Dr. Aziz identifies eight beliefs that fuel shyness and social anxiety, from imagining rejection to seeking approval. Each one creates avoidance and self-judgment, but they're learned, not fixed. Challenge them and you can change how you show up.
What are the beliefs that make you shy? The things that you believe about yourself, about other people, about relationships, about life that make you feel hesitant, shy, self conscious, self doubting, or have social anxiety. That's what you're going to discover in this video. And by discovering these eight beliefs, you're going to be able to start to see them in action. And that's a huge step in breaking free, because then you can see this and say, hey, this isn't reality. This isn't how it is. This is a belief that I have, and it's a belief that I picked up. It's a belief that I learned, and therefore it's a belief that you can change. I'm Dr. Aziz. I'm the founder of center for Social Confidence. And I also know what it likes, what it's like to live in shyness. I spent many years of my life in shyness and social anxiety. So when I discovered these eight beliefs, I didn't discover them from my clients. I discovered them in myself. This is when I, way back when I found this sheet of paper. This is. I was thinking through some old notes, old journals, old things, and I found this. And it was me, like, discovering what is it that I believe, what is it that I tell myself that's making me shy and socially anxious? And then I was able to start to use this to help clients. I hope this serves you. This is some old stuff that, that, you know, when I was really, really stuck, I believed these things, and you might too. And now I don't believe these things. And many clients that I work with don't believe these things. And your life can be so much better and so much freer when this is no longer true for you. But here are the eight beliefs of shyness. Okay, Number one, I am not attractive, interesting, funny, smart, witty, calm, or cool enough. Now there's more adjectives I could put there. But something you're not something enough. Attractive, interesting, funny, any of that stuff's like, oh, I'm not that. It's a fundamental identity, belief about yourself. I am not things. And then as a result, you know, if you're not interesting, do you share about yourself? If you think you're not attractive, do you ask that person out if you think you're not funny? Do you make jokes? Right? No. You hold back, you hesitate, you avoid, you imagine rejection and disapproval. So it's stemming from a poor perception of your identity. And this is something that obviously can change and is not even true. But these beliefs aren't about truth. They're about a cage of social anxiety. Number two, others will not like me. You walk into a room, a social situation, a party, a gathering, a workplace environment, whatever, on some level you believe that others will not like you. Wouldn't that be interesting if your default belief was others will like me, Wouldn't the way you approach life be totally different? Can you see how that one belief can create shyness and social anxiety? Belief number three, if I talk about myself, others will think I'm self centered and annoying. I used to never share about myself because I didn't want to be that guy. I thought it would be egotistical and arrogant and narcissistic and so I didn't share and I didn't feel connected and people didn't feel that connected to me. Of course I didn't see that interesting because I wasn't sharing about myself. And then I told myself, you see, I'm not interesting. The spiral, huh? Okay, number four, in order to get people to like me, I should just talk about whatever they want to talk about and do whatever I think they will like. This bleeds into niceness and approval seeking and people pleasing, which I've said for years, that niceness is just a more polished form of social anxiety, a more adaptive form of social anxiety. You can do more in life, but it's the same thing with a different set of clothes on it. It's the same fears underneath. Number five, if I start a conversation with a stranger, they will think I'm creepy, annoying or weird. You relate to that one. There's a sense of like, I'm bothering people, my presence is annoying. It's a nuisance. Belief of shyness. Number six, there's something wrong with me. Normal people don't have this problem. You ever thought that or told yourself that? Number seven, I should be more outgoing, talkative or social. So then you're berating yourself, you're judging yourself, you feel bad about yourself, you feel shame about yourself for who you are. And I'm not good enough in these ways. And it's just crazy making, right? You tell yourself I'm not attractive, others will not like me if I start a conversation with a stranger. They'll think I'm a creepy weirdo and I should be more outgoing and talkative. Do you see how that's like crazy making you have these conflicting things? Of course you're not gonna go talk to people when you think all those other negative beliefs are true. Number eight, if a conversation goes poorly, like I don't know what to say or I feel awkward. It's my fault. That's belief number eight. Can you relate to these? Which of these do you relate to? All of them. Some of them. What stands out to you from this video? And again, as you hear all these, maybe you're starting to feel like, wait a minute, these are the beliefs of shyness. And then this is what I'm telling myself. Maybe that's not just my thought. Maybe that's not just me. Maybe it's a we. Maybe other people think this too. Maybe this is just a neg perception that I can buy into, but is not reality. And if so, what could be more true? What could be more possible for you? And if you want to break free from social anxiety fast, I highly recommend you go to drizes.com and get my five steps to unleash youh Inner Confidence video training absolutely free. You can also click down below in the YouTube description here to get access to that free training. There's no reason to stay stuck in this. My goal here is not for you to think that this is how it is or permanent. My goal is to hopefully inspire you to say, you know what, I can change these beliefs and you absolutely can. Thank you for being with me today. Until we speak, Yan, we have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.
