Building Sustainable Success w. Jessica Marx

I'll get invited to go somewhere, speak at something, and I get that gut feeling and I will say no every single time. I don't challenge it. I don't try to justify it. I just say, nope, it's not a good fit for me right now.

Hello and welcome back. My name is Bunny Young, serial entrepreneur, retired stuntwoman, mother of 3 beautiful kids, and builder of a life that I don't need to escape from. Here we are on season 2 of the Yes And podcast, and this season we're diving even deeper with the most incredible difference makers and entrepreneurs who are breaking barriers, building empires, and designing lives and companies their way. And the best part of this is that they're here to share all of the how and the strategy with you. And so today I've brought on a woman that I could only describe as an influential powerhouse. And Jess, well, Jessica Marks is here. I'm gonna refer to her as Jess because we just got to know each other in a mastermind that we are in. And I went and read her bio of her being the founder of Tailored Premier, 5-time Forbes Business Advisor, podcast host, investor, mom to twins, fellow Southern Californian. And without knowing all of that, when you guys meet her, she just has the best heart and so aligned. And so caring and so like willing to offer all of her gifts to you guys. So I knew that she had to be here on our podcast today. So we're gonna talk about her journey as a business strategist, her insights on building sustainable growth while being in alignment, and how she's empowering others to redefine success.

Jess, great to see you.

Welcome to the SEN Podcast.

Wow, that was the most amazing intro. Thank you, Bunny Young. And I felt the same way. I think we've had the honor of being in so many incredible rooms and there's certain individuals when they just walk in, you can feel that energy. And with you, I, it was like a magnet. And so I'm really excited that we get to have this conversation today and share it with your listeners too.

I love and receive that. And that's something that I think I'm realizing more and more is one of my superpowers. And to dive right into it, that comes from doing your work, right? That comes from what we were talking about offline in this clarity of what's in alignment and what's not. And I think that what you're sharing is that our relationship is in alignment. And I have walked into so many rooms of women who are drawn to what they describe as my calmness. And I think for many years we haven't attuned to that, especially as moms and especially as business owners. What we're attuned to is the chaos, like is the dumpster fires.

It is.

And so I think that that's just such a beautiful thing to recognize, and I receive that, and I believe in my heart of hearts that that's also me mirroring that for you.

I think where I wanna lean into what you just said, that's so important because this isn't something that I realized until later, was what a strong skillset calm— yeah, being able to be calm and be regulated. And honestly, it took me having a son with autism with severe dysregulation and big emotions and to realize that if I reacted or I didn't stay calm, the situation just exploded, right? And although I always thought I was somebody that was very emotionally regulated through situations, he's taught me so much. And I'd like to think that calmness starts to wear off on our teams, on our friends, on other individuals in our lives when we're able to handle something with such peace.

One of this, this has nothing to do with what's on my notes and what the questions that I'm supposed to be asking you. So we're going off script in like record time here. It's just so amazing how intertwined our lives have been, even though we've really only known each other for— I guess in May it'll be a year. I want to jump back into the position with all of the teams that you were running, responsible for $150 million worth of— you, you describe this.

Yes, so I got involved in a startup in 2009, very small, with a huge dream, right, of the founders. And the short version is, is that between 2009 and 2015, we grew it to an evaluation of over $8 billion. We went from 13 of us to almost 5,000 of us. We were in all 50 states and Puerto Rico. And when we made that acquisition, I was overseeing our entire national sales division. And corporate strategy of the commercial side of the business. So I was in a very unique role, which would have only happened in a startup. I, I couldn't go and get this role unless you're a CEO in charge of commercial operations and the entire national sales team, right? We had over 500 reps, but because we had such quick growth and I had one foot in corporate and one foot out in the field with our sales reps, it just made sense that as we grew, I still oversaw both of those divisions at the company. I reported directly to the CEO, and then post-acquisition stayed on for a 2-year deal with their multiple CEOs, different boards. Phenomenal experience, but not calm by any means.

If we're on the topic of calm, it was not calm.

