Are You STUCK?

Do you feel stuck in one or more areas of your life? Maybe dating, relationships, your career, a certain social situation? You just feel stuck? And if so, watch this episode. Because being stuck is not always a bad thing. In fact, there's a good kind of stuck that really serves you, which I'm going to share. So you're going to learn the difference between good stuck and bad stuck, and most importantly, how to get out of stuck. So stay tuned and watch this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and this is the show for you. If you want to 10x your confidence in every area of life that matters. And if you're enjoying these videos and want to learn more, by all means, hit like and click subscribe. Because I got a lot more coming out. And if you turn the little bell on, you'll find out as soon as they come out, you can watch them. Because the more you watch this stuff, the more you study it and the more you apply it, the faster you're going to grow. And again, my practice is take the best insights, principles, tools, strategies, inner game stuff that I learned from my own studies, my own life, working with clients, teaching live events, everything, and give the best of the best distilled out in these videos for free. Why? Because it's my mission. Operation Mass Liberation. So let's do it. Let's help you get unstuck. What is stuck? Stuck is a problem, right? We have a problem in our life or maybe multiple problems and we feel like we don't. We can't figure it out. So the problem might be I don't know how to find someone I'm attracted to. I don't know how to get dates, I don't know how to ask a woman out. Or no, men seem to be interested in me. Or a problem is I got this boss at work who rides me, I got this colleague that I don't like and I don't know how to deal with it. Or I got this reoccurring situation where my partner gets upset with me or I get scared here, whatever, I have a hard time working out in the morning, whatever. There's a million and one problems we can have, right? 99 problems. So that's the. That's the. And the problem is there's the problem. But then we get stuck and stuck with, oh, I don't know, I don't have a solution. So that's what stuck feels like. And the more we are attempting different ways to overcome the problem and we feel like we can't problem persists, then we feel more and more and more stuck. That's what stuck is. So what's good stuck? Well, good stuck is stuck and searching. Stuck and searching. That means you, you're in that you're facing that problem and you haven't found a solution yet, but you're searching, you're looking around for answers. Maybe watching this video is part of your search for different problems in your life. You're searching for solutions actively. And not only that, you start, you are applying your testing what you're learning. You're not just passively taking in information. Then it's like personal growth, entertainment. Yeah, maybe that's a neat idea. That sounds cool. Not gonna do it. But I'm watching this, so that makes me good, right? No, you gotta apply what you learn. You gotta test it out. And if you're doing that, that's really good. In fact, that's growth, right? We're faced with a problem, we're expanding or doing something new in our lives. We hit a problem and then we have to find a solution. And we grow, we stretch, we overcome, we learn what we need to learn. And now we've solved that problem. Now not only can we solve that problem, when it reoccurs in, we can help other people solve that problem. So it's great. That's what we want. In fact, your life is going to be a never ending series of problems. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to inform you of that if you didn't already know that. So what we must do is learn how to approach those problems in a manner that doesn't derail our sense of happiness and fulfillment. Like another problem. Jesus Christ, man. Life was just getting good. I was having no problems. And now this thing comes along, right? Versus anticipating there's going to be problems and it's like, great. That's what you're. In many ways, that's what your current growth is, is the set of problems that you're working on solving. And if you do it, and if you actively search for solutions, learn and apply, then you get higher and higher and higher quality problems. For example, a low quality problem is no one will even talk to me. And a higher quality problem is, well, I have several people that I'm dating and I gotta decide which one I want to be with. And I have to say no to several people. Now if you're in that situation, that can still be uncomfortable. You can feel a lot of tension or anxiety about it, but it's a higher quality problem. A year ago, when no one would talk to you, you would have killed to have the high quality problem of choosing, you know, which partner out of the three you want to date, right? So we want, we want higher and higher quality problems. So being stuck and searching is a good thing. Here's where being stuck turns sour. Stuck and stressed. That's like, I have this problem. What's the solution? I don't know, man. I don't know what's. I got to figure this out. Oh, this is going to be terrible. And maybe we think we're looking for solutions, but we're really just replaying scary horror stories in our mind about this is gonna go bad. And what if that happens? What if this problem continues forever? I mean, what if another problem comes along and adds to this problem? And oh my gosh, if I have this problem for too long, I'm gonna die or I'm gonna lose something really important. And we're stressed, we're anxious, and we're not really effectively solving the problem. We're just ruminating about, we're worrying about it. I think I said this recently in another video, a phrase I used to get myself out of that is to say, I don't worry. I solve problems. Problems, I don't worry, I solve problems. So I notice myself worrying. I say, no, no, no, I don't worry, I solve problems. Is this a problem that I need to solve? Do I need to take 10 minutes and actually do some focused brainstorming on how to solve this problem? And if I've already done that, or if it's not the time, like