Unashamed and Untamed with Jade Bryce

Hi, I'm Natalie Jill, fat loss expert turned lifestyle and high performance coach. Welcome to Listen up the podcast. On this podcast, I do what I do best. Taking complicated information that is relevant to us now and breaking it down simply with actionable steps you can implement to level up your life. I also regularly interview some of the most inspiring and courageous men and women on the planet who at their worst, learned how to achieve success greater than anything they ever, ever dreamed possible. Creating everything from nothing. If you are new here, I encourage you to go back and listen from episode one, when this podcast was previously called Leveling up for the Full Transformative Experience. Today on Listen Up, I have one of my new friends, Jade Bryce here, and she is a love, sex and relationship coach. And she said she. What she would tell people if they know this work is that she's a tantrica and intuitive. And she said, a sacred slut. She said it. She said those words. So I have so many questions for her. What I love about Jade is just how liberated and free and fun and joyful she is. And just being around her just makes others. I can speak for myself, want to be more authentic, want to play more, want to have more fun. And as I started to follow her and get to know her a little bit better, I'm just so intrigued about the work that she does and how it really frees people, especially women, how it really can free. So, Jay, thanks for being here today and talking with my audience here.

Yeah, I'm so excited.

Okay. I want to go back because I'm sure you weren't a little girl saying, I'm going to be a tantrica or I'm going to be a love, sex and relationship coach. I want to understand a little bit more about where this came from, what you went through, and what helped transition you into making this your life work.

Yeah, it's funny because when I tell my story, it can feel shocking and triggering for people. But there was a friend that we were actually with in Maui and I was telling him my story and he was like, wow, so you were basically a sex coach at age 4? And I was like, oh, I was, I guess without knowing it, it was like embedded in me, but it was just at the time, it was coming from a painful place. So, you know, as a, as a child, my parents were both drug addicts and my birth dad was heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol and very abusive. Very, very scary man. He also came from a painful place. So as I share a little bit of what my parents did to me, I'd like to also remind everyone listening that they were also hurt children. And so I can think about the things that they did to me. But then when I hear their story and think about what they went through, it's not that it eases the pain, but I'm able to look at it from a different lens and from a place of compassion. So I'd like to start with that. I know that my parents were doing the best that they could. My father was an actor and a comedian. He used to open up for Ellen DeGeneres, but really into a lot of drug usage. And I remember I used to come into the living room at 3 years old and just seeing men sprawled out with needles and coke and sleeping in their vomit. And these are just strange men, like, just in our apartment, you know, and my mom, you know, being abused by him so heavily and being afraid financially and being afraid of being a single mother, being. They were both teenagers, so they were both really not equipped as parents yet. And the things that I saw, the things that I witnessed at such an early age at 3, 4 years old, you know, him beating her and me begging him not to kill her and things like that, it was so traumatizing. But the thing that really all of that, of course, needed to be healed from, but the thing that really felt like it was being done to me because my nervous system was still so commingled with my mother's was there were times that he would beat her until she would blackout and then he would have sex with her. And so because my nervous system was still so commingled with hers, there was this confusion in me for so long of whether or not I was sexually abused by my father. And so, you know, there was that. And then he was in and out of jail throughout my whole life. And then into my early teen years, I was sexually abused by multiple family members and then also blamed for it because of how I dressed or because I didn't stop them, because I didn't walk away. And anyone that has been sexually abused can't, can, you know, affirm that you freeze up. You go in fight or flight or freeze. And mine happened to be freeze. And I used to have shame around that because the parents of the abusers would say, well, why didn't you stop them? Why didn't you walk away? But now I know that was my survival, that's how I survived. And so I'm proud of my 11 and 12 year old girl that froze. It's how she got through it. And the way I healed A lot of that was through plant medicine and a lot of inner child work, mdma, assisted therapy. But until I did that work that came out in a lot of dysfunctional ways. I was never. So typically when you have sexual abuse, you either lean towards extreme promiscuity, but you're really not there. You're not really in your body when you're doing it, or you lean towards being very prude and closing your body off and having walls up and flinching when you're touched. And that's what I leaned towards.

I have a question before. Jade, I don't want to interrupt, but I want to have a couple questions here.

Yeah.

