be like a little thorough a theme and then the little touch points along the way are going to lead to that as well.

I feel like your energy is contagious. I want to give one example that I think this idea did not stem from you, but I know it kind of came because of you. So let me explain what I mean. So I went on one of Jesse's events with I, your best life. And this was a recent one to Bali. And the trip was amazing. Like, all other than me getting sick, which had nothing to do with Jesse or the event, the trip was incredible. But when we got home months later, we got a gift in the mail around the holidays. And it was a photo album, Like, a really curated photo album with pictures of us and the group. But it was like, you could tell it was personalized to each member. Did somebody really put some thought and care into it, like bringing back the memories and telling the story of Bali? And it was like a really amazing gift that drew emotion and memory and reminded us of stuff. And I thought right away I got it, and I thought, this is so thoughtful and creative. And when I immediately messaged Jesse, she's like, oh, that wasn't my idea. That was somebody else's idea on the group. And it's incredible. But I know Jesse, that was kind of inspired because of how you've taught to curate memories and feelings and all of that.

Oh, yeah, that was so special. And I think the important part of that, too, is it's like you have to. If you're putting on an event, you have to timeline it. In the event world, we call it a run, a show. Right. Where it's like we're figuring out when the what time the door is open, what's music is playing, the graphics, the vibe, you know, like every single thing you need to think through ahead of time if you're organizing the event. Right. But also, I think it's just so important that you're documenting events. Right. So maybe you don't have, like, a budget to. Or you're on a girls trip, right. And you're not bringing a professional photographer with you and a videographer. But, like, everyone should be capturing photos, putting them in a central place, and hopefully you've got, like, that one person that can, like, put it together into, like, a little reflection video. Right. Or a little reel. I think it's so important to be able to go back and relive these memories. Yeah.

I think a lot of people start. If they're not your brain, they start events with, I went to a different event. I saw this. This is what I liked. I didn't. Don't like. They start with, like, let me copy that and a budget. But I have a feeling that you start more with what's the outcome that you want? Or what's the feeling? Can you kind of walk us through the. The way your brain questions and like, you're Just starting with a client. It's a first time event. Like what are some of the questions that you lead with? Because I think that'll help us understand how we should be thinking about events.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean I always will ask what is the end outcome? Because we're going to start at the end and we're going to reverse engineer our way into that. So a lot of times someone will be like, well, because I'm going to sell a high end coaching or a mastermind program, but I also want to get content and I want to do this for my community and I want to do this. And that's when I'm like, okay, stop. We can get all that other stuff, but what's the number one goal here? Okay, because that's how I'm gonna reverse engineer and put your event together. So I'll just speak again in terms of Chalene Johnson, right. An event that we all know can't be more. When she first reached out it, she. Well, because an event like this doesn't exist. I want to get girls together and this and that and. And it was not that she needed to make money. That's important, right? If it's an event where you're like, I need to. She was like, yeah, I want to break even, you know, like, I don't want to lose money on the event. But if we get crystal clear on what your goals are, that's how we're going to reverse engineer it into it. A lot of times it is because you have to make money. You're like, I need to sell my high end coaching programs. So we're going to start with that. Okay, great. Then we're going to figure out what type of venue you're going to be in. What are the ticket prices we're going to charge? Are there going to be meals included? Swag, what type of AV setup? And the most expensive thing when you're putting on events is going to be the food and beverage and the audio visual.

Right.

So it's sometimes thinking outside of the box. If you're doing an event for the first time, it doesn't have to be in a hotel just because that other, you know. Yeah, influencer did it in a hotel. Why not do it in a theater? Why not do it in a library? Why not do it at a restaurant? There's other ways to kind of think through it once you know what your end outcome is though.

So I know that your thing is way bigger events for the most part or really strategic travel things. But if you were to if you were starting again and knowing what you know and you were hosting smaller things. So I'm going to like maybe it's a small wedding or it's a shower or it's a birthday. What would be some of the kind of questions you would ask? You'd want women listening to be asking themselves before they're even curating these?

Yeah. Again, what's the end outcome if it's a shower, I'm going to put on a baby shower for my daughter in law. Okay, when, right When. And that's really important to think about the when. And looking at a calendar and making sure it's not interfering with holidays. A lot of people, they skip that. Or you'll reach out to a hotel and say, yeah, I want to have an event in March or April and the hotel will just say great, this date. And you're not, you don't look at a calendar and it's Easter, right. It's like people don't like look at the dates, like look at the weather, like where are you going to put this on? And weather is a big, huge factor. A lot of times when I'm planning events, right. I'm like, okay, my client wants to do an event in Austin, Texas in July. That's pretty hot, right? Like that's not going to be the best time of the year. So it's looking at the date, looking at the location and the weather and then you know, like how the logistics of it. It's like I immediately start asking people a million questions when they hire me. How many people, what's the vibe, what's the theme, what's your favorite colors? Right. It's like we're just, we're starting to ask people these types of questions and then putting it together. And then from that, after we figure out kind of like what's the time of year they want to have it, where does the weather align it? And we get the vibe. Then we start reaching out, right to venues. We're looking for that perfect restaurant, we're looking for that perfect park, someone's home, you know, to host that event.

