How to Build Success by Choosing Alignment Over Safety w. Amber Lilyestrom

Starting to make your dreams your direction in your life and centering them is going to just not only like collapse timelines, but like radically change your trajectory.

Welcome back to another episode of the Yes And Podcast. Today's guest is someone that has been in my circle for a very long time, and I am thrilled to share her magic with you. However, this is the very first time that her and I are gonna get to chat live. So I'm gonna tell you more about that story and the behind the scenes further on in the episode. But I want to introduce you to Amber. She is a business mentor, a branding powerhouse, and transformational speaker who's been leading the charge in the world of business energetics and brand alchemy for years. Her work has been featured everywhere from Forbes and Entrepreneur to Mindvalley and mastermind.com with Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi, which— I can't wait to get into that and share the how with you. And all of that and more. She's also the host of the Ignite Your Dream podcast, author of Master Your Money Mind and Paddle Home, and the kind of coach who helps you collapse timelines and create soul-aligned success that actually feels really good, which is so aligned with this conversation. And I can't wait for you to be able to hear from her. This episode, it's full of wisdom, authenticity, and the kind of truth bombs that leave you thinking about your business and your life in a whole way, which is what we're here for on the Yes And Podcast. So Amber, welcome.

Thank you, sister. I'm so happy to be here.

Yeah, like I can't wait to get into this. So first off, if we give a little behind the scenes of this, I feel like I was first introduced to you like 3 or 4 years ago. And the first time that I actually like became aware of you because we have a super incredible mutual friend, Rachel Canfield, and she was just talking about this incredible human. And so then fast forward to about 2 years ago, and another one of my really good friends, Lindsay Rosell, was talking about her coach Amber. And I think I saw it on one of her stories, and I'm like, is this the same person? Like, how is this? Because geographically, Rachel lives near me in Richmond, Virginia. Well, right now I'm in Southern California, but at that time I was in Richmond, Virginia. And Lindsay's like outside of Denver. And so either you're everywhere or like this was just supposed to happen. What, what is your sense on this?

Yeah, no, I just think like the like attracts like, right? With the types of souls that are connected and then the conversations that we're having. And I just, I believe in the timelessness of divine connectivity and soul contracts and all that magical stuff. And so nothing surprises me, Bunny, at this point. Literally nothing surprises me in terms of who comes, you know, into the sphere and the way that they get there.

Yeah, it's, it's so, it's rich for me because I feel like the longer that I've been doing this, like I've been I've been a coach for over a decade. I've been in business for 2 decades. It feels like my circles get smaller. Yeah. And like what you were saying about like attracts like, I feel like it's the resonance, it's the frequency. And in my human mind though, in, in the 3D, my assumption was, oh man, like Amber's just, just everywhere. Like everybody is, knows who she is. She's this massive coach and this massive person. And then Having this conversation with Rach and learning a little bit more about you, like, you are the most wholesome, like, homesteading, you know, your corner of the earth. How would you describe kind of the work that you do and a little bit about how you got here too? Because you came from a pretty massive background in order to get here to your little corner, not just of the internet, but corner of the world where you're creating your magic.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for that. Um, Rachel's so generous and kind. I love her so much. Yeah. So I was working collegiate athletics. I was, uh, essentially like a director of marketing that for the, the layman speak of what that was. I was one of the top sport marketing professionals in the country at my alma mater where I played soccer. And I had just a very fortunate path of knowing the right people of my dreams being my direction and following the guideposts along the way to be in the right places to meet the right people at the right time for those opportunities. And, you know, I'm someone who also seizes the opportunity too. So I think it's important to speak to— it's not like, you know, it's just given to you. You have to, you have to acknowledge it. You have to say yes, and you have to move in the direction of where you're being guided. And so I had that great career. I became a mom. I had an awakening experience during my daughter's birth, and it was just really clear to me that an older dream— my, my oldest, oldest dream in my life was to be a mom. The second was to, to write books and to help people overcome adversity in life, and I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. And so I was testifying in court as a 5-year-old. I was in therapy. I was going through all of this stuff that helped me really understand emotions, the human mind, capacity, challenge in a very, very intimate way at a very, very young age. And so I just had this calling and this knowing that was, was really put in me at a young age. Like, I'm here to help other people overcome stuff like this, you know, that we're not defined by what happens to us and we're, we are defined by how we respond to it. And I just knew that at a really super, super young age. And so I knew I wanted to write books. I knew I wanted to speak, but I didn't really know what it was I was going to be speaking about. You know, it's funny to think about how I was sort of gestating that dream the whole time while I was pursuing getting a college scholarship to play soccer and becoming the captain of the team and then starting my career and then thinking, okay, I'm going to be a Division I athletic director. There aren't many women doing that. I feel like I could really do that. And then sort of like scratch across the record, Ani's born overnight. I'm realizing I can't— this is not— these two things, these two paths don't go parallel at this point. They're going to go apart. And so in order to be the mother that I want to be, which is the most important thing in my life, I have to go build something that is going to allow me to be in service to my motherhood and also to like this deeper knowing and gift that I'm here to foster. And, and, and take care of. And so I left my corporate job. I walked away from it basically. Um, ironically today that we're, the day we're recording this is the 11-year anniversary of the day I gave my notice. And I did that with one client and really like no idea how this thing was gonna, you know, replace the salary that I very much needed. We needed in our family in order for us to support ourselves financially. But I just knew, like I knew if I could call in one client, I could I could call in 2 and I could call in 3. I just knew, you know, if you let me loose, I have been— look what I've created over the last 10 years in this career. Now I'm gonna take all of that life force, that energy, that skillset, and then the passion of like, I'm doing exactly what I wanna be doing. I'm, it's, I'm gonna be unstoppable. I know I can do this. And so I bet on myself. I gave my notice. I walked from my job about a month or so later. And I, and then first year I hit 6 figures and I built this business during the naptime hustle. Ani was 9 months. I was so happy. I was so excited to be doing it. And I built this company that is now 11 years young and has brought in obviously, you know, multiple 7 figures in revenue. But most of all, it's served just thousands of people, you know, from all these different walks of life and connected me to all these amazing people who are in the pursuit of their dreams, saying yes to themselves and getting their life aligned with how they really want to do this thing because the truth is, and I— this is what I had during that awakening experience, which some people might call a near-death experience. I've evolved that language to say awakening because that's what it really was for me. Yeah, it's that it's such a finite opportunity to be here in these bodies and to have this time with each other. You know, when my, my husband's mom passed away in 2016, it was like really up close focus to realize, you know, how short the being in the body is. And how special it is to get to be together. And then most of us live our lives in these sort of like bad math equations of not getting to be with the people that we love and not getting to do what we really want and then thinking, oh, I'm going to do it eventually. And so for me, it's like, that's ludicrous. Let's figure out how to do it now. Let's, let's figure out how to center what's important now. Let's, let's crack the code on what's happening in your subconscious. Align your life and build a model that's actually going to help you be in your life in the ways that you want to be. And so I certainly had to go first, you know, in order to be able to help anybody else do it.