You were experiencing as a child and a teen. Were you having talks with your parents about it? Were they trying to normalize it, or was it just something that was happening and you're witnessing and you weren't talking about?

There were no talks. Yeah, it was as if I wasn't there. Honestly, they were so deep in their own pain and in their own codependent abuse that there was. It was almost like there was a. No awareness that I was there. I was just a bystander. And, you know, I. I said that, you know, a friend laughed that it was like I was a sex coach at 4. Because the thing was, is I was copying what I was seeing with my dolls and with my friends. And so I was going and having these sexual experiences at 4 years old and 5 years old with my little girlfriends and with my dolls, and I was having orgasms. And that was also very confusing at.

That age as a child. Yeah, you don't really know what that even is.

Yeah. And, you know, I reached out and apologized to some of these girls after working through a lot of this. And I asked them, did someone. Was someone directing us to do these things? Because I was. So much of it was. So when you have trauma, so much of it is blacked out. So I was like, was there someone that was guiding us through this? And they were like, no, you were telling us what to do. And at first I felt so much pain and shame around almost that I inflicted this trauma on them. But then. And you know, that was a lot to work through on my own, but it was all that I knew it was all that I was seeing.

So did you relate that to love at all? Like, did your parents. Did you think of your parents as loving you and you were just more of a bystander, But I'm assuming they were feeding you, you had a place to sleep, you had things like that. Did you Think that was a way of showing love or did you not even understand what love was then?

Yeah. So for a long time I slept on the floor next to their bed and we definitely struggled with food, but they did their best. As far as what I thought love was, that's so deeply encoded as an infant at how our parent even looks at us. We're imprinted. If they smile when they look at us or if they look stressed, that's encoded in us. And so it starts so early. And my thoughts around love were it was a lot of screaming, it was a lot of violence, it was a lot of conflict, it was a lot of abandonment. And so for me growing up with that image, of course that dictated who my first lovers were. They were the ones who yelled at me, who hit me, who cheated on me. And the thing is, when you, when you learn to function in chaos and in abuse, your brain then tells you that you need that in order to function. And so there's a rewiring that needs to happen. And it takes really deep work. But a lot of people are afraid of the deep work. But what I, what I think a lot of people don't realize about the deep, so called dark work is that there's nothing that you're going to face that isn't already in your psyche. And so it's mostly about just removing the monsters from under the bed and facing them and realizing also that it's not as scary as we thought it would be. And you know, I brought us to the sexual abuse in the teens. And then at, you know, I left home, started leaving home around 10, started trying to commit suicide at 10. By 14, dropped out of school, was working two jobs, living on benches, living in the smoking section of restaurants and living in a car. And then at around 16, I got adopted by a really religious family. So you can imagine the whiplash there.

Yes. Okay, I have so many questions now. Okay, how did that happen from 14 to 16? Like, and what were your parents even checking on you? Were they involved at all? And how did this, how did you find this family or how did they find you?

Yeah, so my, I know that my mom, of course my birth dad, there was no contact. You know, he came, he got out of jail when I was 10 for like two weeks and got my hopes up really high. And I remember we went to the skating rink and we went to see Conair. And I remember just thinking like having really high hopes because he had gotten clean. You know, he'd been in prison and he was in the prison Ministry and so got really excited. And at this time, my mom was extremely physically and mentally emotionally abusive with me. And so when he came out and he seemed like he got it together, I thought basically it felt like I had a savior. And I was so excited and told him everything that was happening in my home. And he made it sound like. Like he was going to rescue me from it, that I was going to come live with him. And I remember the very next time I was supposed to go see him packing more than I would need for just the weekend, because I thought, well, now I can go live with him. And my mom came in the room and she laughed and said, you know, he's back in prison. Right. And my heart shattered. And I just thought, that's it. I'll never ever give him another chance. And it also though, that masculine wounding was projected onto all men at that. At that time. And I think I was 12, so.

I can imagine what you were thinking about motherly love too, that she's doing it sort of as this taunting and laughing at like, oh, don't. Didn't. You know.

