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Dr. Aziz shares three moves to look more confident right now: greet people first and step toward them, smile warmly, and say goodbye with a direct closing line. He draws from a decade of living with social anxiety.
Dr. Aziz shares three moves to look more confident right now: greet people first and step toward them, smile warmly, and say goodbye with a direct closing line. He draws from a decade of living with social anxiety.
In the next three minutes, I want to share three super simple social tips that you can use instantly, immediately, no matter where you are, that are going to make you appear radically more confident. And the benefit of this is, it's not fake. You're actually going to feel more confident as you do them. It's what confident people naturally do. And I just got finished getting a sandwich here and I realized I did all three of these things. Interacting with the person inside of the store without even thinking about it. And there was a time in my life where that would have not been the case. I would have been like, awkwardly worried. Like, I hope they don't talk to me during the interaction. So here are the three tips. They're gonna sound super simple, but I promise you, if you do them, you will feel more confident, other people will perceive you more confident, and your life will be more awesome. Okay, ready? Tip number one is greet them, be the first to say hi, and move towards somebody. So instead of waiting passively for someone to come say hi to you, move towards them and practice various greetings that are just casual, like, hey, how's it going? How you doing? What's up? It's simple stuff, whatever your language is, move towards the person. First, say the hi. So if you're in work, move towards the person. Say, how's it going, John? Right? You don't wait for them to come to you. And it's not just the greeting, it's telegraphing, it's communicating. It's a high confidence move. Right, like, I move towards you. The low confidence, contracted state is like, don't look at me versus like, here I am. Hello. That's what you're communicating. So greet them warmly, be the first to do it, move right towards them. The second thing is flash of a smile. Now, I'm gonna try to distill this down quickly, but when you're in survival mode and scared and socially anxious, you're so absorbed in yourself and like, am I good enough? Are they going to like me? And when you just flash them a smile, you kind of remember, like, hey, I'm giving something to this person. My presence is a gift. I'm just going to smile at them. And it's again, it's kind of like, oh, I'm not confident enough to do that. I'm not that kind of person. What if they think this or that? And it's like, just set all that aside and flash them a smile. So you're like, hey, how's it going? You know, and what it's doing is you're beaming warmth, you're putting them at ease. When you get out of your own self absorption of social anxiety and just focus on their person for a minute, you realize that when you flash someone a smile and you greet them, it warms their heart and it puts them at ease. And the third thing, super simple, say goodbye directly. And you add a little bit of like, have a great rest of your day, have a good weekend, you know, I'll see you next week. Just something at the end. And again, these sound so trivial. It's like, what's the point of doing these things? But actually if you stack all three of them, that person's going to leave the interaction being like, I like that guy. Or they're going to perceive you as like, oh, that guy seems more confident. And these are so simple, you can do them. And if at first you hear this and you're like, I don't know if I can pull that off, you probably got some stories up there, who am I? People aren't going to like me. And if you really want to dig deeper and just rip out those stories by the root, check out my course, which is Social Mastery. It's a part of Confidence University. Click the description down below. You get learn all about that. But these simple things, if you don't get stuck in the stories and you just apply them, you'll instantly notice a difference. So that's my invitation for you, that's my challenge for you, is to actually go apply this. Go out to some place like this and apply this. Now that's the three minutes I promised. I'm going to share one last story though. I know I'm going over my three minutes here. There was a time in my life when I lived in Santa Barbara, when I was just starting to discover all the social confidence stuff. I lived in a cage of social anxiety for a decade. I didn't think very highly of myself. I didn't think people would want to talk to me. And I started to take the risk to say, okay, I'm gonna practice this stuff. I'm afraid that secretly no one's ever gonna like me, but I gotta do something or else I'm gonna stay in this cage forever. So I was desperate and I was willing. And I would spend time almost every day, maybe four times a week, five times a week, I'd go to places like this, strip malls. There was a Costco, there was a Starbucks, there was a Borders, which I think is out of business now. I forget what else was in that complex. Baja Fresh and I would just walk to these different stores and talk to people and say hi and try these things. And especially with women, my heart would beat out of my chest beforehand. But I needed to learn this stuff. And you can, too. But the question is, are you going to go out to a place like this? Are you going to walk down a busy street and say hi to people? Are you going to apply what you're learning in this channel? Or is it just entertainment? Now, I'm happy to entertain you, but that's not what I'm here to do. And that's probably not what you're here for as well. So put down in the comments below. What actions are you taking? What are you learning from applying these three tips in this video? And until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