When you do travel, I want to talk about travel for a minute. First of all, Jesse's living like the epic life because she somehow figured out how to work with some companies that do these high end travel experiences. And of course she gets to go check out the spots first and figure out and curate this. You've probably learned a ton about what to look for with travel excursions. What advice do you have for us aside from. And I'm going to tell them how they could even go on one of your travel excursions, how they can be part of one of those groups, but if they're just doing it on their own, they're planning with a few girlfriends or a few couples or whatever it is. What are some things that we need to know that you're like, do not do these things or this is what you really have to think through?

Yeah, okay. I mean one, anytime you're looking on someone's website, it's gonna look beautiful. Okay. What's important to do is you have to see it on video or talk to someone that's been there.

Okay.

Like I always, when I'm doing my high end travel events for clients, I go do site visits ahead of time. What's interesting is when you're looking on a website or even just a video, you cannot tell the location. Is it safe? You can't smell it, right? Like, is it gross? Is it like. So it's like, I really think it's important that it's like, let's say you're like, okay, I'm going on a girls trip and we're going to go to Riviera, Maya, Mexico, right? Don't just look on a website. It's going to look beautiful. Trust me. It's a marketing thing. It's a marketing tool, right? Don't just go on their Instagram, it's going to look beautiful. You got to like dig and dig and look for videos or talk to people that have been there. There are so many times I've gone on a site visit and I'll go in being like, this is it, this is the property, I know it, I can't wait. And then I get there and I'm like, oh, what you didn't see is it's like in a really dangerous part of town or the service is terrible, right? Like, oh, it's crazy. Or to get up to the meeting room, you're, you know, you have to take a golf cart or you're walking. It's like this crazy walk with crazy bugs or I don't know, I mean, it's like it's really important to, to see it on video and ask like really see if someone's gone before.

That's a good point because you're right. We just all look at that or the, the commercial for it basically. But so if you can't go on site visit, you say look for video and then I guess reviews and try to talk to somebody. Is that.

Yeah, totally. And like Let me ask you, how many times have you gone on a trip, right, like where you're like, you think it's going to be amazing. You show up and you're like, that's not what it. Yeah, what I thought it was going to be like.

Well, they're curated by you. I've not had that experience. And if they are, if my husband, because he's like a digger and a researcher, haven't had that experience. But I know what you're talking about. Like when a girl puts something together and they send you the pictures, that happens with Airbnbs all the time. I'll tell you that. Like, all the time.

Oh, totally.

That happens.

Totally. Yeah. And you know the reason I've been doing these high end travel, like to bucket list places. It was, it, it's, it became because of COVID to be honest with you. It's like Covet just changed the way people like to consume information, right? So it was like after being kind of stuck in your home for all those years, people are like, I still want information, right? But I want it to be. I want to consume information, but I want to be in a cool location. I want to have experiences, right? I want to have connection. So I think people are just really craving this connection and these cool experiences together. So it's like, don't just put on. If you're going to put on an event, don't just put on a boring event. Those don't work anymore. You got to make it an experience.

What's your advice? Like, you're going to a cool bucket list place and it's. You hear about all the touristy things. How do you figure out, like, which ones of those things are legit or not? Like, for example, I know when we were in Bali, I was like, I have to do the big red dress on the swing thing. And Jesse's like, well, you can. But she tells me it's like completely crowded and touristy and it's hot and sticky and it's like she gave me the whole thing. She's like, so you're going to do all this for like a literally a quick Instagram photo for what are you going to do with it? She had me thinking very different about it. Where I went in thinking I have to go spend a day doing that. How do you decipher through a lot of that?