I'm at the gym or whatever, I'm with my kids, I'll deal with that later. I'll have problem solving time. But in general, I don't worry, I solve problems. That's been very effective at helping me just let go. In the moment of a lot of stuff being clear with yourself and, and where you want your mind to go, you can develop that. It's amazing. So stuck and stressed, that's a bad kind of stuck. It doesn't serve us. The worst kind of stuck, though is stuck and stagnant. And usually we settle. Maybe we're stuck in stress for a while and if we're stuck long enough though, we can settle into stuck and stagnant and the water just stops flowing and our energy goes down and we get into learned helplessness. Well, I've tried everything and it didn't work, so I'm not going to try again. And then, as you know, once we've made that decision. Our life force and our vital energy just drops out because we're not confronting life, we're not growing. And if we stop growing, we start to shrivel and wither and then we're more compelled to. Our self esteem goes down because we know we're not facing the challenges of life. We feel helpless, we feel small, we feel more scared because we realize we aren't able to take life on or we think we aren't and we're not doing it at that moment. And then our urge to do like reward seeking behaviors that just give us a quick hit, you know, the donut, the cup of coffee, the joint, the drink, the Internet, random searches, hours and hours of Internet searching, porn, whatever gives you a little bit of rush just to feel alive for a minute and then back to stuck and stagnant. And a lot of people live just floating in that pool. And the more we do that, the more we weaken ourselves and we get more stagnant, we get. And it's this vicious cycle. And so we need to break out of that. And I'm going to share a couple of things right now with you that are going to help you do that. So what I want you to do is let's get out of ideas and theory and into action. So stand up. If you're not already standing as you watch this video, stand up. And if you can't do this right now, do it the best you can in your car or whatever. If you're in public or something, just do it later. Save this, because watching this is going to give you, if not nothing, maybe that much. But doing it is going to change everything. So let's do it. So stand up and shake your body out. And we're take five. Here's some basic ways to break stagnancy and get into energy. And action. Take five full breaths with me. In through your nose and out through your mouth like this. And if your nose is really stuffed up for some reason, you can do it through your mouth. But do you feel even just that you can get some energy? You might feel a little light headed. You might feel a rush of energy. That's good, that's oxygen pumping into you. So get some energy in you. Then we must reclaim your power. You are not the victim of circumstance. You are the fucking creator of your life. And that's true. You just have to remind yourself of that. So here's a way that I love to do that. You might have seen this in a previous video, but we're gonna do it because you can never do this one too much. We're gonna say this. Repeat after me. I am the captain of my ship. I am the master of. Of my destiny. Good. Now stand tall as you say it. Get serious. Or sincere, whatever it is. You can be smiling, but sincere. Mean it. Say it like you mean it and say it loud and say it proud. On the count of three. One, two, three. I am the captain of my ship. I am the master of my destiny. Good. One more time with full power, full intensity, get a little crazy. And if you're alone, get fully crazy. Because the more kind of outrageous you can get in your body, the more you're going to activate energy and get you out of stagnancy. On the count of three. One, two, three. Say it with me. I am the captain of my ship. I am the master of my destiny. All right, I'm going to do one more. Because I'm sort of thinking about you and helping you follow along. I'm just going to do one more. This is how I do it. If I was by myself, I do this. I am the captain of my ship. I am the master of my destiny. And I think of a video called how to defeat Doubt. If you want to see me, just go all out for a while on that one. But doing it at that extra level of intensity, I feel a rush of energy through my body. So that's what you want to do, is amplify the intensity. Now, from this place of amplified energy, you must take action. You must take one small action to reclaim your will. Because when we get stagnant for too long, we start to get depressed and we lose our willpower, we lose our will and, and we weaken and we feel like we're just incapable, which is a total illusion. And you can reclaim your active will. So now that you have this power in your body, go do something that's slightly uncomfortable but readily accessible. Like 10 pushups. Do 10 pushups or one of my favorite things these days, go take a 30 second cold shower. Whew. That'll get you going. Something that's uncomfortable, that will reclaim your act of will, or maybe you know, something specific to your life that's gonna help you solve the problem. Send that email, pick up the phone, make a call, write something down, brainstorm some solutions, do some sort of action. Although I love the physical, like the push ups or the cold shower or something, because it's a physical rewiring of reclaiming your will. Then you can get into the more of the abstract problem solving. So that is how you reclaim your power. And remember this. Every problem has a solution. Every problem has a solution. You just haven't found it yet. No, you haven't tried everything, because every problem has a solution. I tell myself that all the time. When I'm stressed, when I'm struggling. I'm never going to solve this one. Every problem has a solution. Maybe it's a multiple, it's a set of solutions. Whatever it is, you haven't found it yet. Keep seeking, keep testing, keep applying, and you will break through to the other side. Hope this video serves you. Share below what you're finding most valuable, what you're learning, and until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.