Yeah. And she didn't know how to show up for me. She wasn't able to be vulnerable. She wasn't able to talk to me about my period. She wasn't able to do anything that involved emotional vulnerability. She was too wounded. And so her way of letting me know, because I'm sure she didn't want to seem. She didn't want to, like, open up emotionally or be there for me when I was going to need it. Her way of being able to deal with it was in that expression. Yeah, so it was. It was from pain. And so, yeah. Then at 14, you asked how that all happened. So of course he wasn't looking for me. He was in prison again. But my mom, that, you know, she. I know she called the cops the first time, and I know that she looked for me. And. And when she found out basically that I was staying with friends or staying with her ex boyfriend or staying with this family from the church, she kind of just waved the white flag, you know, like she knew that she had done enough damage, I think, and she knew that she couldn't handle me. She knew that. I think she knew that it was probably what was best for me.

She had comments of clarity that this was not a good arrangement for you. And it sounds like clouded clarity.

Yeah. And I think that she knew that I was gonna keep leaving because for me, living on the streets was safer than living at home because.

Did you have brothers and Sisters, Jade, or was it just you?

Yeah, I had a sister that was five years younger that was also in the same situation, running away a lot, and then a brother that was 10 years younger, and he was kind of half and half with my mom and his dad. And so his situation was completely different. Thankfully, my sister's story went down a completely different path. Luckily, you know, and that's why I'm so thankful that although the church did a lot of wounding, a lot of religious wounding, I'm so thankful that it was the church that took me off the streets, because who took my sister off the streets was basically like gang and drug dealers, and she had a much harder road to walk down.

So how did this family find you? That you said that it was religious and that kind of.

So I always had this deep connection to Jesus and this deep affinity for, like, I remember being kidnapped by my birth dad when I was a kid, like around 4 years old. And I remember being in the backseat and singing Jesus Loves Me because I had this knowing that there was a higher power that could protect me. And so I sang that. And it pissed him off so bad that he took me back and, like, dropped me at the gas station. In a sense, it did protect me, you know.

Yeah.

But I always had this really deep. And I'm not exactly sure where it came from, but I always had this deep reverence and inner knowing that God, that this higher power did have my highest good and was always protecting me. And so I never stopped praying through any of it. And when I was on the streets, so when I was like 15 and a half, I was so depressed. And I remember just thinking, like, I have no one to love, no one that loves me. I've basically become my parents. I've dropped out of school. I have nothing to live for. And I just. I didn't want to live. I didn't see the point. Like, what was the point? There was no love. And so. And basically depression is just a lack of hope in the future. And that's what I had, a lack of hope in my future. And so I cried out to God and I just said, if you can take this depression, I promise that I will do good with my life. I promise that I will help people. I promise that I won't hurt anyone. And I know that, you know, hurting people hurt people, healing people, heal people. So please, like, heal me, and I will go heal others.

You had that awareness at age 15. That's incredible.

Yeah, it's really interesting because it was even before that, but that Was the, I remember that as a pivotal moment and it was as if a vacuum came and sucked the depression out and I was in like a really.

Isn't that what Christianity says too? That when you sort of turn to Jesus or when you turn to God that, and surrender that that's what would happen? I mean, I don't, I don't know enough.

Yeah, basically like the old is made new and I have like an aversion to the word Christianity because there's just been so much damage in our culture from the Christian church. My spirituality is non dual. It's God is all in all, it's. Nothing can separate us from him. I connect to God in my orgasms. I connect to God when I'm cooking dinner for my children. Like in my spirituality. Nothing can separate me from God's love and the damage that I find in Christianity and a lot of Christian churches, not all is. What I experienced when I was adopted is basically there is a heaven or hell and if you don't measure up to this, you're going to hell. And I cannot, I cannot fathom a God that would send a homosexual to hell. Some of the most loving, most brightest lights in the world that I know are homosexual and a God that would send them to hell. That's not the God I serve. And, and you know, in that church there was a lot of, when I first got adopted, there was a lot of what they called deliverances which were basically exorcisms where they were casting demons out of me and other teenagers telling us that we had spirits of lust and of anorexia and bulimia and addiction and all these spirits and they would cast these out of us. But then they would tell us if you invite these back in, they're going to come back with seven friends and you'll be, yeah, you'll basically be possessed. And so I was in this, I was in this place where I had already had this deep inner knowing that I had this connection to God. But it then it became very like almost like someone spit in the water. Because now I had to live a certain way in order to be accepted by God. And if I didn't, not only was I going to be tormented by demons, but I was going to go to hell or maggots were going to eat my flesh. It was like very, very fear based and it never felt right.

