Thrive on the Other Side of Breast Cancer with Tirzah Cooper

Started. So today on Midlife Conversations, I've got Terza, who I had been following on social media for quite some time with her breast cancer journey and just really watching everything through her diagnosis, through what she's been navigating, how she's come out on the other side, what she still has ahead of her being thrown into really induced menopause from all this and the things that go with it and just her attitude and how she's through, thrived through it. I've been really wanting to know her story and I thought, let me bring her on the show while I'm asking the questions. Many of you can learn too, and I believe this will apply whether you're navigating your own personal journey with cancer or just a setback in general, like any major setback, like any diagnosis, any life curve ball that's, that's been thrown your way. I believe you'll be able to take some things away from this. I know I have from her, from her post, from. But I. What I've been watching. So when I reached out to her, she said, oh my gosh, I've been following you, which is amazing. So she knew me a little better than I knew her, but I want to dive in. So thank you so much for being here today, Teresa.

Yeah, thank you, Natalie, for having me. And like you said, I've been following you for years. So I'm just honored to, to be able to meet you and talk to you.

So let's start from the beginning, because if, you know, I look back through your social media and you were happy, thriving, married parents, having fun with friends. You were, it looked like you were a model, like you were a lot of things happening in your life. Like, who were you? What was going on when you were diagnosed? Take us back.

Yeah, so I, I do have two kids. I started a little bit early, so I had my first daughter when I was 19, and then I had my son when I was 25. But I was just recently diagnosed this year in June of 2022. I was just 36 years old, like you said, living my best life. Overall, I did have, like, a pretty healthy lifestyle. I went to the gym, I ate pretty clean. So it really did take me by surprise.

You weren't, you weren't overweight. You actually looked the epitome of health, actually glowing, beautiful fit. So it's like, it's interesting right there because sometimes people go, want to lump people into, well, you were overweight or, well, you weren't taking care of yourself.

Exactly.

That's super interesting.

Yeah, yeah, I don't smoke. I don't have any, you know, overall health concerns. I was just a 36 year old doing everything I thought was right. So it is ironic because I was working for a plastic surgeon at the time and she's a reconstructive plastic surgeon who specializes with breast cancer patients. So I was really, really well informed on breast cancer, the reconstruction part especially. And my boss was a breast cancer survivor herself. So the topic, I mean, I dealt with it every day at work. I knew what to look for. And I did have a few benign lumps in my breasts that I was monitoring for a couple of years. They always did an ultrasound, mammogram. They said it was nothing to worry about, just to kind of keep an eye on them every six months. So I did have this one in particular lump. I noticed it came last August.

And did you find it yourself, by the way?

I did, yeah. So it was kind of in the cleavage area of my upper right breast. And because I am, I'm, I'm a thin girl and I do have breast implants. So it was kind of sitting on top of the implant close to my skin, so I could actually visibly see it. Not.

Which, by the way, interrupts another thought pattern that people think. Like, they think, oh, if you have breast implants, it's because you didn't have tissue and you're not susceptible to breast cancer. So once again, another thing that's just not true because, I mean, you have me aware because I have implants and I would have thought that before, like, oh, I don't really have tissue. How would I get that? So.

Right.

Yeah.

And I mean, if you took my implants out, I'd be flat as a board. Every, every woman has breast tissue. So I had very, very thin breast tissue. So finding the lumps for me was actually a little bit easier than maybe for most people who do have quite a bit more breast tissue. But anyway, the lump just appears kind of overnight. And I did what I normally do, I had an ultrasound and then they sent me for a mammogram. It showed up as just another benign tumor. And then the plan was to get it checked in six months. So. So I did have it rechecked again in six months, which was February of this year. And it was the same thing. They said nothing to worry about.

Why did they not remove it, Terza, by the way, when it, like, could they, could they just remove something like that? And would that have made any difference?

I mean, I, I had a biopsy done on another lump on, on the other side a few years ago, it was again, benign. And even a biopsy, like when you're doing a punch needle biopsy, it is invasive and you bleed and you're sore. So to excise it and cut it out, it's downtime, it's surgery. You're going to be left with a scar. Basically, if they're saying, you know, it's benign, it's nothing to worry about. There's no breast cancer in my family. You're 36 years old, let's just leave it because sometimes those fibroids will just go away.

