A short YouTube monologue by Dr. Aziz listing three reasons why people who consider themselves "nice" are often indecisive: (1) they lack awareness of their own wants due to ignoring their needs, (2) they defer authority to others and imagine others' opinions, and (3) they avoid the discomfort inherent in choosing, leading to procrastination and persistent indecision.
Three reasons why nice people are indecisive. And number three is the most important one for you to change. Now, number one is you don't know what you want because you have a history of ignoring your needs, downplaying your desires. And so when someone says, what do you want? Or you ask yourself, what do I want? I don't know. You don't have access to that right now. Not yet. Number two, you've given your authority to others in life. So when you think about what do I want? You actually imagine a committee of people. What would mom think? What would dad think? What would friends think? What everyone think. And it's a big mixture of different ideas. And you're like, oh, someone is going to get upset whether they even know it or it's just imaginary. Now you are paralyzed because of what they would think. And reason number three is the biggest one is that decisions are uncomfortable. There's an inherent discomfort in saying no to that, yes to that. You've cut something off of the decision, Right? And if you have a hesitant pattern as a nice person of just avoiding discomfort in general in your life, and you just avoid the decision, you kick the can down the road, I'll do it later when it's more comfortable. And then you end up never doing the thing. And then you end up never really deciding.