It sounds like it initially gave you like a little bit of hope. Like, okay, this makes sense. Like it's going to cast some things out of me. I'm going to Be clear, I'm going to be free. And then you start getting filled up with this other stuff, and you're like, this is almost worse than before.

Yeah. And it was really, you know, I had such a large worthiness wound as a child, being beaten by my parents and seeing the abuse they had on each other and as if I didn't exist. And then going into a church where my worthiness was found in my connection with God. And then. Then I find out I have to work for the worthiness. And also I. My own intuition wasn't allowed because intuition is basically just source. You know, it's basically just, you know, it's us connecting to source and hearing our own inner voice, which is our higher knowing is basically God. And I in that, in that church, in that religion, I wasn't allowed to hear that. I was only allowed to hear that from my authority.

Yes. Because they say that that's the demonic and that's the. That's. That's what they say. Yeah.

And so there. But the intuition is the feminine. So. So it was also the suppression of the feminine. It was very patriarchal and misogynistic. And so there was that wounding. And. And then. So you asked how they found me. I'll go back to that for a second before I close off the story with them. I was, you know, when. When I felt that depression sucked out of me, I was living in. Partly in the backseat of my car in Dallas, and the car barely worked, so I left that there and I took a Greyhound bus to San Antonio because I had. Before I left Dallas, I had attended this youth group where the man that was the pastor was like, to me, the dream dad. He was the dad I could have. I would have always wished for. And so also when he would speak, he would cry when he would speak. And to me, that vulnerable emotion that was never shown in my parents. It was like, for me, I was like craving that from someone. And then also I felt the Holy Spirit there. When I would sing, when I would worship, I would feel the Holy Spirit. So when I felt that depression sucked out of me, it was like, ding, that's where I need to go, because I told you I'd serve you, so now I'm going to go there. So I Greyhound busted down there, partly hitchhiked. And, you know, there's so many thoughts around God's protection there because I hitchhiked across Texas on Interstate 35, which is the most known highway in America for sex trafficking. And I hitchhiked dozens of times on that highway. And always ended up okay. And even when a guy. Even when I got myself into a pickle, I ended up okay. And so, you know, I greyhound it down to San Antonio, went to that youth group, got enrolled in the Youth Homeless association. And so did you already know about.

This or you found out as you got there?

I found out as I got there. And so the Youth Homeless association, you know, paid for my school supplies, paid for me to go to night school, summer school, so that I can catch up and graduate on time. And. But I'm still living with friends that are on drugs and have also dropped out of school, or I'm living. And I got this little Ford Festiva that I was living in the back of that I bought it for, like, 750. And I was working at Chuck E. Cheese. And so I'm in this Bible study at school that meets Wednesday mornings, and I'm working at Chuck E. Cheese. And not the youth pastor that I dreamed of having as a father, but the assistant youth pastor walked into Chuck E. Cheese one day, and I said, oh, my God, it'd be so great if you could speak at my Bible study at school. I think that it would be such a light and so transformative. And he was like, yeah, just give me your phone number. And I was like, oh, well, I don't have a phone number. Could you just show up? And he was like, what do you mean you don't have a phone number? And I didn't tell him I was homeless because I was ashamed of it. But I said, well, because I was also staying in the back of this restaurant called Jim's. I was like, I'm staying with my friend Jim, but if you could. If you could just show up Wednesday at 7, that'd be great. And so he showed up. I think he noticed that I was, like, in the same clothes that day. And like, you know, all the other times he's seen me at the youth group. And then we run into each other at the youth group again, and he says, hey, you know, the Holy Spirit, God told me that I'm supposed to take you home with me and my wife. You're. We're supposed to take you in. And I said, oh, no, no, I'm staying with my friend Jim tonight. And, like, he'd be worried if I didn't come there. And he's like, well, God told me that I'm supposed to take you home tonight. And I do what God says, so you're. You're coming home with us? And I was like, okay, you Know, not really sure what to think. And then I go home, and I go home with them. He's living on an air force base. And they prayed me with me that night. They drove me all the way to school the next day, which was like almost an hour away. And after school, asked me how school was, prayed with me again. And it was just the most. It was the safest I had ever felt.