Got it.

So for me, I thought, okay, it is like kind of right on the outside of my breast. I didn't really want another scar, scar, any type of excision. So we just did the routine checkups. So in February, they said everything looked fine again. And then it was when I was in Miami just recently in May, it was really noticeably bigger. And because I was in a bikini, I think I was kind of noticing it a little bit more because it was showing up in photos and it was just becoming larger by the minute.

So I intuitively think there was something wrong during that or like that you were ignoring I want and I'm asking this. No right or wrong answer. I'm just curious people listening that might put that off. Like, were you thinking, wait, there's something wrong and I don't know that I'm aligned with them saying it's benign or were you really feeling like I don't have anything to worry about here?

I, I worried, I think only because of where I work and I do see this kind of thing happen. So anytime something rapidly grows or is hurting, it's definitely worth, you know, kind of getting it checked. And their recommendation was, you're good for another six months. Well, this was only three months later. So I advocated for myself to go back early, get another ultrasound. And I'm, I'm glad that I trusted my, my gut because when I did go back for the ultrasound, I could even, I could tell as soon as I saw it on the screen. It was every other kind of benign lump was like this dark, kind of smooth looking circle where this one was when you could see it, it kind of had legs and arms coming out of it. Scary looking.

Yeah.

So I knew instantly, maybe because of where I worked too, a little bit. Like, I, I wasn't really. I was more aware, I guess you could say, of what to look for and what looks good and what doesn't. But the interesting thing is the same day, they sent me for a mammogram because they thought it looked suspicious. Nothing showed up on the mammogram. So that's another part where I feel like, because I've started this breast cancer awareness journey, I have been telling people, you know, go, go get a mammogram. But a mammogram doesn't always show that you have cancer, especially if you have dense breasts.

So it could be almost a false.

It is purity a little bit. And because people assume dense breasts mean heavy breasts or big breasts, it doesn't. I have very, very dense breasts, but I have zero breast tissue. It's just. It doesn't show up on a mammogram.

So saying. So this lump that you had would have not even triggered on a mammogram?

No. So that's why I do try to tell people, you know, great, get a mammogram. But also, if you have a lump or something, get an ultrasound just so they can get a better view of this. Because my lump didn't even show up. My implants were blocking it, and you really couldn't see it on the mammogram.

Wow. Wow, that's wild.

So I had a biopsy, which then confirmed it was invasive carcinoma. So it's stage two breast cancer. I did have an MRI afterwards, which showed that it was a tumor that was about 2 centimeters, but it was also sort of spreading across my breast in these tiny little micro dots across 8cm wide. So that also didn't show up on the mammogram.

So tell us what was going through your mind at this time? Because I can only imagine sitting there hearing this news, like, what was. What was happening? What were you thinking right then when you found that this out?

I think I was initially a little bit in shock only because I didn't. You never think it's going to happen to you, and because I started thinking about all the things that were going to happen. And at that moment, I kind of wish that I was a little bit. Maybe more in the dark. Yeah. But because of where I worked, I just. All these things were kind of rushing to my head. Like, I. I knew what was next. I knew what was going to happen. I was kind of preparing myself on how to even tell my fiance and how to tell my kids. Like, all these thoughts just rushed into my head. But I think no matter even how educated you might be or how much you know about something, when it happens to you, it just absolutely. It just is a shock. And I think I went home And I spoke to my partner and I said, you know, I'm pretty sure it's cancer before we even knew it was cancer. And I said, because I know so much about this and because of the position that I'm in, and because I never ever thought that this would be something that would happen to me, I said, I think I want to start documenting it. I don't know why I did, but I started just taking these videos and following along. And I thought, you know, what if it is cancer, maybe this will help somebody. So it came in handy because it was kind of like a way of journaling for me, in a sense. And it helped me get through and be really vulnerable and kind of just take each feeling as it came.

