2016: The Year That Everything Changed

What if this coming year was the best year of your life? What if in 2016, you were able to do things that you've never done before, experiences that you've never had before? What if all the things that you've wanted and hoped for you were able to go after and get and create? What if fear never held you back? What if you could show up as your most bold, powerful, confident self? What if 2016 was the year that everything changed? Coming to you from the center for Social Confidence in Portland, Oregon, welcome to Shrink for the Shy guy, helping men everywhere go from social anxiety to social domination with your host, Dr. Aziz. Hey, welcome. Today's episode of the show New Year's show. This is the last Show show of 2015, and we are about to step into a new year. And I love the new year. I know a lot of people say, like, oh, it's just another day, and, oh, people make all these resolutions and they don't keep them and it's no big deal, but, man, it feels powerful to me. I don't know if it feels powerful to you, but months before, like, maybe starting in October, usually October, November, December. So like, three months before the end of the year, my mind's already thinking about, like, okay, 2016, 2016 is going to be this and it's going to be that, and it just starts to build up, and there's this visionary, powerful sense of possibility because you know what I mean? If you look day to day to change how you are from today to tomorrow, even, even if you go take an action, even if you step up, even if you take a risk, even if you really face your fear and you might have an awesome experience, you might have a challenging experience, but you know you're doing something, and that's awesome. But if you do that on a Tuesday, you wake up on a Wednesday, eh, you know, maybe you'll feel like more liberated, ah, look what I did. Or maybe you'll feel more scared, like, I can't believe what I just did. But you're not going to be like, you're not going to feel totally different in my experience, but over the course of a year of doing stuff like that, of challenging your edge, of facing your fear, of going after what you want, of speaking up, of being more bold, being more confident, you do that for a whole year and, whoa, your life is different. That's the kind of thing where you look back and you're like, what the fuck? What did I do this year? What happened? How did. What crazy. And so the amount of Change and growth and transformation that can occur over a year is mind boggling. And that's why I get excited about the new years. In fact, that's why it changed all. I used to do shorter stuff. Now anyone who wants to do one on one coaching with me or be in one of my groups, the commitment is a year. Because that, I found, is the magic amount of time for deep transformation. And sometimes for me, it's even longer. I was in a men's group for two years and that was life changing. That actually allowed me to have a relationship that I overcame some major nice guy stuff that was sabotaging all of my close relationships with women. And now that allowed me to be in an amazing relationship with Candace, which is kind of the best thing ever. So, so much can happen in a year. I hope you're excited about 2016 and if you're not yet, by the end of this show, you're gonna be buzzing with excitement. It's gonna be awesome. We're gonna do some amazing stuff and we're gonna help you set yourself up for 2016 to be the year that everything changed. In fact, imagine that for a second. What would it be like if it was, let's say it was 10 years from now, you know, it was 2016. Sorry, 2026. Yeah. Future sounding with flying cars and, and hovering toaster ovens, because that's the first thing they would invent, I'm sure, in the Future. Imagine this 2026, and you were looking back and let's say you're 30 now. So you're 40 at 2026, or you're 25 and you're 35, or you're 50 and you're 60. Whatever your age, imagine you're 10 years older. You're looking back, it's 2026. Maybe you got a few more gray hairs and look a little older, a few more wrinkles and you're like, man, you know, the year that everything really changed for me was actually 10 years ago. It was 2016. That was the year that things really shifted, really took off. What if that is your experience? What if that could be your experience for 2016? Because guess what? You can make that so you can make it so you got to take control and, and decide that this is the year that's going to be different. That's the first thing you got to really take control. I'm going to make this happen. And sometimes we're scared to do that because we're like, I don't know, I can't make Things happen. Or I've said I was going to do that before and then I couldn't. So now I'm scared of trust in myself or what's the point of even saying I'm going to do it? Because I'm probably not let that go. That is a toxic trap. I tried once and it didn't work. So now I'm not going to try again. Holy shit. If that's how you're approaching life, you are done. You are toast. You have plateaued and are gonna stagnate. You gotta try again. You gotta recommit. Find more energy, find more passion. Solve whatever problems got in your way and do it again. And I love to come up with themes for the year. That's what I started thinking about in October, November, December, as