Yeah, I mean, a lot of it is going on the site visits. Because I always, when I go into a trip, I always think the stuff that I see on Instagram is going to be the ones that I'm going to work into the excursion. What the reality is is those are places are always the tourist traps, right? So for instance, in Bali we went and did this malakot. It's this water blessing. When I went into the site visits, I did four of those. Okay. The one that I saw online that I'm like, I'm going to fall in love with. Oh my gosh, it looks amazing. I see it all over Instagram. They're wearing these, these beautiful green sarongs with these red sashes. When I showed up, the reality is there were hundreds and hundreds of people waiting in line to get into this water, this pool. It did not feel authentic, it didn't feel real. So it's again, it's like doing your research. If you're not going to go on like a trip that an event planners put together, it's really looking at it and knowing that those things that keep popping up on social media probably are going to be a tourist trap. That swing, like I said, I thought for sure I was gonna love to do the swing. When I showed up there, it was expensive. Okay? Nothing in Bali is expensive except doing the swing. I couldn't believe it. I was like, everything is so affordable except the swing. And you wait in these long lines, they drape you in this fabric that they don't clean. You know, it's like how many women have put this thing on, right? Like they're tying on you. The reality of those things a lot of times is a lot different. So it's like just really trying to do your research and trying to find those real behind the scenes videos from people. They're out there, you know they are.

You're so good with the questions. I know because like, Jesse to me was like, let me ask you, let's just say you do all that. What are you doing with this picture? And I was like, yeah, I don't know, what am I doing with this picture? She's like, so. Yeah, yeah. She's like, so. So you have good questions around, around that. You're also really good at figuring out these like local one off things that we haven't seen on Instagram and we haven't heard about. How do you figure those things out? Like, how have you. How were you able to figure that out in Italy and in Bali? Like, how do you. Who are you asking?

The locals, right? It's like the trying to look ahead of time. You're going to be sold all the touristy stuff, right? Or you're not going to know about the things. It's, it's asking the locals. The locals know best. So when anytime I'm on a site visit or I'm planning a trip and I'm on a call or emailing, I feel so bad because I'm just hammering them with questions, right? But the questions are like, where do you go to eat? Where would you go to do this water blessing? Right? And a lot of times the ones that are a little off the beaten path are the best, the best experiences. So yeah, asking locals, asking people that

have gone before you do something also very unique that I have not seen other event planners truly do. So typically when you go to an event, I'm not talking about ones that you've curated. You, you know, you check in and you get your little box of goodies or your bag of stuff and it tends to be like either promotional stuff or like free swag that a company gave them. But your stuff that you always curate is stuff we can actually use for events. Like, you're very thought oriented and these aren't expensive things necessarily, but really thoughtful. Can you kind of talk to us about where that came from and how you even figure out what to put in these?

Yeah. Again, a lot of this comes from when I'm like on a site visit and I'm like, oh, I needed a towel at this point. Oh, oh, I needed bug spray. When I was doing this experience, I was so hot. I wanted a hat, right? When I went on this hike, I wanted a water bottle, but I wanted to have my hands free so that I could take pictures. So I wanted to have a fanny pack that would hold a water bottle. Like it's a lot of for me going on experiences and I'm taking really detailed notes, right? And I hate, I hate spending money on crap that no one's gonna use. It's like make it intentional, make it have purpose, right? Even if it's like your more standard three day event in like a hotel ballroom. Don't just give them stuff they don't need. Give them stuff like what do they need? Do they need to take notes? And then give them a journal and a pen, right? Is someone going to go on stage that owns a fudge company? Okay, cool. Let's give, buy everyone a little piece of fudge to support the woman that's on stage. Are we going to learn from this best selling author? Let's give them one of the books, right? Like let's, let's give them stuff that they're going to need. Not just these tchotchke stuff that everyone takes and throws away.

I think that's so genius, and I hope everybody hears this, because I can't tell you how many events I've gotten just like swag with a company logo or, you know, or like somebody just is throwing in their sponsored stuff or whatever it is, and there's no use for it. It doesn't make any sense. So to give an example, when we were in Italy, Jesse had given us these little. We were gonna go on Vespas. She gave us these little bags to carry instead of a fanny pack. It was like a little mini backpack thing that you could wear on the Vespa. So that was perfect because everyone's like, where am I gonna put my stuff? Or I know when we were in Bali and a lot of things were getting wet, she gave us plastic cell phone holders so we could still take pictures, but put that in there. And then there's many times where she has random little bags and you're like, why are these little bags? Well, you need them because your clothes are going to be wet or you're going to want to change. So really, things that you would think and use, and then I've kept pretty much everything I've gotten on those things because they're all super practical and useful. So there was. There's nothing. That's just like a swag. You know, we just ordered this because it says our logo type of thing. It's all very practical.

Totally. I think that's so important, too. And it's like. And really thinking practical like that. That's cute. You said that about the Vespas. So the Vespas, I was like, oh, I needed to carry something. But you don't want a fanny pack because you're, remember, sitting, hugging somebody, rattling the Italian Vespa drivers. So I'm like, you need something that you put on your back, right?