So, Terza, I'm wondering, your mindset, in addition to processing all that, did you go to? And maybe there's not an answer to this, but I'm really curious. Did you go to, oh my gosh, this is the end of the world, or did you go to, like, I'm going to beat this. Like, where did you naturally gravitate instantly?

I, I was in fight mode. So I thought, nope, we're going to, we're going to just accept it and go from there and just kind of, okay, fight back. Like, I, like I said, like, I just, I was a healthy 36 year old and this kind of throws you back a little bit where you just, it's, it's kind of putting your life on pause.

Totally.

And I was in such a go mode at this time where I was like, no, no, I don't have time to.

Sure. Oh, I get that. Yeah. Like, no one has time for the crisis, right?

No. And so, I mean, cancer, any kind of diagnosis, it does force you to just stop and pause. And unfortunately it takes up quite a large chunk of your life, but it, it slows you down. And I just always thought, from the beginning, from when I found out, I just thought, I'm just going to be as positive as I can. I'm such a huge believer in what you think is kind of what you attract. And for sure, I think mindset has been a huge part of my whole journey.

How did you decide? You know, there's such controversy over going traditional medicine and doing chemo and radiation or especially in stage two, like, like stage four, a lot of people automatically go to that. But in stage two, there's a lot of controversy over, like, people. And it's always from people that don't have cancer. Right. Like, they say what they would do or what Someone else should do of, like, I'm going to go the traditional way or nope, I'm going to go all natural. I'm going into all this, like these herbs and I'm meditating and all that. Did you have this conversation and what did you think you would do and how did you decide?

I did have a few people reach out and maybe not tell me, but suggest that I should try this. And chemo is just so hard. I definitely am not against anything. I agree with both in this case, because I worked for a doctor and I kind of have seen the outcomes of people who've had these types of diagnosis. I, I thought for me, I definitely can't just go with the natural path and not do what's medically suggested. It just, I want, I want to have a long life. So for me, I said, okay, well, I'm gonna, I'm going to do the chemo, I'm going to do the surgery, and I'm still going to do the other things as well.

Yeah, like, why not hit it with everything? Yeah, yeah.

I, and I, I don't, I don't have any, you know, opinions on anyone's choice to do either one. I just, for me, it, it seemed like my cancer was spreading quite fast and I had to make a decision. And for me, I, I just, I didn't want to do five months chemotherapy, but I needed to aggressively stop the cancer.

Okay, let me, I want to ask you a question, and I think a lot of women will relate to this. You know, some of you are watching her on video. A lot of you are watching or just listening to the audio, but physically, you're beautiful. Like, you've got, and you are a girl, as girly as they come. Right. And before you had the diagnosis, she had the long, thick black hair, and she's got the eyelashes and beautiful. What was the conversation of losing hair and knowing that that's gonna. Because I, I, I understand that that had to have been a huge part of your identity, whether you chose it or not is appearance and look. So I'm curious how you navigated that and how hard was that or how simple was that?

So at first they told me, because of my age, because I'm healthy and 36, they were going to hit me with the most aggressive treatment because I could handle it. Like, why not? You know, kind of hit you hard, get rid of this cancer and you're 36. So, you know, they thought I would be able to do it, um, at first, you know, anytime you hear chemotherapy, the first Thing you think of is, I'm going to lose my hair. Um, I was actually surprised at myself on how well I did with the shaving of the head and losing my hair.

I watched your video on that. Yeah.

So my hair. I was preparing myself as much as someone can prepare yourself for, but my hair started falling out after my first treatment. About a week and a half later, I was in the shower and it kind of just started coming out in clumps, which I instantly started crying, had a little bit of a meltdown. I knew it was going to happen, but I think because my hair was so long, like, it just. It was a little bit traumatic. So I waited until the next day, until I was mentally better prepared, kind of like in a more of a positive attitude to shave my head. And I kind of made it like my. My daughter was there, my fiance was the one who shaved my head for me. And I just. I wanted to be in a good mindset, I guess, before.

I think it was your video that I saw, maybe correct me if I'm wrong with that. You were like, don't. Don't start with the top. Like.

Right. He wanted to start on the top.

I said, let's.

Let's ease into it.

Yes, yes. But let's start on the bottom and the sides.

