Dr. Aziz outlines three common mistakes that keep well-intentioned people from speaking up and being themselves: (1) deferring to others’ perceptions of reality, (2) avoiding risk by delaying action, and (3) subjecting oneself to a toxic internal critic. He argues that changing any one of these patterns can produce major positive change.
The three biggest mistakes that keep nice people in the cage and anxious people afraid from speaking up and being themselves. Number one, deferring your reality. You know, whatever you thought about the situation, however you felt about it, it's probably more real than me and mine. I mean, you seem more certain. You're probably smarter than me, you're probably better than me. You know, how you saw it is how it was. Probably. Number two is avoiding risk through delay is the favorite one, right? Like, oh, maybe I'll go do that, but later I'll start that program later. I'll join that thing later. I'll go to that meeting later. I'll speak up in my next meeting next month. I mean, maybe next year I'll talk to that person and ask them out when I feel more confident. Number three, this is the biggest one is toxic treatment. And no, I don't mean by your jerky ex spouse. I mean by you through a toxic internal critic that's running amok. You want to change any one of those three, and your life will be different forever.