It was a very fast-paced environment. We were first to market. Healthcare is a beast in and of itself, which I know you know. And so with that type of growth, you are— you're dealing with multiple different types of personalities, but you're also dealing with very extreme situations. We had DOJ investigations, whistleblower lawsuit. I mean, the things that I had to deal with and navigate on a daily basis are something that most CEOs won't experience in their lifetime unless they've been part of, you know, these Fortune 500 companies. And so it was such an incredibly unique experience, but also one that allowed me to, once I left the company and had my twins, reflect on, now I get to do it differently. Yeah. And I get to build it my way. I love corporate. I don't call myself a corporate dropout. I don't have this ill will. I think corporate is great for the majority of the people, should be in more of a corporate type role, but I knew that as I built my own firm and these next companies that I was going to be building and investing in, I couldn't go back to the lifestyle I was living then. I'm a mom now. And so I really had to establish those boundaries.

There's two avenues that I wanna carve into. One is this aspect that's not yes and where we feel like we have to choose, you know, we have to choose the money and the corporate and the career. Or the kids. And I think that that's shifting, and I hope that it shifts even more in corporate. But I see that, you know, doing organizational psych and doing wellbeing in the workplace work within A Better Place Consulting, I see that a lot of women feel like they have to choose or like they're missing out on opportunities because the deals are made in the cocktail hours and all of this kind of stuff. And The bigger question, stepping into owning your own firm, building your own firm, becoming an entrepreneur, was there ever a moment where you're like, what am I thinking?

No. And I think that I just have a very different perspective than most people that are starting a company or leaving corporate. I understand business so well. I know what a company is capable of, and I know that it heavily relies on what the founder has as fund— as business fundamentals and what their goals are and how aligned they are with the company and where they can take it. And so I understood it would've been a much harder yes for me to agree to sign on the dotted line for a lot of companies that were having headhunters reach out to me to then go run SVPs or to be a chief sales officer. That would've been a much harder yes for me. Because at that point in my life, no amount of money could get me to go back into that.

Yeah.

I went through 6 rounds of IVF while I was a corporate executive, and I look back now and the reason it never happened was because I couldn't have been yes, the executive and yes to the mom. There was no way that would've never worked. I was working 100 hours a week. We were building this thing. It was all hands on deck. And so everything aligned to where I was able to walk away when I went on maternity leave and have my 2 years be up. That was a new type of chaos, right? That was the chaos of having newborn twins. And so there was no way I was gonna add this layer of chaos in starting a company. And so I was able to do it in a very strategic way. And I'll bet on myself every single time. Where I just think a lot of people have one foot in, but maybe I'll go back. Or I want this dream, but I don't really wanna work hard all of the time.

Yes.

So I just understood that the mountain I was about to build could never be as big as the mountain I just got off of, and I didn't need it to be, and I didn't want it to be.

Yeah.

And so how could I do it while enjoying the hike?

I love that you said that. I mean, you just put into words what I felt and feel. I know I am the highest return on my investment 100% of the time. I was also raised by entrepreneurs. I'm a third-generation entrepreneur, so it's something that I grew up in. And I want to know from you where that acumen, where that sense, where that intuition came from. Is it something that you built? Is it something that Is it something that you were born with?

So I think that a lot of people meet me now at the stage I'm in, in my life, and they say, you're so confident. I don't have that kind of confidence. Or you're so assured in the decisions that you make. And it wasn't always like that. I had a very, very difficult childhood. And once I left to go to college, there was no way I was coming back. I was willing to do whatever it was. And that's why the day I graduated college, I got a job in commercial real estate. I didn't know anything about real estate. I didn't want to do real estate, but I knew I could lease these luxury apartments and make more money than any other job I went to go get. And so I just hustled and I worked every weekend. And then that's how the opportunity to go to this healthcare company started. I just was so determined to build something different than what I had grown up in. And I had a single mom that, you know, struggled and I just thought I never want to get myself in a situation like that. So even now, I try to remind our clients that it's like this new level, new devil, right? So as you grow and scale a company, your $5 million problems are going to be different than your $20 million problems. But those $5 million problems you have, if you really learn from them and navigate them, do all the research around why that happened and how could we prevent it, you go into a $20 million problem a lot more confident and a lot more calm because you've been there and you've done that. And I think that now where I'm at in my life, I've navigated so many deals and so many business issues and strategies and all the things, and then personal, really heavy personal stuff as well. I've invested a lot into personal development, but I am night and day difference who I was 20 years ago. I probably had very little to no confidence. Yeah.