Yeah. So, I mean, I waited until I was okay. And for me, it kind of felt like I took back a bit of control in that moment where everything's kind of out of your control. So for me, it kind of. I said, okay. Instead of my hair falling out in patches, I'm going to just take control back, do it, and buzz my head. And. Yeah, my fiance was actually more concerned with how it would affect me than. Than I think I. Yes, I thought I would be. I am very girly. I love my makeup and my hair and my, you know, everything. So it. It was hard. And losing the eyelashes and the eyebrows, it's hard. But I think overall, when you kind of face something like this and it kind of puts everything into perspective where. What I thought if you had told me eight months ago, terza, you're going to be bald and sharing videos where you're not wearing any makeup and you're deathly ill, I would have said, never, never in a million years. But I think when something like this happens and you become so vulnerable, I never. I still don't know how I. How I'm confident. I think it's just sometimes I think it's the little things don't matter anymore.

I feel like you are did what? I. I mean, I don't know, because I haven't walked through your shoes. But what I would do as a girly girl, like, I watch like, you still have your lashes on, and you're like, I will find a way. It will still look great. Like, I watched you going into chemotherapy with lashes and your eyebrows done and all the things. And I was like, yeah, that's probably how I would be. I can imagine. Like, I'm so. My lashes. Yeah.

Yeah. I kept my nails through the whole process. I put on my lashes as. As I could, but it wasn't. It wasn't for anyone else. I do that stuff for. For me. And so it's almost like a form of how I get my mindset started for the day. And for me, putting on my makeup is kind of makes me feel better.

I get that. Yeah, I get that. In fact, I tell women, I mean, aside from this is like, it's just like, even with weight loss or women like that walk around in their frumpy sweats and stuff, I'm like, no, go get dressed. And makes you act as if it makes you act better. And I think by you putting on the makeup and the fashion and all of that, you're walking into a new version of you. It's like, it helps set you up to be winning. I think it did.

And I think it almost tricks your. Your brain in a sense where if you are walking around like, yeah, in sweatpants or just looking deathly ill, you're going to feel worse. So I kind of. I didn't go anywhere, but I would still get up every day and do my makeup. And I. I wanted my kids to also see that I was still somewhat looking healthy. But I think that's why I also chose to share some of the parts of my journey where it was less glamorized and a little bit more vulnerable, because I. I don't want to give the wrong message that cancer is just this breeze and you can go to chemo with your lashes and you'll be fine. You know, it was. It was definitely a struggle.

So how did you decide, or was it the doctor to do the chemo first and then go into. To the removal and the mastectomy? Like, how did. Was that a choice? Did they suggest it that way?

So everyone's journey is a little bit different depending on the type of cancer they have. If I had just had the tumor, then having surgery first and chemo after would have probably been the plan, but because my cancer was spreading across my breast, kind of in the ductile area. It. It made more sense for them to have the chemo shrink the cancer cells as much as they could so that when they do do the surgery, the pathology would come back and there wouldn't be any cancer cells left.

Got it?

Yeah. So that's why sometimes people do have their mastectomy first and then chemo. But, yes, for me, that was just not the option.

How were you feeling during chemo? Did you have any good days? And how are you feeling now?

So the first two months were really difficult. I was on a very, very strong chemo. They refer to it as the red devil. And those two months, I was so nauseous, so ill, Just defeated. I really just. I had a hard time with that, that first two months. And then the last three months, it was a different type of chemo. It was a little bit more manageable, but each time you go, you just feel more and more weak, and you just have. I have a hard time going up the stairs.

Yeah.

So for coming from someone who went to the gym and worked out all the time, and then being out of breath from walking from one room to the other, it's. Wow, it's really hard.

Yeah. How do you feel now that it's complete?

I'm still feeling the effects. That's the hard part is, I think people think once you finish chemo, you're good to go, and everyone wants to celebrate. But chemo, you know, it stays in your system for months, even sometimes years, and it's a struggle. So I'm definitely trying to get used to this new way of appreciating my body and being kind to myself, because I get frustrated with things I used to be able to do, and I can't do them anymore. But I know it's temporary, and I know, you know, things will come back, but it's just so hard on your body.

