3 Questions To Radically Increase Your Self-Esteem

Would you like to radically increase your confidence, your self esteem, and What I call O.M.O.S. stands for on my own side. Being on your own side. Being on your own side means you don't turn on yourself, you don't attack yourself, you don't criticize yourself. You treat yourself with compassion, with respect, with dignity. And then that breeds a healthier sense of self esteem and confidence, which then goes out and impacts everything in your life. So a big part of the work I do with clients is helping them radically increase being on their own side, or this silly little acronym called omos. Omos. So there are three questions that you can ask yourself that will increase you being on your own side, and as a result, an immediate result, radically improve how you feel, your confidence, your energy, your assertiveness, and just the quality of your life. The first thing to ask yourself that. I guess this is one of the, I don't even counting this as one of the three questions because this is such a baseline question. But we'll start. So maybe it's technically four questions. The first question is, am I being on my own side right now? That's a powerful question to ask yourself. Am I being on my own side right now? And you know, find out, is it yes or is it a no? And just take a moment to really pause. And even just asking that will start to break the hypnosis. You get into the daily insanity of like, I'm not doing that good enough and I'm a bad person and now I feel guilty and oh, they're not going to like me and oh, I need their approval and I'm a nobody. And then you say, wait a minute, I'd be on my own side right now. No. And now you have something to work with. Now you can ask the other questions. The next question is, how can I take care of myself? Really basic question, but let there, let ask it and let your answers come to you. How can I take care of myself right now? You take a breath and you slow down, you pause what you're doing, like, whoa, I'm not being on my own side at all. Okay, all right. How can I take care of myself right now? And then you'll see. Maybe the answer is, well, I can stop criticizing myself. Maybe the answer is, I can take a break. I've just been grinding away at this and not breathing at my computer for five hours. Like maybe I need to get up and move around. You know what I can do? I can eat something that's going to nourish me right now. Right? You can ask that question. If you notice, it's like, oh, I got to go drown myself in some cookies. You can say, wait a minute. How can I take care of myself right now? And the answer is, you know what? Those cookies are not going to feel good for me right now. Let me call a friend. So how can I take care of myself? The next question to ask yourself is, what would I say to a friend? Whatever the situation is, you know, you're being hard on yourself. You're being anxious, you're being critical. What I say to a friend. Because 9.9 times out of 10, you're telling yourself, like, terrible, mean, awful things like, you're gonna fail, and then you're gonna get fired, and then no one's ever gonna hire you again, and you're gonna die alone in a gutter, and everybody hates you, and you're just like, I don't know why I feel so anxious. And just imagine if you were saying that to a friend. Like, how messed up is that? How long would they be your friend? It's like, okay, what would I say to a friend? What would I say to a loved one? What would I say to a child? What would I say to someone? What would I say to someone I truly care about and love? And then you practice this. And at first, it's weird. At least it was for me. It was like. Well, I guess I would say, hey, man, you got a lot on your plate. You're doing. You're doing a lot. You're doing great. It's okay. It's really not even that big of a deal that you made that mistake, right? It's a reassuring thing. And I remember the very first time I, like, I didn't even. I did it in a journal because it was, like, so weird to, like, say that out loud to myself. Just felt like, this is some weird. I'm a psycho talking to myself. This is way back before I got way more into personal growth. Now I'm crazy all the time. I just talk to myself all day long in my office by myself. What was that? Anyway, okay, so am I on my own side right now? How can I take care of myself? And what would I say to a friend? Bonus question to ask yourself a little bit of a variation of question number two. There is what do I need right now? You know, and this question comes from, I've raised a lot of young beings. Well, me and my wife, I should say. Not just me by myself. So we have two children who are now 6 and 8, and we have two dogs. Now, earlier, we actually raised two other puppies and then ended up rehoming them. So I've had the opportunity to raise four dogs from puppyhood, but we have two now. And so that's a lot of beings. That's six little beings. And basically what you're asking yourself with a little being, whether it's a baby or a puppy, you know, everything for a baby or a puppy is kind of urgent, right? The baby's like. And you're like, okay, what does this baby need right now? And we got one of our dogs is a puppy right now. And we call her the Puppy Alarm. Because at like 5am she's like, banging the crate. She needs to go pee. She needs to go poop. She's been asleep all night. But it's like, I need to go right now. There's this urgency to her, and it's just kind of, you know, the dog's whimpering, the kids crying. You ask yourself, like, what do they need right now? Sometimes it's really obvious, like, oh, she needs to go pee. Sometimes you're like, okay, she's peed. She said water. Same thing with the kid. The baby, it's like, okay, does he have gas? Is he hungry? He just. Fate. Okay, does he need to do this? I was like, what does he need to be held in this other way? Like, what do you need? And you are taking care of that being. And so you're asking yourself, what do they need right now? Now, as they get older, you might be able to ask them, like, what do you need right now? You seem like you're upset or something, like, what's. You know? But early on, you're just trying to figure it out, and that's how you can be with yourself. What do I need right now? What do I need? And just asking that question starts to break the pattern of attacking yourself. So share down below, which of these questions are you going to practice? What are you finding most valuable from this? And until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.