I love so much of that, and like part of me wants to dive into the either/or and taking the two paths, but let's put that in the parking lot for a second because something that you and I definitely share is like building businesses from your truth, and it's almost like following the thing that it doesn't necessarily make sense in the 3D. And I know for a lot of my clients and a lot of female entrepreneurs, the second— like, I just—

my—

I felt that in my whole body with my cells, is like, the second that you're like, I'm going all in, then like you said, the subconscious stuff comes up and it's like, but what if? You know, for a lot of the women in my circles, one of their concerns is outshining their partner and disrupting kind of that dynamic. And there's so many different things that come up for us of like, what if I fail or I don't want to be salesy? You came out of the corporate job with one client and it doesn't sound like— and you can tell me that you did, but it doesn't sound like you really questioned that. You said if I got one, I got two. And I love that math equation and I love that trust in yourself and Like you're fully aware that you're not the average bear in the aspect that fully believing in that dream is also one of the most terrifying things that you can do when in this society you're taking from the safety of a paycheck, which is totally ironic. And you and I could pull that, that whole phrase apart, the safety of the paycheck to fully betting on yourself and being able to know that you're gonna be able to generate consistent income to keep your family safe and fed. But all that subconscious stuff comes up.

Yeah, it does. It's— and it is scary. And I, like I said, you know, I had to walk through that forest. You know, I had to find my way through it. And I had guides and coaches and people along the way that were there to be helpful. And I think you, you really need that. You know, if you really want to get there, ask someone who's been through the forest before to walk with you. I mean, it's kind of a no-brainer, you know. And, and so for me, I just borrowed from my past experiences of, okay, how did I become a Division I athlete? How did I overcome, you know, 3 massive knee surgeries and learn how to walk again to get back on the field, to be elected as the solo captain, to, you know, do these things? How did I get this job? And so I borrowed from my lived experiences to inspire me into my next iteration of upleveling. And I didn't try to just do it cold turkey. And I also think one of the big things that I learned through it was your expansion and your growth on your life journey is really a compounding effect. So the version you get of me today is the version of me that testified in court as a 5-year-old, that got divorced when I was 26 because I realized after a year into marriage this wasn't the right marriage, and single-handedly moved herself out of her brand new house where she picked out every doorknob and every light fixture, you know, and lived alone for the first time in her entire life and felt like she burned her whole life to the ground and failed at everything and cried every morning in her little khakis and polo shirt, getting ready to go to work because I ruined everything to become the version of me that's talking to you today. I couldn't be her. And I knew that then. And so there's so many times that, you know, I've come through things and I, I don't know if this is like normal. My husband thinks it's not normal, but I can see my whole timeline of my life. Like, I think women are really good at this. Like I can, go back and, and you could say like a month and a year, and I could probably tell you exactly what I was doing and where, what I was working through at the time. I don't know, it's just like this— I know my timeline so well, and I spend a lot of intimate time looking at it because it's, it's really created me, you know. It's really helped me become who I am today. So I can source back to it and not look at it from a disempowering victim mentality, which I used to, I think this is also important. I used to be in victim consciousness. And then I realized in order to become who I am today and who I wanted to be as a mother, as a wife, as a friend, as a, as a creative, um, on this planet, as a daughter, all these things I had to, I had to drop that because it was holding me back and it was just really disempowering. And it was like, again, not good math for me to become the version of me that is, that is here today. And so, yeah, that's sort of how my brain has, has done that math to help me get to this place.

