Dr. Aziz describes meeting an unusually confident man and shares two strategies: believing no one is intrinsically better than anyone else, and reframing your weaknesses as strengths. He uses the example of turning being very thin into an advantage.
So there I was in this room of about 400 people, and this guy stands up to raise his hand to ask the presenter a question. And the second he stands up, I'm like, who's that guy? So he's dressed really well, really sharp. You could tell he put a lot of attention into his dress. But it wasn't just your standard suit or normal stuff. It was a little more like flamboyant. Like he had like a feathery kind of boa thing on and. But it was all put together, looked really good. And he stood up. And it wasn't just what he was wearing, but it was the way he carried himself. And the way he talked to the presenter was like equals. And there was a dignity with which he carried himself, a confidence. And for my whole life, whenever I saw anyone like that, guess what I do? I gotta find out their secrets. So sure enough, later on, it's two days later, actually, and I find him at this big gathering. It's like meal thing where everyone's at. And I go over to him and. And I just tell him, hey, listen, I study confidence, and I've been studying it for years. I love to teach it. And I noticed, and I told him what I noticed about him and I said, I want to know what is your secret? How do you do it? And he laughed and he said, well, I wasn't always confident. And I said, I bet that's what I've heard from a lot of really confident people. Which, by the way, should be great, inspiring message for all of us, right? He's like, well, we can learn. This guy learned, I learned, you're learning. We can all learn this confidence thing. Anyway. So I asked him, and what I love about this guy, he's like, oh, it's two things. Like, he was ready for that question. He's not a confidence teacher, he's not a confidence coach. He doesn't write books on it. He has a business, a whole different kind of business that he runs. But he was ready because he's a confident man. And so I said, great. What are the things? He's like, the first thing is universal worth equality. Universal worth, equality even has terms for it. And I was like, go on, get out my notepad. And he said, look, you gotta really get that no one is better than anyone else. Everyone's got the same stuff going on Underneath, everyone's got the same insecurities. Everyone underneath is the same as you. Underneath their differences, their cultural differences, their economic differences, their background differences, underneath, they still have insecurities. Just. Just like, you. Like, if you really get that. He says, something shifts. Something really shifted for me when I really got that. I was like, ooh. And he said, there's another thing. I said, what is it? And he said, you gotta reframe your weaknesses. Reframe your weaknesses. The things that make you think, like, you're less than others. Reframe them so that you see that it actually is not something that makes you less than others. I was like, okay. I thought he would continue, but he didn't. He was about to move on. I was like, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Can you share more? Like, what's an example of a weakness of yours that you reframed? And he's like, ah, well, you know, I'm a tall guy. I'm very skinny. And he was. He's a thin man. And he said, for a lot of my life, I judge myself for being skinny. I'm too skinny. I mean, I'm like, look, I'm a really skinny guy. I'm too skinny. I'm too bony. It's not attractive. And so he's like, that's what I believed for many years. And he said. Then I reframed my weakness. I said, what did you reframe it to? He said, well, 90% of the world wants to lose weight, right? Like, 90% of the world wants to be thinner. And here I am. I'm thin. Thin is beautiful. Thin is healthy. Thin is strong. Thin is living well. Thin is where people want to be. And I could tell as soon as you say it wasn't just a line, he actually believed that. And I was like, yeah, thank you, sir. Shook his hand and said, thank you. I absolutely love learning from people. No matter where they are, when they display confidence, they have a strategy, they have a mindset, they have a way, they have patterns. Their success leaves clues for all of us. And that's what I'm here to do, is share them with you. So what weakness of yours can you reframe? And if your mind says, well, you can't. His. Okay, his made sense. But mine, mine, you can't reframe. Mine's just objectively bad. That's not true. That's lazy mental brains. We got to activate our creativity. And look, if you really wanted to, you could. You're probably already coming up with one reframe right now. So what's one of the weaknesses that you could reframe? Share down below. I'd love to hear your comments until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