Yeah.

But it needs to be small. So it's like just really thinking through all the details. I think is. Is really important.

Super smart. When you look at events gone wrong, and like, I can say most events, you're sitting in a dark room, you're cold, you're. It's speaker after speaker. What are some simple things that maybe people that are listening that are either going to those events or they're putting them on, what could be done that are maybe little easy tweaks to. To shake that up?

Yeah. I mean, one, you always want to look at your schedule and never have anything that goes for more than two hours. You're going to lose people's interest, people have to get up and they have to use the restroom, right? So it's like whenever you're thinking of that, you have to think of, let's say it's a standard event where the doors open at 8:45. Your event starts at 9:00'. Clock. You gotta not go longer than two hours. So by 11:00am you better be giving them a break. And it has to be at least 15 minutes. Okay? Then you're gonna go, so we're on a break from 11 to 11:15. Then you're gonna go another two hours. Give them a lunch break. Lunch breaks again, give them at least 90 minutes, right? So they can have a proper lunch break. So it's like you need to give them that. But also it's like, how can we give them variety? So you're like, gosh, you're in those dark things, speaker after speaker. Well, you gotta look at it and figure out how are we gonna give variety and change up their energy. A dance break. Maybe I'm throwing on a funny little commercial, right? Like, or a little skit. Maybe it's a commercial from one of your sponsors, right? So it's their pattern interrupts, right? I call them brain breaks. So it's like between every segment, you need to, a lot of times switch out the set, right? I gotta put a new, fresh water on stage for the speaker. And she wanted. The speaker wants a whiteboard. Okay, well, you, you need a little minute or two buffers. Brain breaks in between every single speaker. So be intentional with those. What are we doing? We're gonna do a dance break for two minutes. I'm gonna show a sponsor commercial. At this point, I'm gonna hand out a piece of fudge to everyone in the room, right? So it's like, be really intentional with those little brain breaks because you need the time anyways to switch out the stage. So, yeah, make it have variety. I think variety is really important.

How do you balance the person putting on the event, their energy, their team, like helping manage them and then helping manage the guests, the people that are participating in it. Because you actually are master at both. How do you have like a process around that? How do you think through that?

Yeah, everything, like I said, is. Is really detailed out ahead of time, and I think that's important. And you put on a run a show by like, like really detailed by like the minute. And then you share it with your team. If you're lucky enough to, you know, like have a team or maybe your spouse is helping you or your kids helping you with this event. The important part is that you get it all out on paper. And I also do that visual deck. I said the rule of three, right. So anytime I'm like putting on an event people can see and they can read it and run a show, they're gonna hear it because I'm gonna take them through a little training at one week before the event. And they're gonna see it because I'm taking them and clicking them through a visual deck where they can see it. I think that's really important that you're not just like keeping all the information to yourself, that you're like sharing it with people. Because if something were to happen and it's like, my ego is never too big where I'm like, I want everyone to have everything. I'm like, I don't care if they, if they take my run a show and use it for something else and they don't hire me. It's like, I think it's important. Everyone has my roadmap. So that's important is getting it all, like really detailed and on paper, but then sharing it with your team or sharing it with one other person. So you're the master keeper of information. That's how I really manage it. Right. And then when I'm on site for events, it's being really clear on ownership with that team or that best friend that's helping. Right. It's okay. You're in charge of food and beverage. Okay. Of course. Come to me. Here's my plan if you have any questions, but I need you to go advance all those meals and make sure it's set up and that the food's all clearly labeled. Right. You're in charge of the speakers and getting backstage. So I really am very good at delegating once we're on site.

Speaking of which, I always think people are making a huge mistake if they are doing an event. Like an actual event. Not, not just a small, like, you know, small, little, tiny get together, but an actual event, whether it's a mastermind or. And they don't hire somebody to help with the outside event coordinating. They just, they're trying to like multitask. Like maybe the host is trying to manage the event. I feel like that's such a huge mistake and that guests can feel that.

Yeah. And a lot of times, I mean, actually a lot of my clients that have come to me is because they tried to do their event alone and they got burned by the hotel. You know, it's like these hotels and venues, they're in the business of making money and they are going to give you like a 25 page contract and people don't know how to read. You know, you're like, what's attrition? What where people get really burned is they don't understand. Okay. They're gonna say, all right, for you to do this event at this hotel, you have a twenty five thousand dollar food and beverage minimum and you have to pay five thousand dollars meeting room rental and you need have a hotel block of 100 rooms per night. People are like, okay. They don't understand that. Well, if you don't fill that, you pay it anyways. Right. And a lot of people have come to me getting really burned because they don't understand that hotels put a plus plus plus on everything they do. A tax, a service and an admin charge. So what was a $25,000 food and beverage minimum? I've had so many people are like, I didn't know, I didn't get it. Like, I ended up spending 70,000 in food and beverage because I didn't understand all the plus plus, pluses. Yeah.

