7 BAD Things That Happen When You're TOO NICE

Did you know that bad things happen to you when you're nice? I know. I don't want to be the binger of bad news. And you might say, wait a minute, I'm being so nice so that people like me and good things happen. Actually, a lot more bad things happen than good things happen when you're too nice. I'm going to share what some of those are. I'm going to share seven in this video and there's way more than seven, but I'm going to share some of the seven big ones. So watch this. Notice if you're already experiencing these things in your life and that might be an indicator that something needs to change. And I'll share later in this video about how to make those changes inevitable and determine that they are going to happen. And that's going to be through joining me in a virtual online event, which you can find out more in the description below and also share more at the end of this video. Okay, seven bad things that happen when you're too nice. Number one is you get taken advantage of. It sounds unfortunate, like I wish the world wasn't that way, but it is. And it doesn't mean the people doing it are necessarily malicious or bad either. It's just people treat you how you train them to treat you. And so if you are always a yes, okay, I'll take it on. Yes, I'll do that for you. Yes, I'll give this to you. Yes, I'll do whatever you want. People kind of grow accustomed to that and doesn't mean they're bad. They just like, oh yeah, she always does that for me. She's always the one to sacrifice herself. He's always the one to stay late and do the extra work. Just give him some more. He does it all the time anyway and you get taken advantage of. Have you experienced that? One Number two, bad thing that can happen if you're too nice is you can get bullied. And this is even worse than getting taken advantage of. This is like being straight up ridiculed and bullied doesn't have to mean like, you know, 10 year olds on the playground going na na na na na. I mean it could be you might have got bullied when you were young, but as an adult, bullying happens in like more subtle ways. It could be teasing you, it could be putting you like kind of one down or one upping you in situations, kind of over overriding you, talking over you, gaslighting you, mocking you in subtle ways. And then if you try to speak up, they're like, whoa, we're just joking. You need to chill out. And these weird mind games. And the nicer you are, that means the less assertive you are. You don't have that power to say, whoa, whoa. That's unacceptable for you to talk to me that way. Like, that kind of confrontation freaks you out. So you don't have those boundaries. You don't speak up, and then you get bullied more. That's the second bad thing that can happen to you if you're too nice. The third bad thing that happens to you if you're too nice is you get confused in relationships. Why are you confused in relationships? Because you don't know what you want. And maybe you do actually know what you want, but it bumps up against the rules of how you're supposed to be. So maybe I don't want to be with this person anymore. I don't want to date this person. Oh, I can't want that. That makes me bad and mean. I just don't know what I want. I'm confused. Right. Or maybe you don't want to break up with them, but something's. You need to, like, something's not working. The dynamic between you two. Maybe you need to change something. And it could be real practical, like, hey, we're spending too much time. I need a little bit more space. Or when we talk about this topic, it kind of wears thin on me, and I want to talk about other stuff, too. Or a thousand and one nuances that you got to be able to communicate if you want to have a thriving relationship, but you don't if you're the nice person. And so you just get confused. I don't know. I don't know. And you start to feel more trapped. You start to feel less alive in the relationship. That's an unfortunate one. I experienced that one a lot. Have you experienced that one? The fourth bad thing that can happen to you from being too nice is the effects of suppressing your emotions. You get bottled up. Then bottled up can feel like a lot of different things. It can feel like internal pressure where you just want to feel like you're going to explode. Sometimes maybe you do when no one's around and, like, you're driving and you're just like, rage monster comes out. Maybe it's another kind of bottle up where it's just. It's so bottled up and you don't want it to explode. So you kind of just like go numb and you're just like, I don't know, I'm numb and you kind of, you do like you feel sort of nothing or empty or hollow or you're just like, you're not fully here. You're not fully alive. That's another effect. You can feel more depressed. There's all kinds of effects of suppressing. You get emotionally bottled up and then emotions can last forever and you can get stuck in them for weeks or months when they would normally just pass through you in like a couple minutes. Why? Because you're pushing everything down from being too nice. The fifth bad thing that happens to you if you're too nice is you can feel very isolated and alone. Even if you're around people, even if people love you. You might even have family or kids or friends or colleagues or whatever, people love you. Or you might not. You might have kind of withdrawn more and more. But even if you have that connection with others outside, inside, you feel more isolated and alone. Why? Because you are not able to fully connect. Because you have the mask on to some degree always. It might not be on 100%, but the mask is like, it's got an opacity. You can like turn it up or turn it down. And so it's there like 20%, 30%. And so, you know, your spouse even says, how are you doing? You say, I'm doing good. Oh, that's not bothering me. Or it's okay. And you just like, people don't really see you ever. You don't really feel fully authentic anywhere. Or maybe you do that in one relationship, but then a bunch of other relationships you don't. And that can feel lonely and isolating because you just aren't like you need that direct contact. You need to be deeply seen and known and you need to be able to do that with others. And you can't do that if you're playing the nice person role. The sixth bad thing that can happen to you if you're being too nice is anxiety or depression. We touched on depression a little bit earlier, but let me explain a little more. So when you're being more nice than you really are, and niceness is a fear based pattern of approval seeking, what happens is here's the real you and here's the nice person Persona you've presented, there's a rift and you start to go through your life being this person and the real you is just floating off somewhere, it's not being lived by you. And that leads to anxiety. Anxiety can come out in several different ways. One, just when someone is not living in congruence and authenticity, anxiety emerges. If someone's not living the path they're meant to live in this life. They can start getting panic attacks. Anxiety can show, it can mean it's a sign, it's a signal, it's telling you something. And the last thing you want to do is like medicate it and say, get rid of it. I just have a problem in my brain. It's an imbalance. Like it's a message. There's something that's trying to tell you right there. And we got to listen to that message. And that's what Carl Jung was a pioneer in. His depth psychology is like, let's listen to that message of those panic attacks. What is it trying to tell you about how you need to wake up and take control and start living your life now? Maybe that's the message inside. Another form of anxiety can emerge from suppressing anger. You push the anger down and that energy has to go somewhere and it comes out in random anxiety and fears about all kinds of things. Same thing. Pressing anger down or other emotions down or not being you can be depressing. And with that emotional bottled up, you can have more and more longer periods of feeling like depressed. And that leads to the seventh, a bad thing that can happen when you're too nice, which is just life loses its color. You feel less alive, feels like you're going through the motions. Every day feels kind of the same. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to hold up this Persona and to live in fear in the way that you are when you're being too nice and it's painful. And as depressing as this list is, there's more. I'm going to stop at 7. So we all don't just cry ourselves to sleep tonight. But there's a lot more. That's the depressing part. Here's the good news. None of those have to be your reality anymore because you can break free of being too nice. I've done it personally. I've helped thousands of people do it. You might have even read my book Not Nice. It's my best selling book. We sold copies all over the world. I mean we get email, letters, emails like daily. I have clients, I've worked with, live events I've run thousands of people that have reported that it has helped them transform their lives radically. I want to share that with you. We have an online virtual event coming up called Not Nice Live. You can get an early bird ticket. Click down below to get access now. And we're going to take all seven of these things and more and just shred them so you can emerge from that event like burn away everything that's not you and come out fresh, alive, powerful and confident as the most authentic, authentic version of you. So click down below for more information. I can't wait to see you at that event. Share down below in the comments what do you relate to from this video? What are you finding most valuable and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.