Turning Envy Into Results | Natalie Jill

Thanks for jumping on with me. I have a topic I want to share with you tonight. I want to talk about envy and jealousy and I'm going to explain why I'm bringing that up. But this is a theme that I noticed, especially around the holidays, especially when people have gotten off track with holiday parties and family get togethers and all the food and not working out so much. And we started to get off track. There tends to be a lot of what I call envy and scrolling. Like we'll start scrolling social media. We see other people are doing things and it makes us feel bad about ourselves and then we just don't want to take any action. So I'm going to talk about that tonight. I've got some tips that you can start shifting things right now before the new year so you can jump into 2019 on fire. Are you in? Do you want to hear this? For those of you new to my page, I'm Natalie Jill. I'm a licensed master sports nutritionist and functional fitness trainer. And what I do is I kill fat for a living. The false assumed truths that we form in our minds. And my focus is really for women, for women who want to age and reverse. So although I can help all of you and anyone, I love chatting with all of you. My focus is really women in the 40s, 50s, 60s that are really not loving the agent so much right now and want to start feeling really good again the way that they did when they were 20. So that's who I'm talking to. So if that's you, welcome. Tell me who you are and how old you are too. I want to know. I love knowing who I'm talking to and how old you are. I'm 47 for those of you that don't know. So talk to me because there's not a lot of us talking about age and I want to make sure that we're talking about that. So thanks you guys for joining. So I want to jump into this topic. This is a big one. It's that feeling of I don't feel good about myself. And then you start turn on the TV or you go to the gym and you see other people looking great or you scroll social media and you see the like over photoshopped over filtered versions of people in their perfect life and we start feeling this. It's an envy or it's a jealousy, but we think it's this hate or I don't like. And so then what we start doing is we start coming up with excuses as to why we don't actually want that. So an example is you could see a woman, you're scrolling. You see a woman that looks super hot, fit, amazing. And the instant thought is, I don't have that. I don't look like that. I can't be that. So then what you do is to counter that, you start saying, well, I don't actually really want that. I don't actually really want that. And then what we start doing is we start justifying with, well, most people my age don't have that, others don't have it. And then we start validating that excuse. So we talk to friends, we talk to others, and they all say, you're right, you're too old, we're too old. Our time has passed. We don't like that. And then we never go for those goals. Can you guys relate to that? Do you know what I'm talking about here? Tell me if you do. I've been guilty of that at times for sure. So that's why I wanted to bring this up. But there's a big danger in that because that's all coming from false assumed truths. It's coming from stuff that we've created in our own minds and then we've gotten it validated by society and other people. And it does not help us get better or get towards our goals. It doesn't help us get better. So the first step, truly recognize that, that what that's coming from. It's coming from you see someone looking great, feeling great, having something, being something that you've wanted and you don't have it. So it's an instant reaction to go to jealous envy or hate, and then a reason why you don't actually want it. That's the pattern. That's what happens. So you see it, you don't like that, you don't have it. So you go to jealous envy. And now a reason why you don't actually want it, which isn't really true. It's just your way of making yourself feel better. Can you guys. Do you see that? Do any of you see that? I'm 100% guilty about it sometimes. I know, sometimes I'll be scrolling social media and I'll see people with these, you know, like a private jet or really fancy car. And I would, I would catch myself in this pattern of, well, I would never really want that. Well, like really, who really wouldn't want a private jet? Come on, let's be real. I would want a private jet. I went to that because of jealousy and envy. And then it's protecting yourself. It's protecting yourself. So the first step is recognizing that. Recognizing that when you feel that way, it's. It is coming from that. And when we have a feeling of jealousy or envy or lack of confidence like that, what that means. What that means is that we don't feel good about ourselves. Because this one's a little bit harder to digest. But because we gave up too soon. We gave up too soon. It's really critical that we own this, because if we're accountable to it, we can start making a change. So what that means is somebody's more fit than me. I don't like it. I'm not fit. What it really means, if you try to. If you want to look at the accountability, is, did I really do everything that I could have done? Did I give up too quickly? And now I'm envious that somebody else is doing that. So it's important to recognize that, because if you don't, you can't make a change. And then we just continue this cycle of envy and excuse and validating the excuse and then never getting to where we want to go. Right, Right. I've heard this story before. I was actually. I was at a friend's event in Australia, and he shared this story. And I have recognized this many times, especially when I used to train CL clients in the weight room. What would come up is you would see a