Wow. So somebody that's good is going to know like, you know how to read through that and figure out and save people on that.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Talk to us about just midlife experiences in general because a lot of people, they would like to have more experiences. Maybe they have not. They don't have that or they don't feel that they have people in their life. Talk to us about some of the things that you ways that you've been able to help people come together in groups or help them have those experiences and feel safe and have fun.

Yeah, I mean, I think that's just said it's, you know, I think there's a lot of fear around experiences and maybe traveling alone, going out for a meal alone. And so I would say one is go with group then, right? Go with your besties, your girlfriends, your family. Find a group like your best life where you're traveling within a group. I mean, I remember that having that conversation with you in Italy when we were hiking the path of the gods and you were like, I just feel like the word fear kept coming up for you. Like, right?

Yeah. Like I want to go see all these places, but I don't want to go alone or I've heard things or whatever it was.

Yeah. So again, it's like traveling with the group. I know that can seem like so weird. Right? Right. If they're not your friends, if you're Gonna join, like, another group and do group travel. But the beauty in that is it's like someone's gone before you, right? So, like, for Bali, I did all that stuff. I knew it was safe. I tried all those meals. Even though you got sick. I know, but it's like I tried every single thing we were eating. I drank everything.

Well, to be clear, you know where I. Because me and Jen both got sick. Jen was another girl on the trip with us. The reason we got sick. It was the one meal we had outside of the group. You all were doing the. I think you were doing the ATVs or you were doing something. And we were at that. We had ordered a separate food that day, and we had. I remember our fish. We took a picture of it because it was literally like 24 hours later that we were super sick, her and I both. So it was not group food. It wasn't.

I'm. I'm so sorry you got sick, but that makes me so happy because I'm.

No, it wasn't yours.

Like, everything I try every single thing.

It wasn't sick from you. We. We figured that out later because we both literally got. I actually learned I had scramboid poisoning later and I could trace. So that. I don't know if I told you all this, but my. The ER doctor here in Arizona happened to be from Bali, and he said, did you eat seafood? And I was like, yeah. He's like. He talked to me about the fish and he said, scramble poisoning is really thing. And I. And I had. It had a picture on my camera roll and on my stories from the meal me and Jen had. So I timed it back. I'm like, that had to have been what happened because her and I both were sick, so. So. So it wasn't your fault. No.

Okay. Well, yeah. I mean, thank you for sharing that with me. That makes me feel a lot better because I felt so terrible how sick you got. But, yeah, it's like. And then also again, it's like, if you're not going to go on a group travel thing, ask people, right? Like, are you going to. You want to go on a trip to Dubai? Find someone, a friend of yours that's gone to Dubai before. Reach out to me, right? Like, let me. Let me help. Like, because it's like there's. There's certain things that we can advise you on, right? I'm not gonna. I. I never get commissions from any of the hotels or the excursions, by the way. I don't have. My business is not Structured that way, I'm sure I could make a killing if I wanted to be, like, a travel influencer and take commissions, but I could, but I'm like, that's just not you. For me, that's out of alignment for creating experiences. I want the best experience. I don't care if I'm gonna, you know, like, I don't. I don't need to get a commission on. I want people to have experiences.

So Jesse literally looks like she's 20 and she has energy. Like, she's 20. And I think a lot of this has to do with all of the experiences and the travel and. And the fun. So can you help give, Like, I would love some, like, advice for just midlife women, because I would say the majority are not feeling that way. They're feeling restricted. They're feeling like time is speeding up. They're feeling like there's just not a lot of memories or. I know there's a small niche group that definitely doesn't feel that way, but I think more often than not, I hear from women that is feeling like time's compressing. They don't feel as many experiences. Can you help give kind of your friends, your friend advice with what you've learned and what you know to them?