Yeah. And I love what you said about building the foundation and building the tools because I currently own 9 companies. And when we were at MFC and these women are like, how do you do it? Well, there's a difference between when you're starting and scaling your first company. And like you said, you're putting your hours, you're trading that time for money versus when this is now on my 16th company. I'm not my company. My worth is not tied up in the company's success, which actually gives me a level of bandwidth and freedom to really step back and make the best decisions for the company in alignment with the company not needing me. I think subconsciously for me, I can only speak for me, but it's also true for a lot of the clients that I coach. We build our companies in the way of dependence where it's almost like we want our company to need us to feel needed. And I distinctly remember my daughter, who's now 13, making decisions in my company after having her and coming back from a very short maternity leave. Because Jess, I knew when I was confident in what I was doing in business, but I was a brand new mom and I didn't know what to do as a brand new mom. And I also didn't know what success looked like. So it's almost like I built my company in a way that it needed me. And I gave myself an excuse to go deeper into my company because I was more confident as a businesswoman than I was as a mom at that time. And so I'm grateful though, like what you said about the $5 million to the $20 million headaches. I'm grateful that I learned that lesson and that it didn't negatively impact my daughter. And I learned it relatively quick to say, oh, if I'm not confident in this area of my life, I can use the tools from this other area of my life to build the confidence. I don't know if you had that experience, but I definitely did.

Well, I try to reframe it for our clients. You know, a lot of the individuals we work with are parents. They're either a mom or a dad. And I said, if you poured into your child for 18 years and then they looked at you and they're like, I'm not going anywhere, I don't wanna get a job, I don't wanna do anything, I just wanna sit on the couch.

Mm-hmm.

You would feel like you failed, right? It's the same for a company. It's like if you can't nurture this to where it's off and it's running and it's thriving and it starts its own life and it has other opportunities, then you are failing as a business owner. Because if you look at the top companies in the world, the founders barely step foot into them or they're no longer involved. And so I do think that Part of it is understanding that your worth is not tied to the company. And I actually look at that as a devaluation in company if the founder is in the weave. But also that what is the ripple impact has on your life to be so immersed in the company that your kids suffer, your marriage suffers, your friendships, your relationship with your parents, your financials. I mean, it has this massive impact that can be very hard to rein in if you've built this thing that you don't trust anybody else to help you with. Yeah.

And as you and I have talked about a little bit, that's also a projection of your level of trust in you. And the weekend that I just came out of with my, my own mastermind group, we were having this conversation where I can't trust my number 2, and what you're really saying is if you can't trust your operations manager, your director of operations, who hired them?

Yeah.

Who made that decision? And so that, that comes back to you, which gives us a great kind of segue into going into something deep and juicy, which you said you were willing to do.

Yes. Yeah.

So I think that the first, I don't know, let's say 14 years of my entrepreneurship journey was very masculine in the aspect of not necessarily men. Um, although I was surrounded by a lot of men in kind of the corporate strategy that we were doing and the strategic planning that we were doing. What I have seen the most growth in myself, the most amount of abundance and the most amount of having it all without having to do it all is actually in a different area. Of leaning in, and it was not in the strategy. It's actually in the energy. It's actually in the feminine. And so something that you and I played with last time that we were in person together was this woo energy and this thing that is not talked about in business, that is the energetics of business, that is the alignment. It is personal development, but it's also beyond the talk therapy. And I can say that coming from being retired therapist in the aspect that it's what you and I were talking about below the iceberg, which the top of the iceberg's that mental, emotional, behavioral. Below the iceberg is the things that's stored in your body. It's the subconscious, it's the unconscious, and how much that leads to success or lack of success. And I think it ties into what you were saying with confidence. You didn't necessarily learn how to be confident in like a step-by-step manner. What you did was you allowed yourself to really embody this woman who is now fully confident and maybe not 100% of the time because you know, nobody is. Yeah. However, now like you, you exude this and that's what we started our conversation offline is to be the person that walks in the room and shifts the energy is not something you do, it's who you are, and it's an embodiment. And so I don't know if you're willing to go down that kind of rabbit hole and share a little bit about how that experience was with you getting a pendulum and learning pendulum work live.