Tell me about what happened, how you got thrown into menopause. Is that from the chemo? Do they do that ahead of time? Like, and then. And then I. My gosh. Then you're dealing with that on top of all. Couple of things. And then I'm also curious. I know you mentioned you had a specific kind of that estrogen. I want to understand a little bit more about that.

Yeah. So there are a few different kinds of breast cancer. Mine is estrogen positive and progesterone positive. And then there's also HER2 receptor, which. Mine is negative. So some people can be triple negative. Some people can have, you know, two positives, three positives. But because mine is hormone positive, it does. It makes things a little bit different.

So what does that mean, hormone positive? That you. That you are overproducing that hormone or what does that mean?

It's. It's the type of cancer that they found in the tumor when they did the biopsy.

Okay.

So it's a. It's an estrogen positive type of cancer, which means that I am more likely to get ovarian cancer. So I'm high risk now for ovarian cancer. So that is why I have to be put into induced menopause.

Because they want to stop the production of estrogen and progesterone. Is that what it is?

Exactly.

So does that mean you would never be able to do hormone replacement therapy as well?

No.

Yeah, got it. Okay, so how do. Okay, sorry.

Sorry. Yeah.

How do people. Is that something that is preventable or is that just kind of luck of the draw? There's no way to. To control that?

No, there's. There's no way. You know, people who have triple negative cancer or hormone positive cancer. It's just kind of the luck of the draw. You can get your genetic testing and see if you do carry the gene. I'm still on the wait list about.

The BRCA testing that. Okay.

So I'm still waiting to know if I have the gene. But even regardless, like, there's really nothing you can do. And I want to. I just want to make people aware. Like, I wasn't on birth control. I breastfed both my children. Yeah. Like, I had kids early. Like they say breastfeeding is supposed to reduce the risk of breast cancer. So it really is just luck of the draw.

Yes.

So the chemo that I was on did put me into menopause. So it just stops your ovary production.

But then you're adding to why you're feeling that way. Because no production, no estrogen. That is all just. And it's yourself. Women my age are very familiar with that. Like when we have the drops.

Yeah. So I've been, you know, having all the hot flashes and all the side effects.

Welcome to the 50 something. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. So I will have to be on medication for about 10 years. I'll probably have to have a hysterectomy with my ovaries removed down the road as well.

And the medication is just to ensure that you don't start menstruating again and produce hormones. Is that what that's for?

Yeah, it basically just is an ovarian suppression. So it just puts you into Full force menopause. And so when you, when you are in induced menopause, everything hits you all at once, extremely hard, and it's so difficult to manage. I mean, for me, the, the breast cancer part and the chemotherapy part is hard, but I think I'm having a harder time accepting the menopause part because I'm. I'm 37 now.

Yes.

And it's just something that's, thankfully, I mean, I've had both of my children and I'm finished having kids, but I don't want to. I don't want to be in menopause at 30.

I'll give you one positive. You're not gonna have to deal with it in 10 years. Because. Because you know why? We all deal with it. I mean, if I, if I may give you. We all deal with it. So you just get to deal with it early. And then when all your friends are really dealing with it, you'll be like, I already did it. Now I'm. My best life.

I know.

Positive on there. Maybe there's a positive on there.

There is. I mean, it's hard, though, because when you're researching all these things that you can do and even some of the things that you talk about on your podcast, they're so helpful for women in menopause. But if you have breast cancer that's estrogen positive, there's some of those things that you.

You like the hormone replacement. Yeah, exactly. Like, I talk a lot about hormone replacement therapy with bioidenticals, and I get it. If that's your background, that's. That doesn't work. So. No to me, too, when I'm interviewing people now, I want to ask that question because I want to be able to help other women like you that are having. Are navigating that. Okay, so what you have mastered, though, which I'm just so interested in, and I want to. I want to turn this conversation a little bit because I think you can really help some women here. How the heck are you so positive and still look amazing as you've walked through so much between the diagnosis and the chemo and the menopause, and now you're going to have a, you know, the hysterectomy and then you have the, the breast removal. All of it. Like, help us understand, because this is amazing. I mean, you've. You have figured something else. Whether you are just faking it till you make it or you actually believe it. Either way, I think we all want to learn some of that from you.

