3 Tips To Be More Interesting In Conversations

Do you want to be more interesting in conversations? In fact, you often feel self conscious or criticize yourself maybe thinking you're not interesting enough, you're boring. And then what does that do? Maybe that stops you from sharing. Maybe you're like, oh, they don't want to hear that story. Or you downplay things in your life. And then lo and behold, people don't seem that interested. And then you're like, ah, you know, I knew it. And then you look at that person over there who seems really charming and they're telling a story and everyone's hanging on the edge of your seat and you're like, ugh, right? If so, trust me, I know what that feels like. And there is another way. And you don't have to become this, you know, crazy world's most interesting man who's adventured across the seas. And it's just like you can be you living your life and become highly engaging and interesting to others. And I'm going to share three tips in this video and if you want to take it further, definitely click down below in the description. Right now we're doing a super early bird for my next virtual event called Supremely Confident Conversation Master. It's a three day immersion where you're going to learn in depth how to rework your psychology inside to feel more confident talking to anyone. Comfortable in your own skin, easily able to approach whoever you want. And we're going to be learning and practicing and playing and mastering the subtle skills of conversation confidence, how to know what to say next, how to keep the conversation going, how to be more interesting. Right? So this is just a little bit of what we're going to be spending three days doing. And if you're watching this video that shows me that you got the Internet, which means you can attend because this is a virtual event and you can attend from anywhere. So click down below in the description. Get your ticket, which is 80% off right now during the super, super early bird. Trust me, you don't want to miss this event. It's going to shift your entire way of how you connect and communicate with others. So what are the three tips to becoming more interesting in conversations? Tip number one, stop telling yourself you're not interesting. Like this is a bad habit. You gotta knock it off, right? We have puppies, one puppy and one older dog and I'm a big fan of Cesar Millan. And one of the things that he does, if you don't know him, he's the dog whisperer. And he has this correction sound when a Dog's doing something he doesn't want, he's like. And he, like, makes this little sound. And like, sometimes he touches them. And sometimes when my kids are fighting and I'll playfully go over to one of them and go. And then they laugh because it's like, oh, that's what you do with the dogs. Ha, ha ha. I was like, ha, ha ha. If only, if only I could train my children like dogs. It's so much easier with dogs than with children. I'm just gonna say. Anyway, that's what you gotta do to yourself the next time you're like, no, I'm not very interesting. And look, you might be subtly communicating this to yourself a lot. Like every time you're in a conversation, when you're watching someone else right before you go join a conversation, so you gotta start to notice that self diminishing, critical, I'm not that interesting. Whenever that comes up, like, poke your own neck and intervene and say, no, no, no, no. Because as long as you're doing that, you know, perception equals reality. If you perceive you're not interesting, that is going to, in a thousand and one ways, influence your body language, your voice tone, what you choose to share or don't share, how you choose to share it. Everything, your energy system, everything gets diminished. So you got to knock that off. Right? And that's what we do at the event. The whole first day is uprooting that pattern so you can be bigger and bolder. Right? Okay, so number one is stop telling yourself that you're boring. Number two is to go off script. Because one of the challenges I see is someone's like, you know, their social anxiety, niceness, you're nervous, you're like, well, I'm just going to go. I'm going to ask the questions that I know are safe. So where do you guys live? Oh, that's cool. How long have you lived there? Oh, neat. Do you like it? Oh, oh, that's fun. There's a restaurant down on the corner there I've been to. Right. And Right. Why is that boring? Well, I'm not saying that talking about the restaurant you like is not going to be engaging, but it's just people have had that conversation a thousand times. How many times have you answered? What do you do? Where do you live? Or, you know, where are you from? Or whatever. It's like they've had that conversation a thousand and one times. So what does that mean to go off script? Well, just think about all the scripted questions that you typically ask. Put them aside and Ask different ones. And you could even brainstorm what some of these might be ahead of time. Because in the moment you're like, I don't know what to say. Well, not that you have a new script that you have to follow, but just