Wow.

It was the safest I'd ever felt. And I remember going to school and telling my friends, I think I met, like real life angels. These, like this couple took me off the streets and they were praying with me like it was. It was absurd to me at the time. And, you know, they gave me my own room and to me, because they had. They had given me so much. And because they seemed to truly care to me, anything they told me I was willing to do because in my heart, they wanted what was best for me. Otherwise, why else would they do all of this? And I truly do think that they wanted what was best for me and that they do think that they were doing God's work. But there was just a very skewed. It was just a very skewed version of it. It was very controlling and dogmatic. And, you know, I. I wasn't allowed to really do anything outside of church activities. And I wasn't. I wasn't really allowed to be me. And at 17, you know, I started having crushes. And I was basically told that I could only have a crush on my future husband and that they would. We would know when that, when that came. And at around 18 or 19, they said, they, you know, they pointed out a man that was a golden hearted man, very handsome, very moralized, wonderful man. I have nothing wrong to say of this man. And they pointed out this man and said, you know, basically God told us that this is the one for you. And I didn't. There was no hesitation on my end. So I don't like to say that it was an arranged marriage because I thought I struck gold. I was like, oh, my God, he's hot. He would never hit me. He's a man of God. Hell, yeah, I'll marry this guy. And I truly believe that if I said no, there would have been backlash. I would have been in trouble. Who knows what would have happened? But I could have said no if I wanted to. But they basically set up our first date. It was. You could hold hands in a month.

You can see each other telling you how to date. Yeah.

And they were on our first date with us. Yeah, you can hold hands in a month. You can see each other once a week in public settings only. And basically, like, we could kiss in a year and a half at our altar. Like, it was very, very controlled. And, you know, that man was a really good man. He was very. He was very conditioned by the church. So, you know, this church, I wasn't allowed to go to college because I. My. I would have to ask permission from my authority for a woman to go to school. It sounds like this was long ago, but it wasn't. It was, you know, 15 years ago.

Churches like that, too. I know of that.

Yeah. And so they wouldn't let me go to college because they said it would take away from the kingdom of God. Well, then when I married Phil, he gave me permission, so I went to college. And that was kind of when my bubble popped because I was like, oh, my God, like, women were talking about. I remember making this one friend, this girlfriend, and my weight training class, and she was, like, telling me about the date she was going on. And then in my acting class, I had this best friend, Mikey, who's still a good friend of mine, who was gay and just so loving. And I had been taught to stay away from the gays, you know? And I remember when I told my ex husband, I didn't mean to say his name, but at least. At least I didn't say his last name. When I told my ex husband that. That my theater partner was gay, he was like, well, that Satan's child. Like, you can't be around him. And that's when, like, bubbles started to pop.

Yeah.

Oh, wait. Like, I'm just doing all the things I'm being told to do. I'm not doing anything that I want to do. And then when the bubble really popped is when I saw the Notebook and I was like, what? Like, this is what I'm missing out on. Like, I want this. And then I saw a documentary called Invisible Children about the child soldiers in Uganda. And that rocked my world. That one documentary, Invisible Children, changed the rest of my life because not only did I realize that there were so many children experiencing so much trauma, but I realized that church wasn't doing God's work, wasn't sitting in church. It was going and helping those kids. And I wanted to do God's work. I wanted to do that. And when I told the church that they weren't, they were not supportive of it because they just wanted to do what added, like, to the kingdom of God. But, like, they. So they didn't support this and so that's when I left. That's when I realized, like, what am I doing? Like, I'm not doing God's work and I'm not even doing anything I want to do. And so I left there. I broke his heart. Sadly, I broke his family's heart. The church disowned me. It was really the only family feeling that I ever had. So it was really, really hard. And I got on a plane and I went to Uganda and I fell in love with all of these children and started petitioning on the behalf of them at the White House to try to get AIDS sent over to them. And that's where I met my best friend, Tom Shadiak, who wrote and directed Liar, Liar, Ace Ventura, Nutty professor, the documentary I Am is about him. And when I met him, that was when I had my first true mentor, my first true safe place. Because there was no agenda. There was no agenda. There was no ulterior motive. He loved me for me, and he wanted. If I was a book, he wasn't the one trying to hold the pen. He truly just wanted to read the book, like, study it. Do the dog ears have out the highlighter? Like, he wanted to know me. That was the first place I ever. Tom was the first place I ever experienced true, like, no agenda type of love. The first mentor I ever truly had. And because of that safety that was given to me, that was when I was able to truly step on the growth path and start to realize what my full expression was and what my original essence was.