Do you ever have days where you find yourself in that lower consciousness and not necessarily back in the victim mindset, but in that pattern? I've found for me, you know, as a retired therapist in what I, my biased opinion is that Like, we, we do break the patterns, and the patterns come up almost like to knock and be like, hey, are you sure? Are you sure we're done?

Are you sure?

And I have to be in it to really see it. Very rarely at this point in my life do I see it coming, but like, I've gotten better where like as soon as it walks in the door, I'm like, oh, now I see you. Yeah, you know, versus before it'd be like days, weeks into the pattern, and then I'm living from that same space. And so I, I really want for those individuals that are listening to know that, like, there's no— I don't know, I guess some people would call it the messy middle, but like, in my opinion, it's always the messy middle. I don't think life gets easier. I think we get better.

I think so. And I think that we become a little bit more nimble with some of these things because we see it coming. Like, we go, oh, that's what you are. Oh, inadequacy's here again. She's knocking on the door. Of course. You know, it's my, my beloved mentor, Rosemary Robertson-Bredesen always says, what's familiar feels like truth. And so the things that are familiar, right? The story of myself being not good enough to, to get invited to the party or the part of me that is, you know, just the old, the old stories that are, that are on the pathway that are easy to access because they have so many reps that have been put in over the course of my life and sort of the way I've structured my knowing of self, my identity. They are so easily accessible, but there are new ones that I'm able to kind of— so it's like, oh, and I love like the thinking about this and who knows if this is even like how it is neurologically, but I just like to think of it in my head as, oh, that pathway is a well-trodden path, but I've— I'm trotting this one now and this one is stronger. And so they might be like kind of equal. And then I visualize, well, this one's actually more, but that one sometimes still gets triggered and I like go the wrong way. But I know enough to know, oh, okay, I know this path. If I just keep going, I can take a left and get back on the one. And so it's like, what are the ways, you know, it's fun to think about what are the ways that help me get back on the path? What are the things that I get to do for myself? Slowing down is a huge, huge one for me. Just like I can go 100 miles per hour and I can move really fast. I have high capacity and this generator type, it's like when I'm excited, but slowing myself down is— my nervous system never knew that because of all the hypervigilance and just how I grew up. I had to be like 10 steps ahead of everybody. And so my big medicine has been just creating calm and peace and, and slowing myself, having silence, which is also challenging with a 3 and an 11-year-old. But, you know, having places where I can breathe and be. And people are always like, it's so inspiring that you live on a lake. I'm like, no, you don't seem to understand. Like, I, I have to live on a lake. Like, I have to be in a place where I don't hear other people, where I see more bald eagles in a day than I do humans. That's medicine for me. Like, I go on those walks not for exercise, it's for my mental health. So I do all the— I know how to take care of myself to be able to honor my system. You know, people call it, you know, I call it my safety system, to honor my safety system, to, to wire myself in the direction of where I can actually function, you know. So I've, I've learned all of these things about myself, but the way I have is by, by not feeling good, by being hypervigilant and anxious, by having my body overprotect me and have symptoms and things that are not comfortable to exist with. And I've had to be patient with my own process because what I've learned, especially in working so intimately with other people, is that, you know, we all have our own genius and intelligence inside that have helped us to stay safe, to get to this point. And so when you flip it and you're like, wow, look how smart I am that I have a panic attack. That's actually a form of genius and intelligence and protection. And so it's like, oh, finally getting to this, this threshold, Bunny Young, of realizing I was always doing it right. You know, like having an eating disorder for 20+ years was actually a form of intelligence that I was using to feel like I had some control in my life when I really actually didn't, you know, when I was a younger child. And so, um, getting to that place of finally making myself right for all of those things has been just such a huge liberation.

That's the soundbite we're going to use and pull out of this because like, that's— that is just so gold. And being able to really, really pivot that and see that as, you know, the— all of the steps and all of the stones on the path of where you're at now and being able to dig those neurological pathways deeper into— and you are right as far as how neurology works, but it is that like pathway that's traveled that turns it from a little deer trail into like the highway of equivalent to how we brush our teeth or take a shower. We don't really think about that anymore. And this is the challenge for those of you listening to actually go back to brushing your teeth a different way and taking a shower a different way and really slowing it down. And one of the things that I really want to dive in with you just for a second is trusting yourself that you could do less and accomplish more because that's not the conditioning from corporate and that's really not the conditioning from society or life in school. And so what was that moment, or if you still have those moments where you're like, I, I'm going to make this math equation that doesn't math actually turn out in my favor.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think it was that, that moment, um, the beginning of it was realizing, you know, actually giving myself credit for what I had created in my life because I wasn't a person who was going to do that. You know, I think this is, this is something I still think about a lot, how I'm wired to overcome pain and I'm wired to essentially like never reach the finish line. Like, there's always another race, there's always another game, there's always another practice. And I'm like, that's so interesting because what it does is it takes satisfaction and just like pushes it so far out that it's like never good enough. And so I lived with that storyline all the time of like, it's never enough. So even in business, it's like you accomplish the whatever goal month that you wanted to achieve, and it's like, great, well now it's, it's May 1st, and it's like you start from scratch. And just as this feeling of like never, never, never enough. And what I realized was 10 years in my career, I had built so many things that like still live on to this day and had so much success. But in a Division I athletic department where there's always a new season, there's always a new game to play, there's— it's like it really truly is never enough, you know? And I was like, that's why that's in my brain. And I gave myself credit for what I had created. And then I realized, you know, I did that with like 40, 60, sometimes like 80-hour weeks working nights and weekends and 100 events a year. I was producing 15 interns and all these things. And it was like, I don't have to work that hard to go build this other business. I'm going to, I'm going to work 20 hours a week. I'm going to work 15 hours a week. Let's see what happens with that. When I actually like honor my life force for the first time in my entire existence, because everything about Division I athletics is like about depletion. It's like, go to the red zone, push as hard as you can. It— there— it's not set up for you to take like exceptional care of yourself, you know? And I look back and I'm like, man, I wish I knew then what I know now as an athlete. Because even with this knee that's been through what it's been through, I, I would be at a— like, I, I would just have played at a higher level. I would have just done things so differently. I would have done nutrition so differently. And I look back to that and it's like, I just didn't know. It's part of the journey. So yeah, so I think it's like giving yourself credit for all— I mean, you've survived up until this point and everything you've created in your life, and, and really like validating that and really registering that. Because you can't, you can't get to where you want to go without, without doing that. You know, it's like you can't jump off a platform that's, that's like shaky, wobbly. You need it to be solid. And so validation of what you've done and where you've— in the the recognition of like how the cosmic plan has led you to this moment is what gives you the leaping off point to what you're going to do next. And so I think I like have gotten that and I've let it be enough. And then that's become this really strong leaping off point that makes me excited about the thing that I'm going to go and I'm going to do and create next in my world.

