A short video by Dr. Aziz addressing social anxiety rooted in the pressure to impress others. He argues that trying to ‘perform’ prevents genuine connection, and encourages viewers to take the risk of showing up fully as themselves so relationships (dates, friendships, hiring) form from connection rather than impressed performance.
Do you feel anxious before connecting with people? Maybe in certain situations. At work, someone who's powerful or successful, social situation. And what's behind that? Well, it's the feeling of pressure to impress that person. I have to impress them so that they like me. So now I gotta tell a good story or look a certain way, or not show certain things about myself. You might not even know how to impress them. But it's just this background pressure that's completely false. People aren't going to like you because you impress them. They're not going to want to date you or be your friend or hire you or love you because you impressed them. It's because there is a connection there. And the more you can show show up fully as yourself, there's the opportunity to create that connection. Because as long as you're running the performance game in the social situation, you can't actually create a connection. So even if they want a second date with you now you got to perform again. And it's a never ending treadmill that you're gonna fall off of sooner or later. So the question is, when is it the time to take the risk to be fully yourself and to remember that people are gonna like me because of the connection, not because I impress them.