And so, yeah, so fascinating to all of this. What a journey. What an incredible journey. So, gosh, I this way in a whole different direction than I was expecting, but such a powerful story. And I just love hearing what you walked through and just the different. How different those two situations were. It just all makes so much sense. How did you begin to heal? It sounds like the mentor opened up the door for this and you started really taking on yourself and what lights you up and how can you actually serve and how can you help people? What was next? Like, how did you get past and heal?

Because you.

You obviously couldn't just keep moving forward without healing the past. What did you do to start healing the past?

Yeah, so, you know, every time I was around Tom, I felt closer to God. And originally that's what I was seeking. And Tom had the non. Dual spirituality that I was able to. To plunge into of God is all in all. And that's when I started to realize that, like, I couldn't be separated from Him. And that alone made me feel more whole. That alone made me have more acceptance. But there was no way I would have been to heal any of this. And I'm not saying this is the only way. But for me, with my deep, deep trauma and suicidal tendencies and high anxiety, which anxiety is just an uprising of what needs to come to the surface with all of these things, for me, plant medicine was dire. Like, I'm not saying that I couldn't have done it just through therapy, but each time I did plant medicine, I did like three years worth of therapy.

Yeah, I can. I can attest to that. I've had those same experiences.

Yeah.

What's so interesting is the church you were in there. So that I know that types of. The types of teaching you're talking about, they're so anti that they think it's so the opposite. Why? I don't understand what the why that is like, because it does to me, a spiritually advance you as well.

Oh, it's a connection to Source completely. But the thing is, is a lot of people that are going to these churches don't realize that the church was founded on making sure that we weren't connected to Source because that's how they controlled us. And it's a hard pill to swallow. And I went through a very dark night of the soul when I realized and found out that so many things had been taken out of the Bible. The true story of Mary Magdalene, and so many things had been put into the Bible to cause men to fear women. The enticing of women, the Adam and Eve story that women entice men to sin, you know, and it's because of our power. And if we're all doing psychedelics and connecting to Source and becoming more empowered, we can't be controlled.

So good.

Yeah. And so my psychedelic journeys, I've done ayahuasca over 30 times. Mushrooms and huachuma, maybe a dozen. But honestly, for people who don't want to take that type of medicine, if that feels too scary, Doing MDMA assisted therapy, where a person trained in trauma, and I hold space for this with my clients, a person trained in trauma who has done this work themselves, when they can hold space for you on mdma, it can be profoundly healing. I had more sexual trauma healed in that with a man named Eric Gotzi. I highly recommend you can look on his website to learn more about trauma or listen to his interview he's got on his podcast, the Myths that Make Us. He dives into a trauma. Or you can read the book the Body Keeps the Score. That book, it's a very triggering book. But that book can give you a lot of knowledge around what MDMA can do for you and healing your trauma. But there's a rewiring of the brain that happens. And not only that, when you are reliving your trauma in a safe place with medicine that is rewiring your brain, the shift that happens, I don't know that it's possible outside of it. I'm also trained in tapping, in emotional freedom, tech, technique. There's also things like emdr. Both of those are very profound and very, very. Like, I want to say it's like 90% effective.

What's interesting. So I. I've done all those things too, myself, and I. And I'm somebody who has walls up for sure. And. And I will say I've done emdr, I've done hypnosis, I've gone to church, all the things, and there's nothing that has touched my surface. Like, crack that wall. Like medicine, like you're talking about? Yeah, like, literally, it's like all those things, the emd, like, I think for some people, if they are already don't have those walls up or they've already done those things can be amazing. But I know if you've got a really strong wall up, a lot of history, a lot of trauma, that type of thing, it sometimes could take those things to help break that down. So you even know where you're supposed to go. Because, for instance, like, now I know in a meditation where I need to go. But I wouldn't have even understood that had I never done plant medicine.