Thank you. I make a Conscious effort every day when I wake up to be grateful and to be positive. And it sounds cheesy and corny, but I do.

Cheesy to me.

Yeah, I, I've. I've kind of just made it like my routine. And then at night when I go to bed, I just do it over in my head. I just think of three things as a minimum of like what I'm grateful for and I just kind of repeat them over in my head. I have like a little notes in my phone of things that I read every day and I kind of remind myself and I think it's just, it just takes a lot of work from yourself with your self talk and you're, you're alone a lot during cancer treatment. It's a lonely, lonely process and you're left alone with your thoughts. And so if your thoughts are taking over in a negative way, it's not going to be very helpful for you. So for me, I, I just choose to be really positive and be really grateful because I know that it could always be worse. And as much as this is hard, it's not the end of the world. And I, I keep reminding myself like it's a bump in the road, it's temporary and then make something out of it. So for me I chose to be open and hopefully reach people and help people and that kind of kept me going a little bit. Yeah.

And I believe you have helped a lot of people because you're, it's like you're doing it different. You're literally doing it different than we, we see and it gives some hope because breast cancer is so real and it doesn't discriminate and there's just so many false beliefs around it. And I think women really tend to go into self beat up when they get it like they did something wrong.

The thing I was most shocked about was I've been able to reach out to so many people through social media, which is just crazy. But I talked to so many breast cancer survivors or people that are going through it right now and the number one thing is they are ashamed of their breast cancer. And so there's a lot of women that have told me. I've hid it from my co workers, I've hid it from my family. I'm not posting about it. And they've said things to me like your story makes me feel like I can share my story now. And so I just think this is not something that we should be ashamed of. I think more women should be talking about it and not just the women.

And not just the preventative, because I think the preventative is important and could have helped delay it for years. For you, we don't know. But though the. It's okay if this happened to you, there's no shame in it. It's not. You did something wrong. Yeah.

And I think there's just this general stigma around cancer and, you know, you're gonna be bald and look sick and look ill and frail where. Yeah, you feel like that. But you can also choose to do it the way I did it and just kind of take what you can and, you know, make the best of it. It's. I'm not saying it's great, but, you know, I just. I didn't want to change. I didn't want to lose, like, my girly girl. That's who I am. So I just think if you're able to kind of change your mindset about it and wake up every day and say, okay, this. This sucks, but we're gonna do this. And there. I'm not saying there weren't days where I was sad and down and I would allow myself to have those days, but I give it a time limit where, okay, you're going to be sad. You're going to be sad for one day, and tomorrow is going to be a new day. We're not going to just be sad.

Yeah.

For weeks and weeks and weeks.

What did you learn about friends, family? Did you make changes there? I'm curious about that.

Yeah. So friends, whenever something like this happens, I think you, You. You are shown who your real friends are. They just step up. And I also think, you know, the friends that maybe weren't as important to you or didn't have, you know, if they're not there, you're really not going to take your time and reach out anymore. I think your. Your time becomes really, really precious. And anywhere I put my energy or who I spend it with now is. That's really special and important to me. So I think it just kind of weans out the people who weren't really your friends, and then it really makes your friendship stronger for the people that show up. And then as far as family goes, this definitely affects everyone in the family. So my fiance and my kids, they've been amazing, but cancer affects everybody. So I. I mean, I don't think we're ever gonna.

Yeah.

Look at things the same or appreciate things the way we used to, and it just puts things into perspective.

Tell me about the. I'm gonna call it the snake oil people. The people with. Well, Meaning. Meaning that reach out with their remedies and their cures and the. But you only need to do this and take this pill and go to this retreat. I'm sure you had that. I'm sure you had. What do you want those people to know? Because I think it's. It's such a personal choice what you're walking through. Did you appreciate or did it genuinely annoy you? This is sort of your chance. Like, tell people what? Because a lot of people have questions about that. Like, they think they're helping someone, but it could be very triggering. So I'm curious your thoughts there.