woman who would. I'd have a female client, and she'd say, I want. I go through, what do they want? What do they want? And they'd say, I want to be a size 6. I want to be thin, I want to be fit. I want to look great. They would describe exactly what they want, and then we'd start working out together. And the next thing you know, they would see a woman that fits that description walk in. And she'd walk in all cute and dress fit and cute and hot and whatever she wanted to describe. And instead of saying, wow, she looks amazing. I'm going to ask her what she's doing. What do women do? What women do is they say, tramp, slut. They say nasty things about the person. That's what they do. I know you've seen this. So we say we want something, and then we see somebody that's achieved it. And instead of saying, how did you do that? I want to learn from you. How did you do that? We go to the nasty. Like, oh, well, she's not good. She's bad. She's awful. She's terrible. She looks sleazy, whatever it is to make ourselves feel better. So we're never actually doing the work to learn how they got that way. We do it with the way people physically look. We do it with the way that for people that have things, when we think that they have things that we don't have and we're envious of that, we do that with so many different things. We, like, we see somebody, they have something that we don't have that we wanted, and instead of saying, hey, I'm going to ask them how they did it and learn how to get that and do the work to get there. Instead, we go to the negative and say, I wouldn't want that anyway. Look at them. It's a pattern. It's a pattern, and it's important that we recognize this, because as long as we stay stuck in that, nothing ever shifts and we never get to that next level of being a better version of ourselves. So the first step is truly recognizing that. Okay, so once you recognize that, what do you do? What do you do? Are you guys curious? What do you do? The number one, the first thing you do is you recognize it, and then you stop complaining. You say, I am not going to anymore. Complain and compare. So every time you see something that you want, you like, you're envious of, you have that feeling you say, filter on. I'm no longer going to judge it. I'm no longer going to compare myself to it. I'm literally going to stop comparing. And if you find that looking at those things or looking, looking at those people are triggering that too much and you can't do it, then stop following those people. Stop following them. Stop watching them turn off the tv, Stop buying those magazines. If that is triggering that feeling to you, then you have to take this. Like, I'm not. I don't even want to watch it. I'm not even going to look at it. So you can go extreme or you can embrace it and say, I'm going to stop comparing and I'm going to stop judging. And I'm going to start asking questions. Because here's the thing, you guys, people that successful at something, they want to share. They're, like, happy to share. They want to teach and share. You could go up to somebody that you admire and say, gosh, I really admire what you've done, what you look like, what have you done? People will tell you. They will tell you. But we get caught up in this hate comparison. I'm gonna. I don't. I don't want to ask them. I don't like them and then we never get better. So you have a choice when you see that, you either can ask them for help and admire and start taking their tips and learning or you can choose not to follow and just don't even put it in your realm of things. That's number one. That's the first thing that you guys can do and it makes such a big difference. The next thing is find somebody who accomplished what it is that you actually want, that started from a place that you are now. Does that make sense? So you find somebody. So let's say you want to lose 50 pounds. Let's use that as an example. You want to lose 50 pounds and all you see is people that look super fit and it's bothering you, you're jealous, you're envious, you start hating on them, you don't like it. Well, find somebody that lost the 50 pounds, that starting from where you are now, like they were where you were. So you can start reading and learning about these success journeys because that gives you a path, that gives you a way, it gets you out of your head of that false assumed truth and you start seeing as possible. So you make that decision like, I'm going to find other people in my situation and that are doing it. Same thing with a career. You want a career change and you think it's too late, you're too old, it's not possible. Find somebody your age that did it or that's older than you that did it. So instead of saying it can't be done, hating on them, being, you know, I'm not going to look at anything. Find examples. There's always examples of people that are doing those things that it is that you want to accomplish. It's always there. It's always there. It's always there. Same thing. So especially when it comes to age. When it comes to age, look for people in your age range that are doing what it is that you want to do because then you have a model to follow and it stops all those excuses of like, well, it's too late for me or I'm too old. So that's number two. The next thing, this is a big one. Okay, ready? You're going to start taking action. So you're going to start taking action and any amount of action is better than no action. So what happens a lot of times is we hear that I've got to take massive action to get results. Okay, great. Yes, you do have to take massive action to get results. But this is what happens. We think we have to do so Much take so many actions that we may never even start. Like, okay, oh my gosh, I have to go work out and I have to go do this and I have to