Yeah, I love the foundation of that. And from— I did read your book and It's funny because I kept, I kept like turning back to the COVID of the book. This is an oracle deck. It's not her book, but that's why it's a podcast and not a YouTube video. Like, I kept turning back to the COVID and been like, this book is about money, right? Because it's like, yeah, it is and it isn't, right? And so you talk about quantum leaps, you talk about money. How is it all the same? And exactly what you just talked about with the foundation of it. But how does that work in your life with quantum leaping? I feel like you've, you've hinted at it with the compounding, and I've experienced that in my own life time and time again where, you know, it took me 10 years to get here in business and have generated, you know, 8 figures in business. That doesn't mean that it would take me another 10 to do it again. And You know, so with money and quantum leaping, I, I don't have a question. I'm just giving you that platform.

Yeah.

And read my energetic question, Amber.

I got it. I got it. Yeah. Um, it, it just isn't. And if you, if you study enough people who have figured out the money part, what you realize is that it's never really been about money. It's always been about the energetics of their relationship to themselves and the thing that catalyzes them, the thing that gets them excited. And there, there are a lot of people on this planet that get excited about generating money. And then as you and I both know, there are a lot of people on this planet who don't— or have a lot of drama about money and a lot of stories about money that they were raised with that they haven't rewired, that they haven't evolved. And, um, I was one of those people. And so that comes up for me still, even though I've written books about it, right?

Mm-hmm.

It still comes up and taught courses on it and all this. It still comes up cuz it's one of those things we were talking about earlier that has really, really deep roots. And then still like influence that has the same resonance, i.e., like, hi mom and dad, I love you so much. Um, that plucks the same cord about this particular topic that is emotionally charged. And so when I understand how that, how those tethers are connected, it helps me actually sever the connection to money itself and to allow money to just be the, the the tool that it is. And as my friend Elizabeth Ralph says, like, it's a conduit, you know, it's a conduit for connection. It's a, I mean, it can be for anything that you want it to be. You just get to decide what that is. And so when we stop making it about money and instead we make it about what makes us feel alive, what charge, what gets us excited, cuz it's like amazing when I have a vision on something I wanna do, even if it's, you know, like building this building, right? That costs, you know, multiple six figures and I paid cash for it. It was like, uh, I didn't have that money in the bank when I started the process. I just got excited about it. And then the money was like, oh, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to generate it. And the ideas came that inspired the money to come in through the clients that wanted to do the thing. And then now we have a treehouse and built this amazing space that I get to host my best friends in and, and have people come and do VIP days and all this magical stuff. And so I, I got to the point of like doing enough of those things that I realized like, oh my gosh, it's literally never been about money at all. And it's only been about how I feel about the, the subject at hand, which is generally myself. And then the thing that I wanna go and create. And so I love it because wanting to invest or wanting to do something is, it is personal development 101. It's like money's gonna school you. It is here to teach you. So exciting. And it's gonna also reveal the, the, you know, the stuff, the, the drama. That's what we'll call it. The money drama, as most people are, stay engaged with for most of their life. But it's just, you can be free, babe. It really has nothing to do with money. Hmm.

Yeah. I'm gonna have you guys like rewind that and go back and listen to that part again because it, the energy, the frequency behind what you just said, that permission, like what's coming up for me is in a world that's addicted to certainty.

Yes.

And that's really dependent on guarantees. Yeah, right, right. And to protect you from change and transformation at any cost, to stay in the familiar, to be brave enough to dream bigger and/or burn it down and rebuild what's true for you. Also to just hear what's true for you, right? And you've done so much work, and I know one of the things that we wanted to talk about is your relationship with your dreams.

Yeah.