Yes, and I will say, I think that for those who maybe aren't there yet, you might see others that walk into a room, because I felt the same thing. I felt the connection with Bunny was magnetic, right? The— even the first night I saw you walk in, I'm a dog lover. I saw the dog, I just wanted to cuddle. But like, her level of confidence and calm coming into the room, and I think if you're not there yet, you see other people that this, and you think that it's almost like persona that they show up with when they walk into these rooms. And I think Bunny and I can both agree it's something like we don't even think twice about at this point. Like, we're just walking into a room, however it goes, it goes. It is what it is. You know, we're open to whatever happens. It's a really great place to be because I'm never having these like inner conversations of, do I walk in slow? Do I walk in fast? Do I say hi? Do I not say hi? Do I sit at this table? Do I sit at that? I'm just like going for it. I don't even think twice about it. And I do think it takes some time to get to a place like that. And I'm sure that there are still rooms that I go in or there's still certain times that I've met people that I probably should or could get nervous, but I've also had the honor of meeting a lot of high-powered individuals, and I know they are just like you and me. They get nervous about certain things. There's certain places they don't want to be at, but they have to go. If you can just really learn that everybody is human, we're all figuring this out together, and everybody's got their own story and their own— what does success look like? What does confidence look like? I mean, it's different to everybody.

Yeah.

And so just kind of reminding yourself that it's not you trying to be somebody else or to put on this act or show. It's you just really getting to be who you are.

Yeah.

So that kind of takes us to, we're at the Red Skarletton in Tucson and we're outside talking and I am the first to admit that I had never heard about manifestation. I had never heard the term woo. I had heard about a lot of this stuff, like a lot of the modalities that people are using right now. I was in a very male-dominated industry and I grew up in a very strict Lutheran household, wooden pews. It was black or white, like this is the story, this is how it happened. And so I have learned and I've opened up a lot to what our clients are using and women in my network. Some of it does feel uncomfortable, and I like that, right? I don't want to just live my whole life doing things the same way. And so you ran to the spa and bought me a pendulum, and I was so taken aback because the fact that we came from a hike, we're trying to get to the next conference, that you took the time to do that just meant so much. And it was interesting because one of my life coaches a month earlier had said, based off my Human Design or whatever, you have a very difficult time receiving. You need to learn to receive. She's like, what would you do if your husband came home with— I can't remember what— again, I'm like, I would freak out. Absolutely not.

Return that.

We're not doing that. I don't want to take from anybody. And so she's like, I want you to work on this. So when you brought that to me, all I could hear was her in my head saying, say thank you, say thank you, just receive it. Somebody wanted to do this for you. And it was uncomfortable for me.

So can I expand on that a little bit in this thank you? I want to ask a follow-up question, but I also wanna give you a tool if you're open for it.

Yeah. Oh, of course.

So we just got back from the Costa Rica retreat and we were developing what I call common language for success. And I think especially as women, we are conditioned where if you do something for me and I say thank you, like that feels very transactional.

Yeah.

It feels almost out of obligation. And I was playing with this with my husband too, because if you tell your husband I love you, what does he say back?

I love you too.

It's like programmed. It almost turned into robotic. And so in Costa Rica, we developed this common language for success, meaning that you can say anything other than thank you. Okay. So I receive that. I appreciate you thinking of me. I'm honored. But you see how this is already a pattern interrupt that triggers the brain to say, oh, we are doing something different. We're traveling a different neurological pathway. We are gonna create some new synapses here. And so you're immediately going from the top of the iceberg down to the bottom of the iceberg and rewiring and refiring. And so when my husband says, I love you, it's so fun. It's honestly just so fun because he's a huge Star Wars nerd. And so one of the things that I started telling him, and this is from Star Wars, I have tried to watch all of the films. I'm not the best at this. But there's this scene where I can't even tell you his name. He tells the woman, I love you. And she goes, I know. And it's a big thing. And so my husband will be like, I love you. And I'm like, I know. And it's so fun. It's uncomfortable at first, but it's also, it's to play in it. And you're shifting the energy around this situation. So while I see your life coach, I wanna raise your life coach in receiving with a pattern interrupter so you can say anything other than thank you.