Yeah. Okay, so you have time. Okay, you have time. And I think it's how you choose to structure your time. So if you are going to your family cabin for an experience, think of it in terms of how can you make every day an experience. I think it's important that everyone structures their day with a little bit of movement. Okay, so you're walking, you're hiking, you're doing yoga. You're something swimming at that cabin. It's like, figure out that that's an experience. I think it's important you learn something new every day. So travel. That's one of the best. I'm learning so much through Trav about culture and just everything. Right. But I think it's like you're figuring out a way to learn something. You're listening to podcasts, you're listening to speaker every day. Like, I think this is the secret to life, okay? This is how I structure all of my events. Movement. Learning something every day, an excursion that's going to be fun. Like, you need to have fun, right? You need to stretch yourself doing something that's uncomfortable or you haven't done before. ATVing, doing a crazy, epic hike. Right? Like, some of this stuff, like that is a secret to life, is conquering your fears and doing these epic experiences. And then connection. Okay. So it's like, you need that. We all need that in midlife, right? So that's where we're breaking bread with people. We're having meals, we're communicating. So it's like, you do have time, right? So I think if you can figure out, like, with your. When you're with your family, you're with your. Your girlfriends, or you're by yourself on that trip, it's like, if you can put movement into it, learning something, some type of experience excursion that you haven't done before, and then the community aspect, I think you. That's the secret to long life, for sure.

I love that formula. I really think, and I might not be verbalizing it completely right today, but I really do feel this strongly that the reason we feel time slows down is because we do mundane, repeatable, the same things every day. So, like, if you're literally just getting up and doing the same routine every day, it does feel like time is speeding up. The reason I feel we have such strong memories as a kid is we didn't have all those distractions. And you're super present in life. So what I find with the types of events you're talking about or travel is it forces you to have new experiences and to be present. And that's why time seems to expand when you're doing that. Is that even making sense, what I'm saying?

A hundred percent, yes. Where?

Like, I think of Bali or even the Italy trip. Any of them, it feels like they were extra long, even though it might have been seven days or whatever it is. It's like it feels expansive because you're. It's not just doing so much. It's not a thing of doing, like, filling the schedule. It's the experiencing so many different things.

Absolutely. And it's getting these little. You know, by doing new things, you're getting these little adrenaline rushes, right. This, like, little dopamine hit. And for me, I never stop long enough to overthink anything, to get scared, to try anything. Okay. Like, a lot of times when I'm traveling and doing the site visits, I'm alone. Yeah. I'm hanging off buildings that are 120 stories high by myself. But it's like, I. I've had friends say that to me, like, don't you get scared you're traveling? Like, you know, I went to Rwanda alone. I went to Dubai alone. I do go all these places alone first. And I'm like, I don't know if this is a blessing or a curse, but I don't ever stop to overthink anything because when I do, it would stop me from doing really cool stuff.

I feel like that's, that's a very strong connection to like you're very. When you, it's what we focus on expands, you know. So like, I would imagine you're always focusing that like how do you even talk to us? Like when you're not traveling and you're not working on event, like how is your day structured and how do you even come up with the ideas that you're coming up with? Like, I know, like with your best life, for example, you're the one pretty much picking where we're going next or what the next trip is. How do you figure this out in your days? Like, what's your day look like?

Well, I mean I have a, a 15 year old and a 17 year old. So, you know, it's just, I mean they can drive. He can drive himself to school and drives his sister, but it's mom in the morning when I'm home. I like love slow mornings. I'm not going to lie. Like, I wish I could say I get up and I like work out and I put on an outfit. The longer I can be in my PJs drinking coffee and like working. Yeah. It's like I love it when I'm home. I'm like, no. But I get really inspired by what people want. Right. So it's like it doesn't have to be my idea. Like when we're coming up with the next trips, it's where do you want to go? We're surveying our clients. When we're putting together Chalene Johnson's event, it's who do you want to hear speak? Right. Yeah. I'm going to give some suggestions, but I get really like excited when someone has an idea and it comes to life and I help them come, you know, help them bring it to life.

How do you work on staying in your positive bubble and your vision? Like you said, I, you don't get scared doing these, these things. I think a lot of people get very scared with world events. I mean, per, like we see it all the time. Like somebody, you, they stop themselves from fantasizing about a place they want to go because of something I heard on the news or how you said you don't really focus on that. But how do you avoid focusing on that? What do you have any little tricks for that or how do you, how do you stay committed to the possibility?

Yeah, I mean I, I'm a logistics Lover. Okay? So, like, I'm always gonna research, and I'm. I'm not. Not gonna put myself in a place that. That's unsafe. Right? So it's like, one. I'm not gonna go do a site visit, but I know how to dig and find the truth about stuff. Rwanda, for example. Right. People are like, oh, my. They just remember what happened. The genocide back in the 80s. Right. I can't believe you're gonna go to Rwanda. It's so unsafe. Actually, if you educated yourself, it is the fourth safest place in the world.

Okay, okay.

In the world.

Wild.

It is. You know, so it's like, let's not just remember one thing that happened maybe in a certain place, like, and let that scare you for the rest of the life. Like, read. Rwanda is way more safe than where we live in the United States. It is.