Right. And people I know are weary with plant medicine. And the thing is, it is sacred. It's a sacred medicine. So we should approach it with fear. We should approach it, but fear as in reverence. We shouldn't take it lightly. But I think sometimes people confuse that fear with hesitance, like I said earlier, with the trauma, with diving into your psyche. On psychedelics, there is nothing that you will face that is not already in you. So don't you want to get it out? Don't you want to heal it for you, for your children, for your partner? And so I want to mention that because there is a lot of fear around psychedelics. But I do think we should have a healthy fear, because this is not stuff that we need to be doing alone, without a grounding cord, as in a person who's holding space, who's trained in this or that, we access this medicine from some random person on Facebook. That we don't know what intentions they had when growing it. We need to make sure that when we're acquiring medicine, that it's been prayed into by a trained shaman and that someone is holding space for us as a grounding cord. Because we are going out there, we're going into the astral planes, and there has to be someone there that is able to offer healings and to ground you through shamanic song and prayer and ikaros. And so I do want to mention that with plant medicine, because I know that there's one or the other. There's people who take it a little too lightly, and then people who take.

It well and who's serving it. What you said there is is really important. The intention behind it, how that. What their training is. Because I think I could definitely go south with the wrong person administering.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh, this is so much. I'm gonna have to have you on a second episode because I have so many other things I want to ask you in a whole different topic here, but this is amazing.

Okay.

What I want to do, if you're okay with it, I want to. I want to sort of circle back to just how you made this, how you help others now with this. Because you walk through some healing, and now you help others. What does that look like? Because there's somebody listening right now. I'm sure that's thinking, wow, I had all that trauma. I've never really navigated it. I haven't dealt with it. What does it look like to even work with someone like you or to. I mean, that's scary for people. They've been hiding this. They've had a lot of shame around it. They've had a lot of stories around it.

Yeah. So typically when I work with people, I. It's mandatory that we. That they're signed up for four sessions because this is not quick and easy work, and it's a commitment. And the first session, it doesn't feel like we're doing any work, but really what we're doing is just removing walls and building trust. Because in order to heal, there has to be trust and safety. That's number one. There has to be safety. And so many people that have trauma don't know what that feels like. So that's my first session is always providing that and developing that type of. Of relationship. And then typically in the second session and, you know, after these four sessions, the sky's the limit. We did. We go all over the place. I teach people how to have multiple orgasms. I teach men how to turn on their woman. I teach, you know, how to. How to become more integral. You know, like it's all over the place. How to connect to your guides, you know, your ancestors, things like that. But in the second session, it's always imago work, because imago, you know, relational trauma can only be healed in relationship. It's not. It's so easy to be single. It's so. I love being single. It's so easy because no one's holding up a mirror to us. No one's triggering us, but that is where we have opportunity to heal. And so, you know, my current partner has, you know, my spirituality can feel really scary for him because he has the dogmatic type spirituality that that church had. So that's a big trigger for me. And so that's more opportunity for me to heal it. It's also more opportunity for him to heal his relationship with Source and not making God small. And so that's just a little example. But relational trauma can only be healed in relationship. Our woundings with our mother and with our father can only be healed in relationship. Yes, we can touch it in psychedelics and in therapy, but it's going to resurface constantly in relationship. And so that's our number one opportunity to heal it. And until we heal it, we're going to keep attracting partners that trigger those deepest, darkest wounds. So for me, until I did imago work, I was attracting partners who constantly lied to me, who cheated to me, cheated on me, who verbally abused me. I basically was recreating the story and scenario of my childhood. Why? Because that's what was familiar and that's what I knew, and that's what love felt like to me. It was safe because that's what home was. That's what I thought I needed to function. And in doing that, I also was trying. I was codependent trying to heal these partners because my inner child was still wanting to heal my parents. Imago work is basically, I lead people through an exercise to basically figure out what their triggers and traumas and woundings are with their parents so that they can recognize what their hidden agenda is in relationships, what they're really trying to get validated, what they're really trying to get healed and what their triggers are so that now when their triggers pop up, they can say, oh, this is a pain body. This is historical. I need to take a breath. This is an opportunity to heal. And it's really, really freaking hard work. I've been doing this work for 12 years now. Maybe at least 10. And I still have to really work hard at it when I get triggered. So that's imago work basically is realizing where we're projecting our parents onto our partners, where we're seeking out healing through our partners and why we're attracted to the people that we are. And once we gain an awareness of that, we're able to change what we're attracted to. And so that's imago work. That's the second. And it doesn't mean that you're necessarily going to change partners if you're not married. Sure, you change who you're dating and it becomes revolutionary. But if you're married and you're committed to a certain partner, it changes how you relate. It changes especially how you relate in conflict. It also changes what you stand for. It changes your boundaries because you're no longer codependent on that need of that boundary being crossed. That's the second session and it's really, really deep work. I think that that's truly where the clients because in the first session it's more relational between me. The second session, that's when the clients are like, oh, wow, yeah, there's a lot here to work with. I didn't real like a lot of them didn't even realize they had trauma until doing this.

