Dr. Aziz argues that authenticity—aligning your words, body, and desires—naturally draws more attention. People resist it because attention feels like judgment or triggers nervous-system discomfort. He walks through short-term effects like clearer body language and long-term gains in leadership and dating.
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Look out. Authenticity will get you attention. That's what this video is about. And that might sound good, but it also might sound bad. And that might explain why part of you wants to connect and be out there and be expressive and be outgoing and another part of you is more reserved and anxious and doesn't trust people and doesn't want to and feels uncomfortable and rather avoid the whole thing. You're going to understand exactly why as you watch this video. I'm Dr. Azies. I'm the founder of the center for Social Confidence and author of four going on five best selling books about confidence. And if you're benefiting from this, click down below to subscribe to the channel. Give it a thumbs up so we can reach more people and support in the mission of mass liberation to help as many people as possible become their most free, bold, confident selves. So when you are more authentic, you will get more attention. Have you seen this? Maybe you've done a little bit of growth and work from this channel or elsewhere, but if you haven't, don't worry, you will. But what happens is the when you are more authentic, you're going to say things that maybe are more direct, maybe you're going to ask for things more directly. Maybe you're going to express yourself in ways that are more you. There's a lot of reasons why you're going to get more attention, but I think one of the umbrella summary of it is you're going to get more attention because you are more congruent. Congruent means things are going in the same direction. You're not saying one thing and acting another way. You're not saying hi with your voice and then your body language is like don't talk to me, right? You are congruent. So what happens is when people are congruent, they emit more energy, their body language is clear, they are more attractive, they are more noticed. That's in the short term. You also get more attention from being authentic in the long term because the more authentic you are, the more successful you'll be. The more that you'll be able to put yourself out there, the more you'll be able to be in a leadership position. The more you're going to put yourself out there in dating relationships, the more that you're going to be able to share your art or your work or your ideas or anything with the world. And that means you're going to have more people that get more attention to you. So also you're going to become more attractive because you are More if you're authentic. If, let's say, your core nature is more masculine, that's going to be more attractive to feminine energy, and vice versa. If you're more feminine, that authenticity is going to attract more. We've had that in our group program. We've had people who may not even be working on dating in their confidence. All of a sudden they're getting attention, and then they learn how to date and date with more confidence as a byproduct. So my question for you is, do you want that? A lot of people want to be more authentic, but they don't want the attention. They don't want more people to notice them. They don't want more reactions. And you might say, well, that's crazy. Why wouldn't they want that? I don't know. Why don't you want that? But I've often found it's because they associate. Attention is judgment. Right? They had experiences when they were younger. Maybe they're in front of the class and they had to read a report, and then people laughed at them or they don't even remember why. They were just kind of the more shy child, and they're sort of like, oh, my gosh. If people paid attention to me in the playground, it means I got made fun of or beat up or. Or even just my nervous system got uncomfortable with that many eyes on me, right? If you're a very sensitive kid, then even just one of my sons, he's in a pod of 12 for his outdoor school, and they would share their art. And he said, like, he didn't like to share. He liked to share with one kid or the teacher, but not all 11 other kids. And my wife asked him about it, and he's like, I don't like when everyone's looking at me. And so I said, show me. Like the. Show me with your face and your body. What does it feel like when all 11 people plus the teacher are looking at you? And he went like this, and his eyes were rolling back, and I was like, yeah, it's pretty intense, huh? And he's like, yeah, right. He doesn't know how to verbalize it. But it's like when you're sensitive in your nervous system, you perceive more, you perceive more emotion, you perceive more energy, you feel a lot more. Then it can be uncomfortable. And so we might want to avoid that. So whatever the reasons are, we don't want attention because attention is uncomfortable or it's bad or it's dangerous. So we dampen our authenticity. Are you relating to this have you seen the ways that you might be doing this? So the question I have for you is, do you want to keep doing that? I mean, because that's the choice, the choice you've been making every day of your life. And you can choose, you can choose differently today. And the answer, what's more important when it comes to the answer is not what you say, it's not even what you think, it's in what you do. Because I see this all the time. People are like, I want to be more authentic. I want to be more confident. I want to be more this, like, okay, great. And then I watch what they do and their behavior is like, I want everything to stay the same. I want to be safe and comfortable. I want to, I don't want anyone to dislike me. I say, okay, you are more committed to being safe and secure and stable and light and keeping everything the status quo than you are to being confident or having the life that you want. And that's okay, that's okay. But we just want to be congruent with our language and say, you know what? I don't want to make those changes. That amount of instability or change is too uncomfortable. I'm going to keep things the way they are because I like it that way. At least then you're being honest, you're being congruent, you're being more authentic and you'll feel better. But if you really want to change, you're going to start practicing this stuff. So share down below in the comments what's relating to you from this one? What are you seeing about yourself when it comes to being more authentic? Share down below. And again, if you want to learn more about how to be authentic, I mean all of my work can help you with that. And we have a course called Total Social Freedom that we'll link down below in the description. That's a 90 day immersion course that has live group coaching for me in it. Plus a lot of exercises and modules are going to get you to do, to practice this, to practice the authenticity. It is like that book of my not nice in an immersive 90 day experience. So it's like not nice on steroids. If you want to become more authentic and more you, that's a powerful way to do it. So fantastic. Make sure you share down below in the comments and click the like button and I look forward to seeing you in the next video until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
