Dr. Aziz explains a short, practical method to build lasting confidence by deliberately celebrating small wins and changing one’s internal narrative. Using a mastermind-group anecdote and a social-confidence example, he shows that acknowledging incremental successes (rather than downplaying them) fuels motivation and growth. He prescribes simple rituals — brief physical celebration (jumping or a one-minute cheer), a universal fist gesture plus voiced affirmation, and narrating outcomes with identity statements (e.g., "that's like me") — to reinforce an identity of success.
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Alright, here is a quick secret key to confidence that almost no one is doing. And you got to do it. If you really want to increase your confidence and you want to thrive in your confidence, you got to do this one thing. It only takes like 30 seconds. Here's the thing, it's not time, it's just intention and focus. So let me share. You know what this is just the other night I was running a mastermind call that I run. It's a group program. And, and one of the things we start with is having people share their wins from the last week or two. And I'm doing this and we have a big group there that night, probably about 20. And I said, okay, let's hear some wins. Anybody? Anybody? And it was crickets. And I'm like, okay. And then instead of, you know, saying, well, just come on, somebody do it. I said, hold on a second, hold on a second. More important than the wins now I'm curious to hear what's going on. What's happening for you when you try to look inside of yourself and find a win, find something that's going well. And so I started calling on people and I said, john, how about you make up names, you know, John, how about you? Jimmy, how about you? Sarah, how about you? Right? And every single one of them, it was some version of like, I didn't do enough, my win's not good enough yet. And I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, let's get back to the drawing board here. What are wins? What can we celebrate? Because here's the thing, your success builds on success and we think it's the opposite. We think if we celebrate the small wins, if we acknowledge ourselves, if we give ourselves credit that we're going to start to stop moving forward, we're just going to get complacent. It's complete and total bullshit. What happens? Think about any other area of growth in your health and fitness. If you get a little stronger and you're able to run a little faster, a little further, or you complete that race you've been training for, or, or you go to the gym and you're getting stronger, do you want to stop or are you more excited, you more charged up when you hit that milestone? Same thing in work. Let's say you are getting, you know, you have this big project and you hit milestone number three and you only got two left. Are you quitting or are you more excited to keep going? For the most part, when we hit our milestones, when we acknowledge our successes and our wins, we are More charged up. Let me give you a social example. I was working with one guy also in that mastermind group, and he was saying that he went out that was like three times in the last week. One of his goals is to master his social confidence, to be able to talk to anyone with freedom and ease in himself and to be good at it. So it's like, okay, great. Well, you gotta work on your inner game, how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself, your beliefs about, you know, whether people are gonna like you or want to talk to you. But then you also got to go out there and practice. And to his credit, he's doing all of that. So he's going out there, he's practicing. He went out three times in one week and interacts with people. One was a social mixer, one was some guy comedy club thing he went to, and one was a work function where he went where he normally would have dodged it and avoided it. But there was a lot of people there that he sort of knew, peripherally knew, and he was going around introducing himself, doing all kinds of social fitness practice. So he goes out three times. I said, so over the three times you went out, how many new interactions did you personally start up? And he's like, I don't know, maybe 15 or something, maybe more. I said, wow, 15 reps, 15 practices in one week. That's awesome. Is that not a win? And he's like, well, you know, yeah. But there was this one where I was kind of nervous talking to those people and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we got a problem here. Because if you think you're going to get, you know, stay inspired to keep doing the work needed. Because if you want confidence, you can learn confidence. It is complete and total BS that you're just born with it. That's lazy to say, oh, they're born with it. I'm not. What are you gonna do? That's lazy. No, the truth is you can do it, you can build it. You just gotta practice. So he's practicing a lot. You could probably get better at social confidence without practicing that much. Just go out once a week. But anyway, he's doing more. He wants to get there faster. That's great. But it slows you down to focus on the flaw and then get discouraged and beat yourself up and try to fix that and make sure that never happens again. No, forget that. Celebrate your wins. And sometimes you have to force yourself to do it because our default is to not want to do it. And so you know what? I do. And this Is a habit that I formed and I force myself to do this. When something awesome happens, something goes my way at work or in business. A new client signs up for one of our programs, we hit a milestone in completing a project. We get, you know, our live event grows in some way. I get news from my wife, Something exciting happens in our family, Something good goes well. You know what I do? I will stop what I'm doing. I'll get out of my desk, I'll put on a song, and I'll do a minute of celebration where I will literally jump up and down, be like, yes, yes. Woo. Woo. And it's ridiculous and it makes me laugh. And that is the point, because I am training myself to say, this matters. Because otherwise, you know what we do? You get that great news through your phone or email, right? Or someone tells you, and this is what we do. Cool. Cool. How much juice is in that? Nothing. And here, if you really want to take it to the next level, you know what else you do in addition to celebrating it? And if you don't want to be all dramatic like me, then just do this. Are you ready? Here's a universal celebration gesture. Take your hand, hold it up. Come on, do it with me. All right, hold it up, make a fist and then go like this. You got to say the S. Come on, hold your hand up. Fist. 1, 2, 3. If you want to add the in, you can, because it feels good. But here's the thing. Not only do we celebrate, we also want to reinforce that this kind of thing happens. Like, yeah, of course that thing worked out. Yes. Sometimes my mind predicts that nothing I'm going to do is going to work, but look, look what actually happens. So you narrate to yourself. You, like, tell yourself the story of, like, look, you thought it wasn't going to work and it did. And you know what we're doing there? We're consciously upgrading our scripts and our stories to get out of that failure identity. It's never going to work identity, I'm a loser identity to like, look, this is what happens. And if you want to make it even a step further, I learned this one from Brian Johnson. Just say, that's like me. Just like me to have another person, you know, another sale. Just like me to have another person want to go on a date with me. That's just like me. Because stuff happens for me like that stuff goes my way like that. And then you're building identity of like, I'm a success, things go my way. So you can intensify the celebration and the win to make it even more powerful in changing how you see yourself and changing your confidence for life. So thanks for being with me today. Share below what you're finding most valuable and until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
