Short coaching video by Dr. Aziz aimed at high-achieving people who secretly struggle with social anxiety. He argues that people over-invest meaning in rare goal-achievement moments (which occupy a vanishing fraction of life) and instead should cultivate worth, presence, and the experience of desired feelings in everyday life. The talk closes with brief CTAs mentioning an ebook and books aimed at reinforcing confidence habits.
Chapters
99.99% of your life is this. What's happening right now, what you're doing when you're watching this video, what you're doing when you're doing the thing after watching this video or before watching this video, what is this? You're gonna find out in this little short video. Hopefully it's gonna open up your mind and give you a great sense of relief, liberation, freedom, and actually even joy right now. So here's the thing. Most people that I work with are high achieving, secretly socially anxious people. They're successful in a lot of ways. In fact, a common thing I hear is, you know, most people outside wouldn't even really know I have social anxiety because they have a strong Persona or front they put up and then they pull it off at work. And they pull it off and they've convinced everyone that they're maybe not the most confident person in the room, but at least, okay. But inside they're like. And they're premeditating and overthinking, and then afterwards they're beating themselves up and they're terrified of conflict. And all these things that are often beneath the surface now, what they focus on. And maybe you relate to this. I certainly have done this for many years in my life is like, okay, I'm just gonna, like, achieve a lot. And if I achieve a lot, then I'm finally gonna be good enough. Where people are gonna like me and because that's the fear of social anxiety, right, is people aren't gonna like me. People are gonna judge me, people are gonna think less of me. So if I become really badass by achieving a lot of things, then who would dislike me, right? That's the plan. So we go on that hustle to achieve now, that's fed into with our culture like crazy, right? You gotta be a somebody. You gotta earn this kind of money and look this way and do this thing and get this power and get these pedigrees, and then you're a somebody. And then you'll be attractive, right? So it really feeds into it with our culture. So off we go, trying to achieve. And what most people that I work with do and see if you do this as well, is we dangle the carrot out in front of us and say, okay, great, when I achieve goal X, then I can feel worthy and good enough and lovable and relief and peace. Maybe a little bit joy thrown in there, a little bit of gratitude, but only when I get to that goal, because right until then, I'm a loser. I don't Deserve anything yet. Now, it's not that explicit, but if you pay attention to the emotion, that's what's happening. What's the emotion? Constriction, stress, fear, insignificance. Just desperate need to make it work to. So I'm okay. Okay what? Okay enough as a person. That's really what it seems, right? It's like, I gotta be. I'm just to show that I'm okay. I'm not bad. I'm not worthless. I'm not unlovable. So we're hustling. We're striving to hit that goal to feel good. You know what? 99.99% of your life is not hitting the goal. Hitting that goal is going to be 0.01% of your life. And that's probably even generous. Maybe it's 0.001% of your life. There's going to be a moment where you hit the goal. Maybe even a moment where you realize you hit the goal. Whether it's a financial goal or a certain amount of friends or a certain experience you want to have, or getting married or having a date or whatever you want to achieve to show you're enough. And maybe because you want it too. And it just feels like it would be an amazing thing to experience. Great. Whatever the goal is, wherever it's coming from, that moment you're like, I did it. That victory moment, it's going to be 0.0000001% of your life. And then it's like, I did it. Yeah. I'm a somebody. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe you'll feel really good. Maybe it's a small goal. You maybe feel a little bit good. If it's a big goal, you might feel really good. You might feel high, and you might not. You might go, I did it. You know, maybe you found out if it's like a career goal or something, it could be related to your money or your finances. It could be you got a job or something. So you're reading the email, you're sitting at your computer. Maybe your posture is great. Maybe you're like sitting on the computer. You open up the email, it's like, congratulations, you've been accepted. We'd like to offer you a position. You're like, oh, okay, cool. I guess I'm gonna go make a sandwich. Maybe you tell somebody, hey, I did it. Yeah, maybe not. Maybe you downplay it to mute the energy. You're just like, yeah, I did it. Whatever. Maybe you tell nobody. Maybe you feel uncomfortable about telling People, you're like, oh, God, I don't want them to think I'm bragging or judging me. Which we're going to help completely eliminate in you the book called 100 Wins in 100 Days. You'll hear more about it very soon, but that's going to help you completely shift that confidence smashing habit of discounting and dismissing your wins, your victories, the things you could be grateful for and share with others. But in any case, can you see how even when we achieve the goal, we might not get much juice out of it, but let's say, best case scenario, you do get juiced by it, you share about it with other people and you feel great. That moment you achieve the goal is going to be such a short moment and then your life just continues on. Because life isn't a static thing. It's not one moment. Maybe you could say it's one eternal moment, right? But really it's this, like time just moves on. And what creates energy in us is not the getting of the goal, it's the living. It's the process. It's how you show up. It's how you engage. So let me ask you this question, which could be the most liberating thing of all. What do you hope to feel when you achieve the goal? Imagine that goal. What are you gonna feel when you get it? What do you think? Can you just tune into that almost just right now, imagining it, feeling it? Are you gonna feel excited? You're gonna feel happy? Are you gonna feel free? You're gonna feel joyful, you're gonna feel love, you're gonna feel like pumped up, puffed up? I'm a somebody. What are you gonna feel? And can you feel that right now? Are you feeling that right now? Why is the criteria. You determine the criteria. It's rules up here that determine what you can feel in here. No, I can't feel good now. I can't feel attractive now because I haven't lost all that weight yet. I'm gross. Do you see a problem with that? And if you don't, you gotta watch more of these videos and go to my website, drazeez.com you can get my ebook. The first. It's. It's called Five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. And the first step is going to teach you exactly how to transform this. I'm not going to tell you what the step is. You got to get the ebook. And if you already got the E book. Did you read it? Did you really? Did you open it? Did you Listen. Did you check it out? It's got the five key tools to liberate you forever. But that's all. Anyway, check it out. Drz Com D R A Z I Z Com. You are awesome. Until we speak again and may have the courage to be who you are and to know that you are awesome. I know it. Do you know it? Let's celebrate it. Talk to you soon.
