3 Steps To Upgrade Your Identity (And Why You Want To)

Welcome. In this video, you're going to learn three steps to upgrade your identity. You're also going to discover why you want to upgrade your identity, what it will bring to your life and how to do it. You ready? So, upgrading your identity, let's demystify that because it can sound kind of abstract, like, why do I. What, why do I need to do that? Your identity is how you see yourself. The stories you have about you, what you're capable of and what you're not capable of, what you're allowed to have in life and deserve and not allowed don't deserve. Are you attractive or unattractive? Smart or stupid, capable at work, capable of having a business, capable of earning money or incapable? Are you desirable as a friend or undesirable? Are you strong or are you weak? These are all facets of your identity. And I guarantee you that you have at least three or four areas of your life where your identity is maybe suboptimal, or you have a story about yourself that isn't serving you, that is limiting you, that tells you that you're not capable, you're not enough, you're not something. And this is how you shift it. And this is, you know, of course, why you want to shift it is because your identity creates your reality. If you think you're unattractive, you're not going to approach people for dating and relationships or friendships. You know, if you think you're not attractive and desirable as a friend, if you think you're boring, you're not going to speak up, you're not going to share, you're not going to let people into your world. And as a result, you will have poverty. And I don't just mean monetary poverty. I mean you will have a poverty of connection, of relationships, of love, and you might feel more isolated and you might suffer more, not just from the lack of connection or the results in your life, but having a limiting story about being a boring person or unlikable or unlovable, that's just painful. So believing that identity in itself is painful and can become extremely toxic when people go into more severe depressions, they have just are overwhelmed by very toxic, negative identity stories. So let's not go there. Let's shift this now three steps. You ready? Step number one is you identify the old story, the old identity. You name it, you find a sentence that describes it. Because a lot of these identities are subconscious. They're just kind of vaguely on the edge of your awareness, or you're not really verbalizing them consciously. They're Just kind of there, but they're steering you. So what are you saying to yourself? What is the story specifically that's messing you up? And you want to pick one area of your life, right? You know, because you can have an identity in all these different areas, as I gave examples of earlier. So what's an area of your life that could stand an identity upgrade, you know, because it's not going the way that you want? So maybe it is in your social confidence. I'm not interesting or engaging. You know, people don't want to be my friend or people want to date me. That's more in the romantic area. Right? So. So let's just go with I'm not interesting or engaging. I'm boring. My life is not interesting. I'm not engaging to others. You know, so you're gonna kind of probe around there like that until you find the wording that really seems like it hits it. Okay, that's step one, and that's important. So step two, after you've done that, and even right now, as you're watching this, you can maybe start to think of what that is. Step two is what behaviors would defy this identity? What behaviors would defy this identity? So, for example, if I'm boring, I'm not interesting, what kind of actions would be in direct opposition to that identity? Well, maybe I'd share more. Maybe I'd share a story about myself. Maybe I'd take up a little bit of space in conversation. Maybe I would spontaneously share without someone, you know, asking and probing and kind of pulling it out of me. Maybe I would share differently. Maybe I would share with enthusiasm. Because if, you know, it's interesting, you share very differently than if you're like, this is probably boring. I'm sorry. Here I go. Right? So what behaviors? And so step two is to identify those behaviors and then guess what. Do them. Do them a lot. Do what scares you until fear has no power to stop you. It's. It is. It sounds simple, and it is completely transformative. And I've seen this happen with hundreds of people through my group programs and even more through books and online events, and I think thousands of people. This is formulaic. If you do this, it will start to transform your identity. Then the third step to help things along, to speed up the process, is to consciously verbalize the new identity and have that part of your awareness. So, for example, you would say, what's the new identity? The old identity is I'm not interesting or I'm boring. What's the new identity? I'M fascinating. I'm a fascinating person. I'm a highly engaging person. Again, what's the right wording? The wording is whatever, like, lights you up, whatever resonates for you, whatever feels good, okay? So you come up with that. And then when you do the action, remember from step two, you do the thing that's in defiance, the identity. You name it, Say, oh, look, I just told a story about myself that's just like me. I'm a highly engaging person. Right? Or another way to say it is, this is what I do. I just told a story about myself. Yeah, that's what I do. This is what I do. And then name the identity. I'm a fascinating person. Name. You might think this is crazy. I'm walking around saying to myself, I'm a fascinating person. Like, well, if you don't consciously help it along, you unconsciously stay stuck forever. So if it seems weird to you or, ah, that's strange, is it stranger? Is that strange? Or is it strange or weird to limit your life forever and die with regret because you didn't want to do something slightly out of the cultural norm? I don't know. That's a choice I made a long ago. It's like, wait a minute, I see where the cultural field is and it's telling me to be stuck, isolated, afraid, buy products that I don't need, hate people that I don't from different places because they're dangerous. Be afraid of everything and every illness and every chance of death. And, you know, trust your government and major authorities and industries and big corporations wholeheartedly. And don't ask questions and spend most of your time on entertainment. That's what the cultural feel. Any junk food and fast food and be sedentary. That's what the cultural field and the dominant norm is. You know, Krishnamurti said it is no measure of sanity to be well adjusted to a sick society. So, you know, choose what you want. But I'm going to choose to do something a little unusual. It's going to set me free. And that's been working pretty well for me in my life, and I hope it does for you. I know if you've been following this channel and practicing these things, I'm sure it does for you as well. So claim that and say, yeah, it's a little unusual, but I'm going to literally say these things to myself and start to help that process along. So to recap, number one is identify the old identity story in whatever area of your life that's not serving you right. Number two, what are the actions, the specific actions I could take that defy this identity? Then number three, come up with what's the new story? What's the new identity? And then as you take the action say, yeah, that's just like me and reclaim that identity. And that's why it's different than an affirmation, because an affirmation is just you say the new thing, but there's no behavior, there's no action. So when you take the action and then like claim it, like, oh, look, I just did that, it rings true because you just did it. Otherwise it rings kind of hollow. And that's why people struggle with affirmations. So share down below what you're finding most valuable, what is your new identity statement? And until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.