4 Keys To Cure Social Anxiety!

Can you cure social anxiety? The answer, my friend, is yes. In fact, in this video I'm going to share four keys that you can apply today to cure social anxiety. I'm the founder of the center for social confidence, Dr. Aziz, and I've been obsessed with social anxiety and confidence for the last 20 years of my life. And helping people, doing that in therapy and then coaching and groups and books and teaching online. And I've discovered that there are ways that you can rapidly increase your confidence and free yourself from social anxiety. I'm going to share the 30,000 foot view of that exact process with you today. And if you want to take it further, I highly recommend you get Confidence University, which is my training system which will guide you step by step in the weeds on exactly how to do all this stuff. Okay, you ready? Here we go. First things first, before I share, is there some part of you is like, nah, I don't know about all that. I mean, I don't. Come on, cure it. I mean it goes away entirely. Look, anxiety is a part of being a human, right? You can go into an anxious state, you can go into an excited state, or you can go into a sad state. It's just part of being human. So does that mean you never, ever, ever, ever feel anxiety socially again? No, but I mean social anxiety is not a part of your experience, it's not part of your identity, it's not a huge part of your daily life. It's just like, oh yeah, once in a while, sure, I feel that. But you know, talk to those new people, speak up at work. When I show up to that meeting, like, eh, or maybe you feel a little bit of nerves like, oh, I'm nervous about that. And you show up and you deliver and it's no big deal that that is what's possible. So how do we get to that? Four things. The first two are the fundamentals. The second two are, I'd say, more advanced. You ready? The first of these two fundamentals is bold action. Action is the key to liberating yourself from social anxiety. Confidence is a byproduct of, of action. So when you have social anxiety, you've developed a pattern of avoidance, right? Oh, they're not going to like me. Oh, that's not going to go well. So I'm not going to do it. You must retrain yourself to perceive the world differently. Because remember, the source of social anxiety is a perception that there's something lacking in you. And then therefore people aren't going to like, you aren't going to want to hire you aren't going to approve of you. They're going to reject you in some way because you don't deserve. The love at the root of social anxiety is actually a self esteem issue. And so the way that you have to change that perception is through action. Because you say, that person's not going to like me. And then you go talk to them and you discover something new actually occurs. Your mind's predictions, your safety police's predictions aren't actually true. Whoa. And you could tell yourself that a thousand times from the safety of your room, but you, you show yourself that once and everything changes. Now, usually it's not once, you gotta do it repeatedly, but that's the part of the action that's consistent and repeated. You also discover that even if that person does reject you, you can handle it. We'll get to that in step number two. Okay, so bold action consistently. Now you don't have to go do the craziest, scariest things. I'm a huge believer in gradual exposure. This has been backed up by over 50 to 70 years of research and behavioral psychology and other places. Gradual exposure. I call it the five pound weight. You don't have to go run out there and do everything that blows you away. Just little incremental small gains. Leaning in 2%. Oh, I'm nervous. Okay, you can do that. Okay, that's too much today. All right. Right. Think about, like, building strength. You don't just go to the gym, you haven't worked out in years or ever, you know, load up like three 45 pound plates and be like, let's go. No, you're going to choke yourself. Right? So you pick up the five pound weight, you pick up the seven pound weight, the ten pound weight, whatever works for you. And you build up progressively. That's the bold action piece. If you're trying to break out of social anxiety and you're unwilling to take consistent action that makes you uncomfortable, or it's outside of your comfort zone, it will never work. So that's the first fundamental that you must get. The Second fundamental is OMOs, which stands for on my own side. If you try to take a bunch of bold action, imagine this. You're like, oh, I'm so nervous they're gonna reject me. And in your head you're like, you piece up, you terrible. Go do it, you weakling, you. Yeah. And you're like, okay, please don't beat me up anymore. And you go over and talk to those people and you're like, how's it going? Right. You're in such a scared state. And then they're like, we don't like you. And you're like, ah, do it. Right. How long are you going to sustain that? You know, like two days. Right. So. And you might have had that experience. Two days, two weeks, maybe even two months. You push, you push and then eventually it's like, I can't sustain it. What's missing? Almost you're not on your own side. Getting on your own side means getting control of this toxic inner coach. Challenging that critic. I just spent. We had a group call last night that just went like three hours. And we spent a good half of that call on helping people, training people to completely transform the voice in their head, that inner critic. So they get control. So they're the parent. The critic acts up and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second. We're not going to talk to me that way. What's going on? You're scared, you're upset, okay? And learning how to talk to yourself differently is absolutely essential. This is a skill. This isn't something you're just born knowing how to do. Like you can learn how to do this, but you got to practice it. It's a skill. So getting on own side, learning how to take care of yourself, learning how to regulate your nervous system when you're freaking out inside, it's almost like two wings of the confidence eagle. I like that. Two wings of the confidence eagle. Right. You got bold action, but you also have to know how to be on your own side and soothe and take care of yourself. Right. It's like yang and yin, masculine and feminine. Like we need these two sides, these two polarities inside of you. So if you're just trying to power through all the time, you need to have some of that balance of taking care of yourself and nurturing yourself and self acceptance and self compassion. That's the other part of OMOs. So those are the two fundamentals. If you want to like get clear, specific guided training, Definitely go to TheConfidenceUniversity.com and you will learn step by step. That's exactly what I'm teaching in those courses. There's multiple courses inside of that, in that university, from the Ultimate Confidence foundation, where we guide you through these processes to social mastery, dating mastery, career acceleration, where you apply it to these key areas of your life. So those are the two fundamentals. I'm going to say start with those. I'm going to mention the two advanced things that occur as you keep practicing these fundamentals. These are things that you must do as well to really overcome social anxiety. So number three, which is a more advanced one, is you need to upgrade your identity, upgrade how you see yourself. Remember I said at the root of social anxiety, is there actually a self esteem issue? Because you're like, I'm not that much or I don't know about me, and people didn't think I was very good growing up, so I guess I don't think much of myself or like that needs to change. You got to upgrade your identity, upgrade how you see yourself. Realize that you can reinvent yourself and you can show up as a new person. You can like who you are, and you need to upgrade that significantly. Otherwise you're just kind of trying to power through, but you haven't solved it at its root. And then the fourth thing, which is also an advanced technique, is becoming unapologetically you, 100% unapologetically you. This is building up your muscle of authenticity, understanding your rules, living in your own reality. And there is so much more that I teach, whether it's in a virtual event called Not Nice Live, I have other coaching programs. There's so much more I could go into those things that I really unpack with people. But I want you to know those are the broad strokes and you can definitely get started right away with Confidence University. Keep watching these videos. You'll notice now that you hear those strokes. When you watch these videos or you check out my podcast Shrink for the shy guy, you'll hear these themes again and again and again. Why? Because this is what works. So there's a lot in this video. You may want to watch it again and just get started. If you're like, oh, I'm not sure exactly what to do, just get started. Right? Because when's the best time to plant a tree? 20 years ago. When's the second best time to plant a tree? Right now. So share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable. Let's all grow together until we speak again. May I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.