A short talk by Dr. Aziz about the fear of being disliked and how that fear is often mistaken for real danger. Using a vivid personal example (a 25-foot drop by a basketball hoop) he contrasts true physical danger with social discomfort, and encourages slowing down to re-evaluate fearful reactions to perceived social threats.
So you're worried that people are going to judge you if you speak up for yourself, that someone's not going to like you, that if you express yourself more fully, then bad things are going to happen. People aren't going to like me. Right. And that creates this fear response in you and you act as if it's a real danger. And one of the key things to liberating yourself from the cage of niceness is to distinguish between a real danger and something that's actually not dangerous, that you have. Almost like a phobia. So check this out. I'm recording this from my deck here outside of my office, and down there is a concrete pad with my basketball hoop and stuff. And that's about a 25 foot drop on the concrete. Jumping over the railing, it's pretty dangerous. Probably break at least my legs. I don't know, maybe something else. What about Susie not liking you? Is that the same as jumping off of this thing and you guys. Oh, yes. Yes, it is. It is disease. No, it's not. And really catching that story and slowing down in the moment and saying, is it really dangerous when you feel fear can change everything.