It could be triggering for some people. I really don't let a whole lot get to me because at the end of the day, they are just trying to help you. And so you don't have to get into an arguing match with them. You can just say, thank you so much for the information. Yeah. But you're like, but I don't want. It doesn't bother me. No, because I think at the end of the day, they're just trying to help you.

Okay. That's a great attitude. Yeah.

Yeah. So I don't. I just don't get upset about that kind of stuff. And luckily, I haven't had any negative comments or things like that.

What is the right thing for somebody to say to someone new, newly diagnosed with a cancer? What did you appreciate most?

It's. Well, when you're first diagnosed, you're hit with a ton of information, whether it's from yourself, Googling or just from all your doctors. There's just so much going on in your head. So just being there and saying, what do you need? Or how can I help? Those are those little things, or even just. Just being there. Because I think people always want to give a ton of advice, or they say, well, I know so and so who did this, and this worked for them. But there's so many different types of cancers and stories out there that I think just. Just listening and. And saying, I'm here if you need me. It's kind of all you can really do. Yeah.

So with the mastectomy coming up, I know it's another big stage you are about to walk through. I'm assuming you have some hard decisions to make there too. Like. Like from vanity. Like, are you putting implants back in are to. To healing? How are you walking into this mastectomy?

Yeah. So everyone does have a choice somewhat, because of the risks and everything. It's. People always ask, well, why are you having the mastectomy? If the chemo worked well, it's because you still have breast tissue there. And just because the chemo shrank the cancer cells, those cancer cells have already grown in your breast tissue. So you want to do everything you can to avoid a reoccurrence. So for me, it was an easy choice. I'm doing a double mastectomy, so both sides. And I will do the reconstruction part because I'm 37 and, you know, I, I still want to have breasts, and that's important to me. Everyone's decision is just so personal. I'm going to do the reconstruction part and then, you know, eventually down the road do the nipple tattoos and everything. But yeah, I think that is in its own journey. Like, I feel like I just finished chemo and now I have to kind of wrap my head around surgery. And that is, I think that's really hard for everybody because you do kind of. Your breasts are kind of part of who you are as a woman. And I feel like it makes you feel feminine. Well, it does for me. And I mean, it's going to be challenging to kind of look in the mirror and see this new self. But also, I mean, reconstruction's come a long way. So, yeah, I'm, I'm not, not overly upset about it. I think I just have to accept it and, and it's better than the alternative. So.

So I believe a lot of people turn their pain and their setbacks into purpose. Do you feel that this is contributing to that right now?

I do, yeah. I feel like I have taken something that is looked at as awful and sad and negative, and I've turned it into something positive. And I always kind of said from the start, when I decided to share everything I said, even if I can just kind of help one person or help someone go through who's going through it or even just help someone, you know, get diagnosed who maybe wouldn't have gone to get checked. I know it would be worth it. And it's been just an over pour of like people messaging me saying that your video made me go to the doctor and I found a lump or I'm, you know, I'm in my 50s and I'm going for my first mammogram because of you and things like that. It's, it does. It definitely changes the whole thing where, yeah, it is something that was negative and I am turning it into more of like a positive purpose for myself.

So amazing. I just absolutely love your whole attitude around all of it. I love how you've showed up. You've literally put a different perspective and light on cancer. As far as I've seen, I've not met anyone like you that just, you know that I feel like I'd somebody I'd be friends with that I'm like, watching you walk through this with the lipstick and the eyelashes, and I'm like, oh, she's my soul sister. I see it. I can see doing the same thing when my husband would be saying it's not important knowing, and I would still be like, yes, it is, though.

Like, it is.

So I. So I appreciate the girly girl and he appreciates the girly girl in you. And no, I think you're is extremely motivating to watch. And I just. I really encourage everyone listening one to go get checked. Obviously do all the things that are preventative and you still check because I think it doesn't discriminate. And I encourage you to go follow her. Can you share where they can find you? I know that you're on Instagram, but what's your handle? Where do you want people to best follow you?

Yeah, Instagram is just at May. It's just my first and middle name. And then my TikTok is Terza M. Cooper.

Amazing. And we'll link all that up in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here today. This was so helpful.

Yeah, thank you so much for having me.