to brainstorm. I used to do this all the time, especially when I was trying to meet new people. I wanted to go talk to women I didn't know. I wanted to walk into groups of all, you know, men and women, just be able to engage with people. And I'd be in the outside, in the moment, just be like, I don't even know what I'd say. I'm so anxious. So I would go home and I had a journal, and I would write out in the journal, okay, remember that moment when you were at the supermarket and you saw that woman? Like, literally, what could you go say in that moment? And I would just come up with five or ten things that I could say. Nothing crazy, no weird pickup lines, just basic stuff. Do you know how I met a woman who became my girlfriend for six months at a Whole Foods when I was in my 20s? I walked past, she was in the bulk aisle and she had a little basket on the ground next to her. She was getting some item, and I pointed at the thing in her car and I said, what's that? Right. So this doesn't have to be rocket science. If we overly complexify it, it's because we're scared. And we're trying to find a way to approach someone with no risk, which is never going to happen. You're going to risk. You're risking the chance that someone might not like you. So when you go off script and you ask a question, what do you really want to know about that person? You know, ask them questions, talk about the environment that you're in. Talk about what you really want to know, veer away from the tried and true path, and you're going to have a much more engaging conversation. Okay, tip number three is actually surprising, which is share more about you. Now, I know there's how to Win Friends and Influence People, a famous book by Dale Carnegie. And he's kind of like, hey, just keep the conversation focused on them. Ask them questions, be curious, and they're going to love you. And they're going to leave the conversation. Be like, man, he was such a fine young gentleman, and they're not going to know one thing about you. But man, they're going to feel good. Because everyone likes when the focus is on them. And there is some truth to that. If you can, you know, being. Asking questions, being curious is a really great way to connect with people. However, you not sharing about you very much at all. The person doesn't feel like they have much connection with you either. They might have a bit of a positive regard at first, after the second interaction or the third interaction, like something's missing and that's actually missing for both of you. So for them, it's missing because they don't feel like they. There's something they can, like, hold on to that they know. And I don't mean a bunch of data about you. Right? Like, I am 29 years old and I work, you know, work here and I have one child. Like, that's okay if that comes out, but you'll learn this at the event. We talk about the layers of connection, and it's not just safe personal data. It's like emotion and meaning. So maybe you do. Maybe you are 29, you do have a son. Instead of being like, here's my data, you say, you know, man, I just love. Let's say they talk about baseball and you say, oh, you know, I don't actually watch much professional baseball, but you know, what I love more than anything is playing catch with my son with a baseball. In fact, we got him this mitt the other day and we loved it and we oiled it up and we just played for like two hours out in the yard. It was amazing. And now you shared with that person. And now the biggest thing I see with people with social anxiety is they're like, oh, I don't know if they're going to be interested about me and my kid and baseball. Maybe they're not going to like that. Or trying to connect without any risk of someone disliking something or not being interested in something. It's never going to happen. You got to take the risk. You got to put it out there. Because, yeah, the person might be like, huh, whatever, I don't like children. You know, like, that's a fascinating conversation. Really? Tell me more. But, you know, or they just kind of, oh, neat, whatever. And you're like, oh, they didn't like that. I guess that's not interesting. No, no. That just didn't land with them. Because you could share that exact same thing with someone else. Maybe that person has a kid and they're like, oh, that sounds so fun, man. Playing with kids is best. Right? How old is your kid? Oh, mine's a similar age. Oh, you know, we love to play soccer. And the next thing you know, you guys are besties, right? So don't put the reality in someone else's hands. It's your reality. Is it interesting to you? Then it's interesting. Own it. Share it. So there is, as you can tell, we're just getting started. I would love to invite you to come to this event. Click down below. And we're going to share more in this channel. Tons of videos on how to become more conversationally confident. And the next best thing to do is take it to the next level with the event. Either way, know that you are not stuck. This is a skill. Social fitness. It's a muscle. You got this. Until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.