It is.

So it's like, one. I'm just gonna make sure I'm really educated and not just, you know, go let anything scare me.

Jesse, what advice would you have? Help. Help us, like, kind of wrap this in a bow for midlife women. Because, again, I want. I want women to experience more than just the daily. More than just managing hormones. I want them to really be able to expand time rather than feeling like it's slowing down. That's, like, a big mission of mine right now. Like, I've personally, in my life, I'm like, how do I make time slow down? By expanding my days, expanding my experiences, expanding that. Help us with some, like, advice.

What do you.

What if you're like, to wrap it up in a bow? What do you want women to start doing, like, right now?

Yeah. Okay. I love. Like, I live in San Diego, and I am like, follow, like, all these different San Diego forums on social media.

Okay.

So, like, I love knowing when the new restaurants are opening, when they have a goat yoga that started down the street, when there's a new, you know, craft art studio that open, like a concert coming to town, like, that excites me, knowing what's happening.

That's, like, great. If I would have never thought to do that. So you could do that in any city you live in. That's totally. That's, like, so simple.

Yeah. Like, figure out what's happening in your city. And, like, I love that. I love being a tourist in my own city.

How do you find those? Is that just, like, a Facebook thing or how do you even find those for us?

Yeah, like, go on. I'm on Instagram, and it's like, once you start following Some of them, it's like they all start popping.

Rattle that off. Like, it was so simple and common sense, but I don't think anyone really thinks about that. So that's actually really great advice to find for, like, I. That makes me want to do that here in Scottsdale. Like, I want to know what's, what's happening here.

Yeah. And then, like, I love that, right? Like, I get so excited and talk about expanding time. Like, if you're excited for something that's on your calendar. Right. It does expand time. So new restaurants that open in San Diego, like, I get, it'll. They'll keep popping up, right. On social media. I'll hear about them. I'll make a reservation. I put it on my calendar. So I have something I'm looking forward to. So I would just say figure out those experiences that are close by and go try something new, because that is the secret to life, right? Go try that new restaurant. Go try that new workout. Go try that new art project, concert comes to town. Get out there and do things.

Things so good, so good. Okay, so Jesse, you're. This is super helpful. And I was. I'm so glad you came on to do this because I had so many questions about your brain. I don't know if any of you also follow my friend Chalene Johnson, but Chalene mentions on our podcast all the time. I don't know if you've heard this, Jesse. She mentions your name and says you have to study her brain, that science has to study her brain. So I thought I'm gonna come bring her on so I can study her brain a little bit. But what I will say just from what I know about you is, is you are very vision focused. You always have been. You're also one thing that Jesse is really good at that I think we all can learn from is you're very focused on how others are going to feel. So that's a strong one because I think a lot of people are really thinking about how they're gonna feel. Like, it's like, how am I gonna feel? And the reason your stuff works so well is you really think, who's gonna be here and how do I want them to feel? And it's not a people pleasing thing. It's really kind of. It boils down to those love languages and what you're mentioning and like, how do I make sure everybody feels something here? Like, it's not even like we're going to do this one event and everyone's going to love it. It's just that how will people feel? Will they feel what's. What do I want them to feel from that expansion or you come up with that. So I would say if I'm studying your brain, that's a big thing that makes you tick and that makes what you do so successful as you really think about others and how they're going to feel and the intention there.

Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you for that. It's so important to me is. Yeah. How do people feel at the end of the day and the experience that they're going to remember forever. Right. I don't want it just to be a. I am. I don't like, like, boring, bland stuff. Right. Like, make it memorable. Why not?

If people want to learn more, I'm gonna kind of all the things that you said.

I'll. I'll.

Jesse's gonna send us a link of how we can figure out the low love language. But also I'll link up to Chalene's event. If you want to hear more about that. I'll link up to your best life so you can learn more about that travel group. And then if you want to follow Jesse. Jesse, I know you're not like huge social media or anything, but where is like your most present place? Because sometimes you show behind the scenes of where you're going and things like that. Where do you want them to go?

Probably my Instagram. I mean, it's gonna be a hot mess of like, you know, like being a mom and San Diego life. But yeah, when I go on site visits, I am documenting in real time. People seem to really like that. And same when I'm on site for trips.

She's secretive. I'll be like, where are you? She's like, can't tell. So show things, but not necessarily say where she is all the time. So that's kind of fun. How can. If people wanted to hire you for an event, can they hire you? How do they go about that?

Absolutely. So you could go to my website. It's eventjessie.com and it has my information. My email's on there or follow me on Instagram and you can reach out that way as well. We'll just get a call together and see what your vision is and. And go from there.