And even like your actual dreams in your conscious state, but your dreams in your unconscious state as well, and the relationship with that. And, you know, being able to, to really wake up in both planes and know that your dreams are here for a reason, and to trust yourself and have that relationship with your dreams. What did you want to say about that?

Well, actually, what just came through is so interesting, is that, um, real-time downloads. It's that money is sort of, um, a smokescreen. It's an easy problem to have because it's very popular. Oh, money, yeah, I don't have enough money, I can't afford it, it's too expensive, etc. But it's like It's a, it keeps you safe from having to actually pursue your dream.

Yeah.

And so if I have a problem with money, then I don't, I can just say, well, it's too, it's too much money to go to Paris, or it's too hard to launch the book, or, you know, and it's funny cuz last night, um, the way I think about dreams in terms of like the sleep dream state situation, not just the conscious dreaming, but is that they are they help— I work things out. I'm working things out in my dreams, and I'm like really highly aware. And last night I had this dream about this barn really close to our house. My daughter is, um, she rides horses. She loves riding. She's like a horse girl through and through. And, um, there's this barn close by that I think is just so— I'm like, I dream of her having her horse there. We don't have a horse yet. She's like done some leasing. Where she rides right now is a little far from home, and it's just hard to get her there as much as I would like to., and I had this dream that I was like meeting with the owner of this barn, whom I've gone and met with in real life multiple times. She's like, the only way you can come here is if you board. And I was like, okay, well, we're not in a season for that just yet in life. But it was like, strategically, what if there's somebody there that wants to half lease a horse that they own and that they— Ani can go ride? And I was like, figured the whole thing out in my head, worked out the lessons and the whole plan with the, with the trainer. And I woke up and I was like, whoa, that was so real. I'm like, I'm texting her today and I'm gonna ask her like, who, who at the barn right now has a horse that needs my daughter to half lease it so that we can be, you know, do this here? And I'm just like, that's my daughter's dream. And I'm, you know, I'm working on that in my sleep. Like, I'm obsessed with it. I, I think that you starting to take your dreams very, very seriously— and I don't mean just the ones you're sleeping with, but the ones when you're awake and you know this is the thing that you want— starting to make your dreams your direction in your life and centering them is going to just not, you know, not only like collapse timelines, but like radically change your trajectory and increase your vitality, your life force, your, I mean, just everything. And what it also does, even though it feels really scary, you know, when I told my mom I was going to leave my career, she, the first thing she said was, oh my gosh, you spent 10 years. Doing this, building this career. You're like, what about your 401k? And what about your benefits? And all, I was like, mom, I'm gonna make so much money. We'll just pay for that. Like, don't worry about it. I got this. And not 2 weeks after I left and she could see like the change, she was like, you know, leaving was the best thing you ever did. And the thing is like, if I listened to her on the front end, because she was trying to protect me because she was coming from her point of reference, from her familiar truth. I would have held myself back from my dream. And so take what your people in your life are saying with a grain. Put yourself in places where people who have actually done the thing you want to do are doing it and living, breathing examples that can say to you, like, why wait? Do it today. You know, put yourself in those places and start centering your dream. Trust your dream because it is not a mistake. It's not here for, you know, by accident. It is the thing that is here to lead you. Into the fullness of who you're really meant to be.

And the first part of that with trust yourself, yeah, like has been the biggest game changer for me.

Yes.

And it's why this podcast is called the Yes And Podcast is because like, yes, it doesn't make sense, and yeah, I'm gonna trust myself.

Yeah.

Like, and so it's— that has been just such a big theme when you talk about obsession with your dreams. I for the past year. I mean, I'm sitting in a house right now that if you had told me a year and a half ago, we would have moved our entire family back to California. Like, I'm the only one who's from California. No one else in my family was born here. I was born and raised here, and I had never had a conversation with my husband about moving back. And my existence oozed Southern Californian. And when we would come back to Disneyland, when we would come back, like this It's— my frequency was just home, and it didn't make sense, and I didn't have a 3D conversation. And yet my husband one day was like, we were driving through Malibu, and he's like, "Have you ever thought about coming home? Moving home?" And now I've moved my entire family here. And it's like, that's— it's just so powerful to trust yourself even when society says, or your mom says, It doesn't make sense. And I'm in a beautiful place with my parents at this point in my life where I could be like, hey, you know what, I'm gonna go buy a planet, and they'd be like, okay. You know, like, they just— like, I'm sure it's true for your mom as well now. Like, she's watched you just claim it, and it doesn't even matter what it is. They're just like, okay.

Yeah, I just told her this weekend that we were, um, gonna spend the winter, essentially, at least like 6-8 weeks of the winter in Florida and our favorite place on 30A and not here in New Hampshire because it is— I just, I don't like it. I don't like the cold in the winter. And I allowed myself to just say that's what's happening. And so we're gonna load up the RV with all of our pets and go down there and spend our, spend our winter in our, one of our other favorite places on the planet. And she was just like, Okay. You know, it was great. It was like exactly the same situation. Yeah.

I love it. I have, I have two more kind of quick things that one came from the question box that I put up on Instagram that came in for you. And then the first thing that I want to talk about is what we were already talking about, which is surrounding yourself with people who can hold the mirror.

Yeah.