Totally.

There was a 50 year old man that I worked with that had trauma from a child, from childhood, that he had never spoken out loud until that session because he didn't even realize it was there. And so that's the second session and then the third session is basically now that you're aware of that, like deciding what you're available for not only in your life, but in your relationship, what type of parent you want to be, and using both of those together. The fourth session is typically where we do a lot of inner child work through some really deep meditations. I know that meditations don't seem like they can go that deep, but these go really, really deep. And we involve the tapping and for clients who wish we could also involve mdma. So that's always an option. But yeah, those are the four foundational. And then after that we connect to our sexuality and that comes up in all of those. But we connect more to our sexuality and becoming more, being able to be more expressed communications, attachment styles, all of the things dependent on what came up in that is where we go from there.

So good, Jade. I learned so much today. I just had no idea, just even by looking at your stuff before, I had no idea, no idea where all of this came from. And it just makes so much sense. And this was just. I know today what you shared is so powerful, and I know that there are people listening, that this is helping them release their shame and realize that there's. There's hope that they can turn things around and they can actually help others with what they've been through. And I really do believe pain becomes purpose. And clearly this is definitely what's happened with you.

Yeah.

I'm going to have to have you back on a second episode if you're open to it, because I have so many other things in a whole nother direction I want to ask you about, but this was just so amazing. Where can people find you if they want more right now? Or they're like, I would know. I want to work with you. I need to learn more. I've got to know more about your life. Where should they go?

Yeah, so I'd say the easiest way. Just because Instagram gets so crazy, the easiest way is just to email me. It's jadebricemail.com so my name, jadebricemail.com I have my podcast Untamed and Unashamed, which gets really woo woo. But if you can. What I tell people is chew up the meat, spit out the bones, like, take what works for you and leave what doesn't. So there's that. And then. And we talk a lot about sexual healing and inner child work on the podcast. And then my Instagram is at the Jade Bryce. I am a very expressed feminine and that can be really triggering for some people. But I can just say that, you know, that has been a huge part of my healing that, you know, I went through the rebellion stage of living at the Playboy Mansion and all of that. It came from a place of rebellion. And then I went to a place of reclamation and healing and liberation, and that's where I'm at now. So if you can, you know, look past what may be triggering and see that this is my liberation and this is my healing. And what I hope to inspire people there is to feel all emotions and especially pleasure, because I know we didn't get into it, but I make sure to orgasm every single day. And I always say, an orgasm a day. I know you're all about health, the doctor away and the worries at bay. And if we can be in our pleasure, that's another way that we can't be controlled because we're coming from a place of bliss. And so we're empowered in our pleasure and there's so much around that. So we can talk about that.

Thank you so much, Jade. This was so good. Thank you. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to listen in as my guest today. If you found this episode valuable, please share it with friends and on social media. I don't advertise this show, so I rely on word of mouth and reviews to get it out in the world. The biggest thank you that you can give me is leaving me a review, and a nice one. I hope. By the way, this is how others find these episodes. If you do leave me a review, be sure to Message me@supportnataliejillfitness.com with a screenshot of your review because I would love to send you a free digital download of my DSR journal as a thank you. And please don't forget to connect with me on social media. Natalie Jillfit On Instagram and Facebook.

Sat.