go do that and I have to talk to so and so and I have to listen to this and I have to that. And then next thing you know, we're overwhelmed with tasks and we don't do anything. Who knows that? So when that happens, we don't get anywhere. So the way to stop that is to literally start by putting one foot in front of the other. One thing at a time. Take many actions. Little steps over time make a big difference. Those tiny little steps over time make a big difference. So fine, you have this big task list of massive action that is drowning. You don't think about all those things. Think of one thing. What can I do? What's one thing I could do right now? What's one thing I can do tomorrow? And you think, how can I do one thing now better than yesterday? It's always just one step in front of the other. If you go outside right now and take one step, one step, one step, eventually you get someplace else, right? So instead of looking at I've got to do all these things this massive to do of what needs to happen. Break it down to baby steps. One step at a time. Every single step counts. Start taking action. And I'm not going to say take massive action. Start taking steps. Any step towards that action. You want to lose weight, Start little to add more water, start adding in healthier foods. Start, start moving your body. More simple things. You want to earn more money, how do you do that? Start exploring other options. How do you ask for a raise? How do you create your own business? How can you cut costs? Start asking those questions and take one thing at a time. So everything is a baby step. Everything is a baby step. Okay? The next thing with that taking action, find an interruption. Let me explain what that means by that, what I mean by that. Find an interruption. An interruption is having somebody in your life that is going to stop you when you get in your head with those false assumed truths. So they see things that you're not seeing about yourself. So they're going to interrupt you. Now, who is that person? It could be a friend. It could be a friend. I have a lot of friends that can be interruptions for me. But look at your friends and be honest with them, that you want them to give you true feedback. Because a lot of friends, they play the. I'm not going to tell you that you don't look good or you're not doing a good thing or they want to play nice. They're people pleasers. So. So you need friends that are honest with you and that are going to be an interruption for you and call you out on your stuff when you're in your head. And if you don't have that, then as a coach, find a mentor or a coach or somebody that's going to interrupt you. The best coaches out there are not there just to people, please. The best coaches are going to call you forth on things that you're not seeing about yourself and up level you, level you up to something else, to something better than you. When I talk to clients, I never see them where they are right now. I never see them where they are right now. So somebody comes to me, they're overweight, I don't see them 100 pounds overweight, I don't see them 50 pounds overweight. I don't see them the way that they're feeling. I don't see them in this frumpy, not confident state. That's not what I see. I see them at their fullest potential. I see them at their best. I see them looking youthful, aging in reverse, in their tight toned body. I see them successful in a happy relationship. And I talk to that person. That's who I'm talking to. And that's what we need to look for, is people that will talk to us like that, talk to people in their greatest and look for people that are going to talk to you that way so they hold you high and hold them high, really important. So that interruption, the next thing is get clear on your vision, on your vision, what is it that you actually want? Not what do you think you should have, not what do you think you can't have. Not what does somebody tell you you want? Really take some time to get clear, like what do I want? And stop your mind from going into the how and the reasons why you can't. Because that's what we do. We go to those, I call them self imposed stops or false assumed truths. We go to those reasons why we tried something before and it no longer works and we get stuck there. So we don't even let ourselves dream anymore and create a vision. But what I'm going to say is find what it is that you actually want and dream and decide what that is and get super clear on that. Because that way when you do those things I said before about finding an example, looking for an interruption in a coach and taking action, you know what you're working towards. You know what you're working towards and that's critical. You want to know what it is that you're actually working towards so you can take those actions and get that support to get there. Really, really important. And then the other thing, the next thing I'm going to talk about is putting those blinders on. Once you're clear with that vision, when you're clear on that and you start surrounding yourself with people that are going to support that vision, you've got the coach interrupting it. You're taking those baby steps. Then you get to put blinders on. Like you guys have seen horses with the blinders on them and they can't see any other direction. Right. That's what you need. You got to put blinders on. Blinders on so that you can't get interrupted by things not going in that right direction. Let's see. Hi, I'm going to start taking some questions here. Jada Stile. Yes, isolation can lead to depression, but so Jat so can being with the wrong people. That's critical. So it's both things. It's. Yes. You don't want to just hide out and be alone in your own head because that's dangerous. When we say in our own head and have no interruption