And I know, you know, we had talked about our moms, which thank goodness I have an entrepreneurial mom. Like I was uniquely equipped to grow up in this. And any time my mom has ever what I call like mommed me, I remind her that she bet on herself as well and she kind of gets back into it. And I have women like you, I have women like Rachel, I have women like Lindsay who, you know, can hold the mirror for me even when I forget and amplify that energy. And I know that's something that you're really inspired by and committed to, which is why I was surprised when you said that this might be your last event, live event that you're doing, but you're doing—

I have—

I'm— I have flights, Amber, already pulled up, even though I was like, you know, I think I'm not gonna travel cross-country, but you're doing this Ignite Your Dream Live. It is May 1st?

May 2nd.

May 2nd.

Yep.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Tell, tell me a little bit more about it and why it's so important to be in that room and in other rooms of these frequencies.

Yeah. I mean, you know it, right? It's like the, the living, breathing eye contact, hi, you know, like, how tall are you moment? That's always the funniest thing, right? When you're like, you're really tall. I'm not as tall as you, but I'm, I'm pretty tall too. And I always think like that moment of heart-to-heart connection, it's unparalleled. And I think in business, truly, these relationships are the things that that stand the test of time, you know? And so for me, it's always been about that. And I mean, I came from producing 100 events a year, so I love live events. I love the energy of the room. Like, I can get on stage and like rock it like nobody else. And this is going to be that, you know, when I have my best friend Rachel Canfield, who's just, you know, queen of queens, one of my greatest creative inspirations in my life. Most— I'll cry if I talk too much about her right now. So I'm just going to say that I will literally start weeping. I love her so much. We've just grown so much together over the last, you know, 11 years, 10 years, 10 years, 10 years of friendship. And yeah, so Rachel will be there. My, my mentor Rosemary will be there. And my, my dear friend, he's a generator 4/6 like me. We just like laugh so hard. Mike Gannino, he's an incredible speaking coach and he just wrote a book called Make a Scene. He's just like a genius. They're going to be my, my helpers on stage. You know, we're just going to take everybody on a journey. And I just think it's like It's such a privilege to get to have people's, you know, attention, energy, space, like to be there, their presence. It is the greatest gift you can offer. And I don't take it lightly. And it's like, I'm going to bring an experience that's going to just, you know, it's the funny thing is I'm just getting a lot of downloads about what's going to happen, but I won't really know until the morning of because it's like the people that are actually going to physically be in the room are the ones creating the experience. And I'm responding to that, and that's what I bring. And so do— so do— like, it's not going to be rehearsed. There's no freaking slides. It's none of that. It's like, get your journals out, babe. Get, you know, heart to heart, face to face. Like, we're gonna do the real thing that is the next trajectory shifter for you on your life journey in this moment, no matter where you are in your business, in your life, whatever. It's, it's like all hands and all hearts. So May 2nd, I'm so excited. And yeah, it is The last one that I'm doing at right now, you know, that I'm really thinking about because I built this space and, um, I'm in my mama bird era. Um, we are actually in the process of working to try to connect with the next soul and adopt a third child. And so I'm just like, you know, what it takes to put on a live event is a really big ask. And I've built this infrastructure of like, come to the treehouse, you know, like come here and let's do your dream day together. Like, let's really map your thing out., and then like, I'm gonna go make dinner and be with my, my little peeps. And I just feel so like, I just know it, you know? I know like my work is really about going deep and intimate at this point. And even Ignite Your Dream, there's gonna be like 50 people in the room. We're not doing, it's not like a 100-person event. It's like you're gonna have a mini mastermind table of people that you're going to take with you, you know? Yeah. And have these relationships. So that's like what I'm alchemizing and creating in my world right now. And it just, it feels so right, you know, for the time and for what we're needing. And it just feels like medicine at this point.

You know, I love that. It does feel like medicine. And I think one of the most magical parts about you bringing your magic out into the world is what you just said of like, I don't really know what it is. And yet you do such an incredible way of creating this messaging that holds the the resonance that holds the frequency, that holds the energy of what you want it to be, where people convert.

Yeah.

And like, I want to go there briefly with you as well as when people are listening to this and they see how many publications and stages, like massive stages for those of you listening that you've been on and how you created those. I know part of it is your network. But also part of it is, and part of it's that confidence of like, here's where I'm going to put myself. What are the actual logistics of you creating those spaces for people to say yes, for you to be? That, that's the question that came from Instagram is like, how did you get Entrepreneur? How did you get, you know, Tony Robbins? Like, how did you get those lights? And I think that those of you listening are going to be pretty surprised by the answer to this. Yeah, go for it.