Yeah, I love that. I'm gonna practice that.

How does that feel in your body?

I'm gonna drop the I know on Garrett tonight.

I know. Message me and let me know how that goes.

I will.

So The other aspect of that, thank you for being able to lean into that. I do really appreciate kind of being able to bring the tools and the how into this of the behind the scenes of that experience. And what's interesting to me is you talked about receiving the pendulum being the most difficult part of that moment. You didn't talk about the next 15 minutes taking up the entire table to learn how to use the pendulum and having the spotlight on you as these women start to turn their eyes, their ears, their attention over to lean into what is this. And can you kind of take us back to that moment and describe how that was?

Yes. So as more women came and sat down at the table, and we had another woman who had been talking a lot about this prior, she was there too and got to witness it, is that you then started educating us on How does this work and why does this work and how we could lean into it and how we could train our bodies and our minds. And so I think in that moment there's certain individuals that have been like so nervous. Everybody's watching. We'll do a little sneak peek. My pendulum wouldn't swing.

By the way, it wouldn't, but it did.

Yeah, it eventually did, but it just sat there. I think most people would've gotten so nervous of, well, everybody's watching.

Is this embarrassing?

You know, they're all asking questions. It's not working. Working, where to me I thought, this is so cool that Bunny is taking the time out of her day to sit down in the middle of this room at this table at a conference, at a mastermind retreat, and teach all of us and be so open to honestly us not knowing anything about it and being so naive. And we felt like we could ask the questions And so I thought to myself, one, I was just blown away by you, but then I was also blown away by the experience of how cool is it that I get to be in these rooms with women like you and then the other women who instantly wanted to see what's going on. And they weren't afraid to ask questions, right? Because they have that level of confidence where they're okay being a beginner, they're okay learning something new. And it was a moment where the alignment comes in of this is where I belong. This is who I should be with. And these are the kind of relationships and women I wish everyone had exposure to.

Yeah. That's so beautiful, Jess, because without that confidence and without that willingness to go in with a beginner's mind, You could have easily shut that down. You could have easily said, "I'm not comfortable doing this." And the amount of women that messaged me directly after that, you opened up this curiosity and this permission, Jess, this really deep permission to explore our energy and explore the unknown. And I don't know if you remember what I said to you when the pendulum initially wouldn't first work. But it was very similar to what you said about your life coach, which is allow the energy to flow.

Yeah.

And then as soon as you did that, what happened with your pendulum?

We got a little bit of movement out of it. Yeah. Wild.

Yes. And there's the energy part of it. And I explained this to you, and I want everybody listening to know there's basically a pendulum. The pendulum work is connecting with your subconscious. That's really what it is. So when people ask me, you know, do you move it? Yes, is the answer. Your intuition, your subconscious guides these micro-muscular movements. This is my biased opinion, right? In the research that I've seen. Yes, you are the one who's moving it up and down and right and left and whatever that is. And you're working with your energy. It's a way for you though to tap into your intuition and tap into that deeper knowing and give yourself that permission that is more comfortable than me sitting here saying, Jess, what do you think? Yeah. And I also do this work you and I were talking about at that table was where is it in your body? Where did you feel that energy kind of stuck in your body? Because so often I think in business what we do is we go up to our minds. And we run these marathons in our minds, and we forget that our minds are less than 20% of our power. In fact, our consciousness is less than 5% of our operating system. And so by dropping into that, that's where you talk so much about alignment and sustainability. I feel like I'm able to do so much more in life and make such a bigger impact without burning myself out. Because I'm actually accessing 100% of myself.

Yeah.

And building a holistically aligned business versus doing all of it from my mind. And I'm curious how much of that has been your experience as well when you say building a sustainable business or building an aligned business.