it gets closer, what's the theme? And for me, the theme of 2015 was explosive growth. And I don't like sit down and come up. I just let it come to me. I just let. What sounds good is the year of explosive growth. And that was explosive growth, personally in my business, apparently for family as well, because we had another kid. So explosive growth. So what is the theme? What is the theme that you would like for 2016? What's something that would be fun, that would excite you, that would fill you with energy or passion, give you some motivation? The year of what? Whatever comes to your mind. Just let some things pop up, let them be funny. I like to make them kind of dramatic or epic sounding. That's fine. That makes it more fun, it gives it more juice. So just notice what comes to you and just what do you want your 2016 to be? The year of what? Yeah. Great. So coming up with that, maybe sitting on that, thinking about that more as you plan forward. Because if you think in it, if you want, it can be so. So what we're going to do now is we're going to help you get set up to make 2016 the year that everything changed. Does that sound good? Does that sound valuable to you? Are you excited to do that with me? Awesome. I can't hear you, but if you speak out loud, I might. So you might just want to respond and speak out loud. Are you excited about making 2016 the year that everything changed? Awesome. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to guide you through a really powerful exercise that's going to help you gather and harvest confidence that's already inside you that you probably have not harvested or accessed. We're going to do that and then we're going to use that power and energy to look forward and come up with some very clear things for your next year in 2016. So we're going to take a quick break right now, get some water, get something to write on, get a journal, use the bathroom. And we're going to sit back and do some pretty powerful stuff. So stay tuned. We'll be right back right after this.

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Welcome back. So here's what we're gonna do now. I'd like you to close your eyes for a second and if you're driving, then that's okay. Can't do that. But you can still do this with your eyes open. But if you're sitting or lying down or something like that, just go ahead and sit down for a minute or lie down or close your eyes and get comfortable and just take a deep breath in and let it out and think back over this last year, 2015. Go all the way back. You remember last January, beginning of this year, and reflect over this past year, January and the winter, the beginning of the year and all the way through the year. And think about what are the successes of this year, My wins, the ways that I've grown, things that I've done and tried, results that I've gotten, attempts that I've made, people that I've met, whatever it is, just reflecting all the way from January through the winter through the spring to the summer and the fall, all the seasons of this year. Thinking back to different moments where you did something, you tried something, maybe a maybe small stuff, maybe a certain Conversation you had with someone where you showed up differently? Or that moment you were assertive with your boss, or that moment you told someone no. Maybe you got. You changed jobs, you took a risk and you left one job to go for something that was more inspiring, more life enhancing. Maybe you met an amazing woman or an amazing partner and you took the risk to make that happen. Maybe you've been challenging yourself. You've been going and doing new things and speaking up in new ways and walking differently. What have you been doing? What are the wins? Find them. Accumulate them. Notice them. I know that no matter what your year was like, there are at least a couple of dozen wins over the course of a year for anyone. It just depends on how you define a win. Sometimes it's got to be so big and so great. I didn't make it to the moon. I didn't earn a billion dollars. No wins. Just let it go, man. Lower that crazy bar. Stop being such a perfectionist and just find the little ones. Give yourself a little bit of credit. We have this tendency to discount our wins, our strengths, our growths, our breakthroughs. Yeah, but someone else could already do that. Yeah, but it's not that big of a deal. Yeah, but then it didn't work out after I did the first part, and we're always focusing on that gap. Here's what I didn't do, here's what I need to do, here's where I need to be, here's why I'm not there yet. Let that go. Honor yourself. Start to really see what it is that you did. Start to marvel at who you are and what you've been able to do. Not comparing yourself to anyone else and what they could do. This is about you. Look what you did this year and how maybe some of it was really challenging for you and you faced fears. Who cares if someone else has that fear or not? This is about you. You faced some of your fears. What were they? Good. What are some of the things you accomplished this year? Noticing those. Seeing those right now. That's right. Good. Just letting them come to your mind. Whatever images, movies, pictures, still images, whatever you're seeing in your mind is letting it emerge now. And then what I would encourage you to do is open