Yeah. So I always say, if the dream is in you, it's for you. And that is very much like a North Star sort of part of the constellation, you know, of, of understanding that these visions that I have are again, not by mistake, but also like, I'm not responsible for the way that they happen. And I think that's really, really important. I'm responsible for saying yes. And then that yes unlocks the how. I'm not responsible for the how. I just have to keep saying yes. And of course, right? Yes. And, and, um, with all of those things, like the, the Tony Dean thing that specifically came from a client who is ironically the day we're talking about this, she's on my podcast today. Carrie Jean is her name. And she is now the director of marketing for mastermind.com. And so she said, I, I just need you to come and I need you to be on the stage and I need you to teach. And, um, so I did. And I, I said, okay, what, what am I teaching about? She said boundaries. And I said, I can teach about boundaries. Okay. And I created a class, a course. And then I flew out there with my daughter, brought my 10-year-old daughter at the time, and we went and did the, the taping and recorded it. And then we went to the zoo and had an adventure in Arizona. Yeah. So every single one of these things, like speaking on the Empower Her stage with Keisha, you know, it's always about my relationships with people and them wanting to bring me in to, to share the resonance of what I'm talking about and what I'm teaching, because they, they feel something there. That's how every opportunity in my entire life has happened. It's been always about relationships. And I think this is really important. I see so many people trying to grow so fast, Bunny Young, and they're very transactional about these, these relationships with people. And of course, like, I'm sure I've had my moments of doing that, and I know I've had mine of people doing that with me. And, and it's okay. It's like, we're human, and this is part of our path. But I just feel so grateful for the people that come along because I just, again, like, I'm not in charge of how that happens. And I didn't plan to meet any of like the greatest loves of my life, you know? And so they're here. It's like, oh, cue the waterworks. It's miraculous. And so that's like really what leads me. And then I'm just go, oh my God, that's so fun. Okay, do I want to do that? Sure, I'll go do that. I'm like, is this helpful to you? Okay, I'll go do that. And I just let it move like that. And, you know, some might say that's a crazy marketing strategy, Amber. And I'm like, well, you know, it— proof is in the results at this point, you know? Like, it seems to be working, so we're just gonna keep on flowing and going like that.

Yeah, like, don't slow down long enough to ask if it makes sense. Just keep following the miracles.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, so I saved this to share with you because you're one of the only, like, few people who get to know about this. But as far as, like, the experiences in our life all leading to one moment, I lived in Ecuador between high school and college. I went to University of Arizona and was on the volleyball team there, actually. But the summer before, I went to Ecuador and I volunteered in an orphanage and I came home from that trip. And I was like, I'm gonna adopt. Then obviously fast forward, met my husband, and, you know, he wanted to have biological children. And I'm like, okay, you know, we can, we can do this. And then he told me when I was pregnant with our son, he's like, if this is a boy, I know that you have in your heart to have 4 kids. If this is a boy, you get to— like, we can adopt. He didn't say you get to adopt. He's just like, we'll, we'll adopt if that's what you want to do. And I'm like, yes, that's absolutely what I want to do. And then of course you have these 3 babies and you're like, is this, you know, adoption's a big, it's a big deal. I've been through the process. So rewind and fast forward at the same time to the 6 years that I was in Child Protective Services, that I was working in Child Protective Services. I was not physically in Child Protective Services, but I had about 483 kids over those 6 years. And that's one of the reasons that there, there is a story that I will save for another time that was why Steve encouraged me to quit because I just, I wanted to save all of these kiddos. And in that moment, Amber, I was like, yes, I'm, I'm quitting my job and I'm not gonna quit this cause. Like, I'm not, that's not it. So last, uh, January I called a lawyer that I used to work with in Arizona. In, um, child protective services, and he represented the, the parents. And I said, hey, my husband and I are contemplating doing this adoption, and I, I'm not really looking in all the spaces. We're not really looking for an agency, but if something comes up, just let me know. So I had my heart surgery the 26th of March, and then that next week I get a call from him. And it's like, hey, we have this situation with this little boy who was born December 15th, and my son was born December 28th.

Wow.

So he's literally like 13 days older than our son. And like, would you be interested in adoption? And it's— it was like this moment where we're still flirting with it. For those of you listening, and I know Amber knows this, there's like a million and ten things you know, that happen in this process. But just to feel my heart open and be like that, from, from going living in Ecuador and volunteering in an orfanato to being in social services in Pima County, Arizona, and making this connection that was like over 15 years ago, and then making a phone call that literally can complete our family. Like, when you said that about the just basically saying yes and releasing the how, and it's almost— I felt like I was flirting with the outcomes. Yeah, like making that call to the lawyer, it was just like, hey, you know, we'd be open for this, right? There wasn't any certainty. And that goes back to what we were talking about in a world that's like addicted to here's going to be the path. You know, here's going to be— it gets to be even better than what we, we planned. So in June, we're going out there and kind of flirting with the next part of this process and getting to be really curious and all of that. And for those of you listening on Amber's highlights, she has the beautiful story of your adoption with your son. And that was just so inspirational for me to be able to connect with. Obviously, like, in our path of developing our relationship and getting ready for this podcast episode to bring all of that richness in, it was something that I didn't know that I was going to go that far down that rabbit hole and that I needed, as well as I just felt so connected to you in that path. And especially for anybody listening that, you know, has that question, or for me, like, I had 10 miscarriages And so the whole fertility journey was also really triggering for me for a very long time. And so I just want to thank you for sharing that such like personal part of this story. And it does make sense to me as to why that is 100% part of the brand that is Amber. It's because this is why you're so passionate about building the business that you built and helping others to build their businesses is so that you could be able to bring that, you know, to your family and just bring this energy. It's not even— I don't experience— and why I love— I already love you is I don't experience your life and your business as any different. I experience it as the same energy, and I just think that's beautiful.