I do think it's exceptionally important. So we at our firm only work with 7 and 8-figure founders, and there's a reason for that. And it's not just revenue, but we have found that by the time most business owners are in that multimillion dollar revenue threshold, that they've invested substantially in themselves. So yes, they've been in masterminds. Yes, they've done business coaches, but they've also invested in who they are, and that's how they're able to get there. I think a lot of people get stuck in six figures because they haven't worked on themselves personally. They haven't done the personal development. They haven't uncovered trauma or gotten through money mindset or whatever it may be. And so that continuously holds them back or they hustle harder and get the same result. So for us, we have found that in working in these revenue thresholds, they've done a lot of this. And so we can have conversations where we're mapping out strategy or we're talking numbers, and they know instantly if it aligns or it doesn't align. And we build companies off of two things: the founder and the offer suite. So when we're coming in and auditing a company, the whole first half hour that we spend on the phone with them, that initial call, is, what do you want? What are your goals? What's important in your life? And I say this all the time, but if I have somebody 45 and owns a marketing agency and says, I have 3 kids, they're in high school, they're all athletes, I want to enjoy these last couple years, they're getting ready to go to college. I'm very busy and I really need to limit my schedule to Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday in while they're at school so I can be available to travel to away games or whatnot. But then we also have a marketing agency owner that's 29, single, no kids, and says, I'm willing to work 80 hours a week so I can get this to $10 million and go to acquisition. That strategy is going to be completely different, and we want to make sure it aligns with what their lifestyle is and their goals are and the amount of hours that they want to be working. And so it is so important that if you can't articulate to me what it is that you want personally in your life and how you want this business to be a vehicle and an asset for that to be able to happen, then chances are we can't get you there. And so I just think that the mindset and the intuition is so important. I am very intuitive when it comes to making decisions. I can make a decision in an instant. I just know if it's a good decision based off of all of the things that I've done. I'm always preparing myself for these decisions, but instantly I'll get invited to go somewhere, speak at something, and I get that gut feeling and I will say no every single time. I don't challenge it. I don't try to justify it. I just say, nope, it's not a good fit for me right now. But, you know, circle back the next time you're planning this and, and we'll see if it aligns then. And I'm okay with that. And I'm okay to say no to finances, opportunity, accolades. If it doesn't feel right, I'm okay with that.

You and I were just talking about this. The first week of February, I was invited to go to Calgary.. And I've never been to Calgary and it's supposed to be super beautiful. And we're both in Southern California right now and we're both dealing with the— thankfully we're both super safe, you know, at this moment. Um, of course the winds are coming up and we've got the power and I don't know how your brain is, but my brain's always planning for everything in the back of my mind. And when I tune into this trip, it doesn't feel aligned. And your feedback to me was, that's why we built our lives this way, is so that we can really honor those choices and those decisions. And I had this, I had this encounter with my daughter this morning that I would love to hear your thoughts on as far as the life that we built and what's given and what's earned. Are you open for that?

I am absolutely open to that.

Okay, so my daughter's 13. With the fires going on, she's out of school. She's home. She's probably going back to school on Thursday, fingers crossed. And she's laying on my couch typing with one finger. She's got her head on a pillow. She's wrapped up in my fuzzy blankets. And I gave her this feedback and I said, you know, you might wanna think and consider about going and sitting at a desk. Not only do I feel like it might be a little bit more comfortable, but it's also probably more appropriate because school is your work right now, and this is how you're showing up for work. And that was step one, Jess. And then step two was my incredible husband going, says the woman who shows up in jammy pants half the time. And I, not in front of my daughter, because that's important to me. I did not disagree with him in front of my daughter, but I did sidebar with him and I said, I don't know if this is right or wrong. I feel like I have earned the right at this point in my life to show up however the fuck I want. Wow. Because I've built that brand foundation and I can show up in full jammies. I can show up in a messy bun, which is the way that I show up most of the time. I mean, you spent the time with me in Tucson, we were in the Ritz-Carlton and I was in a sweatsuit and messy bun the majority of the time because I am at a place in my life where the way that I look doesn't impact the work that I do.

Right.

And I wanna tell my daughter that's something that she needs to earn. And I also do really believe she doesn't have to conform to society. So it's just a really interesting line to be holding.

I agree. I do think it's unfortunate, right, that our children are living in a much different day and age than you and I did.

Yeah.

