Ask The Shrink: Are You Tired Of Being Overlooked At Work?

And now it's time to ask the shrink. Hey, welcome to this bonus Q and A episode of Shrink for the shy guy. I'm Dr. Aziz, and today we're going to be looking at a question about being overlooked at work. Is this something that you can relate to, something you've experienced? So this is actually a composition of a few different questions that have come up recently in some of the clients we've been working with in my Mastermind program and across the board. They all have this similar situation where they are being overlooked at work. They do have expertise, they have knowledge, they have experience. And people aren't going to them. People aren't asking them in meetings. They are being either ignored or they give their opinion, and then someone else's seems more valid, or the director or leader kind of goes with someone else's perspective. Even though my clients know a lot about what's going on and it's extremely frustrating for them because it's not that they're not intelligent, that they don't know their industry, that they're not very skilled in their work, it's about their confidence. And so when our confidence is low in certain ways, we get overlooked. So I wanted to answer that question right now in today's episode. And if you can relate to this, then you're going to love this. So are you tired of being overlooked? Is that happening to you? I'm gonna share why right now. If you're getting overlooked at work, it's because you want to be dun, dun, dun. How dare you, sir? Alright, let me frame it in a different way. If you're getting overlooked at work, it's because part of you is wanting that. Maybe not all of you, maybe part of you inside there is like, no, I want to get noticed. I want to have my ideas shared. I want to be leadership. I want to contribute more. And then there's another part inside of there that's like, eek. I don't want any of those things. I want to lay low. Because here's the thing, a long time ago, probably in school, maybe even before that, in your family where you grew up, you learned that the safest way to go through life was to lay low, was to be as close to invisible as possible. Don't speak up, don't make waves, don't have disagreements, don't challenge people, don't upset people. Just lay low. Maybe you did that so dad wouldn't yell at you, or so mom, so your siblings wouldn't fight with you, whatever it is. Or you learn that at school so you wouldn't get made fun of. You didn't raise your hand, you didn't speak up, you didn't go to the front of the room. You didn't do all that stuff to avoid all that. And I know these things personally. This is exactly what I did. And so as a result, flash forward 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years, you're in a career situation, and what are you doing? The same old pattern. It's a safety pattern. And so when we're being overlooked at work, it's because we've been running that safety pattern for too long. So what do we do? First of all, are you seeing the truth in this for you? Is this resonating for you? Are you able to see the ways that you might be holding yourself back on purpose, as frustrating as it might be? So what's the solution? Well, the solution is bold action, because that's what's gonna get the confidence that you need, and then that's gonna deliver the kind of responses that you want from others. And we've seen this time and time again. But what happens is there's a transition from, okay, I want to speak up, but I'm scared. I don't know if I'm going to do it, to a decision that you're going to start doing that consistently. Small at first, but consistently that means I'm going to share my idea in this meeting. I'm going to ask the question that I have to ask, and specifically, I'm going to hold my ground more. So if someone. If I share an idea and then someone else shares a counter idea, and everyone just kind of moves on with the new person's idea, I might say, hold on a second here. I'm not entirely convinced. I have some questions about this. Now, for some of you, that's very doable. If you're listening to this and your skin is crawling, then you have a clear evidence right now that what I'm saying is true, that there's a part of you that is scared of this. And that's okay. I get it, man. It's uncomfortable for me. Even after all these years and all this practice, it's still uncomfortable. And yet that's exactly what we got to do if we want to grow in our careers. So this is just the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more I could share about this boldness and speaking up, specifically in your work. In fact, that's why we created this upcoming live event that I have in the beginning of 2020, right at the end of January, beginning of February, where it's called Maximize youe Money and Career Confidence. And we focus specifically on confidence at work, in business, in career situations, in networking, in negotiation. And there's so many places that we're just holding ourselves back, and we're just scared. So if you want to come together and join into an environment that's going to just radically boost your confidence in your career, not just at the beginning of the year here, but through all of 2020 and beyond. Because my goal is for you to break through some of these challenges so you can really just unleash yourself in your career for this year and beyond and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that. So I would love to work with you in person. In Portland, we have the Early Bird tickets running for just a short period of time, longer. To claim your ticket, you can go to shrinkforthshyguy.com, shrinkforthshyguy.com below this Q and A episode, there'll be a link to the event page. Also, on the right side of the Shrink for the Shy Guy page, there's a thing that says live Events. So click on that, click on the career event, and you'll be able to get your ticket for the early bird price. And I would love to see you there. I mean, listening to this and getting some sense of what's possible is perhaps exciting. But taking the bold action and the risk and the leap to come join me is what's going to transform your life. Because we're going to go deep, and people know that if you've been to one of my events, we go deep and we go right to the core of this so that you can really resolve this and be the most bold version of you at work in your career. And, man, I mean, it's worth it in every area of life, like being bold socially, being bold in dating, it all has great benefits. But being bold at work is just so damn satisfying, right? Because you spend so much time there, and just to feel stuck or stagnant in that area is so frustrating. And to be dominated by the fear in that area can be so debilitating. So let's end that. Let's join together and really step up in 2020, claim this is gonna be the year that I'm gonna master my career confidence and confidence beyond. And let's do this. So go to those places, shrinkfortheshyguy.com to get your ticket, and I would love to see you there. And I'll see you in the next episode of Shrink for the shy guy. Until then, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.