Yeah, thanks for that. You know, one thing that you just brought up for me to, to offer is that I think that the path that we choose, whether we realize it or not, is an answer to our deepest ache. And for me, you know, just watching the people that I love struggle and suffer so much with things like money and their relationship and their themselves, you know, and being the child that was witness to that when I thought You know, my parents could walk on water, you know, they're everything. And so then to become a mother and to realize, you know, I'm helping all these other mothers who are hard on themselves and they, they think these things and I just know like their kids just think they're everything. And so it's like everything I do, like at the root is for those kids.

Commercial break while we like pull ourselves together. Yeah, I just like, I think about how blessed I am for with each one of my kiddos, um, especially just being like a couple weeks out from heart surgery and remembering the doctor telling me I wouldn't be able to have kids. And I think that's also part of the adoption thing for me is like I didn't want to get hurt. Yeah, I didn't want to try and, and quote unquote fail. And so the fact that I have these three incredible miracles like, yeah, it's everything. Yeah. And the fact that we could be blessed with another miracle that's just like out there waiting for us is like this— I mean, it's, it's overwhelming. I get emotional, not in a sadness and not even in a joy, it's just like in an overwhelming of the energy of like what's possible in this life.

And you know, the other thing is like the birth parents, you know, you get to have this relationship potentially, you know, um, even if you don't get to have it, like, you will energetically forever also. And so I, you know, that is a profound gift that I see in my son's hands and, you know, in these little, little parts of him that, that don't look like me, but they do look like her, you know, and to honor her. Yeah, for her courage, um, and her heart, you know, it's like that just could go on forever. That reverberates for me forever in terms of like that emotion that you just talked about. I just feel it in the deepest way. And I think about if you really, you know, play the tape back and you think about like the, the whole time, this is the thing that my mentor said to me one day that just completely changed my life. And she said, you know, all those years of infertility for you, because for me it was about 7, 8 years of just heartache and, you know, pain and loss and all of those things. Every single one of those periods you got that you didn't want to get, and those losses that you had in the IVF failing, and all of those things were happening so you could be Alex's mom. Mm. And if one of those things went differently, you would not be his mother. And I just like, oh, you know, like all of the heartache that we've had on our journey in our life that we've just— you sit there and you wring your hands and you're like, would if I could. It's like, babe, the whole time it was leading you to the life you have right now. Like, look at the blessings that are here now. I mean, there— how could it— how could it be a mistake, you know? And I, I got the word held tattooed on my wrist after Alex came because the whole time I was. Yeah.

And now he is.

And now he is. Yeah.

And he's wrapped in that energy.

Yep, yep.

So yeah, so beautiful. It's so beautiful. Ah, like we could do this forever. I have so many more— not even questions, but just continuing on this energy. And so my commitment is that while we are going to close the podcast episode, that this is just the beginning of this relationship. So Amber, thank you for being here and sharing not just your brilliance and your wisdom and your experience and your entrepreneurial, like, chutzpah, but your heart and your story and your energetic codes for dreaming bigger and bolder and trusting yourself. And I just, I know, I am seeing your words connect with every single being and spirit that listened to this podcast episode, probably more than once, and they're just walking out into the world with this deeper permission slip to trust themselves and to take this aligned, soul-expanding, yes-and action. So just thank you for being here.

Bunny, thank you so much for your magical translator abilities. You can receive the energy and ground it and then move into the next thing. It's just, it's so fun to have like a spiritual, you know, friend on the tennis court, you know, that we can just like hit the ball back and forth. And I always say this, like, like, it's hard finding people like that, you know, in the world who can like return the ball at the same velocity and like not be upset because you hit it so hard, you know. So I just— you're that. So just thank you for playing.

Yeah, I absolutely love that. And I love like our voice notes back and forth too, of like just how clearly we can communicate and be like, hey, I just want to make sure like I'm hearing your energy is this. So I, I hear that 100%. And it's been an honor just to have you as a and I know we will have more conversations and share more microphones. So as my commitment, this is just the beginning.

Thank you, love.

Yes, and still look at those flights, so stay tuned. To everyone who's listening and to tuning in, I know that, you know, Amber and I are deeply in love with each other, but also just want to love on you because it's— if there's One thing that makes this podcast possible and these conversations possible is the energy that we feel of those of you listening and being a part of this. And my one thing that I wrote down taking away from this conversation is your dream isn't random. It's a roadmap. And so I'm encouraging you to let it guide you, let it stretch you, let it become that legacy that you're here to create. And make sure that you connect with Amber on Instagram, It's @AmberLillistrom, and it's going to be in the show notes. And check out her Ignite Your Dream Live event happening May 2nd. So I'm going to make sure the link is also in the show notes. If you're listening to this podcast and it's after May 2nd, just go connect with her because it's always just such an incredible invitation to continue this. And trust me, you're going to want to be in the Ignite Your Dream Live room and you're going to want to just check her out on her podcast, all of the things.. And my last little ask for you is, with this episode, if it sparks something for you, take a screenshot, share it to your Instagram stories, tag us, tell us your dream. Like, we are cheering you on every single step of the way, and allow us to amplify that. I would absolutely love that. Tag Amber as well. We will share it with our communities and just hold that for you. Like Amber said in her closing of like, held. It just my desire for you is to know that, that your dream is held by you and by us. So until next time, keep saying yes to what lights you up and keep building a life and business that reflects the full truth of who you are. I'm Bunny Young, and this is the Yes And Podcast.