And so at 13, I think my family had just gotten a first computer and it was huge, right? And we wouldn't never touch it. I was so— yeah, now they have access to so much stuff. But I do think that we as parents, we have an obligation, one, to give entrepreneurship a good light. Right?

Yeah.

So if we're parents that are always complaining or always stressed about entrepreneurship, our kids will never go into this and they may not want to. But we also have an obligation to show them the work ethic that they may not have been around for because we know work ethic is dying and it's dying very quickly. And the markets are really bad right now looking for employees. So if we can have these honest conversations with them and say, Look, does it have to be this forever that you need to go sit at a desk or that you need to, you know, get this work done or that you need to put in the work? No, it doesn't have to happen forever. But if you can't even start it now, you'll never get to the point where this could be your lifestyle. And I think, you know, we do allowance with our kids. We do quarters. Like they get 5 quarters, they can go to the Dollar Tree. Could we take them to Target?

We could.

We're not going to. What does that teach them? And so I do think that having the reminder of, I am where I am because I've gone where I've gone. Yes. And had I shown up at 18 years old in my jammy pants and stayed on the couch and just hung out or didn't take the steps necessary to get to success, I would not have this lifestyle that we have. Yeah. Chances are the other 30 kids in her class are doing the same. I mean, half of them don't even have their laptops out yet.

Yeah.

And so if we can really get them to a place with, find the thing you're passionate about, but you're gonna have to work hard. You're going to have to educate yourself around that.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's so important.

It's, to me, it's not even about working hard. I think that it's about what we were talking about with directing energy. Yeah, you're gonna have to put your energy there. And if you don't direct enough energy to get up and change out of your sleepy clothes, what's the energy that you're bringing?

Yeah.

Whereas me, you know, I'm 37, and so I'm gonna conserve some energy, get a smoothie for breakfast, and bring the energy that I would spend in curling my hair and doing my makeup in You know, I'll get a blowout now to conserve my energy, but be able to show up in a way that makes me feel— I love having my hair done and being able to show up in that manner. And I'm really clear that it's worth my time to be able to delegate that so that I can focus my energy on what I love doing. And if that's hard work, then yes, I feel like what's harder is to direct 10 to 15% of your energy for 60 years of your life to something that you don't love doing.

Yes.

In order to try to pay your bills and in order to try to maintain Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And I think that goes back to what we were saying with the energy is anything that I can do to bring my 100% energy, whether that's the pendulum, whether that's the clarity, whether that's working with somebody who can help me access that. Like, that's what I'm here for. And I love that you are bringing permission into modeling that. And that's just such a beautiful conversation. I'll probably run down the stairs afterwards and have this.

Yeah. And I think what's important too is how you are very successful and you just walked us through your morning routine of like, I love a messy bun. I don't wanna waste my time doing makeup, hair, all the things. That's what works really well for me. And so funny cuz people ask me all the time, you work from home, why do you get ready?

It's okay.

And for me, that is like my most therapeutic time of the day. I've got a form of science, but like that 20 minutes when I'm getting ready, I always have a podcast. It's before my kids wake up. My husband's already gone. I have my coffee. That's how I show up in my best self. I'm ready. Well, and I know that works really well for me, but I would never tell my clients, you need to do your hair, your makeup. Because that might not work for them. Maybe that's how she feels most comfortable. But I do think if we can just get yourself to a place where there's a separation from the couch to the desk, just those baby steps, like you said, how much more energy or how much more attention or value are you giving that thing and how much quicker can you get it done?

It's the rituals, right?

Yeah.

And that's what I discuss with my clients. You don't think about your shower ritual. You're in muscle memory at that point. You don't think about how you brush your teeth. You're in muscle memory at that point. What if you could bring that ritual into your business to make $100,000 a day? What if you could bring that ritual into your business, you know, with your launches, with the success? Sometimes what we practice is what we want to avoid. Yeah. Instead of practicing putting more energy into what we want to achieve and creating boundaries with my time, with my energy, with my money in a way that directs all of my resources towards the vision that I'm creating. So I wanna ask you as we're wrapping up, what are some of your habits? And even if you wanna share some of the largest struggles that you've had as far as in habits, and what are some of the boundaries that are your non-negotiables? You shared a little bit about what your morning ritual looks like, but what else?