your eyes, if you have had them closed, and find a sheet of paper and just write some of this stuff down. Or open up a file on your phone right now and just write some of this stuff down. Just jot it down on paper. Because even if it's just a few things, it makes it More real. It sends a message to our subconscious mind that's like, hey, I acknowledge you. I see you. I honor you. And that's very different. Most of the time, most of us are kind of in a constant state of not honoring, dismissing, discounting, and devaluing that. What we've done. That doesn't feel good to us. It doesn't inspire us. It doesn't give us confidence, and it doesn't motivate us to move forward. Always focusing on where you're falling short and the gap does not motivate you to move forward. Maybe a little bit once in a while, but if so, the fuel is poor. The fuel gunks you up, makes you feel inferior. You want to be motivated by inspiration, by being proud of yourself, by being excited by what you're doing, not by feeling like you suck and you need to get better. So make that list. Write those things out now if you haven't already. Good. Good. So how are you feeling as you do this? Sometimes people feel awesome, and sometimes people feel like, ugh, I'm uncomfortable acknowledging my strengths. That's okay. That's just a sign that you probably need to do it more. Good. So now you have this powerful list. In fact, I'd like you. Let's just take. We're going to take a quick break right now. Sit with this experience. Just feel what it's like to really acknowledge yourself. And then when we come back, we're gonna turn this. We're gonna use this as fuel as you look forward into making 2016 the year that everything changed. Stay tuned. We'll be right back right after this. Hey, what's up, J. Dwog? Sup, wheezy? Nothing. Hey, man, check it out. I found this new program online called text your way to sex. Dude, it is awesome. No way, man. Does it work? Oh, yeah, man. I've gotten laid, like, 400 times in the last month, yo. Damn. For real? Oh, man. Hey, J dawg, maybe this can help me. I got this girl that I met, and we talked, and she was totally into me, and then we were texting, and I texted her, like, four times in a row, and she didn't respond. Maybe you can tell me what to do to text her into sex. No doubt. Check it. I can look up exactly what to say after she doesn't respond after the fourth text. Here I go. Okay, here's what you say. You ready, Wizzy? Yeah. Hey, insert girl's name, comma. Okay. Hey, Tiffany, comma. All right, what do I say next, G dog? One of the Hot babes that's into me at this club. Reminds me of you. You missed out, period. You missed out. Damn. Send that shit, yo. And she will be texting you for sex in, like, three minutes. Yo. Y. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a ton of stuff out there on the Internet that will give you a false sense of certainty that you know exactly what to do in every situation. And. And it's. Most of it is just garbage. And it doesn't create good relationships. It doesn't actually make women want you, and it doesn't lead to a satisfying relationship with a girlfriend or maybe even someone you want to make your wife. If you want to learn how to show up boldly, confidently, strongly, assertively, and actually attract women by being the most powerful man that you are and then know how to text or what to say coming from that place, then I strongly suggest you check out my program, 30 days to dating Mastery, which is going to teach you everything you need to know, not in some weird script form, but by tapping into your own masculine, confident power and then step by step, getting out into the world and doing missions and breaking through your own fears so you're no longer stuck and doubting yourself. To get started today, go to 30daystodatingmastery.com that's 30 days to dating mastery.com and you can also sign up there for a free ebook that I'll send you, which is called 7 Ways to Start Conversations with Women. Anywhere, anytime. No weird pickup artist stuff. Just you being your most badass, confident self. Okay, welcome back. So now look at 2016. Let's dive into that together. Imagine, let's time. So we kind of. We've done a lot of time leaping time travel in this show today. First we went looking into 2016, then we actually went 10 years, remember, to 2026, and looked back and said, wow, it's the year that everything changed. And then we time traveled back to the beginning of this year, 2015, and went forward and looked at all the things that we've done and wins and accomplishes and successes, growth, and the changes we've made. And now what I'd like you to do is actually jump again to the end of 2016. So it is December, end of December in 2016, and you're looking back at the year, and it's the year that everything changed. And here's where you definitely want a sheet of paper. Okay? So if you didn't get a sheet of paper the first time and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do it later or not at all. Whatever. Do yourself a favor, pause this right now and go get. Or at least just open up a file on your phone. Doesn't have to be paper and pen, that weird archaic stuff. Right? Whatever it is. But if you have a journal, and I love journals, then put it in your journal. But do this one. Do it for yourself. Ready? So pause this. I'm