and no outside guidance, that's dangerous. But when you are with the wrong people, that's also dangerous. So we want people that aren't validating our excuses. We want people that are lifting us up, that are seeing us higher, that are leveling us up and getting us to the next level. I'm going to start taking some questions too. And before I forget, you guys really important. Wednesday, Wednesday at 4:00pm Pacific Time, I am doing a free class, a free class where I'm going to teach you a whole plan to make 2019 your best year ever. So it's totally free. All you do. And I'm here on Facebook and Instagram. If you're on Instagram and you can type it, I would love for you to type it so I can pin it on Facebook. I'm going to put it right here. But it's www. It has to be www.dot Natalie Jill class.com and you can register. It's totally free, totally free. I just posted my Facebook and you can put it on Instagram. And you. I'm going to be doing a live class, a video conference class. So I'll actually go to see you. You'll be able to see me, ask questions and I'm going to go through a Whole process with you. And I'm going to be answering a lot of questions on there, too. So before I forget, make sure you do that. Okay, I'm going to take some questions here. Let's see. Hi, Robin. Hi, Landa. I see you there. Hi, girl. Okay, any questions? The only person. Yes, Kerri, Absolutely. The only person you need to compare yourself is yourself and getting better than yesterday. One step at a time. Better than yesterday. It's always what is one step in front of the other. Better than yesterday. Let's see. Yvette. How can someone stay focused? Yvette, focus is totally a question of your vision. When you get super clear on your vision and what it is that you really want and you're so super clear on what that is, it makes it really easy to have passion and purpose and stay focused to it. When we're not focused, it's because we really are not clear on what we want. It really comes down to that when we're not clear and we don't know, like, I don't know how much money I want to make. I don't know what kind of relationship I want to be in. I don't know what kind of job I want. I don't know what I want to look like. Let's see what happens. That's when it's hard to stay focused and stay motivated. But when we're super clear on that vision, it makes it a lot easier. So the way you would get super clear is by creating a vision and being really clear what that vision is. And that's going to help you drive your focus. It absolutely will help you drive your focus right there. Okay, let's see more questions. Hi, Amy. I see you. I see you. Okay, let's see more questions. Yeah. Okay, hold on. I'm a little bit computer challenged right now. Trying to look back and forth on Instagram and Facebook. You sign up. Awesome. Lucy, I can't wait to see you there. Thank you, Kathy. Kathy says she likes my cranberry top. I'm about to go on a dinner date with my hubby, so I'm not in workout clothes. Let's see, Kathy, what skincare do I use? Ooh, Kathy, I don't use shakes. I'm not a fan of shakes. As far as food, I'm a fan of unprocessed, natural, real food. As far as supplements, there's a few that I use. I use a lot from Isagenix, I use Isagenesis, and I use fish oil from them. I use collagen. There's A bunch of things I use. And I'm happy to. If you type in Natalie Jill supplements, you'll get a whole blog link that shares exactly what I use, what I use. Thanks, Lucy, for putting that link there. OK, let's see, Sophie, 30 minutes is okay to start with? Yes. Sophie, honestly. OK, Sophie is asking, is 30 minutes enough time to start an exercise program? It's more than enough time. Let me tell you guys this. Even five minutes a day of something is going to help start to change your body. If you do not believe me right now, if you do not believe me, my challenge to you is to go hold a plank for five minutes. Try to hold a plank for five minutes and tell me if that's easy or hard. Or go try to do chin ups or pull ups for five minutes. Ha. So yes, it's not time. It's never time. It's a matter of intensity and progression. The more you work on being intense for yourself and challenging and progressing, that is how you increase. That is exactly how you increase. That's how you do it and get results. It's a matter of that. It's not a matter of time. Susanna, you're planking again. Susanna, do you know how to jump on live? I'm gonna, I was gonna bring you on. Are you in a place where you want to be on live? If you, if you ask, hi, I can bring you on and we can chat. Let's see. Let me take more questions. Let's see. Make a look on Facebook over here. How to stay motivated. Yeah, okay. Lucy, same thing. How to stay motivated towards your entrepreneur goal while working 8 to 5 also. Same thing. Get really clear on that vision, that passion. Like, what is it that you want to do? I did that, by the way. I was in corporate America when I started my own business. It's amazing how much time you find and make use of when you're clear on your purpose and your passion. I can't say that enough. When you are clear on your passion and purpose, it's amazing the use of your time. What shifts, what happens is you start getting laser focus. You use your time very wisely and you get hyper. You get really good at doing things. Full focus, full speed. So what we do in a 9 to 5 job is we waste a lot of time. And I don't care. Who says that. You don't. You do. We do. We waste a lot of time in our jobs because we get distracted. We take our time, we take breaks, we check social media, we do lots of things. But when you're super crystal clear, laser clear on what it is that you want to go after. It's amazing how you start making better use of your time and you find time to work on your passion and your