So my number one thing, and I tell everyone that works for me, my clients, my personal stuff hits the calendar first. Yeah. So like we're getting ready to send out our booking link for the next month and I've put all of my school pickups, school drop-offs, kids' appointments, all of that, personal days, doctors, whatever it is. Once all of that is on the calendar, that determines then when I'm available to work. And obviously I structure it around certain days and I have priorities and all of that, but it's never. Let me see if I'm available to pick my kids up from school. If a client books at 3 o'clock, I'm not available. No, it's just not even an option. And clients don't know if you're on a call or you're at the doctor's. I mean, they just have no idea. And so people put this pressure on themselves that I need to be available 24/7 and I need to have so many times on my calendar for them to choose from. And it's just not the case. It's a story you've made up in your own head. Nobody said it. And so really structuring. Your business to accommodate your personal life, because that's what's going to bring you the most happiness. I think that in corporate I didn't have a lot of boundaries, so I was always available. And so how we've really structured the firm, and for all of my advisors as well, is we're Monday through Thursday. That's in our email signatures, that's in our contracts. It's 8 to 5 Pacific. That's written across We have expected turnaround times. We're very transparent with time off. We'll include it in our signatures, like, "I'm coming out of office for Christmas," or whatever it may be. And then we train our clients to also follow that schedule. I took almost all of December off, and we set the calendar up, we set the revenue up in order to be able to do that, where then nothing falls through the cracks. And so there is a strategy in all of this, but it more so aligns with where I want to be personally. I say no, I don't feel it, you know, I don't feel like I have to take every single opportunity that comes my way. And then I know if I'm saying yes to something, it's because I really want to do it. If I am on someone's podcast, it's because I want to be there. I'm never opening my schedule and thinking, oh, this is what I have to do today. Same with the clients that we choose. I think that a lot of service-based businesses, they're so consumed with volume or saying yes to everybody. We say no more than we say yes. We're really picky because I don't want to open my calendar and be like, I got to talk to so-and-so again, or, ugh, they're voxering me again. I get excited to talk to our clients. I get excited to work with the individuals we work with. And so that does mean saying no to revenue sometimes, and I'm okay with that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's one of the biggest lessons, and I just love that. And I do wanna respect your time and I love that you said yes to being on this podcast and we held out for all of the tech issues that have now resolved. Um, so I just appreciate you so much. And this is a question that I have been looking forward to asking you. And it is, Jess, what is your definition of a yes and life?

My definition. Is where at the end of the day, the week, the month, or even the year, I can look back and everything feels harmonious. Mm. Where I don't feel like I excelled in one area but dropped the ball in another. Even this year, my word for the year that I chose was flourish. When you looked at the definition, it really came down to like excelling in the environment that you're in. And the environment that I'm in is I'm a mom to 7-year-old twins, I'm a wife, I'm a business owner. Like, I don't want that environment to change. I want to be able to flourish in that environment as a whole. And so what that looks like to me is probably very different than what it may look like to one of your listeners, but understanding that yes, I can do it, and it may look different to somebody else, and that's okay.

I love that. And that, that goes back to what we were talking about with permission. So I just, I'm so grateful for you coming in and sharing this with our listeners and this episode and just how you, the choices that you've made and also the reasoning behind it and how that has made you work with some of the most ambitious clients on the planet. And I'm so honored that you came and shared your time and your knowledge and your wisdom and your heart with our listeners. Thank you for being here, Jess.

Thank you for having me.

Awesome. All right, loves. Well, if you have any questions about anything that Jess and I have talked about, please drop me a line at hello@bunnyyoung.com. My favorite way to interact with you guys is on Instagram. And so drop me a voice note, drop Jess a voice note. We are gonna put all of that information on how you can reach out to Jessica in the show notes. And if you found this show helpful, which I know that you did, I know if you're still here at this point that you grabbed a gem or two out of it, please hit that follow or subscribe button. It does wonders for the show. It's so important to me that individuals come to Finding the Yes And podcast organically. So I just wanna appreciate and thank you in advance for that. And just drop us a simple note about how this show impacted you. I'd love to hear from you. I am Bunny Young, and I will see you on the next episode of the Yes And Podcast.