gonna resume in a minute. I'm just gonna assume that you have it and that we're on the same page. Okay, cool. And if you're not getting it, what's up, dude? Is it a fear? What's getting in the way? Because this is how shit happens. This is how you're gonna make the year that everything changed. If you're listening to this and you truly want 2016 to be different and you're not willing to write stuff down right now, then I got news for you. 2016 might not be that different. Because the way you make it different is you make it different. You take action. You do things, and when you do, your life changes. Okay? So here's what we're gonna do. Grab your sheet of paper, open up that notepile on your phone. You're at the end of 2016. It's the year that was just the best, most awesome year of your life. What is everything that happened over this year, over 2016, as you look back at it? What is everything that happened that made it such an awesome year? Go ahead and just start listing everything that you'd want. So you're looking back and it's already happened. Well, I met an amazing woman, or whoa, I just crushed it in my career. My business grew or this or that, or I just felt so comfortable talking to everyone, I totally stopped criticizing myself. This year, whatever it is, writing it out as if it already happened, you're looking back at 2016. Does that make sense? So go ahead and writing that out now, and I'm just going to stay with you here and occasionally suggest some things, but we're going to be doing this together, writing this out right now. Good. What else? What else do you want to has had? What else has already happened that made this year so awesome? This year of 2016. What happened in your love life, your dating life, the relationship that you're in? What about in your business and your career? What happened there that was just awesome that made 2016 such an amazing year? Good. Keep writing. If you stopped, you slowed down. Come up with more. And allow yourself to be unreasonable. Don't leave stuff off. Well, that's not realistic. That's not reasonable. I don't know. I couldn't do. Just don't filter anything. It was the year that everything changed. Remember? Remember? So what changed? What happened? What did you. What did you accomplish over this year of 2016 that was just awesome. Maybe even surprised you. Good. Keep writing just a few more minutes, Making sure you include anything else. Your social life, your friendships. Do you want deeper friendships or what happened this year? And I keep pulling myself to the end of 2016 here. So when you look back, did you meet some new friends? Did you interact with people? Do you have some. Do you have just like two or three awesome friendships with people that you really love and are really connected to that you forged over this year? Good. Include. Maybe it was part of your career, but include finances, too. Your income. What happened in this year that was awesome? How did it grow? How did it change? What did you do to make that happen? Allow yourself to be specific when you want to be and general when you need to be awesome. Okay? So keep writing as much as you want. If you're rocking this, you can even pause this and just keep writing. If you feel done, that's great, too. You want to add to it later, that's fine, whatever it is. But now you got something that's pretty amazing and pretty valuable and pretty different than what most people will do. And here is what we want to do now, as you look at that list and we're still in 2016, all this stuff that happened the end of the year, ask yourself one more question from this place in time, which is the end of 2016. What did you do in order to make all of this a reality? What did I do? What did I specifically do? So make another list. Says what I did. Remember, this is all from the past tense because this has already happened. We're at the end of 2016. We can time travel in today's show. It's pretty cool. You're looking back and you say what I did to make that a reality and just list out the things. What did you do? I showed up differently. I spoke up. I read books. I joined a program. Maybe even join a coaching mastermind with me. That could definitely help you make 2016 the year that changed everything. What did you do? I faced rejection. I changed jobs. I got better at sales. I took a sales training course. I approached a hundred women. What. What are all the things that you did to make those things a reality? Does that make sense? So be writing that out right now as I'm talking, making another list. Good. What else did you do? What did you. In order to make all that a reality, you had to do stuff. What did you do? Writing that down now. Good, Good. And again, if you want to keep writing, go, you can pause this. You're gonna add to this later, but this, at least you have something to start with now. Good. Okay, so go ahead and stand up for a second. And if you're driving, you can't do that, but at least stretch or do something. Stretch your arms up above your head. Put down your pen or phone or wherever you're writing on. Just stretch for a second and jump up and down a little bit. Shake your body out. Take a deep breath in and let it out. And here's a couple cool things. One, just let this sit. This is powerful, what you just did. Most people will not do it like this. What