Are Women Worth It?

And now it's time to ask the shrink. Hey, welcome to another bonus episode of Shrink for the shy guy. Today it's a bonus segment about Ask the Shrink where I'm going to be answering questions that come in. Today's question again, I don't have the name. I need to get better about having someone on my team provide me with those, but Mr. X. Mr. X says hi, Dr. Z's. I heard about the movement MGTOW, man going their own way. Their ideas and theories sound pretty logical to me. That is why I lost my motivation to improve my dating confidence, because I keep telling myself women are not worth it. I'm really curious what you think of mgtow since you found true happiness and joy with your wife. Best regards, Mr. X. That's a great question. And you know what? It's true. I have found true happiness and joy with my wife. It's the most incredible relationship I've ever experienced. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever had. Tremendous amounts of love and support, and we treat each other really well, even in conflict, even in times of disagreement, which are inevitable in any relationship, especially when you have two young kids. And it's incredible. And I'm having an experience with her which I never thought was possible, which is that as each year passes, I love her more and I'm closer to her and I'm more attached and I'm more interested in her. And I used to have this story that was like, well, after X months or whatever, you lose interest in each other. And I actually found that that was just fear. That was just an unwillingness to show up fucking boldly fully. Go the places that scare you. Have the hard conversations. Go for what you want, ask for what you want. Be who you are and continue to grow and evolve. And then it gets. Then you never get tired of each other. So mgtow, you know, I'm not super. I've heard of that. I'm not super familiar with it. I don't know if it's part of the. I forget the name of the community, but they have the red pill and the blue pill. You guys probably know what I'm talking about, some of you. But it's kind of this movement of reclaiming masculine power. And they say there's the feminist imperative that's emasculated men. And now men are not comfortable being men. And I had a client that was really into it and he liked to share what he was reading and theories with me. And I like anything that helps people feel empowered with themselves. It Also did feel like it was loaded with a lot of like hurt, blaming, energy, like, you rejected me, women, fuck you, kind of. That was just his tone. I don't know if that's the whole movement. I'm not that educated on it, so I'm not going to speak for everyone in it. But I do know that one thing he got out of it was he stopped trying to impress women so much and he stopped trying to get all his value from does this woman like me? Does she call me back? Then I'm good and valuable and if she doesn't, then I'm a loser. And you know, this movement that he got into really helped him with that. So that's valuable. What you're saying though is really interesting because you said women are not worth it. Now I'm curious what that statement means. What is the it? Women are not worth it, they're not worth doing what? Now if you're saying they're not worth beating myself up over and sacrificing my self esteem and thinking I'm less than and over accommodating and doing whatever someone she wants because I'm afraid of her rejecting me and doing all these contortions and pretending to be someone else and trying to impress her. If that's your it, then yes, women are not worth that. No one is worth that. No job, no boss, no supervisor, no woman, no man. If you're a woman listening and you're trying to impress a man, or no man if you're a man or interested in men. You know, let's cover everyone here. If you, no one else is worth doing all that stuff. Sacrificing yourself over, accommodating to the point of losing yourself, no one is worth that. You want to stop doing that? So if that's what's helping you do, then great. Now if it's also like, you know what? I don't even care so much that I'm not even going to talk to women. You know what? It's probably, maybe it's a period you need to go through to kind of find yourself and get centered in owning your reality and not needing to impress and get approval to feel worthwhile. But as a way of life, I don't know, man, there's the juice of relationships. I mean, fuck, a relationship can magnify your life. When you get excited about something in your life, you get a raise, you get a promotion, you have a great sale, you do something great, you accomplish something, you achieve something, you run a marathon, you do something that you're excited about what's the first thing you want to do is call, call someone, share it with someone. You know. Life is magnified when you have a relationship. And on top of that, when you have a low point in your life, when you get those rejections one after another, having a woman or a man or someone that is in your life and you're in a relationship with man, that is essential. Nothing can replace that, that love that you can feel from someone else when you're having a hard time loving yourself. So to me that's fucking worth it. That's worth anything. That's worth any fear that I have to face. So I think the key here is the women are not worth it. Fuck em, forget it is kind of like a extreme swing of the pendulum to the other side from like I'm gonna be the over accommodating nice guy now. Fuck it, I don't need anything, I don't mind. They're not worth it. I'd say bring the pendulum back to the middle man and just like, you know what? I'm not going to do all the things I used to do that didn't serve me. And at the same time I can show up more powerfully. I can say what I want, I can ask for what I want. I can be bold and direct and courageous and fun and playful and myself and not do things I don't want to do and not sacrifice in ways that are unhealthy and not make compromises when I want to stand for something basically showing up powerfully and that allows you to show up more lovingly, more generously, give more. Because a huge part about relationships is being able to give from a place of power. And that means you can say no when you need to and you can say yes when you need to. So that would be the middle of the pendulum and I think that's gonna be the place for you to find and navigate. And it's a little messier and harder and sometimes it's uncomfortable and that's why we might want to stay in the far left of fuck it, I don't need them. So those are my thoughts. I'd be curious to hear what other people think and send me messages and also, you know, if you have questions for me. Draziz D R A Z I Z drazizrinkfortheshy guy I think you could actually send me a message directly to the website as well. Shrinkforthshyguy.com thanks for listening to today's bonus episode segment and I will see you soon. In the next episode, your awesome.