3 Ways To Boost Your Self-Esteem

Do you struggle with self esteem? Most people do and they don't know it. They haven't used that term to describe it. But they experience the symptoms of lower self esteem. Like they compare themselves a lot to people. They feel uncomfortable in their own skin. They have social anxiety. They're too pleasing or nice or accommodating. They're trying to get people to like them. They feel very unsafe and unsettled if someone might be upset or disappointed with them. And they also feel like they're less than others. My opinion doesn't matter. My perspective isn't as good as yours. They're not gonna like me. I'm not physically attractive. I'm not des. These are all experiences of low self esteem, even if you've never used that term. So in this video you're gonna learn three very specific ways to boost your self esteem now. And the fantastic news is you can actually raise your self esteem very quickly. Now let me make a quick distinction here between self compassion and self esteem because it's gonna be important. Self compassion is a beautiful antidote to self hatred. The inner critic, where you accept yourself, you appreciate who you are. I have tons of videos. I have a whole book about that called on my own side. You could go deeper down that self est is related, but slightly different. Self esteem is actually earned. Self compassion is. It's a gift, it's a birthright. You are a valid, worthy human just by being here. That's self compassion. You can think of that almost like feminine expansive, nurturing. Self esteem might have a more masculine quality even though it's for men and women, which is you earn it, you build it. Why? Because esteem esteem means to value something. I esteem it highly means I value it highly. How do we build value where we have to add some energy into something to make it more valuable. Right. So the way that you do that you value yourself highly comes down to one thing. So I'm going to give you three specific ways to boost your self esteem in this video. But after you know this one thing, there's a 500 ways you could boost your self esteem. So that's what's the most exciting thing about this video is you're going to learn not just the three specific ways I'm going to share, but the whole methodology that you could then use in 500 different ways. So what's the one thing that builds our self esteem? It's doing hard things or uncomfortable things. Doing anything uncomfortable on purpose will boost your self esteem. That's the hack. That's the secret and let's go from there. So there's three ways I'm going to suggest. Number one is to find something that is physically uncomfortable and go do it. You might say, how is that going to build my self esteem? Like I'm nervous around people socially. What is it lifting weights going to make me have better self esteem? Yeah. And not because you get the abs and the muscles, although that might help too. It's because you feel differently about yourself when you get up and you do that workout routine. It doesn't have to be weightlifting, it could be yoga or dancing or going for a run, whatever you want to do. And it doesn't have to be a physical demanding thing that's like totally, totally wrecking your body. It could be a walk in the morning. I remember I had a client that I worked with who was pretty sedentary and she was working with me with social anxiety and niceness. That wasn't about her physical health or anything. But as part of our work together, one of the things I look at with people is how they start their day. How are they setting themselves up to do something different than just attacking themselves and feeling bad? And so she started to actually go for walks in the morning and she would listen to some of the content from the Mastermind program that I have. And so she'd walk and listen and she's like, wow, I feel good. I feel good after doing that. And then she ended up running a little bit. Right. So you put a little bit of focus on doing something where there's a part inside of you is like, oh, it's more comfortable just to stay in bed. Oh, it's more comfortable just to avoid that thing and you override that and you do the uncomfortable thing. And honestly, I don't care what it is, it's just something that you can do. And when you do that, you start to instantly like that day feel differently. My favorite version of this is the cold shower. Because the cold shower has all kinds of other benefits of you building courage and facing an uncomfortable thing that actually will translate very quickly into doing uncomfortable things and building yourself a certain in so many areas. So that would be my numero uno suggestion, is take a cold shower, boost your self esteem. Number two is going to be to change your inner coach to boost your self esteem. So many people have what I call a toxic coach. And if you don't get control of that and you are submissive to that voice and obey that hyper critical narrative about yourself, it will limit your life, make you chronically feel Bad about yourself and just be a dead weight to your self esteem. So the way that you do that is you fire that toxic coach and you say, I'm going to hire, I'm going to become, I'm going to choose a better coach. I guide people through this. And I have a free mini course. It's called five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. If you haven't checked it out, you should go check it out now. Go to my website, dreziz.com. it's right there on the homepage. Just enter your email and I'll give, I'll send you the first video. And it's all about how to change that inner coach. But essentially it's changing the way you talk to yourself. And you're modeling like what would a healthy coach say? Think of sports, think of just life. And you know, the way you're talking to yourself is probably pretty garbagey, but we just do it like, well, I don't have control. That's just how it is. Why does it have to just be that way? Right? Well, I tried once and I couldn't change it. Okay. I tried to swing a golf club once and I didn't nail it 400 yards down the fairway. Like what? You got to practice, you got to develop skill. But it's a very important skill, arguably more valuable than a super long golf drive. No offense to my golf fans, but probably the way you talk to yourself is going to be a more important, universally applicable life skill. Okay, that's number two. Change the way you treat yourself. Number three, way to boost your self esteem is just clean up the garbage. What is the garbage? Well, we all have at least one thing that we're doing. Maybe several at a time. This makes you feel terrible about yourself. Some vice, some addiction, some bad habit, some, oh, I did it again. And you go into this shame spiral and then you got to climb out of the shame pit and then you do it again and you go up and down and up and down. You want to just free yourself of that. And so you make a conscious choice, I'm going to address this thing. Not all of them at once. You got 10 things that are hemorrhaging your self esteem. Just pick one, pick one, maybe even pick a smaller one. Don't pick the biggest thing, pick a small one and say, I'm going to focus on this. I'm going to clean this up. Maybe I need to get some support. Maybe I need to get some help. Maybe they do something online or learn about it or you know, do some therapy or something that's going to help me to clean that, to change that pattern. Because it's really hard to feel good about yourself if regularly you're doing this thing that makes you feel awful about yourself. And the thing you're doing might not be objectively awful, but you just feel bad, you feel out of balance, you feel out of control, you feel ashamed. And so something to clean up. Let me just free myself of this. So maybe it's porn use, maybe it's eating junk food, maybe it's binge watching or doom scrolling late at night and getting bad sleep and then you feel guilty. Oh, I don't have control. And like, well take control, right? Because yeah, that's what is that. It's back to the first one, doing something uncomfortable, doing something hard. But man, that cleans up. And if you just, just taking one thing, cleaning up one set of garbage will do wonders for your self esteem. And as I said, doing anything uncomfortable on purpose, especially instead of in the service of something that's important to you or something that you value is going to automatically boost your self esteem. So let's share down in the comments below. What are some ways that you have found to boost your self esteem so we can all learn together and grow together. And that's one really important thing to remember as you're watching this video is you're not alone. I mean hundreds of millions of humans have like social anxiety disorder, so that automatically is low self esteem. We're talking a couple billion humans that have struggles with self esteem. So you're definitely not alone. Nothing to be ashamed of. And you can change this so much faster than you think. So thanks for being with me today. And until you speak again, you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.