One thing I didn't ask you that I want to ask you ask. I just thought of it. You also curate speakers and people that come. How do you like, can you. And this is probably a big question, but what makes like, in your opinion, what makes a great speaker and what makes the flops oh, okay.

Yeah, let's go there. Okay. Great. Speakers are the ones that don't have egos.

Okay.

Like, they're there just to, like, serve and to give and to help. They're not going to be focused on, like, what is my speaker fee going to be, or am I going to sell them something? Like, they just really want to share their message. So that. And when I say that, it's, like, what I'm seeing a lot, that drives me crazy. And I think it's because of, like, the. All the influencers now is they'll get booked to speak on stage, and then they have this, like, crazy entourage with them. You know, I get it. Like, you want to capture the on stage and the behind stage, but it's, like, from an event.

It's annoying. I know.

Exactly. So annoying. When these people are coming in with their photographer, their videographer, their makeup artist,

it's ego because you're capturing that already. I. I don't like that either. I can't stand.

Oh, my gosh. It drives me crazy. But, like, listen, the ones that are good get invited back. Right? Like. Like, I've worked with you multiple times. Like, there's. There's some, like, the Chalene Johnson, Bo Eason. Some of my clients I've had forever, and I recommend them.

Yeah.

Because they're good. They're gonna give it all, and they're not gonna be those. Like, a big part of my thing, too, is, like, if you come and speak at a your best life event, I'm like, no, no, you're not just speaking. You're coming to play, too. You're coming on excursions with us.

That's how I met Jesse. Well, I met you a number of ways, but that's how I really got to know you. The first thing I ever did with Jesse was she invited me to come speak at your best Life. And what stood out to me was exactly that. It's not. You're just flying in and speaking and going. It's like you're hanging out. That's part of the advantage, is that the group gets to know the speakers. That's another cool thing about your best life, I will say. And this is not a commercial for your best life. But I really do believe in what they do. The guests get to really spend time with the speakers. Speakers. So you're with them for the week. It's. It's. You're having lunch with them, you're hanging out with them. They're doing the excursions with you, which is really. I Think that's super cool. So I think if a speaker says no to that right away, it's kind of a red flag. You're like, well, that's not.

Oh, it is. I. Yeah. I mean, there's so many people that I have reached out to speak on different stages, and if they're gonna have that. Nope, I'm gonna come in back a house. I'm not gonna go out and say hi to the audience. Like, I, I don't want you. I don't like that ego. I don't like that attitude. And it's like, if I have a say, you're not going to be on a stage I'm producing.

What do you wish I asked you that? I didn't.

Oh, gosh, that's a. That's a great question. Well, I actually am just curious, like, women that are maybe like, afraid of. To plan an event or that luncheon with their girlfriends, like, what would be the reason why? Like, is it.

I think that people are. And this I'm answering generally for my audience here, but I think that this is why it was so important for me to do this topic. I think people get in their comfort zone and then they are. There's a scare of getting out of it and probably because of what we see on social media. So we think they think unless it's perfect and curated like that. Why I don't want to do that. I don't want to be embarrassed by it. And part of what I wanted to bring you on for today was to show women it could be little things. It's like these little things that make the memorable big difference.

Totally. And here's the thing. There's so many cool places out there that you don't have to curate. Right. Put some time into finding that cute little restaurant that already has the perfect. You know what I mean? That already has the perfect tablescape. Like, there's so many events that I plan because I don't have to do anything extra. I'm like, they've already nailed every touch point. You know, like, the service is great. So it's like, don't let that. It doesn't have to be perfect. What needs to be. It's just getting the group together is what experience.

One thing I'm going to add to that is we. So we have mutual friends. I actually want in particular. I won't say her name, but she'll know who she is if she's listening. We have one particular friend that's like, I would not go on a group of. I couldn't do that. I like to vacation by myself and I think people miss out by not doing that. I will like I think that connection piece and going and having these deeper conversations with people that you don't know yet is actually part of that slowing down time and expanding. That's my opinion. I enjoy it and I'm not extroverted, but I enjoy that.

Yeah, no, I agree with you.

It's absolutely kind of fun. Well, thank you so much, Jesse. I'll link everything up in the show notes so you all can check out some of. If you want to check out Chalene's event, I'm speaking at it so you can. You can check that out. Your best life. Highly recommended. It's such a fun group. I've been on multiple of their trips. It's fun fact about them is a lot of their speakers come back as guests. I have many times so I spoke one and then I like I pay to go back and do them again because they're really well done. And I'll link up where to find Jesse and how to find your love language. Thank you so much, Jesse.

Thank you so much. Appreciate you. See you soon.