Are You Avoiding Confidence? | CONFIDENCE COACH, DR. AZIZ

Are you avoiding confidence? Let me explain what I mean. You probably want to be more confident in many different areas of life and you know that would benefit your experience and you'd have a higher quality of life, whether it's in your work, being able to speak up, be more assertive in your relationships, in just being around new people. Are you avoiding it? You might be. And this is a very important video to watch because this is the kind of thing that's unconscious. And I've been seeing this in clients and working with people for many, many years now. So I can see these patterns and then h highlight it to them and then they can shift it. And what I do is everything that I work, that's working with my group programs or online events or other things, I'll take the best stuff and share it here so you can get the learning and the insights right away. And of course, if you want to go further, then obviously check out my website, drz.com,-r-a z I z.com and you'll find out there's ways to really accelerate your growth in life changing ways. So what is this avoidance of confidence thing? Well, here's the thing. You right now have an identity and so do I. We all have an identity. An identity is a collection of beliefs and ideas and stories about who you are. Another way to say that is it's how you see yourself, your perspective of yourself. You know, humans, we have this fascinating ability to look out and see the world around us, but also look in and you know, am I tall or short? Am I attractive or not attractive? Am I worthy or not worthy? Am I capable or not capable? And this could be in many different areas. Am I worthy at work? Am I worthy in love? Am I worthy for friendship or am I not worthy? Now your identity is like a collection of all those things. And your identity is mostly unconscious. It's not verbal. Someone's not walking around saying, I don't think I'm worthy of friendship, so I want to avoid talking to that person. No, we just see the person and we're like, oh, anxiety, I'm going to go away. Right? So how are we avoiding confidence? Well, the more confident version of you has a different identity, right? Probably a better identity. For example, a more confident version, more confident identity might be I am worthy, I am desirable, I am capable, I can figure things out. If I make a mistake, people, it's okay. People are accepting and forgiving. I'm allowed to speak up for myself. Like these are all parts of that identity. So here we are with this maybe worse identity, and we want to get that better identity and feel more confident. Guess what? We do. We avoid that. Oh, yes, because changing, or what I call upgrading your identity, as desirable as that seems like, of course, why wouldn't I want to do that? It feels much better. I feel more confident. Guess what? The transition from one identity to another can be unsettling. It can produce anxiety and fear and uncertainty. Because as bad or limiting as that old identity is, it's familiar and you know it. And that creates a sense of certainty or stability. Look, I don't know what's going on out all there, and the world's crazy and changing, but I know that people aren't going to like me if I go try to put myself out there. That's one thing I do know. I'm going to hold on to that. It's like a life preserver. You just hold on to that sucker all the way down to the bottom of the ocean, and then you just, you know, you're just floating through life, not having life that you want, waiting as it passes you by. And as you feel like life is passing you by, opportunities are passing you by, you're adrift, you're just, you know, not fully living. That's probably a sign that you're stuck inside of an old identity that doesn't serve you, that doesn't fit, that's not even true anymore, but you're still living it. And that starts to create this real painful feeling. Much worse than feeling scared of people or not good enough at something. It's the feeling of like, I'm not living the life that I'm meant to live. And if you're feeling that, I relate. And it's, trust me, you can radically change this. I'm gonna share what I can in this video and these on YouTube, but if you wanna go further, go to draziZ-R-A-I-Z.com and click on the coaching on my main page. Because you can find out about coaching, how I work with people, and how it can transform your life. Because here's the thing, in order to have life that you want, you need to upgrade your identity. You need to start to see yourself differently. You know what that means? That means stepping into that new way of being before it feels familiar, it's going to feel unfamiliar, it's going to feel uncertain. So much of the work I do with people is helping them increase their capacity for uncertainty, increasing their tolerance for discomfort. I don't know what's going to happen when I put myself out there. Maybe those people won't want to be my friend, but here I go. And I'm open to the possibility that some new identity is maybe more true. I'm open to the possibility that what I've been telling myself about myself isn't true. And if you're clinging to that old way of being like, there's one thing I know, it's certain I can't, then I'm going to invite you to challenge that and to change that. Just the other day, we were watching select scenes from the Empire Strikes Back. We talked about Star Wars a lot with my little kids. They know about lightsabers and stuff. They've never seen the movies before. And so I was like, well, I could probably show them some select scenes from the Empire Strikes Back. That's not too scary. You know, it's got. I showed them Yoda training with Luke. A little bit of Darth Vader freaked one of my sons out, but it was okay. We worked through it. So Luke is with Yoda, and everyone remembers this scene, but Luke's ship, A wing. X wing. Is it X Wing? I'm not. Anyway, my nerdery is in the Gathering, not the Star wars movies, but I've seen them anyway. So Luke's X Wing ship is in the bottom of a bog, and. And Yoda is telling him to, like, use the Force to lift it out. And Luke's been able to lift stones and stuff, and he's like, I can't lift, like, a huge ship. It's way bigger. And Yoda's like, that's not how it works, dude. It doesn't matter about the size. It's about your use of the Force. Here's the Force. It's inside of everything. And Luke's like, all right, I'll give it a try. And what does Yoda say? Do or do not? There is no try. He sees Luke's state, and Luke's state is like, it's not going to work, old man. Old green guy. And so he tries. Sure enough, he fails. And then he says to Yoda, you want the impossible? He storms off in a heap and sits down on the ground, right? So Luke's identity there is. I'm not able to lift this object with the Force. I can't. And when he says, it's too heavy to lift. It's not possible. Yoda says, certain you are. And looks like, yeah, I'm certain. And we all do that. We're certain that it's not gonna work out, I'm certain that they're not gonna like me. And if you try to tell me otherwise, I'm gonna get pissed. Now, if I'm a nice person, I'm not gonna show that I'm pissed. I'm gonna be like, oh, okay. And then inside be like, you don't understand me. You don't get me. You don't know how hard it is for me. Right? And we blame them and we're angry at them. We're angry at everybody. And that's the thrashing around. That's the suffering of that old identity. So it's time for an upgrade. Give yourself that gift. Short version Start to do things that are outside of your old identity. Get started. At drazeez.com, you can get my eBook, 5 Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. But to be honest with you, to make the radical change in identity that you probably need and want, you got to go further than reading an e book. You got to apply this stuff. You got to practice this stuff. You got to join one of my communities. Join. I have different programs. You can find out about it in coaching. You got to do something to immerse yourself, to totally upgrade. If you really want to make this change, I highly recommend that, because that is how we totally transform this fantastic. So share down below what's working for you in the comments. Until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.