purpose. So we all have the same amount of time today, every single one of us. There's the same amount of time. It's all how you manage it. And you manage it by being clear on your passion and your purpose and where you want to focus. And that's how we do that. You're welcome. Let's see. Okay, I have a lot of trouble focusing. How do you do it when you have a lot to focus on? Sue? Same thing. So, okay, so sue, for years I said, I have add, I have add, which clinically, I have add. Got it. But it's not serving me to say I have ADD and I can't focus. This is my example. It wasn't serving me because that just made me more distracted. So goes back to what I said a second ago about vision and passion. When you're super clear on your vision, your passion, your purpose, then you start being able to laser in on exactly what needs to get done and you start prioritizing, like, what things are going to move me forward to the next level. What are those things? And let me work on those first. So, like, every day, every morning, I have a big to do list. I have a running to do list that I keep on paper like that all the time. But I look down at every morning and I think, okay, of this list, what two to four things can I pick that are going to help move me forward to my bigger vision and my bigger passion? What are those things? And I do those first. And I do them when I am at my prime time able to concentrate. I do those first. So whatever that is. If your biggest goal is health and you'll put that there. If your biggest goal is financial, whatever your biggest goal is, you want to look at your list and go, what are the things that are going to help move me to that next level? Do those first. Okay, let's see. What product do I use for my beautiful. Well, thank you, Karen. She said she likes my white teeth. I don't. I use Crest White. Does that help? I don't know if that does anything. I got California teeth. That's it. We all have white, white teeth in California here. Okay, let's see a few more. How can. Oops. I think I just answered that question. Make sure I think I haven't missed anything. I. If I didn't answer your question, Definitely ask it again so I can see it right now before I jump off. And okay, you guys, before I forget, three things. Three, three. The action things. If you want to really start jump starting things to the next level. Number one, definitely 100% sign up for my free class this Wednesday. Even if you cannot make it, sign up for it because I will be recording it. And if you're on that list, I will make sure I send it out to you. Okay, you want to be on live. You want to be on live because I'm going to be taking real time questions, answers on what I'm teaching. So do everything you can to be on live. But if you can't be on live, still sign up for it. So I make sure so I know how to reach you so I can send you the replay just for the people on the list. And you go to www.it's a free class I'm doing day after Christmas, Wednesday, 4 o' clock Pacific time. That's number one. And then the next thing is if you want more information on how to level up and to get better, like no joke, like wants to get better this year, you're committed. Then make sure you're subscribed to my podcast, Leveling Up. It's totally free. Also must do. It's called Leveling up. Creating everything. Nothing. You can find it on itunes, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts, make sure you subscribe there. And then if you want to make sure you're not missing any of my posts or anything, then definitely turn post notifications on or jump over to my NJFIT squad. I have a Facebook group called NJFIT Squad and I make sure everything goes in there and you'll see that stuff more frequently. But number one thing is get in that class I'm doing Wednesday because I'm going to be teaching all kinds of good stuff. Sophie, do I eat carbohydrates? Yes, I absolutely eat carbohydrates. You guys, carbohydrates are not evil. There's different levels of carbohydrates. I don't know if you know this, but celery is a carbohydrate. For example, vegetables are carbohydrates. Fruits are carbohydrates. I eat lots and lots and lots of those. I do not count my fruits or vegetables. What I do watch is my starchy carbs. I watch how many I'm having in portion sizes. But I'm definitely a fan of carbohydrates. I'm a huge fan of carbohydrates okay, let's see, last few questions. How to deal a stressful job without eating myself. Death. Angie. I love that question. I got it. So, Angie, it's just a pattern interrupt because you're used to, from what you said, and a lot of people can relate to this, you're used to, I get stressed. I need food, feed me. I'm stressed. I need food, feed me. And that's very normal. So it's a pattern interrupt. How can you start shifting that? It's just replacing it with something else. So lots of, like, a simple, easy way would be to stock healthy foods near you to take that edge off. So cut up vegetables, nuts, seeds, whatever you can so you can take the edge off. Hydrating all day long, drinking water, and then looking at. Okay, I'm stressed. I'm about to go eat. What can I do instead? Can I go for a walk? Can I take a quick break? Can I listen to a podcast? What can I do to pattern interrupt that? So it's just creating a new habit around it to change that. Okay, let's see. Any more final questions? Thank you, Jo. Merry Christmas to you too. All right, guys, thanks for joining me. Merry Christmas. If I don't see you for that, I will be back on live tomorrow for sure. But if I missed you for some reason, Merry Christmas and I hope to see you in that class on Wednesday. Natalie, Jill, class, hope to see you there. Www.nataliejillclass.com I will see you there. I've got a lot to share with you on Wednesday, so I'm excited to see you. Bye, guys.