they'll do is they'll sort of passively think about it like, oh, this year maybe I should work out more. Okay, I'm gonna work out more. Here I go. And they'll come up with sort of a half assed New Year's resolution with no clarity. And then they'll stick to it for like a week. What you did is so much more in depth and so much more powerful. And I know it might seem a little weird, like this time travel thing, this shit is powerful in your subconscious mind. It affects you in ways that we can't comprehend intellectually with our rational left brain. But something in there makes it more inevitable, it makes it more real. When we've time traveled and we're looking back and all that stuff, there's a reason why I did it that way, because it's more powerful, it's more impactful. So this is something most people will not do. And guess what you got. Not only do you have an exciting list of all the things you want for the year, you have a list of what you are going to need to do to make it happen. Which is incredible because sometimes people want something like, oh, I want love this year. I want to find the love of my life in 2016. But they don't have any idea what they are going to do to make that happen. Which means they're gonna passively wait and do exactly what they've done every other year and just hope that things change. But not you, because you got a list. And that is powerful. And here is one major key to making this stuff a reality. Don't stop. Don't stop. That's it. If you keep moving forward, if you keep taking those actions, keep, you will get These things, and maybe, hell, I don't know, maybe some of them are gonna happen in 2017, but a lot of them might happen in 2016. I don't know what you wrote down, but if you just don't stop, what you can do in a year, what you can create in a year, what you can change in a year is so much more than you think and realize. Because we think in these short time frames, this day, this week, this month, oh, this month is the same as last month. A year is a huge amount of time. Huge amount of time. So much can change. And in fact, in next week's episode is the beginning to kick off the year. We're going to be talking about unlimited confidence and motivation for 2016. How to really skyrocket that sense of motivation and confidence. Just keep going. So this whole thing of not stopping, we're going to go deep into that and help you just have supercharged fuel to just keep moving forward and moving forward faster than maybe you ever have before. So we're going to end with what we always end with, which is your action step. Time for action. Your action step for today. You already did those lists. That's your action step. You wrote those things down. Now, if you didn't do them, Shay bod you. But then do them, maybe go back and listen to that part of the episode where I am talking you through it and do it because you owe it to yourself. And if you already did it, that's great. So the only thing you need to do now is make it somewhere visible. If it was digital on a phone, transfer it somewhere where you can print it out or save that file somewhere on your phone or your computer where it's going to be accessible. Don't just bury it so it's in the bottom of your notes, in the bottom of your phone that are gone, or it's in some random file on your computer that you're never going to look at, or you wrote it out somewhere, but then you fold that thing up and put it, I don't know, at the bottom of your dresser. Make it somewhere real and visible. And then look at that regularly. I mean, if you want to go crazy with this stuff. Napoleon Hill, who wrote Think and Grow Rich, was one of the biggest, most influential people probably in the world in the professional and personal development movement in this century. He would be like, you read that. Or he would call it your definite major purpose. Exactly what you're going to do and why you're going to do it and how you're going to do it. He would have people read that in the morning and at night, when they get up in the morning and before they go to bed at night. Because he knew that the more conscious you keep this stuff, the more powerful, the more motivated, the more likely you are to achieve it. So you don't have to go that far, but at least keep it accessible and keep it around and review it regularly, especially in the first couple weeks, first couple months that are going to keep you on track and keep you strong for 2016. So I will talk to you in 2016 in our next episode. Here's to another phenomenal year of being with you. Thank you for being with me for this entire year. Or maybe this is your first episode, I don't know. But I love that I have this opportunity to connect with you, to share with you, and to receive the amazing feedback that I get from people. That's why I do it, to make an impact and share all this stuff for free. To hopefully help everyone who wants to shift and change and grow rapidly to get that confidence they need. So it's been phenomenal to spend this time with you this year and I cannot wait for more. There are no signs of me stopping. In fact, everything is just continuing to go powerhouse for 2016. So I cannot wait to spend 2016